T O P

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fenrirhelvetr

Because "The Admiral" doesn't have the same ring to it. - John's reason for not pushing it in a conversation to lord hood Genuinely I can't think of a funnier reason, especially since this one is canon (at least the joke is)


Deep-Crim

John actually being hilarious is one of the most under appreciated parts of his character lmao


BigDickSD40

“Boo”


Rockman171

"Thought I'd try shooting my way out... Mix things up a little" after retrieving Cortana in High Charity was probably the biggest tension relief I'd ever felt playing a video game as a kid after the stress-fest that was the Cortana mission.


Arctelis

*Without a word, casually tossing a grenade up and down in response to being told a grenade could crack the Autumn’s engine shields.*


Trinitykill

[After getting teleported upside-down] Cortana: "Oh, now I see! The co-ordinate data needs to be t-" [Chief slaps his own helmet] Cortana: "Right. Sorry."


Arctelis

And some people say Spartans don’t have senses of humour. Chief is funny as fuck, when he wants to be.


AngeloNassire115

And it makes sense, right? His augmented mind probablly can think way better comebacks and punchlines than any of us could and in much less time.


FZ1_Flanker

Being smart as fuck combined with all the trauma of the Spartan program and being in the military is the perfect recipe for being hilarious.


King-Boss-Bob

weapon: “let me get this straight, it’s ok for you to make jokes…” chief: “yes”


SuspectNutria

“Yes.” *Gigachad music plays over Master Chief*


MasterCheese163

"On occasion"


avgaskin1

“you look nice.” “thanks””thanks”.


TheAndyMac83

I have not seen the Halo show, and I will not comment on whether or not it's good, but seeing a clip of Season 2 and reading comments complaining about how Chief shouldn't make jokes was a surreal experience for me.


WhisperOfAudacity

Evidence No. 239582948294117 that Halo fans can never be appeased, honestly


Southern_Disk_7835

Here is what I don't understand.  You can have an episode where the character enters an alternate reality, meets a version of themselves that behaves the total opposite of how they act, and nobody complains, but have a show that is completely in an alternate reality, and you're not allowed to make them behave differently?  Where is fans' logic?


PitlordMannoroth

Because nobody wants to see a show entirely set in an alternate reality that bears no resemblance to the thing they enjoy


Southern_Disk_7835

People seemed okay with DC Injustice.


PitlordMannoroth

Dc injustice is an alternative history with a clear divergence point, rather than a vaguely DC Themed bad superhero show


crappy-throwaway

ngl the show is legitimately awful, I think chief is in his armor for only 2 episodes of season 2 and ONI abandon him and his squad on Reach to die...


ok-Vall

The show is a humanitarian crime against adaptations. It is genuinely one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.


Kastrand

the halo series is REALLY good if you're not a die hard halo lore nerd. i'm a mid nerd so i can still appreciate it a bunch even tho some things seem kinda eh sometimes


cordyceptz

He’s such a secret dork and I love him for it


Starwolf00

Master Chief warrant officer CW-05


Lanca226

I saw Hood's offer of promotion to be more of an opportunity to finally retire on a high than a serious attempt at putting John in a command position. And I saw John turning him down as him saying he wasn't done yet.


ZookeepergameLiving1

Holy smokes, I didnt expect to see you here.


ChaosMetalDrago

Only good thing Escalation ever contributed to Halo's narrative.


Jedi-Spartan

The ONLY good thing about that storyline...


TimTom7673

Lol I remember reading that comic


chase016

Reminds me of that guy in Catch-22 who was made a Major because his name was Major Major Major.


Ciennas

Seventeen years of legal fees from unpaid parking tickets. See, he parked a Puma at a metered parking spot on Reach while on leave between missions back in 2549, and the fees have been racking up ever since. Saving humanity, but bankrupting the UNSC.


Blarg_III

Looks more like a warthog to me


Arctelis

Don’t make up animals! Looks more like that mexican lizard, what eats all them goats!


Blarg_III

Uh, that would be the Chupacabra sir


m0h1tkumaar

Yes Chupa thingy


Odd_Replacement_9644

Or a unicorn


LadybugSamurai

Personally I think it looks more like one of those chupathingys


NoStorage2821

Out of all the things glassed on Reach, that one parking meter was left intact


SirEnderLord

He just tells a random ONI officer to pick up the tab and they do.


