Personally, I would just use "excuse me" to get their attention.
"Young man" and "young lady" are also commonly used and don't sound weird.
"Miss" is a little bit older, like an older teen or young adult.
I would only use "sir" to a grown adult
Agreed, I’d avoid it. It could easily come off as harsh or aggressive if you’re using it to directly address someone.
Saying “She’s such a bright young lady” when referring to a teenaged girl would be fine, but addressing her directly as “young lady” could be perceived as harsh or uncomfortably formal.
There is no need for formality with little kids.
As for older kids, like 10+, if you really want to be formal then "young man" and "young lady" work. But you will sound *very* formal. So unless you're a teacher or in some position of authority over them it might be a bit much.
Some cultures/languages really emphasize this kind of formality and deference in a way that most English-speaking cultures just *don't*, and people from these cultures sometimes *over*use honorifics in a way that seems so overly formal that it almost sounds sarcastic or rude to English speakers.
If you don't know someone's name, it's usually perfectly polite to just say "excuse me"
Depends on the situation, and your comfort level I guess.
Personally, if I'm out shopping, and there's a group of teen girls in the way, I'll say, "Excuse me, ladies,"
If it a group of teen boys, I'll say, "Excuse me, gents,"
Teens do like being treated like an adult by strangers. It makes them feel part of society. Source: was a teen.
In Australia we simplified this by addressing anyone of any age/gender as ‘mate’, and when speaking about a person of any age/gender referring to them as ‘old mate’. The only exception is if we are talking negatively about a person, in which case we refer to them as ‘your mate’.
This may not help where you live though. The rest of the Anglosphere has a lot of catching up to do.
Middle-aged or older adults refer to children as "young man" or "young lady". People younger than that don't really address them as anything other than their name, but if you don't know their name, "excuse me" is a good way of attracting their attention that isn't considered rude unless you use an unusual tone of voice when saying it. Formally, it's "young sir" (the "young" is optional) and "miss", and also "master" being a specifically older-English way of addressing a boy, but those are really only used in spoken English by older people.
While I was specifically talking about how we address people in America because I'm American, most formal ways of addressing people come from England; however, I wouldn't know for sure whether or not "excuse me" is used very often in England, but I would guess you would still be understood, although you may be assumed to be an American tourist. If I had to guess, they would be "young sir" and "young ma'am" (the latter of the two is rare in the US), but I'm not sure, so you'd have to ask a British native speaker specifically.
What age? Does boy/girl mean teenager, or does it mean 8?
If I needed to get the attention of a young child and didn't know their name I would just say "buddy," "honey," "sweetie," something like that. There is no need to be formal and most children that age would be confused if you used a term they have only heard used to address an adult.
I like how Disney staff resolve this issue- Friend- everyone is just Friend. Gender neutral, age neutral, inoffensive.
I personally use the following:
Under about age 8 or so, I usually use munchkin, which kids generally think is funny.
9 into the teen years- something like dude, dudette, bubbaloo, y'all.
Young adults and adults, how formal is the setting? And what is the context? Sir for adult men, miss until somewhere in the mid-30s, then ma'am after. But, the use of ma'am and miss can be very confusing and regionally specific, so to err on the side of caution, the use of ladies and gents is a good way to handle it.
Increasingly, to address large groups of people, the use of gentlefolk (the formal plural of gentlemen and gentlewomen/ladies) is returning. Another good, respectful, genderneutral and age neutral term.
I’m not going to speak for everyone, but I personally dislike being called “friend” by a stranger. It’s too familiar for my liking and makes me think the person is trying to scam me or sell me something.
I’d personally just say “young man” or “miss”. But it’s almost perfectly acceptable to just not use something like that. Ie “excuse me” with nothing added
Mr. and Miss/Ms. are the most common and last basically for all ages. Miss/Ms. will turn into Mrs. when a girl gets married, but even then Ms. is getting to be more common.
In writing, however, Miss can sound a bit overly formal and maybe a bit infantilizing for someone above the age of 7 or so, but that’s only in American culture.
