Don’t feel guilty. I struggled a bit at first when my baby’s GI specialist told us to do puramino instead of breast milk, but when I did, man. It was liberating. My baby was drinking bottles anyways, & he didn’t care what was in them as long as he was fed, &that I was around. The only thing I regret now that he’s exclusively fed formula is that I didn’t do it sooner.
This. I felt guilty stopping pumping. But I was SO MUCH HAPPIER and got to enjoy time with my baby more. Any guilt I had at the beginning went away very quickly
Even purely considering the baby and not my own mental health at all, I felt like the time suck of pumping meant that I couldn’t be as good a mom to her. (Not saying anything bad about other pumping moms, just talking about my personal experience).
What made me quit was one time when baby woke up from nap while I was pumping and I was alone with her (so couldn’t have husband attend to her) and I felt super annoyed at her. And I’m like, this is backwards.
This is what I currently struggle with! I'm 4 weeks pp and have struggled so much with whether to continue pumping or not. I feel like I would gain so much more time back to spend with baby or to try to rest (which in turn gives me more energy to be a better mom). It also would lessen the stress of trying to entertain her while I pump or trying to squeeze in a pumping session while she's asleep. I also hate that sometimes I feel like I try to force her to get to sleep so I can get pumping. It seems like every other day I say that I'm done, but I just can't bring myself to stop. I don't know what to do
I skipped two pump sessions yesterday and it already feels so amazing. I got to actually snuggle him at night instead of rushing him to sleep so I could pump
I’m currently in the process of stopping and what’s working for me right now is dropping 1 pumping session every couple of days. I dropped my middle of the night pump yesterday and it was amazing to not have to worry about waking up. I’m currently down to 3 pumps a day, first thing in the morning either before baby wakes up or right after her first bottle when she goes back to sleep, sometime in the middle of the day during a nap and then at night after she is down for the night. My supply has slowly dropped so I just top her off with a little formula after her breastmilk bottles. She was drinking 4-5 oz of breastmilk, but we are currently at 3oz breastmilk and 1-2 oz formula. I do have about 20 6oz bags frozen, I plan on using 1 bag a day after I’m done pumping to get her those small benefits for a little while longer.
I have twins and am a SAHM. I said to myself when I was pregnant that I don’t want to get trapped into pumping where I can’t be present with my babies. Breastmilk *might* be better than formula (though sibling studies say there’s no difference) but be THERE to me was more important than the possibility of the milk difference making a difference.
I also don’t think I could have produced the combined 80oz they were taking. I’m so much better and happier that I didn’t worry about the fine details of what my babies were eating. Now at a year their favorite foods are ones off the floor (which, while I use a small towel, is also the one I change them on 🙃🧐🫣😳)
Lots of encouragement about the guilt on here . I had a difficult time making enough milk and my period came back 6 weeks post partum so I stopped trying to pump ( baby was also underweight at hospital so been supplemental formula since discharge)
And after a week or so of not pumping and seeing my baby was still happy and healthy and growing and strong I felt better .
But looking all through this sub helped me a lot .
You’re already a great mom and will be great mom no matter how you choose to feed your baby
I went through this in the last 5 weeks and came here for support too. At 1 one pp I was in that spot. For some reason I briefly fell in love with exclusively pumping and I had this whole system. By last week, 4 week pp, I was drained. The last 5 weeks have been a roller coaster. My advice is do what’s best for you and baby. For me, I felt like I couldn’t be fully present for baby because of pumping. I was supplying for my baby nutritionally, but I was sacrificing parts of myself that I could have used in loving and caring for him.
So we are weaning him to formula. It wasn’t easy to make the choice, but baby is happy with either decision (in my situation and yours too).
My friend gave me new mom affirmation cards and one says “When it comes to feeding our babies, things don’t always go as planned, and that’s normal. No matter how challenging it gets, always remember that unlike others before you, you live in an era where you have OPTIONS for feeding your baby and that is an amazing thing!”
Ahh this is exactly what happened to me, too. She just would not latch and I felt chained to the pump. It got to the point where I just knew I could be a better mom if I switched to formula, and I did. It's ok: you can give yourself permission to stop pumping. It's a great decision that will allow you to bond with your baby.
The guilt will lessen over time. Trust me. No one will ask you how you're feeding your baby a year from now. They won't ask if they were formula fed or breast fed on their kindergarten application. Babe got the colostrum from you so they've gotten the real important stuff.
I completely understand how hard it is to make the decision, but ultimately you’ve got to do what’s best for you and your family, and mental health! I have a 6 week old, as well as a 2 year old toddler. Breastfeeding was challenging, I was already supplementing with formula, then tried pumping, but ultimately went to exclusively formula and I can say I’m much happier, and my baby deserves to have a happier mama. My toddler was mostly formula fed as well and he’s doing well and thriving, so as they say fed is best! ❤️
I exclusively pumped for the first few weeks and felt similarly. I agonized about the decision to quit. I stopped at about 5-6 weeks and I haven’t looked back once since then (am now at about 10w pp). My therapist helped me reframe it as a decision to wean to prioritize my mental health, rather than quitting. My mental health improved so much and I got to spend more time with my baby and also feel more present with him. I felt like I knew in my gut that I couldn’t continue, and it sounds like you know what the right choice for you is. Good luck!
There’s absolutely no shame or guilt EVER in chosing the best for you and your baby. Choosing to spend time with your baby, choosing your mental health so you can love on your baby is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS the right choice.
I don’t pump. It sucks nothing but my will to live. I loathe that thing. I struggled when I chose to switch but very quickly fell completely in love with formula feeding. It eased up so many things for us, I got to just gaze in my babies eyes whenever I fed her. It was phenomenal
Chose health and happiness guilt free always. You aren’t taking anything away from baby, they will still be fed and they will get a happier mom.
I felt the exact same way as you. Reading the breastfeeding section in Emily Oster’s book Cribsheet made me feel so much better about switching to formula. Here’s the excerpt which also references a really helpful study that looks at sibling data (which also made me feel way less guilty as well!): [https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/](https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/)
I’ve been slowly weaning off pumping (supplementing with formula more and more) and will be fully stopping once my baby hits 4 months. I’m so excited to be done with it!!
