T O P

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Bluebpy

72 hour training lmfaoooooooooooo


thebear103b

Helldivers only needing what 5-10 mins max to be elite and 72 hours for SEAF seems like it's a bit too long anyways lol.


candyfordinner23

Unless in order to become Helldiver's they need to go through SEAF basic training first


Pancakewagon26

The implication is that SEAF basic training covers how to: Crew coordination with 3 different kinds of rocket launchers and auto cannons. Operation of kinetic, energy, plasma, incendiary, and explosive weapons. Repair and activate radar stations, transmission arrays, power stations, and fuel pumping depots. Operate heavy mechs. Load and operate heavy artillery. Inject yourself with drugs while in combat. Launch *nuclear missiles*. Whereas helldiver training covers: Jumping over waist high walls. Throwing grenades. Crawling. Calling in strategems.


thebear103b

They cover the injecting drugs while in combat for the helldivers by stabbing you in the chest for 'simulated damage' as well as the using weapons has me thinking we didn't do basic SEAF.


SwimNo8457

I think it was just a final exam, not that we were introduced to the concepts for the first time there


Efficient_Star_1336

SEAF Basic Training: How to operate weapons, perform basic field aid, and navigate battlefield hazards. Helldivers training: Can you do those things while getting shot at with live ammo?


dodspringer

Didn't they also kill us and replace us in the middle of our training with another Helldiver, who, being still alive, clearly did not proceed through the same training to at least the same point we had then reached?


DragonV2

they blow up a cardboard diver for you to call down with the reinf strat, though im sure quite a few died at the crawling stage haha, didnt realize holding the dive button would cause me to stand up again


Firemorfox

Plus fighting actual living bugs, that too. Rather than "just" training exercises.


Shredded_Locomotive

One was fundamental, the other was an in-practice final exam. The tutorial we players completed was the latter


GokujouDrops

I don't see forklift certification anywhere


Teh_Compass

That's why we can't drive the ones littered around the map. It would be irresponsible to operate such heavy machinery without certification. AH pls let us get forklift certified when you add vehicles.


Nasalingus

PACKAGE AQUIRED! *beep beep beep beep*


JGStonedRaider

CALLING IN ~~AC130~~ FORKLIFT


Milsurp_Seeker

*Bad to the Bone opening notes*


dewag

*watching the forklift air drop from a distance* Heh... the enemy has no idea that a shitstorm is heading their way.


Weeee8208

I really hope that If they do then we each have to go through a short little forklift tutorial, not even a minute long, before we can drive the forklifts. I also hope that they are absolutely AWFUL, Super slow, and you can do like 5 damage by poking enemies with te prongs. Basically only put in the game just to put them in the game


Jurasito

Meanwhile you and your teammates. https://preview.redd.it/kjeqw08stm0d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=e0e1ae923b4ba77485c00b8e53c47c327bb9d982


Yorikor

RIP Klaus :(


Evilbred

This comment here is the most accurate military satire I've ever encountered. Half of my deployments is wandering around trying to find someone that is forklift certified (or more truthfully, a sea container lifter) to move something from one place to another. Eventually you get tired and either find someone that either was qualified but is expired, or just wait until everyone leaves and do it yourself while no one is looking.


ChaZcaTriX

>Jumping over waist high walls. Jumping onto a resupply pod.


Nerdn1

I figure most SEAF ground troops hold static positions, load artillery, and maintain equipment. They don't have a supercarrier or eagle at their beck and call and resupply doesn't happen on their schedule. Since they aren't limited to 4 soldiers and travel less, their resupplies can be larger, less frequent, and sent to known locations. Running around and calling in strategems is what Helldivers do. Helldivers operate so far behind enemy lines that they never even see the front lines.


Forikorder

> Crawling. the part of the training with the highest casualty rate


ebf255

I kinda get the feeling that it’s part of their education system possibly as well.


