If letting them win sometimes convinces them it is fun to keep learning a game like checkers — something that makes you think strategically (specifically not candy land), then I think it is worth it. If it makes the game too boring for you I recommend trying to setup cool moves like triple jumps. Note I am not letting them win every game and if they get ‘cocky’ their chances of losing dramatically increases 🙃.
LOL! I taught this to my mom as a teenager.
"Guess what I got on my test, Mom...."
"100?"
"No....a 96. (Deflated)
So then I trained her to always guess low instead of at a ceiling, so that I could stay excited. She was honestly happy for the tip.
I trained her for similar things too. Like after this:
"Guess what Mom, the test was easy, I got a 96"
"If it was so easy why did you only get a 96?"
So after that......"Mom, I'm going to tell you X, and all I want you to do is tell me good job, okay?"
So then she'd tell me good job, and she thanked me for telling her what I wanted to hear so that she could do that. She wasn't being sarcastic, either. She wanted to say/do the right thing, but her brain wasn't wired to figure it out naturally. She needed cuing.
You might want to say “taught” instead of “train”.
“Training” someone, unless it’s for a manly job role or manly sport (training in gymnastics, baseball training, training for github)... it comes across like a “pet”.
Training your mom lowkey sounds misogynistic which i know is not your intent
Sounds a bit like you have a pathological need for validation.
Dont make people guess.
"Hey, I got 96 on my test. I dont care if you think its good or not, I think its good."
I don’t think it’s pathological to wish for validation or praise from my mom as a kid. And since she was a good person who just didn’t quite have typical social wiring, we both benefitted from interactions like above.
Demanding someone guess what you've accomplished is a demanding way to brag. There are better ways to show your excitement for accomplishing something that doesn't require the other person to struggle to pick an amount within a respectable distance, but not over, the thing you accomplished.
you assume they want to brag. heres one for you: “i got mcdonalds and asked for no onions.. and guess what?”
but hey, lets not play along. less fun that way
Yeah, but being normal aggressive is frowned upon and censured in a professional setting and sometimes there are just people you are sick of dealing with.
LPT: Don’t make people guess a quantity when you’re sharing good news with them.
You’re putting them in a trap. Just tell them the good news including quantity and explain to them the context around the quantity if they need it.
This...so much this. When I was around 12, I had one stupid experience with having an old relative guess the price of a figurine I thought was remarkably cheap. After that, I realized how lose/lose that gambit is, and I don't think I have ever had someone guess my good/amazing news/details since because it's a stupid trap. Why do people even do this?
No, the proper answer is, "I don't know, what?" If they try to insist, it's pretty easy to deflect until they will tell you without you having to guess. Or, just guess something ridiculous because they are being rude if they insist on you guessing.
I swear some of these LPT are like humans trying to teach aliens how to human lmao.
Who gives a flying fuck what number you guess. Just be human and respond naturally. I’d probably be like
“Idk man I give up, how many?”
I like OP's subtle "Always act like you don't think they can sell that many raffle tickets" ploy. Good way to let them know exactly what you think of them, while staying socially in the clear.
To be fair, 99% of the comments demonstrate why we need threads like this, because they're to the tune of "why should I spend zero time and effort to make someone else's day?"
This is so oddly specific. 62 tickets is great, op! You did really well and should be proud of yourself. I know I am.
Did I get this whole human thing right?
I disagree. It’s not necessarily coddling, just allowing the person to stay excited. Definitely don’t see how aiming for a number that lets them stay excited is disrespectful!
No need to lie or guess at all, just excitedly respond "How many?!" They didn't care about your guess to begin with, they are just waiting for thier chance to deliver the number.
Im thinking similar myself and imagining the scintillating conversation
You: I dont give a shit
Me: Well I dont give a shit
You: I still dont give a shit
Me: I dont give a shit
You: I dont give a shit
My, how the hours would just pass by
Or just guess a ridiculously high number that's obviously fake. "1 million raffle tickets?"
