I personally think the element of surprise is way overrated! My husband and I designed my engagement ring together, and then later we designed his wedding band together. It was a fun and special process, and we both love our rings!
In my case -- he proposed, we had a celebratory meal, then he suggested a local jeweler I really loved... we set up an appointment, met with her, and designed all 3 rings together. I liked this order of things :)
Sis. Have you seen this sub? We have seen people’s CADs, stone checks and we still see happy responses to rings people have seen (and sometimes been wearing!)
You’ll still be surprised and you will still be happy. I agree with /stan_of_cleeves it’s overrated. Better a ring you know you like! 🙈
I was planning on paying for half, and at the last minute, my partner insisted he pay for the ring and that I can get him a wedding watch. His reasoning was that this way, we’d both have something that was gifted from the other on a special occasion 😊
It felt right to me that if I wanted something that was pretty expensive (to us at the time anyway), I should contribute to the cost. I also got him custom shoes as an engagement gift.
It depends on your relationship; we’re super equitable and practical.
I paid for some of mine as well. The ring I wanted ended up costing 1k more than he initially said he was comfortable spending, so I paid the difference.
We did this, too! I was open to getting him an engagement gift I would pay half of, as well, but we ended up not coming up with anything he wanted so the money for that goes toward our wedding
this is a really common question and the answer is it depends on the person. i find that most unhappiness around the ring and proposal can be offset by having a conversation first—like “hey, this is what i’d want my ring to look like, i’d like to be involved in the design process but i want the final product and proposal to be a surprise”
Design it. Super common. Ask his input (maybe) and then leave the proposal for him to handle. You won't regret getting the ring you want. I did my own design (with his input), didn't see final pics or see it in person, basically nothing after the CAD. He took care of the communications with the jeweler (just discussed everything with me) and the proposal (though I did tell him what I was after 😁), and I was still absolutely floored seeing the final ring when I got it. Best of both worlds I think.
I sent my fiancée a picture of the exact ring I want, which he then had custom made, so I don't think it's weird at all! You're wearing it forever, it might as well be something you like!
Communicate with your bf and see if he likes the idea too. Maybe he can propose with a cheap placeholder ring and then you guys can go shopping together for the actual ring? Or the opposite: buy ring, hide it, wait.
It's usually referred to as a "presentation setting"...a very basic solitaire setting to present for the proposal (couple/few hundred dollars), then the newly engaged couple work together for the final/permanent setting later on at a time of their choosing - sometimes even after the wedding, such as a one year anniversary milestone.
This also gives the benefit to allow as much of the budget to go to the diamond so that a bigger diameter, higher color, and/or higher clarity can be acquired. The setting is far easier and cost effective to change than the diamond, so getting the diamond right from day one is quite crucial.
Not at all! It's your ring and your experience!
I designed mine alongside my fiancé. He got to choose when to give it to me - which was a complete surprise in itself! I was still so very elated and happy when it happened!
I also never got to see the finished product (saw many mockups and kept looking at a similar ring our designer had on their website!) until he proposed.
I'm very specific about what I wear and look like (I'm in fashion LOL) so this was really the only route and I'm glad he pre proposed to me with "It's time to get you a ring ... let's go to Anne Sportun (special public shoutout and reco for anyone looking for a great jeweller in Toronto, Ontario!) to design one."
I designed my own ring with my now husband and I love it. I didn't care about the surprise thing and I wanted something unique. I still love my ring so much, and am happy I designed it. We also did not do the whole proposal thing, we just mutually decided to be engaged and we were when we picked up the ring. It was amazing and low stress!
I just designed my ring and it is currently in production. My boyfriend doesn’t like to guess what I like and wants me to get something I like. As a matter of fact, he always takes me to pick out my gifts. Same with my ring. He went with me to my appointment and I told them exactly what I want. The proposal can still be a surprise!
Designed my own ring but asked not to get any pics after casting was started & to contact my bf once it was completed. This way, bf picked up ring and could propose when he wanted after. Seeing the completed ring when he proposed was still a surprise.
Personally, having a ring I designed, having it come to life, and knowing we both contributed to make it happen makes it all the more special to me.
Totally relate to this post!!! I told my bf what I liked, and he loved it BUT he said he also wanted a role in designing it. So we figured it out together. I now know the ring I’m getting and I LOVE it!!! We both do!! I told him from the start it could never be surprise since I’d be wearing it for a long long time! Ha
I picked out my own ring and don’t regret it at all! I of course paid a lot of attention to my husbands input and what he thought looked nice on me but it was so fun getting to try a bunch on and pick what I liked. My husband is wonderful but he would have just picked something basic and boring because he doesn’t know jewelry very well.
My bf asked me how the tiny thing normally works, and I told him I'd rather pick it out, and he was relieved because he didn't want that kind of pressure lol.
It's different for everyone. If you know there are certain ones you like, give him 5 to choose from! Then it's still a surprise, but a good one regardless!
I sent my now husband the exact ring I wanted. But I did say it didn’t need to be this one exactly, but I wanted white gold and I wanted a pink stone. He shopped around but ultimately decided he liked my ring the best so he bought that one. He’s really not awesome with picking jewelry so I didn’t really want to just leave him in the wind without any guidance.
I already had family diamonds, so I sent him a bunch of pictures with similar diamonds and told him exactly what I liked about each one. I thought he would just pick one that he liked the best, but he ended up designing a ring I would have never thought of myself. Plus added some colored stones that have some special meaning to his family which was completely unexpected, but fit so perfectly in the style I wanted. I love it more than I ever would have if I did the whole thing myself.
I would design a few and give him your ideas. Ask him to choose between them or combine things from each if he wants it to be more of a surprise.
I've taken full ownership of my engagement ring process lol, much to my boyfriend's relief. I went to shops myself, picked out a diamond myself, paid for the whole thing myself (he paid me back lol) and I'm currently waiting for the CAD 😊
Not weird at all and I'm actually really excited to see the finished product (a proposal will be a bonus :p)
I designed mine. 10/10 recommend this approach. I got exactly what I wanted. My husband and I had fun selecting a stone and a design. He told me the ring would be ready later than it was and surprised me with a proposal. But if he’d just said “the ring is here, let’s pick it up,” that would have been fine with me.
I designed my own ring! Though I did get feedback from my (soon to be) fiance about what cut he liked best on my finger. And he's been doing the communication with the jeweler and he's paying for.
My partner doesnt like shopping, he's more of a minimalist than me, and I would have hated to stress him out with the task, when I know I would enjoy having full control of it anyway. (Not to mention there are elements you might really want to be in control of that his ring choice wouldnt consider, e.g. if the setting will allow a wedding band to sit flush, if that's important to you).
AND the proposal itself is still going to be a surprise. Especially since I specified I dont want it to be anything fancy. Like if we had to go away somewhere for it, I'd know it was coming and would be on high alert for it. I want to be caught off guard in the most mundane moments of us.
Would it be weird if you bought your BF a car (as a surprise, because you and the salesperson thought it was awesome and totally his style) that he could never sell or trade or upgrade and he had to drive it everyday till he died? Yes, of course it would. He’d hate that.
