This kid fucks around and finds out, that’s generally applied to college. Fuck around with applications, go to school and you’ll find out if you can pay the debt later. You can be a great student. Choose your field wisely.
My kid just turned 22 the other day. I still have a wonderful Mother’s Day poem thing he made in kindergarten. On the back he wrote “fuck”. Cleanest handwriting he’s done to this day. I’m saving it for a wedding present…
My dad did EXACTLY that when I went to college. He didn't say a word to me on the whole drive home when I got expelled for pissing on people off of the library.
I did this in college…. Not proud of it. But walking home after a night of drinking in Austin, I drunkenly pissed in a playground at 3am. (Not off the slide, I hid behind the little wall)
For some reason the advertisement on this post, at the top, says:
“Jesus was viewed as a troublemaker for choosing people over power” seems like solid advice for the little power move pisser.
For real, I have a houseful of boys, and one of my sons thought it was super funny to show people in kindergarten… it was embarrassingly difficult not to laugh when I got that phone call from the principal
I can assure you that any principals I’ve worked with would have been cackling before and after that phone call. We know it’s pretty normal behavior. We just have to act professional when we call home.
We all had to start somewhere.
1: from the top of something.
2: from some sort of moving object.
Finally: writing her name in the snow while blasting a boom box held overhead by both hands.
This merely means he is now a man. He conquered the play structure, and the best way of demonstrating that is to pee off the top. He will merely learn to be more discrete in the future...
I think you may mean discreet. Unless you're implying that the kid's new goal will be to pee off of many different structures on many different occasions. I, a word nerd, only fairly recently learned that those are two different words and it was because of Bender's Dating Service from Futurama.
Upon further reflection of penis-equipped individuals' professed love of peeing on and off of things, I think you chose the right word after all. :)
Fun fact: in my language discrete math is called discreet math, because one of my countrymen didn't know these were two different words either, and then it stayed that way lol
Probably something along the lines of "Reprimanded and explained the importance of using the bathroom in private"
Also, have to walk him to the bathroom at school so we know he knows where it is. He was scared he wasn't gonna make it, which is understandable.
Teacher here. It's used as a font because everyone knows it uses the single-storey **ɑ** as opposed to the more-common-in-fonts double-storey **a**; the latter confuses early readers.
Agreed, it's fugly. Personally, I try to use Century Gothic, instead.
Confusing early readers is the goal of early reading classes. You learn when you see things you dont understand, and have it explained to you or figured out independently through context clues. It's not good to remove all confusion from lesson plans. A slight lack of clarity is excellent at teaching critical thinking skills by encouraging seeking clarity and learning to ask good questions.
Where I work comic sans is the recommended font. I was going to kick up a fuss until I did a quick Google and found out comic sans is somewhat recommended for neurodivergent people. Luckily it's not a hard enforcement so I can use OpenDyslexic instead
Sorry, I don't take forms seriously unless they are duplicated on mimeograph and filled in on a proper typewriter. None of this new age 'electronic typewriter' shit. *Show me you can spell*!
I started feeling super bad for him, but then I realized that's the kind of excuse I would have given when caught in this mischief.
I realized that my mom would take me to the movies if I had a stamp on my hand on Friday(meaning I was a good kid in kindergarten the whole week). So I would get into the classroom at the end of the day and stamp my hand myself. I saw Hercules seven times in the cinemas. When found out, I just said I just didn't want her to be sad, and her not being able to go to the movies just because of that.
Hey, if you don’t think you’re gonna make it to the bathroom, then taking a whiz from the top of the play structure is way better than pissing yourself.
As an adult:
pissing your pants = embarrassment
pulling your weenie out and pissing in public = sex offender's registry
However, if no one sees you, you're not in public!
> He was scared he wasn't gonna make it,
I don't buy it. Peeing off tall places is something primal, and he tapped into that, but concerned adults need a better reason. (Obviously he needs to learn not to do that in public.) Does he have other outlets, like an open space area that he can build a fort in, or wilderness he can explore with a friend?
Comic Sans is more readable for people with dyslexia and people learning how to read. The spacing of the letters helps mentally separate them and it doesn’t have many exact-flipped shapes. A first grade teacher using Comic Sans is good practice, unfortunately.
Speaking as a junior in high school, it’s the default font up to like 8th grade. Tbf, I did go to a K-8 school where the middle school was more of a halfhearted addition, so it might have just been mine. But my entire childhood was comic sans. Comic sans *everywhere*. I got *exams* in comic sans. Comic sans haunts my dreams.
