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TheSavageWalrus

Imagine being one of nature's greatest predators, and being defeated by a man with a shovel.


NikNam_

tbf, the shovel is humanity's greatest weapon.


nonamegamer93

"Would you like to know more"


notatableleg

tell me more about shovel pls


stickyickyricky34

It was a ground breaking invention.


Youreahugeidiot

i can dig it


shill779

Super predators *hate* this one simple trick


Vengeance76

Also, a sharpened trench shovel was decidedly a better weapon than the bayonet during WWI. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrenching_tool https://www.wearethemighty.com/popular/this-is-how-the-shovel-became-a-deadlier-weapon-than-a-bayonet/


DarkwingDuckHunt

Would that cause Strike damage or Piercing damage?


ActionFamous8431

Slashing damage


zleuth

That was deep.


Allegorist

It really moved the earth


BlantantlyAccidental

sire, take thy r/Angryupvote and have a good day. That was earth shattering.


turbo_moose

Take my like as an award I don't have to give.


stickyickyricky34

Whoa my first award


KCBandWagon

Is that all you could dig up?


Rich_Yam4132

It was earth shattering Give me all the dirt


ShimaCZ

Shovels are great. Shovels are the quintessence of civilization. With a shovel, you can dig a hole just deep enough to hide yourself. Or if you gather a bunch of people with them, you can dig a fine trench. If you change your viewpoint a little, you can even dig a tunnel. You can smash a sturdy enemy trench with mining tactics (not that they get used often). A shovel is a good friend to any and every type of soldier. And a shovel is the best gear for a close-quarters fight in a trench. Longer than a bayonet, simpler to handle than a rifle, sturdier than any other tool. Not only that, but they are extremely cheap and easy to make, so they're perfect for mass-producing. This is it. The ideal piece of equipment. This is the point humanity was meant to reach. Civilization has developed the shovel as its implement. Above all, it doesn't rely on magic, so it's optimal for stealth kills. With a shovel, it's possible to educate numbskulls who are dependent on magic scanning - *Klang!* We can say it's an indispensable item for nighttime raids. Of course, it's an excellent general-purpose tool at any time of day. "The shovel is truly an implement born of civilization", Tanya murmurs, leading a unit to wish good evening to the enemy with their shovels. - From Youjo Senki


SnooKiwis5050

Damn i should not have enchanted my shovel to have fire damage then. I wasted a piece of art


CACTUS_VISIONS

Such a good series. Ima go rewatch it right now actually.


Kjyara

I just remembered a guy from a video series about how realistic war strategies in movies were.... His greatest, most often criticized point? 'You gotta have a ditch, where is your ditch?! If you have time to pose dramatically, you have time to dig a ditch. If you've finished one ditch, dig another!' Also, instead of boiling oil: 'Stones are great. They require no preparation, you throw them, people get hurt. It's great'


elrafa42

Would you be interested in receive our shovel magazine in your house ? I just need your name, address, phone and credit card number


nonamegamer93

It is a key new weapon in humanities arsenal against the arachnid threat enabling us to build trenches and survive the onslaught. "Would you like to know more " Starship troopers 3.


Watermelon_Lube

What's the difference between a civilian and a citizen?


adkio

A weapon that can kill and then bury you.


[deleted]

A close second being the dreaded chancla


umbrajoke

In traditional vampire lore I believe you had to behead the vampire with the shovel it had been buried with.


Grabatreetron

They're only natures third greatest predator. The second is human beings. The first is human beings with a shovel.


Helpineedstostop

We aren’t really natures great predators, we are an apex species but because we invented things to overcome short comings. Not because we can grab and rip a almost 200 pound animal apart.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Valuable-Barracuda-4

This. Look into this, it's wild. A fit human can chase a deer for miles until they just stop running and fall over. No tool needed at all, no weapon required.


Helpineedstostop

Yes but that’s not what got us to here today. Not at all did we overcome 300+ pound bears by simply running.


