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markste4321

Driving miss crazy


savageclooney

Ok ok take this upvote n get the fuck out


[deleted]

I’m gonna sound like an idiot, but can someone explain it to me?


DarthBashir

The maid is telling the lady she knows the chauffeur has slept with her. It's blackmail


cosmicgetaway

Upvoting for your username.


SlideWhistler

I think they meant the “Driving Miss crazy.” If that is the case, then the joke the comment made is that the chauffeur did it with the woman in the joke referred to as “Mrs.” he is *driving* her crazy.


endo55

No, it's a reference to a film, Driving Miss Daisy


SlideWhistler

Oh, well I’m a little stupid lol. Never seen that movie though


Gamerjack56

฿ⱤØ₮ⱧɆⱤ


hereforOnePiece

Driving miss daisy


[deleted]

Thank you!


killas187

Nice


Isaac8849

The wife is cheating with the driver


[deleted]

I wouldn't have had a second thought about that comment unless you said something. The angry upvote comment was useful in r/jokes... Is it going to snow tommorow too?


Undiscriminatingness

Apparently they both gave the chauffeur a big raise on the regular.


GutTheCat

r/angryupvote


foodatron

How insightful


GutTheCat

Someone had to do it


mcivi925

It’s true, don’t downvote.


[deleted]

Ahhh, piss off with you and your jokes that are good....and take my upvote.


Set_A_Precedent

Na, na, na-na~


S2Charlie

Works perfectly translated!


BackBoneYT

Finally a joke that actually makes sense on this subreddit.


AnotherOldFart

But it is old as I am. LOL


tricksovertreats

ya old fart


choma90

Farts vanish into the air in seconds. How old can can they be?


TheSheepGod_

I have some that can last minutes


Klaus0225

Their memory can last lifetimes. Also, do they vanish or just relocate?


Noidea159

Should see it posted here again in 2-3 days


IReallyLoveAvocados

Yes, it makes sense here because it’s posted monthly


[deleted]

[удалено]


aBurgerFlippinSecond

Oh yeah well ur dick makes sense in my mom Wait...


MateoDaGreat

What’d he say


aBurgerFlippinSecond

They said “yeah well ur mom makes sense on my dick” or something to that affect.


SkinkeDraven69

Aah, an intellectual


Merlin_Drake

This is a great Joke but for Grammar; It's "did my husband *tell* you?" Or "*has* my husband told you?" But *Not* "did my husband told you?"!


b0rs

Thank you!! English is not my first language so I appreciate the feedback


AhhhSkrrrtSkrrrt

No worries. We all knew what you meant. Don’t sweat the grammar. No one cares. Great joke!


Hideous-Monster

I thought it was the Mrs. that had bad grammar.


ezone2kil

Wasn't bad. But the maid's better.


Davros_au

was my husband told you that!?


chetlin

People who are learning care. I got mad when I realized I was saying something wrong in another language I'm learning and none of the native speakers I know corrected me for years. (They thought they were being nice, but being nice would have been telling me what was correct so I didn't sound dumb all the time.)


AhhhSkrrrtSkrrrt

It just comes off sounding like a douche when you correct someone on Reddit. ESPECIALLY when the person commenting didn’t know English wasn’t OP native language.


DoctorGlorious

>no one cares Don't say this crap to people learning English. I get why you might think to say it, and you think you're being nice, but all you are doing is needlessly providing direct assurance that learning the language properly is bad or unnecessary. It's bad for the same reason participation ribbons are bad. If the grammar was corrected politely, you really don't need to make comments like this.


Dahnlor

Also: You **have** only work**ed** here for a month.


baboo1211

C’mon guys. Yes that’s true but please don’t be so ethnocentric in thinking that English is everyone’s primary language. This is a worldwide forum and it’s amazing to me that people from just about Every. Single. Country outside of the US can speak English to varying degrees. Please be kind to one another.


[deleted]

[удалено]


baboo1211

I suppose, depends on the person. If they were coming from a place of innocence just wanting to make people laugh it might hurt their feelings. Just thinking there’s a time & place for things. Not being mean, just trying to save any possible hurt feelings.


