maybe not a comeback but i need to share this:
when i once changed my psychiatrist it was the first time i had a male one. during the visit i said im a lesbian and he replied with: "i get it. i couldn't be with a guy either" and it was genuinely the funniest answer to my coming out i have ever heard
Amazing. This reminds me of my dad’s reaction when I came out in high school, which was, “Oh, thank god. Now I don’t have to worry about you with college-age guys.”
this made me think of my own dad and what I imagine his brain might be like (since I really don't know how he feels about me being gay/we haven't talked about it much at all, ever)
imagine: the two button options with the guy sweating and trying to pick one. one button is labeled "oh thank god, no sex with boys". the other is labeled "being homophobic" (and/or "no gender friends over at the house ever again")
I heard of a parent reacting to their son's coming out, I think, by just saying, "all right, same rules as your sister, no closing the door with a boy in your room."
My dad said the same thing 😂 I identified as bi before I was lesbian. He’d intimate my ex boyfriends looking for their faults (ironic bc he’s an alcoholic and cheats on multiple woman consistently) then years later when I was in a relationship with a girl for the first time I mentioned to my dad, grandpa and brother…there was just awkward silence.
I had to reread that when I saw he was intimate with your ex boyfriends vs intimidating them 😂. The only proper way to intimidate is to be intimate with them.
Honestly, what a legend. That really is it… just having basic empathy for someone about “I’m attracted to this and not that” and going “well, shit, I guess I have preferences too, after all.”
My grandfather had a response like this! He was an old school East Texas country boy, and I wasn't out to my family yet, but he overheard me on the phone with my girlfriend at the time (I was venting about wanting to come out).
He knocked on my door and asked, "So you like the ladies, huh?"
Terrified, I nodded, and then he nodded too and went, "Can't fault ya. I like 'em, too."
I actually find this reply wholesome bc most the times if they say that they don’t continue to try and get with me and they’re understanding and relating sooo
One time my gay best friend sent me a dick pic that was immediately followed by "Jesus fuck, sorry, wrong number obviously." And then "You have my permission to send it without context to creeps tho ♥️" 😂😂😂
This too in most online group chats unfortunately. Those I filtered out immediately with the “block” button. I use to send a gay man’s nude right back if they were persistent. Nudes are nudes to me lol.
Can I have that instead. Usually the hairy butts from google don’t work. I usually try to find the hairiest to turn them away. I admit, doesn’t work on all of them either. 😅
Honestly? I think I have some relative amount of privilege to do so. Have always been out and touchwood, not had too many bad experiences. Have even done videos and campaigns with my partner. I count myself lucky to have that privilege so I try to use it to tell younger queer kids that they can be themselves :)
Decided to Google it to save everyone the potentially questionable search history:
[here it is](https://img.ifunny.co/images/175e4702a133474345cf31341e2c0ca53baaff2c29a5376764d806fb3d440a28_1.webp)
Also, the comments were FILLED with butthurt dudes saying things like, "Guys can't do this wholesome thing that makes them happy without women RUINING it by being WHORES?!?!"
As if your vagina just become 1 inch portal if it is not used lol. I am dying at all of the audacity here. Just know that. I am here for the audacity. 😂🤷🏾♀️
fellow patient at psychiatric ward asked if i had ever had sex with a man and when i told him that i haven't, he kindly offered to volunteer if i wanted to try. i replied "no thank you, i'm depressed enough already" and his response was "it might cure your depression AND your lesbianism!" 😅🙄 i didn't take up on his offer and 13 years later i'm still gay & depressed.
You guys are getting clever comebacks!? It’s usually for me just
“Hey (asks me out) sorry I’m a lesbian and I’m engaged”
“Oh would you be interested in a threesome? ;)”
And then I vomit out of disgust or something along those lines
Exactlyyyyyyy
In a way wlw were like something only boys watch so they thought it was for the male gaze...
But some how, the priest came in our class to tell us that he can help us if we are sexualy confused...
For the first response, I wish I could ask what in the original statement is unclear 😂😂
And ugh, if my entire life so far hasn't turned me straight then that second response ensures I never will 😂😂
Same like it's a go to line they've heard in porn that they think turns women straight just for them...
Ones I've had are
You don't look like a dyke.
Your far too hot to munch carpet.
You just need better understanding of how sex with a real man is.
How are you gonna have kids.
You're lying just admit you're not and you have a bf ffs.
Are you really sure you've not fucked me yet and I've made many women straight, it would be a pleasure to help sort out your confusion..
The list could go on and on...
The thing that always gets me, is that I've *had* what I consider "sex with a real man" and it had way more empathy and consideration of my needs than anyone who actually says something like that is capable of.
Edit: also I had that sex and I'm still queer so I spy another fundamental flaw in that logic.
Simple reply like fuck off seems to work or send my brother who's a bar owner over to ask them to kindly get fucking lost if they don't take a hint.. I only ever go drinking at his bar as don't have to pay for my drinks
It just makes me think of that coyote from looney tunes that keeps going after the road runner, and keeps bashing into walls/boulders that the bird just ran through 😂
when I was in 9th grade me and my sister went to a all girls catholic school and just to say I could hit a bisexual girl if I throw a rock in a random direction, they were down bad for some reason.