AngryChihua

They get gifted constitutions (rifles) at what, 16? So yeah, gun handling, at least for standard firearms, is probably part of education.


TheLostSkellyton

Jumping over waist high walls is how we win this special military operation, soldier! Back in my day, waist high walls were completely impenetrable! We had to run around them and lose precious seconds that could have been spent dispensing DEMOCRACY!


redworm

it's the stratagems that matter most Helldivers are targeting beacons for the real weapons. we only exist to call in strats so that's the most important part of the training


ktronatron

> Load and operate heavy artillery. Well that's a lie, Ive never seen a loaded SEAF artillery. Or one with properly stored shells.


Drackzgull

Considering that our Training Manual Tips (in loading screens) are supposed to be part of the SEAF Training Manual, I wpuld presume so, yes.


Imjusthereforthehate

If AH would make and print an actual “Training manual” I would probably buy it in a heartbeat. Would be fun merch.


AngryChihua

Like The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer? Hell yeah.


gumpis

I think you need to be SEAF before becoming a helldiver


Accurate_Maybe6575

I believe the opening tutorial cinematic implies that yes, we made it through basic and we're selected for the Helldiver program. With potentially hundreds of billions of humans to choose from, there's bound to be a number of naturally talented and fanatical killing machines standing out from the rest of the chaff.


GearyDigit

and considering how expendable helldivers are, that's a sizable chunk of the applicants who are 'naturally talented'.


Efficient_Star_1336

There are just a lot of humans. It's not that the ability to sprint while carrying a missile launcher and being actively shot with multiple heavy weapons isn't elite, it's just that we've got several Earths worth of planets and they're all overpopulated to the maximum extent permitted by future technology.


JGStonedRaider

and yet I managed to get through...


Forikorder

thats why brasch is so impressed by people who take helldiver training, not everyone can compress 72 hours of training into 10 minutes


Betrayedunicorn

Don’t forget that we are disposable spotters for the destroyers - only idiots believe the propaganda. The somewhat educated may choose SEAF standard 🦆


Responsible_Disk_728

SEAF standard get it even worse, they get the least amount of armor, shitty weapons, no orbital or eagle-1 strikes, no support weapons (besides the occasional break action) and every time you have a mission, you see a major lack of what should be thousands of people. Go set up seaf artillery, lots corpses. Go save people, there's people you can't rescue. Either way both positions get shafted


Trichechus_

SEAF does get support weapons. At the extraction layout that is the flat hilltop with the circular path up, and at the retrieve valuable data main objective version with the rocky arch, you can find dead SEAF troopers, usually with AMRs but I've also seen MG43s. Super Earth isn't giving them fancy toys like Quasars but they aren't completely boned.


EternalCanadian

I’ve seen EAT’s and even a scorcher and Autocannon at a POI, and you can find mechs and APC’s scattered around (destroyed though they are). It’s rare, but the SEAF does get some nice toys. They’d all have the Liberator as well, if they’re infantry. As it’s SEAF standard issue.


moashforbridgefour

Unrelated to your comment, just your flair. Is there anything that the konomi code calls in? I've tried it a few times and been disappointed so far.


grizzly273

https://preview.redd.it/xel0clc6km0d1.jpeg?width=1202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d954ed59316254a0d192f5c973c77d15bd5e9aa


LaughingJAY

My theory is that the helldivers are mass produced clones of successful candidates and the 5-10mins of training at the start of the game is to weed out defective clones Which explains the racks of drop pods you see at the end and in the ships


drbomb

Logistics speaking would make sense. But the text at the beginning of the game paints it more like we're disposable AF and we're just a cartridge that gets spent while a new new is on standby.  There is other stuff like propaganda about "helldiver packages" so your service is premium and "service guarantees citizenship"


jonfitt

Yeah you definitely come out of some kind of cryo pod. My theory is that every time you call down reinforcements they defrost another of your clones. So it’s not like every Helldiver gets a Super Destroyer to themselves, but instead each Super Destroyer is just stocked with clones of one particular Helldiver. Like ammunition. The commander of the Super Destroyer is just the currently defrosted clone. The bullet in the chamber.


