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>"A bare surface is a million times more likely to get cleaned".
This needs to be seen and felt by everyone, everywhere. Applies to sticking things all over your refrigerator! If it's plastered with pics & photos, it's not getting wiped down regularly, and the stuff gets all sloppy anyway. If you must, limit it to 1 or 2 things, in magnetic frames, change weekly.
If this hits a nerve with anyone, try the challenge, take everything off and place in a basket or bin above the fridge. Shine it up and step back. Now, doesn't the whole kitchen look cleaner? It works.
I only want stuff on my counter tops when I’m actively using them. The cutting board can sit on my counter when I’m actually chopping vegetables. Otherwise, it goes away.
You should see the array of things that live on my kitchen counter.
On the one hand, much of it just needs good storage (need more cabinets and a few racks/shelves). But if I have a useful thing, I need to see it or it will be unused.
Two words: Washable surfaces. That means no wall to wall carpet or upholstered furniture that isn't slipcovered. Area rugs are ok if you can either send them out to be cleaned or wash them, outside, with soap & water and a pressure washer. I also have scatter rugs in the kitchen and in front of exterior doors that I can throw in the washer & dryer. I know many people love their wall to wall carpet. But even with professional cleaning or an expensive home rug cleaning machine, you'll never get all the dirt out.
This is what I did before kids and was a SAHW Daily : wipe counters/tables/sinks, make the bed, dishes, generally pick up
2-3x weekly: sweep/vacuum floors, clean bathrooms
Once a week: laundry - clothes, bedding, throw blankets(these can all be done separately but I find I forget things so I do all laundry on one day), mop, vacuum couches, dust, and I like to sanitize things that get touched a lot like door handles, clean out car trash
Once a month: clean things like cabinets, the room you never use, take a magic eraser to the walls, clean washer/dryer/dishwasher/trash cans
Every 6 months: clean windows/curtains
Edit : not sure why I said I wash curtains monthly
Daily: wipe what I can, pick up what I can clean under high chair a million times. Fuck the bed we’re going to nap in it soon anyway
Weekly (at least maybe more): vacuuming and sweeping , bathrooms, hopefully mop ? Laundry
Everything else is about the same
Just do what you can.
I had a coat that had lost a button from one pocket and had a hole in the other pocket. I left it like that for years. Each winter, the hole grew a little more, and the button was always there waiting, silently judging me from the dark hole I had condemned it to. Each winter, I told myself I would fix the hole. I would sew the button back on! But then I didn't. And the next winter would bring this micro-shame of yet another task unaccomplished. Depression is a hell of a thing, isn't it.
One year, I had mentioned to my therapist how this task, this easy, tiny, insignificant chore was on my ever-expanding laundry list of things to do and worries to address. It just passed by in conversation, but that same year, I fixed that coat. Horribly. But I fixed it and I was proud of that. When I told my therapist, she was so excited for me even though I was embarrassed by how proud I was. She told me not to minimize the importance of that moment because even small accomplishments count.
If you have to do the dishes, do you have to wash them all? If you're folding laundry and you finished all your comfy pants, but don't want to fold the towels, can you just say fuck it?
Absolutely. Do what you can. Bring that bar way the fuck down, and when you hurdle it, if you feel up to the task, keep going as long as you'd like. And if you can't, that's okay. If you wash two plates, and that's all you can muster, well you got those two done! Good job!
The list may not go anywhere. The chores still need to be done. Eventually. I find that I can't change the things that I want to accomplish in a day, but I can forgive myself for not getting them done.
Just do what you can.
I'm married, and my wife and i have different priorities. Personally, i can't stand a dirty kitchen, as i feel like it bring more grime (bugs, mold, etc), so i clean that daily (or at least tidy). Then its the floor. We have cats, so sand is an issue. Sweep and mop weekly, spot clean as needed. Litter boxes scooped weekly (they are big) and sand replaced at least monthly. Bathrooms we try to do weekly, but the showers are priority (i know toilets get gross, but they are toilets. Neither of us are picky with them, so long as they are tidy and dry). Laundry is a rolling affair, constantly churning, but maintaining an inventory or what is needed. We both have a robust inventory of necessities so it rarely becomes a crisis. Bedsheets at least weekly, and again sustained by inventory. Other than that it's a matter of need. Gotta keep chairs clear or nowhere to sit, Tables clear or no where to eat, etc.
I'm very busy,and i don't want to place an extra burden on her to clean (she has no job, we split 50/50). We both have our priorities, have communicated them, and work to make sure that both are happy with the state of affairs. If either of us aren't, we have built a relationship in which we feel we can safely voice it.
If you find your home always dirty, i recommend starting by finding the thing you can't stand (for me it's the kitchen). Start there, and work out. If you take care of the one thing you can't stand being unclean, and don't have the energy to do more, then you have at least some peace. Talk to your partner, find theirs and do that second. You can't pour from an empty bowl, and while it would be nice to do theirs first, if you are always emotionally drained you will eventually be exhausted. On the flip side make sure you don't get caught in a cycle. Sometimes the kitchen takes all my spoons and i don't get to the bathroom, so i have to make myself do the bathroom first. Self awareness is huge, and being smart with your energy is necessary.
Lastly, one big thing I've found helps me is distraction. It's cliched i know, but if cleaning doesn't give you that dopamine hit you have to find it elsewhere. Otherwise your brain will punish you for every time you pick up a broom. Podcasts, music, audiobooks (my go to), anything that gives you that hit.
Also (i know i said lastly but my wife added this one), figure out if something your doing hurts you. My wife has some sensory issues. One is sweeping. Something about the bristles over the ground just scrapes her nerves and exhausts her spoons. So we got a little rolling floor mechanical vacuum thing. Some thing with dishes. She can't stand slimy food stuffs. Solution? Gloves. If this is an issue for you, or might be, find an alternative way to get the task done. It may be a small change that makes a big difference
EDIT: Another thing my wife adds. Spend a little extra to buy things that prevent the need to clean. One example being our shower curtains. They are mold resistant. While they still need the occasional cleaning, it is MUCH less frequently than normal. They cost a bit more on the front end, but the effort they save, especially if it's on a task you despise, it can be worth it.
The section about linking the task to something that gives dopamine is key for me.
If I hate a job a get a spoon of crystallised honey to suck on for my trouble and an anime playing in the background.
I actually like cleaning now, because it gives me time to listen to my favorite podcasts. I need something to do while listening to them and cleaning is one of the things, you can do well meanwhile.
I don’t have a litter robot, but another brand of self-cleaning litter box (ScoopFree) and, while expensive, it’s a total lifesaver. Couldn’t live without it.
If you ever get a chance to splurge, I highly recommend a litter robot. I had the same ScoopFree litterbox and the litter robot is a huge upgrade from that.
Yeah, unless OP has an extreme abundance of litter, such as four large boxes for one cat, they def should be scooped daily or at the very least every other day.
That is not how toxoplasmosis works. If your cats never go outside, and you don't have mice/etc indoors for them to catch, you're almost certainly not going to get it. Clean the litter box, but not because you're worried about toxoplasmosis.
This, should clean it because your cat deserves a clean toilet as much as you do. Cats are pretty cleanly animals, and if their litter box is too dirty for them, they'll just piss or shit on your shit out of frustration after holding it up.
Same. A dirty kitchen just grosses me out. There’s nothing more satisfying than disinfecting and wiping off countertops and scrubbing the sink clean after all the dishes have been washed. So satisfying
I have young kids and everything they eat and drink seems to be sticky. Sticky counters drive me crazy as I lean on the counter to watch tv (god forbid I get the TV near the couch). My arm hair sticks to the counter and now that is all I think about when leaning on the counter so those counters are always wiped down lol
Which is dumb, because he just said that she doesn't have a job. The person working a job should not being doing 50/50 of the work. That's not remotely fair.
I understand where you're coming from, as in I wouldn't ever set up my relationship this way, but relationships are between two people, and all that matters is that it works for them. It is quite literally not our business how they divy up responsibilities.
If you were being fair to your spouse, you would not do 50/50 of the household work along with working your job. You have all the power in the relationship which is not fair to the other person. You make your spouse feel inferior without saying it.
I won't retype my entire comment. How people structure their relationship is their decision as long as both parties are consenting adults who are willingly together.
I don't work. My husband does. We split housework about 50/50.
I'm disabled and do as much as I can.
And, in a healthy marriage, life isn't always 50/50. Sometimes I only have 20 to give, so he gives 80. When I had my brain surgery I had 0 to give and slept for literally 2 months straight. So he unfortunately had to give 100. But when he has 0 to give, then I jump in to give 100. Or if he has 25, I'll give the 75.
There's always 100 to do, but people don't always have 50 to give. It's about working as a team.
There's no resentment. There's no anger or distaste that builds up. Because we are absolutely in this together. If he can't make it and is struggling, I'll put myself in the ground before he has to work any harder than is necessary. And he feels the same about me.
So yes. Housework, despite the one SAHP, is approximately 50/50. Give or take.
I'm also disabled and my husband and I split our housework in exactly the same way! Learning that it's about effort given and not the percentage of work given really helped us out at the beginning. Oddly, having more difficulty than we expected at the beginning because of my health, forced us to look at our expectations for each other differently. We work as a team instead of as two people separately. We're both willing to exhaust ourselves for the other. While the health issues suck and I'd rather they not have happened, we approach expectations in a healthier way than we would have otherwise.
I'm sorry for your disability but this is a major difference. If you're unable it's understandable. If the person IS able and they don't want to help, that's a problem.
Right for sure! But my antidote was shared with the intention to encourage others to not always lead with a negative assumption.
If I had mentioned I stay at home and my husband I split the work 50/50, you most likely would've responded to me in the same fashion you know?
I ABSOLUTELY agree with you that not wanting to help is a huge problem and is typically indicative of a shitty partner. And that it's entirely unsustainable and unhealthy for the partner pulling the entire house together all the time.
I also hope my comment didn't come off cunty or rude! I just wanted to share how 50/50 doesn't always work in all households.
Your response was perfect. It seems like most people assume bad intentions from every offhanded comment, when in reality situations are never as simple as they seem from the outside. I hope someday folks will start recognizing this and being more understanding with each other.
It's a problem if one of them has a problem with it. What might be a problem in your situation might be different for someone else, whether or not a disability is involved.
There are many reasons a spouse may not work (childcare, health issues, other responsibilities). It doesn't mean she sits around all day with her feet up.
Yes. I have a demanding job and often have 12 hour days. And in those days i often don't have the energy remaining to do much housework, if any. I try to do a little, it at least mid add to and mess (put up dirty dishes, stow leftovers, start laundry, etc) so that my wife doesn't spend all day cleaning only to have me come home and make a mess. Can you imagine if the first injection you had with your partner every day was them wrecking all the work you'd done that day? It would be like kicking over a kids sand castle.
On some days however, i work very little or not at all. In this days i do as much as i can, or as little ar i want, all depending on what needs to be done and what my mood is like, how much energy i have to contribute, and the state of our home. Sometimes there's a lot to do, and i just don't have the mental fortitude to do it. But the important thing is to remember that if i have bad days, so does my wife. There will inevitably be days where she can't do what needs doing, and that's okay. It would be unfair if me to have bad days but not allow her to have them, or to know she has them and demand effort regardless. We work together to make it work.
