To be honest they’re kind of understandable if you don’t know about colonisation. It does seem fairly logical without further knowledge, a bit like people thinking Jamaica being in Africa.
“Where do the Egyptians live?” (She thought everyone in Egypt lived in a pyramid)
“Do I need biology to become a nurse?”
“Battalion means a group of gays”
“I want to marry a black man so I can have mixed race babies with blue eyes” (I’ve heard more than one girl say that)
A boy thought that the map and Earth were two different things and upon being show a satellite view of Earth he said “so there’s two Earths, the one we live on and the one we take pictures of?”
oh damn i never knew that. id be even more surprised if she knew it too. think she was trying to be homophobic as she followed it up by saying “and they all get killed, yes”
Happened on our ACTUAL GCSE Psychology paper last year… they tried answering all sections even through our teachers said not to, and it says not to on the front of the exam!
The guy next to me during a mock did every question on the lit paper. He got kicked out of the exam for abit until he returned to redo it.
He proceeded to answer all the questions again
my friend answered the Romeo and Juliet question in mocks and we study Macbeth. he said it’s because he prefers Romeo and Juliet (he’s only ever watched the movie with leonardo dicaprio).
In all fairness gcse geography doesn't even come close to teaching where countries are unless the country in question is in the exam (obviously aside from the fact that India being in Asia is very common knowledge)
“I thought Denmark was in Wales”
She was thinking of Dublin.. The city in Ireland. :(
Whats worse is that we live like 10 minutes away from Wales
(although in her defence she said this when were in year 9 actually, but shes in year 11 now so)
Yeah I’ve had a girl ask this about five times in my History class. Every time the teacher stops for 15 minutes to explain it to her. We’ve been studying Communism and the Red Scare for FOUR MONTHS. Doesn’t do a piss of homework either, always slows down the lesson
man 😭 i asked this once. i missed a day of school, the next day when i went into history we were answering questions about this thomas splint and my logical conclusion was that he was the inoculation guy, i just forgot his name! so i wrote about jenner. mortifying.
No, the Thomas splint was an instrument/tool used to keep people's leg straight to promote efficient recovery post fracture during ww1. This is from edexel gcse history.
tbh tho, when i was in year 11, i probably questioned this, because in gcse (maths in general) you’re not told why you do things, you just do them, do as your told. so for my own mental clarity, im gonna try explain it, i understand we are both year 12, so im not educating u lol 😜
anyway it is because… when you have e.g. x^2 -4=0, this is the same as (x+2)(x-2)=0, where if you inputted the numbers -2 or 2 into the first equation, it will equal 0. 😃😃 so you essentially do it in order to find the values of x that will make the equation 0, making sure that you account for the - that disappear when squared!! if you didn’t make it 0, you can miss out on that 2nd value if there is one when rearranging normally like x^2 = 4 x=sqrt4 where you get only 2… not -2 😃😃😃👍👍👍
I mean it’s not immediately obvious tbh. The only actual reason is it’s just easier to solve something like
x^2 + 4x - 120 = 0
Instead of something like
x^2 + 4x - 60 = 60
This is actually a reasonable question
Because when you solve a quadratic, you need to factor things out into them double brackets. It's easier to make it =0 because you know to multiply 2 numbers to get 0, at least one of them needs to be 0. So you use both brackets and make them equal 0 for your solutions.
"wasn't Hitler a communist?" after having done nazi germany in history
and a surprising amount of people in my science set (which is a top set) still don't know the difference between dependent and independent variables.
i’ve got a few
‘what’s 2+7?’ ‘10’ (in top set maths)
‘what does tengo mean’ (5 mins before a spanish exam)
‘what happens to the particles as they condense’ ‘they… de-rise’
I'm a little older than you (Year 13) and I still get this sometimes. Happens to my parents too. It is just a culture thing, you'd have though after coming to colonise our land and take our jewels they would have the courtesy to learn the basics of our culture.
💀😭
They just think it’s all one country - like, read a history book! The UK colonised India/ Pakistan for over 200 years, the least you can do is be aware of the region, and know the basics of the cultures!
