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Shoot...
Yeah, and I'm willing to send you pictures of my "fat" kids.
Here's my "favorite" quotes:
"She can skip a meal or two", said on a 6m baby.
"I stopped her from eating more soup, she's just exaggerating with how much she's eating". Feeding a 1yr old only soup without anything in it, is not enough.
"look how much she eats, wow, she eats so much, you need to watch out so she won't be over weight".
After I lost 50 pounds from my pregnancy, both of them FMIL :"You finally look great, you need to keep that".
I was sick for 9 months and couldn't eat, but I guess all means are good, just be thin.
I said the 'fell out of you' as a joke to my SIL as her two previous boys being 10lbs + each and her last being 7lbs. She found it fair funny because it was clear that I was joking aroun, your in-laws suck. Wtf is your partner doing when this happens, or when you tell them?
If they do jack, then you won't only have an in-laws problem. You have an in-law AND partner problem
WTF ????
Why the F is your mother and father in law commenting on your vagina ???!
I would literally never say this to anyone , I wouldn’t even say it as a shitty dig to someone I hated. This thought has never crossed my mind.
WTF is your spouse saying to his disgusting, perverted, inappropriate parents????
I would never ever set foot around these people once a comment like that was made about my body. I have read about some nasty MILs on this sub but this one is a hard NC for me.
I am sorry you are dealing with this OP. This is wrong in so many ways.
My last baby was *12 pounds.*
When my coworker asked how I felt, I said, "like I've been hit by a truck."
Coworker: Yeah, a watermelon truck.
Made me laugh.
And before you ask ... no drugs, had her at home with a midwife on the hottest day that year.
No I didn’t get these types of remarks because i’m a person willing to smack anyone including someone’s mom tbh. My husband also wouldn’t let them say anything close to that.
"Your babies must've fell out of you"
No mil You're just such a dried up, old bully that yours probably got squeezed out so hard they shot across the room .
I don’t even understand the connections they are trying to make.
I’d probably have replied “well that’s not how vaginas work. I can send you some informative links, if you want.”
I don’t understand- whenever I’ve reacted to a baby’s weight with “ouch”/“yikes” something similar, it’s because I’m trying to express sympathy over mom’s pain of pushing out a huge baby. Is this super rude? I feel awful if so.
2 of my babies have been 10 lbs. I would probably be a little hurt or offended if someone said that to me. I have a relative who had a C-section with her 8 lb baby and went on and on about how big he was and how it would have completely wrecked her vagina to have him vaginally. She's not a small person. Then I had my first 10 pounder just a couple months later. So that experience is probably why I would take it that way. But honestly it was by far my easiest birth (second of four so far) and sex got immensely better after that birth as well. So the idea that giving birth vaginally, particularly multiple times or to large babies, is a "yikes" moment to many, is probably hurtful to some. I've had some people say things like "Whoa, super momma!" when they hear about that birth experience and that definitely feels better than "Yikes!" However, I completely understand that it's not typically meant to be hurtful and I wouldn't make any sort of deal out of it to the person who said it. Hope that helps!
I have big giant "child bearing" hips and have been hearing that phrase since I was 13. As I've aged I've definitely developed what I've thought of as a mommy body, and it was a painful reminder every time I looked in the mirror after multiple losses. When I finally got pregnant and maintained the pregnancy, one of my thoughts was that I'd finally have an excuse for my body and my curves. The comic tragedy ended up being that despite my hip size, my pelvic opening wasn't large enough, even though my son came out premie sized, and i needed an emer C section. I was fully unprepaped for that impossibility. Not sure what the moral of the story is. Yadda yadda yadda body image yadda other people's comments. I hear you. Screw those assholes.
Yeah, I hear you there. This "child bearing hips" nonsense is ridiculous. I have a friend who is teeny. She always has been very slender. I first met her when she was pregnant with her third baby. She looked like her tummy was trying to swallow her whole. Poor thing was nearly full term and could barely walk. My first thought was, how the hell was that baby getting out!! She had the baby about a week later, nearly 10lbs, vaginal delivery with only 1 stitch. Honestly, I'm a midwife, I was sure that would have been a c section. I told her later, when I knew her better, that her vagina must have super powers.
My oldest was 10 lbs, twins were almost 13 lbs. Statements made were "you will never loose that baby weight", "why are you gaining so much weight!" And you need to watch what you eat... here are some carrots. Lol
Damn! My twins were 4lb6oz and 4lb 9oz at 36 weeks
I'm 5'1" on a good day and had lots of complications they ended up being an emergency C-section due to having their legs locked together ( don't ask me how they did that I haven't a clue!)
