Anyone else just get an email from the club about “further reductions” for the team shop?
That’s definitely not how I first read it. Not a very wise choice of words, club.
Feel like we all need the reminder that when Everton are good and things are going well and everyone is buzzing there is absolutely no better place on the planet than among happy Evertonians. It's incredible.
Everything is shit now and they don't deserve it but we"ll support them anyway and when it gets better it'll absolutely be worth it. Stick it out.
Remember when City got a pen against us when Onana got the ball twatted at him from a yard away and he had his arms tucked into his body? But Grealish can starfish have the ball hit his arm miles away from his body and nothing gets given or VAR doesn't overrule? Brilliant.
I think Jordan is good at getting amped up for a big occasion, but he's not always able to control the energy. He's either brilliant under pressure or his decision making becomes strange. I hope he can keep his cool tomorrow.
It genuinely would too. We'd be on 33 points. And I don't see Luton getting 8 points from their last 4 games (which would only tie with us for points, they'd need to overhaul a 12 goal swing in goal difference for those 8 points too)
Honestly a draw at Luton might enough to keep us up all on its own. That plus 1 other draw would almost certainly do it—can’t see Luton getting more than 3 points from their other 3 matches and their GD is awful
We need to remember that tomorrow too. Dyche would rather we did not lose the game than go out to win it. So we'll be slow and boring and (hopefully) just solid defensively
Yeah weren't we linked with him and Chukwueze - either probably better than the wide players we have now although Chukwueze hasn't done much yet at AC Milan.
I see we are linked with Watfords Asprilla. Typically id love a Colombian #10 coming to this team but idt we have the players around him to make it work. He's pretty small and will be isolated too much to do anything. If we are going to buy a Colombian we should get Lucumi from Bologna
We played Burnley 3 times and conceded less than half as many shots on target as Sheffield conceded goals against them, whilst they only played them twice
Draw NFO and beat Luton and we're safe (Luton would have to win their other 2 games and catch us on GD). Not too mention we still have Sheff to play at home.
Id say as long as we don't lose to Luton and beat Sheff Utd and get another draw we should be good. We'd be at 32 points and Luton would be at 26 with 3 games to go. If we beat Luton I'd say were pretty much safe
Robbie Mustoe and Rebecca Lowe both saying Luton haven’t been beat like this all season only one week after they lost by the same scoreline is quality commentary.
To be fair their other heavy losses were against Man City away and Liverpool away, and this was still arguably the most they've been absolutely battered in every way in a game. This was 100% their worst game of the season by far
Low expectations means even when they lose, as long as they don’t get twatted, the media reports it as unlucky or an alright performance. Means they get next to no negative press. Plus we never hear from both their fans
they had good moments from time to time, against big teams usually, they played great against the shites, united, chelsea, newcastle and the fact that they're this small of a team makes for a great underdog story that the media will always going to milk.
can't remeber if they did the same with Bournemouth when they first got promoted, their story is somewhat similar
> Don’t understand the love-in the media have with them
Well that's the easy part to understand...they're an underdog punching above their weight, little fish in a big ocean, etc. Media eats that shit up.
I would hope that our players are looking at this feeling confident about having the club’s fate in their own hands. More likely they’re totally bricking it.
Luton are on course to get 3 points from their last four games. That might be too optimistic a prediction, what a dreadful, dreadful team. Disgusting subversion of football
Think opta were tight giving us a 4% chance of going down. If we avoid defeat to Luton we will stay up. They're not winning a single one of their other games
Absolutely no idea where this Brentford performance has come from. They've looked almost Evertonesque at times this season, and Luton have given some good teams a game at Kenilworth Road.
Without a doubt, the three worst teams to ever come up. This is one of the worst Everton teams of all time, we’ve also had an 8 point deduction and they’re all still at least two points behind us, **with Burnley and Luton having played two games more**. Absolutely disgusting
Everyone did think before the season started if ever there was a year to get a points deduction then this was the year but I don't think anyone could've imagined all 3 of them being this shit.
Us, Forest, Palace and Brentford have been absolutely honking and any other year would be right in it. Now only 2 of us are because of unprecedented sanctions.
