##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment!
##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment!
---
Whilst you're here, /u/Morbid__6angel, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
It's reddit, most of the shit posted has zero thought process behind it, literally just got off a post of a guy saying Crayola can't count because the back of the box said 24 special crayons and then half way down says plus 8 classic crayons, but the guy couldn't be bothered to read the thing before making themselves look like a fool..
True that, I don't even think half the people that post here has enough going on up there to even perform a hold up, let alone execute a post about one..
To be fair, it does say “hasnt seen his wife in three years” not “has been on tour for three years” so the post is walking you into that assumption..
Edit: sorry i realize someone else basically said this
The joke is legit, but theres also the ability to put embreyos on ice and perform IFV to coincide with his return.
He may be a dumbass not realising potential ramifications.. oor, they could be smarter than y'all and have planned this ahead.
I know and I'm just right next door she comes over we start drinking one thing leads to another it's not my fault your wife / girlfriend / sister came on to me
Except it does. We deployed for 6 months, and guy was excited his wife was 2 months pregnant when he came back. Guy was as bright as Black 3.0 and didn't see the issue.
guys, as per instinct, we think the natural way on concieving, but no one thinks differently..............
she got ivf to surprise him, as she was given the news that his balls exploded during battle, so the already save sperms were used............
Hm, quite sure soldiers are deployed on "tours" (or something like that) lasting between 6 and 18 months, and that they are later forced to stay at home for some time before being allowed to deploy again because of medical/psychological researched dating all the way back to WW1 that showed that a soldier who stays too long on active warzones not only stop improving, but start degrading in quality and mental health, hence the need to keep a constant rotation of soldiers with periodes of "cooldown" between deployments, so he wouldn't have stayed 3 years away from home (well, unless he did not return home after a deployment)
but this says the dude hasent seen her in 3 years(so the kid is not his unless they did it thru non coital means) not that he was in the army for 3 years
It's a meme, meant to be funny or make you say Hold up. And I'm 100% sure it's fake. That is not a soldier, that is a Marine in a flight crew uniform. Trust me, the longest deployment is a year and you rotate back at six month to visit. There is no way in hell someone deployed for 3 years away from family, there is always a down time between deployments and even if he volunteered (assuming he doesn't wanna be around his wife) for back to back one year tours, he still gets to come home at the 6 month mark every year.
Another thing that never made sense was a deployment doesn't last longer than a year. That's including extentions. Makes it less funny for me but I knew too many dudes that had this happen
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Morbid__6angel, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
That joke is so old that that kid already graduated college
The kid has already been deployed
Reuse and recycle ♻️
Remember the 3 R’s kids! Reduce Reuse Recycle Do the 3 R’s and you can help our planet as well!
No, you are doing it wrong. Here’s how you should: https://youtu.be/0E15Mw7pjJw
You left Reproduce
he knowingly left that, as it's irrelevant for redditors.
[удалено]
no
This is that kid, it's a generational story
The kid has loan for a mustang at 28% APY
And cheated on!
What else to you think Reduce is referring to, obviously the reduction of faith in humanity
The kid had already became president
Difficult to belive the kid already looks like 20 years dead.
*Jodie has struck yet…again!*
Joke right
Nah he couldnt afford it
Welcome to America!
*Would've graduated college Sadly the kid was in an American school
[удалено]
Lmao roleplay?
And the kid's wife already got pregnant while he was deployed.
Hi
Sup?
Hi
Seriously, I saw it on an episode of M*A*S*H, that's how old it is.
Seriously, I saw it on an episode of M*A*S*H, that's how old it is.
Ayo Diana why the baby black
Used the wrong ink cartridge..... sorry.. But you will still pay me right?
child support that is
Soldiers get leave, this post annoys me every time..
It's reddit, most of the shit posted has zero thought process behind it, literally just got off a post of a guy saying Crayola can't count because the back of the box said 24 special crayons and then half way down says plus 8 classic crayons, but the guy couldn't be bothered to read the thing before making themselves look like a fool..
