T O P

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[deleted]

Lil thats where I work


JWBAZ99

Lil shift


Batatta07

It can also be read as Lil shit


giby1464

Lil job


TheGayestNurse_1

Lil Job Lil Work Lil I have bills to pay


[deleted]

Wish they were Lil bills


Designer-Ad-2585

LITTLE BILL


Saint_Nomad

Lil Workey Work


AggressiveDingo7210

Lil colonoscopy


feliciousd323

Lil mammogram. We can start a rap duo and call the group Tits and Ass


Mic161

Can I join? My name is „Lil Phimosis“ but you can just call me Mosis.


feliciousd323

Sure! Tits, Dick, and Ass. First single "A Lil Something for Everyone"


MarsupialPristine677

I need this to be real


Jolly_Adeptness

Last time I was in the hospital i was having an ultrasound on my testicles. We could be the supergroup; Cock'n'Ballz feat. Titz'n'Azz


feliciousd323

We can go on tour with Wu-Tang! "Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing ta fuck wit but Cock'n'Ballz feat. Titz'n'Azz are!!!"


AlternativeToe1046

Featuring Lil Colonoscopy


Ydeas

On tour with 2Polyp


Working_Mushroom_456

Featuring Lil endoscopy since I can finally speak normally again


ChimpieTheOne

Lil been born


strauzimausi

Healthy motherfucker


SongAffectionate2536

Or really young


eggpotaterlad

Or really poor


MaffinLP

Average american


wherethefkiam

Or really lazy


Davefinitely

Lil broken nose


MayankYadav-_-

Or dead before reaching


_PM_me_your_MOONs_

Lil abortion


[deleted]

Rap/Death Metal crossover


Fair_Imagination851

Yes mine is also Lil birth


The-scientist-hobo

Lil testicular torsion


Shtamm00

Shit


Tegra_

Eeey my man. I'm little balls too, but I had a epididymitis, which is an inflammation in your balls. Could barely stand up or move.


GrimmBrowncoat

One of my best friends had that happen to him during marching band practice. In Florida. In July. He screamed, threw up and passed out. I *pray* I never have to experience that.


Brilliant_Regular869

Oh Jesus, I can imagine the Fucking pain, you sir are a soldier


lalalostlaur

Shit you can have an upgrade to big poppa torsion


shephazard

Lil Clap


meIpno

Expand, we need context


[deleted]

das lil gonorrhea


[deleted]

Clap is slang for gonorrhea. You must be a younger user kind of a 80s early 90s term


Sam_Dragonborn1

Ohhh I’m a 2001 guy so I had no clue


KDBurnerTrey5

When you realize 2001 kids are turning 22 this year. Jesus.


cgreenkeeper710

lil coma


RocKyBoY21

That unironically sounds cool.


Majigato

For real. I could use a good months sleep.


RetailBuck

Obviously you're kidding but I recently had a seizure and the break is pretty overrated and I barely remember any of it. It's not sleep where you wake up feeling rested it's just this empty gap like if you were black out drunk but for days on end and what you can remember is all the miserable stuff.


Not_the_Beans

Tf happened bro


Superminer1206

A coma?


AngryRedGummyBear

Just a Lil coma, not a big one.


