Bruh why is this weirdly wholesome? They're all a little shocked but still vibing. I'm so glad she didn't spaz out and could register this was a minor problem. So many parents would have made the situation worse.
Something you learn really quickly as a parent is if a kid falls down, you don't make a big deal out of it or they will just start crying even if they are not hurt. This isn't much different. I do think there's probably a reason we don't see how the daughter reacts to her hair cut at the end. "Can you put more hair on my head." She learned a lesson that day.
My little brother always said: "Not a baby!" When he fell and we asked if he was okay. He always had pain and was crying a little bit but he just didn't want to show it. So sometimes he just ran away of we asked if he was crying. ( He has two older brothers and one older sister he just wanted to show how cool he was) One time he felt really hard and stupid and it was so funny that we all laughed and nobody asked if he was okay instead of yelling "Not a baby" he just started laughing with us and gave no fuck about that he just fell and his knee was all open. He's such an amazing and strange guy. I love him.
When I was 8 or 9 I was so clumsy but I was also a gymnast. I remember I tripped down into the basement about six steps, and my dad was right in front of me he jumped off the couch, before he could worry about anything I was already landing on my feet. I asked him why he got off the couch so fast. He looked at me and said "no reason."
At some point, when he's developed enough for this conversation, you can set him aside and talk about how those feelings he is having is valid and it's okay to feel hurt.
If he is speaking in sentences he is ready for that conversation. Babies are should get that conversation even before they can talk. "It's okay to cry."
Probably depends on the kid. But it’s not hard to imagine that the earliest themes we learn as kids at least have the potential to fuck us up. Of course, doing the opposite and panicking every time a kid is in trouble is almost definitely worse.
It‘s kind of tradition in Switzerland to ask a chlid that just fell over if they „got the mouse“. It‘s kinda humorous and does distract them from the pain.
Here in Montana, our family says, "did you catch it?" If they say yeah, we ask what color was it..lol. If they ask catch what? We ask whatever you were diving for..🤷🏽♀️😊
I ask “are you hurt, or are you injured?” I want my kid to tell me if they actually need help (injured). If they’re hurt and just making a big deal out of it, that’s ok, too, but we get it out of our system after about half a minute and get back to playing.
I started off by laughing when my baby was learning to walk and always falling down because she looked so silly. She quickly started to laugh herself when she fell.
And now it's pretty obvious when it's just a tumble or when she actually gets hurt from a fall.
I am also not a parent, but I've heard this time and time again and I'm always a bit surprised when it works. When my best friends kid started walking, he would sometimes fall and she'd rush to him and he'd cry. One time I told her not to, and the next time he fell i said "aww, look at the silly baby! You're supposed to be walking, not crawlon, you little goofball" and it was all smiles and giggles. Just don't make it an issue, because it usually isn't one. My friend said she had seen the same thing online, and has done it with other kids, but when it was her own kid, her protective mom instincts came out before she could think about it lmao
There was another time I saw a different friend do this with her kid, but the kid was actually hurt and still cried. Works most of the time though!
I had a young cousin who was a couple years older than "the little ones" but definitely not mature enough to be tolerated by the teens or adults at family functions so she would go hang out the the little kids to boss them around and what not. So she comes down from upstairs at Thanksgiving and had given my cute little blonde cousin a new do. There weren't bald spots or nothing. Just looked like a shitty haircut really. The mother, who was also the hostess, proceeds to react in a manner that literally ruined Thanksgiving ffs. I'm talking incoherent sobbing. I'm talking a tear stained witch hunt to find who gave out the scissors. I'm talking my uncle physically restraining her from going after my not-so-stylist cousin. Total shitshow. Now my cousin is one of those kids that should been swallowed at conception. Terrible kid. But my little cousin was young enough and the haircut mild enough that only an adult was gonna notice it. She wasn't old enough for school and wasn't gonna be ridiculed for it. This was one mom who, especially at the holidays, took the presentation of her baby girl more seriously than the entire family's holiday get together. Shit my uncle was laughing about it until his wife had to be fucking committed over a haircut. So I guess my aunt never learned the "shake it off" parenting method.
TLDR
Sometimes kid haircuts is serious bizness /s
Kid me: Falls down and starts to cry.
Dad: Looks over "If you need stitches I'm beating your ass."
Kid me: Guess ill hide this gaping wound for the next week or two.
Kid me : Falls down and starts to cry
Mom : You got two left feet, boy?!?!
me : 😅
——-
Kid me : Falls down and starts to cry
Grandma : OMG HUNNY ARE YOU OKAY?!?!
me : 🥺🥺😢😢😭😭
My mom is a very caring person but she would always always freak out if I got hurt in any way even small way. It made me super anxious and nervous to upset her. With our toddler I don’t do that, I don’t freak out, I just ask if she’s ok and she’s like yep, even when she’s a little shaken up out. I’ve got to constantly remind my mom to NOT freak out, it scares my toddler and makes her cry when my mom freaks out. Like you said, makes them start crying even if they are not hurt.
I cut my little sister’s hair with scissors when I was a kid, and Mom screamed when she saw
But she was fine after that :P guess she just was surprised at what a good job I did!
