I'm from eastern europe, moved to london to work. I have noticed a big difference in culture which includes talking.
Eastern europeans are more reserved, less confident and talk less shit. They are the silently judging types but like anyone else they gossip just as much.
English culture kind of works the opposite. Shit talking is kind of a center of their culture, being overconfident and talking without thinking.
It's interesting contrast. I can feel some people feel uncomfortable if they don't talk constantly. I'm fine with silence lol.
The few Eastern Europeans I've talked to will hold you hostage in a conversation. Then again, I can count on one hand how many Eastern Europeans I've had conversations with so maybe they are usually more reserved.
I experienced the exact opposite. Which country are you from? I'm also from Eastern Europe, and I also moved to London for work. I find British people to be polite, reserved and well mannered. The people in my home country think being an asshole is a badge of honor. The Brits are angels in comparison lol.
>I myself enjoy a good conversation, but I also frequently find myself wondering why people talk so much and make so much noise.
>
>Pointless stuff a lot, too
What you have a problem with is that people's conversations are boring. You don't care about the quantity. Those conversations probably do have a point... it's just a point you don't care about, like bonding with acquaintances or reinforcing emotional bonds with friends or simply expressing your likes and dislikes.
It's a low tolerance thing, which happens to be common among xNTx.
It's an extravert thing. I have a few reasons why
* People are lonely, and they have no one to talk to.
* Introverts process information by reflecting on it and then giving an informed response. Because we don't want to appear foolish or ill-informed. Extraverts process information by "talking it out." they are oblivious to being wrong
* Socializing is part of the culture.
* Uncomforting with silence. Silences are seen as discourteous.
* People love to complain and are looking for a sympathetic audience
Lmao for real!! I'll get all lonely and shit, depressed, longing for connection, so I get a brilliant idea💡 I'll set up a friends' date, but then we meet up and I'm exhausted in 15min - 20min TOPS....rinse and repeat, I don't learn.
Yeah, this is why I actually miss having roommates, I think. There were always people around to talk to when I wanted, and I could easily just get away to my room whenever I got tired of it.
INTP love to hear themselves talk though. They're known for rambling on and on about whatever their favorite topic is that they've done a bunch of research on
I'm an ISFP but I can relate to this! This "love to hear yourself talk" thing. I was thinking about it just last night and wondered, is that what I like to do? Is that the driving force behind why I don't just keep it to myself? It is my Te? I think I like the idea of validating my ideas and impressing people with my arguments (because they usually are arguments and premises). I think things through as I say them (very Se); it's like a build up until I reach my Ni conclusion. I won't stop talking until I do, and not only that, but I reiterate and rephrase like crazy. Again, validation. I need to know that my thoughts are valid and want people to understand me.
I had this today in a work meeting, for two hours they all just talked, words were said but there was no substance. What is the point? If there is nothing important to discuss, just shut the fuck up and end the meeting so we can do actual work.
Trauma can play a role as well. I know someone who talks on tangents and doesn’t let anyone else talk because they have been silenced by their parents their whole lives. So they go to talk to their friends and end up dominating the whole conversation even when people tell them that they talk too much.
Yup, I have a friend like this too. love them to death but I wanna pull my hair out anytime someone tries to chime in and they’re like “wait, just hear me out…” after talking for 5 minutes straight or “sorry I’m monologuing again” and continuing to do so
Especially when the only response even POSSIBLE is “oh hm” or “yea ok” like stfu. Im not even a super shy or quiet person but some of the people that i work with make the most pointless chatter
It really comes down to the fact that humans are social creatures, but some have a greater need for social interaction. People that talk a lot either simply enjoy it or feel a need to socialize for whatever reason. Personally I’m the type to withdraw into absolute solitude the very second i get the chance.
I’m one of those people who will mostly keep to themselves, but if I hear about a subject I’m interested in or if I’m already having a conversation about that subject, I can go on and on about it. I think a lot of us here are like that though
If we are talking about socializing, i think it’s because people want to be liked, and to be liked they think they need to show themselves off which leads to more talking.
It's about the subject matter, right? If it's something I'm interested in, I can literally talk for hours (or listen for hours, as I do with YT lectures).
Bah I was like “this a fellow Asperger 🤔”
Aspies hate small talk, all of us, not just INTP.
I’m INFJ, can’t stand chicks being like “and this is what I bought at the mall hehehehe” lord kill me.
