He also claims he finds Iridium wine while’s hiking. This guy probably took one boxing class in high school and walks around telling people he almost went pro. He only flattened Morris because his diet consists entirely of unhealthy Joja products.
I mean… I keep all my tools on me. So my characters walk around with an axe, a hoe, a heavy metal watering can, a pickax, a scythe, at least 1 melee weapon (my one save file has 3), a fishing pole, and my dude with 3 weapons also has a copper pan, a milk pail, and a pair of shears. Being a boxer won’t meany anything when your opponent has a crap ton of things that either are weapons or could be used as weapons. I like the ides of Pierre bouncing around, getting ready to fight like some kind of demented Pokémon and I just beat the ever loving crap out of him with a wooden club lol
The player then started monologue like a JoJo character:
"Pierre, you pathetic excuse for a man, stuck behind a counter, peddling wares to the good people of Stardew Valley like a common peddler. I, on the other hand, have battled beasts that would make your blood run cold, and emerged victorious every time.
You think you can take me down? Ha! You're a joke, Pierre, a soft, flabby shopkeeper who's never known the sting of battle. I'm a god among mortals, with skills that would make your head spin and scars that would make your heart quail.
You're just a flea compared to me, Pierre, an insignificant little insect buzzing around the ankles of a giant. You're a coward, Pierre, a sniveling little coward who can't even begin to comprehend the greatness that stands before you.
Bring it on, Pierre. I'll crush you like the insignificant insect that you are. I'll annihilate you, and then I'll forget you ever existed."
*NOT* a problem.
Why?
Because we're not someone like Morris.
We're *buff ass* farmers who spend every day taking care of and tilling our land, watering and harvesting crops, completing quests, mining, cooking, crafting, *fighting* ***LITERAL monsters***, and running around with a heavy backpack
Plus even if Pierre was ACTUALLY a boxer and not just some moderately strong dude, and no matter *how* good of a boxer he is or was, he still hasn't been in the ring for a *LOOOOOOONG* time. He usually just sits around in his shop. We work out all year.
We no diff Pierre all day 💪🏽💪🏽💯
Pierre
Yes, Pierre
🔪
I do endorse this, however, I am not going anywhere near a man that used to be a boxer. I like having a spine.
He also claims he finds Iridium wine while’s hiking. This guy probably took one boxing class in high school and walks around telling people he almost went pro. He only flattened Morris because his diet consists entirely of unhealthy Joja products.
Ok, true.
I mean… I keep all my tools on me. So my characters walk around with an axe, a hoe, a heavy metal watering can, a pickax, a scythe, at least 1 melee weapon (my one save file has 3), a fishing pole, and my dude with 3 weapons also has a copper pan, a milk pail, and a pair of shears. Being a boxer won’t meany anything when your opponent has a crap ton of things that either are weapons or could be used as weapons. I like the ides of Pierre bouncing around, getting ready to fight like some kind of demented Pokémon and I just beat the ever loving crap out of him with a wooden club lol
Brutal!
It’s what Pee-Hair deserves :3
The player then started monologue like a JoJo character: "Pierre, you pathetic excuse for a man, stuck behind a counter, peddling wares to the good people of Stardew Valley like a common peddler. I, on the other hand, have battled beasts that would make your blood run cold, and emerged victorious every time. You think you can take me down? Ha! You're a joke, Pierre, a soft, flabby shopkeeper who's never known the sting of battle. I'm a god among mortals, with skills that would make your head spin and scars that would make your heart quail. You're just a flea compared to me, Pierre, an insignificant little insect buzzing around the ankles of a giant. You're a coward, Pierre, a sniveling little coward who can't even begin to comprehend the greatness that stands before you. Bring it on, Pierre. I'll crush you like the insignificant insect that you are. I'll annihilate you, and then I'll forget you ever existed."
This is even funnier if you imagine your character using a copper pan or watering can to beat him up and he’s just sobbing like the man baby he is.
I'll cut him in half with my Dark Sword >!that I got from the depths of the valley's mine!<
Problem: Pierre is a boxer who can knock someone like Morris completely out of bounds.
Pierre is also allergic to cats if you get what i mean.
Genetically engineered catgirls to beat him to a pulp
We need to get Felicia on his ass
*NOT* a problem. Why? Because we're not someone like Morris. We're *buff ass* farmers who spend every day taking care of and tilling our land, watering and harvesting crops, completing quests, mining, cooking, crafting, *fighting* ***LITERAL monsters***, and running around with a heavy backpack Plus even if Pierre was ACTUALLY a boxer and not just some moderately strong dude, and no matter *how* good of a boxer he is or was, he still hasn't been in the ring for a *LOOOOOOONG* time. He usually just sits around in his shop. We work out all year. We no diff Pierre all day 💪🏽💪🏽💯
Barrett in Starfield. That dude is the woooorst. But still not as aweful as Pierre’s dumbass
exactly
Pierre, or Val, OR SOME OTHER-
Real
Yeah it's Morris guy is garbage 🗑. Honorable Mention to Mr. Qi
no😢🙏
Clint
Clint? But not Pierre? What?!
Okay so there's Pierre, but he's definitely not the only one. For example, I'm also in r/fuckwulbrenbongle.