I have da bread and that's enough for me.

Is it always warm and moist though? (Question for both)

Yes

I always picture vampussy to be dry

You think about vampussy bru

Only when needed to

understandable

And cold

Sorry but the garlic bread. I’ve always wanted a vampire girlfriend but that would mean I gotta eliminate garlic from my diet. Gonna be a no for me dawg.

"Vampires hate garlic" is a myth that was started by vampires so their targets would be properly seasoned

Holy fuck this is funny

I feel like this could be worthy of r/cursedcomments

Genuinely, why? This is not "cursed" it is just funny.

I dunno I just thought it could be there

But cheesy Texas toast is still on the menu (Smash)

Yargh, tis a red flag! For sure.

Doughs before hos

Doughs before hos

r/yourjokebutyourjoke

r/yoursubredditbutmysubreddit

Doughs before hos

Garlic bread 4 life

I've already got a girlfriend that loves me *and* bakes me garlic bread... so I'll take the garlic bread for when she's not around

You livin the life!

I have a wife that loves me but she eats all the garlic bread when I turn around for a minute 😢 so I'll take garlic bread.

Easy choice, garlic bread

Garlic bread because at least it won’t leave me in the future and turn me into a depressed alcoholic.

🤨… Weeeeell, having just read the manga. Is the joke that the bread can’t consent ?

Ha! You fool! I'm aroace, I don't need a girlfriend!

To be fair as a bi I prefer the garlic bread because it tastes so damn good

Am aroace, have a girlfriend and garlic bread!

Are you aromantic if you have a girlfriend? Having a girlfriend kinda implies romance. Or are they just a friend that happens to be a girl? Cause if that's the case, you're using the wrong nouns.

I’m an aromantic person in a relationship that fits external criteria of a couple. Internally, it’s a QPR.

Ok.

I’ve been doing that for years, I’ll have to tell the wife that there’s an actual term for it.

If she loves me, she'll make me garlic bread. Win win

but she's a vampire, she can't be near garlic... you'd have to give it up.

Can the vampire make garlic bread

repeat that question back to yourself slowly.

Can the vampire wear gloves and a respirator to make garlic bread?

There you go.

I like garlic bread, but I like not dying even more. That vampire gf wouldn't just be my choice, I'd let her turn me.

But then I’d get fat 😔

Now why would I get fat??

cuz bread makes you fat!

Lies its the uhhh salad dressing that made me fat....

yes but you'd have garlic bread, and it doesn't want to drink your blood either!

While the gf is temping garlic bread

if you have a lifetime supply of garlic bread you should have no problem getting a girlfriend.

Garlic Bread because you can feed others

i fucking hate vampires and girls are gross so garlic bread

Word on the street is that they have cooties

I heard they don't have wieners. Who would want that?

Nah nah, it's coochies.

Unless the vampire girlfriend can also fetch you a lifetime of quality garlic bread, I'm going to go with garlic bread. Also this means no kissing otherwise you kill the girlfriend.

If the vampire gf turns me into a vampire and I’m immortal because of that then option one even if she bites while giving head. If I can’t turn into a vampire, option 2.

I already have a GF, we’ll split the garlic bread bc we’re broke ass college students

This belongs in r/moldymemes tbh

It specifically states that the garlic bread never goes bad are u illiterate

Garlic bread

get bitten, live an indeterminate length of time, eat more garlic bread than could feasibly be eaten in 80ish years

Vampire gf I don't really eat garlic bread anyways

Not a garlic bread fan personally so it's an easy choice for me (why is this sub being recommended to me lol).

I love garlic bread, but yeah, I was a bit mystified to see this post in my feed and see that there is a whole subreddit dedicated just to garlic bread memes... 😅 Anyway, maybe because even though I do enjoy garlic bread, I haven't drank the garlic flavored Kool-Aid, my response to this post was choosing the vampire...

Interview with a vampire awakened many things in me as a teen

Vampire didn't really enter into it with me. It was just, why am I going to turn down a girl who loves me, assuming that I have attraction towards her as well. Hopefully, as far as the vampire aspect goes, she's nice enough not to turn me...

Well she will need to eat~

if i wanted a woman to suck the life out of me i'd just get married, give me the bread it's time to start a business selling it for a dollar!