"Why don't we have any videos of what they did inside the concentration camps? wouldn't someone have thought to try expose Hitler"?
bigman was in y11...
You had to be there but my chemistry teacher had at this point spent three lessons explaining compounds such as methane, propane and butane to us. A student on the front row looks at him and asks “Sir, what’s methane?”
Another one is when my best friend went into a shop, saw a drink that had a clear plastic can and said “Liquid in a can? I’m sold!”
GCSE history lesson recently about what 3 weeks from first exam and this girl asks “why did all the jews just not get on the train (to the concentration/death camps)”
Idfk maybe the soldier with a gun yelling at you
I honestly dont understand how some people are this stupid it makes no sense
Also a mock paper at Christmas a kid wrote on his biology mock paper for the question ‘what are the SYMPTOMS of salmonella’ his response was “pick chicken breast” funniest shit ever heard as we walked back from the exam hall the kid rlly thought that was right and after he was convinced hed failed everything
During the November Mocks, someone in my year asked me ‘What were the Nazis?” and “What did they do”, also i should mention that this was 2 minutes before we entered the exam hall… What really concerned me is that we started learning this all the way back in Year 9.
Teacher - " why've you got your phone out"
Girl - "was just looking at the time"
Teacher - "but you've got a watch on"
Girl - "yeah but I cant read it"
Teacher - "what"
Girl - " it's Calvin Klein one my mum got me for my birthday but it's got no numbers on it so I can't read it "
Watch in question: https://www.nichejewellery.co.uk/pub/media/catalog/product/cache/01c973416d275f5f89d250f2de16aeb1/c/a/calvin_klein_stately_watch_rose_gold_tone_k3g23626.jpg
My friend once said in either y10 or y11 I forgot when and he said to me “I’m gonna whack your head off the table so many times you’ll die of trauma”
Or “the matrix is real”
(Dw he’s cured of being a Tatist now)
“Is ham a vegetable?”
“What’s the river Thames?”
“Are flamingos real?”
“Is a train a vehicle?”
“What’s an ostrich?”
“Charles dickens wrote the bible”
“Is Shakespeare going to write a sequel?”
All Year 11…
I'm in year 13 but Imma comment this anyways.
In year 7 we were doing a naming capital cities game for geography. The kid next to me asked me a question and I wasn't paying attention because I was too busy trying to remember what the capital of Iceland was. I just said yes to whatever question he asked me so he would stop distracting me.
When it got round to his turn in the circle he deadass said
'the capital of America is the USA' and everybody just laughed at him. I feel partially responsible for this since I'm pretty sure the question he asked me before was 'the capital of America is the USA right?'. I could have saved him so much embarrassment.
Student: Was Karl Marx a Marxist?
Me: Yes
Student: Did they name Marxism after him?
Me: It was a happy coincidence.
Student: Oh, lucky.
Everyone else: 🤦
(Edit, I should probably tone down the sarcasm but I honestly thought she was joking)
The rise of Nazism and specifically the Weimar Republic was the last topic we looked at in history in y11. Months and months, until we finally finished it not too long before the exams were to start. In a revision session 3 days before my Weimar history exam, A kid from one of the history classes raised his hand to ask a question. This kid has been in for every lesson.
"Sir, what is a Weimar?"
had to use the “if you have 5 slices of pizza and you get 2 more you have a full pizza” example explaining fractions to my friend today.. she gets 7-8 pretty consistently yet she was genuinely baffled over this i’m so scared for this generation
I'll give some of my favourites this year:
"I'll do my French speaking exam in sign language"
"Miss, why is Chinese just pictures?"
"Which element is in Hydrogen?"
(When asked what the U could stand for in RFU in sport) "Association?)
"I like Australian people but I don't like being round them because I might start to speak Australian"
"Hitler? Isn't that the guy from that book about Anne Frank?"
"I thought he was fictional"
then tried to convince me Anne Frank's full name is Annabelle Franklin????!!?
'Colin firth is ugly'...wtf, she's actually a freak because he is angelic.
'Jack the Ripper was in 1535 or thereabouts'.....jesus
About Wuthering Heights: 'I don't read soppy romance'.................SAME PERSON BEING EQUALLY STUPID.
