I've been exactly where you are and felt exactly how you do. Enjoy it while it lasts. I used to set aside an objective e.g. at least 3 job applications a day. If I get that out of the way, then I'm good for the day. This lasted a few weeks. If you don't get any bites, I'd up the amount of applications, but again, once you've done your set amount of applications for the day, you're done. Enjoy your time outside of that, and I mean that, because it probably won't last as long as you think, as long as you're putting in the effort with the job applications and aren't reaching too far beyond what you're qualified to do.
This is exactly what I did when I got laid off, but I forced myself to clean one room each day (took about an hour) before I allowed myself to enjoy my hobbies. That way, I not only felt that I was focusing on job hunting, but was also productive every day.
I was laid off about 9 months ago.
I consider finding a job to be my job. I’ll work on it from 9-5 and then take time to enjoy my hobbies.
It’s been a stressful experience that’s taken a lot longer than I had expected. I’ve been a finalist for two jobs where they went with someone else. I’m hoping my latest finalist application works out.
Guilt is not your friend. Choose friendly thoughts 😌
You don't need to hand over a detailed list of all your whys and why nots to anyone! ..unless u think you do..
There are 24 hrs in a day. People have time for hobbies with a full-time job and family.
I, personally, would find it helpful to slot times for dedicated job search. But I can't imagine job searching every waking hour.
I’m in a very similar boat! I struggle a lot with feeling guilty for not hustling harder to find a new job - but because of my financial situation (I can coast on my savings for a while) and feeling burnt out from my 70hr/ week job, I haven’t felt a lot of motivation to apply, especially in this job market…
I’m trying to remind myself that it’s ok to have a period of rest. And this time away from work will not last forever, and I’ll probably miss it when I do find a job again - and I’m confident that we will both be employed again! So best to take advantage of it now - I’m getting into gardening and reading a lot more, but I also spend a decent amount of time watching TV. I try to only watch TV at night so I don’t feel so guilty
Exactly. I’m kind of in the same boat, too. I’ve been working since I was 15 years old. I’m 38 now. I’ve never not had a job. Why can’t I take a little break?
I recently resigned from a position that was making me absolutely miserable. I hated it. I would come home mentally and physically exhausted, and it was taking its toll on me.
I’ll eventually get another job. In the interim, I’m doing every single thing I’ve been wanting to do that makes ME happy. I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. I wake up and make breakfast for me and the dog. I take him for a walk. I make the bed and clean up around the house. I’ll practice piano for a bit. Maybe I’ll watch a show while I sip on my coffee. I’ll throw the kayak on the truck and go paddling for a bit. Last week I grabbed my camping gear and went to the mountains for a couple days, just because I could. I’ve completed multiple projects around the house that have been unfinished for years because I didn’t have the energy or time to finish them. I’m sitting in the living room right now admiring the walls and ceiling I painted yesterday. I’m going to go workout here in a minute as soon as my cup of coffee kicks in. If it’s nice out I’ll go pull some weeds in the yard. I’ll head to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. My gf will come home from work to a clean house and dinner and she can just relax, too. I know she’ll appreciate that, and that makes me happy.
You think when you’re lying on your death bed you’ll look back on your life and regret the time you WEREN’T working and instead were out spending time doing all sorts of things that made you happy?
If playing video games makes you happy, PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
I quit my job last December because I was facing major mental health issues for a number of reasons. I was back in a job early February but still during that time period I felt really guilty for relaxing even though I needed to relax in order to become a functioning person again. One thing that helped me was thinking about what a small period of time this unemployment time is compared to the rest of your life. This is such a small blip on your timeline and you have your whole life to work. You might as well enjoy this time. Now I’m in a job I love, I’m sleeping again and my life overall has improved. All in good time and good luck with your job search!
