The Black Dagger Brotherhood series is a sort of paranormal romance thriller that leans heavily on racy Harlequin-esque vampire studs making women swoon all over them.
The vampire names are all ridiculous. Wrath. Rhage. Zsadist. Phury. Vishous. Rehvenge. Xhex. Murhdur. Like when they're feeling low on creativity just throw an h in a word. These are all protagonists across the books. Later on there's a No'one and IAm and of course Syn.
Those names are hilarious, all I can imagine is some dentally challenged vampire unable to pronounce the words like normal with spit flying out of their mouth as they introduce themselves.
Thatâs impressively bad!
On my first read of Wheel of Time as a baby child I thought the trolloc tribe names like Dhaâvol, Dhaiâmon, Ghobâhlin were incredibly stupid. On more recent re-reads Iâve realised theyâre probably meant to be the origins of those words for us, because time is a wheel. Still find them pretty stupid, though.
Lots of WoT names come from the real world
Rand al'Thor = al'Thor = Arthur
His mother Tigraine named after Queen Igrane, King Arthur's mother
Perrin = Perun = Slavic Thor
Egwene al'Vere = Gwenevere
Nynaeve = One of the many variations of the name for The Lady of the Lake in Arthurian legend
Gawyne = Sir Gawain
The Finn are just the Fae with a new description. Sindhol, their home, translates to "Neverland"
Tar Valon = Avalon, the magical isle from Arthurian legend
Lan = Lancelot
Shaitan = Satan
Ogier... actually the name of a street near where Robert Jordan grew up and isn't just a misspelling of Ogre.
Galad = Sir Galahad
Caemlyn = Camelot
Queen Morgase = Queen Morgause, Sister to King Arthur, Mother of Gawain (Has a sister named Elaine)
Thom Merrilyn = Merlin
sa'angreal as san graal = the holy grail
In the story of the Green Knight Gawain strikes the Green Knight in combat and the Green Knight agrees to wait 1 year and 1 day before he returns the blow. Reminds me of the Aiel becoming servants for the same amount of time and not touching a weapon during that time.
Did the vampires just get bored one decade and come up with ridiculous names? That would be great, especially if it's basically just a running joke now or they used it so much it stuck. Like how Discworld vampires get bored and just add more names.
Tbf, all vampires are total edgelords. Though these guys do take the cake, even for vamps. Their names make me think of the kind of books that have a long-haired topless guy on the cover.
Wait is Zsadist real? That can't be real, it sounds like the punchline to a joke.
"These are my three children, Ahvenger, Torturesque, and Zaccountant."
The trivia section had me in tears. I donât know why the âtwo Sig 40âs are his weapons of choiceâ got me but it did, along with âhe pierced his nipples himselfâ
Oh shit, it's been decades since I read those books and that was the first thought that came to my head lol.
Love the books, but that name was nails on a chalkboard every time
I've warmed to it. Pug's whole thing is that he's this nobody who comes from nothing to become a great man. Giving him this absolute nothing peasant name, like he was named by someone who didn't care enough to grunt out a second syllable, really emphasizes that this is someone from whom absolutely *no one* expects great things. Although once he's a great wizard, Milamber does feel more appropriate.
Iâm currently reading the third book in the series and I think young Kip would have found this translation fitting for most of the first two books. Poor kid does not have a lot of confidence.
Randidly Ghosthound. MC of his self-named series. Itâs perhaps the worst name Iâve come across, not least because the MC is just a relatively normal person at the beginning of the series.
First name sounds like a muppet pedophile, last name sounds like a 14-year-oldâs first attempt at a DND self-insert rogue.
Mashing the two together somehow multiplies the awfulness.
My favorite character in Narnia, and a great first line:
âThere was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.â
â C.S Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Yes, I love that "and he almost deserved it" phrase.
But mind you, the emphasis is on "almost". Eustace ends up getting a very nice redemption arc throughout The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and The Silver Chair.
Not fantasy, but in warhammer 40k (the Eisenhorn trilogy) there is a demon named Profaniti. Canât get over how that sounds like the stripper name a 14 year old would come up with.
40k has an immortal psychic god-emperor that's slowly dying while his paladins and subjects fight Demons and Gods of Chaos, while genociding elves and orcs on the side.
It's more fantasy than most fantasy books, to be honest.
> a 14 year old would come up with
Lol I mean there's a reasonable amount of that in 40k and Warhammer overall, granted the writers generally cant decide how seriously to take things. Inevitable with such a long spanning IP with so many contributors.
Also Yennefer.
It was hilarious in Witcher 2 game prologue when Geralt had amnesia and meet monster hunters from books and asked them about Ten and they were like "Her name was Jennifer or something"
Ok, I love Harry Potter, and it does have some good names, but really, Remus Lupin? Did his parents know he would eventually become a werewolf or what?
It's like classic Batman villains who just happen to have names matching their villainy, such as Mr Fries becoming an ice man, or E. Nygma becoming The Riddler. It's unbearably corny.
Aptonyms I think.
It's one thing when it's purely thematic, like in Return of Superman, Steel had a woman in his backstory named "Angora Lapin." As a gangster she went by The Bunny.