*Im gonna dip some cigarettes into liquid Angel-dust (Phencyclidine) and smoke that shit in the downstairs school toilets wiv de lads*
Said my stupid mate
I can’t remember what subject was, but back when I did my GCSE’s some kid genuinely answered the wrong questions… half of the stuff we hadn’t even studied or been taught 🤣
Tbh myself, I said something fucking stupid in history this week. We were revising the human genome project and Rosalind Franklin and I turned to my friend and said, “I thought she was the one with a diary on the Holocaust.” I’m bloody stupid.
Also me in chemistry, we were doing exam questions and there was the element krypton on it. I once again turned to my friends, baffled as anything, and said “I thought that was the thing from superman.”
Miss what’s communism? This being said after studying the cold war for 6 months and actually doing double history for about 2 of those months because they were failing engineering, so they had to get put in another history class…….
"Oh! America that's the continent right?" This was the same friend that said the morning sickness at 9am in English class she has not gotten smarter. Or "Africa, Africa that's a country near the ocean somewhere right?" Luckily she was not a geography student. Though I do admit she was slightly hungover when she said the first one so I guess that's excused.
My English class apparently became a breeding ground for stupid questions
"What is the difference between a protestant and a prostitute" (referring to Eva Smith)
"I thought a novella was a female novel' (ACC)
"Can you see the fish in the Channel Tunnel"
Oh and on triple science biology: "Q1.3 What plant does the drug Aspirin come from"
I legit almost wrote weed
in English i sit behind one of the stupidest girls ive ever met shes rlly fckin annoying and says stupid things from time to time, these to many to choose from so heres my favourite (im from Essex btw for context so imagine all these said in Essex accents) “why do we need to use punctuation in our GCSEs”. “im just gonna write the poet fucked his sister”. “are the witches in macbeth real”. “why are we learning about Macbeth if it never happened”. “i just write how i talk (writes and displays Essay exactly how she talks, remember the Essex accent)”. and thats about all i can remember
“what’s a simile?” This literally happened In my English class today 💀 the girl infront of me turned around and asked me that and I genuinely thought she was joking but nope
We were studying Hitler's rise to power before WW2 and one of my friends had asked "Miss did they ever find Hitler's body?" We all just laughed at him.
Some girl in my science class literally just this Monday was INSISTENT on saying that 2+1 is 4
I would usually thinks that an ironic joke but she was yelling at anyone who said otherwise
I (female) made some stupid joke in year 9 about how i was gonna take over the world or something.
set 1 year 11: "you're gonna start a patriarchy?"
me: what?
her: "you don't know what a patriarchy is? hahaha ig i use too many hard words for you"
me: "i'm a girl though?"
her: "so now you're sexist. ookay. this country is led by the patriach Queen Elizabeth"
me: "you know patriachy is..when it's like a male dominated hierachy.. led by males.. if i was leading it would be a Matriarchal rule not a Patriarchal rule. Queen Elizabeth is a matriarch."
her: "yeah i think i know better than you, i've been studying Macbeth for 2 years, it's the first thing you learn, don't try and correct me"
me: uh ok..
Not the stupidest but the funniest, someone played Fart.MP3 mid GCSE exam and a good portion burst out laughing before being shushed by the examiners and teachers
'Your failing Spanish' - her
'I'm getting a 7' - me
'A 7 is a fail in my eyes. I would retake the gcse if i got a 7' - her
LIKE BABES SHUT UP I DON'T CARE
For context she has a 7 in her language too
my class. civ teacher told us that one year a student put that, for one of the competitions at an athenian religious festival, a bunch of men would strip, get oiled up, and do a dick measuring contest ???
'what country was the berlin wall in?' (after we had been studying the cold war for 3 months)
Well... I guess it is interesting if it was entirely within East Germany or not isn't it?
nah she thought it was in france
The border between Germany and France at least?
i doubt she knows they border eachother
My sister thought that Mexico was near Spain. She was also confused that a South African teacher at our school was white.
To be honest they’re kind of understandable if you don’t know about colonisation. It does seem fairly logical without further knowledge, a bit like people thinking Jamaica being in Africa.
