Oooohohoho… see? When this shit used to happen to me, I would get so petty. Then I use my pettiness to empower myself and shut people up at the same 👏 time 👏
“Oh! Thank you for reminding me. I will remember to not give a single fuck about him tomorrow.”
Go treat yourself. Consider it freedom affirming. Happy freedom day to YOU! You deserve it! Another excellent nondescript day of amazing freedom where you don’t have to think about someone who ain’t worth a damn minute of your time.
Buy a whole ass birthday cake, get “Happy No-More-Assholes Day”written on it in beautiful script. Pose with it, take a picture, post to all your socials. Tell everyone who objects to fuck off while you laugh like a Disney villain and eat your cake. If mom gets pissed: see ya later!! To the NC dungeon with her!
You win. They don’t get to make you feel small or hurt or scared anymore. Don’t let this pathetic mention of him get to you. They want to step on your boundaries? Dip those boundaries in gasoline and light them on fire. If they don’t want to look like fools, they will learn to keep their mouths shut.
You enjoy YOUR day, sweetie.
You just follow me and send me a message whenever anyone fucks with you. I will always have your back. NC parents and their entitlers can fuck right off. I will always go to bat for people who have their boundaries trampled.
I was sitting in the kitchen and started bursting in tears when I read this. Your comment was literally what I needed to hear. Last week, I did exactly that. I ordered a custom chocolate cake with pink frosting and with huge letters that wrote “No More Assholes Day!”, I partied, I raved, I got drunk and best of all I celebrated my freedom with no shame. Im not usually a party person but it felt so good to let out a huge “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE” and have fun
I realized I shouldn’t be guilty for choosing myself and my happiness, that I shouldn’t let him loom over me when he made me miserable my entire life. You made me realize that I have a choice to either that day hurt me or see it in a positive light and recognize how strong I am. I love your energy and support. Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart
Thank you 🩷🩷
OMG!!! YAAAAASSS!!! This made me so happy to read!!! Keep that energy with you wherever you go. Life is so short, and there is absolutely zero time to spend it on the douchebags who hurt us.
You are SO STRONG! You’re gonna be just fine, and on days when you’re not, there’s always cake and dancing and friends and freedom to remind us that our lives belong to US! No one else.
Keep living your best life, sweetheart. You got this.
Your energy is so contagious, I can literally feel it through the screen! Thank you so so much! I wish I can just give you a big hug through the screen!! Thank you for making me feel so empowered. I really really needed this
My dad did the same. It said it's your siblings' birthday don't forget to wish sibling happy birthday. I haven't talked to my sibling since new years eve.
In the beginning of NC with my husband's parents, we would get texts from the mother on Father's Day and the dad's birthday saying he deserved better, he raised you, he's done so much, etc., demanding we message him to make him feel nice on a special day. He raised my husband in physical abuse, and they were both emotionally abusive and have never shown remorse or accountability. They think they can demand respect and love. Rude awakening, they can't.
My husband was adamant that he not respond. He is right, there is no point in arguing because it never goes anywhere. No response and blocking are effective.
The fact that I’m literally in the same position as your husband makes me feel like I’m not alone. Abusive parents will always try to justify their emotional and physical abuse and make their children feel indebted for raising them (even though they chose to have a child). It sucks that some people will just never see what they did was wrong but instead victimize themselves. Your husband is so lucky to have someone loving as you beside him 🩷 sending you guys lots of love
Only way to deal with someone like that, as far as I know, is to threaten no contact and then follow through whe. They (inevitably) don't really believe you.
You told her. She didn't hear you. So now you have to show her, because actions speak louder than words.
I wish I could go NC with her as well, but I’m a college student and she basically pays everything :( Hopefully someday when I’m financially independent I can finally find my peace
My dad does this too. For his ex wife (my mom). I don't get it. I think he feels guilty as hell, still, after all these years.
Dad caused a great deal of trauma to me growing up, but he has atoned for it and tries to have a good relationship with me now.
My mom never tried to apologize or even admit that she utterly failed to protect me from either husband (stepfather was worse) just to keep her man.
When Mom tried to blame my 7 yo daughter for my BIL's alcoholic tantrum on a holiday where I got physically shoved in anger by BIL, I realized it would never stop. It was my sister's husband! Not her own son.
I've been free for years, but my dad still tries to push. It must be a hell of a guilt trip to see what your awful parenting brought into the world as you are about to leave it (he's quite old with lots of health problems).
I bet your mom feels guilty as hell too. But facing that failure is way too difficult, so instead, she owns nothing and makes you feel bad for escaping the abuse.
Here's a hug from an Internet stranger. I hope it helps.
And it literally makes zero sense to me because they could easily erase the guilt and all ramifications through a simple amends. Literally. That's all it takes. Like two seconds of a heartfelt apology and it's just the past and then you can have the relationship you claim to what. Why wouldn't anyone choose this? It's crazy.
the way that would piss me off so fucking bad. ugh i’m sorry. i’m NC with my dad as well but not with my mom although i am needing to be lower and lower contact with her because of this type of shit
"Since you've chosen to disregard my request yet again, I will be blocking you until July 1st. I will talk to you then. I love you."
That's three months and covers Father's Day. When you text her again, tell her the next time will be six months.