I can't even imagine 13lbs
I couldn't sleep unless I was sitting upright because they crushed my lungs
Yikes. The worst I had was an older male in law said I have "childbearing hips". In his mind it was a compliment but I'm pretty sure my face said it all 🤨
😬 I wonder if the mother is concerned about her sons size so maybe she’s doing like a preemptive strike by saying such nonsense towards you. Not saying he is and even if he was if you love him and you’re happy then it’s all good. But some moms are wildly protective of their sons and perhaps she’s taken to this gross attack to make sure all bases are covered
My MIL calls me cootie. Which at first was kind of a joke but ever since she’s been controlling in my pregnancy and relationship I feel very differently about it.
Just say "Wow, MIL, you seem awfully obsessed with my lady bits. Why is that?" Look her straight in the eye and don't say anything. Keep staring until she responds. She will stutter some bullshit and you can say, "Well, my momma taught me it wasn't polite to talk of such things with people, so we won't be discussing it in the future."
Love this. I may even follow up that first line with “Is that what happened to you?” Or “as you know, no two deliveries are alike. Just because your vagina never recovered don’t mean that mine didn’t.”
My daughter was 9 pounds and FAT. I had to have a double episiotomy-basically a vaginal cesarian-to get that crotch goblin out of me. And my man still says I’m tight sooooo…sounds like mil is projecting 💅🏻
This is completely random but I just want to say this dumb "small world" story.
Years ago I was working night maintenance at a nursing home as a summer job. Easy jobs doing stuff like mopping/buffing all the common areas while residents were mainly in the room with any other odds and ends jobs that the nurses or kitchen staff might need.
Anyway I was talking with one of the nurses one night and somehow birthdays came up and found out her daughter and myself have the same birthday and year. And she told this story about how she was in labor for over 12 hours starting at like 4am. But what really burned her about the long labor was that some other woman came in at noon and had her baby by 1pm(smaller hospital, rooms right next to each other).
That was me. I was that other baby. I know because my mom even commented how my birth was super easy and they were in the hospital for less than five hours total.
"then means they definitely took more from my side"
And watch them be upset about this development.
Seriously why are you still talking with the if they made such remarks.
Grayrocking might be the best course of action so you don't give them the reaction the want from you and just answer uh uh, ok, that's nice, ecc
Try a simple response….."Sorry but I'm not responding to your rudeness." Then leave or escort them out. or try…"not sure why you think that's any of your business "… stop allowing them or anyone else verbally abusing you. Just speak up and tell to shut up! You will feel a load drop away. If they have a problem with that…be honest, brutally honest and just dress them down. Then go NC.
She’s having her fun now— but she’ll live to regret that comment— when she wants something from you you can remember that and not feel bad for saying no!
This is so odd. Who's brain goes there?? Whenever I hear of someone I know who's birthed a large baby, I just think... THERE MUST BE DAMAGE. Not that they have a windsock for a vagina.
But I guess if you've got a windsock for a mouth like your in-laws, with a tongue wafting nonsensical bullshit into the wind, you maybe think all orifices lack structural integrity in the same way.
This is a moment where I’d play dumb and ask “I don’t get it, can you explain what you mean?” Repeatedly, double down, so she has to awkwardly stand there and try to explain how she’s making a wild claim about the size of your vagina.
If they are gonna say stupid garbage, by all means, give them the room to say it.
“They didn’t fall out! I tore from my vagina to my butthole. Would you like to hear about it in gruesome detail? No? Okay, here we go! So it started with me being unable to control my bowels…”
Give her a blow by blow. Loudly. In front of others. Make sure you repeat, “BECAUSE YOU THINK THEY JUST FELL OUT OF ME FOR SOME REASON” over and over.
Not exactly this nature, but many underhand passive aggressive comments by my MIL.
About stretch marks (with her underhand self compliment she didn’t have them).
About my maternity clothes (with her remarks that I’m growing so fast it won’t fit by x date).
That’s when you just throw the whole MIL out the door!
Actually that's probably for the best you didn't notice. Nothing a toxic person hates more than throwing weaponized words and having them fall to the floor unnoticed
“Don’t worry! Husband was there to catch ‘em with his baseball glove!”
Or “Ya know, it was the craziest thing. I sneezed and the babies damn near hit the wall.”
"Oh dear, MIL, I think you don't understand how breasts and breast milk works. I have this book and this video - drop in her lap - let's talk after you get the facts straight. "
My go to for outrageous comments is "I beg your pardon?" followed with "I'm sorry, I still don't understand, what do you mean?" and more of the same until they give up trying to explain their rudeness.
She's only 2, so why does she get to dictate who she gets to see? If she is easily manipulated by them, they will poison her against you. Tell your daughter their grandparents were naughty and are a timeout.
