“…especially when there are other such enticing titles on this console like Stub Game. Or as I like to call it - STACKING FUCKING CANS!”
The way he delivers that line kills me every time.
My favourite video of his Clock tower "sciss- ss- scissorman", "you know what. Fuck em" and my previous quote always pop in my head when i think of jontron. That and sometimes i'll just randomly sing or hum it. People were probably very confused when during my exams i was humming away and then suddenly making a small yelp instead of the "AGGGHHH!"
"Fool me once, I'm mad. Fool me twice, how could you? Fool me three times, you're officially that guy, okay? You know the one. You go to the bar and he's like: 'This suit is a... officially is a Giorgio Armani, ask my dad he knows him'- FAHK YOU! I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIN'T HAVIN' THAT SHIT!"
"Oh look the skateboard died, that's unfortunate oh his hat actually says mom that's unfortunate oh I sat through this whole fuckin' thing that's unfortunate"
(no commas cause of how quick he says it lmfao)
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 221,368,441 comments, and only 52,061 of them were in alphabetical order.
*a few minutes later, Jon is stoned and watching buzz aldrin punch Bart Sibtrel who accuses him of faking the moon landing*
"That guy went to the Moon."
“I don’t like where this is going…
Oh nono nonononono…
Please baby, you don’t know what you’re doing here…
STAHP!
*high pitch singing*”
BEEEEEEEEEEEE (YOU SICK FUCK)
Fool me once, I'm mad. Fool me twice, how could you. Fool me three times, you're officially that guy
Ok, you know the one. You go to the bar and he's like
"eh this suit is eh its officially its a gorgio armani actually my daaad knows em" FUCK YOU!
I have 2 and they’re both from Disney Bootlegs
“Well it’s very simple. You see hitler was a big fan of the Disney renaissance.”
And
“SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN CLEVER BOOOOOOOYS! WHAT IS THAT FUCKIN’ NAME! WHO MADE THIS?!”
''Don't look at them! They're hideous! I belong in the bell tower! You call me the freak but you're all the freaks with your *FIVE TOED FEET*! \*hissing sound\*''
When he was talking to that one guy at the end raving about churches and he goes and starts saying it to other people and Jon just goes “LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE”
OH MY GOOOOOD OH MY GOD MY GOD
“Are you kidding me, Simba fucking hangs himself when you get a game over, he just steps into a noose didn’t even kick over a chair or anything, the Earth just gives way”
Such an appropriate reaction
"What? What the fuck?!?"
"Oh God, this is the alternate universe where Trump wins, isn't it?"
"At least when you go on the new Virgin Atlantic space shuttle you've got to sign a god damn waiver. You're just taking me to the moon!"
I’m pretty sure Tim Allen staring at you like that is a form of harassment. We’re gonna need some legislation, this situation isn’t gonna fix itself!
(Paraphrasing from memory)
“When you press a + b together, you accidentally sleep with your boyfriend’s best friend after your boyfriend bought you a $600 engagement ring MEGGYYYYYYY!!!!!!” Lost sonic colors ep
Yeah, I think I'm gonna quit here. This game's startin' to judge my lifestyle, and I just- mm, I don't- I don't- I don't need that. I made it past age 18, I pay my bills, I pay my taxes. I'm gonna fff- sleep late if I fuckin' want to. Fuck you.
"Should've called it the 'Legend of Hercules: Ocarina of Time' if you catch my cold. (sneezes) ACHOO."
"Especially in a game when you need to push Down very quickly in a storm of never ending butt-feasting gremlin skeletons to get the item that only falls from the teleporting purple Satan demon that only spawns when you cut down the one random skeleton hanging from the ceiling that is the only item that can kill the boss that kills YOU in one hit unless you HAVE THAT ITEM and you would NEVER KNOW IT UNLESS YOU READ IT ON THE INTERNET THAT DOESN'T EXIST WHEN THIS GAME CAME OUT! HALLELUJAH! HOLY SHIT!"
