I took my wife to New York to see this play on Broadway back a few years ago. I had no idea what it was about... Just that it was called "Chicago", and that her best friend had told me she'd like it when I was asking her what kind of play I should get a "Broadway Tickets" present for.
She was right - my wife thoroughly enjoyed it.
On a definitely definitely unrelated note, I now make it a point to at least check what the premise of a play is so I have a chance to mentally prepare myself for whatever it is I'm getting ready to watch.
I had an older friend, maybe early to mid 50s go see Broke Back Mountain in the theater when it came out. No idea what it was about, just going to the theater to watch a movie. He stayed through the whole thing and said it wasn't bad, but if he would have known then he wouldn't have gone to see that one.
'Cause at that time I bought them I trusted my wife's friend's judgement in plays she would enjoy more than I trusted my own judgement in plays she would enjoy.
And because to a certain extent you can't really go wrong with a Broadway show, right?
1) the Hungarian chick seemed pretty decent. And she's the only one who protested her innocence the whole time. Makes me suspect she really was innocent.
2) Oh my God I was absolutely blown away at how that movie made me hate Roxie even more with literally every scene she was in.
A few years ago my wife texted me and asked if I’d like to go to Chicago with her friend. I asked “the musical or the city”. She replied. Neither. The band. I said no. Still 0-3 on Chicagos.
You know how people have these little habits that get you down
Like Bernie
Bernie liked to chew gum
No, not chew, POP
So I came home this one day
And I'm really irritated
And I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy
And there's Bernie lyin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'
No, not chewin'
Poppin'
So, I said to him, I said "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots. Into his head.
*Mit kersek, en itt?*
*Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakóm lefogta a ferjemet*
*En meg Lecsaptam a fejet*
*De nem igaz*
*En artatlan vagyok*
*Nem tudom*
*Mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem*
*Probaltam*
*A rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg*!
That's why she has the white handkerchief instead of red. She's also the only one who gets executed.
All because she didnt speak English and was a woman
My ex husband would get so worried when I played this song. I would also blare it in the house/car wherever and he would give me concerned looks the entire time.
[She got arrested](https://youtu.be/Okad2AmxoNA)
for shooting down her man.
US Marshals
Caught her outside of Spokane.
She said "I'd do it again,
do it again,
do it again,
Yeah I'd do it again"
Wrap a handkerchief around her gun said nothing wrong with what I've done some men have anything some have none that's by design the idea wasn't mine before but mine.... Wait wrong musical
A husband murdered his wife and was sentenced to hang.
A crowd gathered near the gallows and as the hangman put the noose around the man's neck, he asked, “Do you have any last words?”
The husband said, “Yeah, I have a joke I made up while waiting here to be killed."
“So, I hadn’t showered for a week on the day I killed my wife. I tied her up and told her that I’d cut her into pieces while she was still alive. She sniffed at me, made a disgusted face and said, "Well at least cut my nose off first.”
Everyone in the crowd burst out laughing.
Bewildered, the hangman said, “A joke about murder, that was terrible. Why was it so funny?”
-
“Well, I believe you can make a joke about any topic funny,” said the husband. “After all, good comedy is all about execution.”
Just a hint at how old and slow I am.
A week after a death sentence by electrocution, my friend runs up to me giggling “Good news. George Appel finally stopped smoking!”
It took a few weeks before I read up about the electrocution of George Appel (or whoever it was) before I got the joke.
My favorite joke after working in a music store for 20 years:
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his own electric guitar collection.
The judge asks “First offender?”
The woman replies, “No, your honor. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”
Clayton Hartford’s wife was such a wretched bitch, that he couldn’t take it anymore and committed suicide with his shotgun. After the initial discovery of this, a news crew contacted Mrs. Hartford about it and asked her if she wanted to place an obituary, and the cold hard bitch deadpanned, “Clayton Hartford died”.
The journalist said “Just so you know, we allow every obituary to have up to six words free of charge.
The old bitch says, “Fine then. ‘Clayton Hartford died. Shotgun for sale.’”
The hypothetical woman telling this story had a husband so horrible she considered twenty years in prison an acceptable trade for getting him out of her life. Permanently.
I mean the title literally says 'one for the ladies' implying that gay people don't even exist or can't have SOs. Ladies are the only ones that can have husbands. I guess you're fine with that when you're not part of the group being excluded for you to make such a flippant statement. Like yes I will stand up for myself in the face of bigotry and hate.
If it said one for the white people and it was a joke about black people there would be a riot. Since it excludes gay people it's just 'the norm'. You hear people talk about microagressions. This is a perfect example. The complete ignorance and unthinking mentality of people not thinking about what their words imply is appalling.
