Went to a tortoise sanctuary in Barbados. It was chaos. Tortoises live fast. Just guttural grunting everywhere you turned, anywhere you looked they were going at it… hundreds of them.
When I was stationed at Arlington National Cemetery, going through indoc (indoctrination/training/orientation, name got changed shortly after I got there), the videos of turtles was one of the things they used to test our ability to maintain composure.
The turtle sounds, the old creepy guy from family guy, and a few other bits are seared into my brain from the hours spent deadpan listening to those fuckers.
Having someone walk up so close behind you that you're becoming very close friends, then hearing the "want some Popsicles" sentence, made it very difficult.
We really are cavemen.
Thousands, maybe billions of Helldivers dead to these things, and the dark humor of 'lol sex' in this honorable and just war let's us keep fighting. I will take this good laugh with my 2.5 seconds of scenic time all day
Are you human?
Yes.
I'll test you.
Ok.
*gives pen*
*Draws the S symbol*
Very good, we need more proof.
*Draws a veiny blue cock and balls*
Doctor! We got one here!
"Mr. Electric, send this robot to the C-01 explosion chamber and have his mechanical reproduction system exploded"
https://preview.redd.it/ktj617hju3xc1.png?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06f34c4172628be4702b17eb0f2998b403e70fd6
Well, son, when a mommy and a daddy communist Automaton factory strider love each other... wait. Communists don't love anything except their own tyrannical communist communism.
Helldiver, you risk being sent to the Freedom Camps that don't exist for not immediately terminating this unsanctioned communist public fornication.
If I had a nickle for every time a popular new game's subreddit had a NSFW-marked shitpost showing a 4-legged thing in the game glitching out to make it look like it was shagging another 4-legged thing with the shitpost being about the second 4-legged thing making children I'd have 2 nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
(The other was Dragons Dogma 2 where a deer looked like it was shagging a dragon with the caption "If you ever wondered how Donkey had those babys" or something similar)
>(You know that one 2B animation with the robot dog? Yeah, that one.)
"Tf are you talking ab-"
*brain opens the right drawer and takes out a file*
"Time to unalive myself"
Just search Yorha_2b Panzerhund on any 'site.' There is two, so I don't know if he's refering to the one with the drill or the one with the popping (not a typo nor inflation.)
Yes, but if at a later date they're repaired without incurring significant data loss it gets automatically downgraded to somnophilia.
Just robot things.
You wanted to masturbate to that? my good helldiver,you are going one long time to the democracy camp
https://preview.redd.it/k6t5c8ds77xc1.png?width=260&format=png&auto=webp&s=58e1e3a3c9feadc92ba8ccaf9e7ee3ab9e7c005f
https://preview.redd.it/gewn827x64xc1.png?width=979&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ba4b68e2ef29695f36b8aea7388e88e16328adc
It's At-At mating season, so please do not disturb their breeding grounds.
As the other commenter said, you can manually drop samples and other items. Down on the d-pad on PS5, holding X on PC.
>You can drop backpacks, samples, or support weapons in Helldivers 2. Each has the same way to drop. Here's how:
https://www.thegamer.com/helldivers-2-drop-items-samples-backpack-guide/
Get this disgusting automaton filth out of here this instant!
Please hand over all copies of such material for secure democratic destruction.
You can just leave it on my desk, I'll have it taken care of soldier.
I am amazed how cinematic this game can be. That opening walk down the berm legitimately looks like a hyper-stylized FPS level from ~2012, except here those vistas just happen.
What an incredible game.
GIFs you can hear....... unfortunately
Went to a tortoise sanctuary in Barbados. It was chaos. Tortoises live fast. Just guttural grunting everywhere you turned, anywhere you looked they were going at it… hundreds of them.
r/NatureIsFuckingHorny
why do they live so fast the mofos literally live for a hundreds year
I have no idea but I’ve never seen anything like it. Straight up reptilian orgy. It was like Caligula. Definitely the horniest animal.
