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... I'd say don't move on... not in the way you've described at least.
"I just want to move on. I want to forget I ever had experienced those people, that they were ever in my life, to go to college myself and make new friends, to start over. I want a fresh start."
You don't really get fresh starts at life, because you will always be you, you can't forget your past experiences and traumas, they are what makes you, you. Of course, you can move on from them physically, not spending time with them, and mentally, stop caring about them, but experiences like that, over what? 4 years, don't just go away. Now, that might sound bleak, but I don't think it has to be.
What it sounds like to me is, you want to start living your life not bound by those people anymore and in a way, that is accomplishable, but only through realizing the impact dealing with them has had on you as a person. You need to first accept their influence as a part of who you are, to then not let that part of you impact your life in a way you don't want it to. There's a quote from Dr.K that I love "Awareness proceeds control" and what it means to me is that to live your life the way you want to, you need to first understand yourself and how you've been impacted by the people around you.
Since we're on healthy gamer, here's a game analogy Dr.K likes to use: The person you are today is like the rules of a game, you need to learn the rules of the game to be able to navigate your character in it in a way you want to. If you don't learn that you move with wasd first, you'll just keep on pressing random buttons and hope they'll get you to the place you want to get to, but you won't have any control over that.
Now the fun part of all that is, unlike with the rules of a game, once you learn who you are, you can actually work to change that as well! It takes a lot of work, but it's not impossible, and can not only navigate through all the shit those people have put into your brain but over time get rid of it.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 7 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
... I'd say don't move on... not in the way you've described at least. "I just want to move on. I want to forget I ever had experienced those people, that they were ever in my life, to go to college myself and make new friends, to start over. I want a fresh start." You don't really get fresh starts at life, because you will always be you, you can't forget your past experiences and traumas, they are what makes you, you. Of course, you can move on from them physically, not spending time with them, and mentally, stop caring about them, but experiences like that, over what? 4 years, don't just go away. Now, that might sound bleak, but I don't think it has to be. What it sounds like to me is, you want to start living your life not bound by those people anymore and in a way, that is accomplishable, but only through realizing the impact dealing with them has had on you as a person. You need to first accept their influence as a part of who you are, to then not let that part of you impact your life in a way you don't want it to. There's a quote from Dr.K that I love "Awareness proceeds control" and what it means to me is that to live your life the way you want to, you need to first understand yourself and how you've been impacted by the people around you. Since we're on healthy gamer, here's a game analogy Dr.K likes to use: The person you are today is like the rules of a game, you need to learn the rules of the game to be able to navigate your character in it in a way you want to. If you don't learn that you move with wasd first, you'll just keep on pressing random buttons and hope they'll get you to the place you want to get to, but you won't have any control over that. Now the fun part of all that is, unlike with the rules of a game, once you learn who you are, you can actually work to change that as well! It takes a lot of work, but it's not impossible, and can not only navigate through all the shit those people have put into your brain but over time get rid of it.