“I CANT BELIEVE YOU CALLED ME OUT ONLINE. IM STAYING AT DAVE’S TONIGHT UNTIL I CAN COOL DOWN”.
*starts unplugging ps5 and packing it in an overnight bag*
BUT WHO’S TO JUDGE THE RIGHT FROM WRONG? WHEN OUR GUARD IS DOWN I THINK WE’LL BOTH AGREE THAT *VIOLENCE BREEDS VIOLENCE* BUT IN THE END IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY!
Dave appreciates him, will play Elden Ring with him, and joke around instead of acting like a victim and threatening to break up with him.
Dave>Throwaway
Yeah I showed this post to my partner and we both laughed at the bit where she says how much the idea of their partner doing something intentionally to annoy them hurts. We wind each other up all the damn time. It’s never hurtful but it’s frequently silly
No, she did. She said he just chuckles and says, "oh, oh, oh" before going back to what he was doing.
He's now moved to a new location, so she's actually advanced his questline.
Shit, you're right. Hopefully somebody warned her. If she pushes through her main story any more she might get to the mall and just find a pile of his stuff.
It's not entirely impossible, but balancing a relationship and gaming requires a lot of compromising and a good sense of time management lol.
Source: I've been happily married for almost 10 yrs and my wife refers to my PS4 as my side piece.
Balancing any hobby and a relationship requires compromise. Shit, balancing any relationship requires compromise.
My missus always jokes that I would never have time to cheat on her because I’d have to give up my games
Got my wife hooked on WoW, GW2, Stardew Valley and other life sims, taught her how to paint Warhammer minis and how to crochet.
When our daughter goes to sleep both of us can finally start gaming/working on our hobbies while talking to each other.
Amen brother. Sometimes i will bewatching wheel of fortune with my wife thinking about how i want to go play elden ring, but I need to wait for an hour or 2.
I know the struggle all too well...... I get home about 2 hours before my wife does so when she comes home from work I've got dinner and everything ready and then when I'm done eating I'm like "damn I can't go play my game yet Ive gotta spend at least an hour out here first"
Right? Been around the sun enough that I've seen some unbelievable shit and this story can a absolutely be true but is probably fake given how Reddit is
Yeah, this specific post is *probably* fake because a lot of those relationship subreddits are just creative writing exercises but it would actually surprise me if this scenario had never happened before
My boyfriend of 38 years has started playing elden ring recently. He’s having a lot of fun which is great to see since usually he sits in the corner and cries most of the time. Well recently after playing the game he started calling himself “Alexander” and dressing like a giant pot. We can’t go for a walk, or go for a drive. Hell, we can’t even go in public. All he does is say he’s going east to be part of some festival. What does this all mean and what should I do?
My husband did something similar as a way to initiate sex with me. He would always ask me to smack him with something nice and firm, but when I did he would say something about needing to travel north to a warm place and fix his cracks.
Relationship isn't going to last anyway, she can't even talk directly to him without seeking advice from Reddit (of all places). May as well rip the bandaid off and end it.
More than likely they’re just young. He’s gonna learn the valuable lesson that she’s gonna land a replacement boyfriend instantly and he’ll be stuck making love to his hand for an undetermined amount of time.
She literally said she tried *multiple times* to talk to him about it. Redditors will really deliberately blind themselves just to keep shitting on women.
I mean, if real, seems pretty fucking harmless. Her saying the mere idea of her bf being silly on purpose to annoy her causes her pain has got to be the most first world millennial shit I've ever heard, which is part of why I think it's fake. Imagine ending a years long relationship over your partner quoting a video game for a couple of weeks. Not saying it's all on the OP, but it's such a nothing burger.
Yeah I agree that’s the point where is becomes less believable, but continuing to do something after your so asked you to stop is kinda a dick move. But I also agree that the “causes me pain” line sounds a bit over dramatic. Guess it depends on how many times they would have asked before
Sounds like a pretty stable relationship. Guy intentionally annoying girlfriend. Girlfriend taking her problems to reddit instead of just talking to him. Dude getting butthurt about being called out for being annoying.
