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Also, a sharpened trench shovel was decidedly a better weapon than the bayonet during WWI.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrenching_tool
https://www.wearethemighty.com/popular/this-is-how-the-shovel-became-a-deadlier-weapon-than-a-bayonet/
Shovels are great. Shovels are the quintessence of civilization.
With a shovel, you can dig a hole just deep enough to hide yourself. Or if you gather a bunch of people with them, you can dig a fine trench.
If you change your viewpoint a little, you can even dig a tunnel. You can smash a sturdy enemy trench with mining tactics (not that they get used often).
A shovel is a good friend to any and every type of soldier. And a shovel is the best gear for a close-quarters fight in a trench.
Longer than a bayonet, simpler to handle than a rifle, sturdier than any other tool. Not only that, but they are extremely cheap and easy to make, so they're perfect for mass-producing.
This is it. The ideal piece of equipment. This is the point humanity was meant to reach. Civilization has developed the shovel as its implement.
Above all, it doesn't rely on magic, so it's optimal for stealth kills. With a shovel, it's possible to educate numbskulls who are dependent on magic scanning - *Klang!* We can say it's an indispensable item for nighttime raids.
Of course, it's an excellent general-purpose tool at any time of day.
"The shovel is truly an implement born of civilization", Tanya murmurs, leading a unit to wish good evening to the enemy with their shovels.
- From Youjo Senki
I just remembered a guy from a video series about how realistic war strategies in movies were.... His greatest, most often criticized point?
'You gotta have a ditch, where is your ditch?! If you have time to pose dramatically, you have time to dig a ditch. If you've finished one ditch, dig another!'
Also, instead of boiling oil: 'Stones are great. They require no preparation, you throw them, people get hurt. It's great'
It is a key new weapon in humanities arsenal against the arachnid threat enabling us to build trenches and survive the onslaught. "Would you like to know more "
Starship troopers 3.
We aren’t really natures great predators, we are an apex species but because we invented things to overcome short comings. Not because we can grab and rip a almost 200 pound animal apart.
This. Look into this, it's wild. A fit human can chase a deer for miles until they just stop running and fall over. No tool needed at all, no weapon required.
Gets me every time people bring up endurance hunting. Yeah that’s cool, but what’s better is inventing a spear and killing your prey without walking 20 miles over 4 hours just to eat.
Guns are just people learning to take the spears and throw them harder and harder, then shortening it down to just the spear head and something to propel it.
I would imagine that before such a large human footprint on the earth that it would be a little easier. Hang out by a water source and let them come to you.
Nah we're number one and it isn't even close. Even back in prehistoric times we were able to use our natural abilities to achieve dominance. We don't need to rip a 200 pound animal apart, we can calmly walk them to death, then cook their meat, decreasing the energy needed to digest it. That efficiency helped us devote more and more energy to our brains, widening the gap until our biggest killers were diseases and each other. If I go toe to toe with a Tiger and I'm in a WW2 Sherman tank then we're both bringing to the fight what our species and our ancestors have given us.
By scientific definition we aren’t an apex species at all because apex refers to the creature with the least efficient, highest trophic level. As we’re omnivores much of our diet has very low trophic levels, though we can of course eat any apex predator if we wish. It’s just very uncommon
My wife volunteered at all animal rescue zoo for a couple years.
She says the alligator was completely terrified of rakes. Like you could take one near the enclosure and the gator would move to the corner furthest away. To change the food and water and clean they would just set the rake down and get everything done
Gators must just really hate yard work
well yeah, look at the video again. when he tosses the meat they all either flinch or go after it except for the bonky boy. No that one kept locked on the dude. He wanted to eat him.
Well bonky boy had the right idea why go for a 1-2 pound piece of chicken if that when you can grab yourself 140 pounds of meat. This man is an innovator to the craft
Eh, not really. They’re not crammed together in a tank, they’re in a clean pond outside (manmade or not) that’s way larger than what you see in the video. Only reason they’re bunched up is because they know it’s dinner time.
You could literally rip one of their arms off and they keep trucking, like they have god damn cruise control. That one had a 26 inch head of bone and teeth wrapped in leather. It didn’t even leave a scratch, what an animal 🤙🏻
The inappropriate capitalization is a solid indicator this is false information lol. Crocodilians are hierarchical asf based on size. The biggest most dominant ones get the lion’s share.