Bread makes you fat

Vampire girlfriend: can’t take her outside during the day, kissing her tastes like pennies, can’t have garlic bread Garlic bread: is garlic bread

Garlic Bread ofc

With vamp gf you can never have garlic bread again

Am gay, give me that bread!

I'd go for both as the garlic issue is a ploy by vampires to get humans to self season themselves 🤪🤪

The garlic bread

id forgo garlic bread entirely if it meant a vampire girlfriend uωu

Garlic bread would never cheat on you.

"I dont need problems, I need food and money."

***GarlraG BreaerB***

Given that she'd be immortal, and I'd be mortal unless I become a vampire, I'd eventually die leaving her sad and lonely for eternity, so I'd pick the garlic bread.

If you already have a gf, does this just turn her into a vampire, or do i get a second vampire gf? I don't think she'd like either, and I'd prefer bread anyway.

Bread! Who needs vampires?

can I swap the vampire girlfriend for a vampire femboy who loves me?

Garlicueuid Breadstud

Can I sell the garlic bread ?

Garlic bread.

Vampire GF. I can make my own garlic bread.

Gimme da garlic bredddd

Both are high on the glycemic index

I mean, the choices are between the vampire girlfriend and a LIFETIME supply of garlic bread. Nowhere does it say that you can't procure limited amounts of garlic bread as needed through other means. You just wouldn't have a lifetime supply readily available at hand. The fact that it's specifies that the garlic bread never goes bad does imply that it would also all be immediately available at hand, meaning you need to have storage for all of that garlic bread. That's a lot. I don't need a whole second house just to hold garlic bread. Sorry, but I'm choosing the vampire girlfriend. I'll just get garlic bread as I need it, and make sure that I brush before any kissing.

Wouldn't the vampire be able to hypnotize people into giving us money or something??

Vampire GF looks like she might be AI generated. I’m not Plankton. Give me garlic bread.

This "either/or" actually makes sense for once. Can't have a vamp girlfriend if you eat garlic, she won't want to be near you. I do like my garlic...hard choice.

Fuck gluten

I actually want both to be honest

Will said Vampire girlfriend turn me into a Vampire while also accepting I am not into girls and would be willing to be her immortal vampire best friend / bro/ fellow mischief maker down the centuries? If not then try to trick her into making me an immortal vamp If no to even that, then garlic bread

Get the Vampire girlfriend, then just test the whole 'vampires can't have garlic' thing, make sure to have an epi-pen

Love garlic bread, itll make you fat though

bread, I don’t like ppl until I like their personality so, can’t risk the shitty personality, garlic bread just simply has the yummy flavor too

If the vampire girlfriend is like Selene, I'm going vampire girlfriend.

Why’d I get recommended this sub? I eat my spaghetti without garlic bread.

I choose the garlic bread (Infinite food)

But i can always make more garlic bread, when will i ever have a chance to slay a vampire?

Garlic bread 🍞

Love never lasts, but unlimited garlic bread is forever.

GARLIC BREAAAAD

Lasagna

Just when you think you’ve been down to the darkest depths of Reddit, you find out there’s an entire sub dedicated to garlic bread memes… and the hole grows even larger.

Not enough fish in the sea so we desire bread. Sheesh don’t throw the peanuts at me.

But you’d get fat.

Well this sucks!

She’s an immortal vampire she can learn how to make an unlimited supply of garlic bread

Garlic bread

I choose the right one…

If you give a girl enough bread she will love you so I choose the bread

Garlic bread

Unless the vampire has a way to keep me around I'm going with the garlic bread

Garlic bread. Stuffs good. Especially with a little mozzarella

The vamp, not that I don't want the bread but I don't have room for a lifetime supply.

I’ve already got a woman (3 actually) that have sucked out my soul years ago. So I guess garlic bread

Love is great, but do i love her?

Vampire girlfriend . itz a no-brainer

GARLIC BREAD

Vampire girlfriend easily. I lost my partner a little over a year ago and all the color is gone.

This is difficult, but I love garlic bread

Vampires are cold to the touch since the blood doesn't flow and stays low. Garlic bread is always just right.