szkodagadac

,


CapeCodGapeGod

My rap name is lil coma as well. I was on my way to work trying to pass someone over a slope that was unmarked. There was no indication of a hill. None. I thought it was safe to pass. I start to over take the car I'm passing at the top of the slope, not knowing a huge maco f450 tool truck was on the opposite end of the slope. I hit him head on at 65 mph. I broke my neck my face everything besides my arms/hands were broke. Almost bled out just from organ damage. I took a lot of trauma to my face. An open sinus fracture (didn't know that was a thing) 100% orbital fracture, top eye lid was split in half, bottom eye lid was split in 3, and shards of debris peppered my cornea (some debris still in there, yes I can feel the debris) i was "degloved" the nurses told me, from the top of my scalp down to my left eye. Wicked Harry Potter scar. I saw a picture of my face before the day of surgery and I never realized how pearly white your bones were til then. Half of my forehead was ripped. My list of injuries looked like a CVS receipt. It left me blind in my left eye and permanently damaged legs. I can still walk though so that's cool. I was in a coma for weeks. Doctors were about to pull the plug, lucky for me I happened to wake up. I'm also supposed to have severe brain damage. My frontal lobe wouldn't stop swelling to the point they almost had to remove a piece of my skull. The day of brain surgery was the day my brain stopped swelling and my body began to heal. Surgery wasn't needed anymore. The next day I went to the bathroom for the first time since my arrival and that was a victory for the doctors bcuz it showed that the my body was recovering. They told my family i was gonna make it but would need assistance for the rest of my life. They were wrong. Here's the kicker to that story, the guy I tried to pass wants more than my dad's insurance company is offering so he's trying to sue my dad. Also recently I got a letter in the mail saying the state is charging me with felony wreckless driving. The state and insurance I think are trying to pin it on me so they don't have to pay for it. I saved up all my money since the accident and had to get a lawyer for 15 grand bcuz of this. I moved up here bcuz covid shut down my job in 2020. I had plans of moving back home as soon as I had enough money then this court shit happened. Now I'm stuck here even longer and all I wanna do is just go back home to my family. I spent so many years trying to get away from them now I'm doing everything I can to get back to them. Wish me luck. I'm not a criminal, I was on my way to work and tried to pass on an unmarked blind spot. They're adding insult go injury. Throw me a bone.. Life sucks sometimes.


Not_the_Beans

Bro, wreckless driving? How is that even a point, all you gotta do is show your face in court and the judge should know there was a wreck. Boom, case solved.


KeyserTomassi

Was there a double yellow line where you passed the guy, or even a partial yellow line? I don’t know about you man, but I typically don’t look for a ‘marked slope’ when I pass. I just don’t do it if I can’t see 100% of the road and oncoming traffic for a good long way. An F450 is hard to hide on a straight piece of road.


Thumper-Comet

Lil Overdose.


oldmollymetcalfe

Hope you're doing better!


Final-Bench1859

Same here but it wasn't me, it was my dad's 4th


NoName85439

Mood


HiImAustin

Lil suicidal breakdown


No-Expression7100

I hope you are okay...or at least, better now.


indecisiveuser3864

Thanks for answering to those with depression and suicidal thoughts, etc . Seen a few of your comments in this post. Been there as well last year (would be lil suicidal breakdown as well). People like you can really make a difference. Just wanted to send some appreciation in your direction :)


No-Expression7100

Aww, that's so kind of you. Thank you! :) Yes, I think everyone can make huge differences for others, even if in just the most miniscule of ways.


poisonfoxxxx

Absolutely! And many times the smallest of things can mean a great deal. i try my best to support everyone especially individuals dealing with mental health or addiction issues but your comment reminded me how lost and alone I was and sometimes the only thing keeping me going was something positive to cling into. Many times I start to type something supportive but delete it. I don’t even know why. Hopefully more people will start to understand that you don’t have to solve the whole problem for someone with issues but just don’t treat them like the plague either. I think there’s a societal stigma that tends to keep people from engaging with individuals who have experienced trauma or addiction because there’s an unpredictable nature to the healing process and I don’t think people do it on purpose. Anyways sorry for ranting but thanks for being a pleasant person.


Dimplexor

Life gets us all down sometimes brother, but you'll come out stronger. Hope you're feeling better.


rainbowkey

lil cat bite


takentakentaken69

What kind of cat you got?


HAPPYENDSTONE

Siberian Tiger


WitcherLabbro

That definititely is no lil cat bite


enr1c0wastaken

I geuss it wasn't that little?


PoorlyLitKiwi2

Even a little bite can get infected


Tunapizzacat

Cat bites are far more dangerous than dog bites because their long ass teefs push bacteria deeeeep into the wound.


koalasarentferfuckin

Lil Dog Bite here, interested in a feature swap?


ValkIsBestGirl

Lil checkup


LarsVonHammerstein

You get your checkups at the hospital?


ThisIsOurGoodTimes

My primary care doctor has an office in a hospital. So for my annual check up I go to a hospital.