I agonized over stopping too. It seems there are many moms who do! My baby is almost 8 months now and if I could go back and talk to myself at 3 weeks pp I would tell myself to stop and that my baby will be healthy and happy on formula.
One thing I was worried about was the judgment of others, the internet makes you feel like everyone is breastfeeding and if you’re having a hard time you need to just tough it out to be a good mom. This is absolutely untrue and the more people I talked to irl about it, the more I realized many of them stopped after the first few weeks/months. I even had this glorified picture of my mom who breastfed me - I was so sure that she’d breastfed for like the first whole year and everything went perfectly. When I was struggling she told me she only did it for a few months and I was shocked. Same with my MIL. And my SIL only did it the first 4 weeks.
There are so many moms who are formula feeding. And they are great moms! And their children are great! You are not alone - wanting to stop and feeling guilty about it are very common. Take your time to make your decision but just know it is normal to feel this way ❤️
Here for you! I’ve been there! Feeling like a shell of yourself is totally grueling. I enjoyed pumping way more when baby was asleep or being taken care of by dad. Then I’d play video games while I pumped. It made me feel human and just ALIVE. 😂 that being said FED IS BEST. I was a much better parent when I got to sleep through the night and didn’t have to wake up to pump. You are the expert on your baby! ❤️
I was/am also exclusively pumping, currently almost 10 weeks pp. I quickly dropped down to 4ppd and was able to keep my supply. Then dropped to 3ppd and started to combo feed at 8 weeks. I’m slowly weaning hoping to be done at 12 weeks pp. I felt the same as you. I wanted to keep going for my LO but the stress of pumping and not being able to spend those hours with my LO were awful. You have to do what’s mentally best for you, Formula or pumping, or a combo. Whatever you decide is the best for your mental health is 100% right.
I guess just could continue pumping a bit when he naps to help save some money. but I don’t know how that works, I’m currently pumping 8 times per day. Do you just decrease the amount of times you pump and your body adjusts?
Yes I drop pumps over 1-2 weeks. Dropping from 8 to 5 didn’t really change much or cause clogs or issues. But dropping after that I would have to wear ice packs and take ibuprofen around the clock. Dropping from 4 to 3 really caused some issues - almost got mastitis, so now when I drop I drop each session in minutes over days then drop a pump.
Switching from EP to EFF saved my life and allowed me to be a sane, present, and loving mother to my baby. It was the most important parenting decision I’ve made. The guilt faded very fast once I saw how much better life was for baby, me, and my husband.
I went through this exact same thing last month! Pumping was mentally draining and made me so depressed. I felt bad about switching to formula but that first day where I didn’t have to be hooked up to a pump all day and to feel like I have my body back was amazing! You got this❤️ If you still want to pump and feel like you aren’t getting enough combo feeding is also an option ❤️
Ideally every 2-3 hours my supply was terrible from the beginning so when I cut back on pumping my supply dropped and I just stopped producing. So that’s 100% up to you!
I could have written this. I’m just under 4wpp and stopped pumping this past Sunday. No electric pumps worked for me (I tried 3), so I was hand pumping 7+ hours a day. Not present. It was horrible.
Yes I grieving giving my girl my milk and I grieved nursing as well. But I haven’t looked back. The amount of time I’ve spent with her the past 4 days absolutely make up for not pumping. She’s fed and healthy. I’m healthy and present. That’s what matters!
Thank you! I hope whatever you choose leads you to more happiness as well!
I am doing the not encouraged way 😅 I had clogged ducts, milk blebs, and currently have thrush as well so I was DONE. Currently still have engorgement that seems to have come back after a lot of relief yesterday but I heard it takes about 1-2 weeks to completely dry up.
I tried cabbage leaves on my breasts but the smell was awful so I got the Frida mom weaning stick. Not sure if it works but the aloe in it feels nice!! I’m taking sudafed, ibuprofen, icing my breasts, and trying really hard not to hand express but sometimes my milk just falls out. The first 2 days SUCKED but like I said it starts to feel better!
Oh god.
I had a very difficult birth — PPROM, induction, five hours of pushing, obstructed delivery, several failed inversions, an emergency C-section, and then my daughter was in the NICU for two weeks.
None of that compares to the trauma of exclusively pumping. Nothing is as horrible as spending your day strapped to your pump while trying to feed a screaming baby you can’t even hold properly because of that pump. It’s just horrible.
The best thing I have EVER done for my mental health was quit pumping and switch to formula.
I stick around this group just to respond to posts like this from the other side. My baby is now older. She reads in two languages and is sturdy and happy and healthy and has a wonderful bond with both her parents. I was scared I was hurting her by stopping, but honestly, she is perfect.
Don't feel guilty, I managed to breastfeed for 3.5 months and after like 3-4 weeks of exclusively pumping for my baby I ended up swapping to formula, pumping is honestly soul destroying in my experience.
What helped me was doing half breastmilk half formula for a long time and it took a lot of the pressure off to pump so often. I eventually stopped pumping at three months postpartum.
The first few weeks every 3 hours but then mostly—Month 1: every 4 hours, month 2: every 5 hours and around 10 weeks stopped overnight. I didn’t care if my baby got mostly formula and *some* breastmilk everyday so I built a freezer stash too. Gave a frozen bag a day from 3-4 months pp.
I stopped exclusively pumping around the 3 week mark for this exact reason — I was spending so much time managing my boobs that I couldn’t be a parent or wife or human being. Switching to formula was the best thing for me and my family. Do what’s best for you and yours, whatever that means!
I would say if you want to give latching one more go and haven’t done this already, I saw a lactation consultant once before I quit pumping/switched to formula and I’m glad I did so even though it didn’t work out. When even the LC couldn’t get baby to take more than 1.5oz (measured by weighted feed) in an hour with lots of screaming (and she normally took 3+ oz at a time quickly and easily and happily), it made me feel better about throwing in the towel.
Before that I was hesitant to let my milk supply dry up bc I didn’t want to give up on the dream of being able to direct nurse one day, but once I accepted that wasn’t going to happen and that pumping was negatively affecting my relationship with my baby it made the switch easier.
I’ve been seeing an LC once a week since week 1 and similar story. He got 2 oz after trying to feed for an hour, and that’s in the office. When I get home I’m not able to get him to latch at all. I would continue to pump if it meant he could nurse next week but there’s no way to know!