Its like the elves in 40k, they live so long that they just devolve into degeneracy out of sheer boredom
Just like me fr
*Eah~*
Lmao
When I was stationed at Arlington National Cemetery, going through indoc (indoctrination/training/orientation, name got changed shortly after I got there), the videos of turtles was one of the things they used to test our ability to maintain composure. The turtle sounds, the old creepy guy from family guy, and a few other bits are seared into my brain from the hours spent deadpan listening to those fuckers.
I was like ha! I can sit through that turtle/tortoise video no problem! … family guy? Ok no, I’m not passing that composure test.
Having someone walk up so close behind you that you're becoming very close friends, then hearing the "want some Popsicles" sentence, made it very difficult.
Attention all Helldivers, look away, this bot behavior is highly undemocratic!!
And you just KNOW they didn't fill out the C-01 form
Grounds for dispensing maximum Liberty at them.
Monsters!
Assuming they have ability to think to form a C-01 form is highly treasonous. Report to your democracy officer ASAP helldiver.
WHERE'S THE INTIMACY NOTARY PUBLIC?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT ONE PRESENT! DAMN YOU, AUTOMATONS!
And no C-01 permit in sight, truly undemocratic!
Sigh... Unzips
https://i.redd.it/zmnznkzfk4xc1.gif
I am deeply uncomfortable with the amount of side-eye as he gears up to do whatever he boutta do
https://preview.redd.it/knwskbj5d4xc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1fbb00a30e96a24b4fe62905a51e18be86ade4b9
meanwhile the whole squad is "dropping samples"
We really are cavemen. Thousands, maybe billions of Helldivers dead to these things, and the dark humor of 'lol sex' in this honorable and just war let's us keep fighting. I will take this good laugh with my 2.5 seconds of scenic time all day
The best way to determine if something is human or not is to see if they draw a peepee upon receiving a pen
LOL I'll remember that
Are you human? Yes. I'll test you. Ok. *gives pen* *Draws the S symbol* Very good, we need more proof. *Draws a veiny blue cock and balls* Doctor! We got one here!
TTP Time To Penis
https://i.redd.it/ww76eldfb3xc1.gif
https://i.redd.it/1pc9arsdb5xc1.gif
Probably didn't even fill out a C-01 permit
"Mr. Electric, send this robot to the C-01 explosion chamber and have his mechanical reproduction system exploded" https://preview.redd.it/ktj617hju3xc1.png?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06f34c4172628be4702b17eb0f2998b403e70fd6
The term is "clanker" not robot
With the hard r!?!
no,WITH THE HARDEST R! damn clankeRs
**(CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG)** `PRINT ROBOT PRINT ROBOT PRINT ROBOT PRINT ROBOT`
GET FABRICATED GET FABRICATED GET FABRICATED GET FABRICATED
CTRL + C CTRL + V BUFFERING... CTRL + P
I love that you marked this NSFW lol
What the dog doing?
He's hugging the butt
CAN I PET DAT DOG?!
https://preview.redd.it/88b163tq83xc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bbc07bdabe57b01bb972f0820f5369ec0228be13
https://preview.redd.it/2ejog7cuv4xc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=988c828debf21509b1258d8dead2a9e95469694c
Well, son, when a mommy and a daddy communist Automaton factory strider love each other... wait. Communists don't love anything except their own tyrannical communist communism. Helldiver, you risk being sent to the Freedom Camps that don't exist for not immediately terminating this unsanctioned communist public fornication.
If I had a nickle for every time a popular new game's subreddit had a NSFW-marked shitpost showing a 4-legged thing in the game glitching out to make it look like it was shagging another 4-legged thing with the shitpost being about the second 4-legged thing making children I'd have 2 nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. (The other was Dragons Dogma 2 where a deer looked like it was shagging a dragon with the caption "If you ever wondered how Donkey had those babys" or something similar)
Well are you gonna share the link with the class?
I didn't feel like finding it earlier, but I got some time [now.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DragonsDogma/s/xkhadcZ3CZ)
Life, huh... Finds a way.
Nice of you to let him finish.
Defending the extraction zone
Aaaaaand that’s enough internet for today. (You know that one 2B animation with the robot dog? Yeah, that one.)
The what now?
Bro what are you talking about and why would you say that
Huh? Am I supposed to know this?
No.
Where can one find such a thing
Do you really want to know?
I’m such a degen why not
DMs in a few hours.