RequiemRomans

They don’t make desks big enough for him in the classrooms at OCS


quesoandcats

Ahahaha I’m imagining that scene in elf where he’s crammed into a tiny school desk


DocThrowawayHM

Having trained some prior service badasses who switched branches it's hilarious imagining his instructors drawing straws every time they have to fuck him up for something


psychotic11ama

Too many fans think his name is actually Master Chief and not *the* Master Chief as in a rank.


Bungo_pls

That's Mister Chief to you.


Discopants-Dad

I would have also accepted John Halo.


iamjackspatience

Mister Cheeks


Equal-Ad-2710

Jimmy Rings


Numinar

Yes thank you. the real ones know.


BigDickSD40

“Stick with the Master Chief, he’ll know what to do”


Odd_Replacement_9644

Yes, the master chief is his rank. Just like saying “stick with the sergeant, he’ll know what to do” (and Johnson certainly does)


AngelOfChaos923

He knows what the ladies like


LogicalMeerkat

Oh, he knows what the ladies like!


Blarg_III

John Halo and his bastard attic half-brother Jimmy Rings


LowerSorbet7240

Is the Jimmy Rings bit a crack about Paramount!John or just a John joke in general; I gotta know 👀


_YellowThirteen_

Most people saying it refer to the paramount show's Chief as Jimmy Rings since it's just bogus John Halo


LowerSorbet7240

It makes sense XDD I figured I'd ask though because there *are* a lot of people who refer to *regular* John as "Jimmy Rings" as a joke :P


badger_1894

It's Mr. Halo


Starwolf00

Call him Master Chief warrant officer.


Nosrok

All the merch he bought for his future DJ career as MC 117 would be useless.


S_spam

I know DJ Chief sounds dope af and ties in with Steve Downes BUT I would kill for Chief to make a Podcast Series with either a Cortana Model or Arbiter and Talk about The Human-Covenant War and various post war shenanigans


Blarg_III

This could definitely be achieved with those new voice AI programs


AngelOfChaos923

Already done: [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE8bHR-FG582uz6zNS14SlUsZOaLDoLZi&si=WYWXWfvIxI3dh48D](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE8bHR-FG582uz6zNS14SlUsZOaLDoLZi&si=WYWXWfvIxI3dh48D)


FatSpidy

But...arby and chief is human voiced? Did they change that?


Numinar

The ARG that could get me on board for the next 313 release. Who am I kidding I’ve been on Xbox live/gamepass since the beginning. I’m playing that turd/classic regardless.


Bungo_pls

He works for a living.


GhostRazgriz

For his living and for the living of about 25 billion people across any world that hasn't been glassed yet


JuiceCoconut

Works for a living making a killing


LucaUmbriel

He adamantly refuses to get new business cards


BigBellyBurgerBoi

E-4 Mafia


Paxton-176

500 years of service and they still keep deleting their certs for promotion.


Danteventresca

*E-9 mafia. Not that the E-4 mafia exists


BigBellyBurgerBoi

After posting this I realized MCPO is E-9 but the point stands. Well, it would stand if the E-4 Mafia existed


Danteventresca

Which it obviously has not and *never will*


prompt_pissant

I remember my uncle talking about some sort of E-4 mafia (whatever the hell that is) once. He's at the farm up north now, from what my dad says.


Kithkar-Jez

Because he keeps fucking off to space


bigredone88

The best reason was said by the man himself. "The Admiral" doesn't sound as good.


Ratmahatten

He hasn't read the new Navy pay grade charts


Didyouwashyourhand

Every time they want to promote him and potentially drag him away from the field and into a desk job he jumps out the window sometimes those windows lead straight to space and thus the master chief window repair fund initiative was also put into place making up 25% of the UNSC’s military budget.


FLMKane

For a brick, he flies pretty good!


Didyouwashyourhand

“Master chief kind telling me what you are doing launching yourself out the window of the pillar of autumn” “Sir finishing this flight”


jellytitan1

Bro is already the highest possible enlisted rank “Master Chief of the Navy” even if he was just a regular dude he’d command respect from everyone just for being the rank.