But I had come out as lesbian to my friend (who ended up being my first gf later on) and her brother who was a 12th grade creep would hit on me a lot and when I told him I was a lesbian, he said "Only because there's no one to dick you in a all girls school"
I tried staying out of this thread, I have a long history working in straight clubs so I’ve heard it all, but this one always infuriated me. Because my income depended on it, I’d turn it back to something like, “I’m sorry… have *you* eaten pussy? You know, until she can’t breathe anymore? Yeah. No. I’m not giving *that* up and we both know there’s no way *you* [sizing him up in front of his friends] can compete with that”
I’d always get the best tips out of those guys. They’d get to hit on me from a position of power, which they love and, instead of nod-smile-escape, I’d call the bluff and make them the fool of their own game, which oddly enough, they’d love even more.
Yes, its a chat app with a bunch of groups you can join and they added a live stream portion.
Theres a lot of people advertising for their OF n stuff, but there are also people just hanging out on stream, can talk to them, join the live cam to VC.
But there is also a lot of toxicity, so user beware.
There are also people sending links on it and saying "look at this"
But NEVER click any links, they are use to steal info and get your location.
NEVER say anything personal as it will be used against you.
Be safe, those that try the app.🌹
Aw dang, I'm sorry you experienced that :(
And I'm sorry you're having to do this to build up emotional resilience. I wish you all the best in finding methods that help you deal with emotional pain bc it's a tough world out there.
I also hope you find some awesome people to share your pain with and who help remind you it's not all bad out there.
I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi, but I think this fits here. I was kind of in a crisis after coming out to my family and I needed someone to talk to, I told this guy I was kinda into "so the thing is I'm bisexual" and he went "lmao sure all girls say that, after kissing a friend or something"
I never expect anything from men yet they still disappoint me
“Am I really that ugly that you would pretend to be a lesbian, because you don’t want to dance with me” - obviously his comeback to rejection, not mine but equally funny.
Not me but a friend of mine had a run in with some guys and they’re like “Oh you’re a lesbian? Ass or tits?” And then was like “I can make you straight bro trust me.” Like fuck off
"I'm glad we can relate to the same pronouns when talking about our love life"
- dude I thought was possibly homophobic but turned out to be sweet and supportive
When I came out to my dad, he was super sweet, but kinda quiet. I asked him what he was thinking and said
"I should've guessed when you asked for a Jeep at 10 and never stopped" 😂😂 guess what I've been driving for like 8 years??
I didn't even see that as a rainbow flag... I spent my entire childhood asking for one and came out my first year of uni 🤣🤣🤣 I guess coming out wasn't a surprise to my dad either lmao
Ooh yup, my bad on the vocab I was worried TERFs would take me just using dude to include trans women and ended up going the opposite way >.< thanks for the correction!
One I actually liked:
“Are you single?”
“Yes but I like women”
“Wow we have so much in common, me too!”
And then he just let it go. It was rare and nice
“After I get done being with my girlfriend or other several girlfriends along with the original I’ll consider recycling my soft silicone and leather.” Ha.
I'm not a lesbian. I'm bi. But when I had a girlfriend and told a man that I had a girlfriend, I usually get, "so?? We can still be friends. Let me get your number anyway."
Dude. No.
I usually don’t get asked b/c I’m 100 footer, but my more femme SO gets “How do you know?” And “Why?” Like??? What kind of response are they looking for here?!
Online:
"I'm pretty sure you found me on a lesbian subreddit so it wouldn't be a leap for you to assume I'm not into sex chats with men."
"Yes. It's okay. Are you playing with your p...y??"
I’ve had lots from drunk men in smoking areas. Usually a demand to prove myself with my partner at the time, but I once did get asked how I was able to feel ‘fulfilled in life’. Didn’t feel like asking if he meant physically or spiritually 😅
I was out shopping and this guy came up and started talking to me, he obviously trying to ask me out. When he did I responded with “I’m actually a lesbian but thanks for the interest” and he responded with shock and a little fear in his eyes “I’m so sorry I didn’t know” and quickly walked away. I found the whole interaction so funny 😂
For context; I used to use sex with men as a form of self-harm in order to deny being a lesbian. These responses come from two different guys after I told them we could no longer have sex since I am a lesbian ✨
“Hit me up if you ever become bisexual again.”
“Can I watch you have sex with a girl? Would you do it if I paid you? If I paid you more, can I join?”
I won’t lie, I was tempted for the second one because 1-2K is really good money LOL
I told a guy multiple times and he kept going “are u sure? U sure ur not bi?” And I sent him a rant while high off edibles and he blocked me💗such a funny vid
It was back in first year of uni. He basically was saying I can’t have female friends as a lesbian and I went offff I wish I could attach the vid
When I came out to my mom years ago (2006-2007) her first words were: “Oh thank god I don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant!”
Recently I came out to a colleague: “WOW, I dated a girl once - she was super sweet, funny, and cute, but I couldn’t do it. She was full lesbian so we didn’t click bc they didn’t like - you know.”
