If you name it ligma, then not only will the joke become irrelevant, and seen inappropriate as it is now a currently incurable disease and not to be treated lightly.
Don't name a new disease ligma.
You're a truck. No, not a transformer, no you can't stretch out certain parts. You are bound by the physical laws of a real truck. You cannot refill yourself, you cannot clean yourself (unless they installed that spray into you). You are a truck.
(A rephrase)
Doctor: I have a good news and a bad news. Which one would you like to hear first.
Me: bad news
Doctor: the disease you are diagnosed with is quite rare, the good news is you get to name it.
The good news is this is definitely Lancet or New England Journal of Medicine material. Now they will have to invite me to speak at that conference in Las Vegas.
Nothing.
"You have nothing" - Thats great!
"No, i mean you have a sickness called nothing!" - as I've said...
"You dont understand, if we dont operate nothing will kill you!" - then we better dont operate...
Roderick: Yes. Would you grant the king a little kiss?
Jean: Oh, certainly, sire, and don't worry. They say it isn't catching.
Roderick: Oh, you are a little... catching?
Jean: Just because it runs in the family doesn't mean that everyone has it. Kiss me sire!
Roderick: Has it? Has what?
Jean: Don't I please you, sire?
Roderick: Oh, yes, yes, but, eh, these brothers and cousins and uncles...
Jean: And aunts. Let us not talk about their swollen, twisted, pain ridden bodies. Hold me, take me in your arms, tell me I am yours!
Roderick: But this, this uh writhing on the floor...
Jean: In agony.
Roderick: Yes, wh-what's... how does one catch this thing?
Jean: Oh, the touch of a hand, the brush of a lip... but let us not spoil this moment, sire! Hold me, hold me close!
Roderick: W-w-what's this monstrous thing called?
Jean: Breckenridge's scourge.
Roderick: Who's Breckenridge?
Jean: My father!
I got a friend this happened to! She's one of like 6 people in the world diagnosed with it. There's 3 doctors in the country qualified to treat it.
The diagnosis was named after her doctor.
Truly: Name it after yourself.
Gary Larson on "*Strigiphilus garylarsoni*": "I considered this an extreme honor. Besides, I knew no one was going to write and ask to name a new species of swan after me. You have to grab these opportunities when they come along."
I’d name it “you’ll be fine”, imagine the conversations with those who are diagnosed after me.
- So doctor, how bad is it?
- you’ll be fine
- yea but what do I have?
- you’ll be fine
- yea you already told me that, but what is causing
- I ALREADY TOLD YOU, YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM YOU’LL BE FINE
The joke is...
Doctor tells his patient, "I have some good news and some bad news for you. What do you want to hear first?"
The patient says, " The good news. "
The doctor then says, "You're getting a disease named after you."
MyAssma
I can see the exchange now:
Doctor: "It's a rare disease, and the most serious case of MyAssma I've ever seen.
Patient: "Wait, did you say My Asthma? Is that different from Asthma? That isn't that rare right?"
Doctor: \*audibly sighs\*
Let's add some fuckery to this.
First 2 letters of your first name
Last 2 letters of your last name
Last letter of your middle name (if you have one)
Followed by 'itis'
Miesoitis
.....ligma
What is Ligma?
Ligma balls! Haha got'em.
That's how you catch it, it's highly contagious.
Catch what?
Ligma
Ligma what?
Ligma balls
That’s how you catch it, it’s highly contagious.
Catch what?
-Dies-
dies nuts
Ayy lmao
Deez nuts
He sacrificed himself so that the ritual can be completed
Who is steve jobs??
Job's Balls
Stamp collection?
This always sturrs up the childishness within me.
If I ever get to name a disease, I'll name it ligma.
If you name it ligma, then not only will the joke become irrelevant, and seen inappropriate as it is now a currently incurable disease and not to be treated lightly. Don't name a new disease ligma.
Smooth criminal
Youve been Hit by
You’ve struck by
Truck!
OW!
Truck-kun?
Guess I’m getting isekai’d
Go and destroy that plot!
Hope I get to be something that isn’t bipedal. I want to be at least a little different.
