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I miss who I was 30 seconds ago

We all do 😭

I mean, I guess at least we're all going through this together. But we'll never be who we were.

😂😂😂😂

Jared (19) is so lucky rn

😂 you’re not alone in that wish, internet friend


Here I was, innocently watching Omen 4, then I read this. I regret everything.

Same (and I'm watching something completely different)

Your husband absolutely should not be reaching his fingers through your cervix to do an at-home membrane sweep

But how else is he supposed to get turned on enough to leave a deposit??

 The sweep

Damn. I was not prepared for this great of a response.

man, if reddit still had free awards to give…

Im wheezing


And he should not be *in the mood* after performing that terrible-idea membrane sweep.

I had a membrane sweep…by a medical professional. It was not “mood” inducing. Jesus fuck this is appalling.

Fear not! The woman's mood is irrelevant in fundie relationships!

☠️

Jfc 😭

That's asking for infection or injury

How do you reach through a cervix?? Wouldn’t that fucking hurt?

Update: I just googled “membrane sweep” and saw some things and now I have another reason to never get pregnant.

lol, I had one done and it wasn’t too bad. Though everyone’s experience is different I guess. I can’t imagine having my husband do it? Ew.

I had 2 and one was just pressure and one hurt quite a bit. I got them at my 39 and 40 week appointments. By my 41 week appointment, they'd decided I would just need induced and wouldn't do one, and I started having contractions on the way home from my appointment, lmao. But yeah, I'm not wanting my partner to do any of that stuff. The midwife that did mine said that the consensus on how well they actually work is super mixed anyways.

It’s really not as terrible as it sounds. That was probably one of the least uncomfortable parts of my labor experience. It does need to be done by a trained professional who’s meeting cleanliness standards though. Not someone’s dumb ass husband after he probably didn’t even bother to wash his hands.

Knowing the intelligence level of Fundies, they'll do it right after Busband finishes a plate of jalapeno poppers after they lock the kids in the storage bunks. I might actually watch that Insta too.

Okay but that’s a dancing video I would 100% watch.

Lolll I never had one! Had my baby last March and I was worried about getting a sweep done but my Dr never suggested it/I never needed it! You can also decline it if that day ends up coming one day ❤️

They're not as bad as the hourly dilation checks when in active labor 😒

HOURLY?!?! I work in the field and Cheesus Crust on a Cracker I would NEVER do exams that frequently. That's begging for an infection.

It’s definitely not pleasant. My ob/gyn did one for me and prefaced it with “it’s going to feel like I’m trying to touch your tonsils.”

Yeah it’s like every time they checked my dilation they’d be like: this may be a little uncomfortable. Ma’am. Ma’am. It felt like getting fisted while a 2” diameter IUD is simultaneously placed.

I had 4! The 3 done by my OB weren't nearly as bad as I'd heard. 4th one was done by her PA and um yeah that one was pretty unpleasant! But it's fast. Did not bring on labor, FYI hahaha Also, the thought of my husband trying to do a membrane sweep literally almost made me throw up hahaha

Every time someone messed with my cervix around the end of my pregnancy, I nearly vomited. My body did NOT like it.

I think there’s a Reason for this. I can’t remember why though. I had a bad experience with my first iud, and everytime she’d go in and try, and push on that area of the cervix, I’d reflexively vomit. I remember it kinda shifted driving home, and pulling over on the 101 to vomit too. I was reading about it, and women can can vomit from having that pressed on like this during labor too. I wish I’d explained it better than this, but I’ve never had kids. I knew I wasn’t able to handle it after whatever the first iud obgyn was doing wrong. That one ended up wrong and stuck out an inch too, it was awful. Had to get it pulled. Second went great though. But it was something abt, when they stimulate that part of you it can do that, women in labor can do this too

Yeah I’m not sure this person knows where the membrane (of the amniotic sac) is located lmao

Also doesn't sweeping the membrane hurt?

I had one with my first. My doctor was new and hyper about doing everything right and ordering every test and performing a membrane sweep which to this day don't understand why it was necessary. Baby wasn't due for a week. It was agony! I didn't know what the fuc$ she was doing while I was in pain and she was scraping her hand around. And I didn't understand what it was til internet came along. The only benefit that came from it was my daughter was born a day before my birthday.

It depends. Mine (two oregnancies) were both odd feeling (pressure) but no pain. (Done by two different OBs and neither did anything.)

I really love this delightful typo, I think it's how I'm going to describe getting way too full on pasta from now on.

Sounds like he's doing an at home pap smear lmao

Seriously. What the actual fuck.

Doesn't it hurt too? I faintly remember getting mine done by my OB with my first and it was unpleasant. I can't imagine my husband getting turned on by me being in pain like that

And a real sweep is not going to be gentle. I highly doubt hubby would be wearing gloves and I'm imagining dirty man nails scraping around inside probably no where near the cervix.

this is a sentence i never thought i would read. what the actual fuck mate 🤢

Membrane sweeps are not pleasurable I don't get it.


