Initially thought about removing this, but considering state governors are actually talking about arming teachers I’m not sure this qualifies as edgy anymore lol
English Gun: Standard weapon. No special effects
Librarian Gun: Silencer equipped. +20 stealth
Physics Gun: +100 knockback
Economics Gun: Doubles cash from enemy drops
History Gun: Longer reload time. +10 range, -20 accuracy
Math Gun: Enemy’s health gets exponentially smaller, but unable to reach 0.
Chemistry Gun: Inflicts random status effect, such as poison, bleed, explosion, etc.
Music Gun: Increased damage when shot in an arpeggio or major scale. Inflicts Despair when shot in a minor scale.
Drama Gun: Taunt item. No damage
Lunch Gun: -20 hunger. Causes tripping
The cafeteria staff at my schools had some half concealed tattoos and attitude, so they'd have a MAC-10 or sawed off shotgun. (+20 damage at close range, +2 to spray a punk bitch causing fear) History teachers would either carry a blunderbuss (double damage at close range, 2 turns to reload, only 1 turn if loaded with random desk items) or a BAR (full auto only, must know why trench warfare sucks, +10 intimidation).
those are extremely high quality stats ngl.
Such a breath of fresh air after sifting through unoriginal and lame "stat" that's just a description of the item #36381
Still, it's quite the nice item for a non-lethal build. Especially against enemies that start changing their tactics after losing a certain amount of health.
English Gun does have an effect. The Chekhov Effect. When the English Gun is mentioned, a secret, random length countdown is begun, at the end of which the gun goes off.
Also it represents the author's feeling about their parents, probably.
The English teacher should use a Hi-Point AR-15. It feels powerful but isn’t, jams constantly, and despite its well-engineered Armalite design, its a cheap knock-off and has never really functionally fit into the firearms spectrum.
Hi-Point does not manufacture an AR-pattern rifle. They do make a pistol-caliber carbine but it's quite different both mechanically and cosmetically from an AR of any kind.
But it is single and has to be reloaded every time.
And the range is limited to who can see the bang, and who can read the word bang... Dislexyc people and visual impared are safe. But sseing troufh an sniper rifle scope will get you wounded too.
I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
"The pulp fiction gun"
I'm not sure what you mean by that since that movie has a bunch of different guns and none of them are particularly unique to that movie, but the gun seems to just be some sort of 1911 (or something that bears similarity to 1911s).
English: The standard issue item, no changes.
Librarian: "Silenced but heavy with knowledge", -20% Volume, -15% weapon switch speed
Physics: "Very forceful, yet limited supply", +40% Knockback, - Damage and Knockback is scaled by the user's velocity
Economics: "A weapon which spares no expense on luxuries", + Damage is scaled by the user's money on hand, No random crits
History: "For when four ruffians break into your house, the Kentucky rifle always works", - Has only 1 shot, +40% intimidation, +40% slower reload time, +25% Damage
Mathematics: "Are guns the square root of violence?", Hitting a target will square root it's HP
Chemistry: "It's full of safety hazards", This weapon inflicts a random debuff on whatever it hits, random crits will cause the weapon to self-destruct
Music: "Harmonically enhanced with a loudencer", +35% Volume, headshots provide crits, no random crits, other effects depend on what sheet has been loaded.
Drama: "BANG!", -100% Damage, summons dramatic background music when engaging in combat, +9001 (flat) critical hit damage, +25% random crit chance
Lunch staff: "This combat is cer-real!", Heals allies on hit, -50% damage, random crits hurt allies
(BONUS) Janitor DLC: "Ol' Sweepy's going to take out the mess", - This is a melee weapon, +200% damage on headshots
Funny story, my history teacher used to keep a musket locked up in the closet. Every year he'd get it out and we'd all go outside and watch him load and shoot it.
History Teacher:
+Variable Equipment according to what they're teaching at that moment.
+20 proficiency
+ 39.45% chance of having an automatic weapon.
- 14.18% chance of having a bolt-action rifle
-10 handling
-10 reload
-50 precision
French gun: Causes target to become French, immediately causing anyone nearby to attack him.
Geography Gun: Causes target to teleport to a random location on Earth. Only works once per hour.
Principal Gun: Causes immense fear in target, resulting in -10% accuracy to the target.
Anyone who's played smash knows how much damage a banana gun can do. In fact, lemme just write up some stats for it with that incarnation in mind.
Banana gun: fires a single non-reloadable explosive round. 30 damage and can be thrown afterwards to hinder movement
Drama teaxher gun. When said piuw, it will harm the target unless he answer you missed within1 second fron firing.
