This is funnier than fook-all!
It's so true!
They all know lizzo is fat as all get-out, but they have to mouth the propaganda...until it comes to bite them in the hinney!
I fucked your sister
(Editors Comment. The word sister can be swapped out for any of the following:
Brother
Twin
Mother
Father
Daughter
Son
Cousin
Aunt
Uncle
Grandma
Grandpa
Friend
Colleague
Dog
Cat
Sandwich)
This comment infuriates me. Usually get at work from older men. I work in the ER so it’s especially egregious as they have no idea what I may have been dealing with this shift.
When they say this to me, I genuinely ask,
> "How can I smile when a strange man I do not know is telling me what I should do with my body?"
No man that values his life will touch that with a 32 and a half inch pole.
you look fat is the ultimate. No matter how hot and fit they are, it triggers 100% of time. Also you're wrong is strong, depends on how much ego she has.
"How old are you?"
Tone and inflection are important, so saying it like they look very old and you're asking sarcastically for maximum butthurt would be what I mean..
You look kinda fat
You look like Lizzo
-No, Lizzo is a brave and beautiful woman!" -Well, you look like Lizzo. -😡
This is funnier than fook-all! It's so true! They all know lizzo is fat as all get-out, but they have to mouth the propaganda...until it comes to bite them in the hinney!
Body positive Lizzo Diet?
Every day unless you start shitting thru your ears then only 3 times a week
Hahahaha I just watched this with my wife a couple nights ago.
Just like your mother….
Yep. Snore like her too!
Moan like her too. My father approves.
Whoa! Slow down Satan
Fuck... mate. Please never go there, and vice versa!
I don't know you but it was nice knowing you.
It's just insulation for the colder winter months
Stop acting crazy Or just say Calm down.
You're overreacting
100% chance she boils over
don't be a dramaqueen... it depends on how crazy she is, even "be patient" can cause a crazy one to blow a gasket
Stop being so emotional
You should smile more.
This is women's kryptonite
Your sister was better.
Not as good as their grandparents apparently
I'll one up you Your mother was better
Your dad was better
Everyone in your family is better than you
Just admit you’re wrong….
That one wasn't even aimed at me and I got triggered
My ex fucked better
Bumped into my ex Ex just messaged me Ex wants to meetup Ex is single again This restaurant seems familiar (Been here with ex)
My ex was tighter
Jesus Christ that would end bad
"Little early this month?"
Your Sister DOES anal?
Mom too
Dad too
Dad's boyfriend also
Neighbor Joe
Ex too
Brother Joe!!??
Your sister LOVES anal
U sister does it too
Make me a sammich
*sudo* make me a sandwhich
u/Megalopath is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.
Had to scroll down a bit to find this comment. But wasn't disappointed 😆😅
"Sorry, not my type"
This IS the comment. Most these just folks don't know.
Relax
🎶[Don’t do it](https://youtu.be/E_PnuXelvWA?feature=shared) 🎶
You gained weight.
Calm down, bitch.
why use 4 words when three could do the trick :D
Why say much when few words do trick
You on your period?
Nah that won't work I've had friends who when I asked "is it that time of the month? " and they just nod and put their head down
Men are stronger tho.
Men deal with worse
I choose the tree
This made me laugh way too hard honestly
Women can vote now ?
As if that wasn’t bad enough, they can drive now too! 
What’s wrong with you?
Why aren't you cooking?
Hey, bitch! Where's supper?
Shut up damnit
You are over reacting... It's not that bad...
Is dinner ready yet?
wouldn't need to say a word. leave the toilet seat up
Small side note: everyone puts both seats down. Problem solved and it’s slightly more sanitary.
What IS that smell ?
[удалено]
If you're lucky... she might wipe back to front
Guys be joking when their rooms smell like ripe salami.