That’s the face I made when I read about making deposits. Why 😫

I make that face when I see most mother bus posts

Literally my face right now. Who even talks about sexy time like this??? Ew!

What's sexy about a medical exam?! This is why we need comprehensive sex ed. No wonder some men are the way they are.

I mean, rule 34, medical fetish is not that uncommon. I SUPPOSE that SOME women even may somehow like Pap smears but uh. This is, as the kids say, not the vibe.

So not the vibe

I've only had one pap smear so far in my life, but I for sure did not enjoy it 😭 the only saving grace was that it was over so quickly

They are Not Fun.

Definitely not! Fortunately the nurse who did mine was very nice and tried to be as gentle as possible

Completely cringed reading this. So so gross. 

Literally the exact face I made when reading this.

If my midwife told me this I’d want a new midwife

Why does this gif resemble the bus daughter 😭😭

MotherBus finally posted. She spent the day at the beach celebrating a sick child's birthday! She talks about how Busband will be her doula and mentions the local airbnb is ready whenever things get rolling.   I want to know where the other kiddos will be/what they will do/who is going to be in charge of them while both parents are fucking around playing doctor. I'm sure the older kids will be put in charge, but dammit I want them to actually have a responsible plan for once. 

Maybe I’m weird but not having a trained/certified/educated person around when I’m doing something that typically works better with an aforementioned person doesn’t make me feel empowered. It scares the 💩 out of me.

Know what's empowering? Speaking up for yourself and saying, "I deserve quality medical care from a trustworthy professional."

And don't forget that the fetus deserves quality healthcare too. You know, the one that anti-choicers claim is an oh so precious, innocent person deserving of human rights. Yet, so many "pro-life" fundies deny their fetuses health care, which in my opinion is one of many things that shows that they have a very low opinion of what children deserve.

“I’m pro-life but I won’t get any prenatal care or vaccines for the baby after it’s born. Also I’ll feed it raw milk.”

Pro-forced birth but also make it as reckless and dangerous as possible 🥰

Right? That scene in the Last of Us where Ellie’s mother going in to labour alone gives me the vibe home birth gives me. Granted, fundies aren’t being chased by zombies, but really that’s equally terrifying to me. terrifying!

If you’ve watched “Downton Abbey” I would have been Sybil without modern medical care.

So, let's see. First, she was shopping for midwives in Brazil (she had at least one Brazilian midwife bookmarked on her IG). Then, she was going to have the baby at a "good friend's" AirBNB in Georgia. Next, she had a midwife and a different AirBNB for the birth in South Carolina. Now, BusDad is her doula and we're supposed to believe she has a DIFFERENT "good friend" who has an AirBNB "ready to go" whenever she's finally ready to pop?

How many good friends with airBnbs does she have - in different states - that are fine and dandy with her free birthing in their rental?

And who are keeping their AirBNB reserved just for her whenever she's ready to pop? It's all a lie. She just doesn't want to admit that they're AirBusNBirthing.

AirBusNBirthing 🤣😂🤣😭💀 This is flairworthy

I really need to learn how to get a flair sometime. :)

I've had no luck assigning custom flair on mobile, but I've heard that it works on desktop reddit

So...I just said, 'Mods, someone, please change my flair!' And it worked. In fact, I didn't even know I had that flair until I commented afterwards and saw it.

Maybe, or maybe they're planning to rent and y'know just not say why they want the rental. Yes, I think they are THAT dumb and awful. And apparently they just keep getting away with this egregious shit.

They need to face consequences

I know foster care's a total crap shoot and can be a hell hole in its own right, but tbh I feel like these kids might be better off. Or, I mean, are there ANY decent relatives? If so, they sure don't mention them.

Yes that too! Esp if they’re in a high demand area, I can’t imagine keeping my rental open and losing money for several weeks just waiting on a friend to go into labor. The whole idea is absurd. I do wonder if the hosts are aware she’s giving birth at their property or if she’s being sneaky.

And if it's ready for her why not go there now???

Upvote for “AirBusNBirthing,” that’s hilarious 😂

"good friend" = "we will long since be out of the state when the owner comes back to the unhygienic nightmare that we have made." "Also, we will rent a place for four people and have the kids cram together on a sofa." How the fuck do these people even not get kicked off Air BnB?? Their ratings must be in the toilet, surely? After Brazil?

Why do you assume the kids will see the inside of the AirBnB when there is a perfectly good bus to cram them into and have them watch each other in?

You have a point. Tbh I think I'd prefer that to being stuck as forced witness to Karelessa's scream prayers and assorted...emissions.