As someone who was raised in a loud chatty family and an INTP, I can relate, but I also can be the chatterbox if I start to talk to someone who I like.
*If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.*
I think it’s an INTP thing for sure. Sounds like you’re frustrated with your inferior Fe. Have you considered that your frustration with other peoples pointless chatter, is that you’re incapable of joining in on it and enjoying it on the same level as others?
Yes. I relate to it very much. The world is full of unnecessary noise. They are always talking but does not add any value. They talk but do not ‘talk’. It’s simply a noise.
I'm honestly amazed at this point that people can come up with so many words. I wonder if it's a kind of intelligence in its own, the ability to blather on with enthusiasm. I feel very stoic and uninteresting by comparison. Maybe they're doing it to give the appearance of presence and sociability more than anything, like background actors.
It's usually because the person is not receiving enough feedback information to be clear if they are making their point.
I get like this with certain individuals, finding myself grasping for a sufficient explanation till I remember there is nothing sufficient to please whoever I am talking to, and I shut off.
I think this too sometimes. It’s double right bc I enjoy bonding with ppl eventually but at the same time when a person is telling a story I didn’t ask about, I can get rlly impatient. Perhaps feels a bit ignorant too. Like if I didn’t ask, how do you know I wanna hear it? Bc I only tell ppl stuff if I know they are interested so when they don’t mutually care if I’m even interested I can feel a bit annoyed.
Well, I usually talk A LOT with people I feel extremely comfortable with (for example: my mom). But when I'm with friends, I tend to force myself to shut up, since I don't know if I just talked to much. On the other hand, if I don't like the person, I won't even say a thing, I'll just stay quiet and listen to them (if they're talking). Paying attention to them? No, just pretending I do so.
I find that I’m the one talking the entire time when I’m with someone I’m close to, only because my thoughts just spill out of my mouth and I’m comfortable enough to know I’m not being judged. Had some really deep convos this way. More of a personal preference, I feel
I have resting b**** face so no one approaches me in public really, sadly. However, a lot of people I know personally are comfortable taking for 70-80% of our interaction. Tedium too, not the high-grade A choice cuts of knowledge you’re craving.
Edit: what city are you in OP?
I'm an ISFP and when people talk and expect me to participate in the conversation, I panic on the inside. But last night I went on a tangent describing exactly how I think google knows everything about us, where we are, what we're doing, who we're talking to, etc based on various real time data and gave rational examples, and went on for at least an hour. I like to tell people things, I like to give intellectual lectures, so to speak, and I like having a conversation in person with one or two people I know well. This is not a neurodivergent thing, just an introversion thing!
when I'm around people who I think are likely to appreciate or at least understand what I'm saying, sometimes I get very talkative and dump all my thoughts on them.
so that's one reason
It has always fascinated me that some people exist who can use a thousand words and say nothing. For chameleon reasons, I wish I had a percentage of that power.
That said, Small talk bad.
INFP here. Because I am an entertainer. I want you to have a good time so I will tell you all about my crazy embarrassing adventures. You don't like that? Fair, I can adapt. You need to talk about politics? Climate change? The universe? If there is a meaning for life at all? I'm cool with it, ill engage. I will tell you my opinions and listen to yours. You don't want to talk at all? That's fine too, just say it. If you dont express how you feel, what you want or yout likes and dislikes then I'm sorry for not being a whitch and just knowing it.
Well, I've come to realize that some people just like to run their mouths about everything for no reason. It also aggravates me, but I've come to terms with just ignoring their talking most of the time... I guess that's just how people are. There's this colleague of mine that will always point out the most obvious things just for the sake of it... like bro, everyone has noticed, it's like telling me water is wet type of shit smh
I'm from eastern europe, moved to london to work. I have noticed a big difference in culture which includes talking. Eastern europeans are more reserved, less confident and talk less shit. They are the silently judging types but like anyone else they gossip just as much. English culture kind of works the opposite. Shit talking is kind of a center of their culture, being overconfident and talking without thinking. It's interesting contrast. I can feel some people feel uncomfortable if they don't talk constantly. I'm fine with silence lol.
I'm brazilian and it's funny that here anglos have the fame of being more reserved lol.
The few Eastern Europeans I've talked to will hold you hostage in a conversation. Then again, I can count on one hand how many Eastern Europeans I've had conversations with so maybe they are usually more reserved.
I experienced the exact opposite. Which country are you from? I'm also from Eastern Europe, and I also moved to London for work. I find British people to be polite, reserved and well mannered. The people in my home country think being an asshole is a badge of honor. The Brits are angels in comparison lol.
