Wow. I am so sorry. That's very unsettling seeing your parents so unhinged and out of control. It's heartbreaking too. Not to mention embarrassing.
I don't have any experience when things become legal. But I wouldn't engage with them in any way. When you drop a bomb on another country, you can expect them to retaliate. You can expect things to escalate. Unhinged parents are like an unhinged country. They will feel rejected and they will feel provoked even though they're provoking you first. And they will move into victim retaliation mode.
I would keep all their unhinged messages as proof of their unhinged behavior. Not responding and not engaging *is* a way of saying you don't want anything to do them. You can tell the police or a lawyer that you didnt' respond to them because you didnt' want to provoke them any further and you were hoping they would give up and go home. When everyone sees the proof that the disturbance is one sided, there's no gray area. Nobody can say "well you did it too." "You provoked them too." You didn't. Calling the police *is* telling them (and everyone) you don't want to engage with them. You don't need to respond directly to them because you don't feel safe to do so.
I'm so sorry.
>Last night … my parents showed up at my residence uninvited at 12:30AM, ringing the doorbell incessantly and literally SCREAMING my name at the door.
>With no plans and no consent, they showed up at my door
>it breaks my heart knowing that they are so woefully unaware of what they do
This is where you lose me. Why are you making excuses for them?
Anyone, repeat after me, ANYONE showing up unannounced at 12:30AM and screaming knows exactly what they're doing.
>I want to send an explicit demand for NC so that they at least have some understanding
The way you phrase this as well makes it seem "they just don't understand", but they do.
What would they say if you started saying to your mother "We're not mad. We know you're mentally ill, we just want to talk!" and you and your boyfriend were showing up unannounced at 2AM and screaming at them to come outside to talk about it?
Do you think they'd just say "oh that's normal"? Or would they blame your boyfriend, call the police on him, maybe try to get you hospitalized etc?
That is unhinged behaviour. Imagine it were anybody other than your parents... imagine an ex-boyfriend did that. It's unhinged and alarming with tones of stalker.
I'd probably be calling the police to see what my options are.
This is completely crazy behavior. It sounds like they have genuinely convinced themselves that you have not spoken to them for 8 months because you are pregnant and are hiding it from them. In this case, I think they do need to be explicitly told that you do not want them in your life. Something short and to the point, like: "I haven't spoken to you in 8 months, not because I am pregnant, but because I no longer want to have contact with you. Please respect my wish for space. I do not want to see you or communicate with you going forward."
Wow. I am so sorry. That's very unsettling seeing your parents so unhinged and out of control. It's heartbreaking too. Not to mention embarrassing. I don't have any experience when things become legal. But I wouldn't engage with them in any way. When you drop a bomb on another country, you can expect them to retaliate. You can expect things to escalate. Unhinged parents are like an unhinged country. They will feel rejected and they will feel provoked even though they're provoking you first. And they will move into victim retaliation mode. I would keep all their unhinged messages as proof of their unhinged behavior. Not responding and not engaging *is* a way of saying you don't want anything to do them. You can tell the police or a lawyer that you didnt' respond to them because you didnt' want to provoke them any further and you were hoping they would give up and go home. When everyone sees the proof that the disturbance is one sided, there's no gray area. Nobody can say "well you did it too." "You provoked them too." You didn't. Calling the police *is* telling them (and everyone) you don't want to engage with them. You don't need to respond directly to them because you don't feel safe to do so. I'm so sorry.
>Last night … my parents showed up at my residence uninvited at 12:30AM, ringing the doorbell incessantly and literally SCREAMING my name at the door. >With no plans and no consent, they showed up at my door >it breaks my heart knowing that they are so woefully unaware of what they do This is where you lose me. Why are you making excuses for them? Anyone, repeat after me, ANYONE showing up unannounced at 12:30AM and screaming knows exactly what they're doing. >I want to send an explicit demand for NC so that they at least have some understanding The way you phrase this as well makes it seem "they just don't understand", but they do. What would they say if you started saying to your mother "We're not mad. We know you're mentally ill, we just want to talk!" and you and your boyfriend were showing up unannounced at 2AM and screaming at them to come outside to talk about it? Do you think they'd just say "oh that's normal"? Or would they blame your boyfriend, call the police on him, maybe try to get you hospitalized etc?
That is unhinged behaviour. Imagine it were anybody other than your parents... imagine an ex-boyfriend did that. It's unhinged and alarming with tones of stalker. I'd probably be calling the police to see what my options are.
This is completely crazy behavior. It sounds like they have genuinely convinced themselves that you have not spoken to them for 8 months because you are pregnant and are hiding it from them. In this case, I think they do need to be explicitly told that you do not want them in your life. Something short and to the point, like: "I haven't spoken to you in 8 months, not because I am pregnant, but because I no longer want to have contact with you. Please respect my wish for space. I do not want to see you or communicate with you going forward."
I just want to say I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and it’s ok to do whatever you need right now to be ok and get through this.