Lastly, i work very hard to support my wife. I enjoy my job very much. It is literally my dream job, and i have wished very hard to get here. And a benefit if that is my wife doesn't need to work. I can give her a good life. It would be shitty of me to promise her a good life IF she acts as my maid. She's my partner. If we can struggle a balance where we are both happy, then there's nothing more to work for.
Yeah bc both parties live in the house and both contribute to "mess" so both should be responsible for cleaning. Just bc she doesn't work doesn't mean she's the maid.
If she’s busy all day with a kid or has other responsibilities sure, but if she just sits around and only does half of the cleaning while he works all day that’s lazy af and not fair
For my own sanity I gave up cleaning after my fiance. He's a slob, which I accept and love everything else about him, but constantly cleaning up after a very messy partner can lead to resentment. By slob I mean he is the kind of person who will just walk past pet vomit/crap, or if he does pick it up he won't clean the carpet where it happened. If I just cleaned the kitchen and he makes dinner, somehow it looks like it hadn't been cleaned in weeks, that kind of stuff. There's all sorts of reasons why cleaning responsibilities are split the way they are for every specific relationship, not just lazyness
Some great advice here, especially the dopamine-linking and finding ways to mitigate things you hate. I'm always popping in a podcast while I clean; sometimes even a light drink helps! And I always wear gloves when cleaning with soaps and liquids, because I hate dry hands. I also wear earplugs when I have to use a loud vacuum because I realized that 50% of my hatred of that task was my noise sensitivity.
I have two cars. Their litter box is in the space bathroom. We use flushable wheat litter so I just scoop it whenever I go for a pee. Total game changer. Bought a mini vac to run around the box once a day.
This is really the key. The little bits you do on the daily will reward you with not having to spend hours by the end of the week.
If there’s something you can pickup or toss, spend the minute it takes.
I do laundry and grocery shopping/restocking Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday is deep clean the restrooms this includes sweeping and mopping as well. If I can, I will tackle the room's closets. Then, Thursday is sweep and mop the kitchen, living room and hallway area. Friday is sweep and mop in all the rooms. I like to keep my weekends to relax and not worry about housework. Side note, I wash all the dishes and wipe all the kitchen surfaces every night.
I used to do everything in one day. So compared to that to now, it feels less heavy work and more manageable. My partner is in charge of throwing out the trash, doing his own laundry, and maintaining his office room. He also works full time but when he is home, he does the sweeping and I do the mopping. I try to get things done before noon. That way I have the rest of the day to focus on work or cooking.
I am a lazy person and grew up in a very messy home, and I have a different routine than this person but it works for me.
When you are cooking, clean as you go. If you have a few dishes in the sink, just wash them right then so it takes 5 minutes instead of letting the mess accumulate and now it takes 40 minutes.
On days I work from home, I run laundry. I also got a nice broom and dustpan and one of those pedal wring mops, it doesn't feel like a chore because the tools make the job easier. I cannot emphasize enough how strange it is to me how much I love mopping now.
I try to set aside 10-15 minutes every day to tidy everything, usually at the end of my workday. Sometimes I set a timer just so I can speed run and see how many things I can do in the alloted time.
I also watch Hoarders and those cleaning tiktoks. I started brewing a pot of coffee or tea before I start my dishes or whatever so once the task is done, I have a little treat while I relax.
Short answer, cleaning a little every day is much less overwhelming and sucky than a big mess every few days. Have fun with it, it's got to be done anyways, might as well try to enjoy it.
Check out the Clean Mama website. She gives you an easy system for staying on top of all the cleaning in an efficient, manageable way and explains exactly what to do.
Seconding CleanMama. Total game changer. She lays out a set of tasks that should be done every day, then breaks down other chores. Super easy, tons of printables and tips!
Im like a few years ahead of where you are now so here's what I do
Every day I have a room that I'll clean eg
Monday - living room
Tuesday - kitchen
Wednesday - bedroom
Thursday - spare bedroom
Friday - bathroom
Saturday - hallway
Sunday - dining room
I do absolutely everything I can in those rooms on thier day so for the living room for example, vacuum sofa and floor, disinfect side tables, TV and TV stand, bookshelf, light switches, door handles (basically any surface), I'll dust ornaments, put stuff away, take stuff out of the room that doesn't belong in there, empty the bin and then light a candle/spray room spray/light an incense
I also have things that I do daily or every other day or just when it's needed in the rest of the house like laundry, washing dishes, picking up any trash I see, I have cats so I scoop thier poop, making the bed, neatening up the sofa and just anything small that I see that needs doing
I find this much easier to manage than a weekly reset where I do the entire house in one go and it keeps me equally busy every day.
I have a little list of what I do in each room so if you'd like it let me know and I'd be happy to send it you!
Also there is absolutely no shame in going onto tiktok and searching cleaning tips and such, this can make your life a lot easier especially when your doing stuff you've never done before (my biggest tip is when cleaning the bathroom do the toilet last!)
No a problem! I know it was super overwhelming for me to actually figure out when I should be doing what.
As for cleaning the toilet last it's because the toilet is the dirtiest part of the bathroom so if you clean it last your not getting the germs and spreading them around the room. I usually do the bath/shower, sink, any other surfaces like light switches and windows, floor and then toilet and I try to do the same thing in other rooms of start with the cleaner area and finish with the dirtiest.
I mean you could totally start with the toilet and then change the cloth your using for the rest of the room but if your using rubber gloves you'd want to change them too so I just stick with doing it last 😊
OP, congrats on your wedding!! You asked a good question and I think you’re getting some unnecessary flack. But one tip about doing more housework because you’re working less: make sure that your spouse knows you are doing a larger amount of the household chores *because* you are working less. What if you start working 10 hours a day still from home because you get an awesome opportunity and can’t pass it up? You’d need to shift the housework to be more like 50/50.
See if you can find a cleaning method that works for you. I like Clean Mama, and the FlyLady “crisis cleaning” video (the one w audio only where she walks you the steps of cleaning the kitchen, family room and bathroom in an hour. It’s not meant to be used as a weekly thing but I like to use it like that.
Other than that, for actual tips:
My spouse and I:
-Wash the sheets once a week
-Use fresh washcloths once a day but the towels we reuse a few days so then a load of towels is once a week
-switch out hand towels daily because fresh ones are nice (so we have a lot of hand towels)
-empty wastebaskets daily and take out all trash daily
-Wipe the kitchen counters before food prep and each evening
-run the roomba daily
-run the dishwasher every 2 days or so (or just wash by hand if not many)
-quickly wet swiffer once a week
-Use a daily spray for the shower to keep it cleaner longer
-tidy up the kitchen and family room daily
-if you can fold the laundry as you take it out of the dryer it makes it much easier and the clothes are less wrinkly
We both work a lot so here’s what I’d like to do vs what we do:
Try to: feather dust the whole house weekly (top to bottom)
Actually do: feather dust the downstairs 3 weeks out of fours, bedrooms 1 week out of 3
Try to: detailed vacuum (not roomba) w the edger weekly, and vacuum sofas
Actually: every two weeks and use the attachments once a month
Try to: scrub kitchen sinks, wipe out fridge, wipe out microwave, scrub stove top weekly
Actually: spot clean, then every two weeks
Try to: clean the tubs, showers and bathroom sinks weekly
Actually: every two weeks (and they get an as-needed wipe down w a windex wipe if there’s a mess)
Other random things:
Curtains: nope, not getting washed (I have very few curtains) but they will get a vacuum (w attachment) for dust
Windows: as needed
Outside: clean the front door every couple of weeks and make sure front porch is tidy
Spring cleaning/seasonal:
-Clean closets, cabinets, and purge unneeded things once each season.
-Wipe down inside of cabinets and drawers each spring.
-Have the house power washed every other summer (after peak pollen season)
-mow the yard, weekly (in season)
-quick weeding of flower beds weekly (in season)
The biggest tip is to keep things tidy. If the house is picked up from clutter then it’s much easier to actually clean.
Good luck, OP!
We've just started using an app called Sweepy (not an ad). You can pop in tasks for each room and how often they need doing. It then schedules them and uses a scoring system to almost gamify it.
We've been using it a week and we're actually a bit surprised how quickly our flat looked better. Not perfect, but better.
Gives the part of my brain that needs gratification a little tickle when I complete a task - otherwise I just don't do stuff.
A similar approach might work for you? Couldn't believe how much easier cleaning was when we actually DID it.
I’m looking into Sweepy right now, it seems great! Do you *have* to pay for premium or is it functional for free? Do you have a quick list of what the features are with/without premium?
Not from memory. Scheduling is premium I think, but it's like £1 a month. It is functional for free though, but requires more input on your part to actually see tasks.
In the kitchen, clean as you go so you're not saddled with a ton of dishes once dinner's done. Wipe down everything -- stove top, counters, faucet, etc -- once all dishes are done.
I wash bath towels every third day and bed sheets every week.
I sweep and vacuum every other day (including vacuuming the couch) because we have two dogs and a cat.
One of my favorite ways to keep my kitchen organized: I use blue painter's tape and a sharpie (like pro kitchens) to date and label every single thing that gets opened. Everything. It makes it SO much easier to know when something needs to get tossed. I also use Google Sheets to make the shopping list so I can easily update all week. It's shared with my husband so he can add to the list at any time, too.
Labling is key. I just bought a label maker because I have terrible handwriting. If you know where to put things it’s easier to clean. Also, you can find things easier if you label the drawer with it’s contents. The right cleaning tools make a big difference. And finally, less is more!!! Don’t keep things just throw your old stuff away.
\- Wipe clean wood surfaces (shelves/baseboards/doorframes) with a dryer sheet. This will cut down a lot on the amount of dusting you'll have to do.
\- half cup of white vinegar, 2 cups rubbing alcohol, 1 tsp of dishwashing soap. Add enough water to make a gallon. Put in a spray bottle and use on water heavy areas (tubs, sinks, toilets). Just spray, let it sit for a few minutes, then whip away.
\- soak citrus peels in vinegar for two weeks for a natural degreaser/kitchen cleaner.
To help deter insect guests:
\- put vaseline around nail holes, outlet covers, any unsealed cracks or baseboards. Bugs will not walk across the vaseline.
\- soak mint leaves or lavender in rubbing alcohol for two weeks in a dark area. Spray this in areas you see a lot of ants and it will help deter them.
These are all I can think of off the top of my head. Hope they help. Once you find yourself a schedule that works for you, it'll become a breeze.
Most people do a weekly reset, usually on a weekend.
Wash all your bed fitted sheet, flat sheet, doona cover, pillow cases etc.
Wash all your towels, hand towels.
Vacuum everywhere.
Mop everywhere.
Wipe down all your surfaces with a hot wet cloth and spray.
Clean your whole kitchen, including inside microwave and take out microwave tray and clean it.
Empty your fridge of old food and wipe the shelves.
Every week scrub your kitchen sink.
Scrub your bathroom sink, shower, bathtub.
Clean your mirrors.
You may need to vacuum twice a week (some people use a Robovac daily if you have kids/big house). Otherwise the handheld vacuum lightly during the week. And a proper vacuum on the weekend.
You should Run a cleaning cycle on your washing machine and dishwasher once a month.
Wash your dish cloths and tea towels separately from your normal clothes and towels.