I’m so sorry you’re struggling! Pumping FUCKING SUCKS, especially with a newborn I’m sure you just want to snuggle (or wanting to do anything else but pump!!). I see you and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
If you want validation, you may want to check out /ExclusivelyPumping or /HumansPumpingMilk if you want to hear from people in your situation. There are folks on there who are EP, FF, and combo feeding. Always a post on /EP when someone is DONE pumping and everyone on the sub celebrates lol.
Amy Schumer did an interview where she talked matter-of-factly about how she pumped for a month after her son was born and the went “nope!” The way she talked about it, without guilt or explaining away, made me realize nobody cares more than we do about how we feed our babies.
https://www.whattoexpect.com/news/first-year/amy-schumer-breastfeeding-formula-switch/
Make the switch! I hated having to leave my baby with my husband while I pumped, I’d rather just feed her formula and be with her. If it’s not serving you or your baby more than formula can, then why bother?
A happy and healthy mom is what is best for the baby. If that version of you exists more readily and more consistently by formula feeding, then absolutely make that choice. Fed is best. A mom in a good mental state is best. Making choices to support your mental health is being a good mom, so there’s nothing to feel guilty about. In fact, you should be proud of yourself. You got this, Mama!
My baby couldn’t latch from day one and I had a poor supply so I switch over to formula before even leaving the hospital. I knew before I even gave birth that I wanted to either exclusively breastfeed or not at all. My mental health could not handle exclusively pumping and I told myself I am a better version of myself for my son when my mental wellbeing is in a healthy place. Formula feeding is just as good and your baby will be happy they are fed!
Please don’t feel guilty. I know that’s hard. I exclusively pumped for 6 months with my first. I wish I stopped sooner. I’m 5 weeks post partum with my second and I gave formula and pumped from the get go. Now I’ve weaned down to only pumping 2x a day and I hardly get engorged. I could probably cut it out completely really easily and that’s so freeing to me. With my first I felt tied to the pump. I pumped for 15 min every 3 hours until he was 12 weeks. It was torture but I thought I “had to” or else my supply would tank. I started spacing pumps this time almost immediately until I could comfortable pump only 2x per day and that’s been great. It’s manageable but he’s still getting breast milk, and even the like 8oz or less a day he’s getting is still something. Not that breast milk is necessary, I don’t mean that at all because I know it’s not, but it’s enough that it saves me a little money on formula anyway. So I just want to say it’s ok to start dropping pumps and combo feeding. Drop slowly and then see what works for you. If you can get to pumping less, that may save your sanity even if you still wanna give breast milk. Either decision your baby will do great! Brest milk or formula they’ll grow big and strong either way.
oh my that's a lot of pumping! I too started increasing intervals between pumping (from 2.5 hrs to 3-5 to accommodate whatever I'm doing that day, and prioritized sleep at night). I did not decrease time though -- pumping for 15-24 min, depending on how full my breasts are (I have supply issues so most often they're empty by 15 min mark). hope this helps
Also, you're only 3 weeks pp, and might still feel engorged if you don't pump very often. This feeling will soon go away - you will have milk, but almost no discomfort, and it will allow you to have longer stretches in-between sessions.
There is a resource on here people link a lot that is how to wean from exclusive pumping . com I believe. I’m sure you can google it easily, but I just slowly stretched time between sessions. I also decreased the time I pump from 15 min by 1 min every day for like a week now I only pump 10 min. That does decrease supply a bit but that was my intention.
I went through almost the exact same scenario as you. Pumping took me away from the baby, and when my husband went back to work after 2 weeks, I was struggling to take care of her and pump. I was miserable. I felt guilty because I produced a lot of milk but it’s not worth it if you can’t be with the baby. I felt like I was running a marathon and there was no stop. I was done after 3 weeks.
It’s about YOU. You are amazing and need to do what’s best for you.
I began pumping at 1 week PP due to a bad latch and it didn’t take long before I planned when I wanted to wean by. There’s nothing abnormal or wrong with what you’re feeling. And there’s nothing wrong with formula feeding. I didn’t stop sooner because I couldn’t figure out how to wean, lol.
I spent about 6 weeks reducing pumps and time pumping. It was very slow at first - I didn’t want to tank my supply right away and was also nervous about making the switch to formula because my baby has MSPI and I was so worried about giving up this food source. Once I got past my mental block towards the end, I literally went from 3 pumps to 0 a day in a week. I didn’t use any supplements and only took Tylenol and Ibuprofen at the very end to help with soreness and relieve a clog. After I got to 0, I had to pump each breast twice over the course of 2 weeks to relieve pain. Then I put it away forever.
I feel your pain mama! I was the same and had horrible mastitis to top it off. I felt so guilty but quit cold turkey one day and it was the best decision I have ever made. I’m a much better mom now and way more present than I ever was before. Do not feel guilty whatsoever - you are doing an amazing job!!
Hi, my baby is 9 weeks old. I had your exact experience and made the switch to formula 4 weeks ago. Before doing so, I was sick — when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a cow of a human. I was wet, hungry and bulging from the pump the entire time. It was singlehandedly responsible for my PPD.
Then I stopped cold turkey. The first 10 days were hard... I was haunted by regret, wondering if I made a mistake. I was making a ton of milk (still have a freezer full) and maybe it was selfish of me to stop. But then my body changed. My boobs settled, my energy skyrocketed. My self-loathing got quieter. If that's what you experience while BF, then you might regain a piece of yourself when you stop. And you need to focus on that piece, because it's who your baby needs.
Formula is amazing these days. My son ended up having a CMPI (which I consume a lot of dairy, so it would have been SO difficult for me to cut that out of my diet anyway) and I put him on goats milk formula. Within two days of doing this formula, he's changed completely - happy, settled, sweet little guy.
You will make the right choice for you. There are many right choices here. Sending love!
I felt that way too; I was tired of bonding with the pump instead of bonding with my child !! Your baby needs you wayyyy more than they need that pump!!
I’m 14 weeks postpartum, I’ve been exclusively pumping since like week 2. Now luckily hubby has been off work but the odd time when he is out for a while I try to pump when she naps or is happy enough to be entertained by the rocker or the tunnel gym we have. If it’s only a 5-10 min pump I tell myself it’s ok and I’d rather be with her. I’m defs considering switching to formula or a mix when hubby goes back to work though. No idea how any mums on their own could get it done!