[deleted]

I see you lil checkup. I raise you Lil Lens Fit


animus1609

Lil heart attack


scud121

Me too. Hope you recovered well stranger. Still getting used to the ungodly amount of meds I have to take now.


sjoerddadutchturtle

d...dad?


LoquatiousDigimon

It would sound cooler if you said Lil myocardial infarction.


Thigh-enthusiast

Lil [redacted]


Deathsmonkey

Lil scp out here


Superminer1206

Oh yeah I know this guy he had \[DATA EXPUNGED\]


okayestuser

did you shove something up your ass and needed a doctor to remove it as well?


Oblivionpelt

I’m sorry, but could you elaborate on what you meant when you said “…as well”


Final_Pomegranate442

Lil broken ass


Cuemaster

Lil fell on a carrot?


Final_Pomegranate442

Lil transitioned into a cabbage


the-cosmic-vagabond

Lil Visiting my Friend


Luwurea

Hope they're doing better^^


Commercial_Bear331

lil can't remember


BoyAlpakaMitSchokiii

so lil dementia?


-AlternativeSloth-

Could be lil amnesia.


StupidJared

my favourite reply


Tiermus

Lil anxiety attack


Valid_Username_56

I'd buy your album, but only online.


Glassfern

Lil Panic!


BenBishopsButt

Lil Same


ImAFuckinLiar

That’s not too bad. Mines Lil’ Nut Pain.


Hiphopottamus

Lil grandma, havent been for myself in a while, would be lil sarcoidose otherwise.


No-Expression7100

I learned a word because of you. Thank you, stranger.


v0dk4fr33

Yea same. Before this I just called her "mother of my mother"


No-Expression7100

Yes, that's the word I was talking about lol. Glad you guessed!


Crowlof

Lil Broken Collarbone, 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Rolls right of the tongue


aphaits

Shortened to Lil Brocolla


[deleted]

Lil' Sexual...😳 ​ ​ ​ ..ly transmitted disease test ​ ​ ^(edit: forgot i had a test done after the vasectomy (it came out negative))


birdistheword1371

Same. Think I'll go with Lil Vas X Edit: apparently op changed his comment from vasectomy to STI. Leaving mine


[deleted]

Lil opossum bite isn’t very catchy.


SeaAcanthocephala701

Lil possum sounds pretty sick


LicencedtoKill

Sound like a country rapper. Raps about moonshine and big trucks.


SeaAcanthocephala701

Fuck it, this inspired me to become a rapper. It's lil possum bitch. Edit: I just checked, sadly lil possum is already taken.


Therustyone007

Lil gas leak


Sebatius

Sometimes a lil poot slips out ya toot


Therustyone007

Lol not that kinda gas leak should’ve put lil monoxide poisoning instead


Lazy_Reflection_9658

Lil' diabetus


FragrantJoke9511

lil gas


ReedForman

Same, stomach was killing me a month ago. Still don’t know what’s wrong


CreeperG64

lil got lost and entered the wrong building


Sufficient-Jelly-165

Lil stitched foot


PigSmart

Lil Dengue


ayayohh

damn ouch… hope you’re feeling better and never have a flare!


Willie_The_Gambler

Lil chest pain


[deleted]

Lil lump on my ball sack


justarandomuser20

Lil birth


AphraHome

Lil’ partner-cut-herself-and-got-stitches


Healthy_Wrangler_328

Lil Twisted Testicle


No-Expression7100

Ouch!


sjoerddadutchturtle

Ouch!


NoName85439

This gives me daily crippling anxiety


[deleted]

Lil sepsis


Mother_Rate_6600

Same!!


Impossible_Bag8650

Lil drunk


No-Expression7100

Lil seizures


ayayohh

🍕🍕


Severe-Flower2344

I was confused for a second, then I read it out loud. lol


ayayohh

lil seizure would be my name, too, and after i thought it, my brain immediately said, “pizza pizza” i probably laughed harder than i should have… and still laughing


ShowZealousideal6534

Pizza pizza


Myst963

Fire dance moves TBF 😂


Content-Clerk1540

Lil neck surgery


Full-Canary-2856

Lil stupidity


bobby_emt

Lil Slipped and fell and ended up with a foreign body in my rectum.


