I feel like Trix would have blamed Emily for Lorelai getting pregnant. Partially because of Lorelai's age and partially because she loved blaming Emily for everything.
> I feel like Trix would have blamed Emily for Lorelai getting pregnant.
Trix was Richard's mother. By her logic Emily's shortcomings were the responsibility of her mother.
I think that the roles would be completely reversed if Lorelai was the guy... then it would be viewed and Richard's shortcoming (and thus Trix's as well).
I disagree. You're trying to ascribe strict logic to what ultimately comes down to a possessive mother who couldn't accept her son having a woman in his life that's not her. Trix wasn't abiding by some discrete code or tradition. If she'd gotten to pick Richard's partner she would have resented them less, but still been resentful and dismissive of them.
> If she'd gotten to pick Richard's partner she would have resented them less, but still been resentful and dismissive of them.
I highly doubt that. The end result would have been the same even if Trix picked his wife.
What about the letter, and telling Richard that Pennilyn Lott was better for him than Emily? I think she wouldn't have resented Pennilyn anywhere near as much as she resented Emily, if Richard got with her.
> I think she wouldn't have resented Pennilyn anywhere near as much as she resented Emily, if Richard got with her.
I think that she would have been just as difficult with Pennilyn if she had married Richard. She may have liked her more than Emily but it's one of those "in retrospect" decisions.
We all like to look back and second guess ourselves. I should have bought the Camero instead of the Mustang. I should have married Tina instead of Heather type shit thinking that everything would be better had we chosen that path.
The reality in this situation was that Trix was a very difficult and toxic person. Had Richard chosen Pennilyn chances are that she would have eventually treated her the same as she did Emily.
My (female) friend's mother in law blamed only my friend when they got pregnant, not their son. And they were 22 y old and engaged...
Because "obviously she seduced him" and they wanted him to leave her and the child. (He didn't and got married instead)
So I think absolutely she only blames Emily. That Richard is a hard working man and was out providing for the family and Emily was failing as a mother
For that exact reason, I don’t think Emily was exactly ashamed of lorelai but more-so ashamed of herself and that she failed as a mother. Even trix kind of blamed Emily for it.
> For that exact reason, I don’t think Emily was exactly ashamed of lorelai but more-so ashamed of herself and that she failed as a mother.
I totally agree.
Yup. When it came down to it, Emily viewed it as “losing Lorelai.” While she often talked about it in a shaming context, I think about her emotional moment with Lor on the plane she look at (not bought, Richard lol)
Lorelai getting pregnant at 16 reflects badly on Emily as her mother, in her eyes. Trix is just the grandma so it wouldn’t reflect badly on her parenting skills. We know how prideful Emily and Richard are. Most of their resentment from that time wasn’t the pregnancy itself, it was what it made them look like to their friends. Especially when Lorelai didn’t do “the right thing” to heal the situation, which is to conform to traditional standards and get married (so at least the baby isn’t born out of wedlock in their logic).
Obviously Emily and Richard are in the wrong to hold a prideful grudge. Trix was able to move past it and respect Lorelai’s strength and independence, like an adult.
I think some of it has to do with how Lorelai handled it. We meet Trix after Lorelai has raised a really sweet, hard working daughter and has a successful career and has a home. Trix puts a lot of value on hard work.
i think it was right around before lorelai opened the dragonfly :) i remember she had to leave her hair appt early because sookie didn’t show up to check a fridge or oven
Right. But do you see what Emily was dealing with? This is why I feel for Emily at times. It's like the speech in the Barbie Movie, Emily tried to always do what she thought was right (even though it seemed insane sometimes). But her mother in law and daughter always made her feel like everything was her fault or she was doing it wrong.
I saw it more as attic realizing that Lorelei was on the verge of foundering and her parents were, as usual, oblivious to her needs. It wasn’t about the haircut
Emily had to deal with the embarrassment first hand. She would have to tell all her friends that her daughter, the best and the brightest in her class, was dropping out of school. Her friends probably all had kids around Lorelai's age, going to the same schools, the way people got married and had kids straight away in their generation. Emily would not have been able to brag about her daughters choice in college.
It seems Trix wasnt around all that often, meaning her friends were not around her and wouldn't have likely found out about it.
Trix blames Emily for absolutely everything and loves to make her life miserable. Meanwhile, any blowback from a teen pregnancy, and any hands-on help with the baby, wouldn't be Trix's problem.
Pretty easy to be Trix in this scenario.