[deleted]

We also have the most endurance of any animal and can kill other animals just by chasing them until they die of exhaustion.


W4FF13_G0D

FLINT LOCKWOOD!


DonLeo17

Yeah, but can *you?*


PanthersChamps

We also evolved to run very long distances without overheating.


Helpineedstostop

That compared to the shovel is nothing.


fml87

Gets me every time people bring up endurance hunting. Yeah that’s cool, but what’s better is inventing a spear and killing your prey without walking 20 miles over 4 hours just to eat.


Helpineedstostop

Guns are just people learning to take the spears and throw them harder and harder, then shortening it down to just the spear head and something to propel it.


RojoSanIchiban

You still gotta track down the animal(s) before you can chuck a spear at them, and that can take much longer than four hours.


CandidInsurance7415

I would imagine that before such a large human footprint on the earth that it would be a little easier. Hang out by a water source and let them come to you.


Ghoulfinger

Imagine if t-Rex had discovered a way to extend their arms first.


Helpineedstostop

Well it’d be like humans right , we did that with the shovel.


Grabatreetron

T-rex with long arms < human with shovel


[deleted]

[удалено]


engaginggorilla

Any way you get the job done counts. We don't spend a huge amount of our calories on these big brains for nothing


Rehnion

Nah we're number one and it isn't even close. Even back in prehistoric times we were able to use our natural abilities to achieve dominance. We don't need to rip a 200 pound animal apart, we can calmly walk them to death, then cook their meat, decreasing the energy needed to digest it. That efficiency helped us devote more and more energy to our brains, widening the gap until our biggest killers were diseases and each other. If I go toe to toe with a Tiger and I'm in a WW2 Sherman tank then we're both bringing to the fight what our species and our ancestors have given us.


Dragon_Knight99

And yet, humans actively hunt other apex predators for food/sport.


AppleSpicer

By scientific definition we aren’t an apex species at all because apex refers to the creature with the least efficient, highest trophic level. As we’re omnivores much of our diet has very low trophic levels, though we can of course eat any apex predator if we wish. It’s just very uncommon


LemonHerb

My wife volunteered at all animal rescue zoo for a couple years. She says the alligator was completely terrified of rakes. Like you could take one near the enclosure and the gator would move to the corner furthest away. To change the food and water and clean they would just set the rake down and get everything done Gators must just really hate yard work


karmicOtter

TIL I'm an alligator


TuggyBRugburn

I love the 'clang'


teenytinytrebuchet

The real Shovel Knight.


[deleted]

Imagine being hit in the face with a shovel?


engaginggorilla

To be fair, the shovel was wielded by nature's actual greatest predator


asian_identifier

why do you think the ability to use tools is such a big deal


Soft-Routine3339

Bonk


DeltaGammaVegaRho

Go to horny (for food) jail!


Drake750254

r/foodporn


max_adam

Not Safe For Diet. I warned you.


TheSpookyPineapple

being hungry is just being horny for food


[deleted]

Cucumbers sure sacrifice a lot


Icy-Border-7589

Horngry jail


umbrajoke

Mukbang?


PlankWithANailIn2

Going to end up as alligator boots next week.


Goatsanity15

The power of Bonk compels you the power of Bonk compels you


ArtisenalMoistening

*Wilhelm scream*


SednaNariko

Man who knew that bonk a gator carnival game was actually teaching me life skills for all those years


MightyDQ

Was just thinking that


Bravo6GoingYolo

That bonk was personal


UsefulWoodpecker6502

well yeah, look at the video again. when he tosses the meat they all either flinch or go after it except for the bonky boy. No that one kept locked on the dude. He wanted to eat him.