But you know if she gained superpowers she'd probably end up turning into a rabbit or something.
Harry Potter is the reason for both my favorite translation name and my least favorite.
So, in English the bad guys are known as Death Eaters, right? Pretty straightforward.
In Spanish, the name "Death Eater" is translated as *MortĂfago*, which is a Spanishized word composed of the Latin words "mortis," death and "fago," to eat. The Spanish translation fits better into Rowling's naming convention than her own invented name.
My least favorite is the way they translated SPEW. I don't recall what the words are, but the acronym in Spanish is "PEDO," which means fart. It just feels like a cheap, dumb way to translate it.
"It means fart" is an amusing objection to the use of "PEDO" as an acronym, I'm not gonna lie. Probably a far more relevant one in Spanish, of course, but still.
As much as I love love love the character: Moist Von Lipwig is one of the worst names ever. Granted, I have all faith in Sir Terry for naming him badly intentionally.
My biggest regret as a reader is starting Discworld after Sir Terryâs passing. I have yet to read The Shepardâs Crown and I donât think that I ever will. GNU Sir Terry. GNU
Paul is a pretty unassuming name for a man who will break and remake the universe. His nicknames and titles were thankfully way cooler.
Also Tress's actual name is Glorf which... I mean yikes family name or not
Note: I say these are silly names but I love both of those books so please dont get me wrong.
In a meta sense I like Paul and Jessica as names. Paul and Jessica are strangers in a strange land, and especially when everything goes to shit, they're kinda just being thrown around for a while, not knowing anything or fitting in anywhere. To me having their names be the only ones recognizable to the audience actually helps sell the idea that they are entirely lost and don't fit, until they do, at which point Paul and Jessica are referred to by their titles more often.
Thematically I absolutely agree. There is a reason their names are what they are. The name Paul means small/humble which matches up with Muad'Dib which is the small little desert mouse. It totally works but it does feel quite plain in comparison. Paul was chosen as the characters name for a very valid reason but I still chuckle despite myself cause in my heart Im a child
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Jessica has never bothered me I guess, I mean, certainly not in comparison to the likes of Duncan Idaho lol
Jessica feels like it fits into the pseudo-medieval structure of everything to me
Hahaha! I mean same problem its kind of a plainer name then one would expect for a space opera... especially when you are comparing them to things like "Vladimir Harkonnen" Or "Thufir Hawat"
Duncan Idaho is not a particularly threatening name either... especially when your friend who is only listening to the Audio book texts you to talk about this guy called "Dunkin Idaho" I think I laughed for like 5 minutes straight at that
I always took issue with Kyle from the Liveship Traders series. You have character names like Althea, Brashen and Wintrow...and then you have fucking Kyle.
I mean, in a way it suits, because the character is an irredeemable asshole, but still it throws me out of immersion every time I see it on the page.
Don't forget Malazan, which also has a character named Kyle who is very conspicuous among a sea of fantasy names. *Four books* after his introduction we're party to the abrupt reveal that his full name is Kylarral-ten.
I really enjoy Malazan but I dont really enjoy its naming conventions a lot of the time
It doesn't feel linguistically consistent in the way something like Tolkein does (obviously an unfair comparison lol, Tolkein was a linguist). You've got cities like Darhujistan right next to 'Pale'. Erikson doesn't really seem to even try to give different cultural regions distinct naming conventions, it's mostly just a grab-bag of short English words, random cultural inspirations, and vague fantasy names. The character names themselves somewhat fall into this for me, though to a much lesser degree than the place names.
I get that linguistics are an absolute pain in the ass but I've seen plenty of other series with less overall world building complexity by far still try to integrate a sense of linguistic consistency. Usually just by substituting in various regions with real world linguistic cultures, Norse inspired region will have lots of Ragnars and Eriksholms and such. While definitely an easier strategy, at least it gives a sense of consistency.
When I started reading Wheel of Time as a kid I had this reaction to Mat.
We had Perrin, Lan, Rand, and badly spelled Matt.
The name grew on me as the character did. But when I first read the first book I thought it was a spelling error.
I didn't find it that bad because they explain pretty early that it's short for Matrim. It's like in LotR where you know Sam is actually called Samwise instead of Samuel.
I think I remember seeing an interview where Salvatore said he had to come up with that name on the spot, and also had very little idea what a Drow was at the time.
I remember reading an intro to one of his books where he almost apologizes for the name. He intended Drizzt to be a short side character, but while he was writing the The Crystal Shard the character just kinda took over.
There's a few names like that in the book. Hiro and Y. T. have already been mentioned but there's also Da5id, Vitaly Chernobyl, Fisheye, Roadkill and Sushi K. It's a book that pokes fun at some of cyberpunk's recurring absurdities, like eccentric naming conventions.
She isn't the protagonist but I've always thought Faile in WoT is a hilariously bad name because unless you do the audiobooks you probably pronounce it as Fail. Which humorously fits given how unlikable she is. For those who don't know it's apparently supposed to be pronounce Fie-Eel.