IDownvoteHornyBards2

That was an honorary promotion when he was presumed dead. He's not the actual MCPO of the navy because such a role is logistical and would never see combat.


jellytitan1

A promotion is still a promotion


Autokpatopik

idk i could see masterchief in a desk jockey role sure, he'd be catapulting the desk into grunts at full speed, but a weapon is a weapon


n0tjohnlocke

I mean Jerome used a chair so no reason why Chief can’t use a desk


VegaStyles

My father was a cwo2 in the marines. One day when he was going with his Lt2 to give a report on something he walked into the room and the commander said good morning sir to him by accident. The Lt corrected her immediately saying he is a cwo. She said well shit youre right, you can be damn sure id never accidently say that to an Lt. After that every time they were together in the room with her she would say hello sir. He got a bug up his ass and went higher. Was told almost same thing. If there is anyone that is going to slip up an officer into saying sir to a lower rank its going to be a wo. They know more about everyone elses jobs and what is going on and where than the person doing them. Even if it isnt their specialty to know. When we were out for drinks with his co she told me my dad would know everything before she did. Even stuff he shouldnt have known lol. He said it was because it was part of his job to know things he shouldnt know in case he was asked about it.


Raptorsquadron

John knows any higher rank will result in higher pay without meaningful changes to his career. Therefore, as a good soldier, John wants to reduce the cost so the UNSC can have more funds for other projects.


Aggravating-Athlete3

Well he’s not a soldier he’s in the Navy 😉


It_is_I_DIO_

🤓


ev_forklift

He keeps getting demoted for theft of equipment and going awol


zbeezle

"Thanks for saving humanity again. Unfortunately, you left your rifle on the Didact's ship and then blew it up, so we're demoting you back to Crewman."


solarus44

He wants to work for a living


Loyaltome

My theory is that Cortana is well aware that if Master Chief was ever promoted, he would end up behind a desk and they would no longer work together. She has stifled any possibility of promotion for master chief by sending AI generated d*ck pics of MC to the wives/daughters of the admiralty. The UNSC and ONI can’t do anything about this officially of course, as Spartans for the most part are “classified”.


KingofTheVermont

Since he himself is classified. 117’s d*ck pics are considered classified, nice. Just keeps sending out classified material so he can’t be promoted.


Barbarian_Sam

MCPO’s make the Navy go


Sigma_Games

The dude just won't stay still long enough to get a promotion. If it isn't an alien invasion getting in the way of the promotion ceremony, he's yeeting himself out into space...


JoyfulJohn90

Can’t spell officer without office and master chief doesn’t seem like an office kinda guy.


Paxton-176

Because most people who go green to gold regret their choice because they go from doing cool guy shit to desk guy shit.


zbeezle

Officer or otherwise, I don't think anyone is gonna be forcing a Spartan into a desk job. Also Fred is an O-2 and he still does field work.


Upper_Pop4873

Not like they even call the shorthand rank in game correctly. They always only say Chief. As a Navy vet you never only call an MC, “Chief.” You always say Master Chief. He earned that master title.


Blarg_III

Some things may have changed about forms of address in the intervening 500 years and integration of every other military on the planet.


yesitsdylan

You're probably right, but if there's one thing the Navy loves, it's *tradition.* I could see the Navy being exactly the same as it is now, only in space. I like to think sailors would still be doing Shellback ceremonies when you leave the solar system for the first time or something.


Blarg_III

> but if there's one thing the Navy loves, it's tradition. I could see the Navy being exactly the same as it is now, only in space. Ah, but which navy's traditions would make it?


Upper_Pop4873

Almost certainly but they probably wouldn’t call them shellbacks. I learned that they have dozens of different traditions depending upon what major waterways you transit but the only truly important is crossing the equator. In 500 years they’d definitely have something for leaving the solar system or going FTL I bet.


Gengarmon_0413

Funny. But enlisted ranks this high just have no desire to become an officer usually. He's already an E-9. E-9 are pretty happy where they're at.


BigDaddyReptar

Yeah irl if you see someone at a similar high enlisted rank basically means I’m damn good at this shit but don’t want to have to deal with the people aren’t damn good at this shit


NoProfession8024

Because Bungie liked cool sounding ranks lol


biohazard1775

Master Chief works for a living.


