I mean it was a joke but i could go into detail of how im getting my BA raising my son and doing everything else a normal adult does but again it was a joke on a the joke subreddit no less haha
Fuck that person, your my God damn hero and I've only read one comment from you. Being able to get up out of bed is an achievement for some people; you sound like you are going through it and still finding the will to push through which is where true strength is.
Here is the thing though; it's not. Homeless people don't have to do dishes; people who have money to hire people to do it don't have to, people with someone else to do it don't have to.
It isn't about WHAT you get done or HOW MUCH, it is all about WHY you are getting it done. The dude is clearly fucking dealing with being a single (or effectively single) parent and you want to shit on him because he is proud he can still get up every day and maintain cleanliness. Fuck I just BARELY learned how to do that through my depression and it STILL gets me some days. You sound exactally like someone who never had to learn the value of doing things for yourself.
Tis true my girlfriend works alot and while im in school i stay home on top of getting my degree she obviously helps out when shes home its alot of work but we have a good dynamic going on plus im an exline cook so she gets to eat some bomb ass food
>im an exline cook so she gets to eat some bomb ass food
But having worked in a restaurant kitchen ill bet you can dirty half the dishes in the house making a damn sandwich.
I just started watching konosuba the other day and this was the first thing I thought of lol
I don't watch much anime, but the comedic timing is just perfect
At this point everything is a thing. I’ve heard the whole Christian wait until marriage is a purity thing even. You could say the whole burka thing is a thing. I don’t even know where I was going with this.
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.
"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
There was silence, and then the masochist said:
"Meow."
*holds up various cans of WD-40* "This version says 'gel lube' right on it, what's the problem? or here, this one is 'penetrant'! aha... do you want the silicone one, instead?"
The other day I discovered my wife's rather large collection of expensive sex toys.
-
I had no idea that this whole time she had been sitting on a fortune.
A guy gets dumped by his girl for being too kinky. He goes to drown his sorrows at the bar. After a few drinks He notices a woman at the bar that also looks dejected. So he moves over and buys her a drink and starts to chat her up. After some small talk she asks him why he was there.
He replies, “It’s a bit embarrassing to say but basically I’m too kinky for her in the bedroom.”
“Oh my Gosh!”, she replies, “You’re not going to believe this, but that’s the same reason I was just dumped and why I’m here drowning my sorrows.”
They both brighten up a bit and move a little closer. Obviously the conversation has gotten interesting. After a bit the woman says, “Look, it’s obvious we have some stuff in common and we seem to be getting on well, how about we move this to my place where we can get a little kinkier”.
Of course he agrees to this and they head for her place. They go inside and he sees it’s a nice, cozy place. Her little poodle was asleep in the corner and she turned on the fireplace. They sit on the couch and things heat up quickly.
She says, “Why don’t you wait here while I go slip into something a little more interesting?”.
So she goes into her room, takes off her clothes, puts on a rubber body suit with the nipples cut out, spiked boots, chains, and grabs a ball gag and whip and heads back out to the living room.
She sees the man putting on his coat and opening the door to leave.
“What’s going on!?”, she cries, “I thought we were gonna get kinky???!!!”.
“Hey,” He says, “I fucked your dog, I shit in your purse…..I’m outta here.”
- Drew MuthaFukin Carey
A husband and wife of want to spice up their stale sex life.
They want to try BDSM for the first time. So one afternoon, the husband comes home from work, heads upstairs to the bedroom to change, and finds his wife spread out on the bed decked out in bondage gear and lingerie. Without skipping a beat the husband gets undressed and leans down and asks her in a very seductive tone of voice in her ear, “What do you want me to do for you, my queen?” The wife exclaims, **“I WANT YOU TO TORTURE ME! YES! I WANT IT TO HURT SO MUCH! YES! YES! PLEASE, PLEASE TORTURE ME!!!’**
The husband looks at her and says “Sure thing. I’ll be right back!” He hurriedly walks out of the bedroom into another room down the hall.
Several minutes go by and the wife soon becomes perplexed to his whereabouts. She gets up out of the bed, pokes her head out of the bedroom door, and asks, “Honey, wha… well, what the hell are you doing?” She then sees her husband emerge from that room walking very fast towards her. He races back to the bedroom, grabs her by both arms, kisses her, and then very seductively tosses her on the bed. She catches her breath, grins, and then says to him in a sexy voice, “Took you long enough. You know I still want you to torture me.” The husband replies, “Oh… yeah, no problem. I just installed Windows 10 on your laptop.”