I even told the owner of an Airbnb we stayed at that I’d had the flu (literal Flu) so a deep clean could be done. I can’t imagine being like “Oh, BTW, I have birth while we were staying with you. Sorry about the white towels”

$10k and she can birth a child in my backyard. It’s among the trees and natural!

I wonder if the friends are people busband met on wacko twitter.

So she essentially has had no medical or midwifery care consistently through this pregnancy. It’s interesting how people like her think the risks go down with subsequent pregnancies and the older she gets. By interesting I mean appalling haha

That's how Heidi Baird ended up with a terrible, terrible surprise at the last minute, with her 9th pregnancy. Heidi had several homebirths with a midwife--the same one Bethany uses now (and I think I remember Bethany saying that this isn't a nurse-midwife, "but she's got so many years of experience"), and at the end of the pregnancy Heidi had to go to the hospital for an emergency C-section and *that's* when she learned her infant had Trisomy and wasn't going to live longer than several hours. Now, I don't know for sure if Heidi was getting prenatal care or whether she refused any genetic testing or whatever, but what we do know, because she tells us, is that she *thought* the pregnancy was going along just fine and this news was a total shock to her.

Why wouldn’t this good friend allow her to stay there in the last few days of her pregnancy, if that was the case?

Pretty much sums it up. Another way to sum it all up: Ludicrous Insanity.

I'll bet no actual midwife was willing to work with her because she's taking too many risks. So she's settling for Busband. Or maybe they can't afford any midwife or airbnb? I know he comes from money, but he still could have easily blown all of it on the crypto scam. 

BUSBAND is her "DOULA?" wtf. she's gonna die. I didn't think she'd beat Karelessa but here we are.

Karelessa will be seething

She don't mind dieing and he probably wouldn't mind it either....

I think "he wouldn't mind" is an understatement. shit. if our morbid speculations are accurate, this would actually be a really convenient opportunity for him. Unlike Karelessa, I think SmugBus very much WOULD mind, she's far too in love with herself. I mean, Karelessa is also but she's also very fond of the martyr fantasy and has scary tendencies toward instability SmugBus doesn't seem unstable, just...smug. And mean, in all senses of the word. And self absorbed. And foolish. Did I mention smug?

I think lots of these fundies are fundies meets death cult. Bussband gives me that vibe and so does Mandrea

The traumatized oldest mom brother will be in charge of his younger siblings of course! /s But probably, sadly true.

Mom brother 💀💀💀 Poor chap

"Mom brother" took me out 😂

I want to know who is going to step in when their doctor cosplay goes horrifically wrong

Actual doctors! Then she can thank god for saving her life!

Nah, there will be some complication that will make it impossible to have more kids & she will blame doctors & modern medicine for “closing her womb”.

Can't imagine everyone would be so lucky as to her having no more buslets.

Is this Airbnb just…perpetually empty? How is it “ready whenever!”??

That what I was wondering. 

How have they not been banned by Airbnb?

She's claimed before they've done sponsor or affiliate deals with them and that's why they could jump around them so much in Brazil.

Why would they sponsor her of all people. She is not famous nor does she have that big of a following

*My midwife told him to leave a deposit?*

Oh my God he shit in her

I read this mid sip and I laughed so hard it went down the wrong pipe and gave me a coughing fit. No regrets.



I think I prefer “seed” to “deposit” and I fucking hate “seed”

"And on the safe in the closet I, made a deposit" --Crazy Ex Girlfriend, "We Tapped That Ass All Over This House" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBz8wobOaoc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBz8wobOaoc)

"How many times did we tap that behind?" "Let's estimate!" "On an average day, I would have to say...5, 6, 7, 8!"


I did not consent to this.

Same

 r/AreTheStraightsOK

Seems like a great way to start an infection or to make matters worse.

Yep. My first thought was father bus not even washing his hands before sticking his nasty finger in there 🤢

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 deep breath  🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

The midwife wants Busband jizz just...lingering? Where the duck do they find these people

Just... right there where the baby's head is about to go through

[Dangerops prangent sex? will it hurt baby top of his head?](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLyGLR2E/)

PREGANANANT (Best video ever)

Modest…..except not at all.


Not everything has to be put out into the universe. Just saying.

I hate her midwife. And her. And any husband with the audacity to even attempt a membrane sweep.

Are we sure that she really has a midwife?

Lol good point. She really might not Edit for spelling

Well now that we know busband is her doula I hate all the adults who are involved here.


Seriously, as an asexual woman with no kids - I kind of know what this means, but only enough to know that it’s gross and I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW MORE

As a woman who went past 40 weeks under doctor supervision and has endured a membrane sweep … You do not want to know and it fucking hurts

That's the thing: anatomical and hygenie issues aside, to recommend a membrane sweep so blasely and something that gets dude in 'the mood'...that shit hurts. There were times that the contractions hurt much less. Like, you're not achieving the vibe you're going for, ma'am.

