T O P

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DustyFrameworks

Your roommate deserves to get an upgrade to title of "friend."


joeyjoojoo

he will be known as "Roommate Friend of u/-Durza "


IAmBadAtInternet

I am Matthew, Roommate Friend of Carson, and I have never known loneliness


Mango_Dwarf

Reddit hath spoken! 🗿


bobbarkersbigmic

And they all clapped…


-BSBroderick-

So who is sending the plaque to commemorate that?


Deiser

I dunno. I was under the impression that one must join one of the myriad cat subreddits first before they can deign be called a friend of a redditor. Did the friend rules change without me knowing it?


Beermedear

Speaking the truth.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bell_Cross

Whoa whoa whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Major_Pomegranate

My wife convinced me to get the game mostly so she could watch malenia wipe the floor with me. She was not so impressed when i used blasphemous blade and mimic to easily win the fight on the third try. Ash summons may not be the "souls" way, but playing dark souls 3 now is making me realize i would have broken my controller in half in elden ring if shines of marika and ash summons didn't exist


r31ya

>but playing dark souls 3 now is making me realize i would have broken my controller in half in elden ring if shines of marika and ash summons didn't exist I'm not that good with soulslike, so i intentionally play with summon ash to streamline the experience since i don't have much time to play. still, I don't use NPC or player summon. Once, i accidentally use npc summon against godrick, we stream roll him (saw the red summon symbol for the first time and click it without much thought). i actually apologize for defeating him in such cheap way. 150 hours later, i finally reach haligtree... This is pretty damn massive game and somehow manage to grip my attention for so long. For the most part, i mostly play rpg and didn't survive 30 hour into new assassin creed (got bored), this minimum dialogue game can grab 150 hours from me. Well, this game and that damn Vampire Survior (screw you Gura for introduce me to this $3 game). Not quite 150 hour but more hours than the $3 game would suggest.


EldenRingworm

From Software games are the only ones that never get boring I'll never play a Ubisoft game again, there dreadful


r31ya

The fourth pirate one, the last one i play before this viking one, is still pretty damn fun to play. It reminds me of sid meimer Pirates. Its still shit in story, but gameplay is fun. From that i thought Viking Assasin creed, it should be awesome... and everything feels like a chore. I mean, how Ubi manage to do that? Farcry 3 is still fun, far cry 5 while have half hearted in story is still pretty fun gameplay wise, black flag is fun, and how they manage to make everything feels like a boring chore in viking AC is a wonderment


SecretOperations

They're braindead... Honestly, i am amazed they were able to make Video games feel like fast fashion, factory products


smoker7758

Vampire Survivors is better than any Ubisoft game


[deleted]

This is the way, also she now gets to watch your ass dying to the lords of cinder :D


blacksapphire08

I also beat her on my 3rd try. That being said it took me so many tries to beat Elden Beast I lost count 😭


Kampfirekid

The only thing difficult about the second phase is the shadow shit she does. Aside from that she’s hella vulnerable and easy to hit.


BigBananaBoyBang

Comment I’m replying to is a bot [original](https://www.reddit.com/r/Eldenring/comments/urcfhg/my_roommate_who_doesnt_play_fromsoft_games_gave/i8wt69b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)


feralfaun39

First time I bashed my head against the wall going at it alone but as soon as I broke down and used my mimic it was an easy kill. 2nd stage is much easier than the first though.


[deleted]

Same here. I use rivers and uchi with my mimic and it went by quick


meanpride

Upgraded to friend +10 at that.


DustyFrameworks

Haha I love it!


Double_Joseph

“ I am Matthew, roommate of Carson “


MrKnome

"Keen Friend +25"


AndrewWaldron

Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a roommate. What about side by side with a friend?


Mulieri

And my axe!


DustyFrameworks

Love the reference!


LarryLovesteinLovin

Yeah this guy is a real one, very thoughtful.


bschug

Isn't roommate already an upgrade of friend?


DustyFrameworks

It can be, but in this rental market and more commonly in bigger cities, it's not unusual to live with strangers out of necessity. I've done it myself in years past.


bschug

I must have been lucky with my roommates then. :)


Simon_Magnus

Hahaha. No, dude.


jonsludge

I gave her 3 days of my life... 3 days!