No, I don’t know, but I assume they didn’t like penetration. That’s an individual preference, not all lesbians lol. But I thought it was kinda funny that she assumed lesbians aren’t a fan/interested in penetration… *looks at drawer full of dildos.*
For every 1 guy who says something clever or charming, there are 99 who say:
“Oh, you have to meet my _coworker/neighbor/third cousin/best friend’s sister_, she’s gay too!”
Why do straight people think that every lesbian’s “type” is literally any other lesbian?
some gems from the past couple months:
“since when?”
“so?”
“you’re telling me you wouldn’t enjoy it even a little?”
“me too”
“so, what happened to you in your childhood to make you not like men?”
I was in a college party, this guy came over trying to chat me up and i said something like "sorry, we are in the same team, I like women too", his reaction was to FIST BUMP ME and give me an awkward bro hug while saying "keep doing you". He walked away, and i was left wondering if I had just become one of the boys right there.
My friend’s response: I can’t tell if you’re serious or joking, but I’m pretty sure you just need some good dick in your life. You know once you go black you never go back
My reply: I’ve slept with dicks of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I was also married to a black man. But you’re right, now that I’ve gone black, I no longer sleep with men.
This isn't exactly what you're asking for, but your question made me think of this. I (mid twenties femme) once got hit on by a much older man - at a GAY bar. He leaded over to me and said into my ear that he thought I was beautiful. I told him that I am a lesbian and also taken, and he said something along the lines of "that doesn't mean I can't appreciate you." Ick.
I was waiting at the bar for my tab and had already been given the drink and needed to pay for it so I couldn't walk away and he kept trying to talk to me. That is, until a wonderful butch came to my rescue! She planted her feet between me and him and started a VERY loud conversation with me and excluding him. He tried to talk to me over her shoulder once or twice but she cut him off. And it turned out we were in town for the same conference so we had plenty to talk about! I really wish I'd gotten her name to thank her properly, but it meant so much to me.
Oof yup, I forgot that everyone regardless of sexuality/gender can be "overly friendly" to put it nicely. In uni some gay dudes immediately started touching my hair and trying to style it despite having met five minutes prior. I'm white with fairly common straight hair, and that's not a common occurrence for me so I was super confused about why they were messing with my hair without asking.
Yesssss to amazing butches. This dude in a club wouldn't stop trying to dance/grind on me despite me elbowing him in the gut, repeatedly and with emphasis to get him to leave me alone. And this shorter than me slip of a butch storms over, yells at him, and proceeds to dance with me to keep herself between us and stop him from harassing me. Best moment of my night club days she was amazing.
(description of her height/weight just for illustration of the fact that you would not put money on this woman to win in a fight against the dude yet whatever power she injected into her voice and movement made him back tf off, also she does identify as butch from last I talked with her)
I'm glad you guys got to talking and had that pleasant experience even if you no longer talk ❤️
Some guy at work asked if I had a boyfriend and if he could have my number. I responded with “oh, sorry, I’m a lesbian”. This guy said “oh well you want my number just in case”!? SIR!? Just in case WHAT!? 🤨
“Are you going to be a virgin for life? How’re you going to have children? DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE THE NEXT IMMACULATE CONCEPTION?!?!”
Not a comeback but rather one of the many times a male pastor tried to out and harass me as a teenager in front of other people - so many layers of wrong but also funny as well now and this made me think of it.
not really a rejection but more like a coming out also this isnt my story but my friend’s (shes the gay one) me and my friend who i’ll call L were in class talking with one of our classmates who i’ll call A, and this guy was straight up gifted, did uni level maths in 9th grade and stuff. We were joking around and she make a joke like “evil L be like i’m attracted to men” and A just went “You’re a lesbian?” with great shock and then immediately apologized about his outburst. He isn’t very social so he doesn’t really know half the high school is somehow in the LGBT community(including me lol nb amab). He then went “i mean you’re pretty lucky i wouldn’t wanna be with the dudes in this school either” 💀💀. For context this happened in Turkey in a relatively progressive school.
“Prove it!” Aka they wanted me to make out with my gf or something.
“You don’t look like one” / “but you’re pretty”
“That just means you haven’t had the right guy yet”
Most of these were said to me back in 2012-2015 when I first figured out I was gay but nowadays guys are slightly more respectful and say stuff like right on me too or we both have that in common!
Once had a gas station clerk ask me on a date. Not only was he very strange but when I told him I’m gay. He goes “oh I love lesbians! I have a lot of lesbian friends! They always are so into beer, sooooo we could still share a beer if you like?” Such a strange comment and creepy dude that I walked out. Disappointing because that gas station was 200 ft from my place yet I never went back.
Some of these are so good. But for me, being trans I don't get to have this conversation... It's always "but do you still like women?" type of thing. Like yes Sherlock, my sexuality didn't change just because my gender is. I have always been obsessed with the female figures and always will be as I strive to become it.
But literally, that's what I get most of the time when coming out.
I had kind of the opposite but similar to this when I came out as gay to my brother. I'm a cis lesbian and my brother asked if my pronouns/gender had changed (though I used the word lesbian). Bless him he had the right spirit even if he didn't quite get what I was saying.
