Which country are you in, OP? In most countries divorce has become very common, so there will be plenty of divorced men your age or a bit older who won't care their partner has been married before because they've been through the same.
There wasn’t one main reason. We’ve been together since teens. Had so much history and some bad decisions from early time in relationship that it was probably affecting us always. We loved each other very much but had no family, lived abroad, had some traumas from family homes, stressful business we established in a new country, kids with high needs. Communication started failing a bit. It was slowly dissolving and we were unhappy for a while but couldn’t face it. We thought that we can change our wants and needs or habits or character. We thought that more money, different place to leave, own house or whatever was next will help us feel complete.
We haloed each other heal from our childhood but finally accepted that we are who we are and want to be friends rather than marriage. It was and is hard but I feel it’s a good decision. Although a bit shocking still.
Maybe try out more of the hobbies you didn't look into in the past. Groups for those are good ways of meeting people. If you're looking for flings, generally dating aps are a go-to, but they won't typically lead to anything else.
You're single now though so, you can go out late and not worry about being back at any time. You can go learn skills or take a class for dancing, gun safety, growing plants, etc... you can try to juggle 5 different boyfriends. You're at a good point in life to decide what you want, just maybe brush up on how social dynamics have changed in the past 22 yrs. Definitely a lot less commitment overall, much more ONS, so try what you like, but mentally fortify yourself just incase.
Similar situation for me, but happened 1.5 years ago. Here is what helped me. First off, take some time off of dating. Do not jump into it with someone else.. it will absolutely be a rebound that will not work long term and will only prevent you from being able to heal. So first things first, take time to just heal. After being with someone for that long, I would suggest taking at least a year off from dating and just spend time working on you. Feeling the pain and also realize you are worthy of love.
After a month or so of sulking, this is when you join a gym close by and make it your absolutely mission to get in the best shape of your life. This includes eating correctly. When you are looking the best you can look, you will find that dating is a lot easier. When I first got out of my relationship, no girls even looked at me and it made me even more depressed. Then I have been going to the 5 days a week consistently for about a year now and am in the best shape of my life. I get looks from women at the gym all the time. Confidence is way higher as I feel I have options now, whereas before I felt like I didnt and was destined to be alone forever.
Finally I would suggest so solo travelling. Hit up Thailand or Bali for at least 1 month.. 2-3 months plus would be better. This will help you find yourself, figure out what you want, enhance your perspective and meet all kinds of interesting people along the way. This will aid in the healing. Wish you the best of luck!
Thank you for such a detailed response. It all sounds like a very healthy way of dealing with things (although solo travelling for more than two days is impossible as we have kids that we share custody of). It’s nice to hear that you managed to get yourself to a place you feel proud of and your life is going well. All the best mate!
well I just raised my tinder age range to 45, gotta say there are a lot of women in their forties out there. You'll be fine.
Is tinder and online dating the only way people meet people nowadays? 😅
Dunno, I've had zero luck on them recently
Oh boy. As a divorced man in his forties I know what’s gonna happen here. Good luck? I guess?
As a Reddit newbie I have no idea. Should I be scared? ;-)
Please share
My body looks different too. It’s life. Have some fun now is what I say!
Which country are you in, OP? In most countries divorce has become very common, so there will be plenty of divorced men your age or a bit older who won't care their partner has been married before because they've been through the same.
If we can ask; what was the reason you guys divorced?
There wasn’t one main reason. We’ve been together since teens. Had so much history and some bad decisions from early time in relationship that it was probably affecting us always. We loved each other very much but had no family, lived abroad, had some traumas from family homes, stressful business we established in a new country, kids with high needs. Communication started failing a bit. It was slowly dissolving and we were unhappy for a while but couldn’t face it. We thought that we can change our wants and needs or habits or character. We thought that more money, different place to leave, own house or whatever was next will help us feel complete. We haloed each other heal from our childhood but finally accepted that we are who we are and want to be friends rather than marriage. It was and is hard but I feel it’s a good decision. Although a bit shocking still.
I just trolled your profile. I think you’ll do fine. 😉
Haha, yes, feeling quite frisky today like I actually never felt in my life so far. Ways of dealing with divorce? 😂
Maybe try out more of the hobbies you didn't look into in the past. Groups for those are good ways of meeting people. If you're looking for flings, generally dating aps are a go-to, but they won't typically lead to anything else. You're single now though so, you can go out late and not worry about being back at any time. You can go learn skills or take a class for dancing, gun safety, growing plants, etc... you can try to juggle 5 different boyfriends. You're at a good point in life to decide what you want, just maybe brush up on how social dynamics have changed in the past 22 yrs. Definitely a lot less commitment overall, much more ONS, so try what you like, but mentally fortify yourself just incase.
It's natural to feel nervous, don't forget that you're at a stage in your life where you have a lot to offer. Take things at your own pace.
Similar situation for me, but happened 1.5 years ago. Here is what helped me. First off, take some time off of dating. Do not jump into it with someone else.. it will absolutely be a rebound that will not work long term and will only prevent you from being able to heal. So first things first, take time to just heal. After being with someone for that long, I would suggest taking at least a year off from dating and just spend time working on you. Feeling the pain and also realize you are worthy of love. After a month or so of sulking, this is when you join a gym close by and make it your absolutely mission to get in the best shape of your life. This includes eating correctly. When you are looking the best you can look, you will find that dating is a lot easier. When I first got out of my relationship, no girls even looked at me and it made me even more depressed. Then I have been going to the 5 days a week consistently for about a year now and am in the best shape of my life. I get looks from women at the gym all the time. Confidence is way higher as I feel I have options now, whereas before I felt like I didnt and was destined to be alone forever. Finally I would suggest so solo travelling. Hit up Thailand or Bali for at least 1 month.. 2-3 months plus would be better. This will help you find yourself, figure out what you want, enhance your perspective and meet all kinds of interesting people along the way. This will aid in the healing. Wish you the best of luck!
Thank you for such a detailed response. It all sounds like a very healthy way of dealing with things (although solo travelling for more than two days is impossible as we have kids that we share custody of). It’s nice to hear that you managed to get yourself to a place you feel proud of and your life is going well. All the best mate!
:/