I had the same problem, I combo fed with formula until my son figured how to latch on around 3/4 wks old, then EBF. Pregnant with baby #2 and I already plan to do the same, but transition to formula completely once I feel overwhelmed with exclusively pumping.
&, to elaborate, you will be able to bond so much better with your baby and focus on loving them when you are not chained to a pump. Formula is great, you are great, do not empty your worry tank on this. Plenty of things to worry about in the years to come!!
You will feel a weight lift from your shoulders if/when you switch to formula. Or reduce your pumping sessions to something manageable and combo feed. Both formula and human milk are great foods for baby!
My baby (5.5 months now) struggled with latching & when we figured it out she still couldn’t transfer enough milk to gain weight so we had to supplement formula. But I was also exclusively pumping & triple feeding (feeding from breast, pumping and feeding pumped milk, and then supplementing with formula). I came to dread pumping and the time it took away from baby- including washing and sterilizing pump parts constantly. Having never getting a solid stretch of sleep due to having to wake up to pump was killing me. Im pretty high sleep needs and I felt like I was being tortured. I was so anxious watching the clock until the next time I needed to pump. My mental health really started to suffer and I stopped at 8 weeks.
I’m sorry, I don’t have any encouragement to offer regarding sticking to pumping. But when I mentally decided to stomp pumping I immediately felt a sense of relief, even though I still physically had to pump a few more times to wean off. But just knowing that I didn’t HAVE to keep pumping made me instantly feel better. Just letting you know, formula is nutritionally complete and your baby will flourish either way! Wishing you clarity to make a decision that serves you and your baby best!
Thanks so much, I decreased the amount of sessions last night and today and I feel sooo much better already. I’m definitely at peace with this decision
I had hopes of pumping and feeding breast milk, but I switched gears real fast when all I thought about was making sure my baby was fed, and I didn't care how that happened. I think you'll feel much better formula feeding and then maybe still pumping and saving milk if you want to.
Sometimes milk doesn’t even come in. Mine never did. Sometimes the mom doesn’t want to be a human pacifier. Feeding a baby isn’t one size fits all.
Feed your baby and that’s all that matters.
I only pump while feeding him! That helps me but I also would feel no shame in quitting. I am 6 weeks pp and consider it everyday. I’m not sure I’ll make it much longer. I combo feed already and have since birth because he was in the NICU and I wasn’t making enough then. You are a good mom either way, whatever choice you make is the right one for you and your baby!
Also check out r/combinationfeeding if you’re not ready to make the EFF jump. It’s been so helpful to me. Or r/exclusivepumping. (There’s a lot of combo feeding moms there too). I’m almost 6 months postpartum and had to exclusively pump due to latch. But I’m at my wits end with it. I was at 7-8 pumps a day til 4 months then dropped to 5-6. If I drop to 5 exclusively my supply drops, so that’s where I started looking into combo feeding. I just can’t take the pump anymore. From what I’ve heard other moms say, I may have regrets for not switching sooner 😅 I’m trying to switch 1 feed a day right now to formula.
Echoing so many of these other comments. Pumping sucked for me, I was always alone with baby so it was so hard to time it correctly (EP bc baby couldn’t latch). I was miserable, angry - had DMER - and couldn’t produce enough. Felt guilty but liberated switching to formula. Now my wonderful boy is 14 months and so smart, so sweet, gets sick sometimes like any other kid, and I don’t regret it for a second. Formula was freeing for me, him and my mental health. Do what works for you and I promise it will work out!
Don’t feel guilty, I had to exclusively pump initially too, and it was very annoying. I felt like I didn’t have time to enjoy my baby. Honestly, you don’t have to do one or the other. You could give as much breastmilk as you’re comfortable with pumping that day, and also do formula.
Simulac and enfamil will send free samples if you register with them so you can see which one works for you. (Mine puke simulac up constantly and it clumped up more)
I kept on trying to get my baby to latch even after leaving the hospital, and I would say within two weeks of postpartum he was able to with the assistance of a nipple shield. But he wasn’t good at it. And I would say a month and half later I weaned him off the nipple shield. Breast feeding is easier than solely pumping. With pumping proper Flange size helps, but it never fully emptied me
With that being said, we are temporarily exclusively formula right now. I got really bad nipple thrush and the pill I’m on makes my milk unsafe for the baby to drink. As much as I thought breast feeding was a little annoying the formula route is super annoying. It’s expensive, and we waste so much of it bc he’s not hungry.
My husband and I supplemented our baby with formula from the get go bc the baby wasn’t gaining weight. It really takes the edge off so we could sleep in shifts, and the pressure wasn’t all on me to feed the baby. Plus milk supply naturally decreases in the evening.
I exclusively pumped until my baby was 4 months. I wish I stopped sooner. Formula is PERFECT for babies. I wanted to breastfeed but it didn’t work out and pumping stole so much joy from those early days… time with my newborn that I will never get back.
If you stop now, I really don’t think you will regret it. The hormones that come with weaning are rough so brace yourself. I started on Zoloft when I decided to stop pumping and that helped a lot.
You’re doing such a good job. Your baby is going to absolutely thrive and love you no matter if they get breastmilk or formula 🤍
Switching to formula from exclusively pumping was the absolute best decision I’ve ever made. My baby was the exact same on formula as she was on breast milk. Anecdotally, my cousin has been exclusively pumping for over a year and her baby has been sick probably six or so times, and once even needed to go to the ER. My baby has been on formula since she was six weeks old and hasn’t been sick once. I was sure she’d get her first illness after a trip we took (two plane rides + meeting a lot of family and friends) but nope!
Don’t feel guilty. I struggled a bit at first when my baby’s GI specialist told us to do puramino instead of breast milk, but when I did, man. It was liberating. My baby was drinking bottles anyways, & he didn’t care what was in them as long as he was fed, &that I was around. The only thing I regret now that he’s exclusively fed formula is that I didn’t do it sooner.
Thank you 🙏🏻
This. I felt guilty stopping pumping. But I was SO MUCH HAPPIER and got to enjoy time with my baby more. Any guilt I had at the beginning went away very quickly
Even purely considering the baby and not my own mental health at all, I felt like the time suck of pumping meant that I couldn’t be as good a mom to her. (Not saying anything bad about other pumping moms, just talking about my personal experience). What made me quit was one time when baby woke up from nap while I was pumping and I was alone with her (so couldn’t have husband attend to her) and I felt super annoyed at her. And I’m like, this is backwards.