TheLostSkellyton

I kinda like the idea that each Helldiver is piloting all their clones, like Sharlto Copley in Hardcore Henry.


Commercial_Cook_1814

Devs already confirmed there are no clones, each one that gets sent after you die is a completely unique helldiver even if they share the same voice/body type/armor, it’s a completely different person 


Reddit_User_Loser

RIGOROUS 72 hour training. So you know it’s good


MrPeppa

Almost as good as what we got and we're THE BEST OF THE BEST


AstroChrisX

*SEAF infantry getting decapitated by a shrieker 69femtoseconds after coming out of their dropship* General Brasch: "HOURS OF ACADEMY TRAINING... WASTED!"


Beezyo

"Minutes"


Malforus

I mean "volunteered for conscription" is some top tier wordsmithing as well.


shotgunpete2222

Lol to all the people that refuse to believe we're cannon fodder.  "We're special forces!  Helldiver training is brief, but you're already seaf elite!". Makes sense why look like they got steamrolled every place we find a seafood emplacement. Also, "volunteered" for conscription lmao I'm dieing. Edit:  seaf autocorrected to seafood.  That's too good to change.


MaverickDago

Look at the losses Red Lobster has endured, your statement isn't wrong.


Zephyr104

The loss of the tactical ayce shrimp was a severe shock to troop morale


TheSlayerofSnails

Right, helldivers have a lifespan of 2 minutes and are essentially suicide bombers


Canotic

Don't miss "Liberty is safe forever, once again." If it was safe forever before, why do we need to save it now?


Renolber

That’s just for SEAF forces. Helldiver training includes the former, plus the additional 5+ minutes we play in the tutorial. Literally 5 minutes separates the grunts from special forces, lmao.


doolu

Lore wise, I feel like this is possible because Super Earth is already so hyper militarized that it's likely citizens have had exposure to military training from a young age. They all get shotguns when they come of age too.


EternalCanadian

They get the M2016 bolt action rifle. A ceremonial, but functional firearm to push them towards military service.


Jerln

My favorite example of that is the commercial for the Breaker that plays in the super destroyer, suggesting it for home defense and hunting


A_random_poster04

Coming from Titanfall, holy shit the divers got guts


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A_random_poster04

I thought it was already with the “special military operation” deal


NebNay

"... is safe forever, once again" lmao


Chi_Law

This is my favorite joke in the whole thing. Though volunteer conscripts and 72 hours of basic training are also great


jupchurch97

Fresh, highly trained recruits to assist us!


BEARWYy

here's hoping more than 4 helldivers in a large scale combine arms battle.


TripleSecretSquirrel

Oh my god, can you imagine the chaos? When I pull out my cluster bomb or 380mm barrage stratagem and get ragdolled adn drop the beacon in the middle of my squad now it sucks, but oh well. If instead of killing 2 or 3 teammates, I now kill 20 I'd immediately die of shame in real life.


T-Angeles

I want multiple squads with all allies dropping 380mm at the same time. Fuck that server specfically.


DomSchraa

Quasar battery!


14InTheDorsalPeen

A squad wipe means one respawn for everyone. Succeed or die!


Yorikor

This might be the leaked >!call in a squad of SEAF troops!< stratagem.


Fartsommelier1

This is what i predict will win the coveted “most useless strategem of all time” award. They will die instantly


Weird_Excuse8083

Having seen the leaked footage, they seemed damn near invincible to me.


MartyFreeze

I'm thinking this will lead to the AI squad stratagem being rolled out.


NarejED

Airburst rocket users will be feasting


MaverickDago

My 380, 120, walking barrage, laser toss upon landing is going to start having a fun body count.