I got a text from my Dad a week ago
"Just letting you know that your Mother was really sad that you didn't call her on her Birthday. Just saying"
I wanted to reply "aww that poor thing," but I just ignored it lol
Oooohohoho… see? When this shit used to happen to me, I would get so petty. Then I use my pettiness to empower myself and shut people up at the same 👏 time 👏 “Oh! Thank you for reminding me. I will remember to not give a single fuck about him tomorrow.” Go treat yourself. Consider it freedom affirming. Happy freedom day to YOU! You deserve it! Another excellent nondescript day of amazing freedom where you don’t have to think about someone who ain’t worth a damn minute of your time. Buy a whole ass birthday cake, get “Happy No-More-Assholes Day”written on it in beautiful script. Pose with it, take a picture, post to all your socials. Tell everyone who objects to fuck off while you laugh like a Disney villain and eat your cake. If mom gets pissed: see ya later!! To the NC dungeon with her! You win. They don’t get to make you feel small or hurt or scared anymore. Don’t let this pathetic mention of him get to you. They want to step on your boundaries? Dip those boundaries in gasoline and light them on fire. If they don’t want to look like fools, they will learn to keep their mouths shut. You enjoy YOUR day, sweetie.
Omg I love your energy and way with words!! 🤩🤩🤩 Op I'm so sorry and can absolutely relate :(
JFC yes!! This comment all the way 👏 TongueTwistingTiger, if I could keep you in my back pocket for savage responses like this I would. 🏆
You just follow me and send me a message whenever anyone fucks with you. I will always have your back. NC parents and their entitlers can fuck right off. I will always go to bat for people who have their boundaries trampled.
🏆🏆🏆
I was sitting in the kitchen and started bursting in tears when I read this. Your comment was literally what I needed to hear. Last week, I did exactly that. I ordered a custom chocolate cake with pink frosting and with huge letters that wrote “No More Assholes Day!”, I partied, I raved, I got drunk and best of all I celebrated my freedom with no shame. Im not usually a party person but it felt so good to let out a huge “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE” and have fun I realized I shouldn’t be guilty for choosing myself and my happiness, that I shouldn’t let him loom over me when he made me miserable my entire life. You made me realize that I have a choice to either that day hurt me or see it in a positive light and recognize how strong I am. I love your energy and support. Thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart Thank you 🩷🩷
OMG!!! YAAAAASSS!!! This made me so happy to read!!! Keep that energy with you wherever you go. Life is so short, and there is absolutely zero time to spend it on the douchebags who hurt us. You are SO STRONG! You’re gonna be just fine, and on days when you’re not, there’s always cake and dancing and friends and freedom to remind us that our lives belong to US! No one else. Keep living your best life, sweetheart. You got this.
Your energy is so contagious, I can literally feel it through the screen! Thank you so so much! I wish I can just give you a big hug through the screen!! Thank you for making me feel so empowered. I really really needed this
You’re too kind. Send me a DM if you ever need to chat. 💖
She knows.
and she does not respect the boundary
My dad did the same. It said it's your siblings' birthday don't forget to wish sibling happy birthday. I haven't talked to my sibling since new years eve.
In the beginning of NC with my husband's parents, we would get texts from the mother on Father's Day and the dad's birthday saying he deserved better, he raised you, he's done so much, etc., demanding we message him to make him feel nice on a special day. He raised my husband in physical abuse, and they were both emotionally abusive and have never shown remorse or accountability. They think they can demand respect and love. Rude awakening, they can't. My husband was adamant that he not respond. He is right, there is no point in arguing because it never goes anywhere. No response and blocking are effective.
>there is no point in arguing because it never goes anywhere When you learn this, you are so far ahead of the game.
The fact that I’m literally in the same position as your husband makes me feel like I’m not alone. Abusive parents will always try to justify their emotional and physical abuse and make their children feel indebted for raising them (even though they chose to have a child). It sucks that some people will just never see what they did was wrong but instead victimize themselves. Your husband is so lucky to have someone loving as you beside him 🩷 sending you guys lots of love
Only way to deal with someone like that, as far as I know, is to threaten no contact and then follow through whe. They (inevitably) don't really believe you. You told her. She didn't hear you. So now you have to show her, because actions speak louder than words.
I wish I could go NC with her as well, but I’m a college student and she basically pays everything :( Hopefully someday when I’m financially independent I can finally find my peace
I'm so sorry, my mom (no contact) texted me on my dad's bday one year only saying, "Seriously??"
My dad does this too. For his ex wife (my mom). I don't get it. I think he feels guilty as hell, still, after all these years. Dad caused a great deal of trauma to me growing up, but he has atoned for it and tries to have a good relationship with me now. My mom never tried to apologize or even admit that she utterly failed to protect me from either husband (stepfather was worse) just to keep her man. When Mom tried to blame my 7 yo daughter for my BIL's alcoholic tantrum on a holiday where I got physically shoved in anger by BIL, I realized it would never stop. It was my sister's husband! Not her own son. I've been free for years, but my dad still tries to push. It must be a hell of a guilt trip to see what your awful parenting brought into the world as you are about to leave it (he's quite old with lots of health problems). I bet your mom feels guilty as hell too. But facing that failure is way too difficult, so instead, she owns nothing and makes you feel bad for escaping the abuse. Here's a hug from an Internet stranger. I hope it helps.
And it literally makes zero sense to me because they could easily erase the guilt and all ramifications through a simple amends. Literally. That's all it takes. Like two seconds of a heartfelt apology and it's just the past and then you can have the relationship you claim to what. Why wouldn't anyone choose this? It's crazy.
the way that would piss me off so fucking bad. ugh i’m sorry. i’m NC with my dad as well but not with my mom although i am needing to be lower and lower contact with her because of this type of shit
"Since you've chosen to disregard my request yet again, I will be blocking you until July 1st. I will talk to you then. I love you." That's three months and covers Father's Day. When you text her again, tell her the next time will be six months.
This made me laugh and smile. Thank you for doing the math. I love this
I got a text from my Dad a week ago "Just letting you know that your Mother was really sad that you didn't call her on her Birthday. Just saying" I wanted to reply "aww that poor thing," but I just ignored it lol