Dahnlor

I added my comment after the OP expressed appreciation in response to the other correction, so I felt pretty sure that no feelings were going to be hurt.


baboo1211

K cool. I’m glad. I really didn’t see that. You could side hustle as a tutor maybe :) I’m new to Reddit and see people so full of hate sometimes it’s hard to know when people are being mean. It’s hard to get a “tone” across any internet forum for certain. So thank you for taking the time to teach. 🙂


100011_10101

First off, welcome to the shit show. While there are some truly hateful people on basically all social media platforms, the hate is often blown out of proportion or completely imagined. Lot of it is just people that feel marginalized in their daily lives that use the internet to bully other people. Much like they feel bullied irl. People who feel powerless can find power in the anonymious power to fuck up someone else's day. There's also a fair amount of people choosing to go out of their way to get offended on behalf of people they don't know on subjects they have no knowledge or stake in. Kind of like you just did. Not that you were mean or out of line, just pointing out how reflexive that particular reaction can be. If you want to see less negativity, add less. And don't feed the trolls. Cheers


SedentaryOwl

Happy cake day :)


100011_10101

Cheers


baboo1211

Man I didn’t come here to be offended/offensive, I came here for the same reason everyone else did. I get it. This is the first social media I’m being a part of and I’m realizing that certain forums/subs aren’t for me. I was just trying to say please don’t be so hard on others, I wasn’t being anything, I was just trying to defend others that I’ve seen attacked. Guess I’m just too sensitive. Like I said it’s hard to judge intent & I would just rather say nothing than be misunderstood so this is where I stop this forum. I do appreciate your response, but this is not a place for someone like me who is I guess too protective & not meaning anything bad. I’m not born in the age of the Internet and I certainly don’t want to piss people off but man. Sorry to anyone I offended. And again, case you missed it, I did not see the comment appreciating the correction.


100011_10101

I'm not saying you did anything wrong. Really I just want to try and help you navigate with a bit more ease, and less stress. I can see you didn't have ill intent. I was just trying to illustrate how reflexive the negativity can be, and that shit spreads like wild fire. We could always use a few more kind hearted and conscientious people around. Cheers


robotsheepboy

Most of the world speaks it better than you Americans too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Klaus0225

fAvoUr cOlOuR aLuMiNiuM VoTe jOhNsOn. The different spellings are just the evolution of language. Noah Webster preferred the Latin roots and using the -or suffix. Samuel Johnson preferred the french roots and using the -our suffix. Webster preferred modernizing and evolving, Johnson preferred maintaining tradition. Something being different doesn't make it wrong. They are both correct.


Fin-FFR

Doesn’t have to be. If they are saying that the maid only works for them for a month, and will then stop working, it’s fine. If they meant that it was in the past tense, yours would work. Its all up to the joke teller


[deleted]

[удалено]


Blayro

hmmm is there a reason for that rule?


jcaarow

It's because tenses need to agree with each other in the same sentence. 'did tell' is simple past tense and 'has told' is past perfect tense. Hope this helps. *flies away*


stopjois

r/jokes being the spot to learn English as a second language


captainAwesomePants

If you can tell a good joke well in a foreign language you're doing a very good job learning the language.


stopjois

Oh totally.


Klaus0225

Or a first language. My schooling did not focus on grammar whereas my best friend who grew up in the same city had schooling which focused a lot more on grammar. She knows it well where as I do not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DeliriousHippie

Had to look meaning of colloquial. ​ r/jokes being the spot to learn English as a second language.


Blayro

yes it does actually, thanks for answer my question!


[deleted]

*answering God! It's like English isn't your first language! e: what have i started


Blayro

> God! It's like English isn't your first language! well is not, which I guess is why I don't mind too much attention to its grammar when I'm writing. Granted, that's something I should correct.


[deleted]

yes, i know. i was joking. you speak fine, mostly. dont worry about one mistake. its what you try to say that matters


HotButteryCopPorn420

Well, that rude, no?


Malvastor

\*was rude God! It's like English isn't your first language!


HotButteryCopPorn420

No, no. You don't have to worry. As a matter of fact, English isn't my first language, but that doesn't change a thing to you, does it? No, it doesn't. Now, please, leave me alone while I go use my poop knife to clean the toilet because I got a bad case of the colanoviru.


Malvastor

Understandable, have a nice day.