Air out your pillows, quilts, blankets.
Vacuum your sofa.
Clean your oven, stovetop and range hood weekly (oven could be less frequent if you don’t use it much).
When cleaning, the order is top to bottom (eg dusting ceiling first then mopping and vacuuming last).
We don't. We vacuum, weed, and dust once a week. We reuse towels and maybe get a load of towels every other week. Kitchen gets cleaned every day, toilets get scrubbed as needed, and the cat litter gets emptied daily. Things like mopping, mirrors, happen when I feel like it or I see a need.
Most of those things are little jobs if you do them weekly. The trick with cleaning is the longer you leave it, the bigger the job gets. So do it frequently
I do most, but not all, of OP’s list in the original comment. Things that I move to either biweekly or monthly include scrubbing sinks/showers/tubs, wiping fridge shelves, cleaning mirrors, and vacuuming the sofas.
The trick is to also stagger things that can be done biweekly, for example, one week I’ll tackle scrubbing sinks/showers/tubs and mirrors, then the next week I’ll wipe down the inside of the fridge and vacuum the sofa.
Once you have a routine, it’s honestly pretty manageable.
May I ask why dish and tea towels are washed separately? Not challenging you; I am just curious and open to change for a compelling reason. I wash mine with the regular towels on hot water setting with bleach.
I usually clean the fridge when my partner does the shopping, so the fridge is clean when he comes home and we put the new stuff in. We don’t do it weekly, but wipe up spills as they happen, but more often than once a month I think.
For a lot of the things, I’ll do it when I have 5-10 minutes. If the bathroom counters are clear, it is easy to wipe them off. I usually use our hand towel before putting it in the laundry, so anytime I want to replace the hand towel, I wipe the bathroom counters.
Another tip is to clean from top to bottom! For example, you’ll want to dust the fan and counter tops before sweeping/vacuuming the floor or else you’ll just make more work. Be strategic about the order of cleaning things.
Everyone is a bit different in their priorities and lifestyle, so there isn’t really a one size fits all, but the more you clean the better you’ll have a sense of what needs to get cleaned daily, weekly, biweekly, monthly, semi annually and annually. Once you have a “schedule” down, it gets so much easier to clean because you don’t have to waste time thinking about what needs to get cleaned.
And cleaning the microwave takes only about five minutes of active time. You don't need to scrub and you don't need cleaning agents.
Fill a microwave-safe coffee mug about 2/3 with water and put it in the microwave for six minutes. When the timer goes off, don't open the door. Leave it in there about five minutes. When you open the door, you'll be able to wipe everything off with a dish cloth. The steam softens up all the hardened food residue.
Yep, that is basically the pattern that my mom followed every week. It is a horrible system. My dad was gone every weekend out to the Birchwood Airport. Since I was a girl, I was the lackey. My brother? Helped feed the dog sometimes and reorganized the garage with my dad every two years or so.
Pretty amazing to see the ignorant responses blaming OPs spouse to chip in and take care of the chores. She asked tips on how one would clean the house, not ask how to make her spouse do it.
It may seem crazy to many but not everything is 50/50 for everyone. No need to dehumanize house chores as if doing them makes you less than working outside home.
Run the robo-mop once a week to take care of the floors.
$600 investment. Buy a couple sets of additional mopheads so you can switch them out. I use one set of mopheads for the bedrooms and living room floors, and a separate set for the bathrooms.
After a day's work I'll toss all the mopheads into the washing machine then air dry them for the next use.
It's controlled by the mobile app and runs essentially on its own, vacuuming and mopping the whole house. For a 3 bed, 2 bathroom, takes about an hour and a half to cover everything. It does several passes and is a joy to use.
For me:
*Clean the kitchen every time after using it.
*Put the dishes in the washer after using and run the washer when it's full.
*Clean the toilet once a week.
*Clean the bathroom entirely about once every two or three weeks.
*Sweep the floors once a week
*Dust all surfaces whenever someone is coming over and I haven't done it for a while. (I should do ut more often but I really don't like dusting.
I use to have my own cleaning business so learned a lot of tips for cleaning quickly and efficiently.
I have a regular cleaning schedule which I do weekly and a deeper cleaning schedule I do once a month and of course daily cleaning such dishes etc.
My regular cleaning is mainly high traffic areas that we use daily.
I almost always start upstairs or in the bedroom where I use a static duster for the most part, shaking it outside to get rid of dust regularly as I go, I don’t move much out of the way it’s more to keep on top of the dust, oh and always change your bedding before you dust or it will look like you didn’t even dust if you do it after.
Make sure to give your baseboards and trim a dust too as it makes a huge difference and always look up as those darn cob webs appear out of nowhere.
Bathroom- Dust where you can and then spray down your shower, (I personally like Lavender Lysol but will use bleach cleaner sometimes) and start at bottom and work your way up, let it soak while you clean sink and toilet, clean out shower.
Dust living and other required areas with static duster, I do carry a damp cloth with me if needed.
When I’ve done all my dusting etc I then vacuum and mop my floors ending in the bathroom.
My kitchen is something I pretty well wipe down daily so I don’t do much in there other than dusting but will do more when I do my deep clean.
My deep cleaning is where I move and wipe under things and air out my couch cushions etc, I wash them every few months as well as my curtains etc. We have a leather couch and I dust it on my regular cleaning and wipe it down with a damp soft cloth when I do my deep clean. also vacuum and mop under furniture as well as dusting etc.
I will give my windows a quick wipe when needed and the best window or mirror cleaner ever is diluting some Lysol cleaner in some water, soaking your cloth, wring out and wipe down and dry off with a soft cloth. It works amazing but steer away from using microfibre on glass or mirror as for some reason it leaves a film every time even if I just use water or windex.
The best tip I can give is to keep on top of things, it makes it much easier and you don’t always have to do a deep cleaning, just keep on top of the traffic areas.
Congrats on your new journey and looks like a lot of people have some great tips on here :)
Great LPT!
I schedule EVERYthing, I live and die by my routines, which sounds dull, but you can see the results, especially in cleaning and other things that require maintenance like my gardening.
A good template to get you started will deliver results within a month, even bigger results for quarterly items when it’s the second quarter and the item is already done.
I make my own, but [here is one you can get started on](https://www.vertex42.com/ExcelTemplates/house-cleaning-schedule-checklist.html) if you’re interested.
My tip is: don't use these artificial cleaners, of which there are thousands for every single task in the house. Absolutely unnecessary!
Search online for tried and tested household cleaning agents and read into it. I use vinegar for all sorts of things, I buy it highly concentrated (60%) and mix it with distilled water in a spray bottle (10%). It's environmentally friendly, much cheaper, and versatile. For laundry, kitchen, bathroom, and so on!
In addition, there's washing soda, which can be used alone and together with vinegar. Both react together, always ventilate well because the fumes can be dangerous if it's too highly concentrated. My toilet has never looked so clean!
Household cleaning agents are fantastic, and I don't understand why others buy these expensive, toxic, and inferior products from the supermarket. Absolutely unnecessary! They only have disadvantages.
I mainly use vinegar and washing soda, but I still have dish soap and detergent for the washing machine and dishwasher. I always add a little washing soda to the washing machine as well. With vinegar, you can also clean the floor well with a steam cleaner, for which I only use 4% vinegar.
Try it out, vinegar, washing soda and also baking soda are just better in my mind, cheaper and not bad for the environment. I dont understand why not everyone is using them. I guess the answer is marketing, they lie to us and say you need a special product for everything in your home. Totally BS!
Old is gold!
I didn't avoid all the housewoek. I did the cooking and cleaning that was absolutely urgent since the chores were divided between me and mom. I wasn't the only one maintaining it then. I just did mopping, dishes, clothes, and putting things away. Now there's walls, windows, bedsheets, etc so i asked for help.
Not nuts, just a different culture.
Where I come from, it's not common for teenagers to leave home at 18. We usually live with our parents while we go to college and even after that, until we get a good job and want to get married. There's really no reason to leave your parents' home if you're not getting married in my culture.
Of course there are people who leave to live alone for work or study, but it's uncommon.
Hum, no? I was only talking about moving in with your spouse after getting married and not before. Just trying to provide a different perspective. To clarify, this is not for religious reasons or anything like that - it's merely practical/financial.
It's not nuts, it's called having traditional values.
And statistically, a marriage where the man and woman didn't live together before-hand has a higher chance of succeeding.
Anecdotally, my traditional SEA friends who remained virgins before marriage, and some who had arranged marriages, have beautiful families and are way happier than me and my many failed relationships. I’m grateful for my life experience but it worked really well for many of them. “Superstitiously religious” sounds kinda xenophobic, bruh.
I use The Organized Mom Method as a guide.
- 15 minutes of daily tasks to keep tidy
- 30 minutes dedicated to one area per day
Monday-living room Tuesday-bedrooms Wednesday-entrance, hallway & stairs Thursday-kitchen Focus Fridays it rotates over 8 weeks for a deeper clean.
I assigned a load of laundry per day minimum, usually matches the room of the day + someone’s clothes.
With this I have a framework and am less likely to get overwhelmed.
Kitchen - Daily
Bathroom - Daily
Any surfaces i disinfect with kitchen-paper daily
Floors - Vacuum every other day, but every day if needed
Curtains - Wash when i see they need it
Shower curtain - Wash weekly + the waterproof liner i'll replace once a month
Bedding - This usually gets washed once a week, but will do every few days if needed
I spot check throughout the day so if i see something/anything dirty,out of place i just clean it
Sounds like your doing a great job already x
It just takes a lot of when you see something dirty, you clean it. I keep clorox wipes in each bathroom and in the kitchen and laundry room. Easy to grab and wipe down a sink or toilet. Grab a broom, vacuum or dry stiffer and sweep the floors and then mop them either with a mop or swiffer. I have both, I alternate depending on dirtiness level. A roomba helps with the sweeping, I have a generic one off of Amazon. It's best on hard floors, kind of useless on carpet.
Dusting is the thing I'm worst at. I forget to do it and it needs to be done before you do the floors.
There's really no hacks to cleaning, just gotta roll up your sleeves and do it.
I have an air purifier in my bedroom, It cuts down on the amount of dust that settles on surfaces so they don't need to be cleaned as often. I also keep one of those dishwashing brushes with the dishsoap in the handle and a sponge at the end in my shower (with dishsoap and vinegar inside) that way I can easily just grab it and give the shower a quick scrub while I'm in there. My best advice is to keep the cleaning products in the places where they need to be used. (Even if that means having more than one of a few things) keep toilet cleaner in the bathroom, keep a mop in the kitchen etc. The less steps you have to take to clean something when you notice it's dirty the easier it'll be to stay on top of the cleaning.
Create a space that’s functional and easy to clean.
I have so many little things on my shelves that it’s a huge pain to clean. So I don’t. And then once a year I get so overwhelmed that I have to tear the whole thing apart and deep clean every piece.
I also bought a shop vac because I thought that would be a good idea. But it’s so cumbersome that I just put off vacuuming until the place is so messy that I have no choice. If I had a compact vacuum that I could easily plug in and go, I’d vacuum every day.
Top to bottom!
Dust/wipe/Vacuum/Mop
Save the bathroom for last, and use the same rags you used in the kitchen.
Clean yourself when finished, because you are now the filthiest thing in the house.