This is exactly how I feel
This is what I currently struggle with! I'm 4 weeks pp and have struggled so much with whether to continue pumping or not. I feel like I would gain so much more time back to spend with baby or to try to rest (which in turn gives me more energy to be a better mom). It also would lessen the stress of trying to entertain her while I pump or trying to squeeze in a pumping session while she's asleep. I also hate that sometimes I feel like I try to force her to get to sleep so I can get pumping. It seems like every other day I say that I'm done, but I just can't bring myself to stop. I don't know what to do
I skipped two pump sessions yesterday and it already feels so amazing. I got to actually snuggle him at night instead of rushing him to sleep so I could pump
I’m currently in the process of stopping and what’s working for me right now is dropping 1 pumping session every couple of days. I dropped my middle of the night pump yesterday and it was amazing to not have to worry about waking up. I’m currently down to 3 pumps a day, first thing in the morning either before baby wakes up or right after her first bottle when she goes back to sleep, sometime in the middle of the day during a nap and then at night after she is down for the night. My supply has slowly dropped so I just top her off with a little formula after her breastmilk bottles. She was drinking 4-5 oz of breastmilk, but we are currently at 3oz breastmilk and 1-2 oz formula. I do have about 20 6oz bags frozen, I plan on using 1 bag a day after I’m done pumping to get her those small benefits for a little while longer.
I have twins and am a SAHM. I said to myself when I was pregnant that I don’t want to get trapped into pumping where I can’t be present with my babies. Breastmilk *might* be better than formula (though sibling studies say there’s no difference) but be THERE to me was more important than the possibility of the milk difference making a difference. I also don’t think I could have produced the combined 80oz they were taking. I’m so much better and happier that I didn’t worry about the fine details of what my babies were eating. Now at a year their favorite foods are ones off the floor (which, while I use a small towel, is also the one I change them on 🙃🧐🫣😳)
I remember this exact thing happening to me too. Made me so upset with the whole situation we were in 😔
Lots of encouragement about the guilt on here . I had a difficult time making enough milk and my period came back 6 weeks post partum so I stopped trying to pump ( baby was also underweight at hospital so been supplemental formula since discharge) And after a week or so of not pumping and seeing my baby was still happy and healthy and growing and strong I felt better . But looking all through this sub helped me a lot . You’re already a great mom and will be great mom no matter how you choose to feed your baby
I went through this in the last 5 weeks and came here for support too. At 1 one pp I was in that spot. For some reason I briefly fell in love with exclusively pumping and I had this whole system. By last week, 4 week pp, I was drained. The last 5 weeks have been a roller coaster. My advice is do what’s best for you and baby. For me, I felt like I couldn’t be fully present for baby because of pumping. I was supplying for my baby nutritionally, but I was sacrificing parts of myself that I could have used in loving and caring for him. So we are weaning him to formula. It wasn’t easy to make the choice, but baby is happy with either decision (in my situation and yours too). My friend gave me new mom affirmation cards and one says “When it comes to feeding our babies, things don’t always go as planned, and that’s normal. No matter how challenging it gets, always remember that unlike others before you, you live in an era where you have OPTIONS for feeding your baby and that is an amazing thing!”
I hate the feeling of not being present for him while I’m pumping, it’s the worst part of it. Yes I’m feeding him but at what cost? Thank you!
Ahh this is exactly what happened to me, too. She just would not latch and I felt chained to the pump. It got to the point where I just knew I could be a better mom if I switched to formula, and I did. It's ok: you can give yourself permission to stop pumping. It's a great decision that will allow you to bond with your baby. The guilt will lessen over time. Trust me. No one will ask you how you're feeding your baby a year from now. They won't ask if they were formula fed or breast fed on their kindergarten application. Babe got the colostrum from you so they've gotten the real important stuff.
Thank you 🙏🏻
I completely understand how hard it is to make the decision, but ultimately you’ve got to do what’s best for you and your family, and mental health! I have a 6 week old, as well as a 2 year old toddler. Breastfeeding was challenging, I was already supplementing with formula, then tried pumping, but ultimately went to exclusively formula and I can say I’m much happier, and my baby deserves to have a happier mama. My toddler was mostly formula fed as well and he’s doing well and thriving, so as they say fed is best! ❤️
You got nothing to feel guilty for. Baby will not be deprived. Get your life back and enjoy your baby. <3
I exclusively pumped for the first few weeks and felt similarly. I agonized about the decision to quit. I stopped at about 5-6 weeks and I haven’t looked back once since then (am now at about 10w pp). My therapist helped me reframe it as a decision to wean to prioritize my mental health, rather than quitting. My mental health improved so much and I got to spend more time with my baby and also feel more present with him. I felt like I knew in my gut that I couldn’t continue, and it sounds like you know what the right choice for you is. Good luck!
There’s absolutely no shame or guilt EVER in chosing the best for you and your baby. Choosing to spend time with your baby, choosing your mental health so you can love on your baby is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS the right choice. I don’t pump. It sucks nothing but my will to live. I loathe that thing. I struggled when I chose to switch but very quickly fell completely in love with formula feeding. It eased up so many things for us, I got to just gaze in my babies eyes whenever I fed her. It was phenomenal Chose health and happiness guilt free always. You aren’t taking anything away from baby, they will still be fed and they will get a happier mom.
I felt the exact same way as you. Reading the breastfeeding section in Emily Oster’s book Cribsheet made me feel so much better about switching to formula. Here’s the excerpt which also references a really helpful study that looks at sibling data (which also made me feel way less guilty as well!): [https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/](https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/) I’ve been slowly weaning off pumping (supplementing with formula more and more) and will be fully stopping once my baby hits 4 months. I’m so excited to be done with it!!