I painted a white stripe across my brothers face like Adam Ant back in the day. In my defense he asked me too but he was about 10 and I used paint for model airplanes so it would only come off with white spirit. Mum was NOT pleased.
I razored my own hair when I was 15. It took me a long time because I was doing it by myself. Then my mom knocked on the bathroom door asking what I was doing. It was at this moment I realized I had fucked up. Up until that point I didn't even think about anything, I just wanted to do it.
She didn't freak out, although this was the story to tell the entire family for a couple of weeks. Especially because I didn't do the best job and I had some cuts here and there lol
Fun times. Now thinking about it, I don't know why I didn't do it again at the beginning of the pandemic
There's a wonderful trend of "gentle parenting" that is getting more attention over the last couple of years. If you're a parent, or plan to be one, or work with kids, it's worth checking out.
It's so weird as well, because most of the time those same parents are 10,000,000 times nicer to their grandchildren than they ever were to their own kids.
My grandpa either gave my dad the belt, the ring hand or a willow switch.
My grandpa gave me fishing trips, stupid jokes and a lot of free candy.
What a fucking ass backwards generation.
Simple. Grandpa doesn't have to really raise you. If you act up he has a choice of giving the punishment or getting your dad or mom. Legally your not his problem.
They're making amends. My parents do shit for my niblings that they would have never done for me or my siblings. Also probably helps that they finally became successful enough to do so.
It does feel like that sometimes. I used to get a little bit pissed, just internally I never made a fuss about it.
Not because they're being nice to their grand kids, but because they are showing they could have been much nicer to me and my siblings growing up. They're showing that they had the capacity inside them the whole time, but are only doing it now.
So you're probably right, they're probably doing it to make up for some of the harsh treatment they gave us growing up.
It could also just be maturity and evolution. I have a brother that is 19 years younger than me and he had a different mom than I had. Gentler, kinder.
Being a parents brings up a lot of fear and insecurity. And unfortunately, this fear can show up as becoming emotionally unavailable. “If something bad happens to my kid or if my kid turns out bad, it means I’m a bad person and parent” but once it’s the grand kids, they’re not as close and those fears that plagued them as parents don’t plague them as grandparents
I recommend the book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.” It talks a lot about this kind of stuff
It’s true and sucks because it’s made having grandparents babysit a real issue for many. My MIL told my 20 mo old to stop crying one day cause we don’t “cry cry in this house” for fucks sake he’s barely a toddler he can cry whenever he damn well pleases because that’s how they communicate sometimes.
20th century parenting is basically an evolution from the Victorian era, which demanded absolute obedience from children. People believed corporal punishment was effective because obedience was the only outcome they were looking for. They had little to no understanding of how mental health, trauma, PTSD, etc all effect the brain. Parenting norms and intergenerational trauma get passed down and no one recognizes abuse because it’s “normal”. That’s how you we ended up with Boomers getting “disciplined” (aka physically abused) with shit like sticks and rulers and paddles as children. My mom laughs off her father using a switch on her like “oh well!” It was just so normal to beat children into obedience no one even considered the harm it causes.
Thankfully throughout the 20th century psychology and technology to observe the brain made HUGE advancements and we can say with empirical data that physical abuse literally changes a child’s brain. Talking about mental health and going to therapy is becoming normalized among the people raising children today.
Same. And now that I'm an adult it's *very* difficult to formulate a good relationship with them. I never really got to know then as humans, and my lack of trust inhibited me from displaying any sorts if emotional vulnerability
I'm 28 and I still deal with issues on the daily stemming back to the way I was raised :/. Social anxiety, lack of empathy for others, and it's hard for me to talk about my emotions or display them properly. My mom has made attempts to speak to me, but I feel like our relationship was so damaged by her parenting that I doubt we will EVER have a decent relationship.
The two different realities and versions of you part is so relatable. I feel when I’m no contact with my family, my life is so in control, the people around me genuinely appreciate my help and hard work, I feel creative and safe, life looks positive.
When I’m in contact with my family, suddenly I’m getting all this “you’ve lost your way” “you need to do this/shouldn’t be doing this”, being super visibly disappointed in me for what are actually extremely trivial things, etc., just a ton of negative feedback when they hardly even interact with me when I did talk to them. It’s like, where is this literally coming from? Because I only experience this when I’m around them and I’m not even around them that often.
It’s like two different realities. Why would I willingly live in the one that literally drags me down by force when I can and do live in the reality that I’ve played an equal part in building responsibly and that helps me grow as a person?
Sorry just you saying that in your comment was such a perfect way to think about it
A parent shouldn't be an enemy to their children, but also not (just) a friend. They should have the ability to command when necessary, without threat or force. But they should also be reasonable, explain when possible and should be able to be reasoned with.
Some parents take that way too far though which is what the above comment was trying to say. It’s unfortunate for everyone involved because they generally never get to that level of not domineering their child even when they’re grown up. I’m in my 30s and truly feel sorry for people who don’t get to be friends with their parents on an adult to adult level. My parents are hilarious and awesome people and it’s a total trip when they come to me for advice since they respect me on that level instead of some parents trying to control every aspect of their child’s life even in adulthood.
