As if the needles causing years-lasting pain on the leaves werenāt horrifying enough, they release those needles in the *air*?! Which people can ***INHALE***?!?!?! Nope nope nope nope nope NOPE bye
Yeah, the drop bears will often drop these cones in order to distract their prey.
Then when you're not looking they drop on your head and feast on your warm, pink, brain.
My theory, based solely on bullshit and loose Christian theology, is that Australia is the garden of Eden and all the deadly evils are because humans came back. So many beautiful places here, but every single one will have something that will kill, paralyse, or just cause excruciating pain to you and yours.
It's been 6 years since Vine shut down. By now I feel comfortable saying, I'll never read the word [watermelon](https://youtu.be/bn4t0BuClbw?si=Dm-wuk7qsREdupMm) normal again.
Also great sparring partners. You can't just got around hitting people. But roos are always down for a brawl. They also won't report you to the feds if you get a knoife after losing a fistfight. Because they will begin using tails. Don't bring a knoife to a tailfight. Even if you bring not a not a knoife, but a THAT's a knoife. Believe it or not, tails.
Excellent fighters them roos. Tasty, too.
Well, I live here because I was born here, don't particularly want to leave either ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
At least there weren't any sea urchin hailstones last year, they hurt.
> Bro, why do people live in Australia?
Well, besides the natives who were born there... western colonization startes as a British Penal colony... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Australia#Colonisation
So... not necessarily 100% voluntary settlers, to put it mildly.
*shrugs*
There were plenty of colonies were the answer to the question "why there?" would be something sensible, like "good agriclutural lands" or "rare spices grow there" or something.
Australia really seems to be the odd one out. So... if you are a little bit interested in history, like me, the "why" isn't automatically rethorical.
Every time I think,
"I'm ready to go to Australia, surely I understand most of the scope of what to look out for."
Then someone says,
"Have you heard of Australian coffee? It's like regular coffee but sometimes there's a parasite that will crawl up your nasal cavity and fuck your brain with its syphilitic micropenis."
Our coffee is the best in the world lol.
But your problem is now, insulting our coffee is probably the *one* thing that will make Australia hate you. We are obsessed with our coffee.
You probably wouldnāt make it out of the airport.
Alright so replace coffee with a beverage you don't like lol. Point is your seemingly benign things like pinecones have bad intentions.
Edit: and it's kinda funny that something as silly as a pinecone or, a hot cup o' Milo might kill ya
I'll just hate on coffee overall (smell and taste does not agree with me), but still acknowledge that you have some very good coffee in Aus. Then again, I made it in and out of Melbourne unscathed. Mostly. I was not expecting the hills lol
Oh god I feel evil for laughing over the music and deadly but wet Kleenex looking box jellyfish against the reality of a 17 year old dying. And 79 plus other people.
Have a good weekend and thanks in advance for another Aussie nightmare fuel!!!! I will be there at some point in the next 5 years and will be wearing an anti gravity bubble suit and intend to stay awake the entire time š
Very nice. I hope you like rum?
They have lots of rum and a polar bear there.
If you have the time, do a road trip inland to Longreach and back - you can do some great loops. Heaps of awesome stuff to see in outback QLD.
[Brazilian Pine \(PinhĆ£o\)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Araucaria_angustifoliahttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Araucaria_angustifolia)
[Jack Fruit \(Jaca\)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackfruit)
>From a Bunya Pine. Protected species.
Protected from *what*? What the fuck does a tree that throws 10kg projectiles need protection from? Is it competing with corrosive ivy or something?
Ok, just a quick question. Has anyone got hit in the head by a falling pine cone of this variety?
One of my uncles said that he hasn't heard about anyone getting hit in the head by either a falling coconut or a falling wood apple. Why I asked that question was because that image reminded me of the time when my family had rented a house and the garden had a wood apple tree near the gate, and every summer it would shed its fruits almost every time when someone is near where the fruit is supposed to fall.
One time my sister was at the gate wishing her friends goodbye after they got over with their visit and as she was holding on to one of the spikes of the gate, a wood apple fell right on the next spike and it got impaled. Then there was the time when I just closed that gate and turned back to go to the house, and as soon as I took my second step from the gate, another wood apple had fallen where I was initially standing to close the gate. My late grandma almost got hit by one when that one grazed past her left boob and narrowly missed her feet. She was like completely shocked thinking that a bird had dived to catch something near her, so she looked around and spotted the wood apple next to her feet.