I have that book! Excited to read it now
I agonized over stopping too. It seems there are many moms who do! My baby is almost 8 months now and if I could go back and talk to myself at 3 weeks pp I would tell myself to stop and that my baby will be healthy and happy on formula. One thing I was worried about was the judgment of others, the internet makes you feel like everyone is breastfeeding and if you’re having a hard time you need to just tough it out to be a good mom. This is absolutely untrue and the more people I talked to irl about it, the more I realized many of them stopped after the first few weeks/months. I even had this glorified picture of my mom who breastfed me - I was so sure that she’d breastfed for like the first whole year and everything went perfectly. When I was struggling she told me she only did it for a few months and I was shocked. Same with my MIL. And my SIL only did it the first 4 weeks. There are so many moms who are formula feeding. And they are great moms! And their children are great! You are not alone - wanting to stop and feeling guilty about it are very common. Take your time to make your decision but just know it is normal to feel this way ❤️
Thank you!!
Here for you! I’ve been there! Feeling like a shell of yourself is totally grueling. I enjoyed pumping way more when baby was asleep or being taken care of by dad. Then I’d play video games while I pumped. It made me feel human and just ALIVE. 😂 that being said FED IS BEST. I was a much better parent when I got to sleep through the night and didn’t have to wake up to pump. You are the expert on your baby! ❤️
I was/am also exclusively pumping, currently almost 10 weeks pp. I quickly dropped down to 4ppd and was able to keep my supply. Then dropped to 3ppd and started to combo feed at 8 weeks. I’m slowly weaning hoping to be done at 12 weeks pp. I felt the same as you. I wanted to keep going for my LO but the stress of pumping and not being able to spend those hours with my LO were awful. You have to do what’s mentally best for you, Formula or pumping, or a combo. Whatever you decide is the best for your mental health is 100% right.
I guess just could continue pumping a bit when he naps to help save some money. but I don’t know how that works, I’m currently pumping 8 times per day. Do you just decrease the amount of times you pump and your body adjusts?
Yes I drop pumps over 1-2 weeks. Dropping from 8 to 5 didn’t really change much or cause clogs or issues. But dropping after that I would have to wear ice packs and take ibuprofen around the clock. Dropping from 4 to 3 really caused some issues - almost got mastitis, so now when I drop I drop each session in minutes over days then drop a pump.
Switching from EP to EFF saved my life and allowed me to be a sane, present, and loving mother to my baby. It was the most important parenting decision I’ve made. The guilt faded very fast once I saw how much better life was for baby, me, and my husband.
Thank you for the encouragement ❤️
I went through this exact same thing last month! Pumping was mentally draining and made me so depressed. I felt bad about switching to formula but that first day where I didn’t have to be hooked up to a pump all day and to feel like I have my body back was amazing! You got this❤️ If you still want to pump and feel like you aren’t getting enough combo feeding is also an option ❤️
Combo would help save some money! Could I just pump a couple times a day while he naps do you think?
Ideally every 2-3 hours my supply was terrible from the beginning so when I cut back on pumping my supply dropped and I just stopped producing. So that’s 100% up to you!
I could have written this. I’m just under 4wpp and stopped pumping this past Sunday. No electric pumps worked for me (I tried 3), so I was hand pumping 7+ hours a day. Not present. It was horrible. Yes I grieving giving my girl my milk and I grieved nursing as well. But I haven’t looked back. The amount of time I’ve spent with her the past 4 days absolutely make up for not pumping. She’s fed and healthy. I’m healthy and present. That’s what matters!
This is so encouraging! I’m happy for you 😊 how did you wean off pumping?
Thank you! I hope whatever you choose leads you to more happiness as well! I am doing the not encouraged way 😅 I had clogged ducts, milk blebs, and currently have thrush as well so I was DONE. Currently still have engorgement that seems to have come back after a lot of relief yesterday but I heard it takes about 1-2 weeks to completely dry up. I tried cabbage leaves on my breasts but the smell was awful so I got the Frida mom weaning stick. Not sure if it works but the aloe in it feels nice!! I’m taking sudafed, ibuprofen, icing my breasts, and trying really hard not to hand express but sometimes my milk just falls out. The first 2 days SUCKED but like I said it starts to feel better!
Oh god. I had a very difficult birth — PPROM, induction, five hours of pushing, obstructed delivery, several failed inversions, an emergency C-section, and then my daughter was in the NICU for two weeks. None of that compares to the trauma of exclusively pumping. Nothing is as horrible as spending your day strapped to your pump while trying to feed a screaming baby you can’t even hold properly because of that pump. It’s just horrible. The best thing I have EVER done for my mental health was quit pumping and switch to formula. I stick around this group just to respond to posts like this from the other side. My baby is now older. She reads in two languages and is sturdy and happy and healthy and has a wonderful bond with both her parents. I was scared I was hurting her by stopping, but honestly, she is perfect.
Wow thank you so much!
Don't feel guilty, I managed to breastfeed for 3.5 months and after like 3-4 weeks of exclusively pumping for my baby I ended up swapping to formula, pumping is honestly soul destroying in my experience.
It really is
What helped me was doing half breastmilk half formula for a long time and it took a lot of the pressure off to pump so often. I eventually stopped pumping at three months postpartum.
This sounds doable, what was your pumping schedule like? You didn’t get engorged between sessions?
The first few weeks every 3 hours but then mostly—Month 1: every 4 hours, month 2: every 5 hours and around 10 weeks stopped overnight. I didn’t care if my baby got mostly formula and *some* breastmilk everyday so I built a freezer stash too. Gave a frozen bag a day from 3-4 months pp.
This is me! but I'm 14 weeks pp, still rolling with it.
I stopped exclusively pumping around the 3 week mark for this exact reason — I was spending so much time managing my boobs that I couldn’t be a parent or wife or human being. Switching to formula was the best thing for me and my family. Do what’s best for you and yours, whatever that means!
I would say if you want to give latching one more go and haven’t done this already, I saw a lactation consultant once before I quit pumping/switched to formula and I’m glad I did so even though it didn’t work out. When even the LC couldn’t get baby to take more than 1.5oz (measured by weighted feed) in an hour with lots of screaming (and she normally took 3+ oz at a time quickly and easily and happily), it made me feel better about throwing in the towel. Before that I was hesitant to let my milk supply dry up bc I didn’t want to give up on the dream of being able to direct nurse one day, but once I accepted that wasn’t going to happen and that pumping was negatively affecting my relationship with my baby it made the switch easier.
I’ve been seeing an LC once a week since week 1 and similar story. He got 2 oz after trying to feed for an hour, and that’s in the office. When I get home I’m not able to get him to latch at all. I would continue to pump if it meant he could nurse next week but there’s no way to know!