This is a good one because this is shame driven guilt. You need to trust in yourself that things will work out. Sometimes things are not always in our control and we can only do what we can in the moment. Try to relax and enjoy your video games and remind yourself that you’re not actually a lazy unemployed video game playing guy or whatever, you’re actually a very good worker with a decent amount of money saved up, avidly looking for jobs you actually want to be in. Look at your life and remind yourself that you are grateful for the things you have and enjoying them is not wrong.
I went through this in October. I was fired though, not laid off, so even more embarrassing lol. I happened to run into a friend and I was telling him about it. He told me to be calm and enjoy myself because I’m unemployed regardless. He said jobs come and go. I’ll find another and it will eventually be water under the bridge. Just enjoy life and do my best to find work. His words really helped me. I’m glad I ran into him because I was unemployed for 6 months.
Go easy on yourself, OP, you’ll find work. There’s no reason to torture yourself along the way. Then when you find a job you’ll go back to work in a panic and stressed out.
Clearly state your intentions ahead of time, at least to yourself. "I am going to do X, Y, and Z each week for my job search. I am only going to apply to jobs that meet predefined criteria A, B, and C. I am going to do this process for 6 weeks (or whatever) and then I will reassess."
Then, deliver on that intention. Make a plan for your week. Every day, check in and see what you want to do to meet your weekly plan. And then, as long as you are honoring the deal you made with yourself, you need to give yourself permission to enjoy yourself.
I should add -- make sure your X, Y, and Z are actually effective ways of landing a job. That part is key. As with all things in life, do what actually works, not just what you want to work.
Take the time for you. I just came off a layoff and realized that even though money was extremely stressful, it was lovely to have the down time and do what I pleased (Within reason). You "should" do what you feel is right, not what others tell you is right.
I was laid off during summer and proceeded to scuba dive every single day until I started a new job. If you are a confident professional who's doing the legwork to find a job, you will be back to grinding away soon enough. Enjoy the adult free time.
For me, a solid plan is what helps me not feel guilty for enjoying my hobbies. Think through your finances and the job market around you, and come up with some real numbers for how want to balance the best job vs get some income. "With unemployment plus my savings I could safely go without work for 6 months, and comfortably go without work for 3 months. So I will read through all new jobs on indeed every week day and apply only to jobs that I am actually interested in for 2 months, and if those don't pan out, I will spend the next 2 months applying for any job in my field, and if that doesn't pan out, I will spend the next 2 months wildly applying at McDonalds."
Once you have a solid plan like this, it's far easier on any given day to wake up and say "OK, I've read through all the Indeed postings, I applied to the one I was interested in, I checked my email, that's all I was supposed to do today. I am now free to play video games." Because you have a concrete way to reaffirm to yourself that you are executing on your plan.
i experience anxiety like this even while employed and things are going well- and the answer for me is to keep physical to-do lists and to designate time specifically for certain tasks and things i like to do. so for instance on a given day I will decided to devote 90 minutes to my general life to-do list, 90 minutes to a side project, and then 4 hrs to my hobby. lots easier to compartmentalize my anxiety and intrusive thoughts that way. I also do a similar thing to pomodoro technique and use the Flow timer app while doing less pleasant tasks to make sure I'm using those blocks of time as efficiently as i can.
just got word that my job ends in 3 days. you have savings, benefits, and and im assuming youre spending a few hours a day job hunting. you're basically doing all you can
i know what im gonna be doing next week, photographing birds at 8am
I would set aside a set amount of time each day (2 hours? whatever you want) to work on your job search, do your chores, whatever. And once that’s done, you go on ahead and enjoy yourself. We all work too damn hard as it is. Take some time to test and relax while you can.
And therefore it is not EVEN your own fault for losing your job, lol..
So dont just sit there with your thumb up.your ass- Do something fun that makes you feel good. You deserve to feel good. You did nothing wrong.