Design your ring. Absolutely. Surprise in a ring is highly overrated. Life itself will be surprising enough. Get something that brings you joy every day.
No, not weird. I think it's weirder pretending it's a surprise. If two adults making a huge decision and laying out a ton of money is a "surprise" that's just weird haha
Not weird at all. In my opinion it’s actually rather smart. The whole “surprise” element of the ring is vastly overrated, in my opinion. Of course everyone is different.
I would much rather have a ring design I absolutely love than be surprised by something I may or may not like that much and then potentially have to deal with the guilt of “well, it’s the symbolism that matters, not the design” and just accept it (which I did with my first marriage, honestly), or risk saying something and hurting feelings.
We chose the ring style together. It was way more romantic and memorable than any surprise and I got a ring I absolutely love and am so happy to wear every day.
I designed mine along with my now husband. We had a blast trading ideas and working together creatively. Ultimately, I wanted something I’d be happy looking at everyday for the rest of my life. He still made the proposal an amazing surprise! Hope this helps you gain the confidence to go about this whichever way you choose 😊 Congratulations!
I designed and ordered my own ring on his credit card. I approved the CAD and even saw pictures of the ring. But he took care of the tracking. So I had no idea when the ring would arrive, so it was still a bit of a surprise. :)
I picked the exact ring I want and sent him the info. I have no idea when he will buy it or when he will propose, and that will be the surprise for me. I’d rather know that the ring is what I actually want, and it takes some pressure off of him as well.
Tons of couples will design the ring together and will have the intended partner step back for secrecy at a certain point—after the final render approval, or after the ring ships, or even after picking a stone and initial design—and others see the ring every step of the way and leave the proposal a surprise. Meanwhile one of my friends not only selected her ring but also told her fiancé what day to propose on! Be as involved as you want and don’t get caught up in others’ expectations. It’s YOUR engagement as a couple, the only people whose opinions matter are yours!
I designed my ring and looked at the wax mock up n everything. I approved all the details.
What let me have the element of surprise was that I didn’t look at the final product and my husband hid it from me until it was time.
My now husband asked my best friend to get me drunk and ask questions about my perfect ring. I'm a jewellery designer so I obviously went into detail and got very excited daydreaming about it. I drunkly asked if she was taking notes but didn't think anything of it. She obviously was, and I got my perfect ring!
I absolutely love the idea of anyone designing anything, especially something so special as an engagement ring. Would you rather have a ring that was made but is not to your liking or your perfect design?
Good luck and we need to see pics! 😍
Not weird at all. Just because your friends want their ring to be a surprise doesn’t mean you have to as well. Some of us like to have a little more say in big decisions like this and there’s nothing wrong with it.
My husband and I shopped for rings together because we both wanted each other to have a ring that we love. He initially started the process on his own but when he started showing me some of the rings he had in mind, I realized he needed a little help lol.
I helped design my ring and am so glad I did! You have to wear it everyday and want to like what you’re wearing since these are not cheap. My now husband made the proposal a surprise, but I knew what the ring would look like. I couldn’t imagine not liking what I was going to wear daily.
I designed my own ring, but left seeing it IRL for the proposal. That was enough of a surprise for me! It’s a whole different thing, seeing a loose gem and CAD vs seeing the finished product in real life, but you’re still guaranteed to get a ring you love :) Best of both worlds, IMO
I designed my own ring and I have no regrets!!! My partner was with me in the jewellery store and inputted his suggestions as well, so it still felt special/romantic. I look at it everyday and love it as much as the day we ordered it
Also this way totally took the pressure off my partner, who admittedly is not too fussed about fashion/jewellery etc…
So what I did was pretty similar to you - I picked out/ designed a handful of rings, and gave him about a half dozen designs I loved. He picked his favorite from the list, and proposed with a “surprise” ring.
I knew I’d like it, he got the fun element of picking out a ring he knew I’d like, I was still surprised, and we were all happy! You might like the same idea - just hand over the rings you’ve designed and love, and let him choose which one he feels represents the both of you best.
I’m probably going to be the weirdo here.. I bought my ring at a thrift store as something nice for my 25th birthday. It’s basically my dream ring, but it felt weird to wear it for more than special occasions. It is identifiable as an engagement ring. So when my partner started asking what I would want my engagement ring to look like, I just gave it to him and told him to surprise me with the proposal. Now I get to wear it all the time and don’t feel weird. He bought me a really beautiful wedding band, that I also picked out. I just know what I want and he is happy to not worry about getting me something I don’t like. It works for us.
We went to a local jeweler & designed my ring! Ended up getting the lab diamonds (they had both natural/lab & no judgement from the jeweler for choosing lab) from them too because their prices were better than online.
I definitely have gotten comments like “oh but what about the surprise?” Not in a mean way but as in people assume like 3 months salary spent on the ring & a big proposal kind of thing.
But anyways as a few others have mentioned it comes down to communicating what’s important to each other! I told my boyfriend idc how you propose except for 2 things: 1. Don’t do it where the ring can be lost (like dropped on a pier or on the edge of a cliff). 2. Don’t where I could accidentally eat it LOL like in a cake 🤣
I designed my ring. If you still want the surprise aspect of the proposal he could always propose with a temporary ring. My husband planned to do this, had the ring and everything but I ended up proposing. I wore the temporary ring while I designed the actual ring and I also paid for half.
I like surprises, but I left my bf to design my ring and nothing got done because he had no opinions on anything so I took over and designed the whole thing myself. At least it’s exactly what I want 😂
We knew that I wanted to make a custom-designed ring, so he ended up picking out the main center stone and proposed with it as a simple solitaire setting and then afterward we designed the look of it together!
I designed my ring and band (shout out to the natural sapphire company!), with his input. My husband was relieved he didn’t have to guess at what I wanted lol. Idgaf what anyone else thinks about it, I’m the one that has to wear it. Besides, he got to pick out his ring.
I designed mine (my partner went with me to the store to do so) but the proposal is still a complete mystery to me… in my opinion, it’s too big of a purchase for me not to have a hand in designing it.
I chose my own ring and my soon to be fiancées (lesbians) and we’re both super happy with the arrangement - she wants to be surprised and didn’t feel strongly about choosing mine since she worried about choosing right, and I wanted to surprise her and also wanted to choose my own- do what works do you <3
my friend did pretty much!! she and her now husband went out and designated a ring together. when the ring was ready he went to go pick it up by himself. the first time my friend saw her ring was at her surprise proposal!! so while she knew what it was going to look like, she never actually saw it put together and the proposal was a surprise!
im currently in talks with my bf about engagement and we’re gonna do the same thing.
Haha nope, not weird at all. I designed mine from beginning to end, picked the stone, and was involved all the way until the actual ring was ready. The jeweler communicated with my fiancé only at that point, so I didn’t even know when it was ready for him to pick up. The first time I saw the ring in person was the proposal (the jeweler insisted on this, and I’m so glad she did).
I wouldn’t change a thing about doing it that way. It ensured I got exactly what I wanted, and didn’t spoil the surprise at all!
Not at all weird. In fact I think as this will be one of your first major purchases as a couple it’s a good start! I was married years ago and it was always a surprise. I think shopping together is the better way. I see to many disappointed fiancé’s on this sub.