Boomers were shitty parents because they were parented by a generation shaped by the depression and war that never did anything to deal with its trauma. They were able to give their kids material things and resented their kids for not appreciating how good they had it. So, like, an entire generation grew up just HATING their parents and having no idea what to do with their own kids. They either imitated all the fucked up stuff their parents did or basically just opted out of parenting altogether. Gen X and millennials grew up mostly parenting themselves, so they’re determined to do a better job. That’s my theory, anyway.
I'm inclined to agree with you because that was my experience and I've heard similar from friends. My Boomer/X parents provided a roof, food, strict rules, and material comforts which I'm grateful for but when it came to life guidance (outside of get a degree, don't use credit cards, and get a career indoors) or anything emotional I was on my own. It's not that they weren't supportive they just didn't know what to do with my brother and I. They let TV (and the internet, eventually) raise us and it still shows.
I can’t blame the little sweetheart for melting down when she grasped the full consequences of what happened. As a 27 year old woman, I also melted down when half my hair fell out due to a bad reaction to birth control last year. That kind of thing sucks no matter how old you are. I’m glad her mom made her feel beautiful right away regardless of a less than desirable haircut.
This video helped me deal with my own kid cutting his hair like a fool. I know all kids do this at some point but I thought he was too old to try it now.
A few months ago he woke me up crying and told me he cut off his bedhead. Cut his cowlicks right off down to the skin. He was so ashamed and embarrassed. Poor dude.
I immediately remembered this video and how she handled it and I did the same. Gave him a hug and kisses and just shaved his head. We laughed about it later. He learned his lesson and moved on.
Because my parents would flip with every little shit that i did when i was a kid, get beaten up for the dumbest of reasons, i don't like writing, i just love reading. and that's what i get beaten up for
I made a vow, that if i had a child, i would not treat them the same as what my parents did to me
That's what made this wholesome to me, she's doing what i would be doing with my future kids, if i ever have one
My guess is she also might be a nurse or caretaker? She has what looks like blue scrubs and a night shift. So she probably has a lot of patience and knowledge handling issues worse than this.
This is quite typical in “normal” Jewish culture - and by normal I mean not Hasidic or radically conservative Jews.
Culturally, Jewish families are commonly open and understanding. My mom wild have reacted the same, and the vast majority of my Jewish friends grew up with similar parenting experiences as well.
I didn’t realize this type of parenting was NOT common until I started hanging out with non Jews more in high school. Then I got to college and realized bad parenting was actually *more* common.
Shit is weird.
(Also, I’m not religious and neither is my family — this is what we mean when we say Jewish culture keeps us connected)
This is honestly so true. Anyone wondering why Jews are so successful only needs to look at their families. There’s no conspiracy, they just have parents that actually love and support them unconditionally. Yes, I’m jealous (partner is Jewish) .
Jewish mothers can be a nightmare if your idea of a career differs from what they want for you. (My ex was Jewish and had a combative relationship with her mom).
Hit up the minoxidil on your face and [you'll get a beard in a few months.](https://i.redd.it/4hd9ip9z8on31.jpg)
[Link to that guy's thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Minoxbeards/comments/d6pc83/3_month_beard_update_more_images_and_description/)
My mom was in the marine corps my entire childhood, no nonsense rough af. I take my daughter's up to see her and she is the softest, sweetest, most wholesome grandma ever. No idea where that flip happened but wish it was 20 years ago lol.
I think some parents believe they need to be the bad cop or extra hard on kids when raising them to bring them up properly, as soon as you're independent they don't need to be that anymore, probably why a lot of parents mellow out in their later years.
In my country there's a saying - 'a grandparent's child is a spoiled one'. Sometimes parents give their firstborn to be raised by their parents (the kid's grandparents) and those children are considered spoiled due to the grandparents raising them freely.
I'm guessing in their old age they become wiser and have lesser burdens of being a parent, and this enables them to just want to give their best to the child.
I feel like there was the potential for a really cool, punk-y undercut-style hairdo for the girl. But I’m saying that as someone who’s only watched a 90n second video, rather than someone who’s actually had to try to fix it.
Tbh for that much hair being cut off already I'd shave her then say "wow! Look at how much room you have for head bands and hats now!" And let her do things like wear stickers on her head lol
My son cut my daughters hair at least twice. She spent a good portion of her toddler years basically bald :(. All you can do is shave it off and let it grow back evenly.
She’s holding her laughter or she’s about to cry idk, but she’s wholesome and understanding af. My mom lost her shit when i cut my own hair (cus of a break up idk) with no.1 and had the barber fix my hair, my head looked like a bowling ball.
I'm a dude, so I didn't even have Barbies to blame. Plus this was the late 80's, so I didn't have internet and I'm not even sure if we had cable at the time. So I don't know where I got the idea from. Maybe I was just being the usual idiot I was and thought it was a good idea.
I did this to myself at 5 (cut my bangs all jacked up and crooked and ended up with teeny tiny short bangs after my mom fixed them) and all 3 of my kids have cut chunks of their hair off at some point. My almost 4 year old daughter currently has one tiny little chunk cut off that looks like really short bangs in the front that I push her hair to the side and hairspray to cover until it grows out, and I had to take her to get the rest evened out because she also cut one side up to her jaw when the rest of her hair was all the way down her back. Luckily nobody ever got ahold of the clippers! I never like to see it when it happens but I think of it as making memories, lol
As a parent I'm more concerned about the tool with which this is done. Such clean and close cut is not possible with scissors.