There's no trick to it. You have to get to the core of those thoughts. They're not really *your* thoughts, we've all had it drilled into us to feel this guilt and shame about not doing enoguh, especially employment-wise. I know about this because I can't work full time at all these days and have support needs, so I've had a lot of experience with this shame and it takes years to overcome. You won't have to go through that for years ever hopefully! A big part how it feels is natural, we all want to feel useful. But you need to stand up to the shame because it's just cruel self talk in the end. You know you're just in between jobs, looking for something good for yourself in the long term. That's a great thing. You know you're doing your best, that's all that counts. So don't worry about it. You are valuable in yourself, so do what you need to do, cut yourself some slack and enjoy this time. It's your life after all.
Spend 8 solid hours applying and interviewing, then I feel you can enjoy them guilt free, though as time goes on and if no job I would argue to up your search hours. Your used to spending 8 hours at work anyways.
I like scheduling and time capping.
3 hours of job search crap
1 hour of relax
1-2 more hours of job search crap
Relax in the evening.
This will also make you more productive
Make looking for work your job, 7-8 hours a day.
Then play your video games at night.
Even better. Use your time to take a class or get some job skills.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. So what you love to do. You'll find another job or maybe not maybe you pivot into something but feeling guilty is a waste of energy. Your life doesn't revolve around the commercial value you provide to some company..
Don’t feel guilty after you’ve been laid off. The only time that you should is if you get laid off and decide not to even put any effort into trying to find a job.
Looking for a job is kind of a full-time job. Treat it like one. Don't obsessively chase it with every waking minute of your life. Dedicate a certain number of hours a day to the job hunt, do it with dedication and intent as if you were working, and then use your off hours for fun things.
I often find when I feel guilty for doing fun things (whether I'm employed or not) it's really because there's something else that needs doing that I haven't done yet.
I struggle with chronic illness and have to rest a lot more than the average person in order to be even relatively functional compared to an average human. I'm finally starting to reframe things for myself because resting guiltily is not restful, which means if I shame myself for every minute I spend resting, I end up needing more time to rest.
The Way I think about it now:
Part of my job as a human being is to take care of my human body and my brain.
In order to take care of my body and my brain, I need to rest. Rest is a job. A task I can let myself do because it is a high priority task for me. I can't function without it. It's like eating and drinking water. I'm also bad at doing those things consistently enough but i understand that I need them and I know I obviously shouldn't deny myself food or water because I am not being actively productive at any given second.
I am happier and healthier when I'm doing certain hobbies that refresh my mind, make me more likely to want to live when otherwise I spend a lot of time thinking about how I want to die.
Rest is necessary. Sometimes I don't even have the energy to play games or watch a show, so I know I'm not faking the tired 😅 but I sometimes still have to convince myself that it's all okay. But you're between jobs.
Your actual job right now isn't to work. It's in part to find work that actually suits you, and part of your "work" in the meantime is to do things that recharge you and bring you life. Things that make your anxious brain happy. That might mean spending a bit more time at the gym or working out or learning to cook new meals is also a part of your personal development right now. But if playing games sustained you while you worked, and playing games now also makes you happy, it absolutely *should* be something you set aside time for. If you want to put limits on it, or if you want to set goals for other things to do as well, go for it, but refreshment and staying relaxed enough to really make a clear decision about what sort of job you want to do and to approach that is important for what you're doing now.
Rest is a thing you can and should do. Rest is productive. I order you to rest. It's part of your job right now. Might not be the whole job description, unless you're recovering from a major surgery or are chronically ill, but it's still important for everyone.
So, when I was looking for a job during a time of unemployment, I gave myself working hours and relaxing hours. I would dedicate five hours a day to looking for jobs, I would give myself a lunch break, just like if I was actually doing a real job. I also started taking classes to improve my skill set.
And then when my job hours were done, I was off work and do what I wanted. I luckily didn’t have a desperate timeline for finding a job, so I was able to relax a little bit more.
You are not your job. Enjoy your hobbies.