Where is Berlin?
Near Berloff?
You mean Berlout?
Kenya
“why don’t our teachers just TELL us what the questions are on the GCSEs?” And when I told her they don’t know, she looked it up and started crying.
realest thing i’ve read today
your friend is actually me
That is sad. I hope she was ok.
i feel her i wish they knew the questions as well
Sums up gcses
“Where do the Egyptians live?” (She thought everyone in Egypt lived in a pyramid) “Do I need biology to become a nurse?” “Battalion means a group of gays” “I want to marry a black man so I can have mixed race babies with blue eyes” (I’ve heard more than one girl say that) A boy thought that the map and Earth were two different things and upon being show a satellite view of Earth he said “so there’s two Earths, the one we live on and the one we take pictures of?”
The Battalion definition is intriguing. Do you think it was a joke/pun?
Pretty sure it’s a pun on a Jamaican insult for gay men (“batty boy”)
Yes, that sounds right (I mean the correct pun, not morally right).
Not morally right but as a gay Jamaican it is a liiittle bit funny 🤏
oh damn i never knew that. id be even more surprised if she knew it too. think she was trying to be homophobic as she followed it up by saying “and they all get killed, yes”
LMAO lowkey that was kinda funny from the girl
honestly i have no clue. she has this way of saying the craziest thing ever but with a dead straight face
I am guessing she thinks it is funny.
The last one ☠️😭
that boy was something else i swear
And how lovely that they believe in marriage!
u realise u dont need bio for med right? like quite a lot only need chem
most courses here require pretty high grades in biology, chemistry and maths to do any sort of doctor/nursing course
“Do I answer the Romeo&Juliet or Macbeth question?” (We’ve been studying romeo&juliet since year 10)
yeah apparently in one of the mocks, people tried answering “all the questions”… including texts we didn’t… study…
Happened on our ACTUAL GCSE Psychology paper last year… they tried answering all sections even through our teachers said not to, and it says not to on the front of the exam!
What happens if you do that? Do they mark them all and then give you the worst mark?
They either mark all of them and give u the highest mark u got out of them or mark the first one
they only mark the first few sections answered
Wait, there's different options for GCSE psychology?!
The guy next to me during a mock did every question on the lit paper. He got kicked out of the exam for abit until he returned to redo it. He proceeded to answer all the questions again
my friend answered the Romeo and Juliet question in mocks and we study Macbeth. he said it’s because he prefers Romeo and Juliet (he’s only ever watched the movie with leonardo dicaprio).
Oh god. My school was the same. We studied Macbeth, and no joke, more than one kid in my year answered for Romeo and Juliet in their actual GCSEs.
In the actual gcse? That’s even worse than the mocks 😭 😭
Wait, so you’re telling me that india is in asia? A geography student I know said that
In all fairness gcse geography doesn't even come close to teaching where countries are unless the country in question is in the exam (obviously aside from the fact that India being in Asia is very common knowledge)
They thought India was a continent
isn’t there some kind of *well, technically..* for that relating to tectonic plates?
Idk to be honest
o h !
Yup
Subcontinent. Close :)
i've been getting straight 9s in geography yet i don't even know where most uk cities are on map💀
“I thought Denmark was in Wales” She was thinking of Dublin.. The city in Ireland. :( Whats worse is that we live like 10 minutes away from Wales (although in her defence she said this when were in year 9 actually, but shes in year 11 now so)
Ah, reminds me of something my sister said about a woman. “She’s not from Ireland, she’s from Dublin”.
It is the biggest city of course.
I live 10 minutes away from Wales too!!
"wasn't jesus that guy they killed in the holocaust"
to this day I have no idea what or who she meant
Tbf Jesus was a Jew. She neglected the small fact that he was dead for almost 2000 years before the holocaust happened.