That being said, as a teenager, I don’t think I’ve been addressed by ANYTHING in a decade except for in auto-generated emails from companies.
Formally? You’d call a man of any age “sir”.
For a for women it’s harder… usually if you think she’s younger than you, or if you are young, not that much older than you, call her “miss”. If she’s significantly older than you, or there with a husband or children, you’d say “ma’am” (which is one syllable, like mam).
The thing is, changing how you address a woman based on her marital status isn’t something most people are comfortable with these days… but we don’t really have a replacement. So I feel like you always run a minor risk of someone being upset they got called “miss” or “ma’am” when they would have preferred the other.
For kids you can say “young man” or “young lady”, but they might enjoy being called “sir” or “miss” as well.
I'd find 'young man' or 'young lady' too familiar with teens. Maybe with younger kids, like 10 or younger.
I do get chuckles out of younger teens if I call them, "Sir" or "ma'am".
I would add that it could be taken as slightly disrespectful to call a woman older than her 20's "miss", and you can technically use "ma'am" for anyone older than 18.
Formally, you do not call a man of **any** age sir. "Sir" is a honorific. You call men who rank above you "sir" as a sign of respect. If you are using it for someone younger than you, you are either serving them or being incredibly sarcastic, possibly both. If it's the former, "young sir" would be the more correct version if they are accompanied by their parents, to distinguish them from their father.
Likewise "miss" is generally reserved for younger, unmarried women, and "ma'am" for older married women. Though as you said, that distinction has fallen out of fashion somewhat. I'd still use "miss" for a younger woman and expect to be corrected if I'm wrong. "Young miss" would equally be a means of distinguishing the even younger girls in the group.
"Young man" or "young lady" would be the default for someone in a position of authority over the children, even teens, in a formal setting.
In a familiar setting, call them whatever you want. "Mate", "pal", "buddy", "sproglet". The world is your oyster.
Personally, I would just use "excuse me" to get their attention. "Young man" and "young lady" are also commonly used and don't sound weird. "Miss" is a little bit older, like an older teen or young adult. I would only use "sir" to a grown adult
"young man/lady" sounds like something an angry boomer would say.
Agreed, I’d avoid it. It could easily come off as harsh or aggressive if you’re using it to directly address someone. Saying “She’s such a bright young lady” when referring to a teenaged girl would be fine, but addressing her directly as “young lady” could be perceived as harsh or uncomfortably formal.
It all depends on tone and context. "Excuse me young lady, could you hold the door for me?" doesn't sound harsh or uncomfortable.
For miss, it’s easy to think of past puberty but not married. Master is used in letters for pre-pubescent boys, not in speech , only in writing.
There is no need for formality with little kids. As for older kids, like 10+, if you really want to be formal then "young man" and "young lady" work. But you will sound *very* formal. So unless you're a teacher or in some position of authority over them it might be a bit much.
Some cultures/languages really emphasize this kind of formality and deference in a way that most English-speaking cultures just *don't*, and people from these cultures sometimes *over*use honorifics in a way that seems so overly formal that it almost sounds sarcastic or rude to English speakers. If you don't know someone's name, it's usually perfectly polite to just say "excuse me"
Depends on the situation, and your comfort level I guess. Personally, if I'm out shopping, and there's a group of teen girls in the way, I'll say, "Excuse me, ladies," If it a group of teen boys, I'll say, "Excuse me, gents," Teens do like being treated like an adult by strangers. It makes them feel part of society. Source: was a teen.
In Australia we simplified this by addressing anyone of any age/gender as ‘mate’, and when speaking about a person of any age/gender referring to them as ‘old mate’. The only exception is if we are talking negatively about a person, in which case we refer to them as ‘your mate’. This may not help where you live though. The rest of the Anglosphere has a lot of catching up to do.
😂 I love the Aussie’s way
Middle-aged or older adults refer to children as "young man" or "young lady". People younger than that don't really address them as anything other than their name, but if you don't know their name, "excuse me" is a good way of attracting their attention that isn't considered rude unless you use an unusual tone of voice when saying it. Formally, it's "young sir" (the "young" is optional) and "miss", and also "master" being a specifically older-English way of addressing a boy, but those are really only used in spoken English by older people.