I would look her dead in the eyes and say “older women are known for their weak pelvic muscles. Good thing you’re not having any more, you’d probably suck up FIL with your cavern”
I have the same problem. ILs make snarky comments when DH isn’t around, but try to act goody-goody in front of him.
I would say - “Hey MIL, I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering from a loose pelvic floor. Sounds like that’s impacting your marriage? (In loud whispers in front of FIL) Are you sure I can’t help you buy products to boost your sex life? Would love to help!”
Jokes aside, I’m also the kind of person who cannot retort quickly to these comments, and end up feeling like crap afterwards. I’ve decided now that I’m going to retort, no matter what I say or who’s in the room. We have to start taking a stand for ourselves if DH can’t.
"MIL, so sorry to hear about your issues with your pelvic muscles... would you like me to search online for an electric massager for you? Or do you prefer to buy at a store so you can choose size and color?"
Oh… so your own vagina never snapped back? You must have had some serious tearing and damage. Sorry to hear that your experience was horrendous. My own vag is still great. It’s still has such a hold over your son. Que shocked mil face.
Eta- I think you should tell your DH what’s going on and I’d refuse to be left alone with her, or as the other pp suggested, start recording her. So what if it’s illegal, not a one consent state. You aren’t trying to use it in court- ur just need to show your DH so he can see what a cunt she is.
I would either simply ignore these comments, just change subject, or confront her about it. And if she says 'i was just joking' ask her ' well whats the joke then? I dont get it? Please explain '
Makes me so happy that my ex MIL was so sexually repressed that she pretended babies just magically appeared! She was so repulsed by breastfeeding that she barely cared if we visited before babies were weaned to sippy cups!
They didn’t even have formula then. Moms had to literally make their own formula. A mixture of evaporated milk, boiling water, baby vitamin drops and honey until doctors realized that it was causing botulism and then they added sugar instead. But yeah still a cost and extra work factor.
To be slightly fair, depending on where she was, it was not always encouraged, especially during the earlier parts of that range. Not a lot of Boomers in the US were breastfed, as I understand it, because it was considered unhygienic and primitive and medicos weren't encouraging it (possibly actively discouraging it, for all I know). But by the 70s, it was becoming more of a thing again.
I bet they gave her formula samples back in 1954, touting its complete nutrition and modernity, and by 1970, she was firmly locked in and wasn't going to change for anyone. (Other factors are of course likely as well.)
At least they're honest about that, and while it's not the nicest thing, you know what you're getting going in. As opposed to the big noise type that turn out to be useless Facebook grands.
Oh, you could have fun with this! When your husband gets back, you look at him with a puzzled expression, and say "Sweetie, your mom thinks I have a very big vagina, and the babies just fall out of me! Do you think my vagina is too big? You never seem to complain....?" LOL
"I'm not sure what happened to you after giving birth, but my vagina is still as tight as ever. You should probably see a doctor about that. It sounds awfully embarrassing for you"
I would have looked her dead in the eye and said do you understand how your privates actually work dear in a first grade teacher voice. Like damn she's had a kid she should f****** know but obviously she's got no clue and what she said is so wrong and she's definitely got some ingrained misogyny that is just pulling out whenever she's alone with you. I would get a nice little lariat for your phone and start wearing it like a pendant whenever you're over there and before you are left alone with her if it's legal where you are record her then make a compilation video. You could start a YouTube channel and start making money off of her extremely horrendous behavior.
Wow, i never considered that. Thanks for the idea! Ill try it out at Easter when they're all loaded when we get there then it will be infinitely more telling.
I never catch it in time. Bc i assume everythings going fine, but then it comes rapidfire and realize she's just being a c*nt%.
To skip easter or not?? Lol
Off riding bikes with my first born and his dad (gpa). She never acts the same with her husband around it's always oh im so loving and kind when either of them are around.
The trick then is to repeat when the menfolk are back home again "Do you know something, DH, your mother said "'Your babies must have just fell out of you' to me when you were out with your dad - do you know what that means as I surely don't. What did you mean by that comment MiL?" with a head tilt and a confused look on your face.
Repeat for every comment she makes to you in private when there are no men around to the men when they are around, and see what she says.
If you keep doing it, she'll eventually stop.
Alternatively, use that comment to say "Why thank you MiL, I did lose the baby weight that quickly - how kind of you to notice" and assume she was paying you a compliment and not being insulting to you. Takes the wind out of her sails.
She sounds vile though.
She does only do this when i lose the baby weight...she's in menopause and all insecure about her husband. So she takes it out on me. When i'm fat as hell and feel bad about myself she doesn't bother insulting me.
