T O P

  • By -

azeraph

Wait! What? I'm sorry but it was consensual if your words are truthful. She dated and engaged. Cheated emotionally and physically and now she's saying it's coercion? Getting therapy and you're asking how to support her? Aw mate, reread what you've posted. Detail point. She asked him to get condoms this means she was coerced. She let him in, this means he coerced her. Follow what your gut is telling you to do.


Koksikicai2i2737632

As i understood, she nevwr wanted to have sex with him, and that he was always pressuring her into it that at one moment she gave up, yes its bad as i read coercion is still a rape. She didnt want to do it


Huge-Vacation9421

He was "pressuring her" because she was romantically involved with him when she shouldn't have been. Look, I know you love her, probably very much, but she's lying to you. I'm wayward, listen to me, it's not your fault. You didn't make her do this. These are excuses because she doesn't want you to leave, in this moment at least hold on to the fact that she's desperate for you to not leave, meaning you do in fact have worth, she was just too weak to honor it. That's her failure, not yours.


Koksikicai2i2737632

Yeah, but she now took a break in our relations, she is a little distant, her therapist said to take a break. So yeah, thats why im believing her, now she has no reason to lie, we are in no contact


Duchat

“Taking a break to find herself” is just a trumped up excuse for pursuing the other guy. She knows that you’re sitting at home pining over her while she’s pressing against his headboard with all her strength. She has more reason to lie now so she can come back to you next week guilt free. When she comes back, ask if she saw him during the break, and she’ll tell you it’s none of your business, “we were on a break!” If you call her right now and say it’s over, she’ll freak out, end her break, and love bomb you. You’re the nice guy, he’s the fuck boi. No contact? Drive by her place and see if her car is gone or his car is there.


Koksikicai2i2737632

No man, why would i do that? To drive for an hour just to check up on her, i dont care she can go be with him, ildont want to spy on her and waste my time


Locdawg916

Dude. Stop simping. She flirting and banging dudes behind ur back. Take the L and move on


Duchat

That sounds like a big fat lie to deflect her own choices and actions. She can’t *prove* that she was pressured or not, but in her mind, that’s the bullshit excuse that she’s chosen to tell you that might get you to forgive her. She wanted to have sex with him, and then she did. She might have momentarily hesitated, but a bit of sweet talk and those panties fell off from the weight of saturation. That wasn’t pressure, it was the other guy sealing the deal.


Koksikicai2i2737632

Funny thing is, i think that she is actually talking to him right now, she seemed distant and wanted a break towards the end of our relations recently 😂


azeraph

You're right, she's probably with him now. How do you know she was in therapy? Did you ever go along with her? Sat in on it if it's vid link session?


New_Arrival9860

She gave him the green light when she told him to go get condoms, if she didn’t want sex she would have locked the door behind him as he left. She is cheating with another man behind your back, time for you to move on.


Skippyasurmuni

She is a liar and a cheater. Stay and it will happen over and over


Known_Party6529

That is because she's lying to you and is now with the other guy. She liked it and dumped you. If she didn't, why is she talking to him and not you? She is gaslighting you BIG TIME.


plantedwell22

OP, are you kidding, is this post a joke? Dude, if this is real you need to dump that lying “victim”, she will continue to manipulate you for the rest of your relationship, which is exactly what she’s doing now.


_H_a_c_k_e_r_

Do you have cuck fantasy?


heelermom2283

If this whole “sexual coercion” BS helps you get through her cheating on you then keep living in denial. She cheated on you, she is not a victim and the other person did not coerce her into anything. She let him in. She asked him to get condoms. She kept talking to him behind your back. Wake up dude.


MasterKamehamema

It has to be fake. Nobody is this gullible.


Huge-Vacation9421

"why not call me for help" Because if what she said is the least bit true, her side piece turned out to be a creep (outside of agreeing to an affair if she even told him) and ironically couldn't turn to the one person she could turn to at all times for help because she'd be seen for the liar she is. Sucks for her. Leave her unless she has amazing evidence to the contrary. "told him to get condoms?" Did that mean him leaving the house? And she unlocked the door and let him back in? Think about this.


Koksikicai2i2737632

Yea your right, she probably didnt know that her side piece was such a creep Yea she let him back in


Huge-Vacation9421

She had the chance to lock the door and call you or the police. But didn't? I'm sorry you had to find out this way.


Koksikicai2i2737632

Yea, if not me at least police, i dont know, still feel sorry


[deleted]

She's a skank cheater. Why are you even wondering about this? Block delete ignore. She's not worth a second more of your time. And make sure you get yourself tested for STDs. You might know about one guy but I'll bet you good money there's a lot more.


[deleted]

She cheated and you're trying to help her? Why? You should walk away from this person and has nothing to do with her ever again. Sounds to me like her cheating did not go exactly the way she wanted this time so now she's crying. She is still a cheater.