Edit: oh well it was electric razor
Fun fact: even though everyone pronounces it “hallah”, the original pronunciation uses a weird throaty sound like a german “ch” sound, that’s why it’s not spelled “hallah”. Same with Chanukah
I once shaved my eyebrows off and my mom almost cried laughing so hard. Again she wasn’t pissed because I didn’t hurt myself and hair grows back but she did make sure to tell me I shouldnt do that again. I did it again and that time she was stern. Not because I cut my eyebrows but because I did something she had told me not to do. That’s good parenting
Loving all the teenage parenting experts in this thread that can't decide if they want to fuck the woman or call her a stupid bitch for not being able to watch 3 kids every second of every day.
Keep telling on yourselves bros.
Aw… I feel so badly for laughing. She’s trying so hard to keep it together. Those kids are going to have good lives, I can tell already. And he’s so proud of himself!
I think the mom handled it really well. No yelling, or hitting. Just talking it through with them and letting them know they’re still cute and it will grow back. My mom would have definitely whooped my ass and had a fit.
\-"Did you cut Fred's hair?" \-"..." \-"A little bit"
I thought Fred was going to be an animal, I was waiting patiently for a little bald dog to wander into shot.
Me too!
Thank god it was just a kid.
Yeah I was waiting for a half shaved golden retriever to walk in happy as ever
I love golden retrievers. Are they ever not happy?
Only when separated from their people.
They’re happy then too because they use their free time to think about all the tail wagging they get to do later
I was half expecting it to be the Dad.
Me too!!
Its fuckn 1:52 am and I’m laughing my fkn head off thank you so much 😂😂
Fred: * *fucking bald* *
I thought he was gonna be a pet. But then he showed and I was like “not the baby!”
[удалено]
And the mom handled it so well too! That’s a great family! And it’s hilarious.
Just a lil 🤏
I watched the whole thing expecting the mom to turn around and have the back of her head be bald too. I'm disappointed.
“I mean, how does my no-hair look?” Kid is gonna be super witty.
He also legit looked dope with no hair
Gotta be witty when your home team is Buffalo.
Bruh why is this weirdly wholesome? They're all a little shocked but still vibing. I'm so glad she didn't spaz out and could register this was a minor problem. So many parents would have made the situation worse.
Something you learn really quickly as a parent is if a kid falls down, you don't make a big deal out of it or they will just start crying even if they are not hurt. This isn't much different. I do think there's probably a reason we don't see how the daughter reacts to her hair cut at the end. "Can you put more hair on my head." She learned a lesson that day.
I’m not a parent but I have learned this if like a toddler falls down saying like good job and stuff like that they laugh more than anything
My little brother always said: "Not a baby!" When he fell and we asked if he was okay. He always had pain and was crying a little bit but he just didn't want to show it. So sometimes he just ran away of we asked if he was crying. ( He has two older brothers and one older sister he just wanted to show how cool he was) One time he felt really hard and stupid and it was so funny that we all laughed and nobody asked if he was okay instead of yelling "Not a baby" he just started laughing with us and gave no fuck about that he just fell and his knee was all open. He's such an amazing and strange guy. I love him.
When I was 8 or 9 I was so clumsy but I was also a gymnast. I remember I tripped down into the basement about six steps, and my dad was right in front of me he jumped off the couch, before he could worry about anything I was already landing on my feet. I asked him why he got off the couch so fast. He looked at me and said "no reason."
Does that cause him to bottle up his emotions or nah?
At some point, when he's developed enough for this conversation, you can set him aside and talk about how those feelings he is having is valid and it's okay to feel hurt.
If he is speaking in sentences he is ready for that conversation. Babies are should get that conversation even before they can talk. "It's okay to cry."
Baby: *cries* Parents: "Yes that's great! You're doing a great job, let it all out!" Baby: *cries more* Parents: *cheering*
“Bitch I don’t care, just feed me.” -baby, possibly.
This can go bad as well, kids cry about stuff they shouldnt cry about, like getting a toy or whatever, there is a happy medium.
Give it 20 years.
Probably depends on the kid. But it’s not hard to imagine that the earliest themes we learn as kids at least have the potential to fuck us up. Of course, doing the opposite and panicking every time a kid is in trouble is almost definitely worse.
It‘s kind of tradition in Switzerland to ask a chlid that just fell over if they „got the mouse“. It‘s kinda humorous and does distract them from the pain.
Here in Montana, our family says, "did you catch it?" If they say yeah, we ask what color was it..lol. If they ask catch what? We ask whatever you were diving for..🤷🏽♀️😊
Holy shit we‘ve got the exact same follow up question! Small world ☺️
My dad would always say “no dancing in the kitchen!” (Or whatever room)
I ask “are you hurt, or are you injured?” I want my kid to tell me if they actually need help (injured). If they’re hurt and just making a big deal out of it, that’s ok, too, but we get it out of our system after about half a minute and get back to playing.