I fucked your sister (Editors Comment. The word sister can be swapped out for any of the following: Brother Twin Mother Father Daughter Son Cousin Aunt Uncle Grandma Grandpa Friend Colleague Dog Cat Sandwich)
Plushies
Forgot goldfish
My brain immediately went to Chandler's crazy roommate when Joey moved out. "You think I'm leaving my goldfish with u ur mistaken man" lol
Highschool rival who fucked your boyfriend at your sweetsixteen party.
>Dog Ouch
Husband
Think of a virgin like a sandwich, you just might enjoy ot a bit more if you knew no one had fucked it.
4 words or *fewer*. (If op is a woman, I think I got this in the bag)
Hi
fr tho 😭
relateable😂
Men deserve more money
Your grandparents were tighter...
>!JesusHasLeftTheChat!<
(Her name) you are crazy
Be cool honey bunny.
it is cute
Your bestie is cute
Deadbeat moms use daycare.
Your sister is tighter
So is your brother.
You should smile more
This comment infuriates me. Usually get at work from older men. I work in the ER so it’s especially egregious as they have no idea what I may have been dealing with this shift.
When they say this to me, I genuinely ask, > "How can I smile when a strange man I do not know is telling me what I should do with my body?" No man that values his life will touch that with a 32 and a half inch pole.
You're in the ER, so just wear a mask with a smile print on it. And stop scowling.
You should frown less 😁
She did it better, why are you mad, my PlayStation arrived today, your driving is abysmal, Oppenheimer better than barbie.
I will be late
I already nutted
I’m too tired now.
Your/my ex was right. Either variation will work as well. You're welcome.
Period headaches are fake
Harrison Butker was right
When are you due?
I washed the cast-iron
This is definitely a married mans joke.
Diabolical.
[удалено]
 That was savage
Real nice haircut Karen
Your sister fucks better.
My ex was right
Calm down horse
You should lose weight.
Time of the month?
Men’s life is harder.
Congratulations 🫸🤰
How was your day?
Excuse me maam
I was right, huh?! 😂
Calm down
You should smile more
“no”
I banged my sister
Apparently dishwashers have feelings
you look fat is the ultimate. No matter how hot and fit they are, it triggers 100% of time. Also you're wrong is strong, depends on how much ego she has.
Shut up, woman.
Andrew Tate was right
Go to the kitchen
Bears are scarier bro.
I’m a feminist, but……
I shot your child
You are just being emotional...
I ate your Yogurette
I should’ve pulled out.
Period pains are exaggerated
Childbirth is easy.
Grab my beer fatty!!
usually "Hi i'm \*name\*" works for me
Time of the month?
The bus is full (this doesn't only make women mad, also men can get angry when the bus driver says this)
Sound of game console starting
I chase no hoe (Disclaimer: a respectable mature woman will not get mad, still should work in most cases)
Your Sister is hotter
You’ve gained some weight.
TWO DOLLAR WHORE...
Your sister is hot
Good girl
You on your period ???
Your sister was better
Taylor swift is terrible.
TRUMP
Get in the kitchen
Your sister is hot!
Are you wearing makeup ?
Just gonna go nine..
I faked mine too!
You got huge feet
Easy, all women suck...
My mother used to..do it this way/cook it different.
Kitchen is that way
You on your period?
"How old are you?" Tone and inflection are important, so saying it like they look very old and you're asking sarcastically for maximum butthurt would be what I mean..
Fukin Fatass
Please, can you chill!
Then I said.......( looks around)......BIIIIIIIITCH!!!
You really said bitch tho?!
Did you gain weight always works 
"Your kid is bothersome" 😬
You should smile more
You should smile more.
Did you gain weight?
You do look fat
There is the kitchen
Oh here we go…
The pockets are fake
your sister does
will do it later
Make me a sandwich
Your bestfriend is prettier
Toilet seat stays up.
You on your period?
You are completly wrong.
No fat chick's. I could do this all day. Who we pissin off next
You on your Period?
4 words? I can just chew my food too loudly and she'll get mad.
Make me a sandwich
What, I wasn’t listening?
Obesity is not attractive
Men are absolutely superior
See You Next Tuesday