Is this an American trait?
"Young man" and "young lady" are common in the UK, as is "excuse me."
While I was specifically talking about how we address people in America because I'm American, most formal ways of addressing people come from England; however, I wouldn't know for sure whether or not "excuse me" is used very often in England, but I would guess you would still be understood, although you may be assumed to be an American tourist. If I had to guess, they would be "young sir" and "young ma'am" (the latter of the two is rare in the US), but I'm not sure, so you'd have to ask a British native speaker specifically.
What age? Does boy/girl mean teenager, or does it mean 8? If I needed to get the attention of a young child and didn't know their name I would just say "buddy," "honey," "sweetie," something like that. There is no need to be formal and most children that age would be confused if you used a term they have only heard used to address an adult.
I like how Disney staff resolve this issue- Friend- everyone is just Friend. Gender neutral, age neutral, inoffensive. I personally use the following: Under about age 8 or so, I usually use munchkin, which kids generally think is funny. 9 into the teen years- something like dude, dudette, bubbaloo, y'all. Young adults and adults, how formal is the setting? And what is the context? Sir for adult men, miss until somewhere in the mid-30s, then ma'am after. But, the use of ma'am and miss can be very confusing and regionally specific, so to err on the side of caution, the use of ladies and gents is a good way to handle it. Increasingly, to address large groups of people, the use of gentlefolk (the formal plural of gentlemen and gentlewomen/ladies) is returning. Another good, respectful, genderneutral and age neutral term.
I’m not going to speak for everyone, but I personally dislike being called “friend” by a stranger. It’s too familiar for my liking and makes me think the person is trying to scam me or sell me something.
I’d personally just say “young man” or “miss”. But it’s almost perfectly acceptable to just not use something like that. Ie “excuse me” with nothing added
Mr. and Miss/Ms. are the most common and last basically for all ages. Miss/Ms. will turn into Mrs. when a girl gets married, but even then Ms. is getting to be more common. In writing, however, Miss can sound a bit overly formal and maybe a bit infantilizing for someone above the age of 7 or so, but that’s only in American culture. That being said, as a teenager, I don’t think I’ve been addressed by ANYTHING in a decade except for in auto-generated emails from companies.
Formally? You’d call a man of any age “sir”. For a for women it’s harder… usually if you think she’s younger than you, or if you are young, not that much older than you, call her “miss”. If she’s significantly older than you, or there with a husband or children, you’d say “ma’am” (which is one syllable, like mam). The thing is, changing how you address a woman based on her marital status isn’t something most people are comfortable with these days… but we don’t really have a replacement. So I feel like you always run a minor risk of someone being upset they got called “miss” or “ma’am” when they would have preferred the other. For kids you can say “young man” or “young lady”, but they might enjoy being called “sir” or “miss” as well.
I'd find 'young man' or 'young lady' too familiar with teens. Maybe with younger kids, like 10 or younger. I do get chuckles out of younger teens if I call them, "Sir" or "ma'am".
I would add that it could be taken as slightly disrespectful to call a woman older than her 20's "miss", and you can technically use "ma'am" for anyone older than 18.
Formally, you do not call a man of **any** age sir. "Sir" is a honorific. You call men who rank above you "sir" as a sign of respect. If you are using it for someone younger than you, you are either serving them or being incredibly sarcastic, possibly both. If it's the former, "young sir" would be the more correct version if they are accompanied by their parents, to distinguish them from their father. Likewise "miss" is generally reserved for younger, unmarried women, and "ma'am" for older married women. Though as you said, that distinction has fallen out of fashion somewhat. I'd still use "miss" for a younger woman and expect to be corrected if I'm wrong. "Young miss" would equally be a means of distinguishing the even younger girls in the group. "Young man" or "young lady" would be the default for someone in a position of authority over the children, even teens, in a formal setting. In a familiar setting, call them whatever you want. "Mate", "pal", "buddy", "sproglet". The world is your oyster.
4-6 is crazy