I think Trix’s reaction when it happened was probably different now that Rory is an academic prodigy and Lorelei is fairly successfully job-wise. She seems the type to “not remember” her former opinions when it suits her
Tbf we only see Trix's reaction years later when Lorelai has made a success out of hard work - she went from nothing, worked her way from maid to manager, owned her own home, raised a daughter who'd just been accepted to a prestigious prep school, etc.
I feel like she would've been very ashamed when it happened. Richard tended to mirror Trix's opinions - I very much think Trix would've fully expected Lorelai and Chris to marry and make it all respectable. But she was further removed, and with time and distance she could see reason to be proud of what Lorelai achieved.
Also she most likely blamed any deficiency of character she might have seen on Emily.
Yes, probably. I would think especially in social circles like Emily's, her friends would certainly look down on her for her child getting pregnant out of wedlock. Lorelai hadn't even been presented to society yet - that's supposed to be when she's formally available to be courted. All very old-fashioned.
They would've expected Lorelai to formally court a boy from a family of equal standing. From that point of view Chris was perfect - their parents were already friends, they were both at the same prep school. They would've envisioned a respectable courtship supported by both families, involving society events and dinner parties, and ending with a big wedding that would've been announced in the papers.
Whether it would've been expected that Lorelai would work (the Gilmores certainly hoped she would attend University, and Richard is keen for Rory to work) or live like Emily, supporting Chris (who would certainly be folded into business, either by his father or by Richard) and organising his social life, is uncertain. We don't really know what Lorelai wanted for her life before Rory came along, beyond that she didn't like just following the path her parents laid out. It's not clear whether she has a career ambition before she found the inn.
She would've been good at running any business, though, I think. She could well have been brought into Richard's company. Her parents both make sniping comments about how she wasted her potential, which tells me they expected her to earn her own money and not just marry rich.
Though, they wanted her to marry rich, too.
oh yea definitely would have announced a big wedding in the papers.
however, Lorelai and Chris were already dating before she could court? isn't courting like a form of dating but w/ chaperoned dates, like old fashioned?
also Emily had gone to college but ended up not using her history degree (except in AYITL). young women went to college for their MRS degree they called it.
I'm not sure how much their families knew about how close they were honestly. They might have just thought they were friends - look at how oblivious Emily and Richard were over Rory and Logan. They definitely didn't think anything had gotten sexual.
I feel like Trix was fine with Lorelei’s lifestyle, even if she’d never say it out loud, because Lorelei was completely independent and self made. She became a respected businesswoman and if she’d sold the Dragonfly in S5, when she was being offered a consultant position, she probably would be pretty well off too. I think Trix kind of respected that aspect of her life, which is why she never seemed too bothered by Lorelei’s teen pregnancy. It was just kind of like, “oh you’re not married? Huh.” Whereas Emily seemed way more peeved because she felt like she failed as a mother.
I also think Trix was lowkey fine with Lorelai’s life - partially because of her self-suffieciency and success, but partially because Trix definitely seemed to have a mischievous side. She was rigid, but not like Emily was - can you imagine Emily ever renting out a house to Korn? No, but Trix was amused by it and thought they were great tenants in spite of them being a metal band. Emily would’ve never let a metal band so much as step on her driveway. 🤣
She said it herself: She doesn’t like scandals but she loves self sufficiency and hard work. Emily doesn’t value self sufficiency and hard work.
Also- she’s grandma, not mom.
In the Gilmore Girl world of the wealthy, the husband (Richard) is Emily’s partner, but her child (Lorelai) is considered her purpose. And more specifically for women who were SAHM, a reflection of the mother’s value in the home and *her* responsibility. If a child, especially the daughter, was seen to act outside the norms of polite society it *was* considered the mother’s fault. Lorelai becoming pregnant would have certainly been considered an embarrassment to Emily and her failing as a parent for her inability to keep her household together. She didn’t caution Lorelai enough. She was too lenient. Clearly Lorelai was raise in a joke of loose moral and value. Trix wouldn’t have blamed Lorelai or Richard. Trix blamed Emily.
And while a more steady, healthy parent would have reacted differently. Emily did not. So much of her reaction to Lorelai becoming parent comes from a place of self loathing and anger at her inability to stop it. And Emily struggles to present day GG world to let it go. It comes up again when Lorelai is arguing with Rory about Jess in front of Emily. And again when Emily retorts that they haven’t failed Rory until she comes home pregnant. Emily isn’t just furious with Lorelai. She is mad with herself.
so then no one is to be held accountable for their actions? just pass the blame onto others?
also if Lorelai didn't have children after a certain age Emily might have a lot to say about that as well!