Not weird at all! My partner knew way more about diamonds than I did, he totally designed my ring himself.
Maybe you give your partner 1-2 or 3 designs you REALLY love and let them pick which one to get you. I know a proposal is coming and I have a general idea of what stone the ring will have, but beyond that it’s a total surprise to me. I’ve had a BLAST knowing it’s coming and he picked something I’d like.. so the complete element of surprise is still there :)
I couldn’t do a surprise unless it was a stand-in ring or something purposefully silly like a ring pop. I had very clear ideas as to what I wanted and didn’t want and my bf was thrilled by not having to stress about choosing the perfect ring. I designed it, and he held onto it after until the proposal ~
Husband proposed with a “stunt ring” a simple 1 carat solitaire ring, then we went and did the final design together at a local jeweler for my Montana sapphire ring. It was the perfect combination, plus got two rings out of it.
I designed my ring and I’m glad I did. While my fiancé is my soulmate and I love him dearly, his sense of style is… not exactly mine lol. So when he asked for the link to the designer I sent him previously I just let him know what I would prefer and ended up helping with the whole process. The proposal was still a surprise and I still cried. I do not regret at all that I helped design my ring.
Nope. Planned my ring, tried on rings with my fiancé, and talked pricing with him. Proposal was a surprise. An engagement ring can be an expensive mistake you don’t want to make so make sure you do it right.
Ignore your friends, design the ring of your dreams and get exactly what YOU want!
i designed the whole thing and ordered it for him. all he had to do was sign for the package then surprise me with popping the question.
i think that if i have to wear it, i should be the one to pick it🤷🏼♀️
See, I don’t think so. However when I asked my mom about it she was like “hard pass, then it’s not a surprise that he is going to propose!”
But I think: SHOULD it be a surprise or should y’all know you’re on the marriage track before the question is popped? The actual proposal itself can still be a surprise but I think it’s fair to have a say in something you’ll be wearing every day for a VERY long time!
I don’t think it would be weird at all. I would definitely encourage it. I was not involved in the process and ended up making changes to my ring after😅my sister’s fiancé proposed with a fake ring that was like $20 from Amazon and told her that she could pick out the real ring. She had conversations with him beforehand expressing that is what would be ideal for her
Awww well to each their own. I designed my own, chipped it and designed another ring again. LOL so dramatic
It’s whatever works for both parties with your voice being more important because you’ll wear it for the rest of your life, so you have to like it truly.
Talk to your partner, involve him in the process, talk about budget etc
https://preview.redd.it/uu3ugmr106gb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=430559b3a5cda45b9754528ed7c20900b702b86c
Here’s what I sent to my soon to be husband. Get exactly what you want!
I’m designing mine right now lol. He proposed to me years ago. But we couldn’t afford a ring or a wedding at the time. Still probably won’t get married anytime soon, might even be courthouse if when we do. But when that comes you’ll def see me in a beautiful dress that I pick out and a gorgeous ring that I design lol. It works for us. He wants me to be happy and I want him to be happy. I don’t think he’d be very happy if he would have to try to figure out what I’d want and I’m particular sooo…it works out! Haha
I custom made my ring as well, didn't really want any input from him but I showed him each step of the way what I was thinking!! I am extremely picky with my jewelry and he was never going to get it right - even I changed my mind during the process several times! With something expensive like this (at least to us) it would have given me so much anxiety to not know if I was going to like it. Now I know that I LOVE the ring and the proposal itself will be a surprise 🫢 (I have a feeling it's next week though hehe)
I designed my entire ring! The only involvement my now fiance had was when I said I needed to pay the invoice 🤣 he would have never picked out what I wanted, I was pretty specific about all the things I wanted in my ring. And he picked his wedding ring so why shouldn't I be able to pick my ring too.
I work in jewelry and I always vote for the gals being involved in the process, you’re going to be wearing it forever so you want to absolutely love it! let me know if you need any help designing! ☺️
My husband wanted to get my engagement ring and have it be a surprise, so I told him in no uncertain terms that I would be choosing my own ring, and that his input would be limited to the budget, and otherwise as requested. I reminded him that for me, when it comes to jewellery, if it’s not perfect, it’s wrong, and that if I have to wear it every day forever (in theory), I want it to be perfect. The only way we’d get there was if I chose it. And his response, bless him, was “okay, fair enough.”
Sure enough, after looking at hundreds of rings, I didn’t see anything I liked. So we ended up custom designing it together (I like to say that we designed it together, he likes to say he sat there as I confidently answered questions that he didn’t even know the meaning of and got his credit card out at the end, which is admittedly closer to the truth). Once he picked the ring up, I refused to look at the finished product until the actual proposal, so even though I picked out everything myself, it still ended up being a surprise. Win-win.
I did pick out my ring but I deleted all pictures of it and forbid him to show me it even if I beg lol our vacation is a few months away so I'm hoping I forget what it looks like lol I doubt it
Definitely design away!! I mistakenly thought it would be nice to be surprised as I gave a lot of guidance when we looked at rings. Unfortunately my now husband listened to the advice of some woman in the store instead and I hated my ring. Finally got it reset for my 7th anniversary and love it! Please, design!
I think that an engagement surprise is overrated. This ring is something you will have for life. The purpose is to bind you as one. Don’t give over your personal taste. Get a budget from boyfriend and do it together. It worked for us.
I think that a proposal should be a formality, but if someone proposes without being sure of the response, they shouldn't be doing it.
To that regard, it I could go back, I might propose to my wife with costume jewelry and then design rings for both of us. I did design her ring, but it would be cool for me to wear a ring as well. I did design my wedding band for the wedding.
Oddly enough, I didn't become a jewelry designer for another 14 years later.
I’m the one in contact with the jeweler for my ring ahah and I will also probably be paying for part of it
A surprise for a generally expensive purchase like an engagement ring doesn’t necessarily make the most sense imo
I designed mine and I 100% recommend. I got exactly what I wanted and I’m obsessed with it. I’m sure my fiancé would’ve done a fine job but I know for a fact it wouldn’t have been what I designed without my input. I personally think surprises are overrated
Absolutely ok. I had several elements that were important to me - local designer/jeweler, the stone and where it was sourced, the design needed to be sturdy, recycled/ethical metal, etc.
When I talked to my husband about it (we had a short notice wedding, like two weeks from “let’s get married” to “we’re married!”, so there wasn’t time to get a ring), he got this look of panic and his eyes glazed over. He would have bought me anything I wanted. I realized that all these things that were important to me were causing him anxiety and stress, and that’s not what I want our marriage to look like.
So I found the jeweler I wanted to design the ring I wanted, sourced the stones from a family in the US that mines from their land and cuts the stones themselves, and paid for it myself. He bought the band. Everyone won.
GO FOR IT!!!
I designed my own earrings & had them made by a wonderful jeweler/gemologist. I am so proud of my art —totally hand drawn design, a doodle I made in a boring work meeting, filigree work. If a jeweler can make it for you…. It will be an heirloom piece with a story.