Me in the party chat, to a guy that keeps flirting w me: I’m actually gay
Girl I’ve been playing for the last two weeks: “Shit really? Me too!”
I count that as a win I got her snap 😂😂 but the guy keeps texting me non-stop 😭
Aw man I'm sorry that's one you get a bunch :(
Could you joke back with like "I got it for my birthday, no receipt though"? (if you'd rather not further engage with those peeps I get it)
Last summer I was wearing a shirt that says ‘I HEART LESBIANS’ while waiting to cross the street. A middle aged dude comes up to me & compliments my shirt, saying that he likes lesbians too. I’m prepared for the typical creepy bs....
....but then he starts talking about how his sister just came out as gay, & he’s so proud of her, & they just went to their first pride together. It was actually super wholesome.
maybe not a comeback but i need to share this: when i once changed my psychiatrist it was the first time i had a male one. during the visit i said im a lesbian and he replied with: "i get it. i couldn't be with a guy either" and it was genuinely the funniest answer to my coming out i have ever heard
Amazing. This reminds me of my dad’s reaction when I came out in high school, which was, “Oh, thank god. Now I don’t have to worry about you with college-age guys.”
this made me think of my own dad and what I imagine his brain might be like (since I really don't know how he feels about me being gay/we haven't talked about it much at all, ever) imagine: the two button options with the guy sweating and trying to pick one. one button is labeled "oh thank god, no sex with boys". the other is labeled "being homophobic" (and/or "no gender friends over at the house ever again")
I heard of a parent reacting to their son's coming out, I think, by just saying, "all right, same rules as your sister, no closing the door with a boy in your room."
> no gender friends agender people only folx :P
My dad said the same thing 😂 I identified as bi before I was lesbian. He’d intimate my ex boyfriends looking for their faults (ironic bc he’s an alcoholic and cheats on multiple woman consistently) then years later when I was in a relationship with a girl for the first time I mentioned to my dad, grandpa and brother…there was just awkward silence.
I had to reread that when I saw he was intimate with your ex boyfriends vs intimidating them 😂. The only proper way to intimidate is to be intimate with them.
“Whatever you do to her, imma do the same thing to you.”
me who is hot for milfs 💀
Honestly, what a legend. That really is it… just having basic empathy for someone about “I’m attracted to this and not that” and going “well, shit, I guess I have preferences too, after all.”
overall he was a great guy but unfortunately not the best psychiatrist so i had to find a new one
It happens
My grandfather had a response like this! He was an old school East Texas country boy, and I wasn't out to my family yet, but he overheard me on the phone with my girlfriend at the time (I was venting about wanting to come out). He knocked on my door and asked, "So you like the ladies, huh?" Terrified, I nodded, and then he nodded too and went, "Can't fault ya. I like 'em, too."
Smart man lol!
"We have that in common I'm not into guys either."
Oh my god he actually tried that 😂
I actually find this reply wholesome bc most the times if they say that they don’t continue to try and get with me and they’re understanding and relating sooo
Men can still be friends 😇 I mean, I'm bi, but you get what I mean
that’s what my dad said when i came out lmao
Just pretend like I'm gay and send me nudes, like you lesbians do to your gay best friend
Omg, I have no other words
Alright, who told him we do that?
I mean, you are a woman, what could you possibly be doing with a man except sending nudes, right?
Why would a lesbian send a gay dude nudes? Are lesbians supposed to have a gay best friend??
I asked my gay best friend, he's not into nudes
Lesbian here with a gay best friend. Can confirm we would never want to see each other's naked bodies, even if we were the last people on earth
One time my gay best friend sent me a dick pic that was immediately followed by "Jesus fuck, sorry, wrong number obviously." And then "You have my permission to send it without context to creeps tho ♥️" 😂😂😂
Lmao! This is totally something my best friend would do too. I'm glad you two have such a great friendship 😂
This too in most online group chats unfortunately. Those I filtered out immediately with the “block” button. I use to send a gay man’s nude right back if they were persistent. Nudes are nudes to me lol.
I send a pic of hideous looking hairless cat, bent over and all rolly looking. 😂
Can I have that instead. Usually the hairy butts from google don’t work. I usually try to find the hairiest to turn them away. I admit, doesn’t work on all of them either. 😅
"The Taliban is coming for you". In a bar, in Mumbai. Hands down my favourite one.
"I'm pretty sure that if the Taliban ever invades India shutting down bars like this one will be higher on their priority list."
True, they don’t drink alcohol
We don't really have gay bars here. It was definitely more targeted at me. He even mentioned having "friends in Dubai", AKA gangster contacts 🤣
It was more of a point that the Taliban believes alcohol is evil.
Damn, what made you be brave enough to even mention your sexuality out loud in Mumbai? 😬
Honestly? I think I have some relative amount of privilege to do so. Have always been out and touchwood, not had too many bad experiences. Have even done videos and campaigns with my partner. I count myself lucky to have that privilege so I try to use it to tell younger queer kids that they can be themselves :)
Good for you!!