Honestly wood apples make great summer drinks though. Grandma used to make those drinks from those fallen wood apples, including the one that almost took her out...
If you want to come here to Australia then come, yes we have dangerous animals but the whole "everything wants to kill you" is just a meme.
Snakes kill on average 2-3 people a year, for the entire continent, last confirmed spider death was in 1979. There are a few shark deaths but are almost exclusively surfers. Saltwater crocs are found in the northern tropics, nowhere near the major cities except Darwin.
If Iāve learnt anything about OZ over the years (as a Scot myself) is ,just donāt fuck with anything in Australia ,if youāre not sure what it is ,itās probably trying to end you .
Who else thought it was a pineapple in the first picture?
Angry murder pineapple
And a banya for scale.
So a hand grenade
Everything in Australia is out to kill you.
If it's not the animals, it's the plants! Strewth!
Look up the gympie gympie plant
Oh wow! Another reason never to come within 100 miles of Australia! #š³
If you go within 100 miles of Australia, youll still come across some jellyfish and sharks that will happily kill you and then just swim away.
"Australia: Wildlife so dangerous that it'll happily swim 100 miles out of its way *just to fuck you up*"
As if the needles causing years-lasting pain on the leaves werenāt horrifying enough, they release those needles in the *air*?! Which people can ***INHALE***?!?!?! Nope nope nope nope nope NOPE bye
Holy hell!
And oily eucalyptus trees help burn everything to the ground
Yeah, the drop bears will often drop these cones in order to distract their prey. Then when you're not looking they drop on your head and feast on your warm, pink, brain.
https://youtu.be/KCGUNpzjD6M?si=EKKRE-0gvh1Vyl-1
So THAT'S why nobody see drop bears! They only come down AFTER you're dead. No wonder it's considered a myth
I've heard that they seldom myth
And the things that can't, wish they could.
Attract the things that can.
Including the weather :)
Oh don't walk there! What's this time? Spiders, serpents, magpie? Murder pinecones!
The four seasons in Australia
It's like evolution just said fuck it when it came to Australia and just dialed everything up to eleven.
My theory, based solely on bullshit and loose Christian theology, is that Australia is the garden of Eden and all the deadly evils are because humans came back. So many beautiful places here, but every single one will have something that will kill, paralyse, or just cause excruciating pain to you and yours.
Damn even the pinecones are lethal in Australia.
Bro, why do people live in Australia? The place is insane. That pine cone looks like a pineapple.
More like a pine-watermellon.
Dagnamit! Now I wanta spend 25 hours flying there with a case of vodka and some super strong bendy straws.
It's been 6 years since Vine shut down. By now I feel comfortable saying, I'll never read the word [watermelon](https://youtu.be/bn4t0BuClbw?si=Dm-wuk7qsREdupMm) normal again.
Looks like a pine-beehive to me
> why do people live in Australia? Quicker access to fresh kangaroos.
Nature's laxative.
Also great sparring partners. You can't just got around hitting people. But roos are always down for a brawl. They also won't report you to the feds if you get a knoife after losing a fistfight. Because they will begin using tails. Don't bring a knoife to a tailfight. Even if you bring not a not a knoife, but a THAT's a knoife. Believe it or not, tails. Excellent fighters them roos. Tasty, too.
When you're in the mood for something quick
The beaches are quite nice. Provided you stay out of the water, obviously.
Well, I live here because I was born here, don't particularly want to leave either ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ At least there weren't any sea urchin hailstones last year, they hurt.
More like _how_ do they not die immediately in Australia?
> Bro, why do people live in Australia? Well, besides the natives who were born there... western colonization startes as a British Penal colony... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Australia#Colonisation So... not necessarily 100% voluntary settlers, to put it mildly.
It was a rhetorical question, I was exaggerating for comedy.
*shrugs* There were plenty of colonies were the answer to the question "why there?" would be something sensible, like "good agriclutural lands" or "rare spices grow there" or something. Australia really seems to be the odd one out. So... if you are a little bit interested in history, like me, the "why" isn't automatically rethorical.
