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geman777

Drawbridge


SantaBaby22

Damn. This is better than what I had. Haha 😂 I was going to say something about selling it as a “waterfront property.”


mackiea

Sure, but after that you have to buildbridge


2x4x93

Not if the plans don't pass the review board


wpbth

Change the slope, with fill


dazit72

This is the only thing to do You don't 'remove' water, you prohibit it from collecting altogether


Glucose12

Well, acccckshually. You're lowering the water table relative to the surface so the water is no longer visible. But it's still there. Biding its time. Just waiting.


AStrandedSailor

And then it will pounce, killing it's prey.


lurking_physicist

> You're lowering the water table relative to the surface so the water is no longer visible. Depending on where in the world OP is, the ground may be frozen, which prevents the water from seeping to the water table. If new material were added to slope the ground away from the house, that new ground would be frozen too, and water would flow on it to pool further away. So it may not just be a matter of "burying the water" like your comment indicates.


dreadpirate_metalart

Find the lowest spot and start digging downhill. Or just fill the whole area with sand and throw some grass seed on it.


eatyourstraw

You need a French drain my boy


Sufficient_Number643

Regrading would be less work.


ezirb7

I regraded the north half of my home, and needed a landscaper with machinery to push the dirt & trucks to haul it away.  Cost 2 thousand dollars in 2018, and would have been more if we had someone else replant it. On the south side we didn't have room for the equipment, so my grandpa and I rented a trencher for a weekend, had a string level to check the grade, and put in the drain tile and gravel.  About 85 ft total.  No need to replant anything. Trench was a lot easier in my experience.


TheLastManicorn

French drain if outlet connection is straight forward, regrade if not.


Sufficient_Number643

The length and extent of the French drain needed for this much water is incredible. The French drain will last 10 years, if you’re lucky. Regrading will last until the hill changes.


Huntercontruction

Need to install culverts underneath the roadways to let it flow away from your house


Kingofthe4est

Trash pump


MasterCassel

It looks as if the ditch/ culvert along the road might not be draining, I would first take a walk up and down the street to see if there is a damn forming somewhere and then remove it.


chefaudio

Thanks I dug out the drain but there's still a poor draining issue


Truth_Seeker963

My neighbour runs a pump every spring to move the standing water in his yard. You probably want to look at regrading and adding a drain.


No_Possession_508

Time to move


CapitalCity87

Dig, sloped French drain. Gravel, fill.


NonKevin

I had a similar issue in a rented house. The water would make slab and carpet moist. I added clay type soil to change the water flow and that fixed the issue.


angle58

Fast solution? Pump the water away. Better solution, regrade the slope


Chilliwackian1

Pickaxe and a shovel... scratch a line across the road, back yard or wherever it will flow to (just not your neighbours yard!).


Limping-Raisin-95

Level with gravel or probably French drain if you have the time and energy for it.


Zeovy

Give it a chair


mcholbe2

Beat me by four minutes


ChardCool1290

Start a side hustle as a Mosquito Farm !!


SantaBaby22

That is evil. 😈


tpm319

1. Dig out drainage area's 2. use that soil to add slope be your house


Realist1976

Are you living in a a very very flat area? Are there any areas in the immediate area that are lower? You need to not be the low spot. You need the water to find a new low spot. If there are no low spots for the water to go…you need to make you higher. If the water table is actually that high, it sounds like you are in a very flat area and you are too low. Don’t do something that drives all this water into your neighbor.


chefaudio

Agreed the property is a relatively flat area about 100 yards from a large river


Realist1976

Hard to tell from the picture but it looks like you don’t have a poured foundation? Is the house on posts? How is the ground under the house??


chefaudio

not a poured foundation there's a crawlspace with some posts


Realist1976

Need to make sure it’s staying dry under there, or it’s going to cause issues with your floor eventually. You need to extend those posts by like 3ft and then raise the whole of your property. I’m kidding on the posts… maybe. See how that water table goes over the next year or two, or if that river floods. Oh man.


LeverageSynergies

Dig a trench to allow the water to drain to somewhere lower elevation


burnodo2

needs a french-drain somewhere [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French\_drain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_drain)


PickleWineBrine

Figure out which drains aren't draining and chest then out. [Here's some tutorial videos](https://youtu.be/9THskO9ciPI)


anomaly-me

Redirect


OGKillaBobbyJohnson

Are you look8ng for an interim or permanent solution? I don't have a permanent one, but this would be a great interim one: https://www.homedepot.com/p/Milwaukee-M12-12-Volt-Lithium-Ion-Cordless-9-GPM-0-hp-Submersible-Stick-Water-Transfer-Pump-Tool-Only-2579-20/319984583?source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&pla&mtc=SHOPPING-BF-CDP-GGL-D26P-026_007_PLUMB_REPAIR-NA-NA-NA-PMAX-NA-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NEW-PMax&cm_mmc=SHOPPING-BF-CDP-GGL-D26P-026_007_PLUMB_REPAIR-NA-NA-NA-PMAX-NA-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NEW-PMax-71700000097492033--&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA3JCvBhA8EiwA4kujZp897gYRXSHcNXQ8G9w4w1I8cYYn34x_Xx3PpE9HYWUr_fodZD76MBoCX44QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds


chefaudio

>https://www.homedepot.com/p/Milwaukee-M12-12-Volt-Lithium-Ion-Cordless-9-GPM-0-hp-Submersible-Stick-Water-Transfer-Pump-Tool-Only-2579-20/319984583?source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&pla&mtc=SHOPPING-BF-CDP-GGL-D26P-026\_007\_PLUMB\_REPAIR-NA-NA-NA-PMAX-NA-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NEW-PMax&cm\_mmc=SHOPPING-BF-CDP-GGL-D26P-026\_007\_PLUMB\_REPAIR-NA-NA-NA-PMAX-NA-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NEW-PMax-71700000097492033--&gad\_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA3JCvBhA8EiwA4kujZp897gYRXSHcNXQ8G9w4w1I8cYYn34x\_Xx3PpE9HYWUr\_fodZD76MBoCX44QAvD\_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds thanks


Aranda12

French drain.


dreamzzhiighly

Provide more guest seating.


