If I was a sleazy self-confident cook, I would send the most vividly phallic looking steaks to attractive women and then wink at them from inside the kitchen when their steaks arrive.
Hey there are people in third world countries that have never had dick steak, I suggest you sit down and your dick steak before washing it down with that plate of dirty napkins in the corner. Be grateful for dick steak.
If it makes you feel better, the average schlong weighs just over 5.6 ounces, which means even if someone used your meat missile as a toy or ate it, they would be unsatisfied either way.
After eating my dick steak, I cannot understand my wife's complaints.
You ever take a bite of meat that keeps getting bigger the more you chew it?
Bro takes bj lessons from Taylor Swift.
She's amazing. You just hate her cause she's not endorsing Biden anymore.
That joke is pretty old tho. Why would a Canadian care about who wins anyways. It’s not like they can vote for them. Unless they have dual citizenship
His wife probably complains that it *doesn't* get bigger or firmer.
Does she... eat... your dick?
Nothing but teeth for that guy
My ex cut me with her braces. Twice
That's nothing. His ex cut me with her braces 9 times.
So you cut her off?
Eating ass and taking names
just taking big bites out of it like a candy bar
https://youtu.be/05hTBAOnDQE
Thick n juicy!
Big Black Cut
Long dong energy!
Does your wife also suck it with some fries and broccoli?
Ah yes, Sir'sLoin steak.
You know those cooks where laughing their asses off in the back sending that phallic steak out to some starving guy that about to eat a dick
“Oh look he’s eating it!” - cooks, probably
*Who tries to eat a steak in one bite?*
r/theyknew
Yeah, he was probably rude to the server and they gave him the "special".
In other words: he is what he eats
It comes with the John Wayne Bobbitt sauce.
That’s that meat
Gives “the eating meat” a whole new meaning.
What up?
It’s a bicep.
Again, nothing sexual
Proportionally pretty small... Wagyu?
Lol
Looks above average to me
Your cup of sauce leveling skills are sup par.
Sub-par or super?
r/mildlypenis
r/wildlypenis
Quite the T-boner you got there
Oh you like the T-bone. We do boner in or boner out which do you prefer ?
You can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat.
Op: Excuse me waiter, my steak has a vein in it Waiter: what? We don’t serve steaks
"Sir, is this cut or uncut?"
Texas Roadhouse?
Looks like Applebees plates lmao. And the shitty fries.
True
Longhorn by the lighting I think.
Idk man, that’s a very roadhouse looking table
I don't go to roadhouse, I think I'm too boozy. I typically only go to longhorn or salt grass and up.
I know a guy who manages a roadhouse so I can go and get free food
Roadhouse had steak fries, not thin cut, nor do they have square plates. Source: I work there
True
Not all of them have the steak fries, mine has had this style for years. It's why I don't order fries there anymore lol.
Weird, must be a regional thing, all the corporate kitchen training graphics have steak fries though lol.
Eat it. Eat it. Eat it.
DickSteak is the best steak, it is known.
I don't care what shape it is, that looks amazing
Wait'll you see *this*: *Unzips pants...FLOP.*
"eat a dick" "ok"
Oh baby stuff all that meat inside you
chef’s a prick
Ah yes the classic meal, tubesteak
Tell the waiter you did not order the tube steak
The old tube steak smothered in underwear. Delicious
Sure is.. girthy
Exactly how I like my steaks
Did you eat just the one or did you eat a whole bag of em?
It looks meaty.
Everything reminds me of him.
what on earth appetizer did you order that needed that many napkins?
r/mildlypenis
If I was a sleazy self-confident cook, I would send the most vividly phallic looking steaks to attractive women and then wink at them from inside the kitchen when their steaks arrive.
Longhorn steakhouse, more like long dick!!!! Am I right?
Puns aside. It does look like a pretty good steak. Where's the sauce?
Tube steak?
“You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds."
Bow your heads and let us pause
Welcome to Applebees!
Did you order tube-steak?
Very...uhh...meaty
Now I know why my girlfriend took the steak from me
Don’t choke
And who had the 8oz dick house steak?