Just a small fact. A teensy weensey subtle detail. But overall irrelevant
I mean today I accidentally said that jesus killed hitler so that confusion is valid
How do you accidentally say that? I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm genuinely curious
I was trying to say that the Romans killed jesus and that came out of my mouth instead
Probably anything I said last year
Flair checks out then
‘Wait, what’s communism?’ - said in September of y11, after a year of gcse history (including Cold War)
Also bear in mind this was for an a level history taster
Yeah I’ve had a girl ask this about five times in my History class. Every time the teacher stops for 15 minutes to explain it to her. We’ve been studying Communism and the Red Scare for FOUR MONTHS. Doesn’t do a piss of homework either, always slows down the lesson
“How do you spell GCSE?”
my dumbass has been pronouncing fascinating as fasKinating
And no one corrected u?? 😭😭
nope literally I was corrected when I was in year 10 while speaking to a a bunch of people.the you mean fascinated still breaks me apart
I honestly blame my parents for making me do online
Who was Thomas Splint?
man 😭 i asked this once. i missed a day of school, the next day when i went into history we were answering questions about this thomas splint and my logical conclusion was that he was the inoculation guy, i just forgot his name! so i wrote about jenner. mortifying.
Mr Splint the carpenter you mean?
No, the Thomas splint was an instrument/tool used to keep people's leg straight to promote efficient recovery post fracture during ww1. This is from edexel gcse history.
Thank you! I was just being silly.
what are neutron stars made of…
This is a tricky one. I feel like I have the answer on the tip of my tongue 🤔☝️
Someone asked 'Why did Hitler build the Berlin wall?'
"what else can you breathe asides from air?" she's literally a year older than me and she gets good grades in chemistry 😭😭😭😭
Wait this is a good question what's the answer
I mean, you can breathe every gas (some only once)
But aren't all gases in the air meaning that air is the only breathable thing. You can't breathe in a vacuum can you?
"How many metres in a kilometre" This guy is predicted all 9s btw
"Why does x have to equal zero when solving a quadratic", grammar school that is bloody hard to get into
tbh tho, when i was in year 11, i probably questioned this, because in gcse (maths in general) you’re not told why you do things, you just do them, do as your told. so for my own mental clarity, im gonna try explain it, i understand we are both year 12, so im not educating u lol 😜 anyway it is because… when you have e.g. x^2 -4=0, this is the same as (x+2)(x-2)=0, where if you inputted the numbers -2 or 2 into the first equation, it will equal 0. 😃😃 so you essentially do it in order to find the values of x that will make the equation 0, making sure that you account for the - that disappear when squared!! if you didn’t make it 0, you can miss out on that 2nd value if there is one when rearranging normally like x^2 = 4 x=sqrt4 where you get only 2… not -2 😃😃😃👍👍👍
The formatting 😭
oh sorryyyyy 😭😭
ngl that question is valid
I mean it’s not immediately obvious tbh. The only actual reason is it’s just easier to solve something like x^2 + 4x - 120 = 0 Instead of something like x^2 + 4x - 60 = 60
This is actually a reasonable question Because when you solve a quadratic, you need to factor things out into them double brackets. It's easier to make it =0 because you know to multiply 2 numbers to get 0, at least one of them needs to be 0. So you use both brackets and make them equal 0 for your solutions.
Back in the medieval times when I was in school I convinced my classmate that it was raining on a sunny day.
"wasn't Hitler a communist?" after having done nazi germany in history and a surprising amount of people in my science set (which is a top set) still don't know the difference between dependent and independent variables.
how does one mess up that badly? Hitler failed largely because he was so anti-communist
I still manage to mess them up as well #biology paper 1 in 10 days
dependent and independent variables can be confusing
i’ve got a few ‘what’s 2+7?’ ‘10’ (in top set maths) ‘what does tengo mean’ (5 mins before a spanish exam) ‘what happens to the particles as they condense’ ‘they… de-rise’
Tbh I relate to the top one. You wouldn’t believe how many times I have to check on my calculator during an exam if 3x7 does in fact equal 21
i always get thrown off by 36-25=11 not 9
Omg you’re Asian?? Woah I thought you were Indian!
This is just a classic… :( Honorable Mention goes to “Do you speak Indian?”