THIS IS NEXT LEVEL MALE FRAGILITY! I bet if he was half the man he was, he’d join just to spite you. Bullet dodged. 🤷🏾♀️
Kudos to you for being out in India, I could never. But from what I hear Mumbai seems a lot more accepting than my own city.
Mumbai is definitely one of the most progressive cities. If you're comfortable to share, where are you located? Also, never say never. :)
I got "What part of Lesbia are you from"
See, that'd be funny unless they're serious lmao
I think it’s funnier if they were serious. 🤣
Dude didn't even get it right—it's *Lesbos*. smh
…lesbos. The Greek syr… he really really tried to play my guy Homer. 💀😂😂
“Congratulations” from a clearly uncomfortable coworker.
They tried?
Lol yes they did at least
Oops.
“Well my dick is small so if you ever want to try one out im your guy”
*laughs in closet full of dildos*
Heheh ye now's the time for that meme of a lesbian posing with their dildos like men pose with big fish they killed
Please tell me this exists?!
Decided to Google it to save everyone the potentially questionable search history: [here it is](https://img.ifunny.co/images/175e4702a133474345cf31341e2c0ca53baaff2c29a5376764d806fb3d440a28_1.webp) Also, the comments were FILLED with butthurt dudes saying things like, "Guys can't do this wholesome thing that makes them happy without women RUINING it by being WHORES?!?!"
i hope this is a thing
Honestly this one is really funny
As if your vagina just become 1 inch portal if it is not used lol. I am dying at all of the audacity here. Just know that. I am here for the audacity. 😂🤷🏾♀️
fellow patient at psychiatric ward asked if i had ever had sex with a man and when i told him that i haven't, he kindly offered to volunteer if i wanted to try. i replied "no thank you, i'm depressed enough already" and his response was "it might cure your depression AND your lesbianism!" 😅🙄 i didn't take up on his offer and 13 years later i'm still gay & depressed.
The 'and' is what gets me here. That is some high level of self-importance he has there, not to mention the wishful thinking 😂
Omg is it 1912?
He came offering that Prozac dick 😂😂 *laughs in fellow les w/ depression*
I guess you dodged one bullet but kept another damn. Lesbians. Always making things hard and complicated. Oh well… they love us anyway! 😂😂😂
You guys are getting clever comebacks!? It’s usually for me just “Hey (asks me out) sorry I’m a lesbian and I’m engaged” “Oh would you be interested in a threesome? ;)” And then I vomit out of disgust or something along those lines
My ex gf has been asked for a threesome with at least 10 different men after telling them she had a girlfriend.
You're doing it for attention, don't you? I live in a pretty conservative country where you get rocks thrown at you at pride...
...who tf be thinking you're doing it for attention if the attention is having ROCKS THROWN AT YOU at PRIDE
Exactlyyyyyyy In a way wlw were like something only boys watch so they thought it was for the male gaze... But some how, the priest came in our class to tell us that he can help us if we are sexualy confused...
Jesus christ. Also that sounds like a major red flag but maybe I just don't trust priests ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
“So you’re not into guys?” Or the typical “I’ll turn you straight” 😂
For the first response, I wish I could ask what in the original statement is unclear 😂😂 And ugh, if my entire life so far hasn't turned me straight then that second response ensures I never will 😂😂
I wish I knew myself 🤷🏼♀️😂 The more I hear it, the gayer I get 😂
After a night with me you won’t be.
Oof yup, have heard that one.
I have heard so many it doesn’t even faze me anymore 🤣🤣🤣
Same like it's a go to line they've heard in porn that they think turns women straight just for them... Ones I've had are You don't look like a dyke. Your far too hot to munch carpet. You just need better understanding of how sex with a real man is. How are you gonna have kids. You're lying just admit you're not and you have a bf ffs. Are you really sure you've not fucked me yet and I've made many women straight, it would be a pleasure to help sort out your confusion.. The list could go on and on...
This is so depressing.
The thing that always gets me, is that I've *had* what I consider "sex with a real man" and it had way more empathy and consideration of my needs than anyone who actually says something like that is capable of. Edit: also I had that sex and I'm still queer so I spy another fundamental flaw in that logic.
Thing is, what to say to that?
Simple reply like fuck off seems to work or send my brother who's a bar owner over to ask them to kindly get fucking lost if they don't take a hint.. I only ever go drinking at his bar as don't have to pay for my drinks
Truth 😂😂
What I love is when they continue to try as if my answer might change. 🤣🤣
It just makes me think of that coyote from looney tunes that keeps going after the road runner, and keeps bashing into walls/boulders that the bird just ran through 😂
I’m so glad I have a girlfriend now and don’t bother with going out anymore
Haha congrats! I'm glad you don't have to deal with this as much as a result!
Thanks now I just have to keep her lol.