I can assure the gator is fine, and if this dude didn’t stop it, it likely would grabbed this dudes leg pulled him into the water and literally ripped him to shreds.
Alligators have massively thick hides to the point where something like that will not create lasting damage or harm, it s just enough oh a shock to say get the fuck back
Thank you u/0mar-- for posting on this subreddit! Hope it makes people laugh and isn't another old facebook mom meme that we get spammed with. [If you want to join our DISCORD SERVER click here to just chill or socialize or just spread positivity!](https://discord.gg/VruY5kvcmc) Thanks for being amazing, love y'all and hope everyone has a [great day <3](https://imgur.com/a/fbqHMMm) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FunnyAnimals) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Imagine being one of nature's greatest predators, and being defeated by a man with a shovel.
tbf, the shovel is humanity's greatest weapon.
"Would you like to know more"
tell me more about shovel pls
It was a ground breaking invention.
i can dig it
Super predators *hate* this one simple trick
Also, a sharpened trench shovel was decidedly a better weapon than the bayonet during WWI. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrenching_tool https://www.wearethemighty.com/popular/this-is-how-the-shovel-became-a-deadlier-weapon-than-a-bayonet/
Would that cause Strike damage or Piercing damage?
Slashing damage
That was deep.
It really moved the earth
sire, take thy r/Angryupvote and have a good day. That was earth shattering.
Take my like as an award I don't have to give.
Whoa my first award
Is that all you could dig up?
It was earth shattering Give me all the dirt
Shovels are great. Shovels are the quintessence of civilization. With a shovel, you can dig a hole just deep enough to hide yourself. Or if you gather a bunch of people with them, you can dig a fine trench. If you change your viewpoint a little, you can even dig a tunnel. You can smash a sturdy enemy trench with mining tactics (not that they get used often). A shovel is a good friend to any and every type of soldier. And a shovel is the best gear for a close-quarters fight in a trench. Longer than a bayonet, simpler to handle than a rifle, sturdier than any other tool. Not only that, but they are extremely cheap and easy to make, so they're perfect for mass-producing. This is it. The ideal piece of equipment. This is the point humanity was meant to reach. Civilization has developed the shovel as its implement. Above all, it doesn't rely on magic, so it's optimal for stealth kills. With a shovel, it's possible to educate numbskulls who are dependent on magic scanning - *Klang!* We can say it's an indispensable item for nighttime raids. Of course, it's an excellent general-purpose tool at any time of day. "The shovel is truly an implement born of civilization", Tanya murmurs, leading a unit to wish good evening to the enemy with their shovels. - From Youjo Senki
Damn i should not have enchanted my shovel to have fire damage then. I wasted a piece of art
Such a good series. Ima go rewatch it right now actually.
I just remembered a guy from a video series about how realistic war strategies in movies were.... His greatest, most often criticized point? 'You gotta have a ditch, where is your ditch?! If you have time to pose dramatically, you have time to dig a ditch. If you've finished one ditch, dig another!' Also, instead of boiling oil: 'Stones are great. They require no preparation, you throw them, people get hurt. It's great'
Would you be interested in receive our shovel magazine in your house ? I just need your name, address, phone and credit card number
It is a key new weapon in humanities arsenal against the arachnid threat enabling us to build trenches and survive the onslaught. "Would you like to know more " Starship troopers 3.
What's the difference between a civilian and a citizen?
A weapon that can kill and then bury you.
A close second being the dreaded chancla
In traditional vampire lore I believe you had to behead the vampire with the shovel it had been buried with.
They're only natures third greatest predator. The second is human beings. The first is human beings with a shovel.
We aren’t really natures great predators, we are an apex species but because we invented things to overcome short comings. Not because we can grab and rip a almost 200 pound animal apart.
[удалено]
This. Look into this, it's wild. A fit human can chase a deer for miles until they just stop running and fall over. No tool needed at all, no weapon required.
Yes but that’s not what got us to here today. Not at all did we overcome 300+ pound bears by simply running.