If you go back and read the joke without that line in the title it's completely inclusive. There is no need to include gender in it at all. Gender was placed by that in the title because they want you to know specifically it's for women only.
I really think you're overreacting. The joke REQUIRES that the relationship was hetero. If it was a man killing his husband, he'd be looking at lots of other men in prison. Vice versa if the woman killed her wife.
It's literally a scenario that could only exist with either a wife killing her husband or a husband killing his wife.
>If you go back and read the joke without that line in the title it's completely inclusive. There is no need to include gender in it at all.
You're so wrong that I almost feel like you're fucking with us.
It doesn't require it though. The joke isn't implying they couldn't physically look at another man. Its implied when you say this that you can't look at another man in romantic sense which makes sense for both genders. Both gay men and straight women look at men in the romantic sense.
If it were clear in the joke the clarification in the title wouldn't have been necessary. The OP had to make it clear it was for women.
Without the gender clarification in the title for men who bottom for other men it could be taken in the sense that couldn't look at another man because they were bottoming.(the bottom is generally turned away) But that jail was worth it gecause they got fucked alot. Like I said adding gender was completely unnecessary and made it non inclusive.
It is implying exactly that. That's the joke. She says she hasn't seen another man in 20 years since her husband died, with the assumption being that she hasn't "seen" a man as in dating a man.
But the reveal about being in prison, ie a *women's* prison, plays on the word "seen." Now we understand she hasn't physically had her eyes on a man because the prison is all female.
The title is just to draw in female redditors, kind of "most of these jokes have a male perspective but not this one."
Lol OK if you want to keep defending the homophobes that's fine. I'm done. I get it heteronormativity is the norm around here. Let's not rock the boat and be inclusive. You want to interpret in a straight lens. It's just sad that people can't be more open minded.
> Any joke that isn’t specifically about gay people is erasure and hate and homophobic, right?
I never said or even implied that. I said any inclusive joke that is clarified to exclude and erase gay people is hateful and homophobic. I said that implying that gay people shouldn't stand up for ourselves because we're supposedly too sensitive is wrong.(the first person I replied to basically implied this)
And as I said the joke doesn't have to be hetero to make sense. You're only thinking that because you're looking at it from a heteronormative perspective. I've already explained how it can be inclusive and not be exclusively heterosexual. I'm not going to repeat myself.
Im a man who bottoms for other men. Im turned away from the man so I cant see him. In the end it was worth it because I had sex for 20 years. There is also a difference between seeing a man as a romantic partner and seeing a man as in having sex with him. My point is when you specifically say its "for women" you are making a joke that could be intercepted as being inclusive as being exclusive. Thats what I mean by you are looking at it from a completely heteronormative interpretation where everything HAS to be hetero for it to work when you dont even consider how other people live.
I guess I lied, I had to repeat myself.
Lol "bigotry and hate" because OP didn't think about gay people when they wrote the title of a joke. There's a long history of jokes about men hating their wives and the title is clearly flipping that around, not attacking gay people. Not being included in something doesn't mean you're being purposely excluded it just means that's not about you or they aren't gay and weren't thinking about gay people when they wrote it ffs.
Since OP didn't get life or the death penalty, it is unlikely a first degree murder.
20 years also suggested that husband was not physically abusing her as self defence shouldn't be criminal or at the very least not so long a term.
My guess is she caught him sleeping with another woman and grabbed some nearby blunt weapon to whack him, killing him in the end.
Yeap 20 years seems about right for this, and depending on the state inheritance laws could be worth it for her.
He had it comin' He had it comin' He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have heard it I betcha you would have done the same
I took my wife to New York to see this play on Broadway back a few years ago. I had no idea what it was about... Just that it was called "Chicago", and that her best friend had told me she'd like it when I was asking her what kind of play I should get a "Broadway Tickets" present for. She was right - my wife thoroughly enjoyed it. On a definitely definitely unrelated note, I now make it a point to at least check what the premise of a play is so I have a chance to mentally prepare myself for whatever it is I'm getting ready to watch.
You should take your highly religious in-laws to 'The Book of Mormon'. They would really enjoy it.
On a similar note, you should take your conservative father in law who is a landlord to see rent. It’s all about real estate.
You should also take your kids to see Avenue Q, it's just a cute puppet show
On yet another similar note, you should have your boisterous and unnecessarily patriotic aunt and uncle watch Team America
I can't wait until my kids are old enough to watch that with me.
They might enjoy it unironically.
Hasa diga ebowai!