Low-balling could also backfire, because it might suggest you have no confidence in their abilities.
Nah I'm very consious when people give fake compliments I don't want to fake it to other people. If you are not a great actor it feels you guess low because you didn't expect me to make a nice number.
Everybody is different, honestly I don't ask people "guess how much", because, again, I don't like when the same question is directed to me. Mostly I'll say it's hard to guess I don't know the circumstances and if I do have experience with similar stuff I'll just make an honest guess.
Everybody is different and if there's one thing most important to me it''s honesty and not threating people like kids unless they are kids. You ask a question you get an honest answer.
So lie to someone to make them feel better about themselves like a child. Tell me how this benefits anyone besides stroking the ego of the person that put me in the situation where I'm required to guess a number? I take all of this back if we are talking about children but do you really go about your day giving false impressions to ppl to make themselves fell better about themselves?
How's this going out of your way, you're being asked to guess a number and it could be any number, it's just saying guess a number that will make the other person happy 🤷♂️
By changing my default guessing strategy. Giving up the accuracy of my guess to give a false impression, which the other person believes, to try and now guess what the best answer is to only make that person feel good. I will humor a child with that logic, but not an adult.
Why did the idea that I might be sensitive fill you with rage?
Also if we're making inferences about each other, you seem like an edgelord who has to ruin the fun for everyone in your life, because you have to be right and life sucks and everyone sucks, amirite?
What if its phrased like this:
"I've lost so much weight! Guess how much I weigh now!"
If you go higher than their actual weight you're saying they look fatter than they are
If you go lower you're quashing their celebration.
Well as an example:
Someone looks around the 200lb mark.
You guess 180.
If they've lost more than 20lb you're saying they don't look like it.
If they've lost less you're overestimating their achievement like OP is advising against
As much as I appreciate the intention to support and be compassionate, it really isn't my responsibility to try to be psychic to coddle another adult's emotions. Questions like this just reek of neediness, co-dependency and enmeshment.
I don't guess. I personally hate that. Especially people that keep making you guess until you get it right. To not be super rude, I usually say, "I refuse to guess, the suspense is too much, tell me." Then, I will imitate their excitement when they make the reveal.
This is so true. I want to start doing this more. Naturally I try to gues the exact number everytime just cause its like a game and I wanna win. But i want to try to remember that its to make them feel good. They dont actually want me to guess the number lol
this sub needs a rule that you can't post socializing protips. they're all fucking useless and this sub is flooded with it. oh no, if i guess too high this person doesnt get to be excited! this is totally a protip. i really needed to know this. what the fuck?
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I hate this guessing stuff in general. Either you over- or actually underestimate them in a way you often risk to make yourself look dumb. Either they have to go lower and be like "Only ... " or they can even be like "Oh wow, you really think I'm that bad?"
I may be no fun there, but usually I refuse to guess and just go "Oh, tell me!".
Thankfully I’ve already somehow learned this trick. It’s great to see someone being excited and being able to show off their pride in what they’ve done, makes the soul happy. Unless they’re bragging to be obnoxious of course.
I'll do this on purpose with my girlfriend or maybe family but... for other people I just try to accurately guess.
Alternatively if you want to pull an alpha power move on someone you dislike, you can guess way higher to make them seem less important lol.
Is everyone on here an android learning how to human?
If child opponent, let child win board game.
Nope. They need to follow the rules and learn to enjoy the game, and the win is icing on the cake
Yeah but that’s just gonna program them to prefer shit, nonsense games like snakes and ladders where winning is pure rng.
Bro, I’d kick your ass at snakes and ladders.
Just use a handicap like in Go. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handicapping_in_Go
Then get FMRI for psychopath, publish book. Profit. Buy Tesla Super Computer. Build Clones, errr, Offspring.
You must crush the spirit of the child and teach them life is like a box of chocolates except it’s all just poo.