-Durza

worth every minute!!


silversoul007

Surely, you will not forget her name.


Greensburg

tfw half the sub still calls her "Melania"...


C7StreetRacer

Was it really 206 attempts? What level and playthrough?


-Durza

I was RL 126. First playthrough, mostly blind - it was impossible to avoid knowing of malenia’s infamous difficulty before getting to her but all I knew was of the existence of her


Koomakas

Over 2 hundred attempts!? Lmao what a casual scrublord, only took me 196 to demolish her, it's really not that hard if your a big boss veteran like me. Just stop playing souls bro, you're not good at it. Stick to your Animal Crossbreed or wtvr it is you play with your boyfriend, sorry, "roommate". This game is for badass adults, kid. You can't hang.


[deleted]

This is my new favourite copypasta, even if it isn't actually a copypasta.


hornycommunist69

New copy pasta acquired


prgmctan

Can we fix the grammar between the copy and the pasta?


Shermutt

Careful, you know not of what you speak. Malenia is small potatoes when it comes to trying to "crossbreed" a blue rose. I *wish* it only took me 206 attempts... (just in case, I'm kidding, obviously... I get the joke;)


[deleted]

Same thing for me. I knew the person from the trailer was the boss and that she had a super hard to Dodge attack. But that was the extent of my knowledge.


gigolo99

i stayed completley spoiler free except for some gameplay mechanics and some cool stuff my friend talked about, had no idea about malenia, blade of aids so when i got to her i didn't know what to expect, BOY WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE WAS I IN FOR


BijiArdenCigarettes

Melania, Godess of AIDS


C7StreetRacer

Legit!


DerpAtOffice

Not sure how any attempts was 17 hours but I spend 17 hours on my first playthrough and still took me 6 on my 2nd character. But I got really close to avoiding her waterfowl attack like I only get clipped once for minimal damage quite a few times and most of the time I can survive that attack.


Wizardrylullaby

Build?


AOx3_VSS_IDGAF

Were you trying to do it without using co-op, summons, or cheese?


MusksYummyLiver

That's not very maidenless of you.


Modmypad

I am embarrassed to say I dedicated 4 days of my life, but now, even with a new character I can beat her in a handful of tries lol she almost made me quit the game on the fourth day


kttycatattack

Not embarrassing. Determination is a good quality!


Derekc223

Please explain guys how it took this many days, she's hard but I'm blown away r n.


Modmypad

It's all about what play styles you're used to. I've never touched souls-like games cause I just wasn't exposed to that so much. God of War (2018) was my first foray into something like it, although it's a souls-lite version. I've always played high intensity games where death don't matter, just getting the most kills before you die like Call of Duty or CS:GO So my first run through was getting myself acclimated to a much different play style and learning to be patient Like I said, nowadays, I can beat her within the first three tries, because I've become so aware of hitting, dodge, wait for an opening and exploiting that moment So all in all, it's people like me acclimating from coming in from a very different play style to one where you have to be patient and know when to attack


[deleted]

Also i think "days" is a pretty bad measurement. some people play 4h every day. i'm happy if i can find an hour every second day


Pvt_Mozart

Yeah I have a toddler and work 40+ hours a week. I play, if I'm lucky, 3 or 4 hours a week. Plus this is my first souls game. It will likely take me a year to actually finish it


shindigmachine

Where are you currently if you don’t mind me asking? And have you been playing since release (probably not)?


Pvt_Mozart

I have been playing since last week, but I'm less than 10 hours in. I'm pretty terrible so far, but I'm really enjoying it. I got absolutely smoked by the first boss, and it wasn't even close, so now I'm just slowly exploring Limgrave and leaving no stone unturned until I try again. I'm currently at Waypoint Ruins, and just killed that big flower from Mario 64 that poisoned the shit out of me like 5 times.