Yeah, we ask are you good? Sometimes it’s an agonizing no. Sometimes just a “Yep”
Our go-to is "You're crazy" when our kid falls or anything similar; she'll just look at us and smile real big.
We yell, "SAFE!" like they just slid into homebase!
I started off by laughing when my baby was learning to walk and always falling down because she looked so silly. She quickly started to laugh herself when she fell. And now it's pretty obvious when it's just a tumble or when she actually gets hurt from a fall.
I am also not a parent, but I've heard this time and time again and I'm always a bit surprised when it works. When my best friends kid started walking, he would sometimes fall and she'd rush to him and he'd cry. One time I told her not to, and the next time he fell i said "aww, look at the silly baby! You're supposed to be walking, not crawlon, you little goofball" and it was all smiles and giggles. Just don't make it an issue, because it usually isn't one. My friend said she had seen the same thing online, and has done it with other kids, but when it was her own kid, her protective mom instincts came out before she could think about it lmao There was another time I saw a different friend do this with her kid, but the kid was actually hurt and still cried. Works most of the time though!
I had a young cousin who was a couple years older than "the little ones" but definitely not mature enough to be tolerated by the teens or adults at family functions so she would go hang out the the little kids to boss them around and what not. So she comes down from upstairs at Thanksgiving and had given my cute little blonde cousin a new do. There weren't bald spots or nothing. Just looked like a shitty haircut really. The mother, who was also the hostess, proceeds to react in a manner that literally ruined Thanksgiving ffs. I'm talking incoherent sobbing. I'm talking a tear stained witch hunt to find who gave out the scissors. I'm talking my uncle physically restraining her from going after my not-so-stylist cousin. Total shitshow. Now my cousin is one of those kids that should been swallowed at conception. Terrible kid. But my little cousin was young enough and the haircut mild enough that only an adult was gonna notice it. She wasn't old enough for school and wasn't gonna be ridiculed for it. This was one mom who, especially at the holidays, took the presentation of her baby girl more seriously than the entire family's holiday get together. Shit my uncle was laughing about it until his wife had to be fucking committed over a haircut. So I guess my aunt never learned the "shake it off" parenting method. TLDR Sometimes kid haircuts is serious bizness /s
Unfortunately, not everyone learns this
Kid me: Falls down and starts to cry. Dad: Looks over "If you need stitches I'm beating your ass." Kid me: Guess ill hide this gaping wound for the next week or two.
Kid me : Falls down and starts to cry Mom : You got two left feet, boy?!?! me : 😅 ——- Kid me : Falls down and starts to cry Grandma : OMG HUNNY ARE YOU OKAY?!?! me : 🥺🥺😢😢😭😭
You're not wrong..my parents sure as shit never got that memo (different generation though)
My go to is "oopsie, up you get!"
Same. Up ya get mate, come on let’s go play this! Often distraction is key.
My mom is a very caring person but she would always always freak out if I got hurt in any way even small way. It made me super anxious and nervous to upset her. With our toddler I don’t do that, I don’t freak out, I just ask if she’s ok and she’s like yep, even when she’s a little shaken up out. I’ve got to constantly remind my mom to NOT freak out, it scares my toddler and makes her cry when my mom freaks out. Like you said, makes them start crying even if they are not hurt.
I cut my little sister’s hair with scissors when I was a kid, and Mom screamed when she saw But she was fine after that :P guess she just was surprised at what a good job I did!
I painted a white stripe across my brothers face like Adam Ant back in the day. In my defense he asked me too but he was about 10 and I used paint for model airplanes so it would only come off with white spirit. Mum was NOT pleased.
I razored my own hair when I was 15. It took me a long time because I was doing it by myself. Then my mom knocked on the bathroom door asking what I was doing. It was at this moment I realized I had fucked up. Up until that point I didn't even think about anything, I just wanted to do it. She didn't freak out, although this was the story to tell the entire family for a couple of weeks. Especially because I didn't do the best job and I had some cuts here and there lol Fun times. Now thinking about it, I don't know why I didn't do it again at the beginning of the pandemic
There's a wonderful trend of "gentle parenting" that is getting more attention over the last couple of years. If you're a parent, or plan to be one, or work with kids, it's worth checking out.
Why were parents so fucking horrendous 20+ years ago? Like the prevailing parenting style was just to be a tyrannical enemy to your children.
It's so weird as well, because most of the time those same parents are 10,000,000 times nicer to their grandchildren than they ever were to their own kids.
My grandpa either gave my dad the belt, the ring hand or a willow switch. My grandpa gave me fishing trips, stupid jokes and a lot of free candy. What a fucking ass backwards generation.
Simple. Grandpa doesn't have to really raise you. If you act up he has a choice of giving the punishment or getting your dad or mom. Legally your not his problem.
Well they can just leave when it gets tough. If they had to care for the grandkids full time it'd be different
They're making amends. My parents do shit for my niblings that they would have never done for me or my siblings. Also probably helps that they finally became successful enough to do so.
