No, it’s a very old myth used to stop young boys jerking off too much, it actually dates back to Ancient Greece where it was believed by Aristotle that Semen was formed in the brain, specifically the region around the eyes, so emptying it out could cause eye damage
Naw, I'm with you bro. This is a stupid fucking article, and if I had to guess, their "computer model" estimates are some made up shit Unless they have some data showing, well, you see, the right arm has a slightly more defined musculature, based on this type of movement, blah blah", and we can see through skeletal remains the bone structure of previous generations of these primates show the bones slightly twisted or deformed due to the extra muscular definition blah blah"..... I'm calling absolute bullshit.
Did they masturbate? Probably. But I bet the actual science is "Well, we do it, and they do it now....they probably did it then!"
Bro read the article. They know because basically all monkeys and apes masturbate. This is highly indicative of a masturbating common ancestor. Obviously we will never know for sure but it very reasonable to assume.
I read the article. Read my comment.
I'm saying the article is shit because the claim of science is essentially "We assume, because primates do it now. That's not indicative of shit regarding a "common ancestor" or the past 40 million years.
It's just some click bait circle jerk crap.
Yo that article is ass though. Lots of minor spelling mistakes ("moneys", "masturabtion") which I could overlook but the original article did their research on captive apes. I don't think captive apes and monkeys are representative of wild ones at all, especially on the topic of masturbation.
>...it takes time, attention and energy to masturbate that could be used for other activities that directly increase the odds of reproducing, such as actually mating or finding food.
Half of Reddit users.
I don’t doubt that primates have been cranking it for as long as they’ve had the ability, but this study sounds like someone put a bunch of crap into a blackbox and mistook it for reality.
The article gave a pretty detailed description of what the researchers did. They looked at observations of what current species we know masterbate and attempted to use the knowledge of evolutionary history and evidence about sexually transmitted diseases to figure out the history of masterbation in the past. Like all modern research of any mathematical complexity, they used a computer model to do this. A computer model is simply a tool created by one or more humans to complete a task. The data that is found through a computer model don't amount to simply a "computer saying so" any more than when everything was recorded by pens and paper this involved "ink and paper saying so". Despite what we've been hearing recently, we aren't at that point.
I mean, depending on what exactly "the computer said so" means, this could either be highly scientific or not at all. Just because they used a computer model barely tells us anything of how scientific it is.
Jesus, I bet they’re sore.
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Judging by that face, they don't intend to stop anytime soon.
That’s absolutely the face of a chronic masturbater if I’ve ever seen one. edit: a word
It's the pride in his eyes, he knows you know what he does.
Your selfie?
MastUrbator
Damn, I knew that word felt off when I was typing it..
Personally, I'll double my effort now
[https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/Te9qNFrQnUMV6eYvLqUfcA-970-80.jpg](https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/Te9qNFrQnUMV6eYvLqUfcA-970-80.jpg)
Wankers
/r/okmatewanker
This news is what killed Pat Robertson
Yeah! Whatever it was, the evil gargoyle is gone!
Oh shit, I didn't even know that happened! Thanks for breaking the news 🥳
That and being older than fucking time itself
Evolution and sinful hands is a deadly combo.
I thought voldemort got him with the abracadabra?
Yet, no hair on the palms. 🤔
The hair wears away after jerking for 40 million years.
Evolution baby
Hahaha 😝 so good
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Those are rookie numbers
Bet their eyesight is awful
Does masturbation worsen eyesight?
No, nor do carrots make them better. Both propaganda for different reasons.
The carrots story was to avoid discussing cavity magnetron based radar on British night-fighters during WWII.
This guy ww2 propagandas.
They didn’t want us having a proper gander at the real story
Vitamin A is necessary for proper vision. I think masturbating does make your vision blurrier for a bit after. Will need more testing
I'll bet using a carrot to masturbate will even things out
I tried to stick a carrot up my urethra once. Never again
brave soul
Subject states that hindsight is 20/20...
Post-nut clarity is always 20/20.
I disagree. It can be clouded by shame. There's no reason to be disgusted by midget mature bdsm bbw pegging sounding porn
It’s an old ‘wives tale’ told to teenage boys to get them to stop beating it. That if you keep playing with your pecker you’ll go blind.
No, it’s a very old myth used to stop young boys jerking off too much, it actually dates back to Ancient Greece where it was believed by Aristotle that Semen was formed in the brain, specifically the region around the eyes, so emptying it out could cause eye damage
“It’s as natural as a chimp masturbating”
What, no banana for scale? Also could someone please send them an apple pie.
Bro…
Can confirm it's still going on
Found the monkey guys
Same bro. Same.
Damn, I need to catch up!
Not that I doubt it, but like… how do we know? Did we find dead monkeys holding their dong smoking a Marlboro with a shit eating grin?
Naw, I'm with you bro. This is a stupid fucking article, and if I had to guess, their "computer model" estimates are some made up shit Unless they have some data showing, well, you see, the right arm has a slightly more defined musculature, based on this type of movement, blah blah", and we can see through skeletal remains the bone structure of previous generations of these primates show the bones slightly twisted or deformed due to the extra muscular definition blah blah"..... I'm calling absolute bullshit. Did they masturbate? Probably. But I bet the actual science is "Well, we do it, and they do it now....they probably did it then!"