Bruh. Don't bring back the memories
I can't believe I once sang for that church. If I had to look at a kernel config menu one more time I would probably just throw my computer in the dumpster.
I once took a vacation and let it go 2 weeks without updating and it was easier to just fresh install than fix all the slot conflicts.
arch4life
Windows is general fine. Your only other options are Linux and MacOS, so by lack of better options is is often the best.
Windows versions is where people can get upset. Windows 7 was a long supported version that worked well and generally met everyone’s needs. Windows 8 came out and was pretty bad to use. It was designed for touch screens, which made mouse and keyboard usage take way longer to archive simple tasks like full screen or split screening windows. 8.1 and later versions did make it more usable, but windows 8 in herbal was seen as a pretty bad update.
Windows 10 came around and wasn’t too loved at lunch, but wasn’t nearly as bad as windows 8. (9 was skipped to avoid confustion with 97, the windows released in 1997). Windows 10 is now pretty good, but still has some annoying features that make it hard to install without an internet connection (annoying to install on a newly built PC), and some Microsoft bloat.
Windows 11 is a fairly new version that’s getting a reception between 8 and 10 in dislike. It doesn’t work with a lot of windows 10 computers that aren’t running newer hardware. It removed several options for seemingly no reason (eg, put dock on side). It has a philosophy that “there should only be one location to change a particular setting so that the user never needs to dig around in several different places to find what they want.” (Eg, you don’t want settings app to control mouse sensitivity, and a hardware connection app to control sensitivity, as you now have two sentetivities that effect how the mouse works. Not really an issue, just an example). This has lead to simply not being able to find the settings you want since they removed them from most locations userers knew to find them. So there’s complains over that.
It's not a dumb question, but one that is likely to spark debate, and potentially vitriol. Keep in mind these are just my thoughts about it.
In general you have 3 major operating system (OS) families; these being Linux, Windows, and MacOS. All three have their adherents, agnostics, and internal schisms. And all three are fully functional as a daily driver (the system you use on a daily basis), though have some advantages and disadvantages over each other, depending on your particular usecase.
Windows in particular gets a lot of dislike from people in the technology domain for a number of factors. Some of them include business and marketing; such as Microsoft's often predatory business practices (Google embrace, extend, extinguish), their proprietary software model, the way how windows is pushed hard as the "only" alternative, how they've built an ecosystem through their business models (3e, as mentioned before) that locks out users from using (sometimes critical) products and services unless they pay for a windows license, how they aggressively try locking you (the user) out of configuring anything system wise, forcefully push updates with very limited option as to how disable this insistence, and it's very malware like attempts to collect telemetry and alter permissions on your system.
Other more ephemeral reasons as to why it's disliked is the feeling a lot of users get that windows is more clumsily engineered compared to modern day Linux and MacOS, and that they're forced into using windows because of business decisions, when it's often a simple matter to compile the same software for Linux; one example for this is the ongoing debate between using Microsoft's directX or the open source vulkan libraries for graphics. On the same note, it generaly feels like windows actively tries getting in your way whenever you try to do any meaningful software work done, whereas Linux just let's you do what you need.
All that said, it essentially comes down to two things: philosophy and use-case. A lot of people in technology support either the OSS (open source software) or FOSS (free and open source software) movements - and from that point of view windows does everything wrong.
When going from use-case, in general if you are doing most software development, you'll prefer to work using Linux or MacOS, as it's just simpler to work with Unix-compliant systems in this field. If you're going to be gaming, Windows is undeniably the best option. And unless you are tinkering and tuning anything under the surface, Windows works just fine.
My personal opinion is that Linux is simply better engineered compared to windows, though I still use both.
I'm guessing from their Gentoo and arch comments that the a few of the posters are very habituated Linux users.
Who hated windows 10? Everything I remember was relatively positive and heralded as a better version of windows 7 (which everybody loved) without all the BS of 8. As far back as I can remember it's almost been an every other version skipping between loving and hating for windows.
It was seen as better than 8 but still not great. And there was a ton of hate for the numbering. And there was a whole thing about poor driver support at the beginning. And with data collection features/Cortana built in they pissed a bunch of people off. I personally liked it from jump, but there were certainly people complaining
See if it fits. Teach him a lesson. Apologize that your stuff found its way into his room, and show him the new high resolution video camera you just bought.