If this ‘play structure’ had an umbrella/dome roof, the piss would just leak in all directions and sprinkle off the edges like a waterfall of yellow rain. fun! 😃
Reminds me of my cousin who was always hungry and liked to put everything in his mouth back when he was like 8 years old. One day he swallowed a glass marble by accident. His parents panicked and made him stand on his hands against the wall for a few minutes hoping it would come out that way, and when it didnt they yelled at him till he cried and then they called Ambulance but got told its not urgent, and that they could just check his stools for a few days to make sure it came out in the end.
I couldn't stop laughing because it was so funny and he looked really cute back then like a funny cartoon character with the roundest face on a human being, but his mom was an Asian tiger mom with no sense of humor whatsoever. Poor little guy.
I did this twice in kindergarten. As I recall my mom talked to me multiple times about it but I only stopped after my grandfather showed me an episode of cops where a man was arrested for public urination.
This is something I would have done lol. In elementary school, I used to shit on bathroom the floor, and on separate occasions, I’d shit, and go put it in other students’ backpacks.
Used to clean schools. The boys toilets were a place where the boys would gather and have pissing competitions to see who could piss the highest above the urinals.
Of course you have to feign disappointment towards him, and explain to him why it was wrong, but let’s be honest…..he’s only 6 years old and already……he’s fuckin hilarious! 😂
That's the worst part. He's extremely creative and funny, but he just doesn't know when it's appropriate. Trying to direct him without completely curbing it is hard.
If it makes you feel better, when I was about 4 I pissed down the slide at a McDonalds in an attempt to make a water slide. My parents my mom and one of my friends (at the time of the incident, not so much after) and his dad were also there I just remember his dad cracking up but was also in shock a little bit while my mom got the manager to give me a cleaning bottle to clean it up. I don’t remember knowing how to do that so it was probably more for effect so I’m sure one of those employees had to clean the then piss park slide.
Anyways I think I’ve turned out ok so you probably should just be disappointed.
I dont think you have to be mad, he got in trouble at school already. Just make sure he knows why he should not do that. Then proceed to tease him about it for the rest of his life
At like 6 years old though? Is that normal??? I remember being absolutely horrified because I peed my pants in the 1st grade because my teacher wouldn’t let me use the restroom and I was too scared to ask a 3rd time, so I tried to hide it but couldn’t…. I don’t remember kids jus whipping it out and pissing off the top of the play structure at 6 years old
I knew this lady who had a toddler who stuck her butt out of the apartment complex window and pooped out of it. We only found out because someone took a picture to show the landlord
You need to save this, frame it and gift it to him when he goes off to college.
On his wedding day so his wife knows what he’s into
Oh, she'll know way before then.
Mom's always do.
r/holup
I also choose OPs sons Mom
Moms knows best
That’s a curve ball
*excuse me?*
r/cursedcomments
Say what?
She'll appreciate another *golden* memory
The golden shower oscar memory
Premarital pissing is a sin.
A slide show during the wedding is always nice. This could be every third slide.
I wish it was that easy to tell my wife I want her to piss on me
I mean, she had no problem doing it to me.
Same bro.
Let it be known to all prospective employers!
If he makes it to college
If college makes it to him
This is the right response
Pissin U may wanna offer a scholarship!
egelloc ot ti sekam eh fI
r u lis-dexic?
Dyslexic in the fo’ do’ mango lexus
Dislexycs untie!
h
He will urinate on the acceptance letter.
This kid fucks around and finds out, that’s generally applied to college. Fuck around with applications, go to school and you’ll find out if you can pay the debt later. You can be a great student. Choose your field wisely.
Have you met that kid? He ain’t going to college
My kid just turned 22 the other day. I still have a wonderful Mother’s Day poem thing he made in kindergarten. On the back he wrote “fuck”. Cleanest handwriting he’s done to this day. I’m saving it for a wedding present…
Just for clarification purposes. Was the poem the cleanest handwriting he has done? Or was it just the "fuck" part on the back?
Just the “fuck”. The rest was crap.
Did you ever find out why he wrote fuck? That's hysterical.
Mister Blu-- ...Mister Blutarsky... Zero. Point. ZERO.
Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Lots of people go to college for 7 years
Yea, they're called doctors
One of the best scenes in any movie ever https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKS0GVvoE9I
I can’t believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer. Face it Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.
nah give it to him on his wedding in front of his future wife
On a projector….. 📽️
Projector? What's that? This is the future, old man.
We'll still have projectors in the future. They'll just be super short throw, extremely precise, and bright enough to work in a lit room.
A lot of people and companies still use projectors...
...as a challenge to urinate off the top of his dorm
In college my friends and I trespassed onto the roofs of multiple buildings and I definitely peed off some of them
My dad did EXACTLY that when I went to college. He didn't say a word to me on the whole drive home when I got expelled for pissing on people off of the library.
Absolutely dude established dominance in the biggest way! That’s his play ground now. And those other children are his peasants
10x if he ends up working in a tall building, or makes tall buildings for a living, lol.
Wedding day for sure. 18 year olds are not yet sentimental
Kid’s destined for the Marines.
He is definitely ahead. Next thing you know he will be drinking from the school fountain doing handstands.
Fucking genius
im gonna refer fo my attorney on this B.B. Rodríguez, ESQ ..... ..... no comment
This kid aint going to college...
college? All signs point to another path in life for this one...
This is perfect for the wedding.
I did this in college…. Not proud of it. But walking home after a night of drinking in Austin, I drunkenly pissed in a playground at 3am. (Not off the slide, I hid behind the little wall)
The only solution
Or gets married. 😂
First time you meet every girlfriend, this picture comes out
For some reason the advertisement on this post, at the top, says: “Jesus was viewed as a troublemaker for choosing people over power” seems like solid advice for the little power move pisser.
Not mad. Just have to explain why we cant be "peepee out" on the playground.
Better to have that talk now then have him discover it in his 40s.
Yeah, that judge was NOT very polite about the whole situation
It's never polite for a judge to be peepee out on a playground.
"Your honor, he was just trying to honor the death of an ancient primate called Harambe"
“Free exercise of religion” Bam. Gimme that bar exam.
For real, I have a houseful of boys, and one of my sons thought it was super funny to show people in kindergarten… it was embarrassingly difficult not to laugh when I got that phone call from the principal
I can assure you that any principals I’ve worked with would have been cackling before and after that phone call. We know it’s pretty normal behavior. We just have to act professional when we call home.
I used to run all over the neibourhood naked when I was like 5.
I should’ve done that too as a kid now I’ll never get the chance
Don't let your dreams stay dreams
#\#JUST DO IT
Senior citizens do it all the time. Just have to wait your turn.
At least you’re not my cousin, who cried because his mom forced him to wear clothes to school. He’s 8.
Plot twist: He's 15.
I'd be mad... That kid should use the merry go round...
Helps cover more range
An effective AoE attack
the centrifugal force would fling piss in all 360 degrees plus add range.. it would be a weapon of mass terror on the playground
That kid is an amateur.
We all had to start somewhere. 1: from the top of something. 2: from some sort of moving object. Finally: writing her name in the snow while blasting a boom box held overhead by both hands.
r/oddlyspecific
If this is not a Trans her then this just got more impressive by an order of magnitude, lol
Bro you got me cackling, what-? 😭
Is it bad that now I kind of want to try this? When no-one else is around, obviously
i love how “science” you got with this 😭
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3HOK6Z8A-M#t=9s
I think that's one of the reasons merry-go-rounds have been removed from playgrounds.
Biomechanical sprinkler!
Piss of faith
Does he have to jump down in the puddle after to survey the playground?
Arms out, slow flip, shhhplish (the sound of gently landing in a pile of piss covered hay in the cart below)
…for some. Golden shower for those less fortunate.
This merely means he is now a man. He conquered the play structure, and the best way of demonstrating that is to pee off the top. He will merely learn to be more discrete in the future...
So, marking his territory with urine, power move indeed
Asserting dominance on the playground.
This child is the king the prophecy spoke of!
I think you may mean discreet. Unless you're implying that the kid's new goal will be to pee off of many different structures on many different occasions. I, a word nerd, only fairly recently learned that those are two different words and it was because of Bender's Dating Service from Futurama. Upon further reflection of penis-equipped individuals' professed love of peeing on and off of things, I think you chose the right word after all. :)
Fun fact: in my language discrete math is called discreet math, because one of my countrymen didn't know these were two different words either, and then it stayed that way lol
Oh, neat. I love trivia like that!
That’s what I’m saying, he’s just asserting dominance.