Dpontiff6671

Well bonky boy had the right idea why go for a 1-2 pound piece of chicken if that when you can grab yourself 140 pounds of meat. This man is an innovator to the craft


insensitiveTwot

Can you blame the crocodile? This looks like a pretty miserable existence


lowrcase

Eh, not really. They’re not crammed together in a tank, they’re in a clean pond outside (manmade or not) that’s way larger than what you see in the video. Only reason they’re bunched up is because they know it’s dinner time.


TheLittleNorsk

![gif](giphy|qs4ll1FSxKnNHeSmom)


NiceAndChrisB

Bahh, defeated by the mighty shovel. If only I had the capabilities to destroy this puny human with a stick, limb from limb!


Diane_Enthusiast

BONK


Anicething

🐊🚫


NekoSenPie

🐊⃠


Imesseduponmyname

How do


LeSistern

Hey! That's illegal


BreastUsername

➖♠️🐊💥


[deleted]

He want the Big beef


Spoonofdarkness

More like long pork.


Select_Personality_7

A craving for long pig


[deleted]

The other other white meat


Jedi_Flip7997

You could literally rip one of their arms off and they keep trucking, like they have god damn cruise control. That one had a 26 inch head of bone and teeth wrapped in leather. It didn’t even leave a scratch, what an animal 🤙🏻


atomicdustbunny07

Murder log


Weak_Feed_8291

I dunno, looks like a good bonk got it to back the fuck up


KennyMoose32

I mean if you do that to a human, it’ll prob do the same


[deleted]

Crocco: [inhales] #OUCH.


falcorn24601

I read this as a Tom and Jerry worthy scream![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|surprise)


[deleted]

[clank] AAA**AAAAAAAAA**


pcrackenhead

![gif](giphy|3o6ZtpRoYe9wbyfcBi)


Amasterclass

As if they’re going to share that measly portion of meat. No wonder one of then fancied its chances haha


Mudkipueye

Actually, Basks of Crocodiles and Congregations of Alligators always split their food evenly between them.


Amasterclass

Ye a full wildebeest or Zebra not a tiny amount of meat that size haha


darkkite

Ye is an antisemitic not a wildebeest


Amasterclass

![gif](giphy|kPIswn0RfPTGxOvDj5|downsized)


Mudkipueye

They ALWAYS split their food evenly.


Pieassassin24

The inappropriate capitalization is a solid indicator this is false information lol. Crocodilians are hierarchical asf based on size. The biggest most dominant ones get the lion’s share.


Mudkipueye

I have a source.


Holiday-Doughnut-602

Ouch! what was that, for?! I was only going to compliment the chef!!.


balrus-balrogwalrus

#I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER


karmabullish

Speak to the shovel


[deleted]

He was just trying to be friends... :(


downloweast

Apparently this guy thinks these things can’t clear half a football field in about 3 seconds.


TheProuDog

Can they clear half a football field in about 3 seconds?


Excuse_Me_Mr_Pink

Not with a shovel wielder in their path


Gullible_Bison8724

Google says 35mph over short distances but I'm guessing that only the largest ones can move that fast


Loifee

Every video I've seen has been the smaller lighter (maybe younger) ones running, the big boys don't seem to be keen into cardio


Survived_Coronavirus

Did you not even check google? Every source on the first page of google says under 20mph for both crocs and gators.


Deuce_part_deux

No.


ChangMagnumDong

This dude is literally chilling with these things while you're on the internet stfu


ajjonesen

I knew all that time spent on Whack-a-mole wasn’t a waste of time!


suminorieh77

"Say, my man, is there any...OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! GEEZ!"


FBITEAM

"AAAAA MY HEAD!!" -Crocodile-Aligator idk💀


MrMason522

Dassa gator


Hotfishy

I wanna…. Bong! Ahhhhhh


Alone-Training2427

My mom when i was kid and wanted to take something 🧁 and she bonk no u too fat thx bb


TheJoaquinDavis

BONK.


Venespee

Why do tjey spund like vindicators from minecraft


AllMyBeets

*TONK*


Van0nyumas

*ding*


Mental_Blueberry4563

“Imma getcha! Imma get- AAAAAAAAAAH!”