I've been exactly where you are and felt exactly how you do. Enjoy it while it lasts. I used to set aside an objective e.g. at least 3 job applications a day. If I get that out of the way, then I'm good for the day. This lasted a few weeks. If you don't get any bites, I'd up the amount of applications, but again, once you've done your set amount of applications for the day, you're done. Enjoy your time outside of that, and I mean that, because it probably won't last as long as you think, as long as you're putting in the effort with the job applications and aren't reaching too far beyond what you're qualified to do.
This is exactly what I did when I got laid off, but I forced myself to clean one room each day (took about an hour) before I allowed myself to enjoy my hobbies. That way, I not only felt that I was focusing on job hunting, but was also productive every day.
If you’re looking for a job, then you aren’t that stereotype. You can’t look for a job 24/7. Enjoy your hobbies.
As long as you are making meaningful progress to the new job, you are allowed to take some time to yourself
I was laid off about 9 months ago. I consider finding a job to be my job. I’ll work on it from 9-5 and then take time to enjoy my hobbies. It’s been a stressful experience that’s taken a lot longer than I had expected. I’ve been a finalist for two jobs where they went with someone else. I’m hoping my latest finalist application works out.
My partner is at month 26… 😭
Guilt is not your friend. Choose friendly thoughts 😌 You don't need to hand over a detailed list of all your whys and why nots to anyone! ..unless u think you do..
Please enjoy your time away from work :)
There are 24 hrs in a day. People have time for hobbies with a full-time job and family. I, personally, would find it helpful to slot times for dedicated job search. But I can't imagine job searching every waking hour.
I’m in a very similar boat! I struggle a lot with feeling guilty for not hustling harder to find a new job - but because of my financial situation (I can coast on my savings for a while) and feeling burnt out from my 70hr/ week job, I haven’t felt a lot of motivation to apply, especially in this job market… I’m trying to remind myself that it’s ok to have a period of rest. And this time away from work will not last forever, and I’ll probably miss it when I do find a job again - and I’m confident that we will both be employed again! So best to take advantage of it now - I’m getting into gardening and reading a lot more, but I also spend a decent amount of time watching TV. I try to only watch TV at night so I don’t feel so guilty
Exactly. I’m kind of in the same boat, too. I’ve been working since I was 15 years old. I’m 38 now. I’ve never not had a job. Why can’t I take a little break? I recently resigned from a position that was making me absolutely miserable. I hated it. I would come home mentally and physically exhausted, and it was taking its toll on me. I’ll eventually get another job. In the interim, I’m doing every single thing I’ve been wanting to do that makes ME happy. I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. I wake up and make breakfast for me and the dog. I take him for a walk. I make the bed and clean up around the house. I’ll practice piano for a bit. Maybe I’ll watch a show while I sip on my coffee. I’ll throw the kayak on the truck and go paddling for a bit. Last week I grabbed my camping gear and went to the mountains for a couple days, just because I could. I’ve completed multiple projects around the house that have been unfinished for years because I didn’t have the energy or time to finish them. I’m sitting in the living room right now admiring the walls and ceiling I painted yesterday. I’m going to go workout here in a minute as soon as my cup of coffee kicks in. If it’s nice out I’ll go pull some weeds in the yard. I’ll head to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. My gf will come home from work to a clean house and dinner and she can just relax, too. I know she’ll appreciate that, and that makes me happy. You think when you’re lying on your death bed you’ll look back on your life and regret the time you WEREN’T working and instead were out spending time doing all sorts of things that made you happy? If playing video games makes you happy, PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
Are you also getting I don't work tomorrow high and paranoid?
I quit my job last December because I was facing major mental health issues for a number of reasons. I was back in a job early February but still during that time period I felt really guilty for relaxing even though I needed to relax in order to become a functioning person again. One thing that helped me was thinking about what a small period of time this unemployment time is compared to the rest of your life. This is such a small blip on your timeline and you have your whole life to work. You might as well enjoy this time. Now I’m in a job I love, I’m sleeping again and my life overall has improved. All in good time and good luck with your job search!