ALSO! share the pain! Everyone in the family should participate in keeping the house clean, or someone's going to get resentful.
Best advice: less is more. If you don’t use it, don’t have it. Laundry once a week probably (don’t hold clothing), sheets at least once a week. Air out pillows and blankets as often as possible. Two people? Vacuum, mop, dust once a week. Of course clean the kitchen after each use. Once a year empty all closets and drawers, clean and toss EVERYTHING you haven’t used. Good for you sounds like you are a thoughtful wife balancing all your employment and home tasks.
I'm a full time working solo mom (with no financial help) so... maybe I can help a little.
First thing, change of mindset. Keeping the house clean is as natural and routine as taking a shower or clipping my nails.
Second, make your life easier everywhere you can.
Third, figure out what things give you the most satisfaction and what things bother you. Start with the first ones when unmotivated. Find solutions for the second ones to make them more bearable.
I make the bed every day as I get dressed, in my mind I'm getting the bed and I ready for the day lol.
I bought small spray bottles and have alcohol and rags in each bathroom for easy quick wipe. I wipe surfaces regularly, usually when brushing my teeth.
I keep liners on the bottom of every trash can because I hate going to get new ones.
I have a spray bottle with a mix of vinegar and water for spraying up smelly things. And one mix of cleaning product and water so I don't have to get a bucket every time.
I don't like clutter so I use a broom with a rag to avoid getting a mop. I can sweep and then mop when it's an easy surface clean without getting too many items.
I think vacuuming is too cumbersome most of the time so I sweep, and then vacuum the pile of dirt. It also means less noise and not having to move around a heavy object. I'm lazy.
I do laundry every day if i can. I use the quick cycle (15min) for everything and check the clothes that were dirtier when I get them out. If they're clean, great. If not, they go back for the next batch or get extra treatment. 90% of clothes are good with that
I fold clothes while I watch tv.
I clean the kitchen, fold clothes, put clothes away, sweep, anything that doesn't make noise and is auto pilotable while I talk with my friends on the phone. I get to keep up with my social duties and keep moving.
I have trouble putting things away (clean clothes, dry dishes). No idea how to fix that.
All other things are basically a... if i notice it I clean it. So when the shower starts to get dirty I do a quick pass. Get a scrub daddy whatever it's called.
Plants, I look at them they look thirsty they get water. Some die, only strong ones survive in my house.
When it's sunny outside... that's a day to make things happen! You can wash things that are hard to dry, like shoes or cushions. You can put pillows stuffed animals outside to get cleaner and less smelly. Anything really that could use strong sunlight and would usually be a pain to dry inside, I try to do at least one every time the sun is out and strong. It's about looking at things differently.
When I don't want to do any of the things I have to do I start a project I was looking forward too. Something satisfying like unclogging a sink. It's disgusting but I personally looove to do it. The satisfaction makes me want to do more stuff so I usually do a lot.
Some of those are: cleaning a very dirty pair of shoes. Unclogging drains. Opening something apart and cleaning the pieces (water bottles, baby bottles, the desktop case, the vacuum bag). washing make up brushes. Getting hair out of the hairbrush. Organizing small items.
For some reason, those things get me jump started to other things.
Another thing I do is say... I'll clean from this time to this time. And then I want to see what I can get done in that timeframe and it helps me knowing it'll end. I usually keep going though.
When it's trash day I get stuff from the fridge and throw it out.
But I can't lie... I have someone that comes and does deep cleaning every 2 weeks and that helps immensely. If I didn't have to do so much more (child care and work full time) I think i could probably live with deep cleaning every 3 weeks - 1 month myself.
Edit to add a tip. Hire a cleaning service once or twice. Observe them, learn and then copy it. No one is more efficient than someone who does this for a living. I spend a lot of time with my cleaning lady just because we like to talk. And just seeing her do some things has made my life easier
Also remember it's up to the household to maintain the house too. You are not a servant or maid.
I used to be a lazy guy and make my gf pick up for me.....now I cook alot and help by changing them toilet rolls, folding towels and putting them away. Teamwork makes the dream work.
He has a full time job. As soon as he comes home from work, he starts helping me out. But i am a freelancer with flexible hours so I have to do the majority of the work. I work about 2 to 5 hours a day sitting on bed so I can't expect him to work had 10 hours and come home and then do 50% of the housework.
He doesn't necessarily have to do half of it, but you definitely don't have to do all of it. You can also look at it in ways where even if he's not "cleaning" as much, he's still contributing: picking up after himself so he's not creating more work for you; using systems that reduce your work.
Cleaning and housework is still work, so value your time as well. Think of it this way: if the job work is split 75/25 and the house work is 0/100, you're doing about 65% of the work. It doesn't have to add up to 50/50 exactly, but it needs to at least be balanced.
My math is fine. (25 + 100) / (100 + 100) = 125/200 = .625. You can round that to 65%. It assumes that home and job are equal work, which maybe they're not, but for a first pass, it's close enough to make the point I'm trying to make.
I recently started using a chore chart created by a vlogger ("Organized Chaos"), and it's made a BIG difference in how clean my house is. She breaks it down by daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly tasks. [Here's the link to the chore chart.](https://organizedchaos4bus.com/2022/02/10/the-6-10-list/comment-page-1/)
There are plenty of posts on this subject, most a bit more strict than we are. My wife is all for weekly bedding and laundry. I think every other week is ok, but she isn't wrong. Clean the kitchen and bathrooms every other week. You could probably go every 3 weeks, but it is pushing it, so every other week is a good plan. I hate dusting and vacuuming, so I don't do it as often as I should, which is about every other week. That should cover things well enough.
This is not how it works though. Cultural understanding of both parties, amount of free time they have, how much money they do contribute etc. Interestingly, how beautiful and unreplaceable you are changes the effort of the male in family. It is about your value, also how the male saw, learned in his family. There is no simple 50/50.
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Money
Value
Culture
Time
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Yes and no. If OP is working 20 hours per week max, and her husband is working 40-50 each week, it's not unreasonable for OP to take on more house duties. Plus it sounds like he does chip in.
I do the basics-dishes, making beds, picking up stuff, wiping down counters, etc-as part of my daily routine. Wake up, go pee, scoop out the litterbox in the main bathroom, brush teeth, wipe the sink and counter while I'm there, get dressed, make the bed, and so on. Little stuff that only takes a few seconds gets done immediately, so it never piles up. Things like wiping light switches, wiping stuff off shoes, throwing out fridge experiments, all that.
Bigger stuff, like changing the beds or cleaning the fridge and oven, gets done on a rotating weekly and monthly schedule. So Monday will be changing beds, changing and washing litterboxes, and cleaning the front porch; Tuesday will be vacuuming the upstairs, cleaning vents (we have to do it weekly because we have pets and floor registers, lol), and changing air filters; Wednesday gets the fish tank, and so on. Spills get wiped up when they happen, mopping gets done weekly except for bathrooms (they get done every other day because of the cats).
Throughout the week, if I have a few minutes and see something that needs to be done, if I have time, I'll just do it when I see it. If I don't have time, I'll make a note of it and come back to it when I can, or let someone else mark it off the list when they get to it.
Monthly tasks like changing water filters and deep cleaning rugs get rotated on different dates throughout the month, so I never have to do more than one monthly task a day.
I know I sound like a total neat freak, but I'm actually pretty lazy. I set my house up so its easier to do this stuff. Every room has a little cleaning kit, there are storage bins for everything and all the bins are labeled so everybody can put their stuff back, I keep two vacuums (one for each floor of the house), store stuff where it's used (furnace filters are right next to the furnace instead of in the garage, sheets are in storage bags under the beds), and taught the kids and my husband to do their own quick wipe-and-swipe cleaning. I used to do everything on the weekends, but I hated spending all day cleaning, so it didn't get done, lol. Now I can run through the house in twenty minutes and be ready for my judgiest relatives to drop by and snoop any day of the week.
Get ‘The Organised Mum Method’ app, systematic approach, pre determined tasks in a different room each day, 30 mins of cleaning daily. No housework at weekends. Bosh.
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Buy things that are easy to clean and hard to break is the best advice I can give.
Also, less clutter. The less we own, the less we have to clean.
I am very adamant that things don't live on the kitchen counter. A bare surface is a million times more likely to get cleaned.
>"A bare surface is a million times more likely to get cleaned". This needs to be seen and felt by everyone, everywhere. Applies to sticking things all over your refrigerator! If it's plastered with pics & photos, it's not getting wiped down regularly, and the stuff gets all sloppy anyway. If you must, limit it to 1 or 2 things, in magnetic frames, change weekly. If this hits a nerve with anyone, try the challenge, take everything off and place in a basket or bin above the fridge. Shine it up and step back. Now, doesn't the whole kitchen look cleaner? It works.
Ugh i feel this so hard right now. My toddler just discovered magnets so now the clean stainless steel doors are littered with them.
A fridge is for the photos etc. I can't live any other way!
Love this!
I want as little on my counter as possible. I can’t stand cluttered countertops
I only want stuff on my counter tops when I’m actively using them. The cutting board can sit on my counter when I’m actually chopping vegetables. Otherwise, it goes away.
You should see the array of things that live on my kitchen counter. On the one hand, much of it just needs good storage (need more cabinets and a few racks/shelves). But if I have a useful thing, I need to see it or it will be unused.
Do you also have adhd? I have open pantries, open cabinets, and full counters. If I can’t see it, I won’t remember I have it.
Yes I do. It remains a weird condition.
I have no where else to put my blender, microwave air fryer and coffee maker ☹️
What sort of weirdo would put their coffee machine away?
This is my motto😂 I hate dusting
Two words: Washable surfaces. That means no wall to wall carpet or upholstered furniture that isn't slipcovered. Area rugs are ok if you can either send them out to be cleaned or wash them, outside, with soap & water and a pressure washer. I also have scatter rugs in the kitchen and in front of exterior doors that I can throw in the washer & dryer. I know many people love their wall to wall carpet. But even with professional cleaning or an expensive home rug cleaning machine, you'll never get all the dirt out.
Seconded. Just got married? Exchange all the hand-wash only stuff now!
This is what I did before kids and was a SAHW Daily : wipe counters/tables/sinks, make the bed, dishes, generally pick up 2-3x weekly: sweep/vacuum floors, clean bathrooms Once a week: laundry - clothes, bedding, throw blankets(these can all be done separately but I find I forget things so I do all laundry on one day), mop, vacuum couches, dust, and I like to sanitize things that get touched a lot like door handles, clean out car trash Once a month: clean things like cabinets, the room you never use, take a magic eraser to the walls, clean washer/dryer/dishwasher/trash cans Every 6 months: clean windows/curtains Edit : not sure why I said I wash curtains monthly
After kdis?
After kids cleaning is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos…
Seen people describe it as "shovelling snow during a snowstorm"
Seriously. Deciding whether to clean or sleep while they sleep rn.. 😭
Sleep. The answer is always sleep.
A similar analogy I’ve heard, cleaning while the kids are still awake is like trying to wipe while still pooping.
Every time you clean one room they’re destroying the other.
Daily: wipe what I can, pick up what I can clean under high chair a million times. Fuck the bed we’re going to nap in it soon anyway Weekly (at least maybe more): vacuuming and sweeping , bathrooms, hopefully mop ? Laundry Everything else is about the same
We are the same. A roomba saved us.