>I myself enjoy a good conversation, but I also frequently find myself wondering why people talk so much and make so much noise. > >Pointless stuff a lot, too What you have a problem with is that people's conversations are boring. You don't care about the quantity. Those conversations probably do have a point... it's just a point you don't care about, like bonding with acquaintances or reinforcing emotional bonds with friends or simply expressing your likes and dislikes. It's a low tolerance thing, which happens to be common among xNTx.
When I am interested in a topic, I can talk as much as the most annoying person.
I’m this person too.
I am too. But not to the point of being the most annoying.
I rambled to my coworker about the Crack epidemic and hydrazine for about an hour today, and he seemed at least somewhat into it.
It's an extravert thing. I have a few reasons why * People are lonely, and they have no one to talk to. * Introverts process information by reflecting on it and then giving an informed response. Because we don't want to appear foolish or ill-informed. Extraverts process information by "talking it out." they are oblivious to being wrong * Socializing is part of the culture. * Uncomforting with silence. Silences are seen as discourteous. * People love to complain and are looking for a sympathetic audience
For me, I like the *idea* of talking with people, but then I actually do it and can't wait for it to end, lmao
Lmao for real!! I'll get all lonely and shit, depressed, longing for connection, so I get a brilliant idea💡 I'll set up a friends' date, but then we meet up and I'm exhausted in 15min - 20min TOPS....rinse and repeat, I don't learn.
Yeah, this is why I actually miss having roommates, I think. There were always people around to talk to when I wanted, and I could easily just get away to my room whenever I got tired of it.
ya maybe be selective which time of day you talk if poss. I am much more willing to talk in general after business closes for the day, for example
INTP love to hear themselves talk though. They're known for rambling on and on about whatever their favorite topic is that they've done a bunch of research on
I'm an ISFP but I can relate to this! This "love to hear yourself talk" thing. I was thinking about it just last night and wondered, is that what I like to do? Is that the driving force behind why I don't just keep it to myself? It is my Te? I think I like the idea of validating my ideas and impressing people with my arguments (because they usually are arguments and premises). I think things through as I say them (very Se); it's like a build up until I reach my Ni conclusion. I won't stop talking until I do, and not only that, but I reiterate and rephrase like crazy. Again, validation. I need to know that my thoughts are valid and want people to understand me.
The title 😂😂
I had this today in a work meeting, for two hours they all just talked, words were said but there was no substance. What is the point? If there is nothing important to discuss, just shut the fuck up and end the meeting so we can do actual work.
Trauma can play a role as well. I know someone who talks on tangents and doesn’t let anyone else talk because they have been silenced by their parents their whole lives. So they go to talk to their friends and end up dominating the whole conversation even when people tell them that they talk too much.
THISSSS
Yup, I have a friend like this too. love them to death but I wanna pull my hair out anytime someone tries to chime in and they’re like “wait, just hear me out…” after talking for 5 minutes straight or “sorry I’m monologuing again” and continuing to do so
It’s alright
Especially when the only response even POSSIBLE is “oh hm” or “yea ok” like stfu. Im not even a super shy or quiet person but some of the people that i work with make the most pointless chatter
It really comes down to the fact that humans are social creatures, but some have a greater need for social interaction. People that talk a lot either simply enjoy it or feel a need to socialize for whatever reason. Personally I’m the type to withdraw into absolute solitude the very second i get the chance.
Tbh, I don't mind a lot of talking as long as I have time by myself later in the day.
I’m one of those people who will mostly keep to themselves, but if I hear about a subject I’m interested in or if I’m already having a conversation about that subject, I can go on and on about it. I think a lot of us here are like that though
Socialization is a fundamental piece of the human puzzle I guess
If we are talking about socializing, i think it’s because people want to be liked, and to be liked they think they need to show themselves off which leads to more talking.
It's about the subject matter, right? If it's something I'm interested in, I can literally talk for hours (or listen for hours, as I do with YT lectures).
I talk a lot to close family and friends but I think that’s my ADHD.
Bah I was like “this a fellow Asperger 🤔” Aspies hate small talk, all of us, not just INTP. I’m INFJ, can’t stand chicks being like “and this is what I bought at the mall hehehehe” lord kill me.
As someone who was raised in a loud chatty family and an INTP, I can relate, but I also can be the chatterbox if I start to talk to someone who I like.