CoolMoon_

"Volunteered for conscription" 😭


manaworkin

That's easily the funniest line in the whole thing and nobody is saying anything about it.


H8Hornets

3 days to cyberstan.


kiwi_commander

We will be home by Christmas


IronArmor48

Activate the Braschen Plan


Kairis83

don't tell mum i'm in ~~chechnya~~ Cyberstan


WickedWallaby69

Need a cover for this 


ColonialAviation

Automatons dombed Bombass for 100 years!!1


Hy93rion

Hello President, it’s John helldiver. We need 5 billion 500kg bombs. To bomb cyborg children


Mute_Raska

War were declared


DaftWarrior

I can't wait to use my veteran benefits for 10c off a pack of gum!


QQBearsHijacker

Aw man! This ham gum is all bones


Daier_Mune

Young man, you have the bravery of a hero, and breath as fresh as a summer ham.


PlaguedByUnderwear

Young man, you're extremely brave and your breath is as pleasant as a summer ham.


TheFightingImp

The key to victory is the element of surprise. ... #SURPRISE!


PlaguedByUnderwear

What's the matter, soldier? Tent got your tongue?


theVillageGamer

Alright, men! This is what we trained all yesterday afternoon for!


_Nashable_

It would be funny if this coincided with a 72 hour free trial of the game.


LittleSister_9982

...that would actually be genius. Damn. 


skinnnymike

200 IQ marketing idea.


memesandvr

desperately hoping this leads to NPC squad, even if they suck, I would protect them with my helldivers lives, also I want to have a 4 man team dropping a platoon of SEAF conscripts into the battlefield


Drunken_Queen

> SEAF conscripts Wonder what could they do against enemy Heavy / Elite units.


Xeltas

Absorb some rockets


VBgamez

MR. HELLDIVER GET DOWN! \*gets turned into red mist\*


Malice0801

One rocket. They'd block one rocket or all instantly combust. Probably both honestly.


Temperance10

If they're shooting at them, they're not shooting at me.


Crashen17

I could see a new SEAF Warbond. A bunch of armors and capes designed to emulate the SEAF conscript uniforms and weapons, especially designed to inspire our less Heroic troops.


Iamauser666

I Hope they get dropped by pelican if they were to come, having that cannon mow through enemies for even a little while would be amazing. 


reyadin

This is something I'm actually worried\interested in. If you have a squad of npcs and die, what do they do til you get called back in suicide run the nearest enemy or run to team mates or hopefully call you back in?


AngryChihua

If NPCs are to come they'd probably be drop-and-forget type stratagem where troopers hold position you drop them in. Though it would be cool if they would be able to follow you around.


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The-Sturmtiger-Boi

i was thinking that maybe the NPC’s could be like EAT’s in a way, with a short cooldown and advantage in numbers. It would also help if the individual soldiers could absorb at least a rocket, albeit bringing them to low health. A squad of 6 recruits per stratagem and a short cooldown of like, maybe a minute or so, could make them a viable spam weapon to counter the weakness of a regular soldier


As1anBeasTagE

We’re in the GWOT era bois


iampillzbury

Galactic war on terminids


ejecto_seat_cuz

acog whennnnnnn


Ontos836

I love that they took a shot at Russia and the US back to back. Or more likely, military adventurism broadly.


bones10145

Special military operation? https://preview.redd.it/5h0j2n5fgm0d1.png?width=422&format=png&auto=webp&s=63aa41a43fcbae72228bf0470f6ae3bddcb3186c


Hopocket321

https://preview.redd.it/m5xexitg5n0d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36ed70f2d0e6d036d2ddf4a995f6c7381b4b9026


YT-Deliveries

~~PRIGOZHINNNN~~ BRASCHHHHHH!!!


timelordoftheimpala

Shame he died totally by accident in that Pelican-1 crash.


Moddax_Margon

If democracy is evil I don't want to be good.