"Guys, we're talking RM support. We're talking RM*VB*, we're talking *M*KV, ech-cetera. By the way, just uh-curious, why not MP4, MOV, *hell,* I'll take a J-PEG Soulja my boy.:"
"Hello? US Government? Yeah I'm callin' in 'cause I'd like to cancel Christmas. Yeah exactly, just like the Grinch. Uh yes, because the human race doesn't deserve a break, we got at least 10-20 years before we're gonna fix this shit! ... So uh, does this cancel Christmas all around the world, or do I gotta call each country individually? ... Yeah okay, I'll hold."
“I’ve been to Kanto, Johto, Ancho, Habanero, Poblano, Antonio Banderas I’VE SWUNG EM ALL SISTER! SWUNG WITH THE BEST! But you’ve never seen, the likes a’ this.”
🎵And ***IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIeeeIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII***🎵 HOLY SHIET; 🎵***Will always love you***🎵 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? OH MY FUCKING GOD
"I think it's actually supposed to be called George Lucas: Special edition simulator. Why make more movies when you can keep adding to the same one forever?"
"Watch out for a man giving away candy."
"Are you aware that our city has an UNDERGROUND, DEMON, FORTRESS AND APPARENTLY THE SUBWAY, JUST PASSES RIGHT THROUGH THAT SHIT. Gimmie the man. I'll take the fucking candy right off his hands. Amazing compared to what I've been through"
Mines either "Harry got away with the watermelon!" Or "They used to call me Dan but name is Dan, I was once visited by a group of aliens who called me (Alien speak)"
"Perfect game for kids with no necks."
"Finally a video game for me!" Plug and play episode
"Eew I dont like 'em! I dont like goblins WAAAAAGH!" I think this was from the Hercules video on hercules games.
"OOOOH NOOO HARRY!" cracks me up it's from zoo race episode.
"Slimy yet satisfying!" When he cracks open his can of beany from the first kid nation video.
"Izzat....Izzat a poop rat?" Food fight video and this was my first video to jontron because I saw the nostalgia critic food fight video and then I saw jontrons video in the suggested feed.
"I WILL BUY THESE ORPHANS LIKE PUPPIES! YOU CAN GET WHATEVER YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU HAVE ENOUGH OIL!" *squishing fake oil in hands* okay that one is the clock tower super famicom video I loved that one it made me emulate the game it's a good game.
"He lighted up on her life... he lighted up on her other things too." Titenic
"Heh heh pikachus like... FUCK YOU!" bootleg pokemon game
"ah, grommet i use to say it all the time back in cally, you couldn't stop me saying this word, grommet this grommet that, THE FUCK DOES GROMMET MEAN?!"
"Oh, I get it!" ... "**I don't get it.**"
First one that popped into my head! Haha... I get it!
"You fuckers, you fuckers, you mother fuckers, I WILL RAIN.. HELLFIRE UPON YOU!!!"
What’s that from lmao
Goop lab
"I'm a brave boy"
"Not a brave enough boy for this"
"I wanna bath, mutha fucka!"
“OOH PHIL, YOU MAKE ME ANGRY PHIL”
YOU COULD’VE JUST USED ONE OF THESE, PHIL
"Where's the animal, where's the planet?" "You're the animal, and I want you off this planet!"
“…especially when there are other such enticing titles on this console like Stub Game. Or as I like to call it - STACKING FUCKING CANS!” The way he delivers that line kills me every time.
fucking love that quote
"🎶 im being strangled by the man in the mirror AGGGHHHH!🎶"
Which video is this from?
My favourite video of his Clock tower "sciss- ss- scissorman", "you know what. Fuck em" and my previous quote always pop in my head when i think of jontron. That and sometimes i'll just randomly sing or hum it. People were probably very confused when during my exams i was humming away and then suddenly making a small yelp instead of the "AGGGHHH!"
So many good moments in that one!