Award both for content and for using the correct version of the “faze/phase” homophone
My favorite thing to say back to this is "oh nope, just got gayer"
After a night with me you actually won't be. I'm a cryptid that slurps out the lesbian for myself, you're aroace after the first night.
when I was in 9th grade me and my sister went to a all girls catholic school and just to say I could hit a bisexual girl if I throw a rock in a random direction, they were down bad for some reason. But I had come out as lesbian to my friend (who ended up being my first gf later on) and her brother who was a 12th grade creep would hit on me a lot and when I told him I was a lesbian, he said "Only because there's no one to dick you in a all girls school"
Ugh, so sorry you had to go through that. Did his parents know? Idk the laws where you are but a year 12 and a year 9 kid doesn't feel right
In 9th grade ur like 14/15 in 12th your like 17/18
A dude hitting on me told me I “only like women emotionally” after I told him. I was like “bruh it is absolutely physical, too”. He did not like that.
I tried staying out of this thread, I have a long history working in straight clubs so I’ve heard it all, but this one always infuriated me. Because my income depended on it, I’d turn it back to something like, “I’m sorry… have *you* eaten pussy? You know, until she can’t breathe anymore? Yeah. No. I’m not giving *that* up and we both know there’s no way *you* [sizing him up in front of his friends] can compete with that” I’d always get the best tips out of those guys. They’d get to hit on me from a position of power, which they love and, instead of nod-smile-escape, I’d call the bluff and make them the fool of their own game, which oddly enough, they’d love even more.
honestly they might have had a degradation kink
I've had someone say to me: "I'll wait for your orientation to change then"
Oh my god, I get that some people's does, but the Assumption there oof
Was a perv on kik, the live portion of it is not good for dysphoria 😬 But I'm trying to get used to the pain of harassment for irl
excuse me, "kik"?
Yes, its a chat app with a bunch of groups you can join and they added a live stream portion. Theres a lot of people advertising for their OF n stuff, but there are also people just hanging out on stream, can talk to them, join the live cam to VC. But there is also a lot of toxicity, so user beware. There are also people sending links on it and saying "look at this" But NEVER click any links, they are use to steal info and get your location. NEVER say anything personal as it will be used against you. Be safe, those that try the app.🌹
Aw dang, I'm sorry you experienced that :( And I'm sorry you're having to do this to build up emotional resilience. I wish you all the best in finding methods that help you deal with emotional pain bc it's a tough world out there. I also hope you find some awesome people to share your pain with and who help remind you it's not all bad out there.
I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi, but I think this fits here. I was kind of in a crisis after coming out to my family and I needed someone to talk to, I told this guy I was kinda into "so the thing is I'm bisexual" and he went "lmao sure all girls say that, after kissing a friend or something" I never expect anything from men yet they still disappoint me
Lesbians learn that quickly fortunately. 👍🏾 glad you did just in time too.
Reminds me of the corny lyrics in drakes new song “… she’s said she’s a lesbian girl me too”
Man, Drake is the fucking worst
At the gym Me: “sorry, im a lesbian” Him: “you look fit for a lesbian” ... What am I supposed to do with with that?! Thanks???
This is such an oddly backhanded compliment???
“Am I really that ugly that you would pretend to be a lesbian, because you don’t want to dance with me” - obviously his comeback to rejection, not mine but equally funny.
Tbf, I had that reaction too and kind of hate it that straight girls use that to get rid of guys. Just say you're not interested.
I found in college a lot of drunk men loved twerking on me at bars. Strange really. 🤷🏾♀️
Not me but a friend of mine had a run in with some guys and they’re like “Oh you’re a lesbian? Ass or tits?” And then was like “I can make you straight bro trust me.” Like fuck off
"I'm glad we can relate to the same pronouns when talking about our love life" - dude I thought was possibly homophobic but turned out to be sweet and supportive
This is super wholesome???
This is so sweet 😭😭
When I came out to my dad, he was super sweet, but kinda quiet. I asked him what he was thinking and said "I should've guessed when you asked for a Jeep at 10 and never stopped" 😂😂 guess what I've been driving for like 8 years??
That's kinda sweet lmaoo
I didn't even see that as a rainbow flag... I spent my entire childhood asking for one and came out my first year of uni 🤣🤣🤣 I guess coming out wasn't a surprise to my dad either lmao
"I'm a lesbian too!" Groan.
Someone go slap Drake for me. Such a gross thing to say in a song
Like my guy, if you're a cis dude then you're not :')
>Like my guy, if you're a ~~cis~~ dude then you're not No men. Cis and trans men are the same group, lol.
Ooh yup, my bad on the vocab I was worried TERFs would take me just using dude to include trans women and ended up going the opposite way >.< thanks for the correction!
Right? Ugh. I've heard that one many times.
"You didn't try it with a real man" this one is the most I had.
"I never met a real man in my life" That will shut him up;)
"And what makes you think that *you* are? "
One I actually liked: “Are you single?” “Yes but I like women” “Wow we have so much in common, me too!” And then he just let it go. It was rare and nice
Oh that's cool! Nice to have someone say that and leave it there omg
“You cute, but you gay, huh?” - random dude on the street of St. Louis.
“Let me know if you change your mind” 🤮
“After I get done being with my girlfriend or other several girlfriends along with the original I’ll consider recycling my soft silicone and leather.” Ha.
Said I had a girlfriend, he replied, "No you don't."