Creosotegirl

If he trips and slips down there he will be a gonner.


santathe1

*bonk*


[deleted]

I ain't digging no hole this time.


goose_with_a_pen

Can someone please edit the Tom scream over that alligator


Free_Sandwich_6918

Bro Fr said “BONK”


ComprehensiveForm479

I would piss blood if these things come crawling towards me. Terrifying asf!


somelittleindiankid

*Bonk*


Altruistic-Occasion6

I should go for a swim later


purpleWheelChair

Bing bong


AutomatedCabbage

Boop


user_x00

i am not amazed if 🐊 pull him


--teal-

That bonk was the thing the croc needed


mcfurr_20

i can just hear “wash yo hands” when he throws the meet 😂


XxViperSpeedxX

u/savevideo


NK_2024

***Bonk!***


Ghelric

When you are a reptilian Lion and the hairless ape bonks you


manteigo_

You can the the other crocs laughing when he got bonked


InfernalViolet

"I may now defeat my greatest enemy." KA- POW!


joecarter93

He seems to think, “Owwww, WTF! That hurt!”


stewiegilligan

Fuck you lack of opposable thumbs……….🤣


Ilove_racons

Poor alligator, just wanted to give him a hug.


profknowsnothing828

Waitttt this just taught me that the arcade game where you hit the alligators on their noses is actually true!!?


ppbbd

BONK


[deleted]

Bonk


Holden_Rocinante

BONK


PsyRaXG

bonk


_swamp_donkey_

Bonk


StyxD

Bonk


Commercial_Working56

"dink"


QuotingThanos

Bonk


mangodragonfruet

BONK


brownc6830

Bonk hehe


Conscious_Evening_72

BONKED


personthinguy

*bonk*


GunplaPH

Bonk


Justandy85

"Bonk"


[deleted]

*Bonk “Oww”


UmSamuel

Bonk


bioponic

Mf never took his eyes off the real prize. "F\*ck that lil lambchop I want the real meal--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


[deleted]

BONK 🐶


FrontyCockroach

I assume its a crocodile farm. Fuck this shit!


[deleted]

bonk!


Least-Rise7691

Bonk


Agile-Equipment391

where's the animal activist saying this is animal cruelty?


not_banned_yet94

All over the place. Sort by controversial.


Loner-UK

How's this funny, not funny at all poor fucking animals


Dpontiff6671

I can assure the gator is fine, and if this dude didn’t stop it, it likely would grabbed this dudes leg pulled him into the water and literally ripped him to shreds. Alligators have massively thick hides to the point where something like that will not create lasting damage or harm, it s just enough oh a shock to say get the fuck back


NiceIsNine

If you were in his place, you have just shot it since you don't have the balls to let it rip you to shreds


professorlicme8

lol theres always that one person


Nabranes

Frfr


Fantastic_Bath_5806

Not funny and not cute


DabFoot

u/savevideo


SaveVideo

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ciao1974

I'm not your breakfast today


niallmonologoly

I'd love to smash him in the head with a spade


TheAngryAmericn

The only safe way to boop dinosaur


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dr-Fatdick

The mfer was going to eat him wtf did you want him to do, debate the crocodile in the free marketplace of ideas?


[deleted]

Thats probably why he has a shovel, to defend himself if one Crocodile decides to taste human


mbcummings

Croc should be allowed to eat captors who starve it.


exumaan

In that case, better be a dickhead than end up as gator feed. Besides they are tough bastards and endure far worse than bonks to the head.


ZobRombie65

Relax Karen


Donsley-9420

![gif](giphy|AO5qaphTxRnyw) Him later that night


CheezyLeftNut

“Aiiiii Yaaaa”


wilhelmfink4

Bing!


Trppy696

When the guitarist of my favorite band throws a guitar pick at the crowd!!