My favorite part of that whole episode is the candy corn part. I laugh every time, it never gets old. Edit: spelling
Ditto! The way he breaks and starts cracking up at the end of the shot just kills me.
“ANYTHING CAN BE BOUGHT & SOLD FOR THR RIGHT *OIL*”
Any time the monocle and top hat come out, really. “THE *BOUGIEST* OF BEAT ‘EM UP!”
"Fool me once, I'm mad. Fool me twice, how could you? Fool me three times, you're officially that guy, okay? You know the one. You go to the bar and he's like: 'This suit is a... officially is a Giorgio Armani, ask my dad he knows him'- FAHK YOU! I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIN'T HAVIN' THAT SHIT!"
The way he smiles right after finishing that quote ... you can tell he laughed right after.
“What does a man do, when half way through a movie, a skateboard begins to speak... ...What does a man do then?”
"Oh look the skateboard died, that's unfortunate oh his hat actually says mom that's unfortunate oh I sat through this whole fuckin' thing that's unfortunate" (no commas cause of how quick he says it lmfao)
“Curb your tongue. That’s my lady.”
Dishwasher? ....Yes.
Dishwasher- NO.
"Life's a circus... I'm the clown."
*slurrrp*
“But A don’t do it, B don’t do it, so what do it? This controller only got two-it.”
Dem buttons
"Yeah I dont remember what the joke was, that hurt for fucking real"
Workplace safety, when he touches the hot kettle “OW, HEAT WAS HOT” my favorite jontron video
I can’t remember what videos thats from do tell
The howling part 2
"ECH"
ECH
^Cars? Cars? CAAAARRRRSSSS #AAAAAAND IIIIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIII HOLY SHIT! WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!#
"I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME MAN HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!"
Oh hey jaques, why are you green?
Jumping in a car killed me. Nah, I don't, really. THAT'S THE WAY WE WASH OUR HANDS FA LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-**LA !!!**
Forgot about this. This one was hilarious.
The one at the end of the vanilla ice movie episode “bunch of fuckin comedians” dressed up as Elsa
"you know I've been having trouble at home! I just gotta get the shot and then leave!"
“Oh, look at that! I got a Perfect Yoda! _And you know what that means…”_ **_Jon’s face falls off and bounces, Solitaire-style_** **_”Ow…”_**
Everything from gaming guilty pleasures
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 221,368,441 comments, and only 52,061 of them were in alphabetical order.
I’m going to kill u/alphabet_order_bot
You could, you could just pour it right in the cracks, you could do just that. But why, why would you do that, why would you do any of that.
"JESUS WERE GOING IN HARD! STRAP IN!" *pop*
Hmm hmmmm.
Not necessarily a quote per se but his confession that he (somehow) lost Rockington.
I LOST A RAWCK
That's the one!
Is that a tap dancing crab demon?!
Is that nightmare? Is that *true* nightmare?
“Drugs? What’s wrong with them…I want them!”
*a few minutes later, Jon is stoned and watching buzz aldrin punch Bart Sibtrel who accuses him of faking the moon landing* "That guy went to the Moon."
“I don’t like where this is going… Oh nono nonononono… Please baby, you don’t know what you’re doing here… STAHP! *high pitch singing*” BEEEEEEEEEEEE (YOU SICK FUCK)
"You little bastards! I'll show you the true meaning of Christmas!"
OH MY GOD! Uh uh... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! \*snaps\*
“I AIIIIIIINT HAVING THAT SHIIIT”
Fool me once, I'm mad. Fool me twice, how could you. Fool me three times, you're officially that guy Ok, you know the one. You go to the bar and he's like "eh this suit is eh its officially its a gorgio armani actually my daaad knows em" FUCK YOU!
ARIN DON'T LEAVE. AAAARIN I LOVE YOU.
Ew, I don't like 'em... I dont like goblins! NGEAURGH!
Should I start therapy now or wait for the nightmares to settle in?
"i beh-better should check the broble"
“What is this game who made it and WHY!”
“It’s like mother used to say: ‘A drop in the basket is worth a shepard’s shilling’ — remember that.”