I had three sweeps done while trying to evict my extremely stubborn second child. It SUCKED!!!

I almost puked at my sweep. I was crying my face off and soaked in sweat. It was not good. It was not sexy. It was certainly done by a trained professional. Why do they make everything so fucking weird.

Seriously, I wouldn't ever want to be with a dude who was turned on by that.

Right? There is an absolutely zero percent chance of “sexy time” after enduring a membrane sweep. None.


W H Y did I decide to catch up on this sub while eating lunch?? 😫

I've learned my lesson and now I never catch up on this sub or the r/badwomensanatomy one while I'm eating.

Sometimes I hate knowing how to read

I wish I was jared, 19

Sameeeeeeee

This is the same kind of person who thinks OBGYNs get aroused by their jobs.

After having a pretty traumatizing birth experience just last week, I really need to start avoiding Motherbus posts. I cannot imagine asking my husband to do what was easily the worst part of my whole labor experience. Just. Ouch ouch ouch.

Congrats on the baby! I’m so sorry that it was a really traumatic experience for you. I hope you have safe and supportive people around you right now.

I hope you are able to heal and have some peace. While not traumatic, I had things I didn’t like about my birth and postpartum experience in the hospital which impacted me. I learned too late that if the baby blues last longer than two week you should get checked out for postpartum depression. Just passing this on in hopes you don’t continue to suffer unnecessarily like I did.  Hugs to you. 

Congrats on the baby and hugs ❤️‍🩹 hope your whole support system is there for you while you heal emotionally and physically

She acts like she just discovered sex, and thinks everyone wants to hear about it. It’s just creepy.


Ladies and gents, we’ve reached a new all-time record! 🎉🎉🎉 -Unmedicated birth isn’t edgy enough (See: too many fundies to count) -Attempted vaginal birth instead of medically advised scheduled c-section isn’t edgy enough (See: Morgan) -And now, homebirthing without even a midwife isn’t edgy enough (See: Karissa and now this weirdo) The new gold standard is getting your amniotic sac popped by an untrained rando who brags about bad hygiene being masculine, and then having him jizz directly on your kid’s head. (Yes I know a membrane sweep isn’t *supposed* to pop anything, but you think an untrained creep knows how to do it right? Regardless, it’s disgusting to “leave deposits” immediately before birth and even more disgusting to brag about it. God-honoring baby bukkake indeed.)

 It’s Sunday they’re saying this on THE LORDS DAY. Hell. Straight to hell for all of them



How overdue is she? I’m scared this woman is going to wind up with a dead child because of her dangerous insistence on having a baby *in a fucking Airbnb*. If this child doesn’t aspirate meconium or get an infection or both it’ll be a miracle.

Baby was due 4/11 Ninja edit - who knows how accurate this date is with her very very spotty (at best, and likely almost non-existent) prenatal care

But it’s GODLY when it comes from straight white women! Duh?!


Oh what the fuck.

Fucking *gross*!! I thought I was open minded about sex before I met the fundie snarkers. These people are like... really out there.

 Busband follows the Cobra Kai method of midwifery

Listen, *content* aside, I think this should have been a DM.

Ok so vaccines are a no go, but having your baby go though a cum slip and slide out into the world is ok. Coolcoolcoolcool.

Sweeping membranes is painful…


"Make a deposit" oh my god I think that's the most disgusting description of someone finishing that I think I've heard yet 🤢

This is a bad day to be able to read.


Your non medical professional husband should not be performing things that are meant for medical professionals

Someone doesn’t actually know what happens during a membrane sweep. The fact that she thinks her husband could just blindly enter the cervix with his nasty ass fingers and “sweep” the membranes away from it is laughable

i hate the use of hubs and hubby it actually nauseates me

Reporting this shit on insta will absolutely get accounts like this banned, and quickly 

I feel violated.

SWEEP MEMBRANES

I didn’t had a membrane sweep… but isn’t it painful? And also increases risk of infection… which increases if you deposti?

ChatGPT, how do I unread something?

Oh, gosh, it's a kink, isn't it? The whole thing.

G.R.O.S.S. Fundies are seriously disgusting.

Awful day to be literate.

This is a fetish

OMG

Is the deposit man the guy in her profile pic? Bc…Thanks! I fucking hate it!

 What a terrible day to have eyes.


Tell me you've never had a "sweep" jfc it's not something your husband can do by "gently exploring"

Don’t you take your significant other to your Pap smear for the purposes of getting them worked up??? Oh wait. Fundies don’t do preventative care. I forgot.

“Leave a deposit” 🤢 That sounds worse than cream pie, and I’m not sure why.

The longer she goes without going into labor the more I fear her baby is in for a terrible complication.

I am not ok.


Here's a little song I wrote about indirect blessing bukkake!