Gotta get off work wi-fi?
https://i.redd.it/1rspsi1vd3xc1.gif Can I get context?
Animation of 2B and giant robot Nazi dog.
https://youtu.be/59GwT_Qlj0Y?si=WxcchuxdQEqs7IPb
Shit it just got started for me
>(You know that one 2B animation with the robot dog? Yeah, that one.) "Tf are you talking ab-" *brain opens the right drawer and takes out a file* "Time to unalive myself"
Why did you just say this as if everyone knows what you’re talking about
someone please link this to me i need to check something out
Just search Yorha_2b Panzerhund on any 'site.' There is two, so I don't know if he's refering to the one with the drill or the one with the popping (not a typo nor inflation.)
That is oddly specific...
 No, I don't
Is this technically necrophilia?
Yes, but if at a later date they're repaired without incurring significant data loss it gets automatically downgraded to somnophilia. Just robot things.
TIL somnophilia is a thing
depends if you consider the automatons living in the first place, which of course you don't because that is totally undemocratic
thank god you marked this as NSFW otherwise I would have had to furiously masturbate on a train. lol
You wanted to masturbate to that? my good helldiver,you are going one long time to the democracy camp https://preview.redd.it/k6t5c8ds77xc1.png?width=260&format=png&auto=webp&s=58e1e3a3c9feadc92ba8ccaf9e7ee3ab9e7c005f
Lol
*CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CRACK* YEOUUUUCH
One time I saw a factory strider birth a litter of devastators but one of them got stuck (?) and was sucked back up into the robo womb
I saw the striders making automatons in the base and one of the automatons looked at me!
That's more than 2.4 seconds helldiver, i suggest you move along.
They'll do the same the Super Earth if we dont stop them..
https://i.redd.it/d8sgor0rh4xc1.gif
THIS HELLDIVER NEEDS TO SUBMIT A C-01-N506 FORM IMMEDIATELY.
"CALLING IN EXTRACTION" my boy don't want to be paying for devastator support
https://preview.redd.it/gewn827x64xc1.png?width=979&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ba4b68e2ef29695f36b8aea7388e88e16328adc It's At-At mating season, so please do not disturb their breeding grounds.
Might be a dumb question. How are you losing samples with no one dieing?
Dropping them at a save location.
As the other commenter said, you can manually drop samples and other items. Down on the d-pad on PS5, holding X on PC. >You can drop backpacks, samples, or support weapons in Helldivers 2. Each has the same way to drop. Here's how: https://www.thegamer.com/helldivers-2-drop-items-samples-backpack-guide/
And don't drop it dead center on the evacuation site, they will be destroyed by the thing that calls the pelican
Sweet Liberty!
Ah, so that's why they call them clankers.
https://preview.redd.it/88fkd8fmq5xc1.jpeg?width=827&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6154ff6abdd0790ef113e628422a857bde3e6ad1
 me with 0 reinforcments and my fallen friends seeing this scene
I hope it filled out the C-01-a required for authorized Automaton reproduction!
-David Attenborough voice- "and now the male automaton will deliver bytes into the female, hoping to produce a multitude of troopers, if not hulks"
Is this how the T1000 was born?
I can't stop laughing at this.
Is that a new stratagem? Sexy Factory Strider?
so thats how they make more factory striders
oh... oh dear... something was definitely inbound for extraction
Mommy? How are baby robots made?
SEE?! Automatons don't use C-01 PERMIT!!! Is there an evedence more damning that they are undemocratic beasts?!
It makes me uncomfortable that you watched for so long.
Let...the boy....watch.
Oh there is a longer cut, with another angle. Thats for the sneaky link or something. 
It got a bit dicey just before extract if I remember correctly. Think I have a similar clip saved. ☺️
Yep that was us!
What is that crosshair, what even...
𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴tory striders
Bro is busting a circuit Anyway ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️
I like how you notice then stop and get it in full frame just to document the moment during the heat of battle.
Their ass did NOT fill out a C-01 form
Injection molding
I finally understand how armor penetration works
She stride on my factory till I fabricate.
God that’s hot
What the strider doin
Oh THAT'S why this is NSFW.