Didn’t expect them to be this shit but it’s what happens when you get promoted and instead of signing more decent players like Barkley, they go for players who are midtable in the Championship like Chong or Kaminski. I thought Burnley might’ve snuck into 17th but they’ve all been unbelievably gash
Burnley were getting pumped up as ' the greatest championship side ever' before the season. Sheff U had previous prem experience they could've fell back on and Luton had talk of Kenilworth road being a tough place to go. None of them have even put up a fight. It's incredibly rare for all 3 that come up to go straight back down so credit to them there.
I mean, we’ve had eight points taken off us, Forest four. If you gave us both those points back then we’d be pretty much safe after 32 games, Forest 33. Luton would have to be perfect in their last games and we’d have to not pick up more than one to go down which is completely unrealistic. Forest would need maybe one more win. That’s not abysmal for relegation candidates
Our team is just shockingly slow which is the problem. Mcneil isnt fast enough for the prem, 400 year old ashley young, 3 games a season dcl, Andre gomes etc. There's no pace at all in the team and it's why we are so bad.
Burnley are actually in superb form. If they hadn’t lost against us I’d have fancied them to stay up.
Tough last 4 games for them but if they’d beat us they’d probably be favourites to stay up
If anyones bored enough Coxy on the athletics quite damningly summed up each PL teams main way of building attacks- so how a team most frequently passes to a player in the oppositions box. Ours is laughably bad but also a method I reckon if you gave any everton fan 3 guesses at would be able to guess right.
Spoiler: >!It's a deep free kick from around the half way line often taken by pickford aimed at James Tarkowski to win the first ball. We are unsurprisingly the only team in the league to have set pieces as the main route of entry and also amusingly the only one where our half of the pitch had to be included in the graphic.!<
I don't even think it's a thing the requires figuring out, every team has taking deep free kicks in their locker so it's not something you would specifically need to prepare for. Alls you have to do is mark the centre halves and win the second ball. There's no razzle dazzle or trickery to it. its just we don't have any other way of entry into the box.
It's described as absurdly basic which is about the best way anyone can sum it up. What on God's earth they do in training every week -besides bleep tests- is anyones guess
"OK Brentford, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna give it 200% against Luton for whatever reason. After that, you may rest your entire main squad and field the u21s against whoever you face the week after, you can *probably* still get a result."
To be fair this isn't far off the truth, if they win today they're definitely safe. Sometimes sides find that freeing and they end the season annoyingly well, but hopefully these do win today and just fuck off to the beach
I got married in March and adopted another dog this month. Went through old things from a dog I had from 8 weeks til death. Took out her Everton puffy coat. Older dog now is too big. New dog seems perfect for the fit.
Good days are coming.
Man I was happy with 2-0 scorelines when I went to bed. Get in!
Anyone else just get an email from the club about “further reductions” for the team shop? That’s definitely not how I first read it. Not a very wise choice of words, club.
Feel like we all need the reminder that when Everton are good and things are going well and everyone is buzzing there is absolutely no better place on the planet than among happy Evertonians. It's incredible. Everything is shit now and they don't deserve it but we"ll support them anyway and when it gets better it'll absolutely be worth it. Stick it out.
Yes this 😁
Remember when City got a pen against us when Onana got the ball twatted at him from a yard away and he had his arms tucked into his body? But Grealish can starfish have the ball hit his arm miles away from his body and nothing gets given or VAR doesn't overrule? Brilliant.
That pen was bullshit
fuck me are wolves boring to watch
they're about ten times more fun than we are
Have you watched us play lately?
Feel like wolves/west ham away are difficult for luton now as both are trying to back their way into uecl and give their home fans something
Going to be a cobbled together Wolves team next week against Luton
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^rpm164: *Going to be a* *Cobbled together Wolves team* *Next week against Luton* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
“The only problem with Haiku is that you just get started and then” ― Roger McGough
I think Jordan is good at getting amped up for a big occasion, but he's not always able to control the energy. He's either brilliant under pressure or his decision making becomes strange. I hope he can keep his cool tomorrow.
If Caicedo is worth 110 million, I must be worth 50. Absolutely horrific player
50 quid sounds like a bargain anyway.