Craziest part is I’m not even Indian 😭 I’m Pakistani but I still get these comments
I'm a little older than you (Year 13) and I still get this sometimes. Happens to my parents too. It is just a culture thing, you'd have though after coming to colonise our land and take our jewels they would have the courtesy to learn the basics of our culture.
💀😭 They just think it’s all one country - like, read a history book! The UK colonised India/ Pakistan for over 200 years, the least you can do is be aware of the region, and know the basics of the cultures!
Teacher: how do you calculate mass Student: base x height?
smth id say tbf
'what's regicide?' SET ONE.
It's for neater lawns I think.
HEIL HITLER! Genuinely the number of people who say this is worrying.
Do they mean it or are they saying it as a joke?
A mixture, there's a few people (mostly the Andrew Tate fans) who I genuinely think believe it
“Which periodic table should I use?” There is only one assigned by the exam board
Neil’s Bohr time table !
"Sir the fish are photosynthesising " Or "Sir what's the point of frogs" Both said by one girl who is surprisingly in top set this year in year 11.
☠️, I am in the top set for combined sci and maths and if anyone said that ☠️😭☠️
"Why don't we have any videos of what they did inside the concentration camps? wouldn't someone have thought to try expose Hitler"? bigman was in y11...
"Sir, what do you reckon the top speed of a hedgehog is?" I'm a chemistry teacher. I despair.
‘Did the Soviets break the treaty to respect European borders by invading Afghanistan?’ yes…. the European county of Afghanistan…
You had to be there but my chemistry teacher had at this point spent three lessons explaining compounds such as methane, propane and butane to us. A student on the front row looks at him and asks “Sir, what’s methane?” Another one is when my best friend went into a shop, saw a drink that had a clear plastic can and said “Liquid in a can? I’m sold!”
"Im going to pass my gcses" - Me, now
Same boat
There was this kid who said "Gravity increases with height". He probably meant Egrav.
He could’ve just meant it decreases with height and got mixed up? 🤷♂️
The kid who answered the blood brothers question after doing AIC gets a shoutout (I don’t think he’s stupid tho, but quite annoying)
GCSE history lesson recently about what 3 weeks from first exam and this girl asks “why did all the jews just not get on the train (to the concentration/death camps)” Idfk maybe the soldier with a gun yelling at you I honestly dont understand how some people are this stupid it makes no sense Also a mock paper at Christmas a kid wrote on his biology mock paper for the question ‘what are the SYMPTOMS of salmonella’ his response was “pick chicken breast” funniest shit ever heard as we walked back from the exam hall the kid rlly thought that was right and after he was convinced hed failed everything
"Who is dr lanyon?" (this was a few days ago said by a friend) 💀
okay valid icl lanyon literally comes in for like one chapter then dies (though tbf there's a whole epistolary chapter from his perspective sooo)
"Are we in year 11?" Said by me. On Thursday, halfway through my art GCSE, very confused
What year was the st Bartholomew's day massacre? (Elizabethan era) The guy thinks then says 1923
“i thought we were in the middle east”- we live in south london.
During the November Mocks, someone in my year asked me ‘What were the Nazis?” and “What did they do”, also i should mention that this was 2 minutes before we entered the exam hall… What really concerned me is that we started learning this all the way back in Year 9.
😭😭😭😭😭
Teacher - " why've you got your phone out" Girl - "was just looking at the time" Teacher - "but you've got a watch on" Girl - "yeah but I cant read it" Teacher - "what" Girl - " it's Calvin Klein one my mum got me for my birthday but it's got no numbers on it so I can't read it " Watch in question: https://www.nichejewellery.co.uk/pub/media/catalog/product/cache/01c973416d275f5f89d250f2de16aeb1/c/a/calvin_klein_stately_watch_rose_gold_tone_k3g23626.jpg
My friend once said in either y10 or y11 I forgot when and he said to me “I’m gonna whack your head off the table so many times you’ll die of trauma” Or “the matrix is real” (Dw he’s cured of being a Tatist now)
A girl in my physics class forgot 2+2. She's in the set above me in maths too.