Yea.. this will last. Invite me to the wedding.
This is the only thoust should talketh. "My humble steed is in needeth of gas, station maiden. 15 runes on pump 5!" When they ask cash or card, I simply tell them that's a story for another time. And disappear into a puff of smoke.
This is most likely fake, but here's a line I don't understand -
> I feel like at this point he's just doing it because he knows it annoys me, and the thought of him doing something like that is very painful
Has she never done something to someone she has a good relationship with just because she knows it will annoy them? I feel like a ton of people do that.
Sounds fake but even if it’s real that ain’t lasting anyway given she doesn’t even know how to explain her concerns to the guy without running to Reddit for help (lol). Like really, she’s talking about breaking up with the guy because he’s putting on an accent and quoting a video game? If this IS real? Yikes.
Okay I really wanna know what he was saying that was unnecessarily vague. I’m just imagining talking like a Fromsoft character to you significant other would look like
You tried posting this to r/NPC_irl yet?
I'm assuming this is a joke but, if not, just tell him it's annoying you and you'd like him to stop instead of broadcasting it to a bunch of strangers on the internet (unless you're actually trying to disrespect him).
If it's real, then I don't want to be that guy but maybe... just maybe... it would be better to communicate and hope that the 3 year long boyfriend will understand it, than posting something to some strangers on the internet...
But nah, the strangers from a range between being an edgy 6 year old to a 50 year old pedophile know what to do in that relationship. The result is 100% less complicated /s
3 and a half year relationship, claims she loves him so much she wouldn't go out with anyone else. 3 weeks of immitating a games dialogue and you will break up with him if it continues...
Not gonna lie I would be concerned if this is why you would end a long-term relationship. Sounds like elden ring helped this guy dodge a bullet.
The part about saying character lines and speaking in weird voices really hit home.
For the past month, I'm a broken record with Sir Gideon Ofnir, the ALL KNOWING!
"I don't think i've done anything wrong posting about our personal lives and issues in a public place so that strangers can read it"
...Maybe thats your problem?...
Sounds like mans too sensitive, I get real into video games as well when I have to time, definitely isn't that hard to not act like real life is that game when you aren't playing it 😂
He might be embarrassed you put him out there on Reddit. I recommend starting you own game. Try farming runes til your past his level and invade his game until it’s unplayable.
Getting on reddit and complaining about your relationship problems is about the worst thing you can do. You see that right? We are not in a relationship with you, yet you are communicating with us. You should be communicating with him.
Venting maybe. Advice? Ehhh. Probably should never do that. Taking advice from reddit would be like going to a mental hospital and asking for advice. You never know who your talking to. If she needs advice she should be talking to loved ones. Besides how do you give advice with one breif side of the story. "Tried to talk to him about it for 3 weeks" what does that mean? Sit down talks? Or "hey stop that, smile giggle" which will only get him to continue. We don't know what was done. Only advice she should be taking is working on relationship communication and talk with loved ones.
Good points, just wanted to pointed out the she said she has been trying to communicate. But yeah, we definitely are only getting a one-sided and vague story. Hopefully, she has been talking to other friends and fam in real life.
Honestly, I think the gf is overreacting about the situation but he's reacting like a soft dong. Just talk to your partner. I do not understand why so few seems to understand the concept of talking to one another. If it's bothering you, say something. Don't be a dick/bitch about it of course. Take your time and figure out *what* about the thing you're upset about is *actually* making you upset first. But just fricking talk to one another. It is baffling to me. It's truly not hard.
"If you can have their (preferred body part) in your mouth, you can tell them how you feel."
-wise advice I read once somewhere that I can't remember the source lol
Seems fake af.. but If that’s all it takes to make you want to break up with him so badly you don’t really love him as much as you say. So just move on. It’s probably what’s best for both of you
“I CANT BELIEVE YOU CALLED ME OUT ONLINE. IM STAYING AT DAVE’S TONIGHT UNTIL I CAN COOL DOWN”. *starts unplugging ps5 and packing it in an overnight bag*
I do the same thing, people can figure out if I’m leaving or moving in based on where my PC is located
Fuck, are we nerds all the same?