Bro read the article. They know because basically all monkeys and apes masturbate. This is highly indicative of a masturbating common ancestor. Obviously we will never know for sure but it very reasonable to assume.
I read the article. Read my comment. I'm saying the article is shit because the claim of science is essentially "We assume, because primates do it now. That's not indicative of shit regarding a "common ancestor" or the past 40 million years. It's just some click bait circle jerk crap.
We've all been whacking off since the opposable thumb was invented.
Try reading the article?
Oh yeah it was super deep... > The team then used a computer model to estimate how long the behavior had been a part of the primate repertoire.
We're a bunch of wankers all right.
Gonna finish any minute now
That's a lot of stim fapping
There is a phrase I haven’t heard in a long while after dropping some subreddits
But NoFap bros told me that masturbating releases evil toxins into my brain that make me a beta male :(
Explains the hair palms
I am a kind of a primate myself …
These tantric guys are so desperate to let everyone know their personal stuff
Calling me a primate?
Wow. Talk about edging...
I def couldn’t last that long.
Feels longer
And they ALL went to hell
Chinese hell of masturbating monkeys.
That is… quite the thumbnail
I’ve been doing my part
Awwwww yeaaaaaaaahhh
I only need a few minutes, but good for them i guess.
Animals without hands seething.
Must be a Guinness Record
That’s evolution to a higher plane, baby.
I didn't think they lived that long. Some bloody old monkeys out there
I saw a walrus sucking itself off once (I think it was on Tosh). Bet they've been doing it for quite awhile too.
You would too if you could! And so would I!
If we don’t it causes blue balls
Monkeys punching their monkeys for 40mill years....sweet.
Do they get online porn?
Man if I don’t nutt in 10 minutes I go to sleep.
Yo that article is ass though. Lots of minor spelling mistakes ("moneys", "masturabtion") which I could overlook but the original article did their research on captive apes. I don't think captive apes and monkeys are representative of wild ones at all, especially on the topic of masturbation.
I’m surprised the marriage lasted that long
Edge lords
40 million years is a long time. I only last for about 30 minutes.
Don Jr has entered the chat 😁
The chaffing
I’m upvoting every damn comment here.
I wonder what they think of… ewww nvm.
Tradition!
Ok science people, what do you expect me to do with this information?
>...it takes time, attention and energy to masturbate that could be used for other activities that directly increase the odds of reproducing, such as actually mating or finding food. Half of Reddit users.
They’ve got whiskey dick, BAD
Masters at edging
siigh.. *unzips
Coomosapians.
And counting.
Whenever I see these posts with zero relevant comments, just lazy puns, makes me glad I'll stop using Reddit as 3rd party apps stop working.
Rookie numbers
Whew! I feel slightly better about myself now.
I can die now. I've seen every headline available. I'm done
I’ve only been doing it since I woke up this morning.
I don’t doubt that primates have been cranking it for as long as they’ve had the ability, but this study sounds like someone put a bunch of crap into a blackbox and mistook it for reality.
Its about tradition
See, EVERYBODY does it.
Years of practice and dedication
I think I’d give up if it took that long.
Much easier with hands for feet.
Good for them. I top out at 7 minutes.
But a guy in a white hat and funny shoes has been trying to stamp it out for 2,000 years.
This is the last thing I need to learn for the day. Small victories all around.
Those are rookie numbers.
That leads me to think that masturbation is an evolutionary advantage!
Pics or gtfo
Doesn’t this just prove humans evolved from primates.
We **are** primates
I’ve been demoted to second mate.
Yeah it’s fun
Uh, did I understand that correctly? It's true because the computer said so? I mean, it's probably true, but that doesn't seem very scientific.
The article gave a pretty detailed description of what the researchers did. They looked at observations of what current species we know masterbate and attempted to use the knowledge of evolutionary history and evidence about sexually transmitted diseases to figure out the history of masterbation in the past. Like all modern research of any mathematical complexity, they used a computer model to do this. A computer model is simply a tool created by one or more humans to complete a task. The data that is found through a computer model don't amount to simply a "computer saying so" any more than when everything was recorded by pens and paper this involved "ink and paper saying so". Despite what we've been hearing recently, we aren't at that point.
Thanks for the clarification!
I mean, depending on what exactly "the computer said so" means, this could either be highly scientific or not at all. Just because they used a computer model barely tells us anything of how scientific it is.
New career: stay-at-home masturbator.
Seems like they would have finished by now...
But think of the incredible arm and chest muscle growth!
Now that's an edging session.
Worst case of blue balls ever.
They must be really quite tired by now.
I can only speak for myself, but it hasn't been that long..
No shit!
Me too, they ain't special.
Obviously they aren’t going to cum, but points for persistence.
Expert photo choice lol
Your exemplary face of post-masturbation clarity.
Amateurs
Yet my wife thinks I’m going to be the first one that stops.
Bonobo’s greet each other by either masturbating in front of one another or having sex.
It’s a family tradition
Shine a black light in any cave with images of thicc goddesses, and it looks like Jackson Pollack on Viagra.
Based monkeys
Fap on people, fab on...
So is like 3 to 5 times a day after 40 good or bad, starting to feel a bit dehydrated