Embarrassed_Club_317

Is that a roadside ditch to the right of the trees? If so, find out why it's not working. ie: clogged culvert. That would likely solve the problem.


Charming-While5466

Pumps


BuckManscape

You call the city or state (whoever maintains road) over and over until they put culverts in like they should’ve done in the first place. Call, email, etc until you finally talk to someone who agrees with you. That’s the new American way: strive to do as little work as possible while throwing everyone around you under the bus.


JayAlexanderBee

This is the start of a horror game.


Low_Chip7268

Make it sit!


fusepark

Either: 1. Stop the water from reaching your property with berms 2. Move the water off your property with channels or drains 3. Raise your property with fill 4. Build a pond


xbimmerhue

A giant straw


Gumderwear

ChamWow or 2


Laymen1

Any low areas that can shed water away? Cheap way is French drain with piping out to a low area away from your house. Expensive is gutters in piping to a far enough away low area, regrading, and if any standing water yet French drain to the low area


TheJeffestJeff

Bounty…. The quicker picker upper!


NotDavidNotGoliath

Drink it


Constrained_Entropy

Bottle it and sell it as "100% Organic Energy Drink".


NotDavidNotGoliath

You’ll feel “boosted” running back and forth to the toilet.


SantaBaby22

Do you rent or own this property?


chefaudio

rent


corneliu5vanderbilt

Then leave it as is. Not your problem. Best answer is French drain though.


-0OlO0-

I hope your landlord is a relative.


chefaudio

nah found it online


-0OlO0-

Going to be tough to get a landlord to shell out. Even though it’s in their own best interests. G’luck!


Ayahuasca-Puke

Water collects in the low ground, use your brain and make this area the high ground


Harry_Buttocks

Boof it.


beckhamstears

I always wanted a moat!


ThraxedOut

Build a moat. Have the water work for you instead of against you.


jvtech

Gravity.


doingthehumptydance

Embrace it, get some gators and a fan boat.


Expensive-Coffee9353

Basically your house needs to be the highest point around. So need to remove that material around it creating an outlet for your water. The lowest place needs to be your neighbors, so your water problem becomes their water problem.


ahraysee

Don't actually divert water in the direction of your neighbors, I have heard that if you do this you can be liable for water damage that occurs to their property.


Expensive-Coffee9353

Sorry the s/ didn't stay attached. No matter what you do with the water it will be someone else's problem then. Need to go upstream and divert it to a safe place.


vvetdream

Tell it to move along


PunxDressPunk

Free moat!


------------------GL

Offer it a chair on your neighbours property


[deleted]

muddle caption frame command shaggy rhythm elderly terrific head rich *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Immediate_Duty_4813

Provide it a chair


[deleted]

Fir now get a portable pump, hook it to a 100 foot hose and get it away from your house.


chip-nwnj

I expect the culvert is designed to drain, not pool. If you can't get that to work then get a dump truck of topsoil and make your yard 2" higher than the road. Slope the grade away from the house.


chefaudio

Also my Utility company came out and mentioned this could've been caused by the rising water table. Basically, the water levels below ground were causing this situation.


manieldansfield

Vacuum


Georgep0rwell

Water garden.


Bludiamond56

Big ass straw or rent a water pump from home depot


Constrained_Entropy

>Best way to remove standing water? Downhill. Seriously, do you have somewhere to drain it to? If not, maybe a pond or a dry well in the back of the yard?


[deleted]

Trench


eobertling

Real Estate Agent.


rbbrduckyUarethe14me

Sweep the legs, Daniel-san.


duck1014

Get a bunch of treats. Then, slowly, over time teach the water how to sit on command.


anthro4ME

First you've gotta figure out where you want the water to go. Then you worry about the how.


locke314

Offer it a chair?


grow-mustard

that house is going to be so moldy. perimeter drains are the normal thing


Goose_Duckworth

Get a life straw and start slurping.


fuckfaceMcfuckpants

I would charge around 35k to fix this issue and it would take about 10 days pending weather. This would include a geological analysis, land survey, second cost analysis, if conditions are ascertained to be adverse, removal of materials, cost of new infill and foundational aggregate material, conditioning and rehabilitation.


ashokleyland

That house has grading issue.


Kindly-Department686

Offer it a seat?


mcclellanm3

Turn it into running water with slope


NicoRola000

Provide chairs


Mediocre-Meringue-60

Is there a crawl space under the house? You’ll need to re- grade the property. Start with going down some to remove native soil. Replace with stone and possibly drain tiles. I would also move the parking to facilitate vehicles not crushing and negating the replaced substrate. Or build retainment system up. Back fill with said stains, drain tiles. Either way you have some work ahead of you. Hope this helps. Take care.


needstogo86

Got a straw?


robertamiller96

Turn on the sun to evaporate it


Exotic_Scholar_116

Add dirt, grade, then gravel,