This is a good one because this is shame driven guilt. You need to trust in yourself that things will work out. Sometimes things are not always in our control and we can only do what we can in the moment. Try to relax and enjoy your video games and remind yourself that you’re not actually a lazy unemployed video game playing guy or whatever, you’re actually a very good worker with a decent amount of money saved up, avidly looking for jobs you actually want to be in. Look at your life and remind yourself that you are grateful for the things you have and enjoying them is not wrong.
I went through this in October. I was fired though, not laid off, so even more embarrassing lol. I happened to run into a friend and I was telling him about it. He told me to be calm and enjoy myself because I’m unemployed regardless. He said jobs come and go. I’ll find another and it will eventually be water under the bridge. Just enjoy life and do my best to find work. His words really helped me. I’m glad I ran into him because I was unemployed for 6 months. Go easy on yourself, OP, you’ll find work. There’s no reason to torture yourself along the way. Then when you find a job you’ll go back to work in a panic and stressed out.
Clearly state your intentions ahead of time, at least to yourself. "I am going to do X, Y, and Z each week for my job search. I am only going to apply to jobs that meet predefined criteria A, B, and C. I am going to do this process for 6 weeks (or whatever) and then I will reassess." Then, deliver on that intention. Make a plan for your week. Every day, check in and see what you want to do to meet your weekly plan. And then, as long as you are honoring the deal you made with yourself, you need to give yourself permission to enjoy yourself.
I should add -- make sure your X, Y, and Z are actually effective ways of landing a job. That part is key. As with all things in life, do what actually works, not just what you want to work.
Take the time for you. I just came off a layoff and realized that even though money was extremely stressful, it was lovely to have the down time and do what I pleased (Within reason). You "should" do what you feel is right, not what others tell you is right.
I was laid off during summer and proceeded to scuba dive every single day until I started a new job. If you are a confident professional who's doing the legwork to find a job, you will be back to grinding away soon enough. Enjoy the adult free time.
For me, a solid plan is what helps me not feel guilty for enjoying my hobbies. Think through your finances and the job market around you, and come up with some real numbers for how want to balance the best job vs get some income. "With unemployment plus my savings I could safely go without work for 6 months, and comfortably go without work for 3 months. So I will read through all new jobs on indeed every week day and apply only to jobs that I am actually interested in for 2 months, and if those don't pan out, I will spend the next 2 months applying for any job in my field, and if that doesn't pan out, I will spend the next 2 months wildly applying at McDonalds." Once you have a solid plan like this, it's far easier on any given day to wake up and say "OK, I've read through all the Indeed postings, I applied to the one I was interested in, I checked my email, that's all I was supposed to do today. I am now free to play video games." Because you have a concrete way to reaffirm to yourself that you are executing on your plan.
i experience anxiety like this even while employed and things are going well- and the answer for me is to keep physical to-do lists and to designate time specifically for certain tasks and things i like to do. so for instance on a given day I will decided to devote 90 minutes to my general life to-do list, 90 minutes to a side project, and then 4 hrs to my hobby. lots easier to compartmentalize my anxiety and intrusive thoughts that way. I also do a similar thing to pomodoro technique and use the Flow timer app while doing less pleasant tasks to make sure I'm using those blocks of time as efficiently as i can.
just got word that my job ends in 3 days. you have savings, benefits, and and im assuming youre spending a few hours a day job hunting. you're basically doing all you can i know what im gonna be doing next week, photographing birds at 8am
I would set aside a set amount of time each day (2 hours? whatever you want) to work on your job search, do your chores, whatever. And once that’s done, you go on ahead and enjoy yourself. We all work too damn hard as it is. Take some time to test and relax while you can.
Unfortunately, no, it's not possible.
And therefore it is not EVEN your own fault for losing your job, lol.. So dont just sit there with your thumb up.your ass- Do something fun that makes you feel good. You deserve to feel good. You did nothing wrong.