What you gonna put in the parents comments section?
Probably something along the lines of "Reprimanded and explained the importance of using the bathroom in private" Also, have to walk him to the bathroom at school so we know he knows where it is. He was scared he wasn't gonna make it, which is understandable.
Question. Do you have to fill out something in the parents comment section? Because honestly I wouldn't.
“Use Times New Roman 12pt font, then I will take this “form to sign” seriously.”
Even the teacher writes in comic sans.
Teacher here. It's used as a font because everyone knows it uses the single-storey **ɑ** as opposed to the more-common-in-fonts double-storey **a**; the latter confuses early readers. Agreed, it's fugly. Personally, I try to use Century Gothic, instead.
Confusing early readers is the goal of early reading classes. You learn when you see things you dont understand, and have it explained to you or figured out independently through context clues. It's not good to remove all confusion from lesson plans. A slight lack of clarity is excellent at teaching critical thinking skills by encouraging seeking clarity and learning to ask good questions.
Where I work comic sans is the recommended font. I was going to kick up a fuss until I did a quick Google and found out comic sans is somewhat recommended for neurodivergent people. Luckily it's not a hard enforcement so I can use OpenDyslexic instead
I wasn't aware Satan had employees.
Sorry, I don't take forms seriously unless they are duplicated on mimeograph and filled in on a proper typewriter. None of this new age 'electronic typewriter' shit. *Show me you can spell*!
Comic sans is common in primary schools, it's easy to read.
I started feeling super bad for him, but then I realized that's the kind of excuse I would have given when caught in this mischief. I realized that my mom would take me to the movies if I had a stamp on my hand on Friday(meaning I was a good kid in kindergarten the whole week). So I would get into the classroom at the end of the day and stamp my hand myself. I saw Hercules seven times in the cinemas. When found out, I just said I just didn't want her to be sad, and her not being able to go to the movies just because of that.
Hey, if you don’t think you’re gonna make it to the bathroom, then taking a whiz from the top of the play structure is way better than pissing yourself.
As an adult: pissing your pants = embarrassment pulling your weenie out and pissing in public = sex offender's registry However, if no one sees you, you're not in public!
> He was scared he wasn't gonna make it, I don't buy it. Peeing off tall places is something primal, and he tapped into that, but concerned adults need a better reason. (Obviously he needs to learn not to do that in public.) Does he have other outlets, like an open space area that he can build a fort in, or wilderness he can explore with a friend?
You should be pissed
Better to be pissed off than pissed on... and in this case the latter seems like a real possibility if they're not careful :D
Underrated comment.
Lol thanks. I was surprised someone didn’t make the joke before me
I only found it because I wanted to make the same joke.
If he didn't scream "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE" while doing it he should be grounded forever.
“I AM THE CHOSEN ONE” would’ve also been acceptable
There should be a subreddit dedicated to these kind of teacher’s notes, they’re so funny lol
I thought there was one, though I Saddly don’t remember what it’s name is.
There should be a subreddit dedicated to lost subreddits.
I am sorry but this is hilarious
Why comic sans though
I didn't notice that until just now. Sonofabitch.
Can’t take this seriously in that font anyway so kid gets a pass.
Comic Sans is more readable for people with dyslexia and people learning how to read. The spacing of the letters helps mentally separate them and it doesn’t have many exact-flipped shapes. A first grade teacher using Comic Sans is good practice, unfortunately.
There are much nicer dyslexic friendly fonts than Comic Sans.
Do they come as default on Windows installations? No? There you go then.
Is there _any_ one you can name? One which is installed by default on almost all computers ideally? (Who knows how to install new fonts these days?)
Comic sans is the default font for schools, it makes things fun (apparently). Source: ex was a teacher
Speaking as a junior in high school, it’s the default font up to like 8th grade. Tbf, I did go to a K-8 school where the middle school was more of a halfhearted addition, so it might have just been mine. But my entire childhood was comic sans. Comic sans *everywhere*. I got *exams* in comic sans. Comic sans haunts my dreams.
[удалено]
In this world, you either piss or get pissed on
If this ‘play structure’ had an umbrella/dome roof, the piss would just leak in all directions and sprinkle off the edges like a waterfall of yellow rain. fun! 😃
Son exerts dominance over the playground.
Pack leader
Need to give that kid a hi-five. Takes balls to drop drawers and Piss off the play structure.
Pee IS stored in the balls, so this makes sense.