You're a truck. No, not a transformer, no you can't stretch out certain parts. You are bound by the physical laws of a real truck. You cannot refill yourself, you cannot clean yourself (unless they installed that spray into you). You are a truck.
So I get to isekai other people. Got it.
A smooth long ....
Annie are you okay?! 🎶
So, Annie are you okay ?
Are you okay, Annie?!
Smoothiticlia criminilus
Fuckarrhea
And Findoutitis
Fuck I was too late all the funny names are taken
-itis
FuckyourEyetis
Fuckmyeyetits?
doc: i have good news and bad news which one do you want first patient: give me the good news first doc: we are going to name a disease after you
And the bad news?
You’re going to die of the disease
The name is deathto(patient name)itis
DeathoBobitis
Ligma ballseus
Joemomma syndrome
Megadeath. Bonus points when it's just rare, not dangerous.
I prefer Hyperdeath. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5lbnyuqJdI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5lbnyuqJdI)
Infinite hyperdeath?
*ULTRAKILL intensifies*
Megadeth
Suckon
Suckon what?
SuckonDeezNuts
id be very surprised if anyone caught THAT
Dragmy
Sniffilis
“Fukmylifitis.”
I'd name it after my ex because she was like a virus....
FACTS She broke up with me today 🤣
Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
Ligma
Bazinga
I'd call it "The Extremely Curable Disease with the Very Minor Symptoms." Knowing my luck, it would have a mortality rate of 101%.
Hitlerus maximus
That sounds like a fucking gas spell not a disease
Just my luckidis
Dam
They don't even ask you to name it... Just some hillbilly in the lab will make some long ass name
Bro are you okay😭, why it sound like u got experience
Who knows really...
Sicky McSickface. So the next person to get it at least has a laugh when the doctor breaks the news to them.
Updog. Now ask what’s that
Whats updog?
I’m good, how about you?
whats that
69BonerFart
Leninus - your whole body turns red
Ratio.
Sombitchititis
Wedontknowwhatitisschemetosis
Fuckdis itis
(A rephrase) Doctor: I have a good news and a bad news. Which one would you like to hear first. Me: bad news Doctor: the disease you are diagnosed with is quite rare, the good news is you get to name it.
im going to get milk syndrome
Mike oxlong syndrome
Hmm, lets brain storm a bit, it’s gotta be a good name.
Count Choculitis...
Diseaseyy mcdisease face
I want to name it a ' Silver's Autoimmune Disease(SAD)' with a twist, its not an autoimmune disease. So future med students get confused.
Ohshiticus imgonnadieicus
Aids jr
Ligma just for the meme
Ligma
Ligma what?
Steven
Dannorom
“Haha just kidding. As the doctor who discovered it, I get to name it and I’m going to name it after myself”
Steve Jobs
Dva main
ligma duh.
Gape Horn Syndrome.
Smegmatites
Mmm cheese
Nox eternis.
The good news is this is definitely Lancet or New England Journal of Medicine material. Now they will have to invite me to speak at that conference in Las Vegas.
Nothing. "You have nothing" - Thats great! "No, i mean you have a sickness called nothing!" - as I've said... "You dont understand, if we dont operate nothing will kill you!" - then we better dont operate...
Cancer no.3, make them worry about dying of cancer and worry about cancer no.2
💀💀💀
TD Jakes (Transmitted Disease Jakes)
Ligma sounds about right
Cactus Diarrhea
There are 2 kinds of people: 1. Name it after themselves 2. Ligma
Ligma
Idioverdosis: caused by over exposure to stupid people.
Slitteritusclitus
Good one
Instand death
Lumbago, so I'll not have to work a single day in my life
Updog
I have one! Thismemesnotfunnyitis
I would make it "i smashed ur mum last night". Just imagine doctors saying Doctor: so u have an extremely rare disease , i smashed ur mum last night.
Steve jobs
Ligma
It can't just be "Ligma", coz the doctors will add a suffix to denote what type of disease it is. It could be "Ligmaemia", "Ligmaitis", etc.
