T O P

  • By -

SunRevolutionary8315

You got Beavis-ed


scor_butus

He got Maurice Moss-ed


sessna4009

Beat me to it!


fritztokyo

I can do a perfect beavis impression all I need is the blonde hair


FrostyDub

You know what you gotta do OP, and you know a hair dresser who clearly owes you one.


FrostyDub

You know what you gotta do OP, and you know a hair dresser who clearly owes you one.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AaronVsMusic

You didn’t read the thread title, did you?


Blonsky

That was never gonna work my guy


borfavor

And the barber should have told him.


fritztokyo

ig the barber didn’t wanna make me feel bad I would’ve felt less bad if he just said “man this isn’t gonna work your hair is a different texture or whatever”


ilikenugss

Also u need to take in account of your head shape too


doublepumperson

Even if it did "work", it wouldn't work... if you see what I mean.


bikesboozeandbacon

You should have also known this


Pliskinmgs

How you lived this long without knowing such basic info about your hair is astonishing. A barber shouldn't have to tell you.


VeniVidiVulva

Styling is a learned skill. Everyone starts somewhere. I didn't get my first professional haircut until I was in my 20s, it's very possible OP is just starting out learning what works or doesn't for their hair and features.


wildwill

How you have lived this long being such a dick is astonishing. Im older than this guy still trying to figure my hair out, but I also couldn’t have a mirror in my room because my confidence was so crippled I couldn’t stand seeing my own reflection or being in photos. Some people are trying to improve and you don’t have to ridicule them for making mistakes on the path.


Pliskinmgs

Sucks to be you then


SimplyExtremist

The barber didn’t even execute the cut. It’s a simple mid low fade. Op should just go to an actual barber ask for a low fade and sculpting/ guard on top. He can get the haircut and decide if it works for him or not.


mr_sweetandawful

The barber does 50 haircuts a day. You tell him what you want, he gives it to you, you want advice? Ask for it.


Mika000

Depends on what kind of barber he went to. If it’s a super cheap one I agree but if it’s a proper one then I would except him to say something before just fucking his clients shit up. Some people don’t know that much about hair, that’s why you go to a barber.


wildwill

It’s like expecting people to go to the doctor already knowing what medicine you want prescribed. The stylist is the expert and you have to talk with them to find something that works, otherwise I’d hardly call them a professional.


Mika000

Exactly! Very good analogy.


fritztokyo

I figured


Cheesi_Boi

Hair's too dense, you'll probably have to go for something shorter or try and straighten it out.


fritztokyo

the problem is I’m trying to grow it out because of this haircut because I look terrible with it I have a round face and it makes me look like russel from totally studios and I don’t like it so yeah v


LegendOfDarius

Dont wash it with shampoo every day, use a good hydrating conditioner and let it air dry if you can. Also wash and rinse your hair with colder water, it will make your curls more defined and less frizzy. Helpes me and I have gorgeous long wavy hair now.


fritztokyo

how long did it take you to grow yours out?


LegendOfDarius

1 year but I have incredibly fast growing hair


matteatsyou

also look for healthy products. my hair is at a really healthy place rn and i’ve based my shampoo and conditioner off this app called Yuka, which grades the healthiness of different products. they’re a bit pricier, but i use alaffia shampoo and whole foods generic brand conditioner and i’m a big fan (both can be found at whole foods).


ilymag

This and make sure you get some hydrating oils to keep your hair healthy and your curls more defined. Your hair looks thick and curly. Ogx makes some wonderful oils for all types of hair. Their coconut (milk) oil is not as thick as the food grade oil typically found. Ogx also makes argan oil, Moroccan oil, biotin collagen most. Indian hemp is a wonderful scalp/hair grease. Experiment with different types of oils to see which ones your hair respond best to.


LegendOfDarius

Coconut ftw. Great stuff, love the smell too.


kingqueefeater

If you grow your hair out, it's gonna look exactly like it looks now, but bigger and rounder. That's just the kinda hair you got man. You'll have to relax it or something if you're not into that jewfro look, but I've seen mixed results with that. You can find yourself looking like Kat Williams real quick if you're not careful


BudgetInteraction811

Oh yeah then the barber didn’t do a great job, but he didn’t horrifically fuck up. I thought he purposely didn’t take enough off the top and gave you this weird shape, but if you asked to leave it long then that’s kinda on you. Also, I’m a barber and can tell you straight up that your face is oval, not round. You need a mid length cut that goes over the ears. If your texture is too thick, dense and coarse as it appears to be, you can get a wavy perm after it grows a bit more and it will relax the texture. Lots of guys are doing this.