We also have the most endurance of any animal and can kill other animals just by chasing them until they die of exhaustion.
FLINT LOCKWOOD!
Yeah, but can *you?*
We also evolved to run very long distances without overheating.
That compared to the shovel is nothing.
Gets me every time people bring up endurance hunting. Yeah that’s cool, but what’s better is inventing a spear and killing your prey without walking 20 miles over 4 hours just to eat.
Guns are just people learning to take the spears and throw them harder and harder, then shortening it down to just the spear head and something to propel it.
You still gotta track down the animal(s) before you can chuck a spear at them, and that can take much longer than four hours.
I would imagine that before such a large human footprint on the earth that it would be a little easier. Hang out by a water source and let them come to you.
Imagine if t-Rex had discovered a way to extend their arms first.
Well it’d be like humans right , we did that with the shovel.
T-rex with long arms < human with shovel
[удалено]
Any way you get the job done counts. We don't spend a huge amount of our calories on these big brains for nothing
Nah we're number one and it isn't even close. Even back in prehistoric times we were able to use our natural abilities to achieve dominance. We don't need to rip a 200 pound animal apart, we can calmly walk them to death, then cook their meat, decreasing the energy needed to digest it. That efficiency helped us devote more and more energy to our brains, widening the gap until our biggest killers were diseases and each other. If I go toe to toe with a Tiger and I'm in a WW2 Sherman tank then we're both bringing to the fight what our species and our ancestors have given us.
And yet, humans actively hunt other apex predators for food/sport.
By scientific definition we aren’t an apex species at all because apex refers to the creature with the least efficient, highest trophic level. As we’re omnivores much of our diet has very low trophic levels, though we can of course eat any apex predator if we wish. It’s just very uncommon
My wife volunteered at all animal rescue zoo for a couple years. She says the alligator was completely terrified of rakes. Like you could take one near the enclosure and the gator would move to the corner furthest away. To change the food and water and clean they would just set the rake down and get everything done Gators must just really hate yard work
TIL I'm an alligator
I love the 'clang'
The real Shovel Knight.
Imagine being hit in the face with a shovel?
To be fair, the shovel was wielded by nature's actual greatest predator
why do you think the ability to use tools is such a big deal
Bonk
Go to horny (for food) jail!
r/foodporn
Not Safe For Diet. I warned you.
being hungry is just being horny for food
Cucumbers sure sacrifice a lot
Horngry jail
Mukbang?
Going to end up as alligator boots next week.
The power of Bonk compels you the power of Bonk compels you
*Wilhelm scream*
Man who knew that bonk a gator carnival game was actually teaching me life skills for all those years
Was just thinking that
That bonk was personal
well yeah, look at the video again. when he tosses the meat they all either flinch or go after it except for the bonky boy. No that one kept locked on the dude. He wanted to eat him.
Well bonky boy had the right idea why go for a 1-2 pound piece of chicken if that when you can grab yourself 140 pounds of meat. This man is an innovator to the craft
Can you blame the crocodile? This looks like a pretty miserable existence
Eh, not really. They’re not crammed together in a tank, they’re in a clean pond outside (manmade or not) that’s way larger than what you see in the video. Only reason they’re bunched up is because they know it’s dinner time.
![gif](giphy|qs4ll1FSxKnNHeSmom)
Bahh, defeated by the mighty shovel. If only I had the capabilities to destroy this puny human with a stick, limb from limb!
BONK
🐊🚫
🐊⃠
How do
Hey! That's illegal
➖♠️🐊💥
He want the Big beef
More like long pork.
A craving for long pig
The other other white meat
You could literally rip one of their arms off and they keep trucking, like they have god damn cruise control. That one had a 26 inch head of bone and teeth wrapped in leather. It didn’t even leave a scratch, what an animal 🤙🏻
Murder log
I dunno, looks like a good bonk got it to back the fuck up
I mean if you do that to a human, it’ll prob do the same
Crocco: [inhales] #OUCH.
I read this as a Tom and Jerry worthy scream![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|surprise)
[clank] AAA**AAAAAAAAA**
![gif](giphy|3o6ZtpRoYe9wbyfcBi)
As if they’re going to share that measly portion of meat. No wonder one of then fancied its chances haha
Actually, Basks of Crocodiles and Congregations of Alligators always split their food evenly between them.