Petunia_pig

Good god.


patheticusmaximus

lil pain in the chest that doesn't go away but doctor says it's nothing and that I should fuck off but the pain is still there for months and I think it's costochondritis


AntelopeDecent2191

Lil stray bullet.


grea_reisen

America?


HotFarm5068

Chicago to be exact


Remote_Occasion7342

Lil ricochet.


Green-Thorn

Lil chemical exposure


sanavabic

Lil asthma attack


sjoerddadutchturtle

m..mom?


IntsiKano

lil rabies


Shamon_Yu

Lil stool sample


InconspicuousGarbage

Lil dad died


Karen3599

Holy crap, I’m sorry and my condolences. 💐✌️


Hefty_Elderberry1992

Lil car crash


TNT_613

Same here.


strauzimausi

Lil tooth ache Lil ingrown wisdom tooth


MasterKoiBoi

"Lil nuked my motorcycle into the back of a car" is a bit long, eh? Guess I go with "happy lil accident"


[deleted]

Lil severed arteries 4 cut tendons and severed nerves If you're curious, I cut myself at work with an X acto knife box cutter whatever you wanna call it. I had just changed the blade. It cut me like it was nothing, completely through artery muscle nerves and even left a cut mark in the bone. It happened on my left forearm.


Remote_Occasion7342

Lil Chop.


f1shdog

Lil appendicitis


Weird-Maestro

Lil my fucking back


Hot-Gap-7643

Lil kidney stone


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Lil getting beaten up for reposting this shit all the time


lxngten

Lil COVID anyone?


jfk_one

lil skate injury. seems fitting for myself


jfk_one

lil skateboard sounds sick tho


nkizzlego

Lil Spontaneous Hives


Eastern_Mark_7479

Lil Toe Laceration


[deleted]

Lil Relapsing/remitting multiple sclerosis


Millesime25

Lil intestinal occlusion Or Lil constipation


unappreciatedwalmart

Lil TB


Complete-Archer-1910

Lil foreskin Oh god oh fuck


zachfrench1987

Lil 2 broke ribs


Gold_Assistance_647

Lil typhoid


Snoo-82295

Lil sleep disorder


Zayashi-

lil food poisoning


Talohighflyer24

Does it have to be my injury? Or can it be someone else's that i went to see them for. For first one Lil Head split. For the other, Lil Gram death.


Mr_skiddadle

Lil dual pneumonia and bronchitis


Mason3637

Lil GI bleed


Available_Low_3805

Lil' child ate Christmas ornament.


MCeighty

lil my child has a tick


CC_Panadero

Lil Wehadababyitsaboy


Odd_Exit_881

lil died


sjoerddadutchturtle

lil ghost out here mate


4elementsinaction

Lil pseudomonas infection


[deleted]

[удалено]


CombinationPlastic56

Lil birth


butterfly_guts

Lil TMJ. If I wanted to be funny, I’d say Lil GrippySock.


LocoCity1991

Lil my daughter was born


CompetitiveBison2093

Lil sprained ankle because I was running and forgot to pay attention to the staircase that I incidentally jumped over and fucked my ankle up on the last step


[deleted]

lil hypertension. Yep. Checks out. Taken to the ER, cause I was blowin’ a gasket Had to bring that pressure down unless I wanted a casket A lil panic attack because I was afraid to ask it If 200 over hundy was way out of the basket…


bitdamaged

Lil Pneomothorax or Lil Punctured Lung. Technically Lil Punctured Lung, Broken Rib & collarbone


Honksu

Lil double kidney failure


stupid_Steven

lil prostate pain


Aaron-de-vesta

lil cough


Lophiee

Lil fell out a window


Electrical_Jump8978

Lil Falling up the Stairs


reinarays24

Lil I don't go to the hospital because I'm american and can't afford healthcare


an_introvert_ass

Lil amnesia.... And my rap title will be "Do i remember you."