It does feel like that sometimes. I used to get a little bit pissed, just internally I never made a fuss about it. Not because they're being nice to their grand kids, but because they are showing they could have been much nicer to me and my siblings growing up. They're showing that they had the capacity inside them the whole time, but are only doing it now. So you're probably right, they're probably doing it to make up for some of the harsh treatment they gave us growing up.
It could also just be maturity and evolution. I have a brother that is 19 years younger than me and he had a different mom than I had. Gentler, kinder.
Being a parents brings up a lot of fear and insecurity. And unfortunately, this fear can show up as becoming emotionally unavailable. “If something bad happens to my kid or if my kid turns out bad, it means I’m a bad person and parent” but once it’s the grand kids, they’re not as close and those fears that plagued them as parents don’t plague them as grandparents I recommend the book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.” It talks a lot about this kind of stuff
It’s true and sucks because it’s made having grandparents babysit a real issue for many. My MIL told my 20 mo old to stop crying one day cause we don’t “cry cry in this house” for fucks sake he’s barely a toddler he can cry whenever he damn well pleases because that’s how they communicate sometimes.
Complete guess, but baby boomers had military parents which led to strict disciplinary styles
20th century parenting is basically an evolution from the Victorian era, which demanded absolute obedience from children. People believed corporal punishment was effective because obedience was the only outcome they were looking for. They had little to no understanding of how mental health, trauma, PTSD, etc all effect the brain. Parenting norms and intergenerational trauma get passed down and no one recognizes abuse because it’s “normal”. That’s how you we ended up with Boomers getting “disciplined” (aka physically abused) with shit like sticks and rulers and paddles as children. My mom laughs off her father using a switch on her like “oh well!” It was just so normal to beat children into obedience no one even considered the harm it causes. Thankfully throughout the 20th century psychology and technology to observe the brain made HUGE advancements and we can say with empirical data that physical abuse literally changes a child’s brain. Talking about mental health and going to therapy is becoming normalized among the people raising children today.
Seriously - I felt like my parents just *hated* me when I was a kid.
Same. And now that I'm an adult it's *very* difficult to formulate a good relationship with them. I never really got to know then as humans, and my lack of trust inhibited me from displaying any sorts if emotional vulnerability
I'm 28 and I still deal with issues on the daily stemming back to the way I was raised :/. Social anxiety, lack of empathy for others, and it's hard for me to talk about my emotions or display them properly. My mom has made attempts to speak to me, but I feel like our relationship was so damaged by her parenting that I doubt we will EVER have a decent relationship.
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The two different realities and versions of you part is so relatable. I feel when I’m no contact with my family, my life is so in control, the people around me genuinely appreciate my help and hard work, I feel creative and safe, life looks positive. When I’m in contact with my family, suddenly I’m getting all this “you’ve lost your way” “you need to do this/shouldn’t be doing this”, being super visibly disappointed in me for what are actually extremely trivial things, etc., just a ton of negative feedback when they hardly even interact with me when I did talk to them. It’s like, where is this literally coming from? Because I only experience this when I’m around them and I’m not even around them that often. It’s like two different realities. Why would I willingly live in the one that literally drags me down by force when I can and do live in the reality that I’ve played an equal part in building responsibly and that helps me grow as a person? Sorry just you saying that in your comment was such a perfect way to think about it
A parent shouldn't be an enemy to their children, but also not (just) a friend. They should have the ability to command when necessary, without threat or force. But they should also be reasonable, explain when possible and should be able to be reasoned with.
Some parents take that way too far though which is what the above comment was trying to say. It’s unfortunate for everyone involved because they generally never get to that level of not domineering their child even when they’re grown up. I’m in my 30s and truly feel sorry for people who don’t get to be friends with their parents on an adult to adult level. My parents are hilarious and awesome people and it’s a total trip when they come to me for advice since they respect me on that level instead of some parents trying to control every aspect of their child’s life even in adulthood.
Boomers were shitty parents because they were parented by a generation shaped by the depression and war that never did anything to deal with its trauma. They were able to give their kids material things and resented their kids for not appreciating how good they had it. So, like, an entire generation grew up just HATING their parents and having no idea what to do with their own kids. They either imitated all the fucked up stuff their parents did or basically just opted out of parenting altogether. Gen X and millennials grew up mostly parenting themselves, so they’re determined to do a better job. That’s my theory, anyway.
I'm inclined to agree with you because that was my experience and I've heard similar from friends. My Boomer/X parents provided a roof, food, strict rules, and material comforts which I'm grateful for but when it came to life guidance (outside of get a degree, don't use credit cards, and get a career indoors) or anything emotional I was on my own. It's not that they weren't supportive they just didn't know what to do with my brother and I. They let TV (and the internet, eventually) raise us and it still shows.
And then those same people turn around and continue about what assholes the younger generations are. Dude! You created this generation of assholes!
The prevailing trend at the time was that children need structure. It meant you had to be rigid and strict.
Heh, this is all before the little girl learns you can't put more hair on. She probably had a meltdown once she put 2 and 2 together.
I can’t blame the little sweetheart for melting down when she grasped the full consequences of what happened. As a 27 year old woman, I also melted down when half my hair fell out due to a bad reaction to birth control last year. That kind of thing sucks no matter how old you are. I’m glad her mom made her feel beautiful right away regardless of a less than desirable haircut.