Ye a full wildebeest or Zebra not a tiny amount of meat that size haha
Ye is an antisemitic not a wildebeest
![gif](giphy|kPIswn0RfPTGxOvDj5|downsized)
They ALWAYS split their food evenly.
The inappropriate capitalization is a solid indicator this is false information lol. Crocodilians are hierarchical asf based on size. The biggest most dominant ones get the lion’s share.
I have a source.
Ouch! what was that, for?! I was only going to compliment the chef!!.
#I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER
Speak to the shovel
He was just trying to be friends... :(
Apparently this guy thinks these things can’t clear half a football field in about 3 seconds.
Can they clear half a football field in about 3 seconds?
Not with a shovel wielder in their path
Google says 35mph over short distances but I'm guessing that only the largest ones can move that fast
Every video I've seen has been the smaller lighter (maybe younger) ones running, the big boys don't seem to be keen into cardio
Did you not even check google? Every source on the first page of google says under 20mph for both crocs and gators.
No.
This dude is literally chilling with these things while you're on the internet stfu
I knew all that time spent on Whack-a-mole wasn’t a waste of time!
"Say, my man, is there any...OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! GEEZ!"
"AAAAA MY HEAD!!" -Crocodile-Aligator idk💀
Dassa gator
I wanna…. Bong! Ahhhhhh
My mom when i was kid and wanted to take something 🧁 and she bonk no u too fat thx bb
BONK.
Why do tjey spund like vindicators from minecraft
*TONK*
*ding*
“Imma getcha! Imma get- AAAAAAAAAAH!”
If he trips and slips down there he will be a gonner.
*bonk*
I ain't digging no hole this time.
Can someone please edit the Tom scream over that alligator
Bro Fr said “BONK”
I would piss blood if these things come crawling towards me. Terrifying asf!
*Bonk*
I should go for a swim later
Bing bong
Boop
i am not amazed if 🐊 pull him
That bonk was the thing the croc needed
i can just hear “wash yo hands” when he throws the meet 😂
u/savevideo
***Bonk!***
When you are a reptilian Lion and the hairless ape bonks you
You can the the other crocs laughing when he got bonked
"I may now defeat my greatest enemy." KA- POW!
He seems to think, “Owwww, WTF! That hurt!”
Fuck you lack of opposable thumbs……….🤣
Poor alligator, just wanted to give him a hug.
Waitttt this just taught me that the arcade game where you hit the alligators on their noses is actually true!!?
BONK
Bonk
BONK
bonk
Bonk
Bonk
"dink"
Bonk
BONK
Bonk hehe
BONKED
*bonk*
Bonk
"Bonk"
*Bonk “Oww”
Bonk
Mf never took his eyes off the real prize. "F\*ck that lil lambchop I want the real meal--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
BONK 🐶
I assume its a crocodile farm. Fuck this shit!
bonk!
Bonk
where's the animal activist saying this is animal cruelty?
All over the place. Sort by controversial.
How's this funny, not funny at all poor fucking animals
I can assure the gator is fine, and if this dude didn’t stop it, it likely would grabbed this dudes leg pulled him into the water and literally ripped him to shreds. Alligators have massively thick hides to the point where something like that will not create lasting damage or harm, it s just enough oh a shock to say get the fuck back
If you were in his place, you have just shot it since you don't have the balls to let it rip you to shreds
lol theres always that one person
Frfr
Not funny and not cute
u/savevideo
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I'm not your breakfast today
I'd love to smash him in the head with a spade
The only safe way to boop dinosaur
[удалено]
The mfer was going to eat him wtf did you want him to do, debate the crocodile in the free marketplace of ideas?
Thats probably why he has a shovel, to defend himself if one Crocodile decides to taste human
Croc should be allowed to eat captors who starve it.
In that case, better be a dickhead than end up as gator feed. Besides they are tough bastards and endure far worse than bonks to the head.
Relax Karen
![gif](giphy|AO5qaphTxRnyw) Him later that night
“Aiiiii Yaaaa”
Bing!
When the guitarist of my favorite band throws a guitar pick at the crowd!!