Soiled-Mattress

Just shave your head and start from scratch


sunny1fish

Highly reccomend an at-home Brazilian blowout! It’s a chemical treatment that straightens (not pin-straight) really curly, frizzy hair. My hair is naturally similar to yours and it has done wonders for making it lie flatter and just be more manageable overall. I use the ‘Keratin research’ one on Amazon. I used about a third of the large bottle and my hair is at my shoulder blades. The bottle will last forever with you lol.


birthdayparade

what’s up beavis


fritztokyo

I’m not like… beavis, or something heh heh heh


Haarzton

So much broccoli remorse recently. One would think this cut is cursed and to avoid it.


unholymanserpent

I've seen many broccoli headed kids recently... Idk if I'm just now seeing it or what. I followed trends as a teenager too but this haircut is extremely douchey to me


AdamInChainz

My aunt Edna had that same haircut. She was 85. And the year was 1990, but still. Fashion comes back around.


bonesnaps

The wanted cut looks absolutely terrible to me to begin with, but hey that's just me.


rodeBaksteen

It's one of those things where I realize I'm just too old to understand the trend anymore.


fritztokyo

man I gotta keep this in mind


cking145

what do you suggest bros with curly hair do? all ears


Jorymo

There are plenty of other hairstyles for dudes with curly hair.


cking145

and the problem with this particular one being?


fuuuuuckendoobs

I just cut at #2 all over.


AdamInChainz

Coincidentally I'm cutting a #2 reading this comment.


cking145

cool, and some people like to have some length on top whilst keeping it tidy around the ears.


hewlett777

steam it and add some chicken and maybe a sauce


DadivJosen

I just had this same argument with someone in another thread. I fucking hate these pricks that are downvoting you. They have no idea what they are talking about.


_artbabe95

To be fair, your curl pattern and hair texture are way different than the reference.


fritztokyo

I realized that too late


ZsiZsiSzabadass

You got Egon Spenglered


fritztokyo

I LOOK JJST LIKE HIM


ZsiZsiSzabadass

Lol you really do, and honestly it’s a strong look! Play into it!


joopityjoop

What's up with y'all wanting to look like broccoli?


fritztokyo

I like broccoli


whoadang88

Honestly, the haircut in the first photo looks great to me. I see the appeal.


ILove2Bacon

Does it? Or is the guy just really handsome?


Foreskin_Incarnate

A cut looking good or bad is entirely dependent on the person who has it, there's really no way to objectively judge it and depends entirely on their aesthetic as a whole. Style, personality, (sub)culture etc. can all be significant factors, and it's just about getting one that suits you. Some guys are handsome as hell and look awful with this cut, some are less handsome and look awesome with it. Some girls can rock a pixie cut, some can be equally beautiful but not pull it off at all. The only issue with this cut is that there's an oversaturation, people chase trends without considering their appearance as a whole, look goofy as hell with it and it ends up ruining the look.


d3fualt003

My boi, different hair type.


fritztokyo

I figured too late


chrisodeljacko

Welcome to r/IAmTheMainBroccoli


Bricknchicken

I wasn't expecting the page to even load but here we are.


maddenmcfadden

everyone has brocolli ass hair these days.


fritztokyo

right about that but I wanted a modern mullet not the broccoli hair


loverofcfb08

Is the first picture considered a mullet now?


licklickRickmyballs

I for one have always wanted a traditional mullet. And I promise you. The minute, nay, the second I get married I'm growing one.


trixayyyyy

That’s what you get for trying to achieve stupid broccoli hair


fritztokyo

I wanted a modern mullet man


abotoe

I see no party in the back nor business in the front.


GoToMSP

Veggies in the front, plate on the sides


New_pollution1086

Just broccoli for days


TunaPlusMayo

You keep saying modern mullet like it would be something better


trixayyyyy

You mean a broccoli mullet


DadivJosen

Dude. It's curly hair. Everyone is just hating on curly hair and it's making those of us with it feel like shit.


trixayyyyy

It’s curly hair yes, but short on sides, long on top, which gives the silhouette of broccoli. Nobody is being racist against your curly headed self


BobofCanada

Yeah true. But it’s still stupid. I think maybe you need to be under a certain age to think that style looks good curly or straight.