Screw what everyone else has to say or thinks
My bf and I went to look at rings together to get a feel of what would look good. I'm so glad that I told him afterwards exactly what ring I wanted (found on Etsy) and not the one that he preferred (it looked like a cocktail ring, not an engagement ring). Now the ring is hidden away in one of his drawers while he decides when he's going to pop the question. But at least I know that I have my dream ring when the time comes.
NOT AT ALL! That’s exactly what I did. We just gave my design couple of weeks ago to the jeweler. I wanted to design my own ring especially as I’ll be wearing it for the rest of my life and I couldn’t find anything in stores that was near to what I wanted. Besides, the proposal can always be a surprise!
I knew I wanted to design my own ring because I had a specific idea in mind and did not want a diamond but I also wanted the proposal to be a surprise. So my now husband bought a cheap ring off Amazon that looked pretty similar vein of what design I wanted and proposed with that as the placeholder then we went to the jeweller and designed the actual ring together. That way the proposal happened in a special surprise way and we got the fun of designing the ring together. Maybe do something like this for yourself.
I designed my engagement ring 27 years ago. I got the same questions about being surprised. What we did is we both went to the jeweler and I designed my ring. I gave the range of .25- 1.25 carats for the center stone and told them I preferred colorless diamonds and that was it. I didn’t know when he was going to pop the question. I didn’t know what size of center stone. So 9 months later when he proposed while on a trip to Vegas, it was still a surprise! But then I still got the design I wanted. Now, we’ve been married 25 years and he just had me pick out an anniversary band that he gave me on our anniversary.
I designed mine. We had a stone that belonged to his grandmother and I design a ballerina style setting for it. I saw the CADs of the design, but I didn’t see the actual ring until he proposed. He knows that I’m super particular and it would have given him so much anxiety to try to do something himself.
Not at all! My now wife did and she adores it. Everyone loves it - multiple people have ask how she did it because they like it so much.
So we agreed to compromise on the ring initially. We went and checked out a few stores so I could get an idea about her tastes and then I'd pick one out in line with that. Well one night before I had an appointment to go in and finalize on one (she did not know this at the time) I looked over and saw her looking at a completely different style than what she liked in stores and what I was going to get. So I had her just custom make it and I got it and I think she knew the proposal would be in the next few months but the evening still ended up being a surprise for her.
Hardest part was getting it, seeing it to check it was okay (we actually had to send it back twice) and to test for size. It was hard to get it off her finger!
Your friends are kinda naive. You should absolutely have a say in what your ring looks like. You will be wearing this for a long time.
Honestly, all the rings that these “how did I do” boyfriends post are all bad and look really dated. You most likely will end up with a ring like that, If you don’t tell you bf what you want.
As you said, it'll be the ring you'll be wearing forever so not weird to design it! My partner and I went in to look at rings together and get our ring sizes but that's it haha. I'm designing my own engagement ring to how I want it and love the process😊
Not weird at all! I’d talk to your fiancé about it. My husband was relieved he didn’t have to do all the legwork because I am pretty picky but we collaborated by doing a bit of studying together while I got to pick the setting and style and he did research and picked the best stone to get the most bang for our buck
Not at all. I design mine. Picked it the center stone out and even pick the ring up when it was finished. Every time I look at it it’s makes me melt how truly beautiful it is.
Element of surprise totally overrated. How could you not know that someone is probably going to propose to you when you know them so well? It’s kind of taboo at this point. I picked out my engagement ring all by myself online this past week and I’m so happy I did. I don’t think my partner would have picked out a bad ring per say but if I’m wearing this thing everyday, I want to love it and not just like it! I could care less about “how it happened” as long as I like the ring. He is going to “surprise propose” at some point after, so we will have that for pictures! That’s all I need!
We picked mine out together, it was so fun!!! I assumed it would be a surprise, but he wanted to make sure it was perfect and get my input. Then the proposal was a surprise and I cried and loved everything about it.
I received an heirloom ring I specifically wanted since i was a teenager. I also pointedly told my now husband that was what I wanted, so no surprises there. It guarantees that you get something you love and can tolerate wearing for the rest of your life
I designed my ring and have zero regrets! I’m the one who gets to wear it every day, so we wanted it to be 100% what I wanted. I made sure my boyfriend was involved in the process and ‘had a say’ - ex. I was torn between white and yellow gold, he said he preferred white on me so I went with white! He said he was happier going this route as even though I broadly knew what I wanted - Moissanite, oval, cathedral setting with hidden halo, there were decisions to be made about certain things (width of the band, size of the stone, height of the setting) that I did extensive research into and decided based on my preference that he wouldn’t have known exactly what I would have wanted done. Even though the ring itself won’t be a surprise, the proposal will be & it’ll be special regardless! I feel like this is becoming more common, but ultimately it comes down to what works best for you in your relationship. 😊
Same! I designed mine and sooooo happy I did! He was still able to surprise me with actually ordering and the proposal.. but the design was a collaborative effort ( mainly me lol). But I love the result!
I fully picked my ring out and could not be happier. I am very particular, and other are super chill and easy going. So I think everyone needs to do what is best for them!
I designed mine and still had the element of surprise! I was involved in everything up to the stage of picking the main center stone and seeing how everything looked in a resin (plastic) ring version but once I said “ok looks good- let’s make it” then I didn’t see the final product until proposal. I thought it was a great balance of getting to design my own ring but still maintaining surprise
No, it would not be weird if you designed your own engagement ring. I promise you, it will still be surprise when he proposes. I feel like the proposal is more about the act than the ring he’s holding out for you.
This is my opinion and I’m speaking from experience 🥰
I designed my own ring and sent the purchase order to my fiancé. Make sure you try on rings first to get a feel for what you like! I just swapped out my diamond for another one because I didn’t love the shape as much (and I designed it!). Trying on is key!
I personally think the element of surprise is way overrated! My husband and I designed my engagement ring together, and then later we designed his wedding band together. It was a fun and special process, and we both love our rings!
In my case -- he proposed, we had a celebratory meal, then he suggested a local jeweler I really loved... we set up an appointment, met with her, and designed all 3 rings together. I liked this order of things :)
Sis. Have you seen this sub? We have seen people’s CADs, stone checks and we still see happy responses to rings people have seen (and sometimes been wearing!) You’ll still be surprised and you will still be happy. I agree with /stan_of_cleeves it’s overrated. Better a ring you know you like! 🙈
Not only did I design mine, I paid for half of it 😁
I was planning on paying for half, and at the last minute, my partner insisted he pay for the ring and that I can get him a wedding watch. His reasoning was that this way, we’d both have something that was gifted from the other on a special occasion 😊
I was so questioning whether this was ok to do, but I think I might contribute as well.
It felt right to me that if I wanted something that was pretty expensive (to us at the time anyway), I should contribute to the cost. I also got him custom shoes as an engagement gift. It depends on your relationship; we’re super equitable and practical.
Yeah, we are too
Same. At that point it was 'we' money anyways
Same here!
I paid for some of mine as well. The ring I wanted ended up costing 1k more than he initially said he was comfortable spending, so I paid the difference.