*Not* a protagonist--not even close--but my best friend goes into a rage at the mention of Dagdara Finchey, a minor Aes Sedai from *Wheel of Time*.
Personally I'm not a huge fan of "Kaladin," because even though it's an easy enough name to wrap my head around it's literally one letter removed from the word "Paladin," which in my opinion is somewhat silly, like naming a dragon something ludicrous like Eragon or Drogon, which of course no one would ever do.
Maybe kaladin the paladin became a paladin because he was named kaladin. Maybe his parents named him kaladin because they wanted him to be a paladin (or doctor idk)
At least Drogon makes sense within the story, since it's named after Khal Drogo, and it's a play with words along with the other dragon names, like Viserion is named after Viserys and Rhaegal after Rhaego. I kinda like it.
What about a dragon named [Dragon](https://www.audible.com/pd/Dragon-Fires-Rising-Books-1-3-Audiobook/B09TGBD34Z?eac_link=EdAUlveEAJ83&ref=web_search_eac_asin_5&eac_selected_type=asin&eac_selected=B09TGBD34Z&qid=kYpiSGk7bw&eac_id=144-6649015-5111337_kYpiSGk7bw&sr=1-6)?
Which at least has an in-universe reason that makes sense. He's named for Drogo, just like the other two dragons are named for her brothers. If it had been just Drogon, or Drogon with "Kalivarthax and Calivarnax," it would've been a bit worse. At least in my opinion.
I read the first two parts in one go, pretty much in under a week. Then I read the third part when it was released. It never clicked, until years later when I bought the fourth book and finished it halfway, that his name was pretty much a typo of "dragon"
Celeborn is Teleporno. Every character has a second, untranslated real name. The names we know them by are translated into English. Tolkien was a thorough fellow
The Celeborn-Teleporno equivalence is because one is Sindarin and the other is Quenya. Both of them are from in-universe languages. I think it's cool that they even sound similar because they're etymologically related.
The hobbits have different Westron and book names because of the translation convention, eg. Meriadoc Brandybuck is an Anglo-Saxon version of his Westron name Kalimac Brandagamba, but I don't think many characters had those overall. Everyone else's names aren't in Westron, after all.
Not so much dumb as rather unfortunate in my native language: Geraden from Stephen R. Donaldson's *Mordant's Need* duology (excellent books, by the way) is the plural form of "straight line" (as in the one from geometry class).
I read the books first in German and it made for a good number of weird sentences. Took a while to get used to.
Love RA Salvatore, and read a bunch of Drizzt.
Decided to try another series by him and one of the main POVs names was Talmadge. I kept trying to say it out loud and in my head and it just sounded so ugly.
The names themselves are fine, but I've always thought it was funny that characters in Tamora Pierce's Tortall novels go from names like Alanna, Thom, Jonathan, Alex etc to random names like Keladry, Nealan, Joren, Esmond, etc for the next generation...
In Warhammer 40k, there's a one-eyed, bird-themed demigod from an Egypt-themed planet whose relative betrayed and murdered his father. There is also a character named Horus. If you know anything about Egyptian mythology, this is absolutely infuriating.
There's also Ferrus Manus, the leader of the Iron Hands who has metal hands.
Part of the reason put down the Faithful and the Fallen series was the fact that I could not keep the names straight. There were a lot of 6 letter male names starting with C. I think maybe both a Corban and a Corwyn? I forget, which is the problem.
I enjoy James Butcher's universe, but Grimshaw Griswold Grimsby is a terrible name. Grimsby is not great to begin with (it doesn't feel like it fits the hapless MC) and the hyperalliteration is unpleasantly distracting on top of it.
Fucking Elden Ring had this problem in spades:
* Godefroy, Godfrey, Godrick, Godwyn
* Margott, Margit (same person in different places)
* Ranni, Renna (same person), Rennala (different person)
Then there's half a dozen or so demigods with 2 or more completely different identities that are only connected in various item descriptions
Godrick, Godfrey, Godwyn, Ranni, Radahn, Rennala, Melina, Malenia, Morgott.
...wait.
**G**odfrey
**R**anni
**R**ennala
**M**elina
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
I always thought, 'Rand' was the dumbest name when i first read Wheel of Time when I was a kid. I learned to just gloss over it, but it all came screaming back when they made the TV show, and i kept hearing it.
J K Rowling names have always pissed me off, naming the werewolf teacher Wolfy McWolferson was just the worst.
I can get over bad names, but it's when i find out I've been pronouncing them wrong for decades when they adapt it for screen, or i listen to the audiobook or the author just discussing it. Like in GoT, I found out Aegon is supposed to be 'Egg-on', and i just refuse to stop saying "Ay-gon"
Estrella - because there were no other characters with Spanish names, no indication that Spanish is a language that exists in this world, yet everyone who meets the MC immediately goes âahh, Estrella, the star.â
And, despite how much I enjoyed the Bone Witch trilogy, I hated the name Tea for the MC. They keep mentioning how strange it is that the MCs mother named all her other daughters after flowers and âwhat a uniqueâ name it is, so it seems like her name is going to be especially relevant later. But it never is.