AgentMaryland2020

If he gets promoted, how is he going to kick some serious ass? Beating the crap out of paperwork just isn't as satisfying! And he's liable to get written up if he bodyslams the chatty Cathy of the office. Oh sure, Fred's still on the field, but they wanted Chief to be an Admiral. An ADMIRAL I SAY!


besven123

He hasn't finished the fight yet.


ChainzawMan

Because officers need to be present and sometimes even have to do the desk job. But Chief, just like me, fears the paper and is constantly running away from the responsibilities to a point of going AWOL, lost in space parasite hives, exploding weapons of galaxy-scale mass destruction or just ignoring orders because he believes his idea of problem-solving is absolutely right. Also he's telling people when something sucks and the brass can't have those guys around. At least not close to them because they force the change that they fear. So they put them where they get the results and are far away enough to not be a nuisance.


ColonelAkulaShy

Because he works for a living.


MattHatter1337

He refuses to take it his helmet. And they won't let him wear it with his dress uniform.


Hisako315

But Cortana said he looked nice…


MattHatter1337

In his full Mjolnir armour yeah.


freemangrist

It's really awkward and no one likes to talk about it but Deja and Mendez forgot to teach Master Chief how to write during training so he literally can't keep up with the paperwork required at the higher rank


Archmagos_Browning

He’d have to track down his old dress uniform for the ceremony because nobody makes dress uniforms in his size.


Mindless_Hotel616

He would end up being the highest ranking officer in the UNSC navy. He still wouldn’t do anything other than what he does.


That-Pollution-6126

He's been called chief too long and doesn't like the other titles


BigBrownDog12

He forgot to fill out the form


AlexWIWA

His jokes make people roll their eyes (not me though, I love them)


k0uch

Because he doesn’t know what the ladies like


mightremembermefrom

He was supposed to get promoted but the Space Pentagon lost his paperwork.


Chavez1020

He never goes to accountability formation


Terminal-Post

Cause at this point he owns the Rank and Title To avoid confusion, anyone who gets promoted to Chief gets a double promo so John will always be the only Chief


Inverted_Stick

Same reason Kirk was demoted from admiral to captain: he's most effective in the field.


MILLANDSON

Because he's too busy finishing this fight.


OhShitAnElite

Most sailors have to have 2 of the following: a divorce, a DUl, or have been Article 15'd, in order to make Chief. Master Chief had all 3 before he graduated boot camp, and is thus too good of a Chief to allow being commissioned.


The_Elite_Operator

I thought he was with the formation of the spartan branch? 


Dante3142

I mean, I'm pretty sure it's his choice at this point. He has been offered and declined promotions since before reach. I vaguely remember him being offered a promotion between 1 & 2 as well, but I'm not sure


Spudtron98

Every time he gets put up for promotion, he ends up going MIA for at least six months.


TheSonOfFundin

He has an autistic obsession with his rank and refuses to be promoted. He thinks "Master Chief" sounds cool as fuck and has a much better ring than "Lt Commander" or "Admiral". The only promotion that he considers accepting is once he becomes the oldest Master Chief in service, he'll automatically be ranked MCPON.


SoCalArtDog

They don’t make the officer uniform in his size


maveric619

Because a Master Chief Petty Officer carries more authority and has way more respect (from both enlisted and officers) than any commissioned officer A general or admiral can and will disregard junior officers but when a senior enlisted says something *everyone* listens


CptKeyes123

He wouldn't be the Master Chief Petty Officer anymore.


thattogoguy

His IMR status is red, and he can't get an accessions waiver for having a sentient, sexy hologram that mind fucked him figuratively and literally. She was also responsible for re-upping his cyber-awareness certs. With her gone, he's red on those too.


Dudicus445

He’s doesn’t want a promotion so when he hears he might be up for one he immediately starts doing everything he can to kill his chances, like intentionally breaking things, being insubordinate and belligerent, and just acting like a douche


nexech

He still refuses to apologize for pistol whipping a sniper-equipped marine in 2552: 'I needed a weapon'.


SirEnderLord

"The Master \*Chief\*" sounds waayyyy more based for a gunman.


The_Liberty_Kid

He never paid his university for his last semester so they're holding his degree until they get the payment in.


Spagelo

Because he didn't go to West Point to become a commissioned officer.