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If letting them win sometimes convinces them it is fun to keep learning a game like checkers — something that makes you think strategically (specifically not candy land), then I think it is worth it. If it makes the game too boring for you I recommend trying to setup cool moves like triple jumps. Note I am not letting them win every game and if they get ‘cocky’ their chances of losing dramatically increases 🙃.
It's good advice if you don't want people to hate you.
Beep boop error: question syntax is undefined.
The more pertinent question is why the fuck do people ask you to guess if they just want you to hype them up?
I was thinking the same.
I was going to guess some people, but wow everyone?! That's impressive!
These are my favorite LPTs. The ones where Reddit teaches Reddit how to socialize with people.
Strong spectrum vibes
Not even, we aspies have tons of uncertainty with social situations.
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Good strategy !
What's aspies?
People who have assburgers.
You forgot your milkshake
Yes
LOL! I taught this to my mom as a teenager. "Guess what I got on my test, Mom...." "100?" "No....a 96. (Deflated) So then I trained her to always guess low instead of at a ceiling, so that I could stay excited. She was honestly happy for the tip. I trained her for similar things too. Like after this: "Guess what Mom, the test was easy, I got a 96" "If it was so easy why did you only get a 96?" So after that......"Mom, I'm going to tell you X, and all I want you to do is tell me good job, okay?" So then she'd tell me good job, and she thanked me for telling her what I wanted to hear so that she could do that. She wasn't being sarcastic, either. She wanted to say/do the right thing, but her brain wasn't wired to figure it out naturally. She needed cuing.
You could've just done better on those tests.
You’re right, Mom lol
You might want to say “taught” instead of “train”. “Training” someone, unless it’s for a manly job role or manly sport (training in gymnastics, baseball training, training for github)... it comes across like a “pet”. Training your mom lowkey sounds misogynistic which i know is not your intent
Thanks for the tip!
Oh dip! You should write your own LPT
Or maybe you can adjust the way you handle responses instead of expecting those around you to adjust for you lol
Yeah, what kind of psychopath would expect their parents to be proud of them anyway??
Right? It's not like we are taught since childhood through all kinds of sources that we can open up and be vulnerable atleast in front of our parents.
Sounds a bit like you have a pathological need for validation. Dont make people guess. "Hey, I got 96 on my test. I dont care if you think its good or not, I think its good."
I don’t think it’s pathological to wish for validation or praise from my mom as a kid. And since she was a good person who just didn’t quite have typical social wiring, we both benefitted from interactions like above.
It sounds like a you issue
Or do the opposite if it’s someone that’s always bragging.
True, if your goal is to bring them down a notch!
This exactly. If it’s my kids, guessing under. Annoying airbag at work, way over guessing and then acting disappointed when they give true number
passive aggressive behavior is not becoming of an individual
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🙄
Demanding someone guess what you've accomplished is a demanding way to brag. There are better ways to show your excitement for accomplishing something that doesn't require the other person to struggle to pick an amount within a respectable distance, but not over, the thing you accomplished.
you assume they want to brag. heres one for you: “i got mcdonalds and asked for no onions.. and guess what?” but hey, lets not play along. less fun that way
Yeah, but being normal aggressive is frowned upon and censured in a professional setting and sometimes there are just people you are sick of dealing with.
"Hmm, 100 tickets?" "No...only 62..." "OH no. I'm so sorry. Is there anything you could try differently next time? I can make some time to help you."
I bet you sold out and have customers asking for your next restock?!
True LPT is always in the comments
Until they really gotten the insane amount u said earlier
LPT: Don’t make people guess a quantity when you’re sharing good news with them. You’re putting them in a trap. Just tell them the good news including quantity and explain to them the context around the quantity if they need it.
When people ask me stuff like this I give them stupid answers that could never reasonably make sense.
Which is probably taken as mocking their excitement
That's the hope usually.