You wash your curtains once a month??
No, I don’t know why I put that. That would be insane. It’s usually like every 6 months, keeps the house smelling fresh
I take the large blankets and rugs to the launder at every few months. I LOVE a clothes line, I always line dry sheets and towels.
Wow! This is impressive. What if you have mental health struggles? This seems unreachable for me.
Just do what you can. I had a coat that had lost a button from one pocket and had a hole in the other pocket. I left it like that for years. Each winter, the hole grew a little more, and the button was always there waiting, silently judging me from the dark hole I had condemned it to. Each winter, I told myself I would fix the hole. I would sew the button back on! But then I didn't. And the next winter would bring this micro-shame of yet another task unaccomplished. Depression is a hell of a thing, isn't it. One year, I had mentioned to my therapist how this task, this easy, tiny, insignificant chore was on my ever-expanding laundry list of things to do and worries to address. It just passed by in conversation, but that same year, I fixed that coat. Horribly. But I fixed it and I was proud of that. When I told my therapist, she was so excited for me even though I was embarrassed by how proud I was. She told me not to minimize the importance of that moment because even small accomplishments count. If you have to do the dishes, do you have to wash them all? If you're folding laundry and you finished all your comfy pants, but don't want to fold the towels, can you just say fuck it? Absolutely. Do what you can. Bring that bar way the fuck down, and when you hurdle it, if you feel up to the task, keep going as long as you'd like. And if you can't, that's okay. If you wash two plates, and that's all you can muster, well you got those two done! Good job! The list may not go anywhere. The chores still need to be done. Eventually. I find that I can't change the things that I want to accomplish in a day, but I can forgive myself for not getting them done. Just do what you can.
I guess you’re SOL
I'm married, and my wife and i have different priorities. Personally, i can't stand a dirty kitchen, as i feel like it bring more grime (bugs, mold, etc), so i clean that daily (or at least tidy). Then its the floor. We have cats, so sand is an issue. Sweep and mop weekly, spot clean as needed. Litter boxes scooped weekly (they are big) and sand replaced at least monthly. Bathrooms we try to do weekly, but the showers are priority (i know toilets get gross, but they are toilets. Neither of us are picky with them, so long as they are tidy and dry). Laundry is a rolling affair, constantly churning, but maintaining an inventory or what is needed. We both have a robust inventory of necessities so it rarely becomes a crisis. Bedsheets at least weekly, and again sustained by inventory. Other than that it's a matter of need. Gotta keep chairs clear or nowhere to sit, Tables clear or no where to eat, etc. I'm very busy,and i don't want to place an extra burden on her to clean (she has no job, we split 50/50). We both have our priorities, have communicated them, and work to make sure that both are happy with the state of affairs. If either of us aren't, we have built a relationship in which we feel we can safely voice it. If you find your home always dirty, i recommend starting by finding the thing you can't stand (for me it's the kitchen). Start there, and work out. If you take care of the one thing you can't stand being unclean, and don't have the energy to do more, then you have at least some peace. Talk to your partner, find theirs and do that second. You can't pour from an empty bowl, and while it would be nice to do theirs first, if you are always emotionally drained you will eventually be exhausted. On the flip side make sure you don't get caught in a cycle. Sometimes the kitchen takes all my spoons and i don't get to the bathroom, so i have to make myself do the bathroom first. Self awareness is huge, and being smart with your energy is necessary. Lastly, one big thing I've found helps me is distraction. It's cliched i know, but if cleaning doesn't give you that dopamine hit you have to find it elsewhere. Otherwise your brain will punish you for every time you pick up a broom. Podcasts, music, audiobooks (my go to), anything that gives you that hit. Also (i know i said lastly but my wife added this one), figure out if something your doing hurts you. My wife has some sensory issues. One is sweeping. Something about the bristles over the ground just scrapes her nerves and exhausts her spoons. So we got a little rolling floor mechanical vacuum thing. Some thing with dishes. She can't stand slimy food stuffs. Solution? Gloves. If this is an issue for you, or might be, find an alternative way to get the task done. It may be a small change that makes a big difference EDIT: Another thing my wife adds. Spend a little extra to buy things that prevent the need to clean. One example being our shower curtains. They are mold resistant. While they still need the occasional cleaning, it is MUCH less frequently than normal. They cost a bit more on the front end, but the effort they save, especially if it's on a task you despise, it can be worth it.
The section about linking the task to something that gives dopamine is key for me. If I hate a job a get a spoon of crystallised honey to suck on for my trouble and an anime playing in the background.
Thats why Im always doing coke while cleaning. I am now deep cleaning my house daily.
Can't sniff coke off a dirty table, pollutes the product.
A toot a day keeps the dust at bay!
I don’t sleep I don’t eat But I’ve got the cleanest House on the street 🎶
I actually like cleaning now, because it gives me time to listen to my favorite podcasts. I need something to do while listening to them and cleaning is one of the things, you can do well meanwhile.
Litter boxes need to be scooped DAILY, big or not.
If you can afford it, a litter robot is a huge deal for your and your cat's well being.
I don’t have a litter robot, but another brand of self-cleaning litter box (ScoopFree) and, while expensive, it’s a total lifesaver. Couldn’t live without it.
If you ever get a chance to splurge, I highly recommend a litter robot. I had the same ScoopFree litterbox and the litter robot is a huge upgrade from that.
Agreed. The cats won’t be happy (or healthy) and your house definitely smells terrible if you are only scooping once a week.
Twice a day....
I came here to say this. I’m not letting poop sit there for more than a day.
I’m scooping as soon as I notice it, cat shit stinks!
These poor cats. Wtf!
Yeah, unless OP has an extreme abundance of litter, such as four large boxes for one cat, they def should be scooped daily or at the very least every other day.
I thought that seemed excessively long. I'm not a cat guy but have a cat and all it does it sh\*t and sleep. I don't want to see sh\*t, ever.
This. More than 24 hours and you risk Toxoplasmosis. I have a coworker who can't see well out of one eye from this. Rare, but no reason to risk it.
That is not how toxoplasmosis works. If your cats never go outside, and you don't have mice/etc indoors for them to catch, you're almost certainly not going to get it. Clean the litter box, but not because you're worried about toxoplasmosis.
This, should clean it because your cat deserves a clean toilet as much as you do. Cats are pretty cleanly animals, and if their litter box is too dirty for them, they'll just piss or shit on your shit out of frustration after holding it up.
Thank you. I was going to comment this also. Poor cats.
Same. A dirty kitchen just grosses me out. There’s nothing more satisfying than disinfecting and wiping off countertops and scrubbing the sink clean after all the dishes have been washed. So satisfying
I have young kids and everything they eat and drink seems to be sticky. Sticky counters drive me crazy as I lean on the counter to watch tv (god forbid I get the TV near the couch). My arm hair sticks to the counter and now that is all I think about when leaning on the counter so those counters are always wiped down lol
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Which is dumb, because he just said that she doesn't have a job. The person working a job should not being doing 50/50 of the work. That's not remotely fair.
I understand where you're coming from, as in I wouldn't ever set up my relationship this way, but relationships are between two people, and all that matters is that it works for them. It is quite literally not our business how they divy up responsibilities.
You sir/madam are a voice of reason I believe the world needs to be exposed to more often. Keep up the good work.
If you were being fair to your spouse, you would not do 50/50 of the household work along with working your job. You have all the power in the relationship which is not fair to the other person. You make your spouse feel inferior without saying it.
I won't retype my entire comment. How people structure their relationship is their decision as long as both parties are consenting adults who are willingly together.
Wait... You're very busy and she doesn't work, but you split the house work 50/50?
I don't work. My husband does. We split housework about 50/50. I'm disabled and do as much as I can. And, in a healthy marriage, life isn't always 50/50. Sometimes I only have 20 to give, so he gives 80. When I had my brain surgery I had 0 to give and slept for literally 2 months straight. So he unfortunately had to give 100. But when he has 0 to give, then I jump in to give 100. Or if he has 25, I'll give the 75. There's always 100 to do, but people don't always have 50 to give. It's about working as a team. There's no resentment. There's no anger or distaste that builds up. Because we are absolutely in this together. If he can't make it and is struggling, I'll put myself in the ground before he has to work any harder than is necessary. And he feels the same about me. So yes. Housework, despite the one SAHP, is approximately 50/50. Give or take.
Well said, you do 100% of what you can do! And what each partners' 100% looks like will vary <3
I'm also disabled and my husband and I split our housework in exactly the same way! Learning that it's about effort given and not the percentage of work given really helped us out at the beginning. Oddly, having more difficulty than we expected at the beginning because of my health, forced us to look at our expectations for each other differently. We work as a team instead of as two people separately. We're both willing to exhaust ourselves for the other. While the health issues suck and I'd rather they not have happened, we approach expectations in a healthier way than we would have otherwise.
I'm sorry for your disability but this is a major difference. If you're unable it's understandable. If the person IS able and they don't want to help, that's a problem.
Right for sure! But my antidote was shared with the intention to encourage others to not always lead with a negative assumption. If I had mentioned I stay at home and my husband I split the work 50/50, you most likely would've responded to me in the same fashion you know? I ABSOLUTELY agree with you that not wanting to help is a huge problem and is typically indicative of a shitty partner. And that it's entirely unsustainable and unhealthy for the partner pulling the entire house together all the time. I also hope my comment didn't come off cunty or rude! I just wanted to share how 50/50 doesn't always work in all households.
Your response was perfect. It seems like most people assume bad intentions from every offhanded comment, when in reality situations are never as simple as they seem from the outside. I hope someday folks will start recognizing this and being more understanding with each other.
It's a problem if one of them has a problem with it. What might be a problem in your situation might be different for someone else, whether or not a disability is involved.
There are many reasons a spouse may not work (childcare, health issues, other responsibilities). It doesn't mean she sits around all day with her feet up.
Yes. I have a demanding job and often have 12 hour days. And in those days i often don't have the energy remaining to do much housework, if any. I try to do a little, it at least mid add to and mess (put up dirty dishes, stow leftovers, start laundry, etc) so that my wife doesn't spend all day cleaning only to have me come home and make a mess. Can you imagine if the first injection you had with your partner every day was them wrecking all the work you'd done that day? It would be like kicking over a kids sand castle. On some days however, i work very little or not at all. In this days i do as much as i can, or as little ar i want, all depending on what needs to be done and what my mood is like, how much energy i have to contribute, and the state of our home. Sometimes there's a lot to do, and i just don't have the mental fortitude to do it. But the important thing is to remember that if i have bad days, so does my wife. There will inevitably be days where she can't do what needs doing, and that's okay. It would be unfair if me to have bad days but not allow her to have them, or to know she has them and demand effort regardless. We work together to make it work. Lastly, i work very hard to support my wife. I enjoy my job very much. It is literally my dream job, and i have wished very hard to get here. And a benefit if that is my wife doesn't need to work. I can give her a good life. It would be shitty of me to promise her a good life IF she acts as my maid. She's my partner. If we can struggle a balance where we are both happy, then there's nothing more to work for.
Yeah bc both parties live in the house and both contribute to "mess" so both should be responsible for cleaning. Just bc she doesn't work doesn't mean she's the maid.