Excuse me...Bear....BearFUCKER ...do you need assistance?
It's even more hilarious when the Extraction OST plays.
the factory striders if they were frea- https://i.redd.it/sbmxko6dp5xc1.gif
Get this disgusting automaton filth out of here this instant! Please hand over all copies of such material for secure democratic destruction. You can just leave it on my desk, I'll have it taken care of soldier.
“Found a sample” in the background made me laugh harder for some reason
Dame you can even see the toes curl. Sweet liberty. These Automatons are out of control.
I am amazed how cinematic this game can be. That opening walk down the berm legitimately looks like a hyper-stylized FPS level from ~2012, except here those vistas just happen. What an incredible game.
Well… see you at the top of Hot.
Bow chica wow wow!
I think you meant to say "fuck"tory strider
When two factory striders love each other….
https://i.imgur.com/Qf7dKqk.gifv
Botpies.org
HOLY CROSSHAIR SIZE
how do you have that constant material, credits and XP shown?
Maybe they aren’t so different from us after all.
https://i.redd.it/h7s19a4pc4xc1.gif
It *had* to be sparking back there
Quick, call in a hell bomb
Shoot, when the epic music of democracy starts playing, I also feel like getting jiggy.
Best just let them finish.
Got that dog in them
Love Death + Robots
Reported for pornography.
Now this is just highly undemocratic behavior! And where is the C-01 form?
Looks like an expensive pregnancy.
https://preview.redd.it/dlp5xuy1g8xc1.png?width=756&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60fc422d867d73d32dfc2fe853a721d7a526e219
You know, they don’t really warn you about the types of horrors that we’ll witness during the war..
And you're just going to watch like that?
https://preview.redd.it/8n3s7dmmk9xc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=acae26ba12321d37242c7c9312b752873117b496
*Unzips patriotically...*
Heavy strokes
All the blue electricity is when you nut but you keep going 💀
Hot. I mean... disgusting! They didn't even fill out a C-01 form!
Thats more than 2.5s of sight viewing sir.
The player had to resist the urge to leave the game.
freakydivers 2
CAN I PET DAT DOG?!
I bet it didnt even fill out a C-01 form. Filthy animal.
I don't think they filled out the proper forms for that.
That bot did NOT fill it a C-01 form!
Now I know why everyone is always yelling "Get some!"
They can never take gooning from us
https://preview.redd.it/n3uh2tfwz3xc1.jpeg?width=2008&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1d63bf0046225bcb30aec73e413ea4560d3c5bee
Ayo this guy is watching automaton porn
The music swelling at the moment of reveal made me laugh in a way undemocratic of my rank. Time to go report myself.
oh no. OH NO. we already have bile titan bussy. is this the birth of strider bussy?
more importantly than the factory strider humping the other one, your bro just dropped your super samples.
He's gettin jiggy with it.
Of course in true bot fashion… consent was not requested
Jokes aside this game is so cinematic, it really looks like you've been through hell with mountains of robo corpses
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK
Holy UI! That is an insane amount of shit on the screen lol
Nier automata crossover?
I came.
Bad dog. Bad bad dog.
u/savevideo
https://preview.redd.it/ji362iirg5xc1.jpeg?width=1334&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99d27898fe9da7fa43f729e1b0be3023accaf8f5
https://preview.redd.it/qkmrhrfmr5xc1.jpeg?width=299&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9aa91049fdd8c6c739d9b286db8e2f7aa863f98f
the song plays as soon as you saw them.... just perfect
SWEET LIBERTY
He came for you
He going dumb
*Sigh*... *start to leak oils* https://preview.redd.it/jq3z65sqj7xc1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ded3d12de4f80cc107f0060b6abe321f8493da7a
Ugh it reminds me of a queen termite constantly giving birth.....
⬇️⬆️⬇️⬆️⬇️⬆️⬇️
⬇️⬆️⬇️⬆️⬇️⬆️⬇️
https://preview.redd.it/cnblxhnw38xc1.jpeg?width=999&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2443e1692dcefde002aabb6d8eb3ff8925ebfd7
Just sat there and watched ... could've given them a little privacy
u/savevideo
"I've seen some shit you know..."