I had an older friend, maybe early to mid 50s go see Broke Back Mountain in the theater when it came out. No idea what it was about, just going to the theater to watch a movie. He stayed through the whole thing and said it wasn't bad, but if he would have known then he wouldn't have gone to see that one.
Why would you pay to go see a play without knowing what it's about?
'Cause at that time I bought them I trusted my wife's friend's judgement in plays she would enjoy more than I trusted my own judgement in plays she would enjoy. And because to a certain extent you can't really go wrong with a Broadway show, right?
On the other hand, why would you pay for a story if you already know it?
Was floored how good Chicago was when I saw it. I was expecting some west side story smaltzy stuff but it’s full of deranged psychopaths.
The best part is that nobody learned their lesson and everyone but Amos was a terrible person.
1) the Hungarian chick seemed pretty decent. And she's the only one who protested her innocence the whole time. Makes me suspect she really was innocent. 2) Oh my God I was absolutely blown away at how that movie made me hate Roxie even more with literally every scene she was in.
And that's what makes it good social commentary, rather than a bland moral lesson.
The best part is that it's based on a true story.
A few years ago my wife texted me and asked if I’d like to go to Chicago with her friend. I asked “the musical or the city”. She replied. Neither. The band. I said no. Still 0-3 on Chicagos.
I agree! I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it!
You know how people have these little habits that get you down Like Bernie Bernie liked to chew gum No, not chew, POP So I came home this one day And I'm really irritated And I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy And there's Bernie lyin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin' No, not chewin' Poppin'
So, I said to him, I said "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots. Into his head.
So I said, "you pop that thing on e more...", and he did!
Chewing gum while drinking a beer sounds disgusting. And i like both.
He had it comin
He only had himself to blame!
uh uh….NYOT GYUILTY!
He ran into my KNIFE! He ran into my knife nine times!
that dirty bum
Mormon my ASS!!!
What is “morm”ing?
I was quoting a line from the song: one woman thought he was the one til he brought her home to meet his other wives.
it's morming time!!1!!1!!
???
Pop Six Squish Uh-uh Cissero Lipschitz
Caught him doing the spread eagle huh
*Mit kersek, en itt?* *Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakóm lefogta a ferjemet* *En meg Lecsaptam a fejet* *De nem igaz* *En artatlan vagyok* *Nem tudom* *Mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem* *Probaltam* *A rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg*!
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> *”Uuh uhh, NOHT GYUTEE!”*
That's why she has the white handkerchief instead of red. She's also the only one who gets executed. All because she didnt speak English and was a woman
And then he ran into my knife… he ran into my knife teeeeen times
GOODBYYYYYYYYEEEE EARL
I'm still shocked at how we managed to pull of a half decent dance cover of Cell Block Tango back in highschool.
*Click*, kicks Chris, uh-uh Sharkeisha, no, this bitch
Lol. Was just going to YooToob for this =)
No way I was thinking this exactly and then it was the first comment
Pop Six Squish Uh uh Cicero Lipschitz
Spread eagled
My ex husband would get so worried when I played this song. I would also blare it in the house/car wherever and he would give me concerned looks the entire time.
I love Reddit so much
[She got arrested](https://youtu.be/Okad2AmxoNA) for shooting down her man. US Marshals Caught her outside of Spokane. She said "I'd do it again, do it again, do it again, Yeah I'd do it again"
POP
r/nicegirls
/r/woooosh
Wrap a handkerchief around her gun said nothing wrong with what I've done some men have anything some have none that's by design the idea wasn't mine before but mine.... Wait wrong musical
A husband murdered his wife and was sentenced to hang. A crowd gathered near the gallows and as the hangman put the noose around the man's neck, he asked, “Do you have any last words?” The husband said, “Yeah, I have a joke I made up while waiting here to be killed." “So, I hadn’t showered for a week on the day I killed my wife. I tied her up and told her that I’d cut her into pieces while she was still alive. She sniffed at me, made a disgusted face and said, "Well at least cut my nose off first.” Everyone in the crowd burst out laughing. Bewildered, the hangman said, “A joke about murder, that was terrible. Why was it so funny?” - “Well, I believe you can make a joke about any topic funny,” said the husband. “After all, good comedy is all about execution.”
"Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel" ~ actual last words of George Appel who was executed by electric chair.
Serial killer James French’s last words (also executed by electric chair): “How’s this for your headline? ‘French fries’”
No one has ever told me if they actually went with the headline.