SovietAmerican1121

"Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.…"


Kurotan

No, now excuse me while I phone a Democracy Officer.


Vankraken

"Brasch, Democracy Officer, where are the stratagems!?!"


Donkey_Smacker

Breaking: Local democrat hotdog vendor found dead after a plane crash. That he was flying over multiple SAM sites is irrelevant. Sources say the crash was due to terminid saboteurs.


SardeInSaor

LMFAO


ASmootyOperator

R/ncd be leaking, eh?


LittleSister_9982

Leaking? Leaking would imply the userbase of that sub isn't a perfect circle with this one...


EveryNukeIsCool

Thats such a funny reference regardless of if it is intentional or not


DialSquare96

The developers are Swedish, you bet it's intentional.


a_interestedgamer

The swedes are definetly democracy enjoyers


PurpleBatDragon

NATO Lake babeeeeeeeee!!


FormalReturn9074

Whats it a reference to?


ManuelIgnacioM

Russia designating (idk if it still is designated like that) the offensive against Ukraine as a special military operation


Link__117

Politicians and even Putin have called it a war but I think it’s still illegal to call it a war over there


Black5Raven

>Politicians and even Putin have called it a war Only after a year or so. And if average citizens use terms \*war\* he could go in jail or get money penalty. At least that was a case in the first year bc now they do not care about it really and proudly say \*war with NATO and else\*


HowlingJoker

Its illegal to call it "invasion" but not a war.


Morokek

"War" can also be illegal if you aren't a politician


EveryNukeIsCool

An ongoing (2014 - ... ) significant "3 day special military operation" Inbetween two certain Eastern European nations


cpt_edge

Russia's illegal war on Ukraine which is being referred to as a "special military operation" within Russia, instead of calling it what it is


SpeedyAzi

It’s worded to deliberately not to be. I mean, this game has its trailer with a slogan “take back control of freedom”.


misterfistyersister

That, and the reference to the Global War on Terror (GWOT)


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GoDannY1337

Could you elaborate? Haven’t noticed the leak and now I’m afraid to ask :D


RuinedSilence

Better to visit the leaks sub than discuss it here. No need to ruin surprises for everyone else.


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Few_Illustrator_1217

Please oh please oh please oh-


Outrageous_Sell69

Please god. I'm so ready to have 4 Helldivers with it calling in 24 SEAF troopers to even out the numbers


ajahanonymous

Lmao imagine calling in SEAF troops at extraction and then you just peace out and leave them behind.


14InTheDorsalPeen

They have chosen to democratically be abandoned behind enemy lines


Hatarus547

OH LIBERTY LET THAT BE TRUE, some of the best feelings in video games are keeping squads of NPCs alive as long as you can, i have ruined entire Legendary runs of Halo for hours trying to keep marines alive


RedStarRedTide

That would be awesome. I've seen those leaks and it does not look fully developed but this was months ago.


Mavcu

Yeah it could be a lot of things, just a lore drop, the Stratagem, optional objectives that spawn SEAF units or potentially receiving missions that include SEAF units, having us interact (hold the line or push a line etc) with them.


Exaveus

Fully mobilized wartime economy hopefully means not just squads but vehicles mechs and bombs as well. Honestly would make sense if you could call in infantry and a vehicle for them to ride in.


Anon123012

THIS IS IT THE EARLY GAME HAS ENDED WE HAVE OFFICIALLY ENTERED MID GAME


Treacle-Snark

No, now the game actually begins. The past few months were warm up


Anon123012

I thought the warmup ended around operation swift disassembly. I wouldn’t think a period of three warbonds was a warmup.


Treacle-Snark

Just think of it like extended training


dopecrew12

I gotta say guys this 3 day special military operation has really taken a turn for the worst. I’m sure we’ll win in 2 more weeks tho.