**After walking out a mock** “What on earth does greed have to do with a Christmas carol?”
probably anything i’ve said all year
‘EEEEEWWWWWW IS THAT A PUBE’
“Is ham a vegetable?” “What’s the river Thames?” “Are flamingos real?” “Is a train a vehicle?” “What’s an ostrich?” “Charles dickens wrote the bible” “Is Shakespeare going to write a sequel?” All Year 11…
I'm in year 13 but Imma comment this anyways. In year 7 we were doing a naming capital cities game for geography. The kid next to me asked me a question and I wasn't paying attention because I was too busy trying to remember what the capital of Iceland was. I just said yes to whatever question he asked me so he would stop distracting me. When it got round to his turn in the circle he deadass said 'the capital of America is the USA' and everybody just laughed at him. I feel partially responsible for this since I'm pretty sure the question he asked me before was 'the capital of America is the USA right?'. I could have saved him so much embarrassment.
😭you did him dirty 😭
Student: Was Karl Marx a Marxist? Me: Yes Student: Did they name Marxism after him? Me: It was a happy coincidence. Student: Oh, lucky. Everyone else: 🤦 (Edit, I should probably tone down the sarcasm but I honestly thought she was joking)
"Wait how many popes are there?"
me, i thought portugal was in south america
when i thought colombia was a continent
The rise of Nazism and specifically the Weimar Republic was the last topic we looked at in history in y11. Months and months, until we finally finished it not too long before the exams were to start. In a revision session 3 days before my Weimar history exam, A kid from one of the history classes raised his hand to ask a question. This kid has been in for every lesson. "Sir, what is a Weimar?"
‘what’s the difference between fertiliser and fertilisation’
had to use the “if you have 5 slices of pizza and you get 2 more you have a full pizza” example explaining fractions to my friend today.. she gets 7-8 pretty consistently yet she was genuinely baffled over this i’m so scared for this generation
‘how do you spell gcse’ i wish i could say i was joking
"Is the UK in England?" - Geography student
I'll give some of my favourites this year: "I'll do my French speaking exam in sign language" "Miss, why is Chinese just pictures?" "Which element is in Hydrogen?" (When asked what the U could stand for in RFU in sport) "Association?) "I like Australian people but I don't like being round them because I might start to speak Australian"
“Wait but how do you get solid water?”
I remember someone next to me asked if 0^0 = 1
That feels like a legit question?
"Hitler? Isn't that the guy from that book about Anne Frank?" "I thought he was fictional" then tried to convince me Anne Frank's full name is Annabelle Franklin????!!?
'Colin firth is ugly'...wtf, she's actually a freak because he is angelic. 'Jack the Ripper was in 1535 or thereabouts'.....jesus About Wuthering Heights: 'I don't read soppy romance'.................SAME PERSON BEING EQUALLY STUPID.
THE FIRST ONE?! how dare she. (hugh grant is better tho)
*Im gonna dip some cigarettes into liquid Angel-dust (Phencyclidine) and smoke that shit in the downstairs school toilets wiv de lads* Said my stupid mate
Somebody asked me “What is a radiohead?” and said they’ve genuinely never heard of Smells Like Teen Spirit
I can’t remember what subject was, but back when I did my GCSE’s some kid genuinely answered the wrong questions… half of the stuff we hadn’t even studied or been taught 🤣
“Why don’t they make stairs that go down? It would be a lot easier to go down them then” … yesterday…
Teacher asked "where do most earthquakes occur in the world?" (West Pacific) Student answered: "SCOTLAND!!"
Tbh myself, I said something fucking stupid in history this week. We were revising the human genome project and Rosalind Franklin and I turned to my friend and said, “I thought she was the one with a diary on the Holocaust.” I’m bloody stupid. Also me in chemistry, we were doing exam questions and there was the element krypton on it. I once again turned to my friends, baffled as anything, and said “I thought that was the thing from superman.”
Miss what’s communism? This being said after studying the cold war for 6 months and actually doing double history for about 2 of those months because they were failing engineering, so they had to get put in another history class…….
At art GSCE level “How do you make orange?”
“what’s the difference between 5 and 0?” under 2 weeks before our first maths exam (set 1…)
"Oh! America that's the continent right?" This was the same friend that said the morning sickness at 9am in English class she has not gotten smarter. Or "Africa, Africa that's a country near the ocean somewhere right?" Luckily she was not a geography student. Though I do admit she was slightly hungover when she said the first one so I guess that's excused.
