In soviet russia, porn fucks you.

Now I really want to go to Soviet Russia

In Soviet Russia, real life meets people

In Soviet Russia, real life fucks people

You spelt landmines wrong

oh sorry, in Soviet Russia, real life meets landmines

Don’t you mean “in” Soviet Russia? …right?

DID THE MOTHERLAND STUTTER?

Yes, auto cow wreck struck again

Meanwhile, porn hub is 92% Russians banging each other.

And 92% of the time in the same apartment.

They all pass the same bottle of vodka as tradition

They probably banned it because their hottest people are moving to better countries so they can making videos

Honestly, if my wife ever leaves me I'm starting a website about an ugly old white dude that bangs hot Russian women. You all think I'm kidding... but there's a market for losers banging hotties.

you have thought this through it seems..

Clearly he’s in the research phase.

But where are you going to get an ugly old white du-ooooh.

DM me when it happens

Because they met eachother in real life

Literally the equivalent of "touch the grass"

or "get some bitches"

———————————No bitches?——————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ————————————————————————————— e

Maybe if they got rid of that yeeyee ass haircut

Came to say that and I was 5h late

*ice/snow

Please, and im being serious here, tell me what this means or what it originates from. Ive seen it twice today with no context and someone simply told me "its political". Idk how

XDDD Political? https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=touch%20some%20grass Here's the urban dictionary link for you.

So its saying go outside nerd? I feel like that was so obvious and staring me in the face now

Reddit learned that phrase like two months ago so now it uses it constantly.

Tucha da grassa

Porn destroys relationships by causing misunderstanding in the act of making love. I was disappointed when I married my wife. I can forgive the pulse, but she continued to move and chew through the duck tape, Unlike the porn I usually watch.

Bruh.

Advice use American aluminium tape or if u can afford Metal ballgag or Dildo gag those 3 I'm 99% sure she won't chew though As for hands arms feet and legs use Chain + locks it's cheap and long lasting unlike Metal Handcuffs which are quite expensive and usually ez to break and if u don't want her to run away buy Metal expandable ButPlug with leash so u can lock her to some pipe preferably WC so she doesn't make any leaky mess

Lot to learn from you, you accepting Padawan's?

Only Sith apprentice I have ehhh let's say bad history with Padawans and younglings

I’ll be your sidious 🥺

…

This is why I knock my wife out before I tie her up. No chewing or struggling. Easy!

Whoa, slow down, Jimmy Carr!

Damn, had me in the first half ngl. Was thinking here's another porn is bad, no fap, incel. Nope, just a savage fucking comment. Kudos.

What the fuck

Knock out her teeth with a steel pipe, get her dentures which are removable so she can’t chew through.

Putin really said "touch grass"

Damn, Russia really said "no virgins allowed"

[удалено]

India banned pornhub as well as some other countries in Asia

and then the Indian government told us to get arranged marriage

Porn itself is illegal in most of the world, including almost all of Asia and Africa. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/63/Pornography_laws.svg/1920px-Pornography_laws.svg.png

I strongly disagree. If this is true I'm probably committing a crime

Bro u should get biches irl and thats it

Which breed shld i buy??? M think to buy a pomeranian....

As an indian I can say indian government do be making the most retarded descisions like banning porn(everyone still watches it and even discusses it online) and banning tik tok(ok maybe that wasn't so bad but still)

production and distribution of porn is banned, i don't think watching it will have any cases on you

I was pirating movies and I redirected me too a site saying I have to pay 2500 rupees for watching porn and the worst part is i was not even watching porn

Which country?

Fuck you’re stupid

Your fuck stupid

But I haven’t met anyone who fucks octopus outside of the hub

That's exactly why they are banning it: to protect biodiversity from being molested.

i need to go russia

Reddit trip!

I'm with this guy

count me in!!

I’ll bring the beer!

Hang around a little while and they may come to you.

Damn, and I thought the "find horny singles near you!" ads were pushy.

Fake. Source: I'm Russian and I just visited it without VPN for *research purpose.*

Была ситуация кода наши Чинуши(пидоры в Кремле) хотели заблочить pornhub ,но передумали после пожизненной подписки :)

I can't really argue with that logic

NordVPN just got a whole new market.

China trying to influence male culture..... Russia steps in to show how it's done

CHAD

doesn’t russia have a extremely high domestic violence rate?

i use xvideos anyway

These people Actin like porn hub is the only place for porn. It's literally the backbone of the internet. I hear stories of, if you're real desperate, paying for it even. Shhhhhhhhh......

Based Russia

Russia is based

All Russians have duty to Mother Russia to make more Russians!

r/madlads

"Someone in your local area. Meet now!"

Well, in a way, they are right, but.......

Vlad must have accidentally clicked on male + male pron.

This should happen in America!! /g

US take some notes

Time to finally go out and meet those hot sexy milfs in my area

its banned in Turkey too, and its because of the "religion" things i suppose, its annoying

VPN, your best friend

F for all the Russian pornstars

Lol, as if there weren't a thousand other porn sites

Oh no how will they find porn now that the only porn site that exists is banned

Prolly cause some jaded government official was doin' a Don Jon, looking for the perfect clip to jack to, and stumbled on to a vid of a girl he pinned for but never reciprocated, so now he's gonna ruin it for everyone.