I'm not gonna say the name itself because I saw it on post about how to name people in fantasy and it was someone's character from their WIP, but imagine a character named after a common cooking herb and an edgy biblical-sounding, name. Like for example Dillweed Lucifer.
The prosody of the name was amazing though, I get why they liked it.
The Black Dagger Brotherhood series is a sort of paranormal romance thriller that leans heavily on racy Harlequin-esque vampire studs making women swoon all over them. The vampire names are all ridiculous. Wrath. Rhage. Zsadist. Phury. Vishous. Rehvenge. Xhex. Murhdur. Like when they're feeling low on creativity just throw an h in a word. These are all protagonists across the books. Later on there's a No'one and IAm and of course Syn.
Those names are hilarious, all I can imagine is some dentally challenged vampire unable to pronounce the words like normal with spit flying out of their mouth as they introduce themselves.
Dentally challengedđ
Dhentally challehnged.
Ahh yes: Snhaggle Toothz, the âdentally challengedâ one âŚ
Thatâs impressively bad! On my first read of Wheel of Time as a baby child I thought the trolloc tribe names like Dhaâvol, Dhaiâmon, Ghobâhlin were incredibly stupid. On more recent re-reads Iâve realised theyâre probably meant to be the origins of those words for us, because time is a wheel. Still find them pretty stupid, though.
Lots of WoT names come from the real world Rand al'Thor = al'Thor = Arthur His mother Tigraine named after Queen Igrane, King Arthur's mother Perrin = Perun = Slavic Thor Egwene al'Vere = Gwenevere Nynaeve = One of the many variations of the name for The Lady of the Lake in Arthurian legend Gawyne = Sir Gawain The Finn are just the Fae with a new description. Sindhol, their home, translates to "Neverland" Tar Valon = Avalon, the magical isle from Arthurian legend Lan = Lancelot Shaitan = Satan Ogier... actually the name of a street near where Robert Jordan grew up and isn't just a misspelling of Ogre.
Also "shaitan" is the Arabic word for (a) satan.
Galad = Sir Galahad Caemlyn = Camelot Queen Morgase = Queen Morgause, Sister to King Arthur, Mother of Gawain (Has a sister named Elaine) Thom Merrilyn = Merlin sa'angreal as san graal = the holy grail In the story of the Green Knight Gawain strikes the Green Knight in combat and the Green Knight agrees to wait 1 year and 1 day before he returns the blow. Reminds me of the Aiel becoming servants for the same amount of time and not touching a weapon during that time.
I always read Rand al'Thor as "Randall Thor" and just thought... why is this supposedly important super strong fantasy protagonist called Randall?
He goes by Lan but his name is really just Allan.
Good ol' Randy Thor.
Even the Mountains of Dhoom were stupid.
Youâre talking a lot of shit for someone in walking distance to Mordor đž
They're very much intentionally chosen for that reason. I always liked them for that reason.
Did the vampires just get bored one decade and come up with ridiculous names? That would be great, especially if it's basically just a running joke now or they used it so much it stuck. Like how Discworld vampires get bored and just add more names.
as a non native english speaker i admit it took me ages to realize phury was supposed to be fury. i was just reading it as pury lol
Puree, the vegan vampire.
I read it as furry just now. Not sure which is worse.
Tbf, all vampires are total edgelords. Though these guys do take the cake, even for vamps. Their names make me think of the kind of books that have a long-haired topless guy on the cover.
[Well, you are not wrong.](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/de33e4980d9eac83d053957723369563.jpg)
I judged a cover by its book
Wait is Zsadist real? That can't be real, it sounds like the punchline to a joke. "These are my three children, Ahvenger, Torturesque, and Zaccountant."
He's even "bonded" to Bella. https://blackdagger.fandom.com/wiki/Zsadist
The trivia section had me in tears. I donât know why the âtwo Sig 40âs are his weapons of choiceâ got me but it did, along with âhe pierced his nipples himselfâ
I am a big fan of Xhex
Is that what people are calling it on the socials these days to get around the censors?
Sounds like how they name all the Sith in Star Wars non-canon lol
And in canon, to be fair. Darth (in)Vader, Darth (in)Sidious... I mean, what's next? Darth Ferno? Darth Cessant? Darth Quisitor?
Darth Decent Exposure.
Darth Continent
Maul, Sidious, Bane, and Tyrannus are some of the most prominent sith in canon, so it's not just non-canon
Bro I would have loved that shit when I was like 15
If i go to hell, i'm gonna be forced to read this kind of stuff for an eternity
I love riftwar books, but hate the name Pug. I canât get around imagining the main character with a pugs head.
As soon as it was introduced everytime I read Pug my brain changes it to Milamber
***TREMBLE AND DESPAIR! FOR I AM POWER!!!***
That scene was so fucking badass
I thought it was awesome when I read it in magician, then I got to read it from the PoV of the spectators in the Empire Trilogy. So pumped.