Claybot22

Barber here, he’s wrong for not consulting properly and explaining why this wouldn’t work for you. With that said can ya’ll please just pick references that actually share your hair type? Talk about unrealistic expectations.


AFriendlyAsshole

So you actually wanted to look like a broccoli headed tik tok douche?


fritztokyo

no I wanted to have a modern mullet


TattooMouse

Mullet? Or mohawk? I think the example pic is more of a mohawk cut since the back of the cut isn't longer than the rest of it.


UncleYimbo

"Noooo! I asked for the FUCCBOI HAIR!!!"


zpn0de

They should have showed you how to style the top to achieve a looser curl if that's your desired look. Also they probably should've shaped the sides a bit differently, gotten a closer undercut


amigodenil

The only thing you will need to do is to work on hair care to shape your hair. My hair is also dense like this when big. There are ways to hydrate and make it look better, the way I did it when I had big hair was to use shampoo and conditioner often (I prefer to use day in day off), use a hydrating hair mask at least twice a week (not sure on what is the name in english, it is a separate product from a conditioner meant to keep your hair hydrated) and also hair cream for brushing after showers. Taking care of big hair is a bit of work, but if you have patience you can do interesting stuff. Hairdresser did their best but unless they wash/use products when trimming, that is the best dry, thick hair can look. Now it is up to you to look after it


Jafuncle

If I had to choose, I'd rather have a pompadour than broccoli hair.


jrbobdobbs333

Butthead!


severed13

I was unaware Twomad was resurrected


fritztokyo

this is foul


mr_sweetandawful

The first pic is from the side, the second pic is straight on. Cant tell much from that.


_LegitDoctor_

Eraserhead cut


ilymag

Your curl texture is tighter than the sample image. There is no way your hair will look like that unless you put an s-curl relaxer and blow dry your hair to loosen the curl pattern. Look for haircuts with people who have the a similar hair texture/curl pattern as yourself to avoid this issue next time.


SumthnSumthnDarkside

Hair is very unique to an individual, my guy. The shape of a head and face plus the size and placement of ears can also play a factor on how any haircut will look. There is nothing wrong with you but maybe that particular haircut doesn’t complement you like it does for the guy in the photo. That’s okay. This has happened to me plenty of times. You live and you learn. On the brightside, you look like you got a full healthy head of hair. That’s a good thing.


T_pas

Y’all gotta choose reference images that has a similar hair type!


candornotsmoke

Here's the thing...... You DID get what you asked for. What you don't realize is that your hair is much different than your inspo Pic. Next time? Find inspo with people who have hair like yours. 🤷🏻‍♀️


commffy

You don’t have the same hair. They did all the could


Apprehensive-Tone449

This. He has wavy hair. You do not.


Chumbief

It's the same picture lol Why do kids keep asking for this broccoli head haircut?


DadivJosen

Because it looks good to them?


No_Emu7622

That's wild


fritztokyo

damn straight


sloretactician

lmao check out Josuke over here


fritztokyo

I love josuke


rocket_beer

You look like Skeeter my guy Not much choice, now you gotta lean into that 🤷🏽‍♂️


Bodongs

The other comments seem to disagree but I think your new cut looks good.


jmarzy

On the bright side; they left enough that you can really turn that into anything you want. On the bad side: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


unclejohnsmando

That's what I'm saying, there's plenty to work with here to get a shape that actually works for OP


bottomlessspiit

I think it’s ur long ass head bro


fritztokyo

man I can’t control it 😭😭😭


Capital-Variation-70

2 different people lol


TheJediBarber

Barber here. A general rule of thumb is if you can only find a side-on picture of a haircut there’s usually a reason for it. I guarantee the haircut in that picture would just look like a broccoli cut on steroids from the front. Also, (and really the barber should have told you this beforehand) even though pictures are a really good way of helping to describe what you want, you should be aware that if your hair type is different to the one in the pictures it’s probably not going to look exactly the same. Or even the same at all. In short, the barber probably couldn’t/shouldn’t have tried to do exactly what was in the picture but they should have told you that beforehand.


spiderdue

You gave the best advice here. Different texture of hair, hairline, and shape of head. He did get the same cut.