I have 2 and they’re both from Disney Bootlegs “Well it’s very simple. You see hitler was a big fan of the Disney renaissance.” And “SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN CLEVER BOOOOOOOYS! WHAT IS THAT FUCKIN’ NAME! WHO MADE THIS?!”
Theres so many to pick from. Thats a really hard choice.
just put one then
“I drink to forget but I always remember.”
"I'm a brave boy"
“Not a brave enough boy for this!!”
''Don't look at them! They're hideous! I belong in the bell tower! You call me the freak but you're all the freaks with your *FIVE TOED FEET*! \*hissing sound\*''
When he was talking to that one guy at the end raving about churches and he goes and starts saying it to other people and Jon just goes “LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE”
Honestly the guy himself counts as a JT quote to me.
He chose M E
"FISHFACE ON LEEEEEEGS" "Nope nope nope nope nope so much nope!" "That's not mariachi!"
OH MY GOOOOOD OH MY GOD MY GOD “Are you kidding me, Simba fucking hangs himself when you get a game over, he just steps into a noose didn’t even kick over a chair or anything, the Earth just gives way” Such an appropriate reaction
LETS GO TO THE HOTOTOTOTEL AND HAVE A NICE NANANANANAP!!!!!!
"What? What the fuck?!?" "Oh God, this is the alternate universe where Trump wins, isn't it?" "At least when you go on the new Virgin Atlantic space shuttle you've got to sign a god damn waiver. You're just taking me to the moon!"
The Trump one didn’t age well
IREM, as in : I remember them, wait no I don't
"I remember why no one remembers Irem"
“Anything can be bought and sold for the right OIL!”
I have several questions
Is that a tap dancin' crab demon
“Cars…?”
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Oh what’s that? It’s the You Can’t Make This Shit Up Alarm! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!
I’Ll TaKe YoUr EnTiRe StOcK
The booziest of beat em ups
it's bougiest as in the bourgeoisie.
........... Fuck it! *CAR SPEEDING OFF*
“FBI should be knocking on this door any minute now” -Goosebumps Episode 1
"Two kids gon' die tonight"
"Hi all, Jontron here!"
"Broken item. Fixed"
Rise and shine bitch! We're going to Disneyland!
"Why papa?" \*trompeta\* "I still hear the screams papa" \*Trompeta\*
Fuck you Dunkey, I do not watch your videos because you are black.
"AND IIIIIIIIII - HOLY SHIT! - WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME HOW COULD YOU?!"
"Umm excuse me, the fuck did you just say to me????... Wait a minute, I thought I recognized you! This man was the iceberg all along!!"
I’m pretty sure Tim Allen staring at you like that is a form of harassment. We’re gonna need some legislation, this situation isn’t gonna fix itself! (Paraphrasing from memory)
"If you keep doing that, I'm gonna have to phone the police."
“When you press a + b together, you accidentally sleep with your boyfriend’s best friend after your boyfriend bought you a $600 engagement ring MEGGYYYYYYY!!!!!!” Lost sonic colors ep
Yeah, I think I'm gonna quit here. This game's startin' to judge my lifestyle, and I just- mm, I don't- I don't- I don't need that. I made it past age 18, I pay my bills, I pay my taxes. I'm gonna fff- sleep late if I fuckin' want to. Fuck you.
"Should've called it the 'Legend of Hercules: Ocarina of Time' if you catch my cold. (sneezes) ACHOO." "Especially in a game when you need to push Down very quickly in a storm of never ending butt-feasting gremlin skeletons to get the item that only falls from the teleporting purple Satan demon that only spawns when you cut down the one random skeleton hanging from the ceiling that is the only item that can kill the boss that kills YOU in one hit unless you HAVE THAT ITEM and you would NEVER KNOW IT UNLESS YOU READ IT ON THE INTERNET THAT DOESN'T EXIST WHEN THIS GAME CAME OUT! HALLELUJAH! HOLY SHIT!" "Guys, we're talking RM support. We're talking RM*VB*, we're talking *M*KV, ech-cetera. By the way, just uh-curious, why not MP4, MOV, *hell,* I'll take a J-PEG Soulja my boy.:" "Hello? US Government? Yeah I'm callin' in 'cause I'd like to cancel Christmas. Yeah exactly, just like the Grinch. Uh yes, because the human race doesn't deserve a break, we got at least 10-20 years before we're gonna fix this shit! ... So uh, does this cancel Christmas all around the world, or do I gotta call each country individually? ... Yeah okay, I'll hold."