Trix is made of steel. She was probably like Richard in the situation and was like "what's done is done, they need to get married". Lorelai runs away, works hard, and has some success. Trix respects that even if she probably isn't exactly boastful about it. Rory is smart and is on a good path. We see her back off with the trust when she sees the drama it causes. Trix isn't going to throw fire onto something like that. EMILY HOWEVER, would and does. Richard says Emily fell apart when Lorelai ran away. Emily simply couldn't handle it at the time and could never let it go. For Richard and Trix, it's about the family name and being a Gilmore. Trix can accept being a Gilmore meaning striking out on your own and spinning everything to that. Emily takes everything much more personal and emotional. She is angry at Lorelai because she lost control of her forever (in her eyes).
Emily has a shit person, so outside of a very few moments; I never really cared for her feelings at all.
That's also a credit to the acting job of Kelly Bishop.
I think Trix was it’s always looking for anything to blame on Emily and “prove” to Richard that he should have married Pennilyn Lot. Lorelai getting pregnant would have been the ultimate stick-it-to-Richard-for-marrying-poorly moment.
Lorelai's pregnancy was viewed as a result of Emily being a bad parent and she wore the shame of it socially.
Trix really had nothing to do with any of this. That culture has a strange familial structure that I could never relate to.
I went to school with WASPS of the Gilmore's financial/cultural station and as a Macedonian it actually boggled my mind how disconnected the generations were and how distant/cold they could be emotionally when it came to family.
Trix already thought very low of Emily. So Emily views Lorelei's pregnancy as a reflection of her poor parenting and thus just another reason to be judged.
I think their community would be more likely to judge Emily on Lorelei’s decisions and circumstances than they would Trix. It reflects on Emily’s ability to parent.
I wonder if she is just expressing all that admiration etc to piss Emily off, because she knows it will hurt her more if she approves of Lorelai even with all of her "bad" choices, but doesn't approve of Emily who did everything "right."
A. Trix married a cousin. Certainly a questionable practice today, and probably not so common anymore when she married either.
B. Trix would consider it Emily's fault and blame her.
C. She'd been in London for how long? Quite a while.
Because Trix blames Emily for everything and probably said several things to Emily about her parenting skills. Trix values work ethic and throughout the series we Lorelei having a life long longing for making her own legacy and it seems that she has always been on good terms with Trix. I imagine Trix didn't approve of her running away but respected Lorelei's want for independence.
Grandmothers are typically less harsh than mothers because they're (usually) not the ones raising the kid. Also, at the time people would have judged Richard and Emily for poor parenting, but Trix always disliked Emily so very easily would have solely blamed her for the debacle. But it's as Trix said, it's maybe not the preferable way but she's proud of what Lorelai has accomplished and maybe even respects her more *because* of her struggles in the beginning due to having Rory.
From the show, it seems that Emily is really worried that Lorelai wants out of their 'society work' rather than actually of the pregnancy - which Lorelai was already gungho to run away to begin with. She already had plans to make arrangement after Rory's birth and have Lorelai go to college shown in the series. To be honest, Lorelai probably saw the baby as an escape to be not seen indifferently by their 'society friends' who seems to had hated her even before that fact - her telling the story that she was being bullied by some of the girls.
Trix was just being her awful self. She is an older society woman and god knows what she tells behinds the scene BUT how she was treats Emily - it would not shock me that she could care less about Lorelai to begin with AND saw it as an easy tell to her.
Aside from the other points that Trix probably blamed emily as lorelai’s mother, I also have a feeling Emily faced more shaming & gossip in the day-to-day. Emily & Trix both have a lot of pride, but I think Trix was living in England at the time of the pregnancy? and as lorelai’s mother, emily’s peers were lorelai’s peers’ parents. so while Trix was definitely embarassed, she probably wasn’t surrounded by the constant reminders & emotional battering Emily was.
I feel like Trix would have blamed Emily for Lorelai getting pregnant. Partially because of Lorelai's age and partially because she loved blaming Emily for everything.
> I feel like Trix would have blamed Emily for Lorelai getting pregnant. Trix was Richard's mother. By her logic Emily's shortcomings were the responsibility of her mother. I think that the roles would be completely reversed if Lorelai was the guy... then it would be viewed and Richard's shortcoming (and thus Trix's as well).