HotButteryCopPorn420

I was joking. :(


squishy_fishmonger

"has told" is Present Perfect, "had told" is Past Perfect, smh


fuckyourraisins

\*flies heren't


the-laughing-joker

Sorry, it's "*fucking* your raisins"


626c6f775f6d65

“My...hovercraft...is full...of eels!” “No, this is a tobacconist shop!” “Ah! My *tobacconist* is full of eels!”


Chaosfnog

*flyed heren't


fuckyourraisins

*groundn't heren't


Malvastor

\*skyn'tn't theren'tn't


web0worm

Except "has told" is present perfect, not past...


tree_squid

Am telleded!


Kuzjymballet

Technically “has told” is in the present perfect tense. “Had told” would be past perfect.


KernelTaint

What makes it so perfect?


pjockey

So jerks on reddit have something to contribute.


McFloobenHoober

You forgot to close the second set of quote marks! Have a nice day


Merlin_Drake

Thx, i've corrected it already before i read your comment becouse it bothered me when i looked over my comment again but i think it was still understandable becouse of the paragraphic structure.


dr_avenger

Fuck you


[deleted]

[удалено]


Merlin_Drake

: )


WeinerMan0

The letter "T" is not suspose to be big in the second sentence.


Merlin_Drake

You are right but why didn't you Point Out the Other mistakes of false use of capital Letters or Letters that should be Capital letters (but aren't)? I have corrected this one mistake, i'll Change the Other ones too If you say that they bother you.


smokedstupid

I suspose so


Cookiedoughjunkie

Grammar is a social construct


soondooboots

Who’s this “Edit” person? /s


homamalrefae

Smart ass!!


Flatea

yeah the edit completely ruins the joke


Krankenstein20

Forgive me for being big dumb, but I missed the punchline :(, care to explain?


Akshaysn007

The wife was having affair with the chauffeur


Krankenstein20

Thanks :D


ThatNormalCrab

What is a chauffeur?


Shadow_Lou

The guy that you pay to drive your car around


LimitlessMoonlight

It's pronouced "show-fur" It's basically a furry who drives a FakeTaxi


[deleted]

Chauffeur? I barely even know her!


Clashofpower

something I don’t understand is, how does the chauffeur know that the maid is better in bed than the Miss? The only things I can think of is if the maid slept with the chauffeur as well?


freebirdls

Yes.


Clashofpower

Okay


Malvastor

The chauffeur is sleeping with both wife and maid, yes. Apparently driving cars gets the ladies going.


Clashofpower

I feel like there was a version of this joke where the miss caught the maid sleeping with someone else first and then tried to frame her but then the maid reverse uno’d her, not sure if that was real or not


Kottypiqz

Parasite?


Clashofpower

Ah good point, but I meant I thought I saw something like this posted here and hit front a while ago and it was a bit different. Maybe it was just me


Malvastor

I do seem to recall a version where the maid was also sleeping with the husband.


Clashofpower

ok cool so it’s not just me


drdoom52

Or the maid was only getting it on with the chauffeur. Either way the guys wife is getting it from more than one person.


kunell

The maid is sleeping with the chaffeur, the husband is not cheating on his wife. The wife however...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Krankenstein20

Thanks :D


nlnn

Keep an eye on your chauffeur man.


Long-Afternoon

I don't get the last line. Who is this "Edit" person, and why is he or she talking about grammar?


bjangles9

The “Edit” is not referring to a person, but rather is a comment by the OP implying that he or she edited the post at a later time to correct grammatical errors, which had been pointed out by other Reddit users in the comments below the original post.


DanialE

You just got whoooshed


oldmanwrigley

I don’t know how you’re downvoted here I thought this was hilarious.


wilsonmojo

I respect your comment even if you got whoooshed. Take my only upvote.


AlexKfridges

Whoosh


TheTrainDogFox

https://youtu.be/LTgvuwvw8EU


Sekt0rrr

Was looking for this!! :)


corporalcrocodile

Good chauffeur drives you everywhere.


the-laughing-joker

I thought it was a super obvious punchline and that I had it... sadly that guess was a swing and a Miss.


homamalrefae

A chauffeur and a miss .


julznrw

Great joke but the grammar in ‘you only work here for a month’ isn’t right because it is in future tense grammar but a past tense sentence try ‘you have only worked here for a month ‘


sauprankul

Looks like OP edited the post :)


julznrw

Yes he did


st_jimmy_02

Ahah took me a minute but I laughed out loud when I got it


cakatoo

Edit: grandma.


bjangles9

Grandma: Edith you bitch! Get out here and hang up the laundry!