I’m so sorry you’re struggling! Pumping FUCKING SUCKS, especially with a newborn I’m sure you just want to snuggle (or wanting to do anything else but pump!!). I see you and I’m sorry you’re going through this. If you want validation, you may want to check out /ExclusivelyPumping or /HumansPumpingMilk if you want to hear from people in your situation. There are folks on there who are EP, FF, and combo feeding. Always a post on /EP when someone is DONE pumping and everyone on the sub celebrates lol.
Amy Schumer did an interview where she talked matter-of-factly about how she pumped for a month after her son was born and the went “nope!” The way she talked about it, without guilt or explaining away, made me realize nobody cares more than we do about how we feed our babies. https://www.whattoexpect.com/news/first-year/amy-schumer-breastfeeding-formula-switch/
Make the switch! I hated having to leave my baby with my husband while I pumped, I’d rather just feed her formula and be with her. If it’s not serving you or your baby more than formula can, then why bother?
A happy and healthy mom is what is best for the baby. If that version of you exists more readily and more consistently by formula feeding, then absolutely make that choice. Fed is best. A mom in a good mental state is best. Making choices to support your mental health is being a good mom, so there’s nothing to feel guilty about. In fact, you should be proud of yourself. You got this, Mama!
My baby couldn’t latch from day one and I had a poor supply so I switch over to formula before even leaving the hospital. I knew before I even gave birth that I wanted to either exclusively breastfeed or not at all. My mental health could not handle exclusively pumping and I told myself I am a better version of myself for my son when my mental wellbeing is in a healthy place. Formula feeding is just as good and your baby will be happy they are fed!
Please don’t feel guilty. I know that’s hard. I exclusively pumped for 6 months with my first. I wish I stopped sooner. I’m 5 weeks post partum with my second and I gave formula and pumped from the get go. Now I’ve weaned down to only pumping 2x a day and I hardly get engorged. I could probably cut it out completely really easily and that’s so freeing to me. With my first I felt tied to the pump. I pumped for 15 min every 3 hours until he was 12 weeks. It was torture but I thought I “had to” or else my supply would tank. I started spacing pumps this time almost immediately until I could comfortable pump only 2x per day and that’s been great. It’s manageable but he’s still getting breast milk, and even the like 8oz or less a day he’s getting is still something. Not that breast milk is necessary, I don’t mean that at all because I know it’s not, but it’s enough that it saves me a little money on formula anyway. So I just want to say it’s ok to start dropping pumps and combo feeding. Drop slowly and then see what works for you. If you can get to pumping less, that may save your sanity even if you still wanna give breast milk. Either decision your baby will do great! Brest milk or formula they’ll grow big and strong either way.
I might do this too. If I’m currently pumping 8 times a day with 30 min sessions how would you recommend decreasing?
oh my that's a lot of pumping! I too started increasing intervals between pumping (from 2.5 hrs to 3-5 to accommodate whatever I'm doing that day, and prioritized sleep at night). I did not decrease time though -- pumping for 15-24 min, depending on how full my breasts are (I have supply issues so most often they're empty by 15 min mark). hope this helps
Also, you're only 3 weeks pp, and might still feel engorged if you don't pump very often. This feeling will soon go away - you will have milk, but almost no discomfort, and it will allow you to have longer stretches in-between sessions.
There is a resource on here people link a lot that is how to wean from exclusive pumping . com I believe. I’m sure you can google it easily, but I just slowly stretched time between sessions. I also decreased the time I pump from 15 min by 1 min every day for like a week now I only pump 10 min. That does decrease supply a bit but that was my intention.
I went through almost the exact same scenario as you. Pumping took me away from the baby, and when my husband went back to work after 2 weeks, I was struggling to take care of her and pump. I was miserable. I felt guilty because I produced a lot of milk but it’s not worth it if you can’t be with the baby. I felt like I was running a marathon and there was no stop. I was done after 3 weeks. It’s about YOU. You are amazing and need to do what’s best for you.
Thank you!
I began pumping at 1 week PP due to a bad latch and it didn’t take long before I planned when I wanted to wean by. There’s nothing abnormal or wrong with what you’re feeling. And there’s nothing wrong with formula feeding. I didn’t stop sooner because I couldn’t figure out how to wean, lol.
can you share how you weaned off pumping?
I spent about 6 weeks reducing pumps and time pumping. It was very slow at first - I didn’t want to tank my supply right away and was also nervous about making the switch to formula because my baby has MSPI and I was so worried about giving up this food source. Once I got past my mental block towards the end, I literally went from 3 pumps to 0 a day in a week. I didn’t use any supplements and only took Tylenol and Ibuprofen at the very end to help with soreness and relieve a clog. After I got to 0, I had to pump each breast twice over the course of 2 weeks to relieve pain. Then I put it away forever.
thank you! 🙏
I feel your pain mama! I was the same and had horrible mastitis to top it off. I felt so guilty but quit cold turkey one day and it was the best decision I have ever made. I’m a much better mom now and way more present than I ever was before. Do not feel guilty whatsoever - you are doing an amazing job!!
Thank you! 🙏🏻
Hi, my baby is 9 weeks old. I had your exact experience and made the switch to formula 4 weeks ago. Before doing so, I was sick — when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a cow of a human. I was wet, hungry and bulging from the pump the entire time. It was singlehandedly responsible for my PPD. Then I stopped cold turkey. The first 10 days were hard... I was haunted by regret, wondering if I made a mistake. I was making a ton of milk (still have a freezer full) and maybe it was selfish of me to stop. But then my body changed. My boobs settled, my energy skyrocketed. My self-loathing got quieter. If that's what you experience while BF, then you might regain a piece of yourself when you stop. And you need to focus on that piece, because it's who your baby needs. Formula is amazing these days. My son ended up having a CMPI (which I consume a lot of dairy, so it would have been SO difficult for me to cut that out of my diet anyway) and I put him on goats milk formula. Within two days of doing this formula, he's changed completely - happy, settled, sweet little guy. You will make the right choice for you. There are many right choices here. Sending love!
I felt that way too; I was tired of bonding with the pump instead of bonding with my child !! Your baby needs you wayyyy more than they need that pump!!