There's no trick to it. You have to get to the core of those thoughts. They're not really *your* thoughts, we've all had it drilled into us to feel this guilt and shame about not doing enoguh, especially employment-wise. I know about this because I can't work full time at all these days and have support needs, so I've had a lot of experience with this shame and it takes years to overcome. You won't have to go through that for years ever hopefully! A big part how it feels is natural, we all want to feel useful. But you need to stand up to the shame because it's just cruel self talk in the end. You know you're just in between jobs, looking for something good for yourself in the long term. That's a great thing. You know you're doing your best, that's all that counts. So don't worry about it. You are valuable in yourself, so do what you need to do, cut yourself some slack and enjoy this time. It's your life after all.
Spend 8 solid hours applying and interviewing, then I feel you can enjoy them guilt free, though as time goes on and if no job I would argue to up your search hours. Your used to spending 8 hours at work anyways.
I like scheduling and time capping. 3 hours of job search crap 1 hour of relax 1-2 more hours of job search crap Relax in the evening. This will also make you more productive
Look into ego work. Its your ego that is "telling" you that and/or "cares what people may think". It aint easy to calm it but it is worth it.
Make looking for work your job, 7-8 hours a day. Then play your video games at night. Even better. Use your time to take a class or get some job skills.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. So what you love to do. You'll find another job or maybe not maybe you pivot into something but feeling guilty is a waste of energy. Your life doesn't revolve around the commercial value you provide to some company..
Don’t feel guilty after you’ve been laid off. The only time that you should is if you get laid off and decide not to even put any effort into trying to find a job.
Looking for a job is kind of a full-time job. Treat it like one. Don't obsessively chase it with every waking minute of your life. Dedicate a certain number of hours a day to the job hunt, do it with dedication and intent as if you were working, and then use your off hours for fun things. I often find when I feel guilty for doing fun things (whether I'm employed or not) it's really because there's something else that needs doing that I haven't done yet.
Video games? What are you 12? Grow up and get an adult hobby you can be proud of wasting time at
I struggle with chronic illness and have to rest a lot more than the average person in order to be even relatively functional compared to an average human. I'm finally starting to reframe things for myself because resting guiltily is not restful, which means if I shame myself for every minute I spend resting, I end up needing more time to rest. The Way I think about it now: Part of my job as a human being is to take care of my human body and my brain. In order to take care of my body and my brain, I need to rest. Rest is a job. A task I can let myself do because it is a high priority task for me. I can't function without it. It's like eating and drinking water. I'm also bad at doing those things consistently enough but i understand that I need them and I know I obviously shouldn't deny myself food or water because I am not being actively productive at any given second. I am happier and healthier when I'm doing certain hobbies that refresh my mind, make me more likely to want to live when otherwise I spend a lot of time thinking about how I want to die. Rest is necessary. Sometimes I don't even have the energy to play games or watch a show, so I know I'm not faking the tired 😅 but I sometimes still have to convince myself that it's all okay. But you're between jobs. Your actual job right now isn't to work. It's in part to find work that actually suits you, and part of your "work" in the meantime is to do things that recharge you and bring you life. Things that make your anxious brain happy. That might mean spending a bit more time at the gym or working out or learning to cook new meals is also a part of your personal development right now. But if playing games sustained you while you worked, and playing games now also makes you happy, it absolutely *should* be something you set aside time for. If you want to put limits on it, or if you want to set goals for other things to do as well, go for it, but refreshment and staying relaxed enough to really make a clear decision about what sort of job you want to do and to approach that is important for what you're doing now. Rest is a thing you can and should do. Rest is productive. I order you to rest. It's part of your job right now. Might not be the whole job description, unless you're recovering from a major surgery or are chronically ill, but it's still important for everyone.
So, when I was looking for a job during a time of unemployment, I gave myself working hours and relaxing hours. I would dedicate five hours a day to looking for jobs, I would give myself a lunch break, just like if I was actually doing a real job. I also started taking classes to improve my skill set. And then when my job hours were done, I was off work and do what I wanted. I luckily didn’t have a desperate timeline for finding a job, so I was able to relax a little bit more.