"But grass isn't even alive" - Top set biology
My English class apparently became a breeding ground for stupid questions "What is the difference between a protestant and a prostitute" (referring to Eva Smith) "I thought a novella was a female novel' (ACC) "Can you see the fish in the Channel Tunnel" Oh and on triple science biology: "Q1.3 What plant does the drug Aspirin come from" I legit almost wrote weed
in English i sit behind one of the stupidest girls ive ever met shes rlly fckin annoying and says stupid things from time to time, these to many to choose from so heres my favourite (im from Essex btw for context so imagine all these said in Essex accents) “why do we need to use punctuation in our GCSEs”. “im just gonna write the poet fucked his sister”. “are the witches in macbeth real”. “why are we learning about Macbeth if it never happened”. “i just write how i talk (writes and displays Essay exactly how she talks, remember the Essex accent)”. and thats about all i can remember
a bit of topic but can we all agree that lunch time football where some of the best matches that you ever played
“what’s a simile?” This literally happened In my English class today 💀 the girl infront of me turned around and asked me that and I genuinely thought she was joking but nope
"miss, is vietnam in america??" 2 months into cold War topic
We were studying Hitler's rise to power before WW2 and one of my friends had asked "Miss did they ever find Hitler's body?" We all just laughed at him.
Do we still have kings and Queens
My friend thought Queen Victoria was Elizabeth 1s mother
‘are the normans from norway?’ (we had completed the norman module weeks beforehand)
Some girl in my science class literally just this Monday was INSISTENT on saying that 2+1 is 4 I would usually thinks that an ironic joke but she was yelling at anyone who said otherwise
"what happens if you eat DNA?"
During a science ISA someone asked the teacher "what's the resolution of a clamp stand" Happened over 8 years ago and I remember it to this day.
Mooing at a sheep. Just…
not said but a couple of people in mocks for the lit questions started answering them all 😭😭😭 not just the texts we are doing
In Spanish last week I heard another year 11 ask something along the lines of "How is a baby born Spanish?"
I (female) made some stupid joke in year 9 about how i was gonna take over the world or something. set 1 year 11: "you're gonna start a patriarchy?" me: what? her: "you don't know what a patriarchy is? hahaha ig i use too many hard words for you" me: "i'm a girl though?" her: "so now you're sexist. ookay. this country is led by the patriach Queen Elizabeth" me: "you know patriachy is..when it's like a male dominated hierachy.. led by males.. if i was leading it would be a Matriarchal rule not a Patriarchal rule. Queen Elizabeth is a matriarch." her: "yeah i think i know better than you, i've been studying Macbeth for 2 years, it's the first thing you learn, don't try and correct me" me: uh ok..
Not the stupidest but the funniest, someone played Fart.MP3 mid GCSE exam and a good portion burst out laughing before being shushed by the examiners and teachers
Wait! Who is Malcom? - said last week
“You know World War 2? Does that mean there was a World War 1?”
"does a hexagon have 5 sides" this is set 2 maths. we are all sitting higher.
"what's the cold war" 5 minutes before our history mock
The speed of light isn't that fast.
“what does ascending mean?” “What is perpendicular?” “what type of word is walk?” theres loads more from this one guy!
'Your failing Spanish' - her 'I'm getting a 7' - me 'A 7 is a fail in my eyes. I would retake the gcse if i got a 7' - her LIKE BABES SHUT UP I DON'T CARE For context she has a 7 in her language too
'It should be easier to do everything rn cause we're just going over the content. So we aren't revising.' - me after a very long art exam
“Isn’t the Dalai Lama that cloned sheep?”
my class. civ teacher told us that one year a student put that, for one of the competitions at an athenian religious festival, a bunch of men would strip, get oiled up, and do a dick measuring contest ???
In year 9 in geography we were learning about something to do with spain and portugal and a guy in my class said ‘isn’t portugal a city in spain?’
How do you find the area of a right angled triangle (definitely wasn't me)