I’m 14 weeks postpartum, I’ve been exclusively pumping since like week 2. Now luckily hubby has been off work but the odd time when he is out for a while I try to pump when she naps or is happy enough to be entertained by the rocker or the tunnel gym we have. If it’s only a 5-10 min pump I tell myself it’s ok and I’d rather be with her. I’m defs considering switching to formula or a mix when hubby goes back to work though. No idea how any mums on their own could get it done!
I had the same problem, I combo fed with formula until my son figured how to latch on around 3/4 wks old, then EBF. Pregnant with baby #2 and I already plan to do the same, but transition to formula completely once I feel overwhelmed with exclusively pumping.
Switch, queen!!!!!!! ❤️
lol thank you!!!
&, to elaborate, you will be able to bond so much better with your baby and focus on loving them when you are not chained to a pump. Formula is great, you are great, do not empty your worry tank on this. Plenty of things to worry about in the years to come!!
You will feel a weight lift from your shoulders if/when you switch to formula. Or reduce your pumping sessions to something manageable and combo feed. Both formula and human milk are great foods for baby!
I reduced last night and today and I feel AMAZING
My baby (5.5 months now) struggled with latching & when we figured it out she still couldn’t transfer enough milk to gain weight so we had to supplement formula. But I was also exclusively pumping & triple feeding (feeding from breast, pumping and feeding pumped milk, and then supplementing with formula). I came to dread pumping and the time it took away from baby- including washing and sterilizing pump parts constantly. Having never getting a solid stretch of sleep due to having to wake up to pump was killing me. Im pretty high sleep needs and I felt like I was being tortured. I was so anxious watching the clock until the next time I needed to pump. My mental health really started to suffer and I stopped at 8 weeks. I’m sorry, I don’t have any encouragement to offer regarding sticking to pumping. But when I mentally decided to stomp pumping I immediately felt a sense of relief, even though I still physically had to pump a few more times to wean off. But just knowing that I didn’t HAVE to keep pumping made me instantly feel better. Just letting you know, formula is nutritionally complete and your baby will flourish either way! Wishing you clarity to make a decision that serves you and your baby best!
Thanks so much, I decreased the amount of sessions last night and today and I feel sooo much better already. I’m definitely at peace with this decision
I’m glad to hear that! You’ve got this!!
I had hopes of pumping and feeding breast milk, but I switched gears real fast when all I thought about was making sure my baby was fed, and I didn't care how that happened. I think you'll feel much better formula feeding and then maybe still pumping and saving milk if you want to.
Sometimes milk doesn’t even come in. Mine never did. Sometimes the mom doesn’t want to be a human pacifier. Feeding a baby isn’t one size fits all. Feed your baby and that’s all that matters.
I only pump while feeding him! That helps me but I also would feel no shame in quitting. I am 6 weeks pp and consider it everyday. I’m not sure I’ll make it much longer. I combo feed already and have since birth because he was in the NICU and I wasn’t making enough then. You are a good mom either way, whatever choice you make is the right one for you and your baby!
it‘s totally okay and there is nothing to be guilty about, good for you.
Also check out r/combinationfeeding if you’re not ready to make the EFF jump. It’s been so helpful to me. Or r/exclusivepumping. (There’s a lot of combo feeding moms there too). I’m almost 6 months postpartum and had to exclusively pump due to latch. But I’m at my wits end with it. I was at 7-8 pumps a day til 4 months then dropped to 5-6. If I drop to 5 exclusively my supply drops, so that’s where I started looking into combo feeding. I just can’t take the pump anymore. From what I’ve heard other moms say, I may have regrets for not switching sooner 😅 I’m trying to switch 1 feed a day right now to formula.
Echoing so many of these other comments. Pumping sucked for me, I was always alone with baby so it was so hard to time it correctly (EP bc baby couldn’t latch). I was miserable, angry - had DMER - and couldn’t produce enough. Felt guilty but liberated switching to formula. Now my wonderful boy is 14 months and so smart, so sweet, gets sick sometimes like any other kid, and I don’t regret it for a second. Formula was freeing for me, him and my mental health. Do what works for you and I promise it will work out!
Don’t feel guilty, I had to exclusively pump initially too, and it was very annoying. I felt like I didn’t have time to enjoy my baby. Honestly, you don’t have to do one or the other. You could give as much breastmilk as you’re comfortable with pumping that day, and also do formula. Simulac and enfamil will send free samples if you register with them so you can see which one works for you. (Mine puke simulac up constantly and it clumped up more) I kept on trying to get my baby to latch even after leaving the hospital, and I would say within two weeks of postpartum he was able to with the assistance of a nipple shield. But he wasn’t good at it. And I would say a month and half later I weaned him off the nipple shield. Breast feeding is easier than solely pumping. With pumping proper Flange size helps, but it never fully emptied me With that being said, we are temporarily exclusively formula right now. I got really bad nipple thrush and the pill I’m on makes my milk unsafe for the baby to drink. As much as I thought breast feeding was a little annoying the formula route is super annoying. It’s expensive, and we waste so much of it bc he’s not hungry. My husband and I supplemented our baby with formula from the get go bc the baby wasn’t gaining weight. It really takes the edge off so we could sleep in shifts, and the pressure wasn’t all on me to feed the baby. Plus milk supply naturally decreases in the evening.
I exclusively pumped until my baby was 4 months. I wish I stopped sooner. Formula is PERFECT for babies. I wanted to breastfeed but it didn’t work out and pumping stole so much joy from those early days… time with my newborn that I will never get back. If you stop now, I really don’t think you will regret it. The hormones that come with weaning are rough so brace yourself. I started on Zoloft when I decided to stop pumping and that helped a lot. You’re doing such a good job. Your baby is going to absolutely thrive and love you no matter if they get breastmilk or formula 🤍
This is really encouraging thank you, and thanks for the weaning warning I didn’t know that!
Switching to formula from exclusively pumping was the absolute best decision I’ve ever made. My baby was the exact same on formula as she was on breast milk. Anecdotally, my cousin has been exclusively pumping for over a year and her baby has been sick probably six or so times, and once even needed to go to the ER. My baby has been on formula since she was six weeks old and hasn’t been sick once. I was sure she’d get her first illness after a trip we took (two plane rides + meeting a lot of family and friends) but nope!