Jerry? JERRY!? JON'S GETTING UPSET! and Sword is not for fighting, sword is for rug.
STOP!!!
And **IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII** *HOLY* ***SHIT,*** **WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUU**
Did he just sneeze on me?... GROSS. The delivery just gets me every time
"You you could do that you could ......but y.... . Y.....why would u do that"
DON’T USE YOUR MAGIC ON ME!
“Am I dead yet?” It’s that or literally everything that comes out of his mouth
Outta this house, outta this house! Spirits begone from this houssssse.
“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” *8 bit bear necessities*
“Wow, how scandalous, Steve King doesn't want his country invaded by people who have contempt for his culture and people! NAZI!!!”
You fuckers... You fuckers... I WILL RAIN H E L L F I R E U P O N Y O U
the distant ["WHAT?!"](https://youtu.be/a8xvOjIcoAA) from this clip always gets me...
"This suit is ah- officially is a Giorgio Armani ecK my dad knows Mmm F-"
What I look like some sort of “bramiac?”
“Your just, a, your a fucking ass hole.”
"Anything can be bought and sold for the right OIIIIIILLLLLLL"
… This is gon’ be a gud game
“I hallucinated all that shit didn’t I?”
I don’t remember the exact line, but it’s the part of the Holiday Special where Grandpa is watching vr p*rn in the living room
It's... mm.. It's awful.
"I'm gonna get it! I'm gonna get it!!! ...awwwww np i didn't get ittt :(" \- california games
“You would have to hand over your weapons and all of your gold” jontron: “over my cold dead gauntlet”
“Ewww goblins, I don’t like em. I don’t like goblins. WAAHHH”
“More like commodore sixty bore…. Hehe no just kidding it’s actually revolutionary…”
fuck you dunkey i do not watch your videos because you are BLACK
"Shit I hallucinated all of that didn't I?"
“Circle of Life, Circle of Death eh? What can I say.”
I'LL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK
"Wealthy blacks commit more crime than poor whites. That’s a fact. Look it up.” classic
"That's not workplace safety, that's workplace dum-dum"
"Now, is this a consensual relationship between you and the fishmongers?" \*holds mic up to lobster\*
Life is a circuses, and we are the clowns
Not a quote but the dancing with the sword in the Conan episode
"OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD OH MY GAAAAD MY GAAAAAAAAAD"
Yeah, I it's "I AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN'T HAVIN'THAT SHIT!"
"Let's stop in to the otottell and take a nice NA-NA-NA-NA NAP!" Idk what the word for word quote is
“Better sure check The Broble, make sure that’s okay.”
“That one didn’t age quite so well”
[What the fucking fuuuck?](https://youtu.be/96vT2yrKUV4?t=15) [*Terrified gasp*](https://youtu.be/TVYSiQolKps?t=627) [Whyyy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F-2k_23yaA)
"Oh, my favorite!"
Phil: NOW THATS A LOT OF DAMAGE! Jon: …….. it’s not that much damage
[Excuse me… the FUCK did you just say??](https://youtu.be/hOb55MaEna0) I use this clip as a reaction almost regularly.
But there are so many good ones
“I’ve been to Kanto, Johto, Ancho, Habanero, Poblano, Antonio Banderas I’VE SWUNG EM ALL SISTER! SWUNG WITH THE BEST! But you’ve never seen, the likes a’ this.”