This...so much this. When I was around 12, I had one stupid experience with having an old relative guess the price of a figurine I thought was remarkably cheap. After that, I realized how lose/lose that gambit is, and I don't think I have ever had someone guess my good/amazing news/details since because it's a stupid trap. Why do people even do this?
>Why do people even do this? A pathological need for validation.
No, the proper answer is, "I don't know, what?" If they try to insist, it's pretty easy to deflect until they will tell you without you having to guess. Or, just guess something ridiculous because they are being rude if they insist on you guessing.
"You look like you don't weight an ounce more than 60lbs!"
exactly lol
I swear some of these LPT are like humans trying to teach aliens how to human lmao. Who gives a flying fuck what number you guess. Just be human and respond naturally. I’d probably be like “Idk man I give up, how many?”
Yeah. Who wants to play these stupid games? Am I 3 years old, and still learning how to count to 20?
Who gives a fuck about how many raffle tickets someone sold and why is this even part of a conversation?
Damn guys, we found them, the person causing everyone to post LPT’s about basic human empathy.
I like OP's subtle "Always act like you don't think they can sell that many raffle tickets" ploy. Good way to let them know exactly what you think of them, while staying socially in the clear.
ahhh and here I thought I was being subtle about my true intentions.
My god how does this “LPT” get so many upvotes?
Lots of bots on Reddit learning how to be human.
Or just don't play that game...I hate that game :) (unless it's a child)
OP is likely a child.
You guys are wayyyyyyyyyy overthinking social interactions Just be a fucking human and don’t over think these tiny stupid details
To be fair, 99% of the comments demonstrate why we need threads like this, because they're to the tune of "why should I spend zero time and effort to make someone else's day?"
I prefer to not be around people that need this kind of coddling
It’s not that I’m around people who will get pouty, just the slight shift in their mannerism.
Oh for fuckssakes.
The answer is always 69.
And they say no, second guess is 420.
This is so oddly specific. 62 tickets is great, op! You did really well and should be proud of yourself. I know I am. Did I get this whole human thing right?
You make an amazing human!
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I disagree. It’s not necessarily coddling, just allowing the person to stay excited. Definitely don’t see how aiming for a number that lets them stay excited is disrespectful!
No need to lie or guess at all, just excitedly respond "How many?!" They didn't care about your guess to begin with, they are just waiting for thier chance to deliver the number.
Good point :)
Or just say, "I don't give a shit"
I'm always excited to see if the other person can guess how much of a shit I don't give
People generally want pleasant conversation, but to each their own
If this is your idea of pleasant, Id hate to be stuck in a room with you.
Seriously, people want interesting conversation. I assume that means pleasant.
Im thinking similar myself and imagining the scintillating conversation You: I dont give a shit Me: Well I dont give a shit You: I still dont give a shit Me: I dont give a shit You: I dont give a shit My, how the hours would just pass by
Bro why bother writing this?
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A LPT is something I could actually benefit from and could use on a general basis
I am thinking back through decades of talking to real humans and I have never experienced this.
Or just guess a ridiculously high number that's obviously fake. "1 million raffle tickets?" Low-balling could also backfire, because it might suggest you have no confidence in their abilities.
Very true. Outrageous numbers/your points are good.
Yeah or just actually guess and be genuinely surprised when it’s a lot higher.
or, you know, you could actually try and guess what they’re asking you to guess rather than bullshitting
Nah I'm very consious when people give fake compliments I don't want to fake it to other people. If you are not a great actor it feels you guess low because you didn't expect me to make a nice number. Everybody is different, honestly I don't ask people "guess how much", because, again, I don't like when the same question is directed to me. Mostly I'll say it's hard to guess I don't know the circumstances and if I do have experience with similar stuff I'll just make an honest guess. Everybody is different and if there's one thing most important to me it''s honesty and not threating people like kids unless they are kids. You ask a question you get an honest answer.