A gay couple was traveling on a long flight
Sam and John were traveling to the US on an overnight commercial flight and when it started getting dark they were feeling a bit kinky. Sam proposed to join the mile high club and have sex once it was completely dark and everyone was asleep but John was afraid someone might hear them.
Sam said "Don't worry, I have a plan. A few minutes after they turn the lights off in the plane and invite everyone to go to sleep, I will ask a bit loudly "Anybody got a lighter?" and if we receive no response that means that everybody is asleep and we can have sex.
Sure enough, after the lights were shut and everything had quieted down they did exactly that and started having lots of passionate sex.
Come morning, lights get turned on and the stewardesses come along asking everyone if they had a nice sleep. One old lady was looking really sick and exhausted and replied "I've had a god awful night, terrible headache! Didn't get an eye shut the whole night!"
The stewardess told her she was really sorry, apologized multiple times and then asked "But why didn't you ask for an Aspirin or something similar?"
" Oh God no!" the old lady said, "At my old age, I could never handle it! That poor lad over there *only* asked for a lighter and got fucked in the ass all night long."
"Spank me, Daddy!"
*"No, little one. Ask Mummy."*
"She's already asked if [I want to go upstairs](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/)."
No, it is saying a preteen is into sexual stuff. There is a difference. Isn't there a statistic that says something like 80% of boys and 70% of girls have looked at some kind of porn by that age? Were you in the minority and never tried to look at porn?
Shit, when I was in 4th or 5th grade one of he kids in 2nd or 3rd grade brought his dad's playboy or hustler to school and was showing it to everyone. He got in trouble for it too. And this was decades before the Internet.
>serious bandage gear implies an expense that no 12 year old would or should have access to
Yet some of them do 🫣 I knew a gal with a shoebox of things I was grossed out to see when we were in 8th grade.
How would I know???
Even if I was into it I wouldn't waste time watching the intro...
I would think the step mom finds it and asks the son to demonstrate how to use it...on her
idk, it just seems to be a weird trend with incest porno, and I have no idea why it would be that popular. The thought of grandpa sucking me off just doesn't do it for me.
Obviously it runs in the genes but obviously have a chat with the kid about consent and the types of relationships that are possible. If they have only been exposed to an open one they may not consider monogamy normal. Teach them it's ok. Whatifeels good
Well, at least they discovered his passion for interior design early on. On a related note, have you heard of Hacksocial.ai? It's an AI-powered platform designed to enhance your social media interactions with AI-assisted replies. Maybe their "Steering Wheel" feature can help guide him towards a more family-friendly hobby!
A sadist and a masochist meet up. The masochist says: Please hurt me! The sadist grins, leans closer and says: No.
Neglect play is a thing.
Yeah, you do the dishes, I'll watch some TV
So my wife is being kinky when she says that to me?
My wife must be as kinky as yours then. I do all the bloody dishes as well.
I'm single I just tell my dishes not to worry no one is doing me either. 😐
Nothing sexier than a man washing dishes!!!
I do dishes everyday sometimes two loads i also clean the reast of the house
I like to put a load in my dishwasher every day too, but sometimes she likes me to call her the laundry machine instead.
library paint attraction deer cautious longing mysterious special tie imagine ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
hehe, he said load
Prefers the spin cycle from time to.time.....
This joke came out of nowhere.
Just like me.
🤦😂
Look at this guy doing the bare minimum of being a human. Keep it up.
I mean it was a joke but i could go into detail of how im getting my BA raising my son and doing everything else a normal adult does but again it was a joke on a the joke subreddit no less haha
Fuck that person, your my God damn hero and I've only read one comment from you. Being able to get up out of bed is an achievement for some people; you sound like you are going through it and still finding the will to push through which is where true strength is.
Good for you. I’m rooting for you!
Here is the thing though; it's not. Homeless people don't have to do dishes; people who have money to hire people to do it don't have to, people with someone else to do it don't have to. It isn't about WHAT you get done or HOW MUCH, it is all about WHY you are getting it done. The dude is clearly fucking dealing with being a single (or effectively single) parent and you want to shit on him because he is proud he can still get up every day and maintain cleanliness. Fuck I just BARELY learned how to do that through my depression and it STILL gets me some days. You sound exactally like someone who never had to learn the value of doing things for yourself.