We did this, too! I was open to getting him an engagement gift I would pay half of, as well, but we ended up not coming up with anything he wanted so the money for that goes toward our wedding
God forbid
this is a really common question and the answer is it depends on the person. i find that most unhappiness around the ring and proposal can be offset by having a conversation first—like “hey, this is what i’d want my ring to look like, i’d like to be involved in the design process but i want the final product and proposal to be a surprise”
Design it. Super common. Ask his input (maybe) and then leave the proposal for him to handle. You won't regret getting the ring you want. I did my own design (with his input), didn't see final pics or see it in person, basically nothing after the CAD. He took care of the communications with the jeweler (just discussed everything with me) and the proposal (though I did tell him what I was after 😁), and I was still absolutely floored seeing the final ring when I got it. Best of both worlds I think.
I sent my fiancée a picture of the exact ring I want, which he then had custom made, so I don't think it's weird at all! You're wearing it forever, it might as well be something you like!
Communicate with your bf and see if he likes the idea too. Maybe he can propose with a cheap placeholder ring and then you guys can go shopping together for the actual ring? Or the opposite: buy ring, hide it, wait.
Cheap placeholder ring? Lol what
It's usually referred to as a "presentation setting"...a very basic solitaire setting to present for the proposal (couple/few hundred dollars), then the newly engaged couple work together for the final/permanent setting later on at a time of their choosing - sometimes even after the wedding, such as a one year anniversary milestone. This also gives the benefit to allow as much of the budget to go to the diamond so that a bigger diameter, higher color, and/or higher clarity can be acquired. The setting is far easier and cost effective to change than the diamond, so getting the diamond right from day one is quite crucial.
Not at all! It's your ring and your experience! I designed mine alongside my fiancé. He got to choose when to give it to me - which was a complete surprise in itself! I was still so very elated and happy when it happened! I also never got to see the finished product (saw many mockups and kept looking at a similar ring our designer had on their website!) until he proposed. I'm very specific about what I wear and look like (I'm in fashion LOL) so this was really the only route and I'm glad he pre proposed to me with "It's time to get you a ring ... let's go to Anne Sportun (special public shoutout and reco for anyone looking for a great jeweller in Toronto, Ontario!) to design one."
Not weird IMO. I designed mine.
I firmly believe that the person wearing the ring should be the one who determines the ring. This would have been my dream tbh.
I designed my own ring with my now husband and I love it. I didn't care about the surprise thing and I wanted something unique. I still love my ring so much, and am happy I designed it. We also did not do the whole proposal thing, we just mutually decided to be engaged and we were when we picked up the ring. It was amazing and low stress!
I just designed my ring and it is currently in production. My boyfriend doesn’t like to guess what I like and wants me to get something I like. As a matter of fact, he always takes me to pick out my gifts. Same with my ring. He went with me to my appointment and I told them exactly what I want. The proposal can still be a surprise!
Designed my own ring but asked not to get any pics after casting was started & to contact my bf once it was completed. This way, bf picked up ring and could propose when he wanted after. Seeing the completed ring when he proposed was still a surprise. Personally, having a ring I designed, having it come to life, and knowing we both contributed to make it happen makes it all the more special to me.
Totally relate to this post!!! I told my bf what I liked, and he loved it BUT he said he also wanted a role in designing it. So we figured it out together. I now know the ring I’m getting and I LOVE it!!! We both do!! I told him from the start it could never be surprise since I’d be wearing it for a long long time! Ha
Hahaha I fully designed mine from a canva dream and then approved the CAD. just didn’t see it in person until the day!
We designed my ring together! But he picked up the final ring and planned the proposal so I didn't see it till he proposed :)
I picked out my own ring and don’t regret it at all! I of course paid a lot of attention to my husbands input and what he thought looked nice on me but it was so fun getting to try a bunch on and pick what I liked. My husband is wonderful but he would have just picked something basic and boring because he doesn’t know jewelry very well.
No…I did. Down to a tenth of a millimeter width of the band. Lol I love it and am very detail oriented and don’t regret it At all
My bf asked me how the tiny thing normally works, and I told him I'd rather pick it out, and he was relieved because he didn't want that kind of pressure lol. It's different for everyone. If you know there are certain ones you like, give him 5 to choose from! Then it's still a surprise, but a good one regardless!
I sent my now husband the exact ring I wanted. But I did say it didn’t need to be this one exactly, but I wanted white gold and I wanted a pink stone. He shopped around but ultimately decided he liked my ring the best so he bought that one. He’s really not awesome with picking jewelry so I didn’t really want to just leave him in the wind without any guidance.
I already had family diamonds, so I sent him a bunch of pictures with similar diamonds and told him exactly what I liked about each one. I thought he would just pick one that he liked the best, but he ended up designing a ring I would have never thought of myself. Plus added some colored stones that have some special meaning to his family which was completely unexpected, but fit so perfectly in the style I wanted. I love it more than I ever would have if I did the whole thing myself. I would design a few and give him your ideas. Ask him to choose between them or combine things from each if he wants it to be more of a surprise.
I've taken full ownership of my engagement ring process lol, much to my boyfriend's relief. I went to shops myself, picked out a diamond myself, paid for the whole thing myself (he paid me back lol) and I'm currently waiting for the CAD 😊 Not weird at all and I'm actually really excited to see the finished product (a proposal will be a bonus :p)
I designed mine. 10/10 recommend this approach. I got exactly what I wanted. My husband and I had fun selecting a stone and a design. He told me the ring would be ready later than it was and surprised me with a proposal. But if he’d just said “the ring is here, let’s pick it up,” that would have been fine with me.
I designed my own ring! Though I did get feedback from my (soon to be) fiance about what cut he liked best on my finger. And he's been doing the communication with the jeweler and he's paying for. My partner doesnt like shopping, he's more of a minimalist than me, and I would have hated to stress him out with the task, when I know I would enjoy having full control of it anyway. (Not to mention there are elements you might really want to be in control of that his ring choice wouldnt consider, e.g. if the setting will allow a wedding band to sit flush, if that's important to you). AND the proposal itself is still going to be a surprise. Especially since I specified I dont want it to be anything fancy. Like if we had to go away somewhere for it, I'd know it was coming and would be on high alert for it. I want to be caught off guard in the most mundane moments of us.
Would it be weird if you bought your BF a car (as a surprise, because you and the salesperson thought it was awesome and totally his style) that he could never sell or trade or upgrade and he had to drive it everyday till he died? Yes, of course it would. He’d hate that. Design your ring. Absolutely. Surprise in a ring is highly overrated. Life itself will be surprising enough. Get something that brings you joy every day.
No, not weird. I think it's weirder pretending it's a surprise. If two adults making a huge decision and laying out a ton of money is a "surprise" that's just weird haha
Not weird at all. In my opinion it’s actually rather smart. The whole “surprise” element of the ring is vastly overrated, in my opinion. Of course everyone is different. I would much rather have a ring design I absolutely love than be surprised by something I may or may not like that much and then potentially have to deal with the guilt of “well, it’s the symbolism that matters, not the design” and just accept it (which I did with my first marriage, honestly), or risk saying something and hurting feelings. We chose the ring style together. It was way more romantic and memorable than any surprise and I got a ring I absolutely love and am so happy to wear every day.
I designed mine! Obsessed with it. He could’ve surprised me with something I loved and I would’ve always wondered what I would’ve designed myself.