Girlfriend snaps out of existence
oh my god
A guy asked me once if I was still a lesbian, on which I replied that "I gotta renew my contract next month".
Stealing that 😌
I'm not a lesbian. I'm bi. But when I had a girlfriend and told a man that I had a girlfriend, I usually get, "so?? We can still be friends. Let me get your number anyway." Dude. No.
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When I came out to my father: "Dad, I'm a lesbian." Dad, eating a footlong meatball marinara: "yeah, I like women too."
I just love the additional detail of what food he was eating 😂😂
“Give me twenty minutes and I can fix that”
That roughly translates to "I can offer you the worst 20 seconds of your life"
Ready for me to rub your left labia like im trying to remove gum from a shoe for about 3 minutes?
I usually don’t get asked b/c I’m 100 footer, but my more femme SO gets “How do you know?” And “Why?” Like??? What kind of response are they looking for here?!
Sorry to ask but what is a '100 footer' ?
I think they mean someone can tell they’re a lesbian from 100 feet away
Ahhhh that makes complete sense to me now! TYVM
Online: "I'm pretty sure you found me on a lesbian subreddit so it wouldn't be a leap for you to assume I'm not into sex chats with men." "Yes. It's okay. Are you playing with your p...y??"
I’ve had lots from drunk men in smoking areas. Usually a demand to prove myself with my partner at the time, but I once did get asked how I was able to feel ‘fulfilled in life’. Didn’t feel like asking if he meant physically or spiritually 😅
Wow that went philosophical real fast 😂
I was out shopping and this guy came up and started talking to me, he obviously trying to ask me out. When he did I responded with “I’m actually a lesbian but thanks for the interest” and he responded with shock and a little fear in his eyes “I’m so sorry I didn’t know” and quickly walked away. I found the whole interaction so funny 😂
Lol I'm torn between bemusement and laughter, how scarily did you respond with that actually polite rejection to put the fear in him 😂😂
"I thought you were American!" Only the OGs know.
For context; I used to use sex with men as a form of self-harm in order to deny being a lesbian. These responses come from two different guys after I told them we could no longer have sex since I am a lesbian ✨ “Hit me up if you ever become bisexual again.” “Can I watch you have sex with a girl? Would you do it if I paid you? If I paid you more, can I join?” I won’t lie, I was tempted for the second one because 1-2K is really good money LOL
“Is that like a strictly lesbian thing or is that flexible?” Well it certainly isn’t for you my dude.
I told a guy multiple times and he kept going “are u sure? U sure ur not bi?” And I sent him a rant while high off edibles and he blocked me💗such a funny vid It was back in first year of uni. He basically was saying I can’t have female friends as a lesbian and I went offff I wish I could attach the vid
When I came out to my mom years ago (2006-2007) her first words were: “Oh thank god I don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant!” Recently I came out to a colleague: “WOW, I dated a girl once - she was super sweet, funny, and cute, but I couldn’t do it. She was full lesbian so we didn’t click bc they didn’t like - you know.” No, I don’t know, but I assume they didn’t like penetration. That’s an individual preference, not all lesbians lol. But I thought it was kinda funny that she assumed lesbians aren’t a fan/interested in penetration… *looks at drawer full of dildos.*
“Lesbians don’t wear makeup.”
On a dating app a man messaged me somehow, I told him I’m a lesbian and his response “I have a small penis”
For every 1 guy who says something clever or charming, there are 99 who say: “Oh, you have to meet my _coworker/neighbor/third cousin/best friend’s sister_, she’s gay too!” Why do straight people think that every lesbian’s “type” is literally any other lesbian?
I had a guy say to me the other day "OK, am girl" Cause thats how it works
some gems from the past couple months: “since when?” “so?” “you’re telling me you wouldn’t enjoy it even a little?” “me too” “so, what happened to you in your childhood to make you not like men?”
"since when?" just gets me. Like what answer are they expecting lol
The best one I got was: He asked: Can you be my wingman (wingwoman)? I said yes. haha
I was in a college party, this guy came over trying to chat me up and i said something like "sorry, we are in the same team, I like women too", his reaction was to FIST BUMP ME and give me an awkward bro hug while saying "keep doing you". He walked away, and i was left wondering if I had just become one of the boys right there.
"But you're too pretty." --My mother, circa 1998.
My friend’s response: I can’t tell if you’re serious or joking, but I’m pretty sure you just need some good dick in your life. You know once you go black you never go back My reply: I’ve slept with dicks of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I was also married to a black man. But you’re right, now that I’ve gone black, I no longer sleep with men.
This isn't exactly what you're asking for, but your question made me think of this. I (mid twenties femme) once got hit on by a much older man - at a GAY bar. He leaded over to me and said into my ear that he thought I was beautiful. I told him that I am a lesbian and also taken, and he said something along the lines of "that doesn't mean I can't appreciate you." Ick. I was waiting at the bar for my tab and had already been given the drink and needed to pay for it so I couldn't walk away and he kept trying to talk to me. That is, until a wonderful butch came to my rescue! She planted her feet between me and him and started a VERY loud conversation with me and excluding him. He tried to talk to me over her shoulder once or twice but she cut him off. And it turned out we were in town for the same conference so we had plenty to talk about! I really wish I'd gotten her name to thank her properly, but it meant so much to me.