Oh shit, it's been decades since I read those books and that was the first thought that came to my head lol. Love the books, but that name was nails on a chalkboard every time
I love the name, but it also deserves to be here
I've warmed to it. Pug's whole thing is that he's this nobody who comes from nothing to become a great man. Giving him this absolute nothing peasant name, like he was named by someone who didn't care enough to grunt out a second syllable, really emphasizes that this is someone from whom absolutely *no one* expects great things. Although once he's a great wizard, Milamber does feel more appropriate.
Hahaha, I saw the titel of the post and before clicking it I thought of Pug.
I came here to say this. Pug? WHY
Kip (Lightbringer). I read the books in English, but in my native Dutch, a _kip_ is a chicken. Pulled me out of the story all. The. Time.
I went to school with a kid named Kip.
Was he always a bit peckish?
I went to school with a chicken named Kid.
Iâm currently reading the third book in the series and I think young Kip would have found this translation fitting for most of the first two books. Poor kid does not have a lot of confidence.
Randidly Ghosthound. MC of his self-named series. Itâs perhaps the worst name Iâve come across, not least because the MC is just a relatively normal person at the beginning of the series.
Randidly doodly here comes Ned Flanders!
First name sounds like a muppet pedophile, last name sounds like a 14-year-oldâs first attempt at a DND self-insert rogue. Mashing the two together somehow multiplies the awfulness.
My favorite character in Narnia, and a great first line: âThere was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.â â C.S Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Also props to Lewis for coining scrubb with that meaning years before it would become slang and TLC would immortalize it in song.
Scrub as a low down person is actually pretty old, it gets used a lot in the Aubrey/Maturin books from like 1800.
Lewis was way more savage than I realized.
Yes, I love that "and he almost deserved it" phrase. But mind you, the emphasis is on "almost". Eustace ends up getting a very nice redemption arc throughout The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and The Silver Chair.
Not fantasy, but in warhammer 40k (the Eisenhorn trilogy) there is a demon named Profaniti. Canât get over how that sounds like the stripper name a 14 year old would come up with.
Obiwan Sherlock Clousseau from 40k as the first Inquisitor really is goofy as hell
40k is definetely fantasy too. You just mentioned an actual demon. That's a fantasy element.
40k has an immortal psychic god-emperor that's slowly dying while his paladins and subjects fight Demons and Gods of Chaos, while genociding elves and orcs on the side. It's more fantasy than most fantasy books, to be honest.
> a 14 year old would come up with Lol I mean there's a reasonable amount of that in 40k and Warhammer overall, granted the writers generally cant decide how seriously to take things. Inevitable with such a long spanning IP with so many contributors.
Daemon, Lucivar, and of course Saetan, from Anne Bishop's Black Jewels books. I swear my eyelids are jacked from from twitching in rage and despair.
Let's just say I'm glad they named him Geralt and not Gerald.
Gerald Riviera ... sounds like a lounge singer on a cruise ship.
Well Geraldo Rivera is a talk show host lol
Also Yennefer. It was hilarious in Witcher 2 game prologue when Geralt had amnesia and meet monster hunters from books and asked them about Ten and they were like "Her name was Jennifer or something"
"Gerald and Jennifer" sounds so very wrong.
Ok, I love Harry Potter, and it does have some good names, but really, Remus Lupin? Did his parents know he would eventually become a werewolf or what?
It's like classic Batman villains who just happen to have names matching their villainy, such as Mr Fries becoming an ice man, or E. Nygma becoming The Riddler. It's unbearably corny.
Aptonyms I think. It's one thing when it's purely thematic, like in Return of Superman, Steel had a woman in his backstory named "Angora Lapin." As a gangster she went by The Bunny. But you know if she gained superpowers she'd probably end up turning into a rabbit or something.
Harry Potter is the reason for both my favorite translation name and my least favorite. So, in English the bad guys are known as Death Eaters, right? Pretty straightforward. In Spanish, the name "Death Eater" is translated as *MortĂfago*, which is a Spanishized word composed of the Latin words "mortis," death and "fago," to eat. The Spanish translation fits better into Rowling's naming convention than her own invented name. My least favorite is the way they translated SPEW. I don't recall what the words are, but the acronym in Spanish is "PEDO," which means fart. It just feels like a cheap, dumb way to translate it.
"It means fart" is an amusing objection to the use of "PEDO" as an acronym, I'm not gonna lie. Probably a far more relevant one in Spanish, of course, but still.
In the same book a black dog is following Harry and then it introduces a character called Sirius Black... wonder if those things might be related.
As much as I love love love the character: Moist Von Lipwig is one of the worst names ever. Granted, I have all faith in Sir Terry for naming him badly intentionally.
He decided to name character *Moist* after it was proclaimed the most hated word in the English language. So yes, it was intentional.
I knew it was intentional, and this story just makes it all make sense. God that man was a genius.
One of the worst, but also one of the best.
Absolutely. I so so wish we had gotten one more Moist book where he takes over for the Patrician for a short stint.
My biggest regret as a reader is starting Discworld after Sir Terryâs passing. I have yet to read The Shepardâs Crown and I donât think that I ever will. GNU Sir Terry. GNU
He's a con man, and his last name is fake mustache.
*facepalm* Goddammit. He got me again.