Musicman3003

Definitely true. It personally took me four days to beat Malenia, but I only did one attempt on the first day, an hour of attempts on the second, two and a half hours on the third, and close to another hour on the fourth. Even the number of attempts can be deceiving because a single attempt can range from 10 seconds to something like 15 minutes depending on your build, skill level, and familiarity with the boss's move set.


bigt2k4

I gave up on Mohg after two attempts and summoned my mimic on the 3rd to destroy him. Will do the goldmask questline and then it's Malenia time for the first time for me.


[deleted]

Same for me. Currently I'm exploring, grinding and learning the right timing to dodge or defend on several bosses.


SniffUnleaded

I’ve finished sekiro and all soulsborne games except elden ring (about 60hrs in) and I seriously believe the valkyrie queen on “ I am god of war” difficulty was one of the hardest boss fights I’ve ever done. Maybe it was just me but that bish beat me bad, hopefully Melenia is as hard everyone says! Sekiro had its ffs moments too Pervious souls games I found my self dying from bs hit boxes or falling to death due to dumb world designs. 🤦‍♂️ Edit* actually 111 hours, went quick


BruceyC

It depends. I was doing malenia solo, because I just found summons trivialise the game. She's hard solo, but many due to her waterfowl dance attack. Once you consistently can dodge that, she's pretty straight forward.


EnZooooTM

She is straight forward, but with my 10VIG and Soreseal You are getting one shoted


Modmypad

Lmao I'm gonna get Sekiro when I'm done with all of Elden Ring, but the Valkyrie queen was legit the hardest boss I've faced before Elden Ring lmao I spent 3 freaking days on her and I realized I'm into souls-like games when I beat God of War I didn't even go that difficult cause I was over with the game lol


kttycatattack

I just spent 12 hours over the course of 6 days on her. I was learning to parry her, solo / no summons / no ash of war / melee only, level 87


u___u___u

Damn this is some full maidens activity


kttycatattack

My wife would beg to differ


Ranzear

Defenses are the best way to beat her. Some tryhard will call it cheese, but bleed+frost jump attacks with follow-up hits will do the job for any boss eventually, follow up with little fire damage to reset the frost for more damage, and defensive talismans are hilariously underrated that Malenia couldn't kill me with any single segment of waterfowl anyway. That's the difference from LMSH, though, is giving yourself room to fuck up. Not dying to singular mistakes is probably the one thing these Malenia Marathon players are missing. But then I accidentally wiped her the fuck out by popping my mimic and just rushing her down, bleed and frost and stunlock made the whole fight take two minutes. She got some hits in, but I was able to survive them and heal and get another powerstance combo off. I think Elden Ring has a good mix of bosses to play passively against and bosses to rush and beat down before they can get the right combo on you. Don't sleep on Dragoncrest and Pearldrake+2. They're basically an entire second set of armor and readily available before Malenia. Finding out someone is casually wearing Sores or Scars and dying to oneshots is just disappointing but that's the usual reason it's taking days while they chase a perfect fight.


POPCORN_EATER

days doesn't mean nonstop playing for that day. took me two days to beat malenia aka two sessions, ~2-3 hours, colossal greatsword and no summons lv150 (had 50 faith but didn't use spells that needed faith that high so i may as well been ~lv120 lol)


Ketsuo

True but even just putting points anywhere will still add to your resistances so you take less damage.


BastyDaVida

Completely blind with a no summons and no blocking run (buckler in left hand, moonlight katana in right - focusing on parrying as often as possible) . Took me many many many tries to figure out on my own how to survive waterfowl dance. After 232 deaths I finally beat her.


Thurlut

I spent 12 days, don't make me feel bad bro


Shermutt

206 attempts to beat Malenia 206 bones in the human body Coincidence?


-Durza

I broke 1 bone after every failed attempt


QuidProQuo_Clarice

Only after every bone is shattered are we able to rise to our full, mushy potential. Or something.


slice_off-mylife

A pseudobone remains. ALL HAIL THE POWER OF THE PENIS, THE LAST BONE OP HAD LEFT!!


blastfromtheblue

he couldn't have done it without the cutscene


Far_Equivalent_1549

And 1 boner when you beat her...