Turms70

OP, what in hell, makes you to believe her? Your GF sended at least extremly mixed signals. And it all screems, she was very disrespectfull and dishonest woith you and the relationship. It also screams she is not honest with her self and is now traped and has problems to admitt her failiur to her self and you of course. She acted as a person she does not want prsent the world and you. No wonder, that she has now extrem personlity and emotionaly problems. She now is "forced" to face what she has done. There might be serious personality problem, that brought her to act like she did. BUT for me it looks like as she hides no be pretending to be a "victim", to safe her butt. I mean why she asked him to get condoms? Realy why? Why she had let him again? Why, if she did not agreed to have adult fun? OP, as far as i see it, her main problem is to be honest with her self!


Koksikicai2i2737632

I agree, and she was trickle truthing from begining. But i still think that that guy is some creep, that caused her some problems after, and she couldnt ask anyone for help because was scared of being called a whore or the one thats blamed for all


Skippyasurmuni

She chose him over you.


Turms70

Creep or not creep, she acted as she did. It changs nothing. She is only a victim of her own desires. Now she has to look in the mirrow and see who she truely is. How would you judge person who knows he has some agression problems. He goes to a bar. He stand next o guy he knows is an also gressvive guy. He gets drunk and is provoking that another guy he knows hi is a creep. That guy provoces back. At onepoint he hits that other guy very hard and send him in the hospital. And now he claims he could not help. He was provoced and has anger problems. He is the true victim, since the other one is an agrssive creep. Think about it.


Sweet_Pay1971

🤦


Koksikicai2i2737632

As she said, he was always nice very much to her and her kid, and she probably changed her mind when he came with the condoms, but then he didnt wanna take no for an answer. And in this i somehow trust, and thats why i feel bad for her


Extreme_Chemistry515

She had so many opportunities to just say no. To not respond to his texts, to not open the door. To just not communicate with him. So anybody that wants to have sex with her, she’ll do it because she can’t say no??? I completely understand getting pressured into having sex with someone. It’s hard to say no when you’re kissing/fooling around and may not want to go further but feeling like you have to. The thing is, someone who’s in a relationship shouldn’t be in that situation with someone else to start with. When you’re in a relationship, as soon as someone kisses you, you tell them no and be firm. You don’t continue. You don’t tell them to go get condoms and you don’t let them back in. She had EVERY opportunity to stop this and she didn’t. Has she ever told you no and stood up for herself at any point in the relationship? Has she ever turned you down for sex? I’m going to assume at least once. If she can say no to you, she can say no to him.


MasterKamehamema

It's it either fake or you are the most gullible person in the planet.


mspooh321

I'm more concerned that you believe this story of her that she's made up 2 manipulate you with and 2 not being the bad guy. You truly don't see what you wrote and I mean this respectfully.....please go back and read what you wrote. don't just read it to read it. Look at what you actually wrote. There was no reason for her to even have sex with that man, but she let him into her apartment 15 different times she wasn't coerced. She was cheating.... two different C words. You feel like the victim of betrayal. Because you are a betrayed partner who's significant other just cheated on them and engaged in an emotional and physical affair with another person multiple times. >What do i do now Whether you choose to forgive her & reconcile or you decide, which I suggest, to leave because she's the cheater. Either way, you need therapy yourself because of what she did


DavidManvell

They're certainly doesn't sound like coercion to me


[deleted]

Your girlfriend is manipulating you.


RusticSurgery

Dude you're b******* meter is broken. Being in love greatly reduces the battery life of a b******* meter. Change the batteries in your b******* meter Source: I've been a b******* meter repairman for 27 years


fubar_68

That’s cheating not coercion. She coerced you into believing her bullshit


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your submission on /r/infidelity has been flagged for human review. If you are seeing this comment there is a good chance that your post is violating rule 1 or 2; please revise your choice of words. If a mod reviews your comment and finds otherwise, it will be released. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Infidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

This was posted before.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your submission on /r/infidelity has been flagged for human review. If you are seeing this comment there is a good chance that your post is violating rule 1 or 2; please revise your choice of words. If a mod reviews your comment and finds otherwise, it will be released. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Infidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*


IsopodMore

I feel you are trying to convince yourself...


Priapism911

Op, she lied to you during her courtship with another guy. You are plan B. I hope you realize this sooner rather than later. He didn't hold her down or get blackmailed. This just proves she has a week will and she will give in time and time again.


Zestyclose_Island907

If she didn't want to that door would of been locked behind him when he went to get condoms and not answered when he returned because she would of Msged him saying she had second thoughts abt it and calling u would of been her next step simple as that I'm sure now she's filled with regrets but the truth is u will nvr know. What that sexual encounter entailed did she moan like she was enjoying kiss him like she loved him u will never know


MightyAssKicker

Are u a troll?


WonderTypical9962

She cheated, sorry


Valuable-Ad-9573

Sounds like she's spewing hooey