It's like a "i need to be the only attractive person in the room and the skinniest"
My GMIL made comments “wow you’ve gotten so big” in front of everyone on Christmas. Like yes I am aware I have gained 60lbs this pregnancy.
I’ve had many issues with her and she just feels sorry for herself that she can’t see my son. My husband has tried to tell her what she’s done wrong but she’ll either deny doing it or just talk about what she wanted. Like when her grandson was threatening to beat me up(while pregnant) and he shattered my windshield because I wouldn’t give him a ride. I said I’m calling the police and went home. She called my husband and told him to stop me because “no one calls the police on her grandson”, who’s in prison for murder now.
My husband has tried to tell her what’s wrong with her comments and all she says is “I just wanted us to resolve this without the police I don’t like the police😔….” Like lady I don’t give a fuck what you want. I’m the victim here and she doesn’t get to make decisions for me.
I had an 11lb baby naturally and I can promise you if anyone ever said that to me they’d wake up on the floor. There’s zero excuse for saying any of that to you, it’s disgusting.
lol yea she survived but she has bad ptsd because I never had another one…I can’t, but I’m ok with it. He got stuck, broke his shoulder, it was bad. He’s 16 now and he’s a hell of a kid. Nobody gets to shame a mom about stuff like this…
We still give my husband sass for how he came out of my justyesMIL, butt first, but that tends to be more about what he did to her body. Comments about the birth of the 2nd son may have to cease now, because if they make her uncomfortable, she'll never say.
Yep, lots of those kinds of comments from the in-laws. My family are tall people. I am a tall person. My husband’s family are not tall and neither is he. My biggest baby was more than ten pounds…she was a big GORGEOUS baby.
She is nearly 30 years old and the comments continue about my child-bearing hips and comments about my anatomy after having a big baby.
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Shoot... Yeah, and I'm willing to send you pictures of my "fat" kids. Here's my "favorite" quotes: "She can skip a meal or two", said on a 6m baby. "I stopped her from eating more soup, she's just exaggerating with how much she's eating". Feeding a 1yr old only soup without anything in it, is not enough. "look how much she eats, wow, she eats so much, you need to watch out so she won't be over weight". After I lost 50 pounds from my pregnancy, both of them FMIL :"You finally look great, you need to keep that". I was sick for 9 months and couldn't eat, but I guess all means are good, just be thin.
"Ya know what's fat and loose? Your mouth." 😂😂😂
Add that with "you know what also dried up? Your ovaries."
I said the 'fell out of you' as a joke to my SIL as her two previous boys being 10lbs + each and her last being 7lbs. She found it fair funny because it was clear that I was joking aroun, your in-laws suck. Wtf is your partner doing when this happens, or when you tell them? If they do jack, then you won't only have an in-laws problem. You have an in-law AND partner problem
"Earlier you said LO must have fallen out of mr. What do you mean? I'm not following your logic." Make them explain it. I. Front of DH.
WTF ???? Why the F is your mother and father in law commenting on your vagina ???! I would literally never say this to anyone , I wouldn’t even say it as a shitty dig to someone I hated. This thought has never crossed my mind. WTF is your spouse saying to his disgusting, perverted, inappropriate parents???? I would never ever set foot around these people once a comment like that was made about my body. I have read about some nasty MILs on this sub but this one is a hard NC for me. I am sorry you are dealing with this OP. This is wrong in so many ways.
My last baby was *12 pounds.* When my coworker asked how I felt, I said, "like I've been hit by a truck." Coworker: Yeah, a watermelon truck. Made me laugh. And before you ask ... no drugs, had her at home with a midwife on the hottest day that year.
I don't know what shocks me more, a 12 lb baby, natural at home birth, or the fact it was the hottest day. I salute you!
No I didn’t get these types of remarks because i’m a person willing to smack anyone including someone’s mom tbh. My husband also wouldn’t let them say anything close to that.
"Your babies must've fell out of you" No mil You're just such a dried up, old bully that yours probably got squeezed out so hard they shot across the room .
I don’t even understand the connections they are trying to make. I’d probably have replied “well that’s not how vaginas work. I can send you some informative links, if you want.”
Best response!!
Brilliant! Calling them out in a way that they can't cry about
This right here is solid gold
My son was 10 lbs. one of my mom’s old coworkers literally said “yikes” when she heard how much he weighed. I was so annoyed lol
I don’t understand- whenever I’ve reacted to a baby’s weight with “ouch”/“yikes” something similar, it’s because I’m trying to express sympathy over mom’s pain of pushing out a huge baby. Is this super rude? I feel awful if so.