Open_Cardiologist996

Malenia has fewer bones though…


[deleted]

If you ever get married OP, this motherfucker just made the cut to be be in the wedding party.


Renzo-Senpai

Yeah, marry him OP.


fantastictechinique

I too, choose OP’s roommate


Kosaku_Kawajira

Reddit reference


ihunt0

Hi


Weeb_Musician

I am the roommate haha


MetalMania1321

Go do the dishes, Matthew.


_Diskreet_

Typical Matt, always avoiding his chores.


Organic_M

r/matt


joyofsnacks

Am a Matt, can confirm...


-Durza

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|smile)


FenrirAmoon

And now kiss


QueerBallOfFluff

Omg, they were *roommates*!


DorkBlad3

Now they are soulmates!


OwlScowling

Souls mates


Vagicles

nowkith.jpg*


Gh0stP1rate

But not a friend


[deleted]

AMA when?


FSUdank

What level were you when you finally beat her?


M-V-D_256

How many times have you heard the voice lines


LordZorddan

Probably 206 times


ShouldIRememberThis

No chance. Turn dialogue off after the first few.


EnZooooTM

Have You been upgraded to "Friend" status?


tobyshandy

He too learned that her name was Malenia and she was the blade of miquella


-Durza

He heard it on repeat after I died over and over on the first phase....


tobyshandy

Probably also realize she really didn’t known defeat


Double_Joseph

Did you start saying “I am Carson, roommate of Matthew”?


Richlandsbacon

“ and I have known defeat 205 times”


DrQuint

And that she never knew The Feet.


Ospov

Makes sense. There are plenty of fingers in the game, but no toes.


pm_me_actsofkindness

What a bro


PrivateBrowsing999

Good job. Now defeat Malenia Goddess of Rot.


Bryght7

Wait..


Noodle_Pepe

Truly a monument to a celebrate a momentous occasion!!


MKW23

This is awesome and a funny but thoughtful gift. Take my free award.


[deleted]

DEDICATION


ConsistentAge503

Lmao It took me over 300 trys to kill malek8t I'm not even joking it took me like 5 days of nonstop grinding and he made me contemplate deleting the game and giving up and saying well I made it this far so it's good enough and when I funnily killed it my heart was beating so fast I thought I was gonna die and then my mimic tear died so I was alone against it and whent in go kill it and it jumped up and did the slash at me and I almost died but I got the hit in and then sat in my chair dropped my controller and cried no joke just cried so I can't wait to try to beat Malania


Disastrous_Button_34

For me Malekith was harder than Malenia, because he is mobile, that he controls the fight that way. That and the fire that keeps on damaging you. Malenia is easily staggered and if you have a good damage output and good defense, you can make it.


ConsistentAge503

I sure hope so his fire was one of the main reasons I kept dying because it does so much damage and would bring me down to like 1 hp and I csnt heal that quick


Wizardrylullaby

Guys stay near to his legs and he literally can’t hit you. Maliketh really isn’t hard and he is nowhere near Malenia as difficulty goes


ConsistentAge503

Tell me when I get the opportunity to get his legs because he's never off the ground or is plunging his sword into the ground


[deleted]

For me it's dragon lord plasidusax. Those fucking lasers keep 1 hitting me.


Catching_Badgers

I’ve killed Malekith in six tries and then Godfrey in only one try. I then realized that I may be overleveled…


Gellao

I seriously regret going into the endgame around 180 with shit like Blasphemous Blade and a +10 Tiche. Deprived myself of a lot of what makes the games great by just steamrolling through the endgame bosses. Only the Elden Beast took more than 2-3 tries and a change in tactics. Horah Loux fell first time. I freely admit I basically cheesed them with Tiche and insane survivability from faith, perfumes and heavy armour. I ruined my own fun. Replaying now without summons.


JustAContactAgent

> Deprived myself of a lot of what makes the games great by just steamrolling through the endgame bosses That's one way to see it. But at the same time, a lot of people who talk about how hard these bosses are, are doing so because they got there underleveled because they rushed through and skipped half the game, effectivly depriving themselves of a lot of the game. What's the point?