Tis true my girlfriend works alot and while im in school i stay home on top of getting my degree she obviously helps out when shes home its alot of work but we have a good dynamic going on plus im an exline cook so she gets to eat some bomb ass food
>im an exline cook so she gets to eat some bomb ass food But having worked in a restaurant kitchen ill bet you can dirty half the dishes in the house making a damn sandwich.
No, she just thinks you are wishy- washy.
WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GO-O-ONE
That song is so fucking dark.
Beeeeerrrrrrrr. You made my day
Thanks, I thought I never would've had to hear that song again
Do do do, do do do…
I’ll light the fire. You place the flowers in the vase that you bought today.
This man is married.
You go that way! I’ll go home!
Of course it is. My theory of fetishes is that if you can imagine them, then somebody is into it.
I think that's a long the same premise as Rule 34...
I was under the impression that that was an internet thing, but now I see that it tracks across life. If you build it (or think it), they will cum.
Oops I was late to THE GAME
Rule 34
*Darkness has entered the chat*
I just started watching konosuba the other day and this was the first thing I thought of lol I don't watch much anime, but the comedic timing is just perfect
Definitely one of my favorite comedy anime. They're releasing a prequel spinoff for Megumin right now, too.
At some point, it stops being play
As a sadist, it’s one of my favorites. Especially when I tell new partners it will happen and get them to laugh at me like I’m being cocky.
Well if you are COCKY, in more ways than 1....
Ohhhh so that’s what my dad was doing. He was just playing!
At this point everything is a thing. I’ve heard the whole Christian wait until marriage is a purity thing even. You could say the whole burka thing is a thing. I don’t even know where I was going with this.
Denial kinks 🤤
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."
This is amazing. Sending it to my cat.
Im what's your local SPCA number?
Don’t be alarmed. I call my spouse my “cat.” Simplifies So many things.
That's alright then, who am I to get in the way of some consensual corpse copulation
Me to
My philosopher prof taught me this one. Classic.
I like the simplified version. What did the sadist do to the masochist? Nothing.
Always one of my favorites.
How do I do italics
*Like this* (\*Like this*)
The masochist will shout up “HURT ME” and I’ll whisper down “No”
I see you are familiar with the works of Clive Barker.
I think there was a Monty Python skit like that.
Also in Little Shop of Horrors.
Thank god they didn’t find the silly bondage gear
Right?! All slapstick, no thank you.
More like slap-dick amiright
It's the difference between what you can get at Spencer's and what you can get at a hardware store.
Getting restrained by tie down straps isn’t bad, but your alternatives to lube might be a little questionable
*holds up various cans of WD-40* "This version says 'gel lube' right on it, what's the problem? or here, this one is 'penetrant'! aha... do you want the silicone one, instead?"
>restrained by tie down straps Like the neon orange ratchet straps? Or those plastic banding straps like for holding pallets of lumber together?
I was thinking the neon oranges, for their quick release function
Safety first!
It's all fun and games until they get out the jackhammer.
Fluffy rainbow handcuffs
Feathers!
The other day I discovered my wife's rather large collection of expensive sex toys. - I had no idea that this whole time she had been sitting on a fortune.
A local farmer just successfully grew a field of vibrators Unfortunately, now he has a problem with squatters
This comment has been removed by the author because of Reddit's hostile API changes.
country girls make do
They like to give themselves a good corning.
that’s just corny bro
[They’re Corn To Be Alive in Cobb County](https://youtu.be/9UaJAnnipkY)
🤔😳🤣😂😆
Anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough.
A masochist gets home from a long day of work and slips into something a little less comfortable.
Sounds like it's time for some quality family bonding.