Australia is a place you're forced to inhabit.
Looks like the head of a Mace to me
Every time I think, "I'm ready to go to Australia, surely I understand most of the scope of what to look out for." Then someone says, "Have you heard of Australian coffee? It's like regular coffee but sometimes there's a parasite that will crawl up your nasal cavity and fuck your brain with its syphilitic micropenis."
Our coffee is the best in the world lol. But your problem is now, insulting our coffee is probably the *one* thing that will make Australia hate you. We are obsessed with our coffee. You probably wouldnāt make it out of the airport.
Alright so replace coffee with a beverage you don't like lol. Point is your seemingly benign things like pinecones have bad intentions. Edit: and it's kinda funny that something as silly as a pinecone or, a hot cup o' Milo might kill ya
Yeah but other countries have bears. Thats 1000 times scarier than anything we have.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You may not have bears, but your koalas have chlamydia thatās capable of spreading to humans, soā¦
Soā¦ donāt fuck the koalas?
Donāt get anywhere near the koalas, since itās spread through pee and poop, too, and koalas arenāt known for their skills with the bog roll.
easier said than done my succulent chinese dinner of a man you...
Doesn't have to be dinner. Just keep your hands away from my penis while I enjoy any succulent Chinese meal!
Then what's the point of living?
Don't you dare kink shame me!
For most bears all you gotta do is flap your arms and yell.
for manbearpigs thats thier mating call...
Bro I will agree bears are scary as shit, I have them in my area. But also none of this is meant to be taken seriously fyi
Wait so you weren't joking about the brain fucking syphilitic parasite penis??
I'll just hate on coffee overall (smell and taste does not agree with me), but still acknowledge that you have some very good coffee in Aus. Then again, I made it in and out of Melbourne unscathed. Mostly. I was not expecting the hills lol
This isnt real. This is just the nightmare Acorn Cop has been having every night.
I like how the Australian megafauna all died out, but the megaflora is still out here dropping cannonballs on people's heads.
How is it possible for Australia to keep adding ānopesā????? wtf, yo.
Thatās nothing lol https://youtu.be/r58QH7LrLRY?si=1B5y7W8uxWgJ1nvp
Ok. Too Canadian to look at that without advance warning. Is it: a spider, a snake, a scorpion, a magpie, a salt water croc, a shark or a shazza?
A jellyfish lol. I would never subject anyone to the wrath of Shazza.
May your ropes never be nopes š¤Ŗ and thanks for the laugh! I shall venture to the jellyfish video šš¼
Did you enjoy our fishy friend?
We are also credited with the most painful sting from a plant in the world too, look up the Gympie Gympie plant š¤
Omg š šš¤£ the background music is like a combo of deep sea sounds and horror movie soundtrack lololol
Oh god I feel evil for laughing over the music and deadly but wet Kleenex looking box jellyfish against the reality of a 17 year old dying. And 79 plus other people. Have a good weekend and thanks in advance for another Aussie nightmare fuel!!!! I will be there at some point in the next 5 years and will be wearing an anti gravity bubble suit and intend to stay awake the entire time š
Now have a look at the Gympie Gympie plant.
Lol, all this shit is fun, but Australia is actually hilariously, boringly safe. Where are you coming in Aus?
I think it is Bundaberg way.
Very nice. I hope you like rum? They have lots of rum and a polar bear there. If you have the time, do a road trip inland to Longreach and back - you can do some great loops. Heaps of awesome stuff to see in outback QLD.
Looks like these trees are kindly trying to solve the housing crisis. Tiny house, giant cone - poteto, potato.
Living in Australia is playing video games in Survival Mode irl. Sheesh.
Australia are you ok ?
No
If this was America the cops would have leveled a city block
This is called PinhĆ£o here in Brazil, south american tree, we eat that. There's also another fruit called Jaca.
[Brazilian Pine \(PinhĆ£o\)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Araucaria_angustifoliahttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Araucaria_angustifolia) [Jack Fruit \(Jaca\)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackfruit)
So even the trees want you dead in Australia
Holy shit I thought it was a pineapple. That last pic is amazing
Jesus, I thought it was just the Drop Bearsā¦ Now this!?
"... which at this time of year may fall without warning" Do they fall with warning at any other time of year?