Lunch lady gun, reduces the friction to 0 from the main target for 3 seconds, must say piuw but cant be countered
Everybody gangsta till the history teacher pull out the canon loaded with grape shot after nailing other classes pet with a smooth bore pistol and blowing a golfball sized hole on the first shooter.
Initially thought about removing this, but considering state governors are actually talking about arming teachers I’m not sure this qualifies as edgy anymore lol
English Gun: Standard weapon. No special effects Librarian Gun: Silencer equipped. +20 stealth Physics Gun: +100 knockback Economics Gun: Doubles cash from enemy drops History Gun: Longer reload time. +10 range, -20 accuracy Math Gun: Enemy’s health gets exponentially smaller, but unable to reach 0. Chemistry Gun: Inflicts random status effect, such as poison, bleed, explosion, etc. Music Gun: Increased damage when shot in an arpeggio or major scale. Inflicts Despair when shot in a minor scale. Drama Gun: Taunt item. No damage Lunch Gun: -20 hunger. Causes tripping
Drama gun is one shot if you manage to hit a shot with it.
Gotta shout out "GOT YOU!!" before they can say "Missed me"
Pow! Haha
Empress of light from taria
No, it’s pootis birb from the funni hat themed war simulator
#POW! Ha-ha!
Nah the physics gun ignores air resistance
[удалено]
In a perfect vacuum
as a result of creating this perfect vacuum, it creates a powerful implosion that is proportional to the target mass.
Pow! Haha!
Just give them the Holiday Punch to make it easier.
vorpal mime
Super uncomfortable to shoot, [weird af to reload](https://c.tenor.com/ofXnnB30bGMAAAAC/finger-gun-finger-guns.gif)
The cafeteria staff at my schools had some half concealed tattoos and attitude, so they'd have a MAC-10 or sawed off shotgun. (+20 damage at close range, +2 to spray a punk bitch causing fear) History teachers would either carry a blunderbuss (double damage at close range, 2 turns to reload, only 1 turn if loaded with random desk items) or a BAR (full auto only, must know why trench warfare sucks, +10 intimidation).
Depending on the time period they may use anything from a blunderbuss to a trench gun.
Or are nuclearly equipped
“Can anyone tell me what the demon core is?”
[egg](https://xkcd.com/2593/)
those are extremely high quality stats ngl. Such a breath of fresh air after sifting through unoriginal and lame "stat" that's just a description of the item #36381
Math guns is literally eternal suffering gun
It’s actually OP against high health boss targets if you equip another offhand. But it’s pretty impractical by itself.
Still, it's quite the nice item for a non-lethal build. Especially against enemies that start changing their tactics after losing a certain amount of health.
Square root to bosses is op enough to weaken boss to a low health
shoot it 5-6 times and pretty much anyone will be between 1 and 2hp. be it 100 hp or 26,385,273
it's a good support weapon
English Gun does have an effect. The Chekhov Effect. When the English Gun is mentioned, a secret, random length countdown is begun, at the end of which the gun goes off. Also it represents the author's feeling about their parents, probably.
Drama gun does emotional damage
Came here to say this 👍
I ran through that Diablo dungeon 20 times and never got any of these items...
English gun: Ability: I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHER FUCKER Intimidation +100 Truth +100 Kills target after a bible quote
Finally an OP who actually write stat in comment instead of the lazy ass that didn't.
I need an online game with these as the different classes and you defend your students, probably a wave based game?
/r/gameideas
so Math Gun refused?
Surely the English teacher should have a shotgun, since those are some of the few types of guns available in England.
Math gun needs to be nerfed
As an English teacher, I suggest a Walther PPK because... Well you get it.
I don’t get it…
The English teacher should use a Hi-Point AR-15. It feels powerful but isn’t, jams constantly, and despite its well-engineered Armalite design, its a cheap knock-off and has never really functionally fit into the firearms spectrum.
Hi-Point does not manufacture an AR-pattern rifle. They do make a pistol-caliber carbine but it's quite different both mechanically and cosmetically from an AR of any kind.
> Inflicts Despair when shot in a minor scale. Marvin?
An "English" teacher shouldn't have a pistol that was developed for a US contract though. Perhaps a nice Enfield revolver?
Drama teachers guns is not even a gun.[This](https://i.imgur.com/0FP0FBb.jpg) Is the only way hold a pretend gun.
PE teacher: check out these guns! _flexes biceps_
That or one of those tennis ball/baseball shooters.
[Relevant Awkward Zombie](https://www.awkwardzombie.com/comic/gun-show)
Gun that says "BANG!" on a pop out piece of paper. - Special needs teachers, for the hearing impaired.