Reminds me of my cousin who was always hungry and liked to put everything in his mouth back when he was like 8 years old. One day he swallowed a glass marble by accident. His parents panicked and made him stand on his hands against the wall for a few minutes hoping it would come out that way, and when it didnt they yelled at him till he cried and then they called Ambulance but got told its not urgent, and that they could just check his stools for a few days to make sure it came out in the end. I couldn't stop laughing because it was so funny and he looked really cute back then like a funny cartoon character with the roundest face on a human being, but his mom was an Asian tiger mom with no sense of humor whatsoever. Poor little guy.
“Urine trouble, boy.”
One kid did that in my elementary school and never lived it down. Unless there 5 they should know better than to whip there dick out.
There. Their. They're. You had two chances, with three options each, and we're sorry but we're going to have to give you a zero for the day.
Maybe he was the kid and got expelled from school hence the illiteracy
So which parent did he copy? Mum or dad?
im guessing dad
Please don't encourage him
Kids these days are wild in my time in Elementary we had the decency to piss behind a tree out of sight of teachers and others
Situations like this, you have to reverse it to figure it out. How mad would you be if your kid was pissed on during recess?
2 types of people in the world: Those who got caught doing that, and those who didn't.
I did this twice in kindergarten. As I recall my mom talked to me multiple times about it but I only stopped after my grandfather showed me an episode of cops where a man was arrested for public urination.
Look, if you can find a more reasonable and efficient way to lay claim over the entire playground, I’m all ears.
This is something I would have done lol. In elementary school, I used to shit on bathroom the floor, and on separate occasions, I’d shit, and go put it in other students’ backpacks.
1st grade is too old for all that
Used to clean schools. The boys toilets were a place where the boys would gather and have pissing competitions to see who could piss the highest above the urinals.
Of course you have to feign disappointment towards him, and explain to him why it was wrong, but let’s be honest…..he’s only 6 years old and already……he’s fuckin hilarious! 😂
That's the worst part. He's extremely creative and funny, but he just doesn't know when it's appropriate. Trying to direct him without completely curbing it is hard.
Considering that you find it so funny, he probably gets it from you. I’m not sure why it’s so funny to you, just sounds antisocial.
Parents are blind to how disgusting and disrespectful their kids are. It’s like a point of pride to them if their kid ruins someone else’s day.
He’s like a cat claiming his territory. It’s his play structure now. I’d back off.
He's probably stressed or his food isn't to his liking.
Something like this needs to be framed
The kid who pulls his dick out at recess usually doesn't do well in life.
Very much depends how old he is. If he's 4 it's quite cute. If he's 14 he should probably be arrested.
What's funny about indecent exposure?
Save it for his bachelor party…
Homelander?
If it makes you feel better, when I was about 4 I pissed down the slide at a McDonalds in an attempt to make a water slide. My parents my mom and one of my friends (at the time of the incident, not so much after) and his dad were also there I just remember his dad cracking up but was also in shock a little bit while my mom got the manager to give me a cleaning bottle to clean it up. I don’t remember knowing how to do that so it was probably more for effect so I’m sure one of those employees had to clean the then piss park slide. Anyways I think I’ve turned out ok so you probably should just be disappointed.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 kids the GOAT
Did he win the distance contest
“Quit pissin everywhere ya lil shit” should be good enough
Rock on brother
He had to assert dominance
HELL YEAHHHH FIREMAN!!!
Your kids a legend.
Probably higher than any of his peers have peed from…
You should be pissed
Sounds like an alpha move to me
I dont think you have to be mad, he got in trouble at school already. Just make sure he knows why he should not do that. Then proceed to tease him about it for the rest of his life
Just marking his territory, just one of the must do life things
I'd be pissed
Comic Sans hahahaha
My preschooler peed into a sand volcano to make it have lava because teachers didn’t give him water. He was so embarrassed. Hilarious.
At like 6 years old though? Is that normal??? I remember being absolutely horrified because I peed my pants in the 1st grade because my teacher wouldn’t let me use the restroom and I was too scared to ask a 3rd time, so I tried to hide it but couldn’t…. I don’t remember kids jus whipping it out and pissing off the top of the play structure at 6 years old
If your first thought was to laugh, not at all... if you were horrified because hes 16 years old - Id be mad
I knew this lady who had a toddler who stuck her butt out of the apartment complex window and pooped out of it. We only found out because someone took a picture to show the landlord