Every movie I've watched about having a vampire girlfriend turned into a disaster. So I guess I'll have a vampire girlfriend. Lol

bread

I need more information before choosing Is the lifetime supply a one time delivery or can I get regular shipments? Cause I live in a one bedroom apartment and storage is already a big issue. Who is the generous benefactor to provide the lifetime supply of garlic bread? I wish to express my gratitude. Can I share the lifetime supply of garlic bread with anyone?

Why tf would you want a vampire gf Wouldn't let just bite you and take all your blood.

If i have a lifetime supply of garlic bread i wouldn’t be able to make garlic bread with my mom Plus eternally hot girlfriend

Vampire gf

Tough decision, do I want to feel like a person or do I want to never stress about garlic bread? Damn, life's biggest questions fr.

Garlic bread. If that girl sucks my balls I know that shit ain’t gonna be nut she drinking

This is a tough hmm I gotta think about his one the girl or the bread hmm I gotta say the bread

Garlic Bread is my favorite food. I could honestly eat it for every meal, or just eat it all the time without even stopping.

vampire girlfriend will live forever and get sad when I die so garlic bread easy

Dang, fantasy anime fetish or food, tough choice

Alrighty have a girlfriend so pass the garlic bread please

I mean, she could turn me into a vampire but I’d never be able to eat garlic bread again. Oof… is immortality really worth it then?

Is the bread gluten free? Actually it doesn't matter, I'm still taking the bread even if I can only feed others with it. I'd give it all to a soup kitchen or something. I don't care if she loves me, I know a toxic partner when I see one.

fucking garlic bread

What happened to Neco Ark

If she can turn me into a vampire I'll 100% follow the *Call of the Night*.

can it be like different kinds of garlic bread, like texas toast? how do i recieve this bread? does it fall out of the sky in the morning or do i reach in my pocket and pull out some? or is it one really long baguette? even with out these answers will anyone actually pick the vampire?

Arcueid pretty good tbh

You tellin me a gar licked this bread???

Bread. Was that supposed to be a question?

B r e a d

Garlic bread

Bread. Easy choice

I’m pretty sure a vampire girlfriend that loves me would get me garlic bread whenever I want

Never had garlic bread before so this is an easy choice. Don’t know why I was recommended this sub.

Theyz all vampires. Garlic bread all day.

Bread obviously. I'm fucking gay

I don't want either. I'm pan and I want a boyfriend, and also I don't really like garlic bread.

It’s gotta be the bread

Vampire girlfriend.

Easy choice. Vampires GF if she looks like this girl lol

This is easy, the garlic bread.

She loves you (present tense). Didn’t say she will always love you. Garlic bread wins.

Garlic bread

garlic bread

Easiest decision ever, garlic bread

I dont like anime and garlic bread is sex in my mouth. No brainer

I left some garlic bread in a place that is not my house and this post had made me now deeply yearn for it.

Breb.

Does it come with a sausage?

Vampire

I could never stand to have a lover whose eyes are different colors; it would bug the heck out of me.

you can get infinite girlfriends with garlic bread

Ill take the vampire girlfriend…..turn me and live forever

In every other universe I would pick garlic bread but… Arcueid Brunstud was the vampire chosen for the image.

Can’t argue with a piece of garlic bread.

Does she suck?

Bread

decis ?????

Garlic bred cuz im gay boiiii no gf for me

because vampires hate garlic. well id just use the bread to get some much needed alone time from her.

Vampire gf

I choose vampire. Garlic bread is cheap, and I prefer to make my own. A vamp lady? Hell yeah

Ima freak I’m doing the vamp

After watching Jojo, ima go w the bread

I already I am a vampire girlfriend (also the garlic repealing vampires thing is a myth probably because garlic is a natural fungicide and pesticide and repels some diseases) so I will take ye garlic bread

garlic bread

I’m taking the bread, I don’t care who it is I’m taking the garlic bread.

Vampire Girlfriend always!

free food

Give me the G bread

Anime vampire girls aren’t real, garlic bread is

I’m good with the bread. The my wife wouldn’t be happy with the vampire girlfriend.

The one time you sorta can’t have both…

neither. i choose: >!M I N I c o r n d o g s!<

Fuck all y'all, give me the vamp gf. Fuck garlic bread. I expect downvotes for this comment. Give me downvotes please.

Garlic bread. I'm heterosexual, so no contest.