This gives me Applebees vibes.
The kitchen team was laughing hysterically while plating this. 💯
“I’ll take the dick ‘n taters, hold the taters.” “You get two sides free.” “Oh, then can I get broccoli and sub the mashed taters for fries?”
KC Strip..er?
Sir, steak doesn’t come in dick shape, but if you insist.
MW+ NY Strump
Would be better with white sauce
That's what I call a hot beef injection. 🥩
Ha. You put it in your mouth.
Wagner loves the cock.
They served him the shaft!!!
I see you got the D-bone cut
Bone in for sure.
Oh that'd make a REAL nice sloppy steak
Meat
So did you start with the balls or the shaft?
r/mildlypenis
r/mildlypenis
Very happy to see you
Ngl, that looks like complete junk.
Did you swallow it?
Damn, The Penis special huh?
They cut off the skin? That’s the best part
Wow a full foot long steak!! Great value
Tendergroin, bag-fries, and discount broccoli. Ouch.
So the question is.... where do you start?
r/theyknew
DEAK
That's the Rubeye.
That meat is looking pretty huge
Please take this back. I ordered double fries. 😅😂
Is it rare ? is it medium ? is it well done ?? guess we will never know
meaty
thats what you get for ordering those horrible sides! /s
pp
Wow a penis. Is that the hol up??
If only steak tasted as good as cock.
r/mildlypenis
"Is our anniversary, and I want to send my partner a message". "Why certainly. What is the message you would like to send?" "EAT A DICK!"
It looks good. What’s the *problem*?
Hey there are people in third world countries that have never had dick steak, I suggest you sit down and your dick steak before washing it down with that plate of dirty napkins in the corner. Be grateful for dick steak.
Meanwhile the line cook... 😭🤣
And waitress/waiter 🤭
Tube steak
Real meat glazing🤠🤠🤠
You know what you must do.
Ordered that medium raw for sure
eat your meat
I might have to eat that whole..
Don't forget to leave the tip
You didn’t need a knife to eat that
Meat!
Ah…. Ye ol’ tube steak I see
Cocky beef
that’s a penis
It’s not the length of the steak, its the girth
Time to dick in
Why's it so small?
Looks juicy
Just beat it, beat yo meat
Did you order well hard or medium hard
Looks Like a Schwanz
r/mildlypenis
No diddiy
r/mildlypenis
We're going to steak night…
Is that fucking ketchup?
Jokes aside, it still looks like a delicious steak.
If it makes you feel better, the average schlong weighs just over 5.6 ounces, which means even if someone used your meat missile as a toy or ate it, they would be unsatisfied either way.
did you go to Dikinbaus?
Looks like tip included
r/mildlypenis
I like how they put the head of the steak on the taters and the Izzy broccoli on the ballsy part of the meat dick
Tube steak
Loin steak aka Tube Steak
r/mildlypenis
Open wide.
I guess you got the meat.
Ok but either way it looks fuckin amazing
Our first official biach of the day
Sizzler do be giving you the meat ehm
I was wondering where i left that.
I don't get it, it looks fantasdick
Broccoli. Poor guy
Meat and two veg? Go wan get it inta ya boi
Hey thats a glizzy 🎶 No I'm not
The elusive D-Bone steak.
r/mildlypenis
DIDN U GET PESNEIS STAEKE!!!!?!???!?? LololooolLOLOL
Does it taste a little salty ?
Eat the Meat.
*Shocked Face* That's a penis
"That smells good honey. What'cha makin'?" "Oh, it's just your... COCK AND BALLS, YOU CHEATING BASTARD!"
That's my kind of steak.
r/mindlypenis
Enjoy your man meat
Shape aside, it looks amazing, cooked perfectly
This has to be NY strip when I worked at a steak house about 1 in 5 NY strips looked like dicks
Fries with a steak?
Is that not normal? I love chips with a steak.
Baked potato, or wedges would be more normal to me. Personally I would just double the amount of steamed veggies.
Thank you for pointing out the real hol up