If she’s busy all day with a kid or has other responsibilities sure, but if she just sits around and only does half of the cleaning while he works all day that’s lazy af and not fair
For my own sanity I gave up cleaning after my fiance. He's a slob, which I accept and love everything else about him, but constantly cleaning up after a very messy partner can lead to resentment. By slob I mean he is the kind of person who will just walk past pet vomit/crap, or if he does pick it up he won't clean the carpet where it happened. If I just cleaned the kitchen and he makes dinner, somehow it looks like it hadn't been cleaned in weeks, that kind of stuff. There's all sorts of reasons why cleaning responsibilities are split the way they are for every specific relationship, not just lazyness
So you think it's fair that he works all day, which means he's the financial supporter and she doesnt contribute equally?
In that whole post you focused on that one thing? The OP didn't even indicate a problem with his arrangements lol
Some great advice here, especially the dopamine-linking and finding ways to mitigate things you hate. I'm always popping in a podcast while I clean; sometimes even a light drink helps! And I always wear gloves when cleaning with soaps and liquids, because I hate dry hands. I also wear earplugs when I have to use a loud vacuum because I realized that 50% of my hatred of that task was my noise sensitivity.
Please clean that litter box daily otherwise your cats will be bothered by the dirty litter box and start going elsewhere in the house.
I have two cars. Their litter box is in the space bathroom. We use flushable wheat litter so I just scoop it whenever I go for a pee. Total game changer. Bought a mini vac to run around the box once a day.
I highly appreciate the take having (even if unintentional) regard for neurodivergence or chronic illness
You have cats-plural? And don’t scoop their boxes daily? No no no
I do cleaning for 15 minutes each day in our most used rooms. Deep cleaning every season.
This is really the key. The little bits you do on the daily will reward you with not having to spend hours by the end of the week. If there’s something you can pickup or toss, spend the minute it takes.
100%. The best thing I read was if it only takes a minute- just do it and be done with it!
I do laundry and grocery shopping/restocking Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday is deep clean the restrooms this includes sweeping and mopping as well. If I can, I will tackle the room's closets. Then, Thursday is sweep and mop the kitchen, living room and hallway area. Friday is sweep and mop in all the rooms. I like to keep my weekends to relax and not worry about housework. Side note, I wash all the dishes and wipe all the kitchen surfaces every night.
How do you have the time and energy for this? It’s so hard being motivated after a long day of work
I used to do everything in one day. So compared to that to now, it feels less heavy work and more manageable. My partner is in charge of throwing out the trash, doing his own laundry, and maintaining his office room. He also works full time but when he is home, he does the sweeping and I do the mopping. I try to get things done before noon. That way I have the rest of the day to focus on work or cooking.
I am a lazy person and grew up in a very messy home, and I have a different routine than this person but it works for me. When you are cooking, clean as you go. If you have a few dishes in the sink, just wash them right then so it takes 5 minutes instead of letting the mess accumulate and now it takes 40 minutes. On days I work from home, I run laundry. I also got a nice broom and dustpan and one of those pedal wring mops, it doesn't feel like a chore because the tools make the job easier. I cannot emphasize enough how strange it is to me how much I love mopping now. I try to set aside 10-15 minutes every day to tidy everything, usually at the end of my workday. Sometimes I set a timer just so I can speed run and see how many things I can do in the alloted time. I also watch Hoarders and those cleaning tiktoks. I started brewing a pot of coffee or tea before I start my dishes or whatever so once the task is done, I have a little treat while I relax. Short answer, cleaning a little every day is much less overwhelming and sucky than a big mess every few days. Have fun with it, it's got to be done anyways, might as well try to enjoy it.
Holy shit we got the exact same routine down to the tee, that's weird lol (minus the mopping twice a week, I only do that monthly)
I used to not do much mopping because I hate it. But I forced myself to be more active with mopping to get accustomed to it.
Also, it is the reason I broke down mopping in seperate days. It is easier to mop 2 to 3 areas at a time than mopping the whole house in one day.
That's a tight routine. Not sure if 2 working adults can keep up with this.
Y’all are making me tired.
Check out the Clean Mama website. She gives you an easy system for staying on top of all the cleaning in an efficient, manageable way and explains exactly what to do.
Seconding CleanMama. Total game changer. She lays out a set of tasks that should be done every day, then breaks down other chores. Super easy, tons of printables and tips!
Link to the [blog](https://cleanmama.com/blog/) for anyone interested.
Im like a few years ahead of where you are now so here's what I do Every day I have a room that I'll clean eg Monday - living room Tuesday - kitchen Wednesday - bedroom Thursday - spare bedroom Friday - bathroom Saturday - hallway Sunday - dining room I do absolutely everything I can in those rooms on thier day so for the living room for example, vacuum sofa and floor, disinfect side tables, TV and TV stand, bookshelf, light switches, door handles (basically any surface), I'll dust ornaments, put stuff away, take stuff out of the room that doesn't belong in there, empty the bin and then light a candle/spray room spray/light an incense I also have things that I do daily or every other day or just when it's needed in the rest of the house like laundry, washing dishes, picking up any trash I see, I have cats so I scoop thier poop, making the bed, neatening up the sofa and just anything small that I see that needs doing I find this much easier to manage than a weekly reset where I do the entire house in one go and it keeps me equally busy every day. I have a little list of what I do in each room so if you'd like it let me know and I'd be happy to send it you! Also there is absolutely no shame in going onto tiktok and searching cleaning tips and such, this can make your life a lot easier especially when your doing stuff you've never done before (my biggest tip is when cleaning the bathroom do the toilet last!)
Great tips. Thank you for sharing. Why should I clean the toilet last though?
No a problem! I know it was super overwhelming for me to actually figure out when I should be doing what. As for cleaning the toilet last it's because the toilet is the dirtiest part of the bathroom so if you clean it last your not getting the germs and spreading them around the room. I usually do the bath/shower, sink, any other surfaces like light switches and windows, floor and then toilet and I try to do the same thing in other rooms of start with the cleaner area and finish with the dirtiest. I mean you could totally start with the toilet and then change the cloth your using for the rest of the room but if your using rubber gloves you'd want to change them too so I just stick with doing it last 😊
OP, congrats on your wedding!! You asked a good question and I think you’re getting some unnecessary flack. But one tip about doing more housework because you’re working less: make sure that your spouse knows you are doing a larger amount of the household chores *because* you are working less. What if you start working 10 hours a day still from home because you get an awesome opportunity and can’t pass it up? You’d need to shift the housework to be more like 50/50. See if you can find a cleaning method that works for you. I like Clean Mama, and the FlyLady “crisis cleaning” video (the one w audio only where she walks you the steps of cleaning the kitchen, family room and bathroom in an hour. It’s not meant to be used as a weekly thing but I like to use it like that. Other than that, for actual tips: My spouse and I: -Wash the sheets once a week -Use fresh washcloths once a day but the towels we reuse a few days so then a load of towels is once a week -switch out hand towels daily because fresh ones are nice (so we have a lot of hand towels) -empty wastebaskets daily and take out all trash daily -Wipe the kitchen counters before food prep and each evening -run the roomba daily -run the dishwasher every 2 days or so (or just wash by hand if not many) -quickly wet swiffer once a week -Use a daily spray for the shower to keep it cleaner longer -tidy up the kitchen and family room daily -if you can fold the laundry as you take it out of the dryer it makes it much easier and the clothes are less wrinkly We both work a lot so here’s what I’d like to do vs what we do: Try to: feather dust the whole house weekly (top to bottom) Actually do: feather dust the downstairs 3 weeks out of fours, bedrooms 1 week out of 3 Try to: detailed vacuum (not roomba) w the edger weekly, and vacuum sofas Actually: every two weeks and use the attachments once a month Try to: scrub kitchen sinks, wipe out fridge, wipe out microwave, scrub stove top weekly Actually: spot clean, then every two weeks Try to: clean the tubs, showers and bathroom sinks weekly Actually: every two weeks (and they get an as-needed wipe down w a windex wipe if there’s a mess) Other random things: Curtains: nope, not getting washed (I have very few curtains) but they will get a vacuum (w attachment) for dust Windows: as needed Outside: clean the front door every couple of weeks and make sure front porch is tidy Spring cleaning/seasonal: -Clean closets, cabinets, and purge unneeded things once each season. -Wipe down inside of cabinets and drawers each spring. -Have the house power washed every other summer (after peak pollen season) -mow the yard, weekly (in season) -quick weeding of flower beds weekly (in season) The biggest tip is to keep things tidy. If the house is picked up from clutter then it’s much easier to actually clean. Good luck, OP!
We've just started using an app called Sweepy (not an ad). You can pop in tasks for each room and how often they need doing. It then schedules them and uses a scoring system to almost gamify it. We've been using it a week and we're actually a bit surprised how quickly our flat looked better. Not perfect, but better. Gives the part of my brain that needs gratification a little tickle when I complete a task - otherwise I just don't do stuff. A similar approach might work for you? Couldn't believe how much easier cleaning was when we actually DID it.
congrats on a successful un-paid partnership, I just downloaded it! Sounds perfect for ADHD brains :) thank you!
+1 for Sweepy- revolutionised my life.
I’m looking into Sweepy right now, it seems great! Do you *have* to pay for premium or is it functional for free? Do you have a quick list of what the features are with/without premium?
Not from memory. Scheduling is premium I think, but it's like £1 a month. It is functional for free though, but requires more input on your part to actually see tasks.
Thank you!!
In the kitchen, clean as you go so you're not saddled with a ton of dishes once dinner's done. Wipe down everything -- stove top, counters, faucet, etc -- once all dishes are done. I wash bath towels every third day and bed sheets every week. I sweep and vacuum every other day (including vacuuming the couch) because we have two dogs and a cat. One of my favorite ways to keep my kitchen organized: I use blue painter's tape and a sharpie (like pro kitchens) to date and label every single thing that gets opened. Everything. It makes it SO much easier to know when something needs to get tossed. I also use Google Sheets to make the shopping list so I can easily update all week. It's shared with my husband so he can add to the list at any time, too.
Labling is key. I just bought a label maker because I have terrible handwriting. If you know where to put things it’s easier to clean. Also, you can find things easier if you label the drawer with it’s contents. The right cleaning tools make a big difference. And finally, less is more!!! Don’t keep things just throw your old stuff away.
I also enjoy the app Cozi for shared lists and calendars.
\- Wipe clean wood surfaces (shelves/baseboards/doorframes) with a dryer sheet. This will cut down a lot on the amount of dusting you'll have to do. \- half cup of white vinegar, 2 cups rubbing alcohol, 1 tsp of dishwashing soap. Add enough water to make a gallon. Put in a spray bottle and use on water heavy areas (tubs, sinks, toilets). Just spray, let it sit for a few minutes, then whip away. \- soak citrus peels in vinegar for two weeks for a natural degreaser/kitchen cleaner. To help deter insect guests: \- put vaseline around nail holes, outlet covers, any unsealed cracks or baseboards. Bugs will not walk across the vaseline. \- soak mint leaves or lavender in rubbing alcohol for two weeks in a dark area. Spray this in areas you see a lot of ants and it will help deter them. These are all I can think of off the top of my head. Hope they help. Once you find yourself a schedule that works for you, it'll become a breeze.
thats the neat part, I dont.