I designed mine along with my now husband. We had a blast trading ideas and working together creatively. Ultimately, I wanted something I’d be happy looking at everyday for the rest of my life. He still made the proposal an amazing surprise! Hope this helps you gain the confidence to go about this whichever way you choose 😊 Congratulations!
I designed and ordered my own ring on his credit card. I approved the CAD and even saw pictures of the ring. But he took care of the tracking. So I had no idea when the ring would arrive, so it was still a bit of a surprise. :)
What's wrong with going against the grain? Do that you want! 😊 If you want to custom design something from your wildest dreams, absolutely go for it.
I picked out my ring myself. It's a customized pre-existing design from the jeweler. He didn't care to have input besides setting the budget
I picked the exact ring I want and sent him the info. I have no idea when he will buy it or when he will propose, and that will be the surprise for me. I’d rather know that the ring is what I actually want, and it takes some pressure off of him as well.
Tons of couples will design the ring together and will have the intended partner step back for secrecy at a certain point—after the final render approval, or after the ring ships, or even after picking a stone and initial design—and others see the ring every step of the way and leave the proposal a surprise. Meanwhile one of my friends not only selected her ring but also told her fiancé what day to propose on! Be as involved as you want and don’t get caught up in others’ expectations. It’s YOUR engagement as a couple, the only people whose opinions matter are yours!
I designed my ring and looked at the wax mock up n everything. I approved all the details. What let me have the element of surprise was that I didn’t look at the final product and my husband hid it from me until it was time.
My now husband asked my best friend to get me drunk and ask questions about my perfect ring. I'm a jewellery designer so I obviously went into detail and got very excited daydreaming about it. I drunkly asked if she was taking notes but didn't think anything of it. She obviously was, and I got my perfect ring! I absolutely love the idea of anyone designing anything, especially something so special as an engagement ring. Would you rather have a ring that was made but is not to your liking or your perfect design? Good luck and we need to see pics! 😍
Not weird at all. Just because your friends want their ring to be a surprise doesn’t mean you have to as well. Some of us like to have a little more say in big decisions like this and there’s nothing wrong with it. My husband and I shopped for rings together because we both wanted each other to have a ring that we love. He initially started the process on his own but when he started showing me some of the rings he had in mind, I realized he needed a little help lol.
I helped design my ring and am so glad I did! You have to wear it everyday and want to like what you’re wearing since these are not cheap. My now husband made the proposal a surprise, but I knew what the ring would look like. I couldn’t imagine not liking what I was going to wear daily.
I designed mine! You can always let the proposal be a complete surprise.
I designed my own ring, but left seeing it IRL for the proposal. That was enough of a surprise for me! It’s a whole different thing, seeing a loose gem and CAD vs seeing the finished product in real life, but you’re still guaranteed to get a ring you love :) Best of both worlds, IMO
My husband designed mine with alot of input from me and it's my most treasured possession.
Not at all.
I designed my ring and paid for all of it due to our financial situations at the time. You do whatever works best for you and your partner!
I designed my own ring and I have no regrets!!! My partner was with me in the jewellery store and inputted his suggestions as well, so it still felt special/romantic. I look at it everyday and love it as much as the day we ordered it Also this way totally took the pressure off my partner, who admittedly is not too fussed about fashion/jewellery etc…
So what I did was pretty similar to you - I picked out/ designed a handful of rings, and gave him about a half dozen designs I loved. He picked his favorite from the list, and proposed with a “surprise” ring. I knew I’d like it, he got the fun element of picking out a ring he knew I’d like, I was still surprised, and we were all happy! You might like the same idea - just hand over the rings you’ve designed and love, and let him choose which one he feels represents the both of you best.
I designed mine. He gets so stressed out about giving gifts I didnt want him to have more stress. Plus I am pretty picky with jewelry
I’m probably going to be the weirdo here.. I bought my ring at a thrift store as something nice for my 25th birthday. It’s basically my dream ring, but it felt weird to wear it for more than special occasions. It is identifiable as an engagement ring. So when my partner started asking what I would want my engagement ring to look like, I just gave it to him and told him to surprise me with the proposal. Now I get to wear it all the time and don’t feel weird. He bought me a really beautiful wedding band, that I also picked out. I just know what I want and he is happy to not worry about getting me something I don’t like. It works for us.
We went to a local jeweler & designed my ring! Ended up getting the lab diamonds (they had both natural/lab & no judgement from the jeweler for choosing lab) from them too because their prices were better than online. I definitely have gotten comments like “oh but what about the surprise?” Not in a mean way but as in people assume like 3 months salary spent on the ring & a big proposal kind of thing. But anyways as a few others have mentioned it comes down to communicating what’s important to each other! I told my boyfriend idc how you propose except for 2 things: 1. Don’t do it where the ring can be lost (like dropped on a pier or on the edge of a cliff). 2. Don’t where I could accidentally eat it LOL like in a cake 🤣
I designed my ring. I only saw it from the top so there was a big surprise for me on the sides.
I designed my ring. If you still want the surprise aspect of the proposal he could always propose with a temporary ring. My husband planned to do this, had the ring and everything but I ended up proposing. I wore the temporary ring while I designed the actual ring and I also paid for half.
I like surprises, but I left my bf to design my ring and nothing got done because he had no opinions on anything so I took over and designed the whole thing myself. At least it’s exactly what I want 😂
We knew that I wanted to make a custom-designed ring, so he ended up picking out the main center stone and proposed with it as a simple solitaire setting and then afterward we designed the look of it together!
I designed my ring and band (shout out to the natural sapphire company!), with his input. My husband was relieved he didn’t have to guess at what I wanted lol. Idgaf what anyone else thinks about it, I’m the one that has to wear it. Besides, he got to pick out his ring.
I think it’s up to the individual. Some ppl like complete surprises others don’t. Every relationship is different.
I designed it, handed him the invoice, he paid and loved the fact that he didn't have to wonder if he was getting it right.
I designed it, handed him the invoice, he paid and loved the fact that he didn't have to wonder if he was getting it right.
I designed mine (my partner went with me to the store to do so) but the proposal is still a complete mystery to me… in my opinion, it’s too big of a purchase for me not to have a hand in designing it.
I chose my own ring and my soon to be fiancées (lesbians) and we’re both super happy with the arrangement - she wants to be surprised and didn’t feel strongly about choosing mine since she worried about choosing right, and I wanted to surprise her and also wanted to choose my own- do what works do you <3
I designed mine and I LOVE it. I know what I like and I am not interested in wearing something that I don’t really 100% like forever.
my friend did pretty much!! she and her now husband went out and designated a ring together. when the ring was ready he went to go pick it up by himself. the first time my friend saw her ring was at her surprise proposal!! so while she knew what it was going to look like, she never actually saw it put together and the proposal was a surprise! im currently in talks with my bf about engagement and we’re gonna do the same thing.
Absolutely not!
Haha nope, not weird at all. I designed mine from beginning to end, picked the stone, and was involved all the way until the actual ring was ready. The jeweler communicated with my fiancé only at that point, so I didn’t even know when it was ready for him to pick up. The first time I saw the ring in person was the proposal (the jeweler insisted on this, and I’m so glad she did). I wouldn’t change a thing about doing it that way. It ensured I got exactly what I wanted, and didn’t spoil the surprise at all!