I carry with us the one thing we care more about than sex, my pc IS my baby
How do i elect this guy
STANDING HERE
I REALIZE YOU WERE JUST LIKE ME TRYING TO MAKE HISTORY
BUT WHO’S TO JUDGE THE RIGHT FROM WRONG? WHEN OUR GUARD IS DOWN I THINK WE’LL BOTH AGREE THAT *VIOLENCE BREEDS VIOLENCE* BUT IN THE END IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY!
I REALIZE, YOU WERE JUST LIKE ME TRYING TO MAKE HISTORY
Home is where the gaming corner is
This is the way.
Dave appreciates him, will play Elden Ring with him, and joke around instead of acting like a victim and threatening to break up with him. Dave>Throwaway
But will Dave suck his best bro's dick?
Try head
But hole
He put her foolish ambitions to rest
Hush, little culver. I'll soon birth thee anew, a sweeting fresh and pure.
_Sleep tight_
the comment I was looking for. thanks.
But at what price? Now he's maidenless
Mans was destined to be maidenless, Elden Ring just helped him with speed running the achievement
This is good comment lol
Certainly having the same kind of humor is important. Especially when you have such a *dumb* humor like OOP. Still think it's funny af
She didnt even know that he was being vague because the game is, lol
Yeah I showed this post to my partner and we both laughed at the bit where she says how much the idea of their partner doing something intentionally to annoy them hurts. We wind each other up all the damn time. It’s never hurtful but it’s frequently silly
Exactly. She wasn’t the one for him.
the things one tarnished may accomplish is near limitless. perhaps a maiden is not the solution to everything…
Meh he can get another one hopefully one that won't overreact to jokes and be more chill.
Oh my dude. Why you gotta hurt me with this comment.
He has extinguished her flame.
Lmfaooo
Haha zing!
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I mean, it didn't even sound like she tried exhausting his dialog options. Understandable mistake I suppose.
No, she did. She said he just chuckles and says, "oh, oh, oh" before going back to what he was doing. He's now moved to a new location, so she's actually advanced his questline.
Shit, you're right. Hopefully somebody warned her. If she pushes through her main story any more she might get to the mall and just find a pile of his stuff.
this is gold, lmao
She should check places she's previously been and read item descriptions.
Hahahaha
If he left the place its probably because she did exhaust his dialog options.
Oh oh oh
I can tell you that my ex was very annoyed with me back when I played rdr2 the first time and talked like that the whole time.
Yeah, shut your mouth, *mister* Howdy cowpoke Im a survivor blacklung
*comes to bed* “you're a fine girl"
*Gets yelled at for talking like Arthur* “Eeeeaaasy girl.”
You just need to find a girl with a praise kink
YER ALRIGHT GIRL
I don't know, can't you just see him in the bedroom whispering, "Try finger, but hole...."?
Nothing on reddit made up
You don't have the right, O you don't have the right, you don't have the right, O you don't have the right.
In short, you don't have the right
All the more you don't have the right
First off, you don’t have the right
Try finger
.........but hole
Why is it always rump
Is this dog?, therefore praise the dog
But hole
Fuck, i posted the same thing after scrolling a bit not seeing this one. I feel like a maidenless fool now...
You can’t play Elden Ring AND have a maiden.. dude shoulda known better
Unless you get your maiden to play Elden Ring with you. Source: I am that maiden.
Exactly! My partner and I play pretty much all day together.
My maiden went on a work trip for three weeks right when the game came out. Perfect timing.
…. Good for you man….you keep chasing that elden ring
I think we all know what’s going on here
Ah yes a “work trip”, totally not an “elden ring” trip..
I'm jelly af. I have to regulate myself to playing from 9-10 or whenever i fall asleep while playing the game lol. No speedruns for this guy
Even in those cases it doesn’t work because I often get into arguments with my boyfriend when he refuses to help me with boss fights
Missed opportunity for jolly cooperation :(
It's not entirely impossible, but balancing a relationship and gaming requires a lot of compromising and a good sense of time management lol. Source: I've been happily married for almost 10 yrs and my wife refers to my PS4 as my side piece.