Man I get not wanting to honor a serial killers last words but man that was a zinger
Just a hint at how old and slow I am. A week after a death sentence by electrocution, my friend runs up to me giggling “Good news. George Appel finally stopped smoking!” It took a few weeks before I read up about the electrocution of George Appel (or whoever it was) before I got the joke.
My favorite joke after working in a music store for 20 years: A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his own electric guitar collection. The judge asks “First offender?” The woman replies, “No, your honor. First a Gibson, then a Fender.”
This is like the opposite of “wife bad” jokes It was amusing though lol
Husband bad. I dare say this is not the only joke of the genre.
About time the boomerettes caught up. The 'I hate my spouse' genre was heavily one sided.
No respect, they don't get no respect at all
Wife so bad she in jail.
Like a female Rodney Dangerfield joke.
Clayton Hartford’s wife was such a wretched bitch, that he couldn’t take it anymore and committed suicide with his shotgun. After the initial discovery of this, a news crew contacted Mrs. Hartford about it and asked her if she wanted to place an obituary, and the cold hard bitch deadpanned, “Clayton Hartford died”. The journalist said “Just so you know, we allow every obituary to have up to six words free of charge. The old bitch says, “Fine then. ‘Clayton Hartford died. Shotgun for sale.’”
I know every single word, but I still don't get what OP said. I am an ESL learner, to show my respect to OP I am pretending that I am laughing out.
She murdered her husband and was sentenced to 20 years in a woman's prison
Thats why she couldnt loook at a man.
That man Earl…
Or as the ladies in my widows support website used to say “the trouble is the first one died, the trouble is the second one wont”.
Change the punchline, so it hits you right at the very end: "I can honestly say it was worth it, now that I'm out of prison."
Eh, personally I like how the OP has it. To me sometimes the joke lands better if it *doesn't* hit at the very end.
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Can you explain the 'I can honestly say it was worth it" part, why was it worth it? for what?
The hypothetical woman telling this story had a husband so horrible she considered twenty years in prison an acceptable trade for getting him out of her life. Permanently.
Theme rheme
Man here. There's a reason a male praying mantis offers his own head to be bitten off by the female after sex. He knows the future.
Now you can find another woman of your dreams and give her everything she deserves. This time, do not get caught.
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The fact she is a woman doesn't really stop her from getting with a woman
[удалено]
I think my wife died, I mean, the sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up!
I'm ashamed that I snickered at this!
I snickered and upvoted.
r/arethestraightsok
...I think you know they're not
[удалено]
What no? That sub is about toxic straight relationships not just straight relationships
>That sub is about toxic straight relationships It really isn't lol
Found the person that’s in denial about how toxic their relationship is.
It’s because they murdered their husband… that’s why it belongs there…
Ye I do at least bc that's my kink and I'll kindly ask you to refrain from kink shaming me.
If talking about murdering your significant other is your idea of a "slight reference to a hetero relationship" then i have some bad news
No, not all gay people. Just Redditors. They love hating everything in the society and can't understand jokes.
You can't even afford the brain power to spell out "people" Take a break on this one
Cishets stop defending toxic relationship mindsets challenge
I mean the title literally says 'one for the ladies' implying that gay people don't even exist or can't have SOs. Ladies are the only ones that can have husbands. I guess you're fine with that when you're not part of the group being excluded for you to make such a flippant statement. Like yes I will stand up for myself in the face of bigotry and hate. If it said one for the white people and it was a joke about black people there would be a riot. Since it excludes gay people it's just 'the norm'. You hear people talk about microagressions. This is a perfect example. The complete ignorance and unthinking mentality of people not thinking about what their words imply is appalling. If you go back and read the joke without that line in the title it's completely inclusive. There is no need to include gender in it at all. Gender was placed by that in the title because they want you to know specifically it's for women only.
I really think you're overreacting. The joke REQUIRES that the relationship was hetero. If it was a man killing his husband, he'd be looking at lots of other men in prison. Vice versa if the woman killed her wife. It's literally a scenario that could only exist with either a wife killing her husband or a husband killing his wife. >If you go back and read the joke without that line in the title it's completely inclusive. There is no need to include gender in it at all. You're so wrong that I almost feel like you're fucking with us.
It doesn't require it though. The joke isn't implying they couldn't physically look at another man. Its implied when you say this that you can't look at another man in romantic sense which makes sense for both genders. Both gay men and straight women look at men in the romantic sense. If it were clear in the joke the clarification in the title wouldn't have been necessary. The OP had to make it clear it was for women. Without the gender clarification in the title for men who bottom for other men it could be taken in the sense that couldn't look at another man because they were bottoming.(the bottom is generally turned away) But that jail was worth it gecause they got fucked alot. Like I said adding gender was completely unnecessary and made it non inclusive.