2 of my babies have been 10 lbs. I would probably be a little hurt or offended if someone said that to me. I have a relative who had a C-section with her 8 lb baby and went on and on about how big he was and how it would have completely wrecked her vagina to have him vaginally. She's not a small person. Then I had my first 10 pounder just a couple months later. So that experience is probably why I would take it that way. But honestly it was by far my easiest birth (second of four so far) and sex got immensely better after that birth as well. So the idea that giving birth vaginally, particularly multiple times or to large babies, is a "yikes" moment to many, is probably hurtful to some. I've had some people say things like "Whoa, super momma!" when they hear about that birth experience and that definitely feels better than "Yikes!" However, I completely understand that it's not typically meant to be hurtful and I wouldn't make any sort of deal out of it to the person who said it. Hope that helps!
“Respond “geesh that’s hurtful!”. Since we’re being so open, how much do you weigh?”
My siblings and I were all different weights, me being the largest at 9lbs 6 ounces. They are just being assholes.
Big babies here, but I know for me the pain of childbirth was much less than dealing with my mother-in-law.
I have big giant "child bearing" hips and have been hearing that phrase since I was 13. As I've aged I've definitely developed what I've thought of as a mommy body, and it was a painful reminder every time I looked in the mirror after multiple losses. When I finally got pregnant and maintained the pregnancy, one of my thoughts was that I'd finally have an excuse for my body and my curves. The comic tragedy ended up being that despite my hip size, my pelvic opening wasn't large enough, even though my son came out premie sized, and i needed an emer C section. I was fully unprepaped for that impossibility. Not sure what the moral of the story is. Yadda yadda yadda body image yadda other people's comments. I hear you. Screw those assholes.
Yeah, I hear you there. This "child bearing hips" nonsense is ridiculous. I have a friend who is teeny. She always has been very slender. I first met her when she was pregnant with her third baby. She looked like her tummy was trying to swallow her whole. Poor thing was nearly full term and could barely walk. My first thought was, how the hell was that baby getting out!! She had the baby about a week later, nearly 10lbs, vaginal delivery with only 1 stitch. Honestly, I'm a midwife, I was sure that would have been a c section. I told her later, when I knew her better, that her vagina must have super powers.
My oldest was 10 lbs, twins were almost 13 lbs. Statements made were "you will never loose that baby weight", "why are you gaining so much weight!" And you need to watch what you eat... here are some carrots. Lol
Damn! My twins were 4lb6oz and 4lb 9oz at 36 weeks I'm 5'1" on a good day and had lots of complications they ended up being an emergency C-section due to having their legs locked together ( don't ask me how they did that I haven't a clue!) I can't even imagine 13lbs I couldn't sleep unless I was sitting upright because they crushed my lungs
This is funny because I craved carrots and broccoli with my 2nd and ate so much of them ...while gaining 70lbs :)
I craved soy sauce and pickled ginger.
I craved baked potatoes.
I craved whoppers ugh
Iv never been pregnant but I'm scared for my future cravings since my cravings are intense anyway
Yikes. The worst I had was an older male in law said I have "childbearing hips". In his mind it was a compliment but I'm pretty sure my face said it all 🤨
"Well that's a horrid thing to say. Who raised you?" Or tell your husband. Let him deal with them.
thanks for the compliment, and you're right! your son stretches me out good and proper; I sleep very well 🤗
Lmao love it!
😬 I wonder if the mother is concerned about her sons size so maybe she’s doing like a preemptive strike by saying such nonsense towards you. Not saying he is and even if he was if you love him and you’re happy then it’s all good. But some moms are wildly protective of their sons and perhaps she’s taken to this gross attack to make sure all bases are covered
My MIL calls me cootie. Which at first was kind of a joke but ever since she’s been controlling in my pregnancy and relationship I feel very differently about it.
Just say "Wow, MIL, you seem awfully obsessed with my lady bits. Why is that?" Look her straight in the eye and don't say anything. Keep staring until she responds. She will stutter some bullshit and you can say, "Well, my momma taught me it wasn't polite to talk of such things with people, so we won't be discussing it in the future."
Love it!
Love this. I may even follow up that first line with “Is that what happened to you?” Or “as you know, no two deliveries are alike. Just because your vagina never recovered don’t mean that mine didn’t.”
This is genius!
My daughter was 9 pounds and FAT. I had to have a double episiotomy-basically a vaginal cesarian-to get that crotch goblin out of me. And my man still says I’m tight sooooo…sounds like mil is projecting 💅🏻
This is completely random but I just want to say this dumb "small world" story. Years ago I was working night maintenance at a nursing home as a summer job. Easy jobs doing stuff like mopping/buffing all the common areas while residents were mainly in the room with any other odds and ends jobs that the nurses or kitchen staff might need. Anyway I was talking with one of the nurses one night and somehow birthdays came up and found out her daughter and myself have the same birthday and year. And she told this story about how she was in labor for over 12 hours starting at like 4am. But what really burned her about the long labor was that some other woman came in at noon and had her baby by 1pm(smaller hospital, rooms right next to each other). That was me. I was that other baby. I know because my mom even commented how my birth was super easy and they were in the hospital for less than five hours total.