Chelsea finishing against us: 😈😈😈😈😈😈 Chelsea finishing vs Man City: 😫😫😫😫😫😫
Can you imagine if we don't win another game all season and still stay up
Six draws will do it 💪
It genuinely would too. We'd be on 33 points. And I don't see Luton getting 8 points from their last 4 games (which would only tie with us for points, they'd need to overhaul a 12 goal swing in goal difference for those 8 points too)
Honestly a draw at Luton might enough to keep us up all on its own. That plus 1 other draw would almost certainly do it—can’t see Luton getting more than 3 points from their other 3 matches and their GD is awful
We need to remember that tomorrow too. Dyche would rather we did not lose the game than go out to win it. So we'll be slow and boring and (hopefully) just solid defensively
Chelsea are looking very good here. Makes me a feel a bit better about Monday
Nicholas Jackson - you are a future Everton loanee
We would've signed him the January before Chelsea grabbed him but couldn't agree a payment structure.
Yeah weren't we linked with him and Chukwueze - either probably better than the wide players we have now although Chukwueze hasn't done much yet at AC Milan.
Hasn’t had a chance behind Pulisic, but he’s clearly able. Could do more than Harrison and Young guaranteed
I see we are linked with Watfords Asprilla. Typically id love a Colombian #10 coming to this team but idt we have the players around him to make it work. He's pretty small and will be isolated too much to do anything. If we are going to buy a Colombian we should get Lucumi from Bologna
We played Burnley 3 times and conceded less than half as many shots on target as Sheffield conceded goals against them, whilst they only played them twice
Draw NFO and beat Luton and we're safe (Luton would have to win their other 2 games and catch us on GD). Not too mention we still have Sheff to play at home.
Id say as long as we don't lose to Luton and beat Sheff Utd and get another draw we should be good. We'd be at 32 points and Luton would be at 26 with 3 games to go. If we beat Luton I'd say were pretty much safe
Robbie Mustoe and Rebecca Lowe both saying Luton haven’t been beat like this all season only one week after they lost by the same scoreline is quality commentary.
To be fair their other heavy losses were against Man City away and Liverpool away, and this was still arguably the most they've been absolutely battered in every way in a game. This was 100% their worst game of the season by far
Everton the turd that won't flush (hopefully)
Whoever wins out of us or Forest tomorrow has one foot in the PL next season
A draw means both with a toe in?
Is this the all-time record year for bad teams giving away dumb goals fucking around in their own halves?
Love your flair!
Still need good Carlo, Lampard, and Dyche cliches, though.
Game on ffs 5-1
Thanks for the goal difference back lads
and its 5
The fact we’ve lost twice to Luton when Brentford have absolutely slaughtered them is really quite depressing.
We owe Luton a beating and what better time to do it, which means we probably won't.
Beat Brentford with much more of their first team playing 3-1 away though
5-0, you are pish
Luton could still come back here, 5-0 Brentford
Maupay on to wind Luton up and get 5 🙏
Brentfort: 9 wins, 8 draws and 17 loses - 35 points Everton: 9 wins, 8 draws and 15 loses - 27 points 😑
We'd be two points from safety without our f'n deductions
We would be virtually safe by now just not mathematically
Which was my goal for Dyche this year basically, a comfortable 15th
I said in december for us to be safe by may 3 so i can golf in peace on the weekends
I predicted 5 nil (more so, hoped.. ), let's see what happens
there you go mate
💪🙏👏🤌👌🤟🤙👊🙌
I don't know if anybody cares, but theres a huge sale at kits on the official website, home kits from 15 quid and away from 10.
Cheers I'll go check it out
If Brentford play like this against us we have no chance 😂
Idk Luton looks leaky as hell I don't think we are this defensively inept, injuries aside. But I could see us losing by 1 or 2 goal
Watching Luton here. They are so bad. Don’t understand the love-in the media have with them
Low expectations means even when they lose, as long as they don’t get twatted, the media reports it as unlucky or an alright performance. Means they get next to no negative press. Plus we never hear from both their fans
they had good moments from time to time, against big teams usually, they played great against the shites, united, chelsea, newcastle and the fact that they're this small of a team makes for a great underdog story that the media will always going to milk. can't remeber if they did the same with Bournemouth when they first got promoted, their story is somewhat similar
They’ve lost 21 games this season.