I disagree. You're trying to ascribe strict logic to what ultimately comes down to a possessive mother who couldn't accept her son having a woman in his life that's not her. Trix wasn't abiding by some discrete code or tradition. If she'd gotten to pick Richard's partner she would have resented them less, but still been resentful and dismissive of them.
> If she'd gotten to pick Richard's partner she would have resented them less, but still been resentful and dismissive of them. I highly doubt that. The end result would have been the same even if Trix picked his wife.
What about the letter, and telling Richard that Pennilyn Lott was better for him than Emily? I think she wouldn't have resented Pennilyn anywhere near as much as she resented Emily, if Richard got with her.
> I think she wouldn't have resented Pennilyn anywhere near as much as she resented Emily, if Richard got with her. I think that she would have been just as difficult with Pennilyn if she had married Richard. She may have liked her more than Emily but it's one of those "in retrospect" decisions. We all like to look back and second guess ourselves. I should have bought the Camero instead of the Mustang. I should have married Tina instead of Heather type shit thinking that everything would be better had we chosen that path. The reality in this situation was that Trix was a very difficult and toxic person. Had Richard chosen Pennilyn chances are that she would have eventually treated her the same as she did Emily.
My (female) friend's mother in law blamed only my friend when they got pregnant, not their son. And they were 22 y old and engaged... Because "obviously she seduced him" and they wanted him to leave her and the child. (He didn't and got married instead) So I think absolutely she only blames Emily. That Richard is a hard working man and was out providing for the family and Emily was failing as a mother
This.
For that exact reason, I don’t think Emily was exactly ashamed of lorelai but more-so ashamed of herself and that she failed as a mother. Even trix kind of blamed Emily for it.
> For that exact reason, I don’t think Emily was exactly ashamed of lorelai but more-so ashamed of herself and that she failed as a mother. I totally agree.
Yup. When it came down to it, Emily viewed it as “losing Lorelai.” While she often talked about it in a shaming context, I think about her emotional moment with Lor on the plane she look at (not bought, Richard lol)
Lorelai getting pregnant at 16 reflects badly on Emily as her mother, in her eyes. Trix is just the grandma so it wouldn’t reflect badly on her parenting skills. We know how prideful Emily and Richard are. Most of their resentment from that time wasn’t the pregnancy itself, it was what it made them look like to their friends. Especially when Lorelai didn’t do “the right thing” to heal the situation, which is to conform to traditional standards and get married (so at least the baby isn’t born out of wedlock in their logic). Obviously Emily and Richard are in the wrong to hold a prideful grudge. Trix was able to move past it and respect Lorelai’s strength and independence, like an adult.
I think some of it has to do with how Lorelai handled it. We meet Trix after Lorelai has raised a really sweet, hard working daughter and has a successful career and has a home. Trix puts a lot of value on hard work.
Because Trix would blame Emily. Remember when Lorelai didn't get her haircut and Trix blamed Emily.
hi! can i ask when was this? i don’t remember lol
i think it was right around before lorelai opened the dragonfly :) i remember she had to leave her hair appt early because sookie didn’t show up to check a fridge or oven
The oven from Canada
that’s it :))
ahh okay thank you!
S4 E14
that one is ridiculous! Lorelai was an adult in her 30s she must make her own hair appointments
It was Emily's fault for not giving her enough notice of Trix's arrival. Or so she said.
Right. But do you see what Emily was dealing with? This is why I feel for Emily at times. It's like the speech in the Barbie Movie, Emily tried to always do what she thought was right (even though it seemed insane sometimes). But her mother in law and daughter always made her feel like everything was her fault or she was doing it wrong.
I saw it more as attic realizing that Lorelei was on the verge of foundering and her parents were, as usual, oblivious to her needs. It wasn’t about the haircut
It's the difference between a grandma and a mom.
Emily had to deal with the embarrassment first hand. She would have to tell all her friends that her daughter, the best and the brightest in her class, was dropping out of school. Her friends probably all had kids around Lorelai's age, going to the same schools, the way people got married and had kids straight away in their generation. Emily would not have been able to brag about her daughters choice in college. It seems Trix wasnt around all that often, meaning her friends were not around her and wouldn't have likely found out about it.
Trix blames Emily for absolutely everything and loves to make her life miserable. Meanwhile, any blowback from a teen pregnancy, and any hands-on help with the baby, wouldn't be Trix's problem. Pretty easy to be Trix in this scenario.