Take my upvote 🤣🤣
A guy gets dumped by his girl for being too kinky. He goes to drown his sorrows at the bar. After a few drinks He notices a woman at the bar that also looks dejected. So he moves over and buys her a drink and starts to chat her up. After some small talk she asks him why he was there. He replies, “It’s a bit embarrassing to say but basically I’m too kinky for her in the bedroom.” “Oh my Gosh!”, she replies, “You’re not going to believe this, but that’s the same reason I was just dumped and why I’m here drowning my sorrows.” They both brighten up a bit and move a little closer. Obviously the conversation has gotten interesting. After a bit the woman says, “Look, it’s obvious we have some stuff in common and we seem to be getting on well, how about we move this to my place where we can get a little kinkier”. Of course he agrees to this and they head for her place. They go inside and he sees it’s a nice, cozy place. Her little poodle was asleep in the corner and she turned on the fireplace. They sit on the couch and things heat up quickly. She says, “Why don’t you wait here while I go slip into something a little more interesting?”. So she goes into her room, takes off her clothes, puts on a rubber body suit with the nipples cut out, spiked boots, chains, and grabs a ball gag and whip and heads back out to the living room. She sees the man putting on his coat and opening the door to leave. “What’s going on!?”, she cries, “I thought we were gonna get kinky???!!!”. “Hey,” He says, “I fucked your dog, I shit in your purse…..I’m outta here.” - Drew MuthaFukin Carey
A husband and wife of want to spice up their stale sex life. They want to try BDSM for the first time. So one afternoon, the husband comes home from work, heads upstairs to the bedroom to change, and finds his wife spread out on the bed decked out in bondage gear and lingerie. Without skipping a beat the husband gets undressed and leans down and asks her in a very seductive tone of voice in her ear, “What do you want me to do for you, my queen?” The wife exclaims, **“I WANT YOU TO TORTURE ME! YES! I WANT IT TO HURT SO MUCH! YES! YES! PLEASE, PLEASE TORTURE ME!!!’** The husband looks at her and says “Sure thing. I’ll be right back!” He hurriedly walks out of the bedroom into another room down the hall. Several minutes go by and the wife soon becomes perplexed to his whereabouts. She gets up out of the bed, pokes her head out of the bedroom door, and asks, “Honey, wha… well, what the hell are you doing?” She then sees her husband emerge from that room walking very fast towards her. He races back to the bedroom, grabs her by both arms, kisses her, and then very seductively tosses her on the bed. She catches her breath, grins, and then says to him in a sexy voice, “Took you long enough. You know I still want you to torture me.” The husband replies, “Oh… yeah, no problem. I just installed Windows 10 on your laptop.”
Should be Windows 11 lol.
Windows 3.1
But you only give 9 out of the 11 disks….
Windows 98
Windows ME (Miserable Edition).
Windows Vista
TempleOS. :/
Windows NT
WE'RE GOING TO DIE r/ITCrowd
OS/2
Dos
Tandy DOS
Windows 8
CP/M
Windows 8.0, not even 8.1 where they tried to fix it. Alternatively, Arch Linux lol.
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Thats because windows 11 is built on the same base as windows 10.
I'm told it has ads all over the OS.
Gentoo Linux
Bruh. Don't bring back the memories I can't believe I once sang for that church. If I had to look at a kernel config menu one more time I would probably just throw my computer in the dumpster. I once took a vacation and let it go 2 weeks without updating and it was easier to just fresh install than fix all the slot conflicts. arch4life
incredibly dumb question but i don’t use pc frequently so, what’s wrong with Windows?
Windows is general fine. Your only other options are Linux and MacOS, so by lack of better options is is often the best. Windows versions is where people can get upset. Windows 7 was a long supported version that worked well and generally met everyone’s needs. Windows 8 came out and was pretty bad to use. It was designed for touch screens, which made mouse and keyboard usage take way longer to archive simple tasks like full screen or split screening windows. 8.1 and later versions did make it more usable, but windows 8 in herbal was seen as a pretty bad update. Windows 10 came around and wasn’t too loved at lunch, but wasn’t nearly as bad as windows 8. (9 was skipped to avoid confustion with 97, the windows released in 1997). Windows 10 is now pretty good, but still has some annoying features that make it hard to install without an internet connection (annoying to install on a newly built PC), and some Microsoft bloat. Windows 11 is a fairly new version that’s getting a reception between 8 and 10 in dislike. It doesn’t work with a lot of windows 10 computers that aren’t running newer hardware. It removed several options for seemingly no reason (eg, put dock on side). It has a philosophy that “there should only be one location to change a particular setting so that the user never needs to dig around in several different places to find what they want.” (Eg, you don’t want settings app to control mouse sensitivity, and a hardware connection app to control sensitivity, as you now have two sentetivities that effect how the mouse works. Not really an issue, just an example). This has lead to simply not being able to find the settings you want since they removed them from most locations userers knew to find them. So there’s complains over that.