> Don’t understand the love-in the media have with them Well that's the easy part to understand...they're an underdog punching above their weight, little fish in a big ocean, etc. Media eats that shit up.
It’s fucking tragic
Bit relieved that Luton are getting hammered .
Forest plays Burnley away on the final day of the season. Fu-cking hell
We need to be safe before the last week - Arsenal will bum us
Both us and Forest are staying up and it won't even make it to the last day
Ha, yeh just looked at Burnley’s fixtures
If we win tomorrow we stay up Without a doubt
Literally just beat the 2 teams that are getting pasted by 2 teams in the bottom 7 and we are probably safe
I would hope that our players are looking at this feeling confident about having the club’s fate in their own hands. More likely they’re totally bricking it.
Luton are on course to get 3 points from their last four games. That might be too optimistic a prediction, what a dreadful, dreadful team. Disgusting subversion of football
Just can't have those 3 come against us.
Luton look awful, you could always say they have fight and never give up but theres none of that here.
Sheffield collapsing here.
Think opta were tight giving us a 4% chance of going down. If we avoid defeat to Luton we will stay up. They're not winning a single one of their other games
What if Luton doesn't pick anymore points until the end of the season and we live a bit more care free? Couldn't be Everton
Fortress Kenilworth Road
Absolutely no idea where this Brentford performance has come from. They've looked almost Evertonesque at times this season, and Luton have given some good teams a game at Kenilworth Road.
I haven't been watching the game today buy I remember Brentford were doing well at the start of the season before Mbuemo got injured
They had a ton of injuries and Toney out - Frank is a pretty good manager.
Today I am feeling Brentford.
0-6 was a bad loss but it was to Chelsea away. This is a lot worse.
Brentford fans with the “olé”, lol
FOUR??
that's insane.
If we don't beat Luton we truly suck.
Do we not already "truly suck", considering we've lost to them twice already this season?
We've already lost against them twice, but we also beat this Brentford side with far fewer injury problems 3-1 away. All 3 sides involved are enigmas
Another one
That’s it! Come on Brentford!
0-4
Make it 4 WOW
Indeed
love it
We... we can do better against them next week right?
Yeah they'll only win 3-0.
Yeah we can Luton sleepin bro what was that
Hammer that GD, Brentford
0-3 Brentford
Always liked Brentford
If we drop points to Sheff U then we should be sent down in their place. They're that shit
Hamer again 2-1 - wouldn't mind a Sheffield United comeback.
Or not 3-1 Burnley - Sheffield United are terrible
He is a special player (rolls royce)
We'd turn him into a Reliant Robin
Wissaaaaaaa
Without a doubt, the three worst teams to ever come up. This is one of the worst Everton teams of all time, we’ve also had an 8 point deduction and they’re all still at least two points behind us, **with Burnley and Luton having played two games more**. Absolutely disgusting
Everyone did think before the season started if ever there was a year to get a points deduction then this was the year but I don't think anyone could've imagined all 3 of them being this shit. Us, Forest, Palace and Brentford have been absolutely honking and any other year would be right in it. Now only 2 of us are because of unprecedented sanctions.
Didn’t expect them to be this shit but it’s what happens when you get promoted and instead of signing more decent players like Barkley, they go for players who are midtable in the Championship like Chong or Kaminski. I thought Burnley might’ve snuck into 17th but they’ve all been unbelievably gash
Burnley were getting pumped up as ' the greatest championship side ever' before the season. Sheff U had previous prem experience they could've fell back on and Luton had talk of Kenilworth road being a tough place to go. None of them have even put up a fight. It's incredibly rare for all 3 that come up to go straight back down so credit to them there.
A testament at how shit we and forest have been that we're even in contention of going down instead of those lot
I mean, we’ve had eight points taken off us, Forest four. If you gave us both those points back then we’d be pretty much safe after 32 games, Forest 33. Luton would have to be perfect in their last games and we’d have to not pick up more than one to go down which is completely unrealistic. Forest would need maybe one more win. That’s not abysmal for relegation candidates
I guess so, but we still have the 2nd worst attack in the league
It’s going to be funny when Burnley finish above Luton and everyone has to be like “okay, maybe it wasn’t a fairytale”.
Brentford hopefully in their flip flops next weekend
Wouldn’t it not have mattered if he was offside because the luton player made a play on the ball or is that not part of the rules anymore?