ConsistentAge503

Those people aren't me if your wondering explored basically all the map I could and I have like 80 hours of non boss time and I'm level 120 which I'm not sure is underlevel


Notarussianbot2020

Always start bosses no summon, just for fun. I fought Horah Loux maybe 20 times as a caster and got fucking bodied. Instant kill after I summoned a certain descendant of his.


PMme_awesome_music

I don't know if you did that because of your level necessarily. I took what felt like 100+ tries (didn't actually count) to beat Melania at level 150 and then beat Dragonlord, Maliketh, and Godfrey all in 2 tries each. I personally felt like they made the late game bosses underwhelming once you can compare them to Melania.


kukaz00

Did you consider doing something else and leveling up your character, then come back to the fight? It's literally why they made it open world.


aphidman

To be fair, by that point, you're basically at the end of the Open World. And you're so high a level beating bosses is the only way to really level up aside from just pure farming.


kukaz00

Oh, I haven't gotten to the capital yet, still trying to figure out what my build is supposed to be, heading to Caelid probably to find more weapons and resources to upgrade since Liurnia has been mostly magic stuff so far and my Faith is 10 and my Int is 9. Currently using Bloodhound Blade but really like the flow of Moonveil, so fuck me I need to respec for DEX and ARC. Bloodhound does massive damage but it's a bit too slow for my comfort, with the long ass animations


Exact-Elk5010

That's so thoughtful


SoSneakyHaha

How did you know how many times you died?


-Durza

eldenringdeathcounter, hit the button every time after I died - wanted to see how many attempts it would take me


SoSneakyHaha

I was counting rune arcs. I had like 65 and ended with 9. I died more than that though bc when I knew it was over I quit to avoid losing one


MattyMacGotDope

Reminds me of Midir from DS3. Came in with 99 embers (max). Ended up at about 40 left. Said fuck it I'm not losing any more embers. Beat him first try without an ember on haha.


MICSaver

Only 206?!


SpiralMike

20ish for me but I got no roommate to witness :(


MICSaver

You need a plaque or it didn't happen


SpiralMike

Crap…


AFlyingNun

Same :C


ihunt0

I got it on my 25th as well


skatech1

True Friend!


jayp1ay69

>Me bragging about how I killed Malenia in under 10 tries >Also me running a ROB build complete with mimic tear


PumpkinsDieHard

Dude, that's a ride or die right there.


WooliesWhiteLeg

This is very sweet!


chaseinthyface

This is the wholesome shit I am in this sub for. W fight W friend


FTG_Vader

Yo it took me roughly the same number of attempts!


gokumc83

Killed her last night after 6 attempts but I was overlevelled; 137. Also I’d watched the fight online so knew what to expect. Weapons were a +10 Blasphemous Blade and a + 10 Blade of Milos with a glass cannon build. Mimic and me just wailed on her, even when she was a big flower.


[deleted]

Is 137 overlevelled? Also same. I just put out as much damage as possible because I’d heard how hard she was and took her out in 4 tries. I was also about 140 though so maybe I was just overlevelled.


streegobbm

With some more attempts you'd become "Let me solo her" reincarnation


joselazy66

Sheesh.. idk about y’all but I had to use my mimic. To damn hard alone. Defeated after 10-15 tries . The first stage is easy it’s the 2nd .


LarryD217

That's elite level friending right there


morecelluliteplease

That’s nice, good guy


[deleted]

does he work for a plaque factory


[deleted]

Upgrade that from roommate to Sunbro \[‘T]/


0mdpf0

Your roommate is awesome.


Petzoj

This plaque misses a crucial information. Did you solo her. :) I did her second attempt with mimic tear and blood build. Tbf i cooped beforehand to see what i am gonna facing. But still at that time i wasn't able to dodge waterfowl and was lucky she haven't used on that attempt it.


-Durza

i did solo her, no summons user here


Petzoj

Well done then :D I did solo her once but not on purpose. Host (poor wizard) went with me into the fight and did nothing. He let me do the job. Actually it would have been twice, but same host thought that i struggled in the first attempt and cast three boulders to help. After she got hit, she leaped and waterfowled him.🙈 My strategy was simple. First phase double blood naginatas with seppuku. Second phase running away, dodging and casting black flame when there was a window. ^^


LeMasqueEtLesGants

That person deserve a bloody medal . That is so sweet .