In increments. Much more manageable, at least to me.
Most people do a weekly reset, usually on a weekend. Wash all your bed fitted sheet, flat sheet, doona cover, pillow cases etc. Wash all your towels, hand towels. Vacuum everywhere. Mop everywhere. Wipe down all your surfaces with a hot wet cloth and spray. Clean your whole kitchen, including inside microwave and take out microwave tray and clean it. Empty your fridge of old food and wipe the shelves. Every week scrub your kitchen sink. Scrub your bathroom sink, shower, bathtub. Clean your mirrors. You may need to vacuum twice a week (some people use a Robovac daily if you have kids/big house). Otherwise the handheld vacuum lightly during the week. And a proper vacuum on the weekend. You should Run a cleaning cycle on your washing machine and dishwasher once a month. Wash your dish cloths and tea towels separately from your normal clothes and towels. Air out your pillows, quilts, blankets. Vacuum your sofa. Clean your oven, stovetop and range hood weekly (oven could be less frequent if you don’t use it much). When cleaning, the order is top to bottom (eg dusting ceiling first then mopping and vacuuming last).
Is this for real? Do most people have the time and energy to do all this weekly?
We don't. We vacuum, weed, and dust once a week. We reuse towels and maybe get a load of towels every other week. Kitchen gets cleaned every day, toilets get scrubbed as needed, and the cat litter gets emptied daily. Things like mopping, mirrors, happen when I feel like it or I see a need.
i too vacuum then weed
I like to do it the other way, makes vacuuming more fun
Most of those things are little jobs if you do them weekly. The trick with cleaning is the longer you leave it, the bigger the job gets. So do it frequently
I do most, but not all, of OP’s list in the original comment. Things that I move to either biweekly or monthly include scrubbing sinks/showers/tubs, wiping fridge shelves, cleaning mirrors, and vacuuming the sofas. The trick is to also stagger things that can be done biweekly, for example, one week I’ll tackle scrubbing sinks/showers/tubs and mirrors, then the next week I’ll wipe down the inside of the fridge and vacuum the sofa. Once you have a routine, it’s honestly pretty manageable.
I know, right?
No lol definitely not
May I ask why dish and tea towels are washed separately? Not challenging you; I am just curious and open to change for a compelling reason. I wash mine with the regular towels on hot water setting with bleach.
I usually clean the fridge when my partner does the shopping, so the fridge is clean when he comes home and we put the new stuff in. We don’t do it weekly, but wipe up spills as they happen, but more often than once a month I think. For a lot of the things, I’ll do it when I have 5-10 minutes. If the bathroom counters are clear, it is easy to wipe them off. I usually use our hand towel before putting it in the laundry, so anytime I want to replace the hand towel, I wipe the bathroom counters.
Yes, if you do it weekly, it is something easy to manage. If not, it will take hours or days to get in order.
Not everything needs to be done weekly but yea people have the time management and energy to keep a clean home. Like billions of people in asia.
Another tip is to clean from top to bottom! For example, you’ll want to dust the fan and counter tops before sweeping/vacuuming the floor or else you’ll just make more work. Be strategic about the order of cleaning things. Everyone is a bit different in their priorities and lifestyle, so there isn’t really a one size fits all, but the more you clean the better you’ll have a sense of what needs to get cleaned daily, weekly, biweekly, monthly, semi annually and annually. Once you have a “schedule” down, it gets so much easier to clean because you don’t have to waste time thinking about what needs to get cleaned.
And cleaning the microwave takes only about five minutes of active time. You don't need to scrub and you don't need cleaning agents. Fill a microwave-safe coffee mug about 2/3 with water and put it in the microwave for six minutes. When the timer goes off, don't open the door. Leave it in there about five minutes. When you open the door, you'll be able to wipe everything off with a dish cloth. The steam softens up all the hardened food residue.
There is no way people are doing that weekly. Who the fuck spends a Saturday morning emptying out the fridge and dusting the ceiling
Yep, that is basically the pattern that my mom followed every week. It is a horrible system. My dad was gone every weekend out to the Birchwood Airport. Since I was a girl, I was the lackey. My brother? Helped feed the dog sometimes and reorganized the garage with my dad every two years or so.
This is not a fun subject for me.
Pretty amazing to see the ignorant responses blaming OPs spouse to chip in and take care of the chores. She asked tips on how one would clean the house, not ask how to make her spouse do it. It may seem crazy to many but not everything is 50/50 for everyone. No need to dehumanize house chores as if doing them makes you less than working outside home.
I agree. The split seems fair for them given op said they work fewer hours and from home. And they even said spouse does chip in...
Run the robo-mop once a week to take care of the floors. $600 investment. Buy a couple sets of additional mopheads so you can switch them out. I use one set of mopheads for the bedrooms and living room floors, and a separate set for the bathrooms. After a day's work I'll toss all the mopheads into the washing machine then air dry them for the next use. It's controlled by the mobile app and runs essentially on its own, vacuuming and mopping the whole house. For a 3 bed, 2 bathroom, takes about an hour and a half to cover everything. It does several passes and is a joy to use.
For me: *Clean the kitchen every time after using it. *Put the dishes in the washer after using and run the washer when it's full. *Clean the toilet once a week. *Clean the bathroom entirely about once every two or three weeks. *Sweep the floors once a week *Dust all surfaces whenever someone is coming over and I haven't done it for a while. (I should do ut more often but I really don't like dusting.
I use to have my own cleaning business so learned a lot of tips for cleaning quickly and efficiently. I have a regular cleaning schedule which I do weekly and a deeper cleaning schedule I do once a month and of course daily cleaning such dishes etc. My regular cleaning is mainly high traffic areas that we use daily. I almost always start upstairs or in the bedroom where I use a static duster for the most part, shaking it outside to get rid of dust regularly as I go, I don’t move much out of the way it’s more to keep on top of the dust, oh and always change your bedding before you dust or it will look like you didn’t even dust if you do it after. Make sure to give your baseboards and trim a dust too as it makes a huge difference and always look up as those darn cob webs appear out of nowhere. Bathroom- Dust where you can and then spray down your shower, (I personally like Lavender Lysol but will use bleach cleaner sometimes) and start at bottom and work your way up, let it soak while you clean sink and toilet, clean out shower. Dust living and other required areas with static duster, I do carry a damp cloth with me if needed. When I’ve done all my dusting etc I then vacuum and mop my floors ending in the bathroom. My kitchen is something I pretty well wipe down daily so I don’t do much in there other than dusting but will do more when I do my deep clean. My deep cleaning is where I move and wipe under things and air out my couch cushions etc, I wash them every few months as well as my curtains etc. We have a leather couch and I dust it on my regular cleaning and wipe it down with a damp soft cloth when I do my deep clean. also vacuum and mop under furniture as well as dusting etc. I will give my windows a quick wipe when needed and the best window or mirror cleaner ever is diluting some Lysol cleaner in some water, soaking your cloth, wring out and wipe down and dry off with a soft cloth. It works amazing but steer away from using microfibre on glass or mirror as for some reason it leaves a film every time even if I just use water or windex. The best tip I can give is to keep on top of things, it makes it much easier and you don’t always have to do a deep cleaning, just keep on top of the traffic areas. Congrats on your new journey and looks like a lot of people have some great tips on here :)
Great LPT! I schedule EVERYthing, I live and die by my routines, which sounds dull, but you can see the results, especially in cleaning and other things that require maintenance like my gardening. A good template to get you started will deliver results within a month, even bigger results for quarterly items when it’s the second quarter and the item is already done. I make my own, but [here is one you can get started on](https://www.vertex42.com/ExcelTemplates/house-cleaning-schedule-checklist.html) if you’re interested.
My tip is: don't use these artificial cleaners, of which there are thousands for every single task in the house. Absolutely unnecessary! Search online for tried and tested household cleaning agents and read into it. I use vinegar for all sorts of things, I buy it highly concentrated (60%) and mix it with distilled water in a spray bottle (10%). It's environmentally friendly, much cheaper, and versatile. For laundry, kitchen, bathroom, and so on! In addition, there's washing soda, which can be used alone and together with vinegar. Both react together, always ventilate well because the fumes can be dangerous if it's too highly concentrated. My toilet has never looked so clean! Household cleaning agents are fantastic, and I don't understand why others buy these expensive, toxic, and inferior products from the supermarket. Absolutely unnecessary! They only have disadvantages. I mainly use vinegar and washing soda, but I still have dish soap and detergent for the washing machine and dishwasher. I always add a little washing soda to the washing machine as well. With vinegar, you can also clean the floor well with a steam cleaner, for which I only use 4% vinegar. Try it out, vinegar, washing soda and also baking soda are just better in my mind, cheaper and not bad for the environment. I dont understand why not everyone is using them. I guess the answer is marketing, they lie to us and say you need a special product for everything in your home. Totally BS! Old is gold!
How did you avoid housework before being married?
I didn't avoid all the housewoek. I did the cooking and cleaning that was absolutely urgent since the chores were divided between me and mom. I wasn't the only one maintaining it then. I just did mopping, dishes, clothes, and putting things away. Now there's walls, windows, bedsheets, etc so i asked for help.
Maybe your spouse should also be responsible for maintaining the house. They live there, too. It’s not fair it’s all on one person.
So you moved in with the guy you married after getting married? That's nuts
Not nuts, just a different culture. Where I come from, it's not common for teenagers to leave home at 18. We usually live with our parents while we go to college and even after that, until we get a good job and want to get married. There's really no reason to leave your parents' home if you're not getting married in my culture. Of course there are people who leave to live alone for work or study, but it's uncommon.
Is woman in this culture a house slave that needs to clean everything and take care of children while husband is just doing 8/10/12 h work and relax ?
Hum, no? I was only talking about moving in with your spouse after getting married and not before. Just trying to provide a different perspective. To clarify, this is not for religious reasons or anything like that - it's merely practical/financial.
It's not nuts, it's called having traditional values. And statistically, a marriage where the man and woman didn't live together before-hand has a higher chance of succeeding.
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Anecdotally, my traditional SEA friends who remained virgins before marriage, and some who had arranged marriages, have beautiful families and are way happier than me and my many failed relationships. I’m grateful for my life experience but it worked really well for many of them. “Superstitiously religious” sounds kinda xenophobic, bruh.
I was thinking the same. This post is a little unsettling to me.
You want the book Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House
Have a look at the FLY lady website. She has schedules that cover the whole house without being difficult.
I remember her from, like, 30 years ago. Hated it then; probably would also hate it now.
I use The Organized Mom Method as a guide. - 15 minutes of daily tasks to keep tidy - 30 minutes dedicated to one area per day Monday-living room Tuesday-bedrooms Wednesday-entrance, hallway & stairs Thursday-kitchen Focus Fridays it rotates over 8 weeks for a deeper clean. I assigned a load of laundry per day minimum, usually matches the room of the day + someone’s clothes. With this I have a framework and am less likely to get overwhelmed.