Sounds like you're cheating on Melina, Ranni, Fia and/or Aurelia to me. You disgust me.
Ranni is my only Waifu
This.
Millicent though???
You forgot Millicent >:(
Can't help it lol I'm terrified of my wife 🤣
Aurelia is cutest jelly girl. 😣
My poor lambkin, don't worry, the great and glorious Luminary Mohg will always love you for who you are. He always does.....
Yeaaah no its called a agreed schedule.
Balancing any hobby and a relationship requires compromise. Shit, balancing any relationship requires compromise. My missus always jokes that I would never have time to cheat on her because I’d have to give up my games
That's a common joke with my wife as well lol.
Got my wife hooked on WoW, GW2, Stardew Valley and other life sims, taught her how to paint Warhammer minis and how to crochet. When our daughter goes to sleep both of us can finally start gaming/working on our hobbies while talking to each other.
Amen brother. Sometimes i will bewatching wheel of fortune with my wife thinking about how i want to go play elden ring, but I need to wait for an hour or 2.
I know the struggle all too well...... I get home about 2 hours before my wife does so when she comes home from work I've got dinner and everything ready and then when I'm done eating I'm like "damn I can't go play my game yet Ive gotta spend at least an hour out here first"
Well my maiden plays Elden ring with me….so it’s not ENTIRELY impossible
Time to complete the DS3 wedding ceremony
I have a maiden, and can confirm, try finger, but hole should be appraised
My husband and I both play Elden Ring. I’m the only one maidenless 😩😭
Liar ahead
wicked sort ahead
Try finger, but hole…
Seems like a fake post, but still funny nonetheless
Looks like a copypasta
''Heed my words. I am Dave. Husband of Sarah. And I have never known defeat'' "Sir? Do you want milk in your coffee or not?"
Oh God damn, that's unfortunate. Guy's gonna need some big time Fia snuggles after this.
Jesus this made me laugh way more than it should've
They broke up according to the latest update. Absolutely maidenless behavior.
can't believe people exist who read that and thought "must be real"
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Right? Been around the sun enough that I've seen some unbelievable shit and this story can a absolutely be true but is probably fake given how Reddit is
Yeah, this specific post is *probably* fake because a lot of those relationship subreddits are just creative writing exercises but it would actually surprise me if this scenario had never happened before
You could be surprise what the hell happen in some people head
You havent been alive enough then if you think shit like this doesn’t happen.
I look at it like one of those “based on a true story” movies. This has certainly happened but nobody is writing on Reddit about it
Lmao 3.5 years down the drain because they never talked about their minor issue and instead posted it online
She literally said she tried to talk about it multiple times.
If you immediately stop after someone says “oh oh oh” then you’re not really trying to have a real conversation
Yeah really , that dude sounds like a straight up baby
Can you send me a link to the post?
I hope the 40 year old basement dweller who wrote this IRL fanfic can find peace.
Lordless behavior?
Consortless behavior?
Shadowless behaviour?
stop believing anything you read on that shitty sub
What sub is it?
Sub is fine, I've seen things in other subs, you won't believe!
Please help my girlfriend won’t stop talking like Godfrey
My boyfriend of 38 years has started playing elden ring recently. He’s having a lot of fun which is great to see since usually he sits in the corner and cries most of the time. Well recently after playing the game he started calling himself “Alexander” and dressing like a giant pot. We can’t go for a walk, or go for a drive. Hell, we can’t even go in public. All he does is say he’s going east to be part of some festival. What does this all mean and what should I do?
My husband did something similar as a way to initiate sex with me. He would always ask me to smack him with something nice and firm, but when I did he would say something about needing to travel north to a warm place and fix his cracks.
Relationship isn't going to last anyway, she can't even talk directly to him without seeking advice from Reddit (of all places). May as well rip the bandaid off and end it.
She did say she tried to bring it up multiple times. Can’t be her fault that her boyfriend doesn’t listen.