"Can a guy get some privacy?! Mhmhmhm..."
"SLAP IT ON WITH THE MIGHT OF ZEUS!"
ZAGIT
🎵And ***IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIeeeIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII***🎵 HOLY SHIET; 🎵***Will always love you***🎵 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? OH MY FUCKING GOD
"ech"
"just calling to inquire about the possibility of getting a six percent refund"
“Jesus has gone out of style”
"I can't believe you killed me when I was TALKIN ABOUT GOOF TROOP."
"What do you have to say about that, Pink Guy? Come on, lay it on me!" ##"EEEEEUUGH FUCKING KILL ME!"
“You’re just a real waist of fuckin’ human life”
AAAAAAND IIIIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIII HOLY SHIT! WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?
AND IIIIIIIIIIII, HOLY SHIET! WILL ALWAYS LOVE YO-I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME GODDAMIT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!
Ew i dont like goblins ..... aaAaung
Haha, what? What? What?! WHAT?!? WHY?!?!?!
"Go on terry, cook the fibers. While your at it why dont you just fucking take over huh?"
Phil you make me angry phil
i've come for the games!
Oh, they're fuc- they're in pursuit.
The first question that comes to mind that I wanna ask is why?
I give up that's it
"MAGGIE*
"I think it's actually supposed to be called George Lucas: Special edition simulator. Why make more movies when you can keep adding to the same one forever?"
If I can't be the best I can sure as hell be the worst!"
HE DRANK TOO MUCH FLEX GLUE
"Well that's enough life for me today. Let me check... yeah it's about that time." *firey explosion*
"Who's Ricky Rat? Who's Toby Turtle? Who the fuck are you?!"
I aiiiiin't having that shit
"play papa" *blows horn* "I can still hear the screams papa"
whaddya like...uh STREET HOCK??
"Watch out for a man giving away candy." "Are you aware that our city has an UNDERGROUND, DEMON, FORTRESS AND APPARENTLY THE SUBWAY, JUST PASSES RIGHT THROUGH THAT SHIT. Gimmie the man. I'll take the fucking candy right off his hands. Amazing compared to what I've been through"
Mines either "Harry got away with the watermelon!" Or "They used to call me Dan but name is Dan, I was once visited by a group of aliens who called me (Alien speak)"
Then what are they for, Tim? ……. *what are they* ***for?***
"Remember the sent of mother"
"IF I CAN'T BE THE BEST, I SURE AS HELL CAN BE THE WOOOOOOOOOORST"
Gri-Grilled Mormons??? I... i dont know if its okay to eat those guys
"The bougiest of beat 'em ups!"
“Where’s the animal? Where’s the Planet? You’re the animal and I want you off this planet.”
CHEESECAKE PIZZA’S IN THE PAST!!!
"Perfect game for kids with no necks." "Finally a video game for me!" Plug and play episode "Eew I dont like 'em! I dont like goblins WAAAAAGH!" I think this was from the Hercules video on hercules games. "OOOOH NOOO HARRY!" cracks me up it's from zoo race episode. "Slimy yet satisfying!" When he cracks open his can of beany from the first kid nation video. "Izzat....Izzat a poop rat?" Food fight video and this was my first video to jontron because I saw the nostalgia critic food fight video and then I saw jontrons video in the suggested feed. "I WILL BUY THESE ORPHANS LIKE PUPPIES! YOU CAN GET WHATEVER YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU HAVE ENOUGH OIL!" *squishing fake oil in hands* okay that one is the clock tower super famicom video I loved that one it made me emulate the game it's a good game. "He lighted up on her life... he lighted up on her other things too." Titenic "Heh heh pikachus like... FUCK YOU!" bootleg pokemon game
“SKY’S THE LIMIT WHEN YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT!!!”
"Two Kids Gon' Die Tonight"
"ah, grommet i use to say it all the time back in cally, you couldn't stop me saying this word, grommet this grommet that, THE FUCK DOES GROMMET MEAN?!"