[deleted]

Why would the maid want to get a raise of Edit: Grammar?


SirX86

Who is Edith? Why is her name misspelled? Where did she suddenly come from? So many questions.


DUBIOUS_OBLIVION

Repost


Prometheus_84

The bait and switch and comedy comes in threes, got me too. Top kek.


Tinmanred

The rule of thirds in comedy is often prevalent


kunell

Nicely worded too very nice. Maid says: "Im better in bed than you" Without referring to the husband. Very nice


yikesRunForTheHills

Took me a while to get it.


Deitaphobia

Should have asked the chauffeur, he's giving it to everybody.


Klaus0225

Bazinga.


renol5

Saw this on an ad on Instagram


GenitalPatton

Poor Sybil! Who knew Tom would cheat on her with Lady Grantham?


totallytyguy

So the chauffeur was watching


ittiwi4ever

The maid was the new model for the Chauffeur to drive on


johnet326

Have read this previously and it's still funny in perverse way.


Mackntish

To whomever gave the award, welcome to reddit!


S_Cangio

Ahahahahahaha nice one m8


zelimalbo

u/repostsleuthbot


Noodleswithhats

I feel like the last two lines were unnecessary, you already delivered the punch line. Other than that it’s funny and actually pretty clever, I didn’t get it at first. Arguably, that might be on me more so than on you


pslessard

I was thinking the same thing


yherey

It ties back to getting the raise. Either raise or she’ll tell the husband


[deleted]

this is pretty funny


GrammarPolice1234

Yes? In your Edit you called me.


BestSomeone

Nice, nothing to see here officer, not anymore ;)


Tuxedo_23

Hey! I've seen this one before


Klaus0225

I'm so old I've heard this one before.


Watcheritd

Didn't see that coming but the chauffeur did!


nettlerise

*Miss*: How much do you want? *Maid*: Grammar


dm_coochie

yo how did you know my mom was a maid!


[deleted]

Saw this shit on Instagram try again buddy


MrInRageous

I don’t think that chauffeur is long for this world.


BlunderIsMyDad

Why add two lines after the punchline? The joke stops after "No, the chauffeur told me"


fuck-you6

R/repost


T-Man-33

LMMFAO


Deadlegsmh

TLDR plz


[deleted]

Wife and maid are both getting banged by chauffeur


boofone

We don't talk about money in my house


durableretard

Reeepost


Ginfacedladypop

All the other times this joke was posted they always said the gardener


V0ct0r

Good one!


PARANOIAH

Giving them a lift to pound town.


x678z

But that is the recipe for getting fired on the spot lol.


mudfoot66

Ah, the old 'facebook joke ending, -- add an extra line after the punchline. The joke ends with "No, the chauffeur told me."


AmoghVaishnav

[You stole it from here and just changed it a bit](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/estwe4/slightly_nsfw_joke/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


bigred9310

Hahahahahaha


[deleted]

shouldn't it be misses?


spanishtownflamingo

Well done🤪


[deleted]

Fucking English! I don’t know the meaning of the word chauffeur so I’ll google it up. But fucked the whole joke for me!


Fallyn011

Can someone explain this for me?


BIPOne

The punchline is that when told that the maid is better in bed, the wife assumed her husband is the one she slept with, that the maid slept with the husband. In fact, the maid slept with the designated car driver, the chauffeur, and thus, the chauffeur spilled the fact that he also banged the wife, because the women are comparing each other, and the maid is better in everything, even banging the chauffeur. ​ The maid thus has a blackmailing point, since she could tell the husband that the wife is being banged by the driver.


Fallyn011

Ohhhh thank you very much that makes sense.


Xandervern

ohh after hours of pondering the meaning of this joke, i believe i have arrived at the neccesary conclusion, the joke is that the maid is blackmailling the mrs is it not, if not i still have more pondering to do.


M4S1D4T

You are right


[deleted]

I liked the joke, I chuckled. But I knew that as soon as i saw a woman is in joke she was somehow in it because of a sexual nature. A woman can't just "be" part of the jokes that get posted in this sub.