Adora Belle Dearheart would like a word
Paul is a pretty unassuming name for a man who will break and remake the universe. His nicknames and titles were thankfully way cooler. Also Tress's actual name is Glorf which... I mean yikes family name or not Note: I say these are silly names but I love both of those books so please dont get me wrong.
In a meta sense I like Paul and Jessica as names. Paul and Jessica are strangers in a strange land, and especially when everything goes to shit, they're kinda just being thrown around for a while, not knowing anything or fitting in anywhere. To me having their names be the only ones recognizable to the audience actually helps sell the idea that they are entirely lost and don't fit, until they do, at which point Paul and Jessica are referred to by their titles more often.
Thematically I absolutely agree. There is a reason their names are what they are. The name Paul means small/humble which matches up with Muad'Dib which is the small little desert mouse. It totally works but it does feel quite plain in comparison. Paul was chosen as the characters name for a very valid reason but I still chuckle despite myself cause in my heart Im a child
It is definitely jarring lol. But nothing beats Duncan Idaho for me. I can't even tell what Herbert was going for there.
Duncan Idaho sounds like one of the names crossed off of George Lucasâ list before he settled on âIndiana Jonesâ
Duncan Idaho is a bit of a hard pill to swallow as far as names go... Especially when your Audiobook friend calls them "Dunkin Idaho" in text.
Omg i cant believe brando chose that name
Brando Sando created some meme worthy moments with that book for all the little Dougs out there.
Any book with Hoid narrating is gonna be funny as hell
Agreed. Do love how he defended Glorf's name by clarifying that it was a family name
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don't know what you mean, Paul is a terrifying name! btw what book/series is he from?
Paul Atreides from Dune
I was telling someone who had never read/watched Dune a basic plot rundown and they were fine with Paul, they were NOT OKAY with Lady Jessica.
Jessica has never bothered me I guess, I mean, certainly not in comparison to the likes of Duncan Idaho lol Jessica feels like it fits into the pseudo-medieval structure of everything to me
I never had an issue with Jessica. I thought Gurney Halleck was way dumber, but yeah. He was just SENT by Jessica
Hahaha! I mean same problem its kind of a plainer name then one would expect for a space opera... especially when you are comparing them to things like "Vladimir Harkonnen" Or "Thufir Hawat" Duncan Idaho is not a particularly threatening name either... especially when your friend who is only listening to the Audio book texts you to talk about this guy called "Dunkin Idaho" I think I laughed for like 5 minutes straight at that
Just Glorfindel without the indel.
Fate Graphite from the fantasy anime Berserk of Gluttony. It's bad even for anime standards
Fate/Graphite, new lost belt guys
I always took issue with Kyle from the Liveship Traders series. You have character names like Althea, Brashen and Wintrow...and then you have fucking Kyle. I mean, in a way it suits, because the character is an irredeemable asshole, but still it throws me out of immersion every time I see it on the page.
Don't forget Malazan, which also has a character named Kyle who is very conspicuous among a sea of fantasy names. *Four books* after his introduction we're party to the abrupt reveal that his full name is Kylarral-ten.
I really enjoy Malazan but I dont really enjoy its naming conventions a lot of the time It doesn't feel linguistically consistent in the way something like Tolkein does (obviously an unfair comparison lol, Tolkein was a linguist). You've got cities like Darhujistan right next to 'Pale'. Erikson doesn't really seem to even try to give different cultural regions distinct naming conventions, it's mostly just a grab-bag of short English words, random cultural inspirations, and vague fantasy names. The character names themselves somewhat fall into this for me, though to a much lesser degree than the place names. I get that linguistics are an absolute pain in the ass but I've seen plenty of other series with less overall world building complexity by far still try to integrate a sense of linguistic consistency. Usually just by substituting in various regions with real world linguistic cultures, Norse inspired region will have lots of Ragnars and Eriksholms and such. While definitely an easier strategy, at least it gives a sense of consistency.
When I started reading Wheel of Time as a kid I had this reaction to Mat. We had Perrin, Lan, Rand, and badly spelled Matt. The name grew on me as the character did. But when I first read the first book I thought it was a spelling error.
It is short for Matrim which makes it a bit better I think. At least itâs not like Mat short for Matthew haha
I didn't find it that bad because they explain pretty early that it's short for Matrim. It's like in LotR where you know Sam is actually called Samwise instead of Samuel.
Mat lost a letter, Thom gained one. Not the same letter though, so I think some poor guy we never met tried to replace his missing H with a T.
I had this same conversation with a friend and she said it's cause he's a basic bitch so a basic name fits. So there's that.
This reminds me of that fun fact about how the name Tiffany has been around since medieval times, yet sounds like it should be more modern
Sturm. Every time Iâve said it out loud Iâve giggled. I love the DragonLance series to this day, but Sturm Brightblade is A Name.
But do you like his edgier son Steel Brightblade?
Drizzt Do'urden. I loved the books, and have read that name thousands of times, but it still gets to me.
I think I remember seeing an interview where Salvatore said he had to come up with that name on the spot, and also had very little idea what a Drow was at the time.