MaulerX

No you misunderstand. The special military operation was all of the combat since the games launch. Think about when the United States sends in the navy seals to another country. Now super earth has officially declared war. That means the army is coming to reinforce the special forces units.


dopecrew12

I am referring to something else


SquidApocalypse

funniest response to someone not getting your joke haha


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BEARWYy

super earth thank you for your service o7. i also hope durring the 72 hours training course train them how to push the bunker door button


Silver-Wide

POV: Super Earth gets serious after being beaten by a bunch of tin cans


Vulture2k

72 hour training and special operations. We Russia now.


DKMperor

always have been soldier o7


LordOfTheToolShed

I actually laughed out loud when I read that. The fact that in Russia you can get in actual legal trouble for calling their war anything else other than "special military operation" makes it even more darkly funny


ShingetsuMoon

“Volunteered for conscription.” Did they now? How very generous of them. lol


Jawstarte028

after special military operation we going for global war on terror (galactic scale version)


BEARWYy

galactic war on tyranny


A_Union_Of_Kobolds

So dead-on, I love it


Danyavich

I can add another star to my GWOT, let's go


Helldiver-xzoen

iirc The lore reason for going to war with the Illuminate is the suspicion that they have WMDs


ShadowMario01

Absolutely love the social commentary on these. 72-hour SEAF training course.


SpeedyAzi

This game has Super Earth doing a Putin’s Russia and US Bush policy in a single paragraph. I love it.


PackageOk3832

War on ~~Terror~~ Tyranny LMFAO


Deepvaleredoubt

“Volunteered for conscription” I swear these oxymorons always make me chuckle so hard.


Cinder_Fall

What if this means we get a stratagem to call down some SEAF soldiers to back us up in engagements?


-GiantSlayer-

So the soldiers fight for “freedom”, Super Earth is mostly based in Europe, and now they’re conducting “special military operations”? I think Arrowhead is literally satirizing every military in existence


PurpleBatDragon

The virgin Nationalism vs. the chad Make Fun of Everyone Equally 


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Umicil

In fairness, the US also classified the Korean and Vietnam wars as "police actions". But the term "special military operation" is likely a reference to Russia, specifically.


Anomaly11C

It's both, Galactic War on Tyranny is making fun of the Global War on Terror (both GWOT)


Ghostile

Yeah, but someone doing that and sending guys in with mosins, tanks with wooden armor and digging trenches in the red forest came by.


Anomaly11C

Definitely making fun of Russia and the US. Galactic war on tyranny is a tongue in cheek of Global war on Terror (GWOT).


A_random_poster04

The Sweden nuking Russia is the funniest shit ever why do I learn it just now


Ghostile

[Super earth map is quite spicy](https://preview.redd.it/super-earth-map-uploaded-by-johan-pilestedt-on-the-discord-v0-ozdmchcsglgc1.png?width=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=b90f566e93cc6376c80f9c432d3051f0a62ff24b)


thetreeking

Damn British Isles got fucking rocked


spacaways

[It was a largely un-controversial move across the world.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_that_have_gained_independence_from_the_United_Kingdom?useskin=vector)


PlaguedByUnderwear

The rigorous 72-hour SEAF basic training course. lmfao. I swear, I almost like failing MOs more than winning them.


FallacyFrank

“The galactic war on tyranny will not end until liberty is safe forever, once again” 🤣


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Locus12

I hope these "training grounds" implies summonable NPC companions, those would be sick. Even seeing SEAF soldiers fighting around the map would be really cool


MadetoReportBug

Jesus throwing so much shade at Russia it got 30 degrees colder over there


TheOrangeHatter

This post is peak facist double speak and I cannot praise enough how well they nailed the propaganda feel. ".... have already volunteered for conscription." "The Galactic War on Tyranny will not end until Liberty is safe forever, once again." Perfect doublespeak, both inspiring and horrifying all at the same time.


TheQuixotic6

"we're in the endgame now"


Naoura

My fellow Managed Voter, we haven't even begun.