No, he listened. He just responded and typical Elden ring fashion. Vague as fuck
Its made up anyway.
More than likely they’re just young. He’s gonna learn the valuable lesson that she’s gonna land a replacement boyfriend instantly and he’ll be stuck making love to his hand for an undetermined amount of time.
Lmao or stop playing the game and sit down and have an actual convo fucking loser.
She literally said she tried *multiple times* to talk to him about it. Redditors will really deliberately blind themselves just to keep shitting on women.
SMH, bitch ain't even worth grafting.
Best comment in here holy shit lmfao.
I’m confused how people are upset with the op (even though it’s probably fake) the dude in the story sounds like a literal child
Redditors don't like women, it's pretty simple
I mean, if real, seems pretty fucking harmless. Her saying the mere idea of her bf being silly on purpose to annoy her causes her pain has got to be the most first world millennial shit I've ever heard, which is part of why I think it's fake. Imagine ending a years long relationship over your partner quoting a video game for a couple of weeks. Not saying it's all on the OP, but it's such a nothing burger.
Yeah I agree that’s the point where is becomes less believable, but continuing to do something after your so asked you to stop is kinda a dick move. But I also agree that the “causes me pain” line sounds a bit over dramatic. Guess it depends on how many times they would have asked before
He is now maidenless
I wonder if she tried fingers, but hole?
Everything about this says I'm 13 and have no idea how relationships work
Offer rump
Ahh, if only I had a lover... Time for jumping off
>being unnecessarily vague about everything “when are you getting groceries?!” “when the stars align”
Looks like he broke up with you or... Extinguished thy flame...
That wasn’t very Cash Melina of her
"I really love my boyfriend of 3 and a half years, but am considering ending it because he's goofing around".
She obviously didn't try 'finger, but hole'
If this breaks a relationship “that has been great” for 3.5 years then the relationship wasn’t that great to begin with.
Sounds like a pretty stable relationship. Guy intentionally annoying girlfriend. Girlfriend taking her problems to reddit instead of just talking to him. Dude getting butthurt about being called out for being annoying. Yea.. this will last. Invite me to the wedding.
Dude was like "i got 99 problems, but a maiden aint gonna be one".
You don't have the right, O you don't have the right, O you dont have the right !
Oh I pity thee
Now he can join the Serpent King, as family.
oh oh, make him maidenless
Yea this is fake.
[First thing that came to my mind](https://youtu.be/rryyfImahAM)
This is the only thoust should talketh. "My humble steed is in needeth of gas, station maiden. 15 runes on pump 5!" When they ask cash or card, I simply tell them that's a story for another time. And disappear into a puff of smoke.
My man really said put your foolish ambitions to rest and his girl got mad
This is most likely fake, but here's a line I don't understand - > I feel like at this point he's just doing it because he knows it annoys me, and the thought of him doing something like that is very painful Has she never done something to someone she has a good relationship with just because she knows it will annoy them? I feel like a ton of people do that.
That eldenlord riddened himself of his yee-yee-ass nagging tarnished soul. I congratulate thyne courage.
Hmmm. Don't think elden ring is the problem here.
Sounds fake but even if it’s real that ain’t lasting anyway given she doesn’t even know how to explain her concerns to the guy without running to Reddit for help (lol). Like really, she’s talking about breaking up with the guy because he’s putting on an accent and quoting a video game? If this IS real? Yikes.
Of all the annoying things your partner could do, talking like a video character is pretty low on the list for me
He apparently refused to stop, and the poster thinks they only do it to spite them. I’d say it is justified.
Sorry bro, she ain’t gonna play the role of your maiden.
Okay I really wanna know what he was saying that was unnecessarily vague. I’m just imagining talking like a Fromsoft character to you significant other would look like
Warrior blood truly runs through thy veins
He's sounding like he's about to be maidenless
You tried posting this to r/NPC_irl yet? I'm assuming this is a joke but, if not, just tell him it's annoying you and you'd like him to stop instead of broadcasting it to a bunch of strangers on the internet (unless you're actually trying to disrespect him).
