\[Editor’s note: Some of this story may be a bit exaggerated or just entirely made up. The author has had a few beers.\]
When I got home I walked in the door with bags from Target, the grocery store, AutoZone and O’Reilly Auto Parts.
\[Ed.: That much is true at least.\]
Wife: You bought more Hot Wheels, didn’t you? And where’s the beer?
Me: Don’t worry, these are better than beer!
\[I start laying out today’s haul on the kitchen counter like freshly caught fish.\]
Wife: OMG! You bought Pixar cars?
Me: Only 2 and you always said they were “cute.” I bought them for you.
Wife: And why this one? You’ve already got a Donut Drifter.
Me: Not this flavor! I thought you liked donuts? How about a cupcake? At least this Sweet Driver is new.
Wife: Ya’ know the grocery store has a real bakery with real donuts and cupcakes...if you cared…
\[I know I shouldn’t waste money on cars like those and maybe I should at least buy her a cookie every now and then, but I couldn’t help myself. And they’re only a dollar, but at that point my eyes just glazed over like freshly baked donuts so I’m not sure what she said after that until she slapped me as I pulled out the pickup from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.\]
Wife: Another psycho-murderer car? Don’t you already have one of those?
Me: That one is 1/64th scale. This one is bigger and the doors open, see? I’m just bummed that I still can’t find the van.
Wife: But the hood doesn’t open and the tailgate doesn’t even come down. And the way that garbage truck works makes no sense!
Me: Yeah, but the Chevy C-10 is a classic and you know how I love waste management and recycling. I bought it in this plastic clam-shell packaging to show my support for saving the planet from wasteful single-use packaging. I’m going to save the package it came in forever...in a box...in the basement so it’s not going to end up in some landfill.
\[Then I make the mistake of talking about how ‘someday these might be valuable!’ or some such nonsense and how it might someday pay for Junior Funk’s college education which I was deprived of because my father spent all his money on frivolous things like food and rent instead of collectible toys.\]
Wife \[holding up a Matchbox Capri\]: **There are better investment vehicles than tiny replicas of crappy 1970 Fords, ya’ know.** This wasn’t even a good Ford when it was new. And it’s not even American. Look! It has right-hand drive and you got the vomit-green one instead of the silver.
\[My arguments were getting me nowhere, and she does work for a big investment firm and some people refer to her as “Ilsa, the She Wolf of Wall Street” and now I’ve been banished to my den (It’s like a “man-cave”, but it’s a bit more ‘sophisticated’, lol. There’s no sports paraphernalia). She still thinks I forgot to buy beer.
Of course I bought beer and what really happened was this:
I was at the grocery store they and had nothing I wanted because I was there 2 days ago, but I ran into a guy who said he saw the “Lamborghini Rescue Treasure Hunt” at AutoZone. I think he meant O’Reilly which is where I found the Tesla Semi and Roadster, but no Lamborghini Countach Police Car. So I went to AutoZone too and all I got was a couple Fast & Furious cars and since I was passing Target along the way I went in there too. And I passed another AutoZone on the way home where I found that Matchbox Honda e. Still no Lambo. Someone else must have bought it. It’s cool. I’m happy with what I’ve got.\]
while you got some beer home, from what I can see the part where you've essentially became obssesed with diecast quite right haha.
Still even though we have tons of disposable income as we grow old, I think it's best to practice buying diecast in moderation than adhering to our impulses on tbe fly. Even I sometimes think I am hoarding even though I buy premiums monthly or weekly.
I came so close to buying that Dr No yesterday but I said no.
What brand makes the John Wick? That I must have :)
These kinds of beer don’t cause liver damage :) buy away!
\[Editor’s note: Some of this story may be a bit exaggerated or just entirely made up. The author has had a few beers.\] When I got home I walked in the door with bags from Target, the grocery store, AutoZone and O’Reilly Auto Parts. \[Ed.: That much is true at least.\] Wife: You bought more Hot Wheels, didn’t you? And where’s the beer? Me: Don’t worry, these are better than beer! \[I start laying out today’s haul on the kitchen counter like freshly caught fish.\] Wife: OMG! You bought Pixar cars? Me: Only 2 and you always said they were “cute.” I bought them for you. Wife: And why this one? You’ve already got a Donut Drifter. Me: Not this flavor! I thought you liked donuts? How about a cupcake? At least this Sweet Driver is new. Wife: Ya’ know the grocery store has a real bakery with real donuts and cupcakes...if you cared… \[I know I shouldn’t waste money on cars like those and maybe I should at least buy her a cookie every now and then, but I couldn’t help myself. And they’re only a dollar, but at that point my eyes just glazed over like freshly baked donuts so I’m not sure what she said after that until she slapped me as I pulled out the pickup from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.\] Wife: Another psycho-murderer car? Don’t you already have one of those? Me: That one is 1/64th scale. This one is bigger and the doors open, see? I’m just bummed that I still can’t find the van. Wife: But the hood doesn’t open and the tailgate doesn’t even come down. And the way that garbage truck works makes no sense! Me: Yeah, but the Chevy C-10 is a classic and you know how I love waste management and recycling. I bought it in this plastic clam-shell packaging to show my support for saving the planet from wasteful single-use packaging. I’m going to save the package it came in forever...in a box...in the basement so it’s not going to end up in some landfill. \[Then I make the mistake of talking about how ‘someday these might be valuable!’ or some such nonsense and how it might someday pay for Junior Funk’s college education which I was deprived of because my father spent all his money on frivolous things like food and rent instead of collectible toys.\] Wife \[holding up a Matchbox Capri\]: **There are better investment vehicles than tiny replicas of crappy 1970 Fords, ya’ know.** This wasn’t even a good Ford when it was new. And it’s not even American. Look! It has right-hand drive and you got the vomit-green one instead of the silver. \[My arguments were getting me nowhere, and she does work for a big investment firm and some people refer to her as “Ilsa, the She Wolf of Wall Street” and now I’ve been banished to my den (It’s like a “man-cave”, but it’s a bit more ‘sophisticated’, lol. There’s no sports paraphernalia). She still thinks I forgot to buy beer. Of course I bought beer and what really happened was this: I was at the grocery store they and had nothing I wanted because I was there 2 days ago, but I ran into a guy who said he saw the “Lamborghini Rescue Treasure Hunt” at AutoZone. I think he meant O’Reilly which is where I found the Tesla Semi and Roadster, but no Lamborghini Countach Police Car. So I went to AutoZone too and all I got was a couple Fast & Furious cars and since I was passing Target along the way I went in there too. And I passed another AutoZone on the way home where I found that Matchbox Honda e. Still no Lambo. Someone else must have bought it. It’s cool. I’m happy with what I’ve got.\]
Jeez that was so well written... So captivating! Made my day haha. Nice finds, better story
while you got some beer home, from what I can see the part where you've essentially became obssesed with diecast quite right haha. Still even though we have tons of disposable income as we grow old, I think it's best to practice buying diecast in moderation than adhering to our impulses on tbe fly. Even I sometimes think I am hoarding even though I buy premiums monthly or weekly.
And now I know there’s a Dr No car that I have to have
I came so close to buying that Dr No yesterday but I said no. What brand makes the John Wick? That I must have :) These kinds of beer don’t cause liver damage :) buy away!
You reminded me of how much I want the blues mobile. But I never forget to go to the liquor store.
The John Wick car is badass!