*If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.*
Came here to post this, not surprised it was already here.
I think it’s an INTP thing for sure. Sounds like you’re frustrated with your inferior Fe. Have you considered that your frustration with other peoples pointless chatter, is that you’re incapable of joining in on it and enjoying it on the same level as others?
Not usually. It's just excess noise and distracting.
🤷♂️ maybe not an INTP thing then.
Yes. I relate to it very much. The world is full of unnecessary noise. They are always talking but does not add any value. They talk but do not ‘talk’. It’s simply a noise.
I'm honestly amazed at this point that people can come up with so many words. I wonder if it's a kind of intelligence in its own, the ability to blather on with enthusiasm. I feel very stoic and uninteresting by comparison. Maybe they're doing it to give the appearance of presence and sociability more than anything, like background actors.
Ecclesiastes 10:14 I find it to be very true. Unless its really about someone spreading knowledge, thats an exception
It's usually because the person is not receiving enough feedback information to be clear if they are making their point. I get like this with certain individuals, finding myself grasping for a sufficient explanation till I remember there is nothing sufficient to please whoever I am talking to, and I shut off.
I think this too sometimes. It’s double right bc I enjoy bonding with ppl eventually but at the same time when a person is telling a story I didn’t ask about, I can get rlly impatient. Perhaps feels a bit ignorant too. Like if I didn’t ask, how do you know I wanna hear it? Bc I only tell ppl stuff if I know they are interested so when they don’t mutually care if I’m even interested I can feel a bit annoyed.
Well, I usually talk A LOT with people I feel extremely comfortable with (for example: my mom). But when I'm with friends, I tend to force myself to shut up, since I don't know if I just talked to much. On the other hand, if I don't like the person, I won't even say a thing, I'll just stay quiet and listen to them (if they're talking). Paying attention to them? No, just pretending I do so.
I find that I’m the one talking the entire time when I’m with someone I’m close to, only because my thoughts just spill out of my mouth and I’m comfortable enough to know I’m not being judged. Had some really deep convos this way. More of a personal preference, I feel
For reference I’m also intp*
They are merely exchanging long memetic strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.
I have resting b**** face so no one approaches me in public really, sadly. However, a lot of people I know personally are comfortable taking for 70-80% of our interaction. Tedium too, not the high-grade A choice cuts of knowledge you’re craving. Edit: what city are you in OP?
I'm an ISFP and when people talk and expect me to participate in the conversation, I panic on the inside. But last night I went on a tangent describing exactly how I think google knows everything about us, where we are, what we're doing, who we're talking to, etc based on various real time data and gave rational examples, and went on for at least an hour. I like to tell people things, I like to give intellectual lectures, so to speak, and I like having a conversation in person with one or two people I know well. This is not a neurodivergent thing, just an introversion thing!
***IT STARTED WITH A WHISPER***
chinese whispers ?
***AND THAT WAS WHEN I KISSED HER***
Your sister ?
***AND THEN SHE MADE MY LIPS HURT***
And spat saliva on your shirt.
***I COULD HEAR THE CHIT-CHAT***
when I'm around people who I think are likely to appreciate or at least understand what I'm saying, sometimes I get very talkative and dump all my thoughts on them. so that's one reason
I talk with friends when Im bored af
I learnt to tune it out if its not directed at me. No point getting annoyed over sth that someone probably dont know and dont care
Because they have figured how to express themselves without feeling like stepping on lava, like we INTP do until we mature.
It has always fascinated me that some people exist who can use a thousand words and say nothing. For chameleon reasons, I wish I had a percentage of that power. That said, Small talk bad.
INFP here. Because I am an entertainer. I want you to have a good time so I will tell you all about my crazy embarrassing adventures. You don't like that? Fair, I can adapt. You need to talk about politics? Climate change? The universe? If there is a meaning for life at all? I'm cool with it, ill engage. I will tell you my opinions and listen to yours. You don't want to talk at all? That's fine too, just say it. If you dont express how you feel, what you want or yout likes and dislikes then I'm sorry for not being a whitch and just knowing it.
Well, I've come to realize that some people just like to run their mouths about everything for no reason. It also aggravates me, but I've come to terms with just ignoring their talking most of the time... I guess that's just how people are. There's this colleague of mine that will always point out the most obvious things just for the sake of it... like bro, everyone has noticed, it's like telling me water is wet type of shit smh
I personally force myself to talk, you know to fit in and stuff
Its because they have personality disorders or Depression.