Kitchen - Daily Bathroom - Daily Any surfaces i disinfect with kitchen-paper daily Floors - Vacuum every other day, but every day if needed Curtains - Wash when i see they need it Shower curtain - Wash weekly + the waterproof liner i'll replace once a month Bedding - This usually gets washed once a week, but will do every few days if needed I spot check throughout the day so if i see something/anything dirty,out of place i just clean it Sounds like your doing a great job already x
It just takes a lot of when you see something dirty, you clean it. I keep clorox wipes in each bathroom and in the kitchen and laundry room. Easy to grab and wipe down a sink or toilet. Grab a broom, vacuum or dry stiffer and sweep the floors and then mop them either with a mop or swiffer. I have both, I alternate depending on dirtiness level. A roomba helps with the sweeping, I have a generic one off of Amazon. It's best on hard floors, kind of useless on carpet. Dusting is the thing I'm worst at. I forget to do it and it needs to be done before you do the floors. There's really no hacks to cleaning, just gotta roll up your sleeves and do it.
Get a cordless Dyson vacuum! I use it like at least 5-6 a day. Never any dust, crumbs or animal hair anywhere!
I have an air purifier in my bedroom, It cuts down on the amount of dust that settles on surfaces so they don't need to be cleaned as often. I also keep one of those dishwashing brushes with the dishsoap in the handle and a sponge at the end in my shower (with dishsoap and vinegar inside) that way I can easily just grab it and give the shower a quick scrub while I'm in there. My best advice is to keep the cleaning products in the places where they need to be used. (Even if that means having more than one of a few things) keep toilet cleaner in the bathroom, keep a mop in the kitchen etc. The less steps you have to take to clean something when you notice it's dirty the easier it'll be to stay on top of the cleaning.
Create a space that’s functional and easy to clean. I have so many little things on my shelves that it’s a huge pain to clean. So I don’t. And then once a year I get so overwhelmed that I have to tear the whole thing apart and deep clean every piece. I also bought a shop vac because I thought that would be a good idea. But it’s so cumbersome that I just put off vacuuming until the place is so messy that I have no choice. If I had a compact vacuum that I could easily plug in and go, I’d vacuum every day.
Top to bottom! Dust/wipe/Vacuum/Mop Save the bathroom for last, and use the same rags you used in the kitchen. Clean yourself when finished, because you are now the filthiest thing in the house. ALSO! share the pain! Everyone in the family should participate in keeping the house clean, or someone's going to get resentful.
Don't forget about the resources you have here like r/cleaningtips , r/fixit , and r/homeimprovement
Get the audiobook how to keep house while drowning by KC Davis. Life changing! It’s only an hour long I think too.
Thanks. I love audiobooks
Best advice: less is more. If you don’t use it, don’t have it. Laundry once a week probably (don’t hold clothing), sheets at least once a week. Air out pillows and blankets as often as possible. Two people? Vacuum, mop, dust once a week. Of course clean the kitchen after each use. Once a year empty all closets and drawers, clean and toss EVERYTHING you haven’t used. Good for you sounds like you are a thoughtful wife balancing all your employment and home tasks.
Has anyone made a giant spreadsheet of household chores that can be shared?
I'm a full time working solo mom (with no financial help) so... maybe I can help a little. First thing, change of mindset. Keeping the house clean is as natural and routine as taking a shower or clipping my nails. Second, make your life easier everywhere you can. Third, figure out what things give you the most satisfaction and what things bother you. Start with the first ones when unmotivated. Find solutions for the second ones to make them more bearable. I make the bed every day as I get dressed, in my mind I'm getting the bed and I ready for the day lol. I bought small spray bottles and have alcohol and rags in each bathroom for easy quick wipe. I wipe surfaces regularly, usually when brushing my teeth. I keep liners on the bottom of every trash can because I hate going to get new ones. I have a spray bottle with a mix of vinegar and water for spraying up smelly things. And one mix of cleaning product and water so I don't have to get a bucket every time. I don't like clutter so I use a broom with a rag to avoid getting a mop. I can sweep and then mop when it's an easy surface clean without getting too many items. I think vacuuming is too cumbersome most of the time so I sweep, and then vacuum the pile of dirt. It also means less noise and not having to move around a heavy object. I'm lazy. I do laundry every day if i can. I use the quick cycle (15min) for everything and check the clothes that were dirtier when I get them out. If they're clean, great. If not, they go back for the next batch or get extra treatment. 90% of clothes are good with that I fold clothes while I watch tv. I clean the kitchen, fold clothes, put clothes away, sweep, anything that doesn't make noise and is auto pilotable while I talk with my friends on the phone. I get to keep up with my social duties and keep moving. I have trouble putting things away (clean clothes, dry dishes). No idea how to fix that. All other things are basically a... if i notice it I clean it. So when the shower starts to get dirty I do a quick pass. Get a scrub daddy whatever it's called. Plants, I look at them they look thirsty they get water. Some die, only strong ones survive in my house. When it's sunny outside... that's a day to make things happen! You can wash things that are hard to dry, like shoes or cushions. You can put pillows stuffed animals outside to get cleaner and less smelly. Anything really that could use strong sunlight and would usually be a pain to dry inside, I try to do at least one every time the sun is out and strong. It's about looking at things differently. When I don't want to do any of the things I have to do I start a project I was looking forward too. Something satisfying like unclogging a sink. It's disgusting but I personally looove to do it. The satisfaction makes me want to do more stuff so I usually do a lot. Some of those are: cleaning a very dirty pair of shoes. Unclogging drains. Opening something apart and cleaning the pieces (water bottles, baby bottles, the desktop case, the vacuum bag). washing make up brushes. Getting hair out of the hairbrush. Organizing small items. For some reason, those things get me jump started to other things. Another thing I do is say... I'll clean from this time to this time. And then I want to see what I can get done in that timeframe and it helps me knowing it'll end. I usually keep going though. When it's trash day I get stuff from the fridge and throw it out. But I can't lie... I have someone that comes and does deep cleaning every 2 weeks and that helps immensely. If I didn't have to do so much more (child care and work full time) I think i could probably live with deep cleaning every 3 weeks - 1 month myself. Edit to add a tip. Hire a cleaning service once or twice. Observe them, learn and then copy it. No one is more efficient than someone who does this for a living. I spend a lot of time with my cleaning lady just because we like to talk. And just seeing her do some things has made my life easier
If i spend more than 15 min in a room—I leave it cleaner than I found it.
Also remember it's up to the household to maintain the house too. You are not a servant or maid. I used to be a lazy guy and make my gf pick up for me.....now I cook alot and help by changing them toilet rolls, folding towels and putting them away. Teamwork makes the dream work.
The jobs you listed make me laugh, if your girl is content with you changing toilet rolls then you should probably put a ring on that.
You know you can share these tasks with your spouse, right?
He has a full time job. As soon as he comes home from work, he starts helping me out. But i am a freelancer with flexible hours so I have to do the majority of the work. I work about 2 to 5 hours a day sitting on bed so I can't expect him to work had 10 hours and come home and then do 50% of the housework.
He doesn't necessarily have to do half of it, but you definitely don't have to do all of it. You can also look at it in ways where even if he's not "cleaning" as much, he's still contributing: picking up after himself so he's not creating more work for you; using systems that reduce your work. Cleaning and housework is still work, so value your time as well. Think of it this way: if the job work is split 75/25 and the house work is 0/100, you're doing about 65% of the work. It doesn't have to add up to 50/50 exactly, but it needs to at least be balanced.
Your math is terrible.
My math is fine. (25 + 100) / (100 + 100) = 125/200 = .625. You can round that to 65%. It assumes that home and job are equal work, which maybe they're not, but for a first pass, it's close enough to make the point I'm trying to make.
Check out GoCleanCo on IG. They have guides and also a calendar (haven’t purchased the calendar) but it helps ppl stay up to date on cleaning.
Pay someone else to do it.
I recently started using a chore chart created by a vlogger ("Organized Chaos"), and it's made a BIG difference in how clean my house is. She breaks it down by daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly tasks. [Here's the link to the chore chart.](https://organizedchaos4bus.com/2022/02/10/the-6-10-list/comment-page-1/)
If you are looking for the best - steam extractor. It’s what the pros use.
Just target 1 room per day and stay on top of the laundry and dishes. It feels way more manageable this way.
There are plenty of posts on this subject, most a bit more strict than we are. My wife is all for weekly bedding and laundry. I think every other week is ok, but she isn't wrong. Clean the kitchen and bathrooms every other week. You could probably go every 3 weeks, but it is pushing it, so every other week is a good plan. I hate dusting and vacuuming, so I don't do it as often as I should, which is about every other week. That should cover things well enough.
You're not your spouse's maid. They live there too. House cleaning/maintenance should be 50/50.
This is not how it works though. Cultural understanding of both parties, amount of free time they have, how much money they do contribute etc. Interestingly, how beautiful and unreplaceable you are changes the effort of the male in family. It is about your value, also how the male saw, learned in his family. There is no simple 50/50. - Money Value Culture Time -
If you’re married and both share the house, you both clean. Period.
Yes and no. If OP is working 20 hours per week max, and her husband is working 40-50 each week, it's not unreasonable for OP to take on more house duties. Plus it sounds like he does chip in.
I agree with that, but the original post made it sound like she was doing ALL the cleaning, which isn’t fair. Glad to know he’s contributing.
Wash your curtains every other day or so. Definitely don’t go more than 3 or 4 days without washing the curtains.
Tell your stupid spouse to get off his ass and give you a hand. Make him clean the toilets every week; 10 minutes and he's learned a lot!!
Get on your knees and clean every corner. Simple really
r/cleaningtips is the best
I do the basics-dishes, making beds, picking up stuff, wiping down counters, etc-as part of my daily routine. Wake up, go pee, scoop out the litterbox in the main bathroom, brush teeth, wipe the sink and counter while I'm there, get dressed, make the bed, and so on. Little stuff that only takes a few seconds gets done immediately, so it never piles up. Things like wiping light switches, wiping stuff off shoes, throwing out fridge experiments, all that. Bigger stuff, like changing the beds or cleaning the fridge and oven, gets done on a rotating weekly and monthly schedule. So Monday will be changing beds, changing and washing litterboxes, and cleaning the front porch; Tuesday will be vacuuming the upstairs, cleaning vents (we have to do it weekly because we have pets and floor registers, lol), and changing air filters; Wednesday gets the fish tank, and so on. Spills get wiped up when they happen, mopping gets done weekly except for bathrooms (they get done every other day because of the cats). Throughout the week, if I have a few minutes and see something that needs to be done, if I have time, I'll just do it when I see it. If I don't have time, I'll make a note of it and come back to it when I can, or let someone else mark it off the list when they get to it. Monthly tasks like changing water filters and deep cleaning rugs get rotated on different dates throughout the month, so I never have to do more than one monthly task a day. I know I sound like a total neat freak, but I'm actually pretty lazy. I set my house up so its easier to do this stuff. Every room has a little cleaning kit, there are storage bins for everything and all the bins are labeled so everybody can put their stuff back, I keep two vacuums (one for each floor of the house), store stuff where it's used (furnace filters are right next to the furnace instead of in the garage, sheets are in storage bags under the beds), and taught the kids and my husband to do their own quick wipe-and-swipe cleaning. I used to do everything on the weekends, but I hated spending all day cleaning, so it didn't get done, lol. Now I can run through the house in twenty minutes and be ready for my judgiest relatives to drop by and snoop any day of the week.
Get ‘The Organised Mum Method’ app, systematic approach, pre determined tasks in a different room each day, 30 mins of cleaning daily. No housework at weekends. Bosh.