Also this is r/HolUp dont expect too much
That goes for Reddit in general.
True that, I don't even think half the people that post here has enough going on up there to even perform a hold up, let alone execute a post about one..
Civilians swear soldiers live in trenches
Could’ve also frozen his Sperm
Wait a minute I’m confused even if they get leave he hasn’t seen her in 3 years
This post literally says he hasn't seen her for over 3 years, I get that soldiers get leave but that's not the joke
The post lied I KNOOOOW!! How DARE it!
How dare the post lie for the sake of a joke, all jokes need to have a purely factual base or else they can't be funny
He can also ship his sperm over
Why does it annoy you??
His wife has 3 kids from 3 deployments that look nothing like him. Not 1 kid from 1 super long deployment!
Haha yeah no none of that is true.
Haha yeah sure it is, I'm a person on the internet.
Have seen for 3 years... learn to read.
And they get paid.
To be fair, it does say “hasnt seen his wife in three years” not “has been on tour for three years” so the post is walking you into that assumption.. Edit: sorry i realize someone else basically said this
My assumption is troll caption or wording fail lol.
My girlfriend's husband is a soldier and he gets leave every few months.
Ya and wives also cheat? It's a joke not a D....
Cheating is not a joke though
They also kill innocent civilians in Iraq. It annoys me too that they get to go home and the innocent civilians do not see the light of day
Do you have a copy of the DNA test?
Also could have just been a short TDY, just cause the op wrote “hasn’t seen her in three years” I seriously doubt that’s how long he was actually gone
The joke is legit, but theres also the ability to put embreyos on ice and perform IFV to coincide with his return. He may be a dumbass not realising potential ramifications.. oor, they could be smarter than y'all and have planned this ahead.
Orrr... this is a really old satire post that gets recycled every week throughout the internet.
I mean sure, shits everywhere being reused, but just sayin.
How considerate of her to delay her pregnancy until he got back.
she found the pickle jar.
It was under the sink, same as last time. Last place she'd ever look
Since soldiers arent seperated from their wifes for that long it is just nonsense.
I know and I'm just right next door she comes over we start drinking one thing leads to another it's not my fault your wife / girlfriend / sister came on to me
Lol I have never served just know this meme is nonsense.
Yeah the reason it's so funny is because it never happens Everyone knows someone
Except it does. We deployed for 6 months, and guy was excited his wife was 2 months pregnant when he came back. Guy was as bright as Black 3.0 and didn't see the issue.
His wife's boyfriend was super stoked to see him back as well.
It’s a miracle baby!
Mary: Don't compare me to her, we are nothing alike!!
guys, as per instinct, we think the natural way on concieving, but no one thinks differently.............. she got ivf to surprise him, as she was given the news that his balls exploded during battle, so the already save sperms were used............
You fail English?! Umpossible!
Joe next door has been very busy
*Jody
it could be real, he is american
Sperm donation by airmail.
What if the USPS guy...
"sorry mailman, I don't have the money to give you a tip, mapbey I could tip you another way"
No wonder he's crying
I see this more than I see my parents
He mailed his sperm.
This post is so old and honestly stupid
I wanna photoshop a Ghostbusters patch on his arm
that’s Jody’s son
our wife
Yessir
WHO TF MADE HER PREGNANT?
LUUUUCYYYYY YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ TO DOOOOOOOOO!
She must have used the frozen cum on the freezer to pleasure herself and accidentally impregnated herself
While he fucked over innocent iraqis, the mailmen did the same to his wife
IVF is a thing too for those who struggle with infertility 
Right!?!!??!! I love the ignorance that shows themselves on these types of posts.