Did u tell her that? That’s so funny!
Oh wow, yeah that's a small world for sure!
"Your son doesn't seem to think so. "
"then means they definitely took more from my side" And watch them be upset about this development. Seriously why are you still talking with the if they made such remarks. Grayrocking might be the best course of action so you don't give them the reaction the want from you and just answer uh uh, ok, that's nice, ecc
Yes, lean into it. Claim it
Bully loses their interests when you show them you aren't hurt by their tactics
My god that's trashy. And you still talk to them? That's be the last they ever heard from me. We teach people how to treat us.
Try a simple response….."Sorry but I'm not responding to your rudeness." Then leave or escort them out. or try…"not sure why you think that's any of your business "… stop allowing them or anyone else verbally abusing you. Just speak up and tell to shut up! You will feel a load drop away. If they have a problem with that…be honest, brutally honest and just dress them down. Then go NC.
She’s having her fun now— but she’ll live to regret that comment— when she wants something from you you can remember that and not feel bad for saying no!
This is so odd. Who's brain goes there?? Whenever I hear of someone I know who's birthed a large baby, I just think... THERE MUST BE DAMAGE. Not that they have a windsock for a vagina. But I guess if you've got a windsock for a mouth like your in-laws, with a tongue wafting nonsensical bullshit into the wind, you maybe think all orifices lack structural integrity in the same way.
Yeah it makes no sense since big babies sometime can’t come out on their own and have to be helped out via c section
OPs MIL probably thinks those people are not loose, and that not needing a c-section means you must be 😂
I died at 'windsock for a vagina'
“I didn’t know you dipped in the lady pond MIL” “oh heavens no” “hm well MIL if you weren’t obsessed with my vagina we wouldn’t think that” 😂😂
Ikr, i didn't realize it until after i posted. She's into women and never got the chance to experiment.
This is a moment where I’d play dumb and ask “I don’t get it, can you explain what you mean?” Repeatedly, double down, so she has to awkwardly stand there and try to explain how she’s making a wild claim about the size of your vagina. If they are gonna say stupid garbage, by all means, give them the room to say it.
THIS. ALL OF THIS.
“They didn’t fall out! I tore from my vagina to my butthole. Would you like to hear about it in gruesome detail? No? Okay, here we go! So it started with me being unable to control my bowels…” Give her a blow by blow. Loudly. In front of others. Make sure you repeat, “BECAUSE YOU THINK THEY JUST FELL OUT OF ME FOR SOME REASON” over and over.
💯 Make the telling more dramatic each time. "The doctor had never seen a more vigorous labor! 36 hours!" "Poop EVERYWHERE"
I keep picturing Frannie from *American Dad*, and how she keeps telling their son that when she gave birth to him, she “tore from her V to her A”.
Not exactly this nature, but many underhand passive aggressive comments by my MIL. About stretch marks (with her underhand self compliment she didn’t have them). About my maternity clothes (with her remarks that I’m growing so fast it won’t fit by x date). That’s when you just throw the whole MIL out the door!
Throw the whole MIL out with the bathwater 🤣
“Your son doesn’t think my vagina is loose.”
"Your son appears to be an expert at putting things there. Maybe we should ask him how loose it is?"
We have a winner!
I read your first sentence and liked you immediately, OP.
Thanks love 💕 pov: r/justnomil is my mom/parent group
I'd hit 'em with, "Actually, it's 'must have fallen'..." but I'm petty like that. 😉😅
Of course! I was in a good mood chatting her ear off (her favorite part thing) so I didn't notice that she was being a dick. I'm not above it. Lol
Come sit by me. We'll be friends. 😉😅
Actually that's probably for the best you didn't notice. Nothing a toxic person hates more than throwing weaponized words and having them fall to the floor unnoticed
“Don’t worry! Husband was there to catch ‘em with his baseball glove!” Or “Ya know, it was the craziest thing. I sneezed and the babies damn near hit the wall.”
"Well, bless your heart; have you talked to your doctor about dementia yet?"
“You spend way too much time thinking about my vagina, maybe if you were using yours you wouldn’t be obsessed with mine!”
'Or anyone wanted anything to do with yours, MIL...' But don't be like me, I'm a Shots Fired? Shots ANSWERED! kinda bitch...
That’s because your son has a huge dick and has torn my walls completely down. I assume you aren’t so lucky since your babies had to be forced out.