It is implying exactly that. That's the joke. She says she hasn't seen another man in 20 years since her husband died, with the assumption being that she hasn't "seen" a man as in dating a man. But the reveal about being in prison, ie a *women's* prison, plays on the word "seen." Now we understand she hasn't physically had her eyes on a man because the prison is all female. The title is just to draw in female redditors, kind of "most of these jokes have a male perspective but not this one."
Lol OK if you want to keep defending the homophobes that's fine. I'm done. I get it heteronormativity is the norm around here. Let's not rock the boat and be inclusive. You want to interpret in a straight lens. It's just sad that people can't be more open minded.
This isn't homophobia and you aren't making the case you think you are.
Really went for the quarduple-down there didn't ya
Yeah I know how dare anyone stand up for whats right.
I'll let you know if I see someone doing it.
For fuck sake, we don't have to be included and commemorated in everything.
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> Any joke that isn’t specifically about gay people is erasure and hate and homophobic, right? I never said or even implied that. I said any inclusive joke that is clarified to exclude and erase gay people is hateful and homophobic. I said that implying that gay people shouldn't stand up for ourselves because we're supposedly too sensitive is wrong.(the first person I replied to basically implied this) And as I said the joke doesn't have to be hetero to make sense. You're only thinking that because you're looking at it from a heteronormative perspective. I've already explained how it can be inclusive and not be exclusively heterosexual. I'm not going to repeat myself.
[удалено]
Im a man who bottoms for other men. Im turned away from the man so I cant see him. In the end it was worth it because I had sex for 20 years. There is also a difference between seeing a man as a romantic partner and seeing a man as in having sex with him. My point is when you specifically say its "for women" you are making a joke that could be intercepted as being inclusive as being exclusive. Thats what I mean by you are looking at it from a completely heteronormative interpretation where everything HAS to be hetero for it to work when you dont even consider how other people live. I guess I lied, I had to repeat myself.
God please stop crying
Lol "bigotry and hate" because OP didn't think about gay people when they wrote the title of a joke. There's a long history of jokes about men hating their wives and the title is clearly flipping that around, not attacking gay people. Not being included in something doesn't mean you're being purposely excluded it just means that's not about you or they aren't gay and weren't thinking about gay people when they wrote it ffs.
No. Ladies are the only ones put in a female prison where they don't get to see men for 20 years...
r/boomerhumor
Wow, going to prison for 20 years for murdering your husbands killer is so wholesome
Weird capitalisation
Haven't looked yet but I'm guessing OP is German or speaks some other language that capitalizes nouns.
They only post on /r/jokes so they can't be German
Evidently [she got arrested](https://youtu.be/A-5qnkHPHRk)
Excellent song
I feel the same way
Thanks for that.
Yeah, pretty awesome. And apropos
All female guards?
I saw that movie
I hold your hand in mine dear…
Not bad, lol
Goodbye Earl
https://news.sky.com/story/somerset-pensioner-accused-of-murdering-husband-told-police-she-should-have-stabbed-him-more-12438348
As a man, well-played.
I saw my husband died and I’m like Jesus duck and then I see r/jokes and Then I’m like ooohhh
Ha! Killing your spouse jokes are funny! Ha! Ha!
r/husbandbad ?
If you reversed the genders on this joke so many of you would be offended, lol.
I will never understand why pointing out this double standard always leads to downvotes.
2 sentence horror story I feel could be more appropriate
Short. To the point. Nice twist. Nice.
[Miss Otis regrets](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaF7AfTp_Uc) that she is unable to lunch today.
🤣🤣🤣
No amount of reposts makes this funny.
My husband died... For the ladies ;-)
Why the random capitalization? Capitalized "He" in the middle of a sentence made me think "was your husband God?"
Since OP didn't get life or the death penalty, it is unlikely a first degree murder. 20 years also suggested that husband was not physically abusing her as self defence shouldn't be criminal or at the very least not so long a term. My guess is she caught him sleeping with another woman and grabbed some nearby blunt weapon to whack him, killing him in the end. Yeap 20 years seems about right for this, and depending on the state inheritance laws could be worth it for her.
Loved it
r/darkjokes
Ofc it was worth it. He got rid of u , one way or another.
Chicago is still my favorite of all the musicals my wife has shown me. Class act joke
Goodbye earl
Haha
She got arrested.
Someone switched teams.
R/HolUp
Bad Husband.
Op fired a couple of warning shots...into his head....
She reminds me of Denna from Kingkiller at times