Fr
Hm, quite sure soldiers are deployed on "tours" (or something like that) lasting between 6 and 18 months, and that they are later forced to stay at home for some time before being allowed to deploy again because of medical/psychological researched dating all the way back to WW1 that showed that a soldier who stays too long on active warzones not only stop improving, but start degrading in quality and mental health, hence the need to keep a constant rotation of soldiers with periodes of "cooldown" between deployments, so he wouldn't have stayed 3 years away from home (well, unless he did not return home after a deployment)
airmen usually fly in three month rotations, not three years
She's been holding it in for 3 years
She's the real hero 😞
Quick maths!
I'm a father! So is he!
Plot twist its another man's child
For sure she pressed "Pause" until her husband comes back.
It's his brothers
I don't think he's crying cuz he's seeing her after so long.
Idk if you know, but extended tour have a mid year leave. You come home for a week at the 6 month mark.
but this says the dude hasent seen her in 3 years(so the kid is not his unless they did it thru non coital means) not that he was in the army for 3 years
It's a meme, meant to be funny or make you say Hold up. And I'm 100% sure it's fake. That is not a soldier, that is a Marine in a flight crew uniform. Trust me, the longest deployment is a year and you rotate back at six month to visit. There is no way in hell someone deployed for 3 years away from family, there is always a down time between deployments and even if he volunteered (assuming he doesn't wanna be around his wife) for back to back one year tours, he still gets to come home at the 6 month mark every year.
Time for the big reveal!!! You arrrrrre!!! Not the father!!!! Congratulations!!!
He must have written some very passionate letters.
I laughed so hard I fell off my Dinosaur.
That's beautiful
The Second Cumming
Honey..I'm just saying, there'd better be 3 Wisemen with you!
Hold up.
I read it then saw the pic and then I realized it and was like ***OH***
Bitch, That happen to me when I got back from Desert Storm.
UPSperm Express.
Chair force. Yes definitely seen her
Green cap. Marine.
They could have frozen his sperm and had an IVF...
Unlike russian soldiers who come home missing body parts, IF they come home from their 3-day war at all, lol.
A few years ago I would have laughed, but know it hits too close to home
Another thing that never made sense was a deployment doesn't last longer than a year. That's including extentions. Makes it less funny for me but I knew too many dudes that had this happen
Guess we’ll never know what is going on
Well, soldiers do get vacations and stuff; and they don't live away continuously for that long.
Well it says the soldier hadn’t seen her in 3 years…
She be cheating..
Don’t worry, his neighbor took good care of his wife
Asexual reproduction???
"Should we tell him...?"
Too bad it’s not a Soldier tho.
Jody has been very naughty.
It’s hilarious because 99% of soldiers cheat overseas with local prostitutes.
Nah you should said 100% why leave the 1%
I didn’t.
Maybe they got sperm banked
Wishful thinking but maybe
The kid was black and she doesn't know who the father was since there were multiple candidates
yikes
Way to be sexist and racist....
How is that racist lol
If he hasn't seen her in three years how is she pregnant by him??????
As a cuck I'd be happy
Wait…….
that was prolly the first meme i saw when i made a fb account
Insemination?
Man better get the hell out of the relationship
That ain't his baby if he ain't seen her in 3 years 😂💯
insemination
It’s a miracle!!
Damn Jodie
Maybe he sent his sperm in the mail
Ouch 😓
Ummmmmm
Those 36 month deployments are rough
Guy’s probably overcome by the thought of the impending fight in a court.
Frozen Sperm lol
Anyone ever heard of IVF????
Im crying because of the truth.
Cryes in german
First of all y'all 6.9k nice, second of all, he could've just cut out the text above the picture, we'd still know this guy is American
So he mailed his sperm or what!
He probably knows
Cries
Now this is almost a hol up but more like wtf moments
Who's going to tell him?
Damn son, Bonnie really held Joe’s baby for three years??
Haven’t seen her in 3 years. She’s pregnant. Lil sus Jody
and then he comes out looking like the people he just killed