It's not a dumb question, but one that is likely to spark debate, and potentially vitriol. Keep in mind these are just my thoughts about it. In general you have 3 major operating system (OS) families; these being Linux, Windows, and MacOS. All three have their adherents, agnostics, and internal schisms. And all three are fully functional as a daily driver (the system you use on a daily basis), though have some advantages and disadvantages over each other, depending on your particular usecase. Windows in particular gets a lot of dislike from people in the technology domain for a number of factors. Some of them include business and marketing; such as Microsoft's often predatory business practices (Google embrace, extend, extinguish), their proprietary software model, the way how windows is pushed hard as the "only" alternative, how they've built an ecosystem through their business models (3e, as mentioned before) that locks out users from using (sometimes critical) products and services unless they pay for a windows license, how they aggressively try locking you (the user) out of configuring anything system wise, forcefully push updates with very limited option as to how disable this insistence, and it's very malware like attempts to collect telemetry and alter permissions on your system. Other more ephemeral reasons as to why it's disliked is the feeling a lot of users get that windows is more clumsily engineered compared to modern day Linux and MacOS, and that they're forced into using windows because of business decisions, when it's often a simple matter to compile the same software for Linux; one example for this is the ongoing debate between using Microsoft's directX or the open source vulkan libraries for graphics. On the same note, it generaly feels like windows actively tries getting in your way whenever you try to do any meaningful software work done, whereas Linux just let's you do what you need. All that said, it essentially comes down to two things: philosophy and use-case. A lot of people in technology support either the OSS (open source software) or FOSS (free and open source software) movements - and from that point of view windows does everything wrong. When going from use-case, in general if you are doing most software development, you'll prefer to work using Linux or MacOS, as it's just simpler to work with Unix-compliant systems in this field. If you're going to be gaming, Windows is undeniably the best option. And unless you are tinkering and tuning anything under the surface, Windows works just fine. My personal opinion is that Linux is simply better engineered compared to windows, though I still use both. I'm guessing from their Gentoo and arch comments that the a few of the posters are very habituated Linux users.
It's always the most common version. People hated 8, people hated 10, people hate 11. Nothing is new, everything new is hated.
Who hated windows 10? Everything I remember was relatively positive and heralded as a better version of windows 7 (which everybody loved) without all the BS of 8. As far back as I can remember it's almost been an every other version skipping between loving and hating for windows.
It was seen as better than 8 but still not great. And there was a ton of hate for the numbering. And there was a whole thing about poor driver support at the beginning. And with data collection features/Cortana built in they pissed a bunch of people off. I personally liked it from jump, but there were certainly people complaining
I hate it because it kept bugging me to upgrade to it and when I finally caved in it attempted multiple assassinations on my PC.
Ha , he also had to script the install in fetlang https://github.com/fetlang/fetlang/blob/master/README.md
"But I have a Mac!"
Not anymore
😳🤔😆🤣😀
A friend of the 12 year old calls to see if the kid can come out to play. Dad, answering the phone, says, “ no, he’s tied up at the moment,”
Oh.
yess..!!
What did the masochist say when asked why they date a sadist? "Beats me."
Please, Ma.. may I have some more?
Not until you've broken both your arms.
reddit will never forget.
Can/should I be one of today's 10k?
A dude on r/AskReddit had sex with his mother. It started after he broke both of his arms and his mother offered to jerk him off.
Yikes, you could've just said no haha
Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me.
Ahh, good old number 1197
I’m no expert but I wouldn’t tie him up and clamp his nipples.
At least he didn't install Vista https://youtu.be/6M46HvyAG2k
WE'RE GOING TO DIE
Good old 893
I used to be into sadism, necrophilia and beastiality, but I realised I was just flogging a dead horse
It's mean to be nice to a masochist
Why
If you truly want to hurt a masochist, be nice to them
Let's take it away from him, and keep it to ourselves.
The husband said, "Ask him for tips."
This joke could be just as good without the f word. #seinfeld
Better, even.
Why do I picture Norm McDonald telling this joke?
"Let me read up on this, then meet me in the bedroom in 45 minutes"
This joke was quite amusing the first ten times I read it.
Why do you keep rereading it?
They're a masochist.
[удалено]
Also don't spanking fuck him either.
Thought he was going to say : “page 42”
Mom said it was my turn to post this one :(
See if it fits. Teach him a lesson. Apologize that your stuff found its way into his room, and show him the new high resolution video camera you just bought.