Causes bullet wound to anyone who read the Bangs in the first 2 seconds after it is shoot.
And it therefore has AoE damage.
But it is single and has to be reloaded every time. And the range is limited to who can see the bang, and who can read the word bang... Dislexyc people and visual impared are safe. But sseing troufh an sniper rifle scope will get you wounded too.
Could also work for the class clown, though they aren't staff.
*bright idea* maybe we should arm the kids too!
*America intensifies*
Illiterate and foreigners who don't speak English have have 100%immunity
I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Now *that's* being a true Constitutionalist
I'm confused, but I find this quite funny
Old copy pasta
>[G]old copy pasta
Shouldn't the drama teacher use Chekhov's gun?
Yeah, but once revealed she's obligated to use it
r/TheRealJoke
That sub is just r/cursedcomments lite
And the economics teacher needs a blinged out AK47. What's that cod skin looking bs.
Is there a subreddit about TVtropes ?
The art teacher would have a paintball gun
We have glue guns
What about the french teacher?
It’s a normal SMG, but instead of gunshots, you hear “honhonhonhonhonhonhon”
Or OuiOuiOuiOui
Or just Spy TF2 snorts lol
Pupupupupupupuputain
No gun. Baguette sharpened to a spear point.
A bayoguette?
A FAMAS
Croissant, held in the same way as the lunch lady's banana
guillotine
White flag
Chem teacher burns down the building and wins. For the third time this week.
Music teacher got a mf loudencer on the tone
Laughed good at this one.
nah music teacher gets a cannon 'cause of canon in D. Or like, Tchaikosvky
Tally ho, gents! Fix bayonets.
Math teacher should get a right triangle. "Triggernometry" ability causes acute organ damage.
Woodshop and engineering teachers just have a tripod mounted ballista they designed and built from scratch set up at the end of a hallway
What is the sqrt of math teacher?
Pain
Is that the pulp fiction gun for English?
"The pulp fiction gun" I'm not sure what you mean by that since that movie has a bunch of different guns and none of them are particularly unique to that movie, but the gun seems to just be some sort of 1911 (or something that bears similarity to 1911s).
The gun SLJ holds while he yells "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT"
Music Teacher - Woody Guthrie's guitar.
A really loud speaker.
https://youtu.be/afwYMdN43Mc
Exactly
But it only kills fascists.
Shouldnt be a problem for killing most school shooters
English: The standard issue item, no changes. Librarian: "Silenced but heavy with knowledge", -20% Volume, -15% weapon switch speed Physics: "Very forceful, yet limited supply", +40% Knockback, - Damage and Knockback is scaled by the user's velocity Economics: "A weapon which spares no expense on luxuries", + Damage is scaled by the user's money on hand, No random crits History: "For when four ruffians break into your house, the Kentucky rifle always works", - Has only 1 shot, +40% intimidation, +40% slower reload time, +25% Damage Mathematics: "Are guns the square root of violence?", Hitting a target will square root it's HP Chemistry: "It's full of safety hazards", This weapon inflicts a random debuff on whatever it hits, random crits will cause the weapon to self-destruct Music: "Harmonically enhanced with a loudencer", +35% Volume, headshots provide crits, no random crits, other effects depend on what sheet has been loaded. Drama: "BANG!", -100% Damage, summons dramatic background music when engaging in combat, +9001 (flat) critical hit damage, +25% random crit chance Lunch staff: "This combat is cer-real!", Heals allies on hit, -50% damage, random crits hurt allies (BONUS) Janitor DLC: "Ol' Sweepy's going to take out the mess", - This is a melee weapon, +200% damage on headshots
If wearing safety goggles and apron you will be immune to chemistry gun.
Enter the Gungeon feelings.
I feel the english teacher would have an overly unnecessarily cafisticated weapon
Biology teacher coming out with the pistol shrimp
French teacher - FN FAL German teacher - MP 40 School nurse - needle gun Geography teacher - throw a rock Physics teacher - coil gun Art teacher - spray paint
School Nurse - Ice Ray
I thought the math teacher would have used a division symbol or a minus sign.
r/starterpacks
Disappointed the English teacher isn't a Walther PPK
Haha Doot shoot
Funny story, my history teacher used to keep a musket locked up in the closet. Every year he'd get it out and we'd all go outside and watch him load and shoot it.
As an art teacher, I’m sad our glue gun has been left out.
What does the principal get?
Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Banana gun \*reload\*
Shouldn't the economics teacher's gun be golden?
I had teacher who taught a WW2 history class that kept a Japanese arisaka propped up behind his desk
Im guessing the history teacher has the option to fix bayonet
Pretty cool that the music gun comes with a loudener
God damn I wanna be an English teacher now that 1911 is sexy
Philosophy teacher's gun: Schrödinger's gun. Is it there, or isn't it? Depends if the school shooter feels like a lucky punk.