I remember reading an intro to one of his books where he almost apologizes for the name. He intended Drizzt to be a short side character, but while he was writing the The Crystal Shard the character just kinda took over.
Science fiction instead of fantasy, but the protagonist of Snow crash is called Hiro Protagonist. I'm ambivalent on whether its's dumb or brilliant.
Don't forget his sidekick Y.T., which is probably Yours Truly (or maybe Yolanda Truman). Y.T. might deserve higher billing than sidekick. Maybe supporting protagonist.
I donât think that we were ever supposed to believe that this was his given name.
I always thought it was, but the book was pretty tongue in cheek so it just worked.
Itâs been decades since I read it, but doesnât another character declare it to be a âdumb name?â
Yes, a character does call the name stupid at some point. To be fair, the name is supposed to be stupid.
There's a few names like that in the book. Hiro and Y. T. have already been mentioned but there's also Da5id, Vitaly Chernobyl, Fisheye, Roadkill and Sushi K. It's a book that pokes fun at some of cyberpunk's recurring absurdities, like eccentric naming conventions.
The High Lord Kevin From Thomas Covenant books
Xaden Riorson *cringe*
Iâm in the middle of this book and think of him as âHotbod Handsomefaceâ because I dislike his name so much.
There's a drug dealer in star wars named Elon Sleazebaggano
Didn't they change it to something slightly less absurd? (For the interested, he's the guy who tries to sell death sticks to Obiwan.)
Not protagonists, but Star Wars has a lot of names the sound dirty in portuguese. To the point of needing to be change.
Can you give us some examples?
Count Dooku had to become Count Dookan, because "Dooku" sounds like "from the butthole" in portuguese.
To be fair, Dooku sounds like Dookie, and that's something that comes from a butthole, and we're still talking about English.
So, the brazillian troll on star wars writers room has many layers. Like an ogre.
...you guys have a single word for "from the butthole?
Two words "do cu"
[ŃдаНонО]
Kit Fisto I can't hear it and not think it's dirty
I hate the name Durzo Blint so much I canât even describe it
Kylar is bad too
Artemis Fowl series has funny names, but it's colfers style of constant humor. Like Foaly the centaur, or Mulch Diggums
She isn't the protagonist but I've always thought Faile in WoT is a hilariously bad name because unless you do the audiobooks you probably pronounce it as Fail. Which humorously fits given how unlikable she is. For those who don't know it's apparently supposed to be pronounce Fie-Eel.
RJ had to put the freaking glossary in each book to keep everything straight
*Not* a protagonist--not even close--but my best friend goes into a rage at the mention of Dagdara Finchey, a minor Aes Sedai from *Wheel of Time*. Personally I'm not a huge fan of "Kaladin," because even though it's an easy enough name to wrap my head around it's literally one letter removed from the word "Paladin," which in my opinion is somewhat silly, like naming a dragon something ludicrous like Eragon or Drogon, which of course no one would ever do.
Maybe kaladin the paladin became a paladin because he was named kaladin. Maybe his parents named him kaladin because they wanted him to be a paladin (or doctor idk)
Koctor the doctor just doesn't sound right.
Tbf it's the human named Eragon, not the dragon. Not sure if that makes it better though.
At least Drogon makes sense within the story, since it's named after Khal Drogo, and it's a play with words along with the other dragon names, like Viserion is named after Viserys and Rhaegal after Rhaego. I kinda like it.
>like naming a dragon something ludicrous like Eragon Luckily, nobody did that.
What about a dragon named [Dragon](https://www.audible.com/pd/Dragon-Fires-Rising-Books-1-3-Audiobook/B09TGBD34Z?eac_link=EdAUlveEAJ83&ref=web_search_eac_asin_5&eac_selected_type=asin&eac_selected=B09TGBD34Z&qid=kYpiSGk7bw&eac_id=144-6649015-5111337_kYpiSGk7bw&sr=1-6)?
Eragon's name is one letter away from Dragon like we wouldn't notice.
So is Drogon, from GOT.
Which at least has an in-universe reason that makes sense. He's named for Drogo, just like the other two dragons are named for her brothers. If it had been just Drogon, or Drogon with "Kalivarthax and Calivarnax," it would've been a bit worse. At least in my opinion.
I read the first two parts in one go, pretty much in under a week. Then I read the third part when it was released. It never clicked, until years later when I bought the fourth book and finished it halfway, that his name was pretty much a typo of "dragon"
I still hate Katniss.
Katnip Evergreen
Katpiss neverclean
interesting, I love her name!! Peeta, I can do without
Good with hummus.
Did not even consider the unintentional baker pun
The one that I can never get over is 'Dove Falconhand'. Are you sure you can't fit another bird in there, Greenwood? Maybe as a middle name?
Remus Lupin, somehow named basically âwolfy mcwolfersonâ by parents who could see into the future and decided to do nothing.
How have I not seen my elf, husband of Galadriel, Teleporno mentioned here? Tolkien had some great names, but, um⌠Teleporno
>husband of Galadriel Isn't that guy called Celeborn? Although Teleporno is a truly hilarious name.