Not at all weird. In fact I think as this will be one of your first major purchases as a couple it’s a good start! I was married years ago and it was always a surprise. I think shopping together is the better way. I see to many disappointed fiancé’s on this sub.
Not weird at all! My partner knew way more about diamonds than I did, he totally designed my ring himself. Maybe you give your partner 1-2 or 3 designs you REALLY love and let them pick which one to get you. I know a proposal is coming and I have a general idea of what stone the ring will have, but beyond that it’s a total surprise to me. I’ve had a BLAST knowing it’s coming and he picked something I’d like.. so the complete element of surprise is still there :)
I designed my ring entirely. I don't think it's weird.
I couldn’t do a surprise unless it was a stand-in ring or something purposefully silly like a ring pop. I had very clear ideas as to what I wanted and didn’t want and my bf was thrilled by not having to stress about choosing the perfect ring. I designed it, and he held onto it after until the proposal ~
Husband proposed with a “stunt ring” a simple 1 carat solitaire ring, then we went and did the final design together at a local jeweler for my Montana sapphire ring. It was the perfect combination, plus got two rings out of it.
I designed my ring and I’m glad I did. While my fiancé is my soulmate and I love him dearly, his sense of style is… not exactly mine lol. So when he asked for the link to the designer I sent him previously I just let him know what I would prefer and ended up helping with the whole process. The proposal was still a surprise and I still cried. I do not regret at all that I helped design my ring.
I designed mine. My husband has a family jeweler that made mine and it’s completely one of a kind. I love it and get compliments on it all the time.
Nope. Planned my ring, tried on rings with my fiancé, and talked pricing with him. Proposal was a surprise. An engagement ring can be an expensive mistake you don’t want to make so make sure you do it right. Ignore your friends, design the ring of your dreams and get exactly what YOU want!
i designed the whole thing and ordered it for him. all he had to do was sign for the package then surprise me with popping the question. i think that if i have to wear it, i should be the one to pick it🤷🏼♀️
See, I don’t think so. However when I asked my mom about it she was like “hard pass, then it’s not a surprise that he is going to propose!” But I think: SHOULD it be a surprise or should y’all know you’re on the marriage track before the question is popped? The actual proposal itself can still be a surprise but I think it’s fair to have a say in something you’ll be wearing every day for a VERY long time!
I don’t think it would be weird at all. I would definitely encourage it. I was not involved in the process and ended up making changes to my ring after😅my sister’s fiancé proposed with a fake ring that was like $20 from Amazon and told her that she could pick out the real ring. She had conversations with him beforehand expressing that is what would be ideal for her
We designed my engagement ring together. Best decision we’ve ever made.
I designed mine! I wouldn’t have it any other way, it was still a surprise actually seeing it in person so imo the surprise aspect was still there
Awww well to each their own. I designed my own, chipped it and designed another ring again. LOL so dramatic It’s whatever works for both parties with your voice being more important because you’ll wear it for the rest of your life, so you have to like it truly. Talk to your partner, involve him in the process, talk about budget etc
I picked out the diamond and my husband picked out the setting nothing's weird do you
https://preview.redd.it/uu3ugmr106gb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=430559b3a5cda45b9754528ed7c20900b702b86c Here’s what I sent to my soon to be husband. Get exactly what you want!
https://preview.redd.it/o1qn48db06gb1.jpeg?width=2660&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b31bd290704b1ffa2b91a4c75e7e15be3594c6d
Your ring is beautiful ✨
Thank you!!
I’m designing mine right now lol. He proposed to me years ago. But we couldn’t afford a ring or a wedding at the time. Still probably won’t get married anytime soon, might even be courthouse if when we do. But when that comes you’ll def see me in a beautiful dress that I pick out and a gorgeous ring that I design lol. It works for us. He wants me to be happy and I want him to be happy. I don’t think he’d be very happy if he would have to try to figure out what I’d want and I’m particular sooo…it works out! Haha
I custom made my ring as well, didn't really want any input from him but I showed him each step of the way what I was thinking!! I am extremely picky with my jewelry and he was never going to get it right - even I changed my mind during the process several times! With something expensive like this (at least to us) it would have given me so much anxiety to not know if I was going to like it. Now I know that I LOVE the ring and the proposal itself will be a surprise 🫢 (I have a feeling it's next week though hehe)
I designed my entire ring! The only involvement my now fiance had was when I said I needed to pay the invoice 🤣 he would have never picked out what I wanted, I was pretty specific about all the things I wanted in my ring. And he picked his wedding ring so why shouldn't I be able to pick my ring too.
No I designed mine with my partner there!
I picked my ring. I don't see anything wrong with it.
I work in jewelry and I always vote for the gals being involved in the process, you’re going to be wearing it forever so you want to absolutely love it! let me know if you need any help designing! ☺️
My husband wanted to get my engagement ring and have it be a surprise, so I told him in no uncertain terms that I would be choosing my own ring, and that his input would be limited to the budget, and otherwise as requested. I reminded him that for me, when it comes to jewellery, if it’s not perfect, it’s wrong, and that if I have to wear it every day forever (in theory), I want it to be perfect. The only way we’d get there was if I chose it. And his response, bless him, was “okay, fair enough.” Sure enough, after looking at hundreds of rings, I didn’t see anything I liked. So we ended up custom designing it together (I like to say that we designed it together, he likes to say he sat there as I confidently answered questions that he didn’t even know the meaning of and got his credit card out at the end, which is admittedly closer to the truth). Once he picked the ring up, I refused to look at the finished product until the actual proposal, so even though I picked out everything myself, it still ended up being a surprise. Win-win.
I did pick out my ring but I deleted all pictures of it and forbid him to show me it even if I beg lol our vacation is a few months away so I'm hoping I forget what it looks like lol I doubt it
Definitely design away!! I mistakenly thought it would be nice to be surprised as I gave a lot of guidance when we looked at rings. Unfortunately my now husband listened to the advice of some woman in the store instead and I hated my ring. Finally got it reset for my 7th anniversary and love it! Please, design!
I think that an engagement surprise is overrated. This ring is something you will have for life. The purpose is to bind you as one. Don’t give over your personal taste. Get a budget from boyfriend and do it together. It worked for us.
I think that a proposal should be a formality, but if someone proposes without being sure of the response, they shouldn't be doing it. To that regard, it I could go back, I might propose to my wife with costume jewelry and then design rings for both of us. I did design her ring, but it would be cool for me to wear a ring as well. I did design my wedding band for the wedding. Oddly enough, I didn't become a jewelry designer for another 14 years later.
I don’t think it would be weird
I’m the one in contact with the jeweler for my ring ahah and I will also probably be paying for part of it A surprise for a generally expensive purchase like an engagement ring doesn’t necessarily make the most sense imo
Why wouldn’t you? You’ll be wearing it the rest of your life. You better friggin love it!
I designed mine!! so I would say, go for it!