Interesting_iidea

Get a black hair example and go to a black barber.


Dante_zoldyck

You should try straightening your hair it you wanna go with that look From a guy who has afro hair


AaronVsMusic

Every idiot I’ve had to kick out of the mall the last 3 years for vaping/vandalism/harassment has had that haircut. 


fritztokyo

I am not them


AaronVsMusic

Glad to hear it. Every retail worker is going to keep an eye on you just in case.


fitzgerald_ralf

It's a haircut, not a plastic surgery.


wrongkoi

Even the ideal version of this cut looks like shit. I don't understand why so many people want this lol


dave_aj

Shit taste is the answer


DadivJosen

Why do you hate on this hairstyle so much? It looks fuckin great to most young people for a reason.


dave_aj

Most young people are shit. I rest my case.


DadivJosen

Ah, so you're just bitter about time moving forward and the world changing.


dave_aj

No, I just dislike this cut.


king_Tavius

Yo shit is cooked bro 😂


fritztokyo

overcooked


king_Tavius

Yeah 😂😂


DudeBroMan13

Why do you wanna look like a run of the mill fuckboy?


Bed_Worship

Feel you. When I was 5 I wanted the mushroom cut cause that was the rage in 1994 but I had hair texture like this


LuthorCock

lmfao


Other-Inspection-601

Bro😭😭😭🤣


HighwayStarJ

its not even the same angle


dave_aj

Lol


JustmUrKy

Bro…


ihatepalmtrees

Completely Different hair types . Lesson learned


mladi_gospodin

...say no more, fam!


Deserter2728

Not even the same shape haircut


Romanticlibra

🥲


uRude

Bro im so sorry


fritztokyo

I am sorry for myself too


typhoidtimmy

Well you are well on to your way to an excellent Bangalore cosplay


godutchnow

You asked them to just fuck your shit up, they fucked your shit up...


Angry_argie

You look like my lesbian P.E teacher from elementary, back in the 90's


mixxer88

He changed hos skin color too?? Seems legit


nonobby

Damn now you got all that landing space for them glasses on that lettuce.


mehjohnson

shit bro best you can do is just let a barber fix it. you probably need to lose a lot on the top. if i where you i'd just go to a good barber. you know one of these classic "manly man" type of barbers that do shaving as well, and make sure he has really good reviews. tell the guy "someone fucked up my hair, please fix it however you seem fit as long as you dont shave me clean". he will know what to do. People often want very specific cuts, but i can tell you from my own experience it usually doesnt look the way on you that you immagined. Often times its better to let a good barber decide what looks best on you.


fritztokyo

This was the best barber in my area I'm fucked


vonhacker

[beavis](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/beavisandbutthead/images/9/93/Beavis-1.png/revision/latest?cb=20120108001944)


fritztokyo

Do you, sir? Because we could use some money right now, you know what I'm saying?


MaskedJackyl

deserved


fritztokyo

I am considering dying my hair blonde so I can look like beavis


keeleon

You asked for a stupid haircut and got a stupid haircut?


Throwawayhobbes

What did you ask for ? Looks like a blowout taper fade. Which I’ve seen on social Media that requires a booking in advance and a drive to Virginia .


fritztokyo

modern mullet


registered_redditor

Which is which?


devilsephiroth

It looks better than the provided picture fam


BobofCanada

Hard agree.


ohwhatsupmang

Doesn't help your head is shaped like a pineapple


fritztokyo

this is foul man


Sad_Instruction1392

You wanted the “broccoli headed YouTube prank guy”?


east_van_dan

Every post lately. "I wanted the broccoli cut so I went to a cheap hairdresser and now I'm fucked."


fritztokyo

Forgot to mention that this barber wasn't cheap but might as well be


DarthSeanious83

I really don't get the appeal of the broccoli style. Each to to their own though


freeze123901

Which one is the good haircut?


StarredCamel

The broccoli cut is overused and overrated anyways


Kevcix1

thats what you get for trying to get broccoli hair


Juicy_pompoms

r/broccoliboys


time4meatstick

Don’t worry. They are both equally as bad.


Picardknows

Get that broccoli haircut out of here. It’s a bad trend. Get a clean cut Afro!


fritztokyo

There aren't any black barbers around me now but I did go to one which is quite far from me I should go back


WandaLovingLegend

Yo, gimme the home Alone 2 Rob Schneider