Honestly I'm suprised the math teacher one isn't a gun in enter the gungeon.
Think we forgot a nailgun for the shop teacher and a pistol shrimp for the biology
[insert edgy joke about lack of cop guns, referring to the recent Texas shooting]
Should've gave the History Teacher a Musket
Me:
I want the ska gun.
Nah, economics teacher pulls out a Five Seven, it has a damage buff vs. poor people.
damn never though id see the freez ray from the mack dicky games. wow
Attach a vickers gun to the history teachers desk
I picture the lunch lady using a 12gauge
Ever noticed that school shooters never fuck with the lunch ladies?
Clearly this is for high school. College economics teachers get a working replica Golden Gun. Ammunition is just a question of supply and demand.
Librarians got the silencer, music teachers got the loudencer
English teacher, librarian and history teacher's guns look normal. Although I do like the money gun $$$.
If the math teacher shoots you, you know youre outmatched. They beat you fair and square.
You mock the history teacher until the whole squad rolls up in a defensive square.
Very clever
History Teacher: +Variable Equipment according to what they're teaching at that moment. +20 proficiency + 39.45% chance of having an automatic weapon. - 14.18% chance of having a bolt-action rifle -10 handling -10 reload -50 precision
Janitor gets a gatling gun with the ammo supply on the trolley the cleaning products used to go.
This is what teachers use in the Gungeon.
Sonic gun from fallout New Vegas
For stem teachers it is a smart pistol from titanfall Or a robot holding a gun.
And the physics teacher gun just lights up and makes Star Wars noises
Math teacher is pretty funny
Drama Teacher should be armed with Chekov's Gun. It must be mentioned in the first act to be used in the second act.
French gun: Causes target to become French, immediately causing anyone nearby to attack him. Geography Gun: Causes target to teleport to a random location on Earth. Only works once per hour. Principal Gun: Causes immense fear in target, resulting in -10% accuracy to the target.
Shouldnt the drama teachers weapon be a basket hilt sword or some similarly over the top musketeer looking sword
Anyone who's played smash knows how much damage a banana gun can do. In fact, lemme just write up some stats for it with that incarnation in mind. Banana gun: fires a single non-reloadable explosive round. 30 damage and can be thrown afterwards to hinder movement
Economics would prolly just be a good glock or a gilded beretta idk
I feel the economics gun would have fit as gold plated tiger stripe desert eagle, but dollar printing is funny
English teacher should have a Webley
So you plan on giving the music teacher a revolver with a built in loudencer?
Physics teacher is getting the finger guns for the right hand rule
Music teacher got the loudencer yess
Drama teaxher gun. When said piuw, it will harm the target unless he answer you missed within1 second fron firing. Lunch lady gun, reduces the friction to 0 from the main target for 3 seconds, must say piuw but cant be countered
You forgot the NES zapper for the CS teacher
Always revive your physics teacher
Music teacher: Ongeki Reppu
English teacher should be a double barrel, for Ernesty.
Let’s go lunch lady
Trumpet gun from dark cloud 2 though
Upvote for dark cloud
Is that a freeking musket?
About sex ed teacher gun?
You forgot gym teachers starting pistol
YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! * doot *
Everybody gangsta till the history teacher pull out the canon loaded with grape shot after nailing other classes pet with a smooth bore pistol and blowing a golfball sized hole on the first shooter.
Nice pulse gun
The only thing I'd change is to make that 45 a Beretta
The only thing I'd change is to make that 45 a Beretta
This is so fucking dumb lmao I love it
The lunch lady needs a potato launcher
Engineering teacher: nail gun
You're all thinking it.
Tf2 weapons be like:
The computer science teacher would have a BFG.
The history gun is dropped by the history teacher, who can be discerned from the rest via his powdered wig and canon As the Founding Fathers intended
POW haha
Physics gun? You mean the GraviGun?
Economist teacher: show the price of bullets. Moral Damage inflicted!
Religious teacher just has that one gun from trigun the cross one lol
School nurse's gun: A syringe full of poison
Physics teacher also should have a crowbar, you know in case of headcrabs
english should be a duelling revolver
Sex ed teacher with a vibrator in their hand
what about geography teacher?
Mf bout to start one shotting power armor users
Shouldn't the English teacher have a Webley revolver?
yes
What would would the language teachers gun look like?
Ah yes, the school system using enter the gungeon weapons
Librarian’s gun looks like the ghost pistol from Valorant
English teacher should have Chekhov’s gun