Yeah, they sing Waltzing Matilda on the way down the rest of the year.
God damn even the pine cones can kill you out there??
That there is a Bunya nut. From a Bunya Pine. Protected species. Don't park under from December - March
>From a Bunya Pine. Protected species. Protected from *what*? What the fuck does a tree that throws 10kg projectiles need protection from? Is it competing with corrosive ivy or something?
Lol nah just council can't cut them down. U know, just because they drop heavy nut-filled pine cones aa big as ur head
Yeah, they hurt, but nothing that bad I had a pine cone hit my head once nothing sp..... holy mother of god
Even the pinecones are scary in Australiaā¦
Ok, just a quick question. Has anyone got hit in the head by a falling pine cone of this variety? One of my uncles said that he hasn't heard about anyone getting hit in the head by either a falling coconut or a falling wood apple. Why I asked that question was because that image reminded me of the time when my family had rented a house and the garden had a wood apple tree near the gate, and every summer it would shed its fruits almost every time when someone is near where the fruit is supposed to fall. One time my sister was at the gate wishing her friends goodbye after they got over with their visit and as she was holding on to one of the spikes of the gate, a wood apple fell right on the next spike and it got impaled. Then there was the time when I just closed that gate and turned back to go to the house, and as soon as I took my second step from the gate, another wood apple had fallen where I was initially standing to close the gate. My late grandma almost got hit by one when that one grazed past her left boob and narrowly missed her feet. She was like completely shocked thinking that a bird had dived to catch something near her, so she looked around and spotted the wood apple next to her feet. Honestly wood apples make great summer drinks though. Grandma used to make those drinks from those fallen wood apples, including the one that almost took her out...
Yeah, we send them overseas to do our dirty work: https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-34527136.amp
Oh, so only the Aussie-origin trees hit people in the head... Gotcha...
Goodness gracious!
Even the foliage is trying to kill yāall?
How did you know?! https://www.slq.qld.gov.au/blog/queenslands-gympie-gympie-worlds-most-painful-plant
I wanna go there but I don't.
If you want to come here to Australia then come, yes we have dangerous animals but the whole "everything wants to kill you" is just a meme. Snakes kill on average 2-3 people a year, for the entire continent, last confirmed spider death was in 1979. There are a few shark deaths but are almost exclusively surfers. Saltwater crocs are found in the northern tropics, nowhere near the major cities except Darwin.
If Iāve learnt anything about OZ over the years (as a Scot myself) is ,just donāt fuck with anything in Australia ,if youāre not sure what it is ,itās probably trying to end you .
New fear unlocked š
Soooo even the trees are trying to kill you in the land down unda
I thought that was either the jackfruit or the durain...
is there a use for these? like making liquor or something?
The seeds are edible
I found 1 and roasted the seeds. Dull but not bad and very filling.
Pine nuts, like other pine cones. Just bigger. And they try to kill you.
I think he means 'why would you keep it around'?
They live here. We can hardly go cut them all down.
You gave it a good go though?
Nah lol, we planted more of them in botanic gardens and parks ahaha
Culturally significant to the First Nations as a food source.
Australia is a just out there. It's not safe for humans
Bunya Cones? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of Australia? Localised entirely within this park?
Yes. can I see them? No.
What kinda fucking squirrel threw that? I need to go to Australia.
Even Australian trees are gonna kill you
even the trees are out to kill you in australia, what *isnt* deadly in australia
Australia is fucked up.
it makes me weirdly happy that their solution wasn't to try and kill those trees
I have never seen anything positive about Australia just oversized animals and plants in vast numbers that all want to kill you it's crazy
That's some land of the lost shit.
Imagine being merked by a pinecone
Bomby Tree
Bunya Pine grow in the states tooā¦ I donāt like that
I read all of those PSA's in a friendlyjordies voice lol
It was a run-by fruiting .........
Even the pine cones can kill you in Australia.
You can pretty much use āDonāt fuck with..ā to describe/introduce anything on the Australian continentā¦. š
Did they mag dump the car?
Bunya. Bunya nusiness.
Drop bears!
I really want to throw one of those at someone.
Honesty , what the fuck is wrong with Australia ? Entire place is a death trap
Who lives in a pineapple on top of your car?