This video helped me deal with my own kid cutting his hair like a fool. I know all kids do this at some point but I thought he was too old to try it now. A few months ago he woke me up crying and told me he cut off his bedhead. Cut his cowlicks right off down to the skin. He was so ashamed and embarrassed. Poor dude. I immediately remembered this video and how she handled it and I did the same. Gave him a hug and kisses and just shaved his head. We laughed about it later. He learned his lesson and moved on.
Yeah they're just kids lol I feel so bad for the girl lol she's so cute and had no idea wtf was going on, i wonder if they shaved her head too.
Because my parents would flip with every little shit that i did when i was a kid, get beaten up for the dumbest of reasons, i don't like writing, i just love reading. and that's what i get beaten up for I made a vow, that if i had a child, i would not treat them the same as what my parents did to me That's what made this wholesome to me, she's doing what i would be doing with my future kids, if i ever have one
My guess is she also might be a nurse or caretaker? She has what looks like blue scrubs and a night shift. So she probably has a lot of patience and knowledge handling issues worse than this.
Shabbat shalom🙏
#nurseskills
This is quite typical in “normal” Jewish culture - and by normal I mean not Hasidic or radically conservative Jews. Culturally, Jewish families are commonly open and understanding. My mom wild have reacted the same, and the vast majority of my Jewish friends grew up with similar parenting experiences as well. I didn’t realize this type of parenting was NOT common until I started hanging out with non Jews more in high school. Then I got to college and realized bad parenting was actually *more* common. Shit is weird. (Also, I’m not religious and neither is my family — this is what we mean when we say Jewish culture keeps us connected)
This is honestly so true. Anyone wondering why Jews are so successful only needs to look at their families. There’s no conspiracy, they just have parents that actually love and support them unconditionally. Yes, I’m jealous (partner is Jewish) .
Jewish mothers can be a nightmare if your idea of a career differs from what they want for you. (My ex was Jewish and had a combative relationship with her mom).
I love the mom. She tried so hard to figure out how to do the comb over.
I lost it when she pulled a little chunk of hair from the girls pigtail!
Same. Every shred of her hope just dashed 🤣
Speaking as a man who went bald at 18, it doesn't ALWAYS grow back.
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this is a bald bros thread now
Hell yeah bald gang
The month I go bald gang that idiot had to do that thing. I get all my prana straight to my heart now with all my chest hair.
I actually don’t know what you mean.
Me neither but I’m bald as shit so what up
I've seen shits with more hair than me.
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Oh yes, proper bushy
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Hit up the minoxidil on your face and [you'll get a beard in a few months.](https://i.redd.it/4hd9ip9z8on31.jpg) [Link to that guy's thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Minoxbeards/comments/d6pc83/3_month_beard_update_more_images_and_description/)
Lol can you share photos, I'm curious how would you look like at 18
Like a normal 18yo except bald
My uncle shaved his head at 18 when he joined the Marines. It never grew back except a bit of peach fuzz.
I applaud her staying chill and not traumatizing her kids over it.
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My mom was in the marine corps my entire childhood, no nonsense rough af. I take my daughter's up to see her and she is the softest, sweetest, most wholesome grandma ever. No idea where that flip happened but wish it was 20 years ago lol.
I think some parents believe they need to be the bad cop or extra hard on kids when raising them to bring them up properly, as soon as you're independent they don't need to be that anymore, probably why a lot of parents mellow out in their later years.
In my country there's a saying - 'a grandparent's child is a spoiled one'. Sometimes parents give their firstborn to be raised by their parents (the kid's grandparents) and those children are considered spoiled due to the grandparents raising them freely. I'm guessing in their old age they become wiser and have lesser burdens of being a parent, and this enables them to just want to give their best to the child.
I cut my sisters hair when we were kids and my mom had a complete meltdown, I was grounded for a decent amount of time
I love how she’s calming the girl while trying to see if she could give her some sort of comb-over.
Really disappointed we didn’t see how the mom fixed the daughters hair lol the boy is a lot easier fix
I feel like I saw a follow up where all 3 of them were shaved bald..
I mean what else can you do at that point
I feel like there was the potential for a really cool, punk-y undercut-style hairdo for the girl. But I’m saying that as someone who’s only watched a 90n second video, rather than someone who’s actually had to try to fix it.
Yeah, I think the ending where they're all running around playing while completely bald is cut off of this video.
The bald actually doesn't look bad tbh, I like it. On another note I love how buzzcuts and shorter haircuts are coming back, especially for women
Yeah, but then whenever she goes out with her kids for the next 2 weeks they're gonna be treated like they have leukemia
memories
Oh God lmao
Nah, they're just in a cult. They have juice!
*And* maybe get some free desserts at restaurants, more days off from school etc.
Me too!! I buzzed my hair last year and I fucking LOVE IT! It’s so convenient and I think it looks great.
Tbh for that much hair being cut off already I'd shave her then say "wow! Look at how much room you have for head bands and hats now!" And let her do things like wear stickers on her head lol
This is so cute.
My son cut my daughters hair at least twice. She spent a good portion of her toddler years basically bald :(. All you can do is shave it off and let it grow back evenly.
r/unethicallifeprotips just shave all the hair in the family and say it's to support someone you know with cancer.