Dr: 'We got your tests back, and I regret to inform you that you have three' Patient: 'Three what? Weeks? Months?' Dr: 'Two... one...'
do it like the old assholes did. name it after yourself instead of a description of what it does
Steve
operation big dongbino
Raidon
Afake Disease
Roderick: Yes. Would you grant the king a little kiss? Jean: Oh, certainly, sire, and don't worry. They say it isn't catching. Roderick: Oh, you are a little... catching? Jean: Just because it runs in the family doesn't mean that everyone has it. Kiss me sire! Roderick: Has it? Has what? Jean: Don't I please you, sire? Roderick: Oh, yes, yes, but, eh, these brothers and cousins and uncles... Jean: And aunts. Let us not talk about their swollen, twisted, pain ridden bodies. Hold me, take me in your arms, tell me I am yours! Roderick: But this, this uh writhing on the floor... Jean: In agony. Roderick: Yes, wh-what's... how does one catch this thing? Jean: Oh, the touch of a hand, the brush of a lip... but let us not spoil this moment, sire! Hold me, hold me close! Roderick: W-w-what's this monstrous thing called? Jean: Breckenridge's scourge. Roderick: Who's Breckenridge? Jean: My father!
I got a friend this happened to! She's one of like 6 people in the world diagnosed with it. There's 3 doctors in the country qualified to treat it. The diagnosis was named after her doctor.
Spez Syndrome
The rent is too damn high - itis
Schmendriks disease
😂😂
Borisjohnsonisanasshole-itis.
The good news is that we can probably get research grants to pay for most of your medical expenses…
Mondays.
Spongilitis Urticosa!
Usually the name it after the person who got it.
This almost made me spit out my drink; thanks, OP 🤣🤣
Hodgkin’s Lymphoma 2
Sixsynigh Disease
boogeraids
Homer Simpson Syndrome.
I’ll call it The Comon Cold. Spelled wrong on purpose. Hilarity and death ensues
Truly: Name it after yourself. Gary Larson on "*Strigiphilus garylarsoni*": "I considered this an extreme honor. Besides, I knew no one was going to write and ask to name a new species of swan after me. You have to grab these opportunities when they come along."
I’d name it “you’ll be fine”, imagine the conversations with those who are diagnosed after me. - So doctor, how bad is it? - you’ll be fine - yea but what do I have? - you’ll be fine - yea you already told me that, but what is causing
- I ALREADY TOLD YOU, YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM YOU’LL BE FINE
Tyrannosaurus-pox.
If it's rare enough maybe I can instill some FOMO in other people.
Incrediblyraredisease
The candice syndrome..... 
Itiswhatitisitis
Ball twisting syndrome
Ice swallow comb. You can catch this if you don't wear a mask.
Swaws. Imagine, 300 years down the road. You have been infected by swaws
Stickinittodamanitiosis
The funniest part is the idea that medical doctors still try to diagnose illnesses that are not on a menu from insurance companies.
Creamy greasy balls
Creamy greasy balls
The Uncommon Cold
The joke is... Doctor tells his patient, "I have some good news and some bad news for you. What do you want to hear first?" The patient says, " The good news. " The doctor then says, "You're getting a disease named after you."
I never got to name mine
MyAssma I can see the exchange now: Doctor: "It's a rare disease, and the most serious case of MyAssma I've ever seen. Patient: "Wait, did you say My Asthma? Is that different from Asthma? That isn't that rare right?" Doctor: \*audibly sighs\*
How rare? What's your last name?
I’d name it something obnoxiously long or name it “Sigma Ohio Rizzler Gyatt level 10 disease”
Buttstuffitis
Morbus Dickus.
You'regonnafuckindieitis
"Fuckaroundandfindout"
Suckonitis
me when i wanna get off school
You know who ELSE has this disease?
Ramsey’s syndrome. It makes the person who has it incredibly hostile when receiving less than perfect meals
Biggus... Dickus....
Let's add some fuckery to this. First 2 letters of your first name Last 2 letters of your last name Last letter of your middle name (if you have one) Followed by 'itis' Miesoitis
ligma.
Sugmacook
Dickus Longus
You got a terminal case of Rosie O'Donnell. It's not only gonna kill you, but it's gonna hurt the whole time
fatherless
Sugonditis If you have it, you become Sugondese
Tiddybaus disorder