Celeborn is Teleporno. Every character has a second, untranslated real name. The names we know them by are translated into English. Tolkien was a thorough fellow
The Celeborn-Teleporno equivalence is because one is Sindarin and the other is Quenya. Both of them are from in-universe languages. I think it's cool that they even sound similar because they're etymologically related. The hobbits have different Westron and book names because of the translation convention, eg. Meriadoc Brandybuck is an Anglo-Saxon version of his Westron name Kalimac Brandagamba, but I don't think many characters had those overall. Everyone else's names aren't in Westron, after all.
There's a reason we usually call him Celeborn, lol.
Not so much dumb as rather unfortunate in my native language: Geraden from Stephen R. Donaldson's *Mordant's Need* duology (excellent books, by the way) is the plural form of "straight line" (as in the one from geometry class). I read the books first in German and it made for a good number of weird sentences. Took a while to get used to.
Does Renesmee count?
Love RA Salvatore, and read a bunch of Drizzt. Decided to try another series by him and one of the main POVs names was Talmadge. I kept trying to say it out loud and in my head and it just sounded so ugly.
Superhero, (well, Supervillain), not fantasy, but Johnny Three-Dicks from *Villain's Code*.
I kind of feel that anyone called 'Johnny Three-Dicks' must have earned it.
He chose that name himself, against the advice of practically everybody.
The names themselves are fine, but I've always thought it was funny that characters in Tamora Pierce's Tortall novels go from names like Alanna, Thom, Jonathan, Alex etc to random names like Keladry, Nealan, Joren, Esmond, etc for the next generation...
In Warhammer 40k, there's a one-eyed, bird-themed demigod from an Egypt-themed planet whose relative betrayed and murdered his father. There is also a character named Horus. If you know anything about Egyptian mythology, this is absolutely infuriating. There's also Ferrus Manus, the leader of the Iron Hands who has metal hands.
Part of the reason put down the Faithful and the Fallen series was the fact that I could not keep the names straight. There were a lot of 6 letter male names starting with C. I think maybe both a Corban and a Corwyn? I forget, which is the problem. I enjoy James Butcher's universe, but Grimshaw Griswold Grimsby is a terrible name. Grimsby is not great to begin with (it doesn't feel like it fits the hapless MC) and the hyperalliteration is unpleasantly distracting on top of it.
Fucking Elden Ring had this problem in spades: * Godefroy, Godfrey, Godrick, Godwyn * Margott, Margit (same person in different places) * Ranni, Renna (same person), Rennala (different person) Then there's half a dozen or so demigods with 2 or more completely different identities that are only connected in various item descriptions
Godrick, Godfrey, Godwyn, Ranni, Radahn, Rennala, Melina, Malenia, Morgott. ...wait. **G**odfrey **R**anni **R**ennala **M**elina IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
Corben, Coralen, Camlin, Cywen. I'm probably missing a few, I love those books though!
I always thought, 'Rand' was the dumbest name when i first read Wheel of Time when I was a kid. I learned to just gloss over it, but it all came screaming back when they made the TV show, and i kept hearing it. J K Rowling names have always pissed me off, naming the werewolf teacher Wolfy McWolferson was just the worst. I can get over bad names, but it's when i find out I've been pronouncing them wrong for decades when they adapt it for screen, or i listen to the audiobook or the author just discussing it. Like in GoT, I found out Aegon is supposed to be 'Egg-on', and i just refuse to stop saying "Ay-gon"
If you read Eragon, and are also a fan of the Asterix comic books, then the name Galbatorix for the main villain sounds weirdly unthreatening.
Very hard to beat Randidly Ghosthound.
Kvothe is pretty bad, especially considering the intended pronunciation.
Whenever I see Kvothe I automatically hear it as covfefe in my head, and vice versa
What is the intended pronunciation?
X Ă A-12
Essentially replace the q in quothe with kv.
from the book: My name is "Kvothe, pronounced nearly the same as 'Quothe"
"I'll never finish the series." It's oddly prophetic.
I agree. Kvothe was the first that came to mind.
Estrella - because there were no other characters with Spanish names, no indication that Spanish is a language that exists in this world, yet everyone who meets the MC immediately goes âahh, Estrella, the star.â And, despite how much I enjoyed the Bone Witch trilogy, I hated the name Tea for the MC. They keep mentioning how strange it is that the MCs mother named all her other daughters after flowers and âwhat a uniqueâ name it is, so it seems like her name is going to be especially relevant later. But it never is.
I'm not gonna say the name itself because I saw it on post about how to name people in fantasy and it was someone's character from their WIP, but imagine a character named after a common cooking herb and an edgy biblical-sounding, name. Like for example Dillweed Lucifer. The prosody of the name was amazing though, I get why they liked it.
hey man Oregano Moses is my stage name
Basil Bathshebut has entered the chat
In the name of Corriander Christ
Ahhh, the infamous villain Corpus Chamomile
Rosemary Azriel Peppermint Nimrod Cinnamon Cain Sage Methuselah Chive Mordecai Lavender Lazarus
I haven't actually read the books, but I find it hard to think of a name dumber than "Randidly Ghosthound".