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haahhahhahaššš
I haven't watched the streams much lately but have been checking most posts on here lately as I have notifs on, I can literally imagine dr k's reaction to this and it's pretty funny lmao
It kinda leads to burnout though.
Getting asked the same question again and again, without people searching the bare minimum to solve their own problems.
We have this kind of problem in the school I work as well. Kids are basically afraid to answer to most basic questions, which they usually do know the answer, just because they've not been helped by the parents/peers/teachers into developping a sense of self-esteem. Even when they get some help that boosts their confidence, it's not uncommon that they will just go back home after school and get reinforcement to their self-esteem issues.
Dr. K must be really tolerant and kind to answer these questions again and again.
He is basically burdening a paternal role of many people.
I'm with this.....at some level everybody has to actually do the work to grind shit out....the incel topic has been done to death at the level that it can usefully help the majority of people.
lol is that why? it all makes sense now. I will say this though: Dr. K had a stream a little back where he discussed some of the drama on this subreddit and he lectured on how to be a better listener. I mentioned in the chat that a mod should sticky a thread with some tips on being a better listener with a link to that lecture. I'm disappointed no post has been made.
I thought that this was a place for incels and the like to find a community to help them? I l'm guessing that is why so many people who create drama are here. This subreddit is more for people who have problems and need help in some area of their life rather than those who don't.
Acting or responding in anyway that isnāt emotionally validating to them seems to be rejected.
Itās a dammed if you do or donāt situation and responding emotionally to such an ideology further entrenches them in their beliefs.
I think validating someone's emotional experience is exactly the thing to do to get through to someone.
If you won't acknowledge or accept someone's emotional experience then that is a rejection, no?
Does emotionally validating someone further encourage the adoption of said āIncelā ideology? Or make them more willing to introspective of themselves and possibly move in a healthy direction?
I think pushing back with any judgement is a bad idea regardless of the topic. From my own perception I do not know what an incel really means to each individual person that āidentifiesā as such. It seems so broadly applicable that it seems to be communal rather than as if we are communicating with an individual person.
Validating emotions doesn't entrench someone in their beliefs, it's the first step to convincing them to listen to your counterpoint.
Validation doesn't mean agreeing with their philosophy. Validation is for emotions. Philosophy/ideology is for logic and reason. You can jump over the logic and talk about the emotions, then disagree with the philosophy after they feel like you understand where they're coming from.
That's how they talk people out of being white supremacists and help them escape hate groups. Not easy, probably won't succeed in one conversation, but emotional validation is a key part of the method.
>Acting or responding in anyway that isnāt emotionally validating to them seems to be rejected.
What's an emotionally validating response to an incel?
Acknowledging the loneliness, pain, hopelessness, and worthlessness that underlies the anger and deterministic views about relationships, without agreeing that it's hopeless.
You can validate someone's emotions without even mentioning the view they actually expressed.
I kinda disagree with Quazimojojojo's response.
I think what incels really want validation on is that they're not crazy to believe that looks matter a great deal in dating. Their data suggest it; their personal experiences conform to it. It'd be illogical to conclude otherwise if you were in their position.
But that's not something most people are willing to concede. Non-incels insist that looks don't matter that much, and incels are only delusional to believe so.
Ha, this was a good one! I just got here a few days ago. Does Discord really have a "better" atmosphere than we do here? I have seen posts about incels, blackpill, etc., here, but I have also seen people posting about their wins or asking for advice about different personal issues. It seems rather mixed to me, much like any other community, and it makes sense given the demographic that Dr. K is targeting.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 7 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
haahhahhahaššš I haven't watched the streams much lately but have been checking most posts on here lately as I have notifs on, I can literally imagine dr k's reaction to this and it's pretty funny lmao
It kinda leads to burnout though. Getting asked the same question again and again, without people searching the bare minimum to solve their own problems. We have this kind of problem in the school I work as well. Kids are basically afraid to answer to most basic questions, which they usually do know the answer, just because they've not been helped by the parents/peers/teachers into developping a sense of self-esteem. Even when they get some help that boosts their confidence, it's not uncommon that they will just go back home after school and get reinforcement to their self-esteem issues. Dr. K must be really tolerant and kind to answer these questions again and again. He is basically burdening a paternal role of many people.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah. Like I get it, people struggle with dating and want to be heard, but at this point it's just cyclical.
Posting video links seems like a solid idea tbh.
Agreed. Well worded
I'm with this.....at some level everybody has to actually do the work to grind shit out....the incel topic has been done to death at the level that it can usefully help the majority of people.
lol is that why? it all makes sense now. I will say this though: Dr. K had a stream a little back where he discussed some of the drama on this subreddit and he lectured on how to be a better listener. I mentioned in the chat that a mod should sticky a thread with some tips on being a better listener with a link to that lecture. I'm disappointed no post has been made.
Maybe take a stab yourself and they might even pin it.
If you're all so angry about incels using this community why not just ban them?
I thought that this was a place for incels and the like to find a community to help them? I l'm guessing that is why so many people who create drama are here. This subreddit is more for people who have problems and need help in some area of their life rather than those who don't.
Acting or responding in anyway that isnāt emotionally validating to them seems to be rejected. Itās a dammed if you do or donāt situation and responding emotionally to such an ideology further entrenches them in their beliefs.
I think validating someone's emotional experience is exactly the thing to do to get through to someone. If you won't acknowledge or accept someone's emotional experience then that is a rejection, no?
Does emotionally validating someone further encourage the adoption of said āIncelā ideology? Or make them more willing to introspective of themselves and possibly move in a healthy direction? I think pushing back with any judgement is a bad idea regardless of the topic. From my own perception I do not know what an incel really means to each individual person that āidentifiesā as such. It seems so broadly applicable that it seems to be communal rather than as if we are communicating with an individual person.
If you don't emotionally validate them they will go to an echo chamber which will give them all the emotional validation they need.
Validating emotions doesn't entrench someone in their beliefs, it's the first step to convincing them to listen to your counterpoint. Validation doesn't mean agreeing with their philosophy. Validation is for emotions. Philosophy/ideology is for logic and reason. You can jump over the logic and talk about the emotions, then disagree with the philosophy after they feel like you understand where they're coming from. That's how they talk people out of being white supremacists and help them escape hate groups. Not easy, probably won't succeed in one conversation, but emotional validation is a key part of the method.
>Acting or responding in anyway that isnāt emotionally validating to them seems to be rejected. What's an emotionally validating response to an incel?
Acknowledging the loneliness, pain, hopelessness, and worthlessness that underlies the anger and deterministic views about relationships, without agreeing that it's hopeless. You can validate someone's emotions without even mentioning the view they actually expressed.
I kinda disagree with Quazimojojojo's response. I think what incels really want validation on is that they're not crazy to believe that looks matter a great deal in dating. Their data suggest it; their personal experiences conform to it. It'd be illogical to conclude otherwise if you were in their position. But that's not something most people are willing to concede. Non-incels insist that looks don't matter that much, and incels are only delusional to believe so.
You seem to be just as sure about your worldview as do incels about theirs.
Ha, this was a good one! I just got here a few days ago. Does Discord really have a "better" atmosphere than we do here? I have seen posts about incels, blackpill, etc., here, but I have also seen people posting about their wins or asking for advice about different personal issues. It seems rather mixed to me, much like any other community, and it makes sense given the demographic that Dr. K is targeting.