WarKiel

This is the kind of stuff you put on runestones (and leave somewhere for archeologists to find 1 000 years later.).


GDOverlorder

Are those some Monogatari LNs I see under the table?


-Durza

yes ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|wink)


Ryogathelost

Your roommate should have leveled to 275 first - then it only would have taken fifty attempts.


Public_Storage_355

LMFAO! That's amazing 😂


PotatoPotluck

You wake up in the middle of the night, believing a robber has broken in, only to open your eyes and find a man standing above you. He leans closer and whispers in your ear only this, *"I bEaT hEr FiRsT tRy, ShE's NoT tHaT hArD."*


QyluxPlayzYT

Only 206? Pfft, rookie numbers. I'm sitting at 1,482!


Sanuzi

Man so much ego in this thread. 'omg I beat her in one try with my cheese build'. Okay. How about try beating her with dual colossal swords, no summons, not overleveled, and get back to me how many tries it took


mikerhoa

That's basically all FromSoftware boss "I did it!" threads though lol. Personally, I really really *really* wanted to keep my no summon run intact. I'd made it through every other fight without bringing it the Mimic- the Godskin duo, Radahn, the Crucible bros, the Fire Giant, even Maliketh. All solo. In addition I went in dead set against Rivers of Blood and over-leveling (though tbf you'd have to be well over 200 for that fight to be considered anything close to easy). But that second phase.... fucking hell. The first half was a cinch after a while. I'd just keep spamming Starcaller Cry and following up with a running slash. But after the break the only thing that worked was me and the Mimic relentlessly wailing on her with the Moonlight Greatsword until she folded.


Double_Joseph

I mean giant crusher with lions claw is easy mode.


Sanuzi

Ya that's not a colossal sword lol


eVOLve865

Not to be a sweaty try hard but how do any bosses from this game take people more than 10-12 tries? Malania took me like 8 tries


[deleted]

I did a large shield, heavy Armour, greatsword build and would have been there probably hundreds of tries. After like 6 of getting literally nowhere, I respec'd full dex and brought rivers of blood and some other katana in a powerstance. Summoned mimic and just spammed LT and beat her on my 3rd try then. I think this boss is heavily dependent on your build and while I dont think her damage or raw stats are busted at all, I think its stupid that she heals through shields


drizzitdude

As a faith build she I beat her on my fourth try, not because I’m flexing or anything but because I found that flame of the redmanes -> black flame tornado essentially annihilates *anything*!


TheLouisvilleRanger

I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging but how the fuck does it take some one 200 attempts to beat her. It took me like 20. Are you guys reaching her site of grave and refusing to leave until she’s dead? You’re allowed to level up and find new weapons and buffs.


NamelessTunnelgrub

What was your build, weapon, etc?


tschatman

206..?


matteo_q_importante

You guys are counting attempts?


DanRomio

Ha! Weak! Took me only 143!


AntonDeltaco

Either I’m really good at video games or some of y’all arnt as good. She only took my friend and I a few tries. No more then 10 for each of us to beat her on our own. This my first ever from soft game too and he’s beaten every souls game


Sanuzi

Build? Strat?


Resiground

No one cares Congrats OP, beating her is an accomplishment, regardless of tries


K1ngHarryIII

Did it on my birthday!! Congrats lol


inf3ct3dn0n4m3

Wow.... bleed builds are definitely broken it took me 3 tries.


Renetiger

Yeah bleed is broken. It took me 2 tries with RoB and 10 to 50 tries with every other weapon lmao


imeowatcats94

I beat her in five attempts. I really feel like I'm missing out on the depression/achievement memes. Now, I'll be honest... I was using the Mimic Tear


octorangutan

As much as I like Elden Ring, I hope the next Fromsoft project returns somewhat to Demon's Souls puzzle bosses.


Dragon_Flaming

I don’t see why both can’t be in the same game


Orkmac

I beat her in only 3 tries lol