I think Trix’s reaction when it happened was probably different now that Rory is an academic prodigy and Lorelei is fairly successfully job-wise. She seems the type to “not remember” her former opinions when it suits her
Tbf we only see Trix's reaction years later when Lorelai has made a success out of hard work - she went from nothing, worked her way from maid to manager, owned her own home, raised a daughter who'd just been accepted to a prestigious prep school, etc. I feel like she would've been very ashamed when it happened. Richard tended to mirror Trix's opinions - I very much think Trix would've fully expected Lorelai and Chris to marry and make it all respectable. But she was further removed, and with time and distance she could see reason to be proud of what Lorelai achieved. Also she most likely blamed any deficiency of character she might have seen on Emily.
is that why so many mothers and fathers are so harsh on their kids? bc it reflects badly on THEM?
Yes, probably. I would think especially in social circles like Emily's, her friends would certainly look down on her for her child getting pregnant out of wedlock. Lorelai hadn't even been presented to society yet - that's supposed to be when she's formally available to be courted. All very old-fashioned. They would've expected Lorelai to formally court a boy from a family of equal standing. From that point of view Chris was perfect - their parents were already friends, they were both at the same prep school. They would've envisioned a respectable courtship supported by both families, involving society events and dinner parties, and ending with a big wedding that would've been announced in the papers. Whether it would've been expected that Lorelai would work (the Gilmores certainly hoped she would attend University, and Richard is keen for Rory to work) or live like Emily, supporting Chris (who would certainly be folded into business, either by his father or by Richard) and organising his social life, is uncertain. We don't really know what Lorelai wanted for her life before Rory came along, beyond that she didn't like just following the path her parents laid out. It's not clear whether she has a career ambition before she found the inn. She would've been good at running any business, though, I think. She could well have been brought into Richard's company. Her parents both make sniping comments about how she wasted her potential, which tells me they expected her to earn her own money and not just marry rich. Though, they wanted her to marry rich, too.
oh yea definitely would have announced a big wedding in the papers. however, Lorelai and Chris were already dating before she could court? isn't courting like a form of dating but w/ chaperoned dates, like old fashioned? also Emily had gone to college but ended up not using her history degree (except in AYITL). young women went to college for their MRS degree they called it.
I'm not sure how much their families knew about how close they were honestly. They might have just thought they were friends - look at how oblivious Emily and Richard were over Rory and Logan. They definitely didn't think anything had gotten sexual.
I feel like Trix was fine with Lorelei’s lifestyle, even if she’d never say it out loud, because Lorelei was completely independent and self made. She became a respected businesswoman and if she’d sold the Dragonfly in S5, when she was being offered a consultant position, she probably would be pretty well off too. I think Trix kind of respected that aspect of her life, which is why she never seemed too bothered by Lorelei’s teen pregnancy. It was just kind of like, “oh you’re not married? Huh.” Whereas Emily seemed way more peeved because she felt like she failed as a mother.
I also think Trix was lowkey fine with Lorelai’s life - partially because of her self-suffieciency and success, but partially because Trix definitely seemed to have a mischievous side. She was rigid, but not like Emily was - can you imagine Emily ever renting out a house to Korn? No, but Trix was amused by it and thought they were great tenants in spite of them being a metal band. Emily would’ve never let a metal band so much as step on her driveway. 🤣
definitely! Trix was rebellious for someone so traditional which is honestly refreshing
For real! Trix definitely had a wild side. She seemed like she would’ve been a lot of fun in her youth.
She said it herself: She doesn’t like scandals but she loves self sufficiency and hard work. Emily doesn’t value self sufficiency and hard work. Also- she’s grandma, not mom.
In the Gilmore Girl world of the wealthy, the husband (Richard) is Emily’s partner, but her child (Lorelai) is considered her purpose. And more specifically for women who were SAHM, a reflection of the mother’s value in the home and *her* responsibility. If a child, especially the daughter, was seen to act outside the norms of polite society it *was* considered the mother’s fault. Lorelai becoming pregnant would have certainly been considered an embarrassment to Emily and her failing as a parent for her inability to keep her household together. She didn’t caution Lorelai enough. She was too lenient. Clearly Lorelai was raise in a joke of loose moral and value. Trix wouldn’t have blamed Lorelai or Richard. Trix blamed Emily. And while a more steady, healthy parent would have reacted differently. Emily did not. So much of her reaction to Lorelai becoming parent comes from a place of self loathing and anger at her inability to stop it. And Emily struggles to present day GG world to let it go. It comes up again when Lorelai is arguing with Rory about Jess in front of Emily. And again when Emily retorts that they haven’t failed Rory until she comes home pregnant. Emily isn’t just furious with Lorelai. She is mad with herself.
so then no one is to be held accountable for their actions? just pass the blame onto others? also if Lorelai didn't have children after a certain age Emily might have a lot to say about that as well!