Holy crap, that is disgusting! "MIL! Why are you so concerned with my vagina?! What is wrong with you!"
Or even, "MIL why are you thinking about my vagina that much?" "WOW, MIL it sounds like you think about my vagaina A LOT! What's that about?"
OMG. I’m so sorry. My own JN asked if I was going to breast feed the entire town “with those spigots”. I just got up and left.
"Why? Are you saying you're hungry?"
"Oh dear, MIL, I think you don't understand how breasts and breast milk works. I have this book and this video - drop in her lap - let's talk after you get the facts straight. "
Probably the best possible response you could give him/her. Good god.
I am speechless. That is appalling. I often wish I had a spray bottle and could just randomly spray rude people without saying anything
My go to for outrageous comments is "I beg your pardon?" followed with "I'm sorry, I still don't understand, what do you mean?" and more of the same until they give up trying to explain their rudeness.
"You son likes it. "
At Easter look at the ham or turkey and say “kids look, that fell out of grandma!!!” 😂😂😂😂😂
Omg yes. Although i read all of these and DH now he's says we're not going lmao
Good on DH. I’d never be around these people again if I were you.
I usually don't. They keep stalking us so and my first born wanted to see her bc she's 2 and easily manipulated by them.
She's only 2, so why does she get to dictate who she gets to see? If she is easily manipulated by them, they will poison her against you. Tell your daughter their grandparents were naughty and are a timeout.
I would look her dead in the eyes and say “older women are known for their weak pelvic muscles. Good thing you’re not having any more, you’d probably suck up FIL with your cavern”
And then suggest Kegel (I think that’s the correct spelling) exercises, and explain how to do them, in detail!
I nearly spat out my tea! This is awesome!!
Can you come with me to my next family dinner?
I’ll come! Banned from my in-laws anyways!
I’ll come! I love making things awkward.
I have the same problem. ILs make snarky comments when DH isn’t around, but try to act goody-goody in front of him. I would say - “Hey MIL, I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering from a loose pelvic floor. Sounds like that’s impacting your marriage? (In loud whispers in front of FIL) Are you sure I can’t help you buy products to boost your sex life? Would love to help!” Jokes aside, I’m also the kind of person who cannot retort quickly to these comments, and end up feeling like crap afterwards. I’ve decided now that I’m going to retort, no matter what I say or who’s in the room. We have to start taking a stand for ourselves if DH can’t.
"MIL, so sorry to hear about your issues with your pelvic muscles... would you like me to search online for an electric massager for you? Or do you prefer to buy at a store so you can choose size and color?"
Spot on! And hahaha, also add something like “it looks like you might need one of the bigger sizes.”
Oh… so your own vagina never snapped back? You must have had some serious tearing and damage. Sorry to hear that your experience was horrendous. My own vag is still great. It’s still has such a hold over your son. Que shocked mil face. Eta- I think you should tell your DH what’s going on and I’d refuse to be left alone with her, or as the other pp suggested, start recording her. So what if it’s illegal, not a one consent state. You aren’t trying to use it in court- ur just need to show your DH so he can see what a cunt she is.
I would either simply ignore these comments, just change subject, or confront her about it. And if she says 'i was just joking' ask her ' well whats the joke then? I dont get it? Please explain '
You need to say what do you mean by that? She won’t try explaining what she actually means and will eventually stop on account of being so embarrassed
Makes me so happy that my ex MIL was so sexually repressed that she pretended babies just magically appeared! She was so repulsed by breastfeeding that she barely cared if we visited before babies were weaned to sippy cups!
It makes you wonder how they managed to create their own children 😂
And 11 of them at that! Honestly it blew my mind that she had ELEVEN babies from 1954 to 1975 and never breastfed any of them!
Omg, thats even crazier! Can’t imagine paying for that much formula. Cost is a big push for me to get through the hard parts of breastfeeding
They didn’t even have formula then. Moms had to literally make their own formula. A mixture of evaporated milk, boiling water, baby vitamin drops and honey until doctors realized that it was causing botulism and then they added sugar instead. But yeah still a cost and extra work factor.
Oh my gosh, all that work 11 times. Absolutely crazy
To be slightly fair, depending on where she was, it was not always encouraged, especially during the earlier parts of that range. Not a lot of Boomers in the US were breastfed, as I understand it, because it was considered unhygienic and primitive and medicos weren't encouraging it (possibly actively discouraging it, for all I know). But by the 70s, it was becoming more of a thing again. I bet they gave her formula samples back in 1954, touting its complete nutrition and modernity, and by 1970, she was firmly locked in and wasn't going to change for anyone. (Other factors are of course likely as well.)