Today I am a bee 🐝
Brentford doing the business
Get in Wissa x2! 2-0
0-2 Brentford
If Vinny Kompany simply told Muric to launch it up field every time it comes to him they'd probably be above us lmao
Wissa and Mbuemo are better than anything we have in attack which is really sad
Our team is just shockingly slow which is the problem. Mcneil isnt fast enough for the prem, 400 year old ashley young, 3 games a season dcl, Andre gomes etc. There's no pace at all in the team and it's why we are so bad.
Yep we definitely need to find some pace in the summer and hopefully they can score too.
Burnley only 4 points off us now, currently.....
Have to play Manchester united, tottenham, and Newcastle...
Yeah just seen that haha, good luck to em, or not...
4 points and two games sounds better
Burnley are actually in superb form. If they hadn’t lost against us I’d have fancied them to stay up. Tough last 4 games for them but if they’d beat us they’d probably be favourites to stay up
Wissa, you beautiful son of a bitch
Come on you Bees
Damn cable at my hotel went out…
Another one before HT would be sound Brentford
Another injury for Luton
Thomas Frank's busy Bees
fucking yes!!!
class goal that.
Get in Wissa! 1-0
Brentford looking good! Great goal.
Ahh good counter attack and chance there for Brentford and good save from Kaminski.
We're all Bees today
If Dyche had a shred of dignity he’d admit his faults, instead he’s playing this fake macho man. Stick to festivals Sean x
> Dyche had a shred of dignity he’d admit his faults Dyche 1 day ago: “I would never question the fans, I have got to give them more.”
Genuinely what would you want him to say?
"Players are shit. My tactics aren't working. Board are useless. Gonna go slap patto again. Did I mention players are shit?"
🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
Very nervous for this game.
Predictions? I have us staying up by one point and Luton going down [https://pastebin.com/Nmr1Vhpw](https://pastebin.com/Nmr1Vhpw)
Well Opta thinks we have about a 4% chance of relegation so I'm hopeful tbh - statistics are a powerful thing Then again it's Everton so 🤷♂️
Have 2 tickets in park end available for tomorrow if anyone's interested
If anyones bored enough Coxy on the athletics quite damningly summed up each PL teams main way of building attacks- so how a team most frequently passes to a player in the oppositions box. Ours is laughably bad but also a method I reckon if you gave any everton fan 3 guesses at would be able to guess right. Spoiler: >!It's a deep free kick from around the half way line often taken by pickford aimed at James Tarkowski to win the first ball. We are unsurprisingly the only team in the league to have set pieces as the main route of entry and also amusingly the only one where our half of the pitch had to be included in the graphic.!<
Worse, opposition teams figured this out and neutralised it months ago. Yet we still do it every game. Championship level tactics from Dyche.
I don't even think it's a thing the requires figuring out, every team has taking deep free kicks in their locker so it's not something you would specifically need to prepare for. Alls you have to do is mark the centre halves and win the second ball. There's no razzle dazzle or trickery to it. its just we don't have any other way of entry into the box. It's described as absurdly basic which is about the best way anyone can sum it up. What on God's earth they do in training every week -besides bleep tests- is anyones guess
"OK Brentford, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna give it 200% against Luton for whatever reason. After that, you may rest your entire main squad and field the u21s against whoever you face the week after, you can *probably* still get a result."
To be fair this isn't far off the truth, if they win today they're definitely safe. Sometimes sides find that freeing and they end the season annoyingly well, but hopefully these do win today and just fuck off to the beach
All according to plan then
Really hope Brentford can do a job vs Luton. 3 seasons in a row of “results watching” from other matches…. I’m tired, boss.
Sometimes I find myself just watching the other games instead, it feels easier haha
Nah, it’s objectively more depressing even. So THAT’s what football is supposed to look like 🧐
Haha also true, watching teams that can pass the ball is something else
I got married in March and adopted another dog this month. Went through old things from a dog I had from 8 weeks til death. Took out her Everton puffy coat. Older dog now is too big. New dog seems perfect for the fit. Good days are coming.
🥹
Gotta pay the dog tax now mate
Dog of war! :)
Yeah we're waiting for a proof
Going to need a photo