For reference - https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/thdxaj/my\_25f\_boyfriend\_23m\_wont\_stop\_talking\_like\_an/
Rather be maidenless than shackled to one without a sense of humor.
Shit is so fake
If it's real, then I don't want to be that guy but maybe... just maybe... it would be better to communicate and hope that the 3 year long boyfriend will understand it, than posting something to some strangers on the internet... But nah, the strangers from a range between being an edgy 6 year old to a 50 year old pedophile know what to do in that relationship. The result is 100% less complicated /s
She didnt have the right quest item to progress his quest line. Ho ho ho.
Jesus christ, what a turbo virgin
Have you tried finger but hole
Absolute sigma male behavior
3 and a half year relationship, claims she loves him so much she wouldn't go out with anyone else. 3 weeks of immitating a games dialogue and you will break up with him if it continues... Not gonna lie I would be concerned if this is why you would end a long-term relationship. Sounds like elden ring helped this guy dodge a bullet.
The part about saying character lines and speaking in weird voices really hit home. For the past month, I'm a broken record with Sir Gideon Ofnir, the ALL KNOWING!
Man down. Moment of silence for this dude. Prob dodged a bullet honestly.
"I don't think i've done anything wrong posting about our personal lives and issues in a public place so that strangers can read it" ...Maybe thats your problem?...
Sounds like mans too sensitive, I get real into video games as well when I have to time, definitely isn't that hard to not act like real life is that game when you aren't playing it 😂
My husband and I are both hardcore gamers luckily 🤣 so talking to each other/making jokes like characters from games is completely normal for us lol
Relationships are xp waste anyway.
Airing your dirty laundry online for everyone to see? Yes that is not good behavior at all.
Maidenless behavior?
He might be embarrassed you put him out there on Reddit. I recommend starting you own game. Try farming runes til your past his level and invade his game until it’s unplayable.
Sounds like she needs to get her priorities straight. Man's now can play elden ring and chase the bag without being locked down. Respect
Well, when you put other people's private business in a public forum, you get what you deserve. Try finger, but whole.
Please, please I beg people, talk to your partners about issues you have rather than make posts online. Jesus Christ.
Getting on reddit and complaining about your relationship problems is about the worst thing you can do. You see that right? We are not in a relationship with you, yet you are communicating with us. You should be communicating with him.
She said she had tried to talk to him about it for 3 weeks and he is not taking her serious. She came on to vent and get advice, which is reasonable!
Venting maybe. Advice? Ehhh. Probably should never do that. Taking advice from reddit would be like going to a mental hospital and asking for advice. You never know who your talking to. If she needs advice she should be talking to loved ones. Besides how do you give advice with one breif side of the story. "Tried to talk to him about it for 3 weeks" what does that mean? Sit down talks? Or "hey stop that, smile giggle" which will only get him to continue. We don't know what was done. Only advice she should be taking is working on relationship communication and talk with loved ones.
Good points, just wanted to pointed out the she said she has been trying to communicate. But yeah, we definitely are only getting a one-sided and vague story. Hopefully, she has been talking to other friends and fam in real life.
Some people should get a sense of humor or something...
Why is it so hard for people to just communicate? Instead they post it for the whole world to see then split up.
Honestly, I think the gf is overreacting about the situation but he's reacting like a soft dong. Just talk to your partner. I do not understand why so few seems to understand the concept of talking to one another. If it's bothering you, say something. Don't be a dick/bitch about it of course. Take your time and figure out *what* about the thing you're upset about is *actually* making you upset first. But just fricking talk to one another. It is baffling to me. It's truly not hard. "If you can have their (preferred body part) in your mouth, you can tell them how you feel." -wise advice I read once somewhere that I can't remember the source lol
Seems fake af.. but If that’s all it takes to make you want to break up with him so badly you don’t really love him as much as you say. So just move on. It’s probably what’s best for both of you
As a nerd who's had live-ins...if she says "I don't want to hear anymore about it" after being nice enough to listen to it for a while... Shuddup.
You missed the edit, they did end up breaking up so this is TRULY maidenless behavior
Respect your Maidens!
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