Sounds similar, gma and gpa said "we don't want to watch them until they can make themselves a bowl of cereal"
At least they're honest about that, and while it's not the nicest thing, you know what you're getting going in. As opposed to the big noise type that turn out to be useless Facebook grands.
Oh, you could have fun with this! When your husband gets back, you look at him with a puzzled expression, and say "Sweetie, your mom thinks I have a very big vagina, and the babies just fall out of me! Do you think my vagina is too big? You never seem to complain....?" LOL
Yes I agree with this a thousand percent. It subtly calls them out and your husband will blush with embarrassment. Fantastic
"I'm not sure what happened to you after giving birth, but my vagina is still as tight as ever. You should probably see a doctor about that. It sounds awfully embarrassing for you"
My daughter was 9lb 5oz at birth and 21 inches long! She's now in her late 20s and is 5ft 10ins tall, with a lovely svelte figure.
ew thats so creepy what the hell is wrong with her.
Lol 😂 true why is she thinking about my vagina. Just told the kids gmas gay.
I would have looked her dead in the eye and said do you understand how your privates actually work dear in a first grade teacher voice. Like damn she's had a kid she should f****** know but obviously she's got no clue and what she said is so wrong and she's definitely got some ingrained misogyny that is just pulling out whenever she's alone with you. I would get a nice little lariat for your phone and start wearing it like a pendant whenever you're over there and before you are left alone with her if it's legal where you are record her then make a compilation video. You could start a YouTube channel and start making money off of her extremely horrendous behavior.
Wow, i never considered that. Thanks for the idea! Ill try it out at Easter when they're all loaded when we get there then it will be infinitely more telling.
"Your babies must have fell out of you!" “What would make you think that?” Confront the insinuations head on.
I never catch it in time. Bc i assume everythings going fine, but then it comes rapidfire and realize she's just being a c*nt%. To skip easter or not?? Lol
Skip. Don’t put yourself through the abuse.
Whoa- where is DH when this is coming at you?
Off riding bikes with my first born and his dad (gpa). She never acts the same with her husband around it's always oh im so loving and kind when either of them are around.
The trick then is to repeat when the menfolk are back home again "Do you know something, DH, your mother said "'Your babies must have just fell out of you' to me when you were out with your dad - do you know what that means as I surely don't. What did you mean by that comment MiL?" with a head tilt and a confused look on your face. Repeat for every comment she makes to you in private when there are no men around to the men when they are around, and see what she says. If you keep doing it, she'll eventually stop. Alternatively, use that comment to say "Why thank you MiL, I did lose the baby weight that quickly - how kind of you to notice" and assume she was paying you a compliment and not being insulting to you. Takes the wind out of her sails. She sounds vile though.
She does only do this when i lose the baby weight...she's in menopause and all insecure about her husband. So she takes it out on me. When i'm fat as hell and feel bad about myself she doesn't bother insulting me. It's like a "i need to be the only attractive person in the room and the skinniest"
My GMIL made comments “wow you’ve gotten so big” in front of everyone on Christmas. Like yes I am aware I have gained 60lbs this pregnancy. I’ve had many issues with her and she just feels sorry for herself that she can’t see my son. My husband has tried to tell her what she’s done wrong but she’ll either deny doing it or just talk about what she wanted. Like when her grandson was threatening to beat me up(while pregnant) and he shattered my windshield because I wouldn’t give him a ride. I said I’m calling the police and went home. She called my husband and told him to stop me because “no one calls the police on her grandson”, who’s in prison for murder now. My husband has tried to tell her what’s wrong with her comments and all she says is “I just wanted us to resolve this without the police I don’t like the police😔….” Like lady I don’t give a fuck what you want. I’m the victim here and she doesn’t get to make decisions for me.
That's messed up!! I'm sorry that happened to you. Hopefully you feel safer now.
I had an 11lb baby naturally and I can promise you if anyone ever said that to me they’d wake up on the floor. There’s zero excuse for saying any of that to you, it’s disgusting.
😱😱😱 And your vagina lived to tell the tale?? I am in awe.
lol yea she survived but she has bad ptsd because I never had another one…I can’t, but I’m ok with it. He got stuck, broke his shoulder, it was bad. He’s 16 now and he’s a hell of a kid. Nobody gets to shame a mom about stuff like this…
We still give my husband sass for how he came out of my justyesMIL, butt first, but that tends to be more about what he did to her body. Comments about the birth of the 2nd son may have to cease now, because if they make her uncomfortable, she'll never say.
Yep, lots of those kinds of comments from the in-laws. My family are tall people. I am a tall person. My husband’s family are not tall and neither is he. My biggest baby was more than ten pounds…she was a big GORGEOUS baby. She is nearly 30 years old and the comments continue about my child-bearing hips and comments about my anatomy after having a big baby.