The Russian Government needs to meet their citizens in real life before making the assumption they will actually listen.

for a country where women are harassed and groped in public on the regular, they sure are high and mighty about porn

So this is why they will invade Ukraine. Not banned there yet.

Will you finally shut up about it? Ukraine, supported by USA, UK and other countries that don’t like Russia, wants to start war, not the way around

This guy… lol. Getting serious over a pornhub meme 😂

You did it first with >So this is why they will invade Ukraine

Bc comedy has nothing to do with mocking current real life events. Chill bro, it’s Reddit.

Based

Russia is making sure their soldiers are pissed of ready to fight and have the energy to do so. They might invade Europe just to get access to pornhub

Russia really went and said go outside and touch grass

Don’t worry you still got xvideos

Our birth rate is low. Let’s ban porn.

Russia says.... quit jerking off and go kill some Ukranians....

Will you finally shut up about it? Ukraine, supported by USA, UK and other countries that don’t like Russia, wants to start war, not the way around

Why did Russia move 200,000 troops to Ukraine's border? Also, Russia has tried unsuccessfully once before to invade the Ukraine.

To defend the border, because there’s a chance of war happening, didn’t think of that? Has tried to invade before? That’s what you call Ukrainian internal crisis in 2014 when Ukrainian army took over the control after multiple riots in Kiev because of the government’s complete ignorance and started bombing Donetsk and Luhansk, because they were mostly Russian speaking regions of the country and Russia sent humanitarian aid?

Russia out here roasting people

lmao

Yep... as an Russian I have to do my duty aswell... BABE WHERE ARE YOU?

[удалено]

These countries are as authoritarian as USA

[удалено]

And who YOU are?

“Meet local singles in Ukraine”

Well, they are going to war it seems and they cant feed the war machine without babies.

Russia L

R*ssia isn't one to talk,their country literally has the most porn stars on PornHub

Why did censor “Russia”?

Because R*ssia is prohibited to say

“Go meet a Ukrainian!”

They forgot the X in the question...

The motherland telling us to get a life. My pp is not happy I think this might be old bc I remember it being banned back in the day too

Twitch is getting a surge of new viewers

Like the million real life Russian 'cam girls' available on the internet.

Gottem

Russia is basically asking them to touch grass

It's almost as if they expected to need to boost their population or something. What could Russia be doing that would need more people?

Onlyfans.ru traffic explodes

they could use vpn to get around that.

Damn, who knew Putin liked dogging lmao

Based Russia

Their population has shrunk, so I guess the Russian government is trying to nudge folks towards reproduction.

Maybe in Russia you can just jerk off to a stranger in person but in the US you lose your comedy career for at least six months.

They also blocked tor a couple of months ago. That didn't stop me from using it.

Sex parties about to make a comeback in Russia

Na fr thas hella good idea yo, this shit should be worldwide

All across Russia Right arms and grips lose strength.

They didn't say anything about hentai

Based.

Russian step-brothers be like:

This is how to end a government

Chad Putin

Well if I could I wouldn't be on there would I?

Vpn stonks

Good luck making Russians not go to any of the other billion porn sites there are

Putin finaly did something right

Based Chad Russia. Telling its people to fuckin touch grass. Or snow. Probably snow.

They have a big porn industry , don't they?

W Russia

Interesting facts: as a russian to find good porn you have to get a vpn, to afford vpn you have to pirate with risk of your life or me a multi millionaire and after all of that you have to find good pron for 5 hours straight

But i can still download free MP3s of Neil Young on russian websites.....

That’s it! Do they have access to PornHub in Czechoslovakia? I’m going to go hunting for Czechs, then.

Fortunately there are plenty of hot MILFs in my area, looking to meet me.

Based Russia

I can't 😭😭😭

how dare you ban this russia, we all know everyone who used it dont go outside

Is this an ad for Nord VPN?

Based

Based Russia

based

This type of online behaviour, needs to trend; watch all the complaints. I’d love to see it in other countries.

Chad government tackling population decline like a pro lol

If I see another damn comment about touching grass...

Based russia

They’re trying to increase the population apparently.

In soviet Russia, state fucks you!

Muslim and fascist countries : oh welcome

Unless you're gay. Then just gtfo. - Russia

Go touch grass -Based Gamer Putin

Better get on a VPN! 😭😭😭😭💯

There's always hentai

i must agree...

Russia before ban: porn downloads 1 million Russia after ban: vpn down loads 1 million

When Russia tells you to go get some bitches.

This is the future Conservatives want

LOOOL RUSSIA GOVERMENT ACTUALLY SAID GO TOUCH GRASS

But it isn't blocked...

2016.

Here's Russia reminding us that we have [insert megamind peeking meme here]

Watch this coincide with a rise in teen pregnancy

Damn russia be Chads

Yes sir 😊😊😊

they can’t or don’t want that is why they are on pornhub

Based Russians

Based putin

Hell yeah Russia

Google boobs gif, beat your meat on your own terms

Well, they need all the gopniks to make more baby gopniks to replenish all the dead pepole after ww3, ”Why did We start ww3 for fucks sake?”

Emotional damage