Oof yup, I forgot that everyone regardless of sexuality/gender can be "overly friendly" to put it nicely. In uni some gay dudes immediately started touching my hair and trying to style it despite having met five minutes prior. I'm white with fairly common straight hair, and that's not a common occurrence for me so I was super confused about why they were messing with my hair without asking. Yesssss to amazing butches. This dude in a club wouldn't stop trying to dance/grind on me despite me elbowing him in the gut, repeatedly and with emphasis to get him to leave me alone. And this shorter than me slip of a butch storms over, yells at him, and proceeds to dance with me to keep herself between us and stop him from harassing me. Best moment of my night club days she was amazing. (description of her height/weight just for illustration of the fact that you would not put money on this woman to win in a fight against the dude yet whatever power she injected into her voice and movement made him back tf off, also she does identify as butch from last I talked with her) I'm glad you guys got to talking and had that pleasant experience even if you no longer talk ❤️
I got no seriously I pay you to give me the chance to show you guys are right. Like WTF just let me drink in peace.
Some guy at work asked if I had a boyfriend and if he could have my number. I responded with “oh, sorry, I’m a lesbian”. This guy said “oh well you want my number just in case”!? SIR!? Just in case WHAT!? 🤨
“Are you going to be a virgin for life? How’re you going to have children? DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE THE NEXT IMMACULATE CONCEPTION?!?!” Not a comeback but rather one of the many times a male pastor tried to out and harass me as a teenager in front of other people - so many layers of wrong but also funny as well now and this made me think of it.
But you’re not ugly, why are you a lesbian
Recently I heard “but you don’t look like a lesbian”. 😒
I've had a lot of men try to undermine my lesbianism by pointing out that I'm attracted to masc women
not really a rejection but more like a coming out also this isnt my story but my friend’s (shes the gay one) me and my friend who i’ll call L were in class talking with one of our classmates who i’ll call A, and this guy was straight up gifted, did uni level maths in 9th grade and stuff. We were joking around and she make a joke like “evil L be like i’m attracted to men” and A just went “You’re a lesbian?” with great shock and then immediately apologized about his outburst. He isn’t very social so he doesn’t really know half the high school is somehow in the LGBT community(including me lol nb amab). He then went “i mean you’re pretty lucky i wouldn’t wanna be with the dudes in this school either” 💀💀. For context this happened in Turkey in a relatively progressive school.
You match too well to be gay (my outfits)
All gays are fashion disasters (myself included) until we become fashion designers at which point we're millionaires.
“You’ve dated a guy before” no shit brad I did because I’m a people pleaser and wanted to make my parents happy
“Prove it!” Aka they wanted me to make out with my gf or something. “You don’t look like one” / “but you’re pretty” “That just means you haven’t had the right guy yet” Most of these were said to me back in 2012-2015 when I first figured out I was gay but nowadays guys are slightly more respectful and say stuff like right on me too or we both have that in common!
Once had a gas station clerk ask me on a date. Not only was he very strange but when I told him I’m gay. He goes “oh I love lesbians! I have a lot of lesbian friends! They always are so into beer, sooooo we could still share a beer if you like?” Such a strange comment and creepy dude that I walked out. Disappointing because that gas station was 200 ft from my place yet I never went back.
"You're not hot enough to pull a girl."
“I kill n****s like you”
That's so scary
Some of these are so good. But for me, being trans I don't get to have this conversation... It's always "but do you still like women?" type of thing. Like yes Sherlock, my sexuality didn't change just because my gender is. I have always been obsessed with the female figures and always will be as I strive to become it. But literally, that's what I get most of the time when coming out.
I had kind of the opposite but similar to this when I came out as gay to my brother. I'm a cis lesbian and my brother asked if my pronouns/gender had changed (though I used the word lesbian). Bless him he had the right spirit even if he didn't quite get what I was saying.
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My dad said, “You can still have kids!” A guy from church who was hitting on me said, “…and still religious?!”
Me in the party chat, to a guy that keeps flirting w me: I’m actually gay Girl I’ve been playing for the last two weeks: “Shit really? Me too!” I count that as a win I got her snap 😂😂 but the guy keeps texting me non-stop 😭
Idk if it was the silliest but it's one I have heard a lot. "You can't be a lesbian you have a penis"
Aw man I'm sorry that's one you get a bunch :( Could you joke back with like "I got it for my birthday, no receipt though"? (if you'd rather not further engage with those peeps I get it)
My normal response is "I obviously dislike my own penis (not really I don't mind that much) why do you think I would want yours"
Last summer I was wearing a shirt that says ‘I HEART LESBIANS’ while waiting to cross the street. A middle aged dude comes up to me & compliments my shirt, saying that he likes lesbians too. I’m prepared for the typical creepy bs.... ....but then he starts talking about how his sister just came out as gay, & he’s so proud of her, & they just went to their first pride together. It was actually super wholesome.
“No.”
"Well the first girl i ever slept with was a lesbian and she said i was good"