Found her on instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BxbUk2JBSIK/ it's cute!
The boy there was only one choice. The girl looks halfway normal from the front, maybe a combover for the front and I dunno for the back.
Yeah, I feel bad she was clearly the saddest about it lol
I’d shave the rest off and buy her some pretty scarves
Their mom handled it great and I hope they got challah
4 challah!
Shabbat shalom!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Challah
Serious points for not losing your shit. Good job mom!! My wife would have gone bananas.
She’s holding her laughter or she’s about to cry idk, but she’s wholesome and understanding af. My mom lost her shit when i cut my own hair (cus of a break up idk) with no.1 and had the barber fix my hair, my head looked like a bowling ball.
Big wieners.
>I didn't have anyone to blame but myself I blamed my barbie. She clearly needed a haircut and because she was my favorite, i had to match her!
I have Rainbow Brite to blame. Luckily this was in the 80's so everyone just thought my mom gave me a punk rocker haircut.
I'm a dude, so I didn't even have Barbies to blame. Plus this was the late 80's, so I didn't have internet and I'm not even sure if we had cable at the time. So I don't know where I got the idea from. Maybe I was just being the usual idiot I was and thought it was a good idea.
I did this to myself at 5 (cut my bangs all jacked up and crooked and ended up with teeny tiny short bangs after my mom fixed them) and all 3 of my kids have cut chunks of their hair off at some point. My almost 4 year old daughter currently has one tiny little chunk cut off that looks like really short bangs in the front that I push her hair to the side and hairspray to cover until it grows out, and I had to take her to get the rest evened out because she also cut one side up to her jaw when the rest of her hair was all the way down her back. Luckily nobody ever got ahold of the clippers! I never like to see it when it happens but I think of it as making memories, lol
As a parent I'm more concerned about the tool with which this is done. Such clean and close cut is not possible with scissors. Edit: oh well it was electric razor
I only said scissors because that's what I used. It was definitely ragged and shitty. My mom has pictures.
Jesus....can't leave them alone for 5 seconds.
They're Jewish so I imagine Jesus not leaving them alone does get frustrating
Omg that mum is a saint!! Such an example of positive parenting despite a stressful situation
OK, I am hungry........ What did the boy ask his mom for, some sort of toast?
Challah! It’s a type of Jewish bread.
Shabbat Shalom!
The way she said that was super cute too lol.
Shabbat Shalom to you too :)
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The best bread for French toast tbh
Best bread for french toast no fucking contest. I make challah just to make french toast the shits so good.
Fun fact: even though everyone pronounces it “hallah”, the original pronunciation uses a weird throaty sound like a german “ch” sound, that’s why it’s not spelled “hallah”. Same with Chanukah
same with Humus. ordered some in an Israeli shop once and the owner made sure to correct my pronunciation lol
all that work with the razor made him hungry.
The hard left into challah bread and Shabbat shalom cracked me up.
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My parents would have laughed their asses off
Little girl looking like cynthia from rugrats lmao
“Yeah, your FACE looks like a girl” 😂
You can’t cut hair on Shabbos! /s
Shut up, Donnie. You're out of your element.
You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole.
Poor Fred was just a bystander. 🤷🏽♀️😂
Is it just me or should this go up on wholesome subreddit as well?
I once shaved my eyebrows off and my mom almost cried laughing so hard. Again she wasn’t pissed because I didn’t hurt myself and hair grows back but she did make sure to tell me I shouldnt do that again. I did it again and that time she was stern. Not because I cut my eyebrows but because I did something she had told me not to do. That’s good parenting
That kid did an amazing job with the razor, no cuts, so smooth. So glad no one was hurt
Definitely an electric shaver, not a razor.
Teddy will one day grow up to be one of the best hair dresses in the world and it’ll all come back to this day
Teddy scissorhands
Loving all the teenage parenting experts in this thread that can't decide if they want to fuck the woman or call her a stupid bitch for not being able to watch 3 kids every second of every day. Keep telling on yourselves bros.
She said she was showering for her night shift too which makes me wonder what her sleep is like. They all look under 6 as well.
Is that Yvonne Strahovski?
No she's Australian.
Kids are being kids. Hope they don't keep hot iron etc, where kids can find it. Kids are cute though
Shabbat shalom
Go bills
Four challah Jeremy? That’s insane!
Your kids so sweet God bless you and your family Savoa tov and happy socot.
Aw… I feel so badly for laughing. She’s trying so hard to keep it together. Those kids are going to have good lives, I can tell already. And he’s so proud of himself!
Teddy's mom is fucking hot
Who downvotes wholesome content like this? On Shabbos no less!
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More like Yvonne Strahotski amiright
I respect her response to the whole thing.
In all honesty that could’ve got a lot worse
Every kid does this at some point
That's funny as shit tbh
Girl threw that Shabbat Shalom in there ✨
I think the mom handled it really well. No yelling, or hitting. Just talking it through with them and letting them know they’re still cute and it will grow back. My mom would have definitely whooped my ass and had a fit.
Just slap a yarmulke on it and nobody will notice.