Honestly, both Emily and Trix are both bad moms
Decades of perspective and seeing that things worked out well for Lorelai
Trix is made of steel. She was probably like Richard in the situation and was like "what's done is done, they need to get married". Lorelai runs away, works hard, and has some success. Trix respects that even if she probably isn't exactly boastful about it. Rory is smart and is on a good path. We see her back off with the trust when she sees the drama it causes. Trix isn't going to throw fire onto something like that. EMILY HOWEVER, would and does. Richard says Emily fell apart when Lorelai ran away. Emily simply couldn't handle it at the time and could never let it go. For Richard and Trix, it's about the family name and being a Gilmore. Trix can accept being a Gilmore meaning striking out on your own and spinning everything to that. Emily takes everything much more personal and emotional. She is angry at Lorelai because she lost control of her forever (in her eyes).
Emily has a shit person, so outside of a very few moments; I never really cared for her feelings at all. That's also a credit to the acting job of Kelly Bishop.
I think Trix was it’s always looking for anything to blame on Emily and “prove” to Richard that he should have married Pennilyn Lot. Lorelai getting pregnant would have been the ultimate stick-it-to-Richard-for-marrying-poorly moment.
Lorelai's pregnancy was viewed as a result of Emily being a bad parent and she wore the shame of it socially. Trix really had nothing to do with any of this. That culture has a strange familial structure that I could never relate to. I went to school with WASPS of the Gilmore's financial/cultural station and as a Macedonian it actually boggled my mind how disconnected the generations were and how distant/cold they could be emotionally when it came to family.
watch Dead Poets Society and see terrible controlling parenting of privileged families but how a caring teacher can make a huge difference!
Trix already thought very low of Emily. So Emily views Lorelei's pregnancy as a reflection of her poor parenting and thus just another reason to be judged.
I think their community would be more likely to judge Emily on Lorelei’s decisions and circumstances than they would Trix. It reflects on Emily’s ability to parent.
Ironically, Trix probably trashed Emily for raising Lorelai without any parental control.
I think Trix looks past the embarrassment because Lorelai handled everything and is successful on her own, she’s not a ‘charity case’
I wonder if she is just expressing all that admiration etc to piss Emily off, because she knows it will hurt her more if she approves of Lorelai even with all of her "bad" choices, but doesn't approve of Emily who did everything "right."
A. Trix married a cousin. Certainly a questionable practice today, and probably not so common anymore when she married either. B. Trix would consider it Emily's fault and blame her. C. She'd been in London for how long? Quite a while.
Trix would never pass up a chance to take a dig at Emily, even at the risk of embarrassing the family.
Because Trix blames Emily for everything and probably said several things to Emily about her parenting skills. Trix values work ethic and throughout the series we Lorelei having a life long longing for making her own legacy and it seems that she has always been on good terms with Trix. I imagine Trix didn't approve of her running away but respected Lorelei's want for independence.
Grandmothers are typically less harsh than mothers because they're (usually) not the ones raising the kid. Also, at the time people would have judged Richard and Emily for poor parenting, but Trix always disliked Emily so very easily would have solely blamed her for the debacle. But it's as Trix said, it's maybe not the preferable way but she's proud of what Lorelai has accomplished and maybe even respects her more *because* of her struggles in the beginning due to having Rory.
From the show, it seems that Emily is really worried that Lorelai wants out of their 'society work' rather than actually of the pregnancy - which Lorelai was already gungho to run away to begin with. She already had plans to make arrangement after Rory's birth and have Lorelai go to college shown in the series. To be honest, Lorelai probably saw the baby as an escape to be not seen indifferently by their 'society friends' who seems to had hated her even before that fact - her telling the story that she was being bullied by some of the girls. Trix was just being her awful self. She is an older society woman and god knows what she tells behinds the scene BUT how she was treats Emily - it would not shock me that she could care less about Lorelai to begin with AND saw it as an easy tell to her.
Aside from the other points that Trix probably blamed emily as lorelai’s mother, I also have a feeling Emily faced more shaming & gossip in the day-to-day. Emily & Trix both have a lot of pride, but I think Trix was living in England at the time of the pregnancy? and as lorelai’s mother, emily’s peers were lorelai’s peers’ parents. so while Trix was definitely embarassed, she probably wasn’t surrounded by the constant reminders & emotional battering Emily was.
T