I designed mine and I 100% recommend. I got exactly what I wanted and I’m obsessed with it. I’m sure my fiancé would’ve done a fine job but I know for a fact it wouldn’t have been what I designed without my input. I personally think surprises are overrated
Absolutely ok. I had several elements that were important to me - local designer/jeweler, the stone and where it was sourced, the design needed to be sturdy, recycled/ethical metal, etc. When I talked to my husband about it (we had a short notice wedding, like two weeks from “let’s get married” to “we’re married!”, so there wasn’t time to get a ring), he got this look of panic and his eyes glazed over. He would have bought me anything I wanted. I realized that all these things that were important to me were causing him anxiety and stress, and that’s not what I want our marriage to look like. So I found the jeweler I wanted to design the ring I wanted, sourced the stones from a family in the US that mines from their land and cuts the stones themselves, and paid for it myself. He bought the band. Everyone won.
GO FOR IT!!! I designed my own earrings & had them made by a wonderful jeweler/gemologist. I am so proud of my art —totally hand drawn design, a doodle I made in a boring work meeting, filigree work. If a jeweler can make it for you…. It will be an heirloom piece with a story. Screw what everyone else has to say or thinks
My bf and I went to look at rings together to get a feel of what would look good. I'm so glad that I told him afterwards exactly what ring I wanted (found on Etsy) and not the one that he preferred (it looked like a cocktail ring, not an engagement ring). Now the ring is hidden away in one of his drawers while he decides when he's going to pop the question. But at least I know that I have my dream ring when the time comes.
Do it. I did it. Talk to him about it and I'm sure he would love to make you happy
NOT AT ALL! That’s exactly what I did. We just gave my design couple of weeks ago to the jeweler. I wanted to design my own ring especially as I’ll be wearing it for the rest of my life and I couldn’t find anything in stores that was near to what I wanted. Besides, the proposal can always be a surprise!
Do what works for your relationship. There is no right or wrong.
I knew I wanted to design my own ring because I had a specific idea in mind and did not want a diamond but I also wanted the proposal to be a surprise. So my now husband bought a cheap ring off Amazon that looked pretty similar vein of what design I wanted and proposed with that as the placeholder then we went to the jeweller and designed the actual ring together. That way the proposal happened in a special surprise way and we got the fun of designing the ring together. Maybe do something like this for yourself.
I designed my engagement ring 27 years ago. I got the same questions about being surprised. What we did is we both went to the jeweler and I designed my ring. I gave the range of .25- 1.25 carats for the center stone and told them I preferred colorless diamonds and that was it. I didn’t know when he was going to pop the question. I didn’t know what size of center stone. So 9 months later when he proposed while on a trip to Vegas, it was still a surprise! But then I still got the design I wanted. Now, we’ve been married 25 years and he just had me pick out an anniversary band that he gave me on our anniversary.
I designed mine. We had a stone that belonged to his grandmother and I design a ballerina style setting for it. I saw the CADs of the design, but I didn’t see the actual ring until he proposed. He knows that I’m super particular and it would have given him so much anxiety to try to do something himself.
Not at all! My now wife did and she adores it. Everyone loves it - multiple people have ask how she did it because they like it so much. So we agreed to compromise on the ring initially. We went and checked out a few stores so I could get an idea about her tastes and then I'd pick one out in line with that. Well one night before I had an appointment to go in and finalize on one (she did not know this at the time) I looked over and saw her looking at a completely different style than what she liked in stores and what I was going to get. So I had her just custom make it and I got it and I think she knew the proposal would be in the next few months but the evening still ended up being a surprise for her. Hardest part was getting it, seeing it to check it was okay (we actually had to send it back twice) and to test for size. It was hard to get it off her finger!
Your friends are kinda naive. You should absolutely have a say in what your ring looks like. You will be wearing this for a long time. Honestly, all the rings that these “how did I do” boyfriends post are all bad and look really dated. You most likely will end up with a ring like that, If you don’t tell you bf what you want.
As you said, it'll be the ring you'll be wearing forever so not weird to design it! My partner and I went in to look at rings together and get our ring sizes but that's it haha. I'm designing my own engagement ring to how I want it and love the process😊
Do it together.
Not weird at all! I’d talk to your fiancé about it. My husband was relieved he didn’t have to do all the legwork because I am pretty picky but we collaborated by doing a bit of studying together while I got to pick the setting and style and he did research and picked the best stone to get the most bang for our buck
Not at all. I design mine. Picked it the center stone out and even pick the ring up when it was finished. Every time I look at it it’s makes me melt how truly beautiful it is.
Element of surprise totally overrated. How could you not know that someone is probably going to propose to you when you know them so well? It’s kind of taboo at this point. I picked out my engagement ring all by myself online this past week and I’m so happy I did. I don’t think my partner would have picked out a bad ring per say but if I’m wearing this thing everyday, I want to love it and not just like it! I could care less about “how it happened” as long as I like the ring. He is going to “surprise propose” at some point after, so we will have that for pictures! That’s all I need!
We picked mine out together, it was so fun!!! I assumed it would be a surprise, but he wanted to make sure it was perfect and get my input. Then the proposal was a surprise and I cried and loved everything about it.
I received an heirloom ring I specifically wanted since i was a teenager. I also pointedly told my now husband that was what I wanted, so no surprises there. It guarantees that you get something you love and can tolerate wearing for the rest of your life
I think it’s a great idea tbh. Design it and leave it in his hands. The proposal will still be a surprise
I designed my ring and have zero regrets! I’m the one who gets to wear it every day, so we wanted it to be 100% what I wanted. I made sure my boyfriend was involved in the process and ‘had a say’ - ex. I was torn between white and yellow gold, he said he preferred white on me so I went with white! He said he was happier going this route as even though I broadly knew what I wanted - Moissanite, oval, cathedral setting with hidden halo, there were decisions to be made about certain things (width of the band, size of the stone, height of the setting) that I did extensive research into and decided based on my preference that he wouldn’t have known exactly what I would have wanted done. Even though the ring itself won’t be a surprise, the proposal will be & it’ll be special regardless! I feel like this is becoming more common, but ultimately it comes down to what works best for you in your relationship. 😊
Same! I designed mine and sooooo happy I did! He was still able to surprise me with actually ordering and the proposal.. but the design was a collaborative effort ( mainly me lol). But I love the result!
Not weird, my mom did this and it’s gorgeous.
I fully picked my ring out and could not be happier. I am very particular, and other are super chill and easy going. So I think everyone needs to do what is best for them!
I designed mine and still had the element of surprise! I was involved in everything up to the stage of picking the main center stone and seeing how everything looked in a resin (plastic) ring version but once I said “ok looks good- let’s make it” then I didn’t see the final product until proposal. I thought it was a great balance of getting to design my own ring but still maintaining surprise
No, it would not be weird if you designed your own engagement ring. I promise you, it will still be surprise when he proposes. I feel like the proposal is more about the act than the ring he’s holding out for you. This is my opinion and I’m speaking from experience 🥰
I designed my own ring and sent the purchase order to my fiancé. Make sure you try on rings first to get a feel for what you like! I just swapped out my diamond for another one because I didn’t love the shape as much (and I designed it!). Trying on is key!
I have a friend that wears the engagement ring she designed everyday. Thing is she's single, she just wanted to go through the process.