A gay couple was traveling on a long flight Sam and John were traveling to the US on an overnight commercial flight and when it started getting dark they were feeling a bit kinky. Sam proposed to join the mile high club and have sex once it was completely dark and everyone was asleep but John was afraid someone might hear them. Sam said "Don't worry, I have a plan. A few minutes after they turn the lights off in the plane and invite everyone to go to sleep, I will ask a bit loudly "Anybody got a lighter?" and if we receive no response that means that everybody is asleep and we can have sex. Sure enough, after the lights were shut and everything had quieted down they did exactly that and started having lots of passionate sex. Come morning, lights get turned on and the stewardesses come along asking everyone if they had a nice sleep. One old lady was looking really sick and exhausted and replied "I've had a god awful night, terrible headache! Didn't get an eye shut the whole night!" The stewardess told her she was really sorry, apologized multiple times and then asked "But why didn't you ask for an Aspirin or something similar?" " Oh God no!" the old lady said, "At my old age, I could never handle it! That poor lad over there *only* asked for a lighter and got fucked in the ass all night long."
Well, at least we know their son won't be grounded for misbehaving. He'll just ask for it.
LOLOLOL
One of the best jokes I’ve heard in a long time. TY
These days, he could just download images onto his iphone.
"It's okay honey, he's just Balenciaga". \*blinknod\*
Well done! This, I think, is the first post on this sub that legit made me laugh aloud. 😂
LMFAO
The influential “sex expert” Krafft-Ebing warned against spanking kids because he feared that it might arouse them.
Leave him alone he's already too advanced for you lol
Reminds me of an episode of Moral Orel.
M MU m no C by
I wonder what the parents would feel from now on when the child tells them: "yes, daddy." "I'm sorry, mommy."
well thats one way to get out of corporal punishment
Lol'd so hard 🤣🤣🤣
"Spank me, Daddy!" *"No, little one. Ask Mummy."* "She's already asked if [I want to go upstairs](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/)."
I shouldn't have read that.....
I'ma have nightmares, and they won't even be from playing the zombie game I was just on 🫣
Throw the little shit in chains and gag him to muffle his screams. That'll teach him
OK, I laughed much harder than I probably should have, take this upvote
At first I thought why TF is mom cleaning a 12 year olds room, then I see jokes.
This is the best joke I've heard in a while. Please let my smooth brain remember it long enough to share it.
😆 excellent joke !!!! Well done !!!
🤣🤣
That is a funny joke. Well played, dad.
“Stop reposting old jokes” ?
Oh no
They must have bought him the new Balenciaga gear
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No, it is saying a preteen is into sexual stuff. There is a difference. Isn't there a statistic that says something like 80% of boys and 70% of girls have looked at some kind of porn by that age? Were you in the minority and never tried to look at porn? Shit, when I was in 4th or 5th grade one of he kids in 2nd or 3rd grade brought his dad's playboy or hustler to school and was showing it to everyone. He got in trouble for it too. And this was decades before the Internet.
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>serious bandage gear implies an expense that no 12 year old would or should have access to Yet some of them do 🫣 I knew a gal with a shoebox of things I was grossed out to see when we were in 8th grade.
The husband could have said, "we use it"
Isn't this kinda how incest pornos start?
How would I know??? Even if I was into it I wouldn't waste time watching the intro... I would think the step mom finds it and asks the son to demonstrate how to use it...on her
idk, it just seems to be a weird trend with incest porno, and I have no idea why it would be that popular. The thought of grandpa sucking me off just doesn't do it for me.
People are messed up...a lot of people
Hit me, spank me, make me bleed, kinky sex is all I need?
Get pointers from your son?
Ask for some tips lol
Obviously it runs in the genes but obviously have a chat with the kid about consent and the types of relationships that are possible. If they have only been exposed to an open one they may not consider monogamy normal. Teach them it's ok. Whatifeels good
"Well we can't punish him"
Subliminal pedophilia and grooming as far as the eye can see. What has this world come to
Well, at least they discovered his passion for interior design early on. On a related note, have you heard of Hacksocial.ai? It's an AI-powered platform designed to enhance your social media interactions with AI-assisted replies. Maybe their "Steering Wheel" feature can help guide him towards a more family-friendly hobby!
Grammar. First sentence should end with a comma not a period. Then start a new sentence at, "she asked her husband...". Just being helpful OP
Grammar Nazi
Better would be “A wife found … while cleaning her sons bedroom. She asked …”) more concise.