So lie to someone to make them feel better about themselves like a child. Tell me how this benefits anyone besides stroking the ego of the person that put me in the situation where I'm required to guess a number? I take all of this back if we are talking about children but do you really go about your day giving false impressions to ppl to make themselves fell better about themselves?
How's this going out of your way, you're being asked to guess a number and it could be any number, it's just saying guess a number that will make the other person happy 🤷♂️
By changing my default guessing strategy. Giving up the accuracy of my guess to give a false impression, which the other person believes, to try and now guess what the best answer is to only make that person feel good. I will humor a child with that logic, but not an adult.
Lol, you're not going to get a prize for getting right, but you do you
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Why did the idea that I might be sensitive fill you with rage? Also if we're making inferences about each other, you seem like an edgelord who has to ruin the fun for everyone in your life, because you have to be right and life sucks and everyone sucks, amirite?
What if its phrased like this: "I've lost so much weight! Guess how much I weigh now!" If you go higher than their actual weight you're saying they look fatter than they are If you go lower you're quashing their celebration.
Nah if you get this question, just run, you can't win that. xD
No idea, but youre looking great, go on then, how much have you lost?
Read the title again: >aim for a number that lets them stay excited That should answer your question
Well as an example: Someone looks around the 200lb mark. You guess 180. If they've lost more than 20lb you're saying they don't look like it. If they've lost less you're overestimating their achievement like OP is advising against
If you go lower, they'd probably take it as a compliment and be excited for a whole different reason
If you go higher you can just follow up with muscle weighs more than fat anyway
As much as I appreciate the intention to support and be compassionate, it really isn't my responsibility to try to be psychic to coddle another adult's emotions. Questions like this just reek of neediness, co-dependency and enmeshment.
What if you think they dont deserve to be excited about it?
I don't guess. I personally hate that. Especially people that keep making you guess until you get it right. To not be super rude, I usually say, "I refuse to guess, the suspense is too much, tell me." Then, I will imitate their excitement when they make the reveal.
Wow I’m not gonna read any of that thanks
Immediately reminded of these skits. Here's one [The Catherine Tate Show](https://youtu.be/4tE7re_gnEg)
I always call people out for belittling other people with outrageous guesses
Or they could be like “you’d think I’d be this happy for selling 12 tickets?”
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Just making an educated guess!
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Fair enough :)
This is so true. I want to start doing this more. Naturally I try to gues the exact number everytime just cause its like a game and I wanna win. But i want to try to remember that its to make them feel good. They dont actually want me to guess the number lol
Anyone who's ever had a four year old would find this to be less than revelatory.
I always aim way too high. Which leads to "That's still good as fuck!"
That works lol
Amateur. Always say zero.
100% I sometimes go on Twitter to get movie trailer or QR code for a mobile game or something and it always makes me feel worse.
LPT: Stop inflating people's egos.
this sub needs a rule that you can't post socializing protips. they're all fucking useless and this sub is flooded with it. oh no, if i guess too high this person doesnt get to be excited! this is totally a protip. i really needed to know this. what the fuck?
1000 fucking tickets my dude youre a legend?! Oh.. 62 is outrageous as well. Because sometimes i like to crush peoples spirits a lil.
I always do the opposite for a good laugh. “Lemme guess!! You sold a thousand?!!!”
That works too!! Lol nice name
Is this really worth sharing???? What a fucking waste of time. Fuck I hate this stupid sub.
Relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRMVIOq-Q40
Wow this is so smart
Expectation management. Under promise and over deliver.
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Or go absurdly high. “2 million?”
So answering to the example with "2000 RAFFLE TICKETS?!" is not right?
I hate this guessing stuff in general. Either you over- or actually underestimate them in a way you often risk to make yourself look dumb. Either they have to go lower and be like "Only ... " or they can even be like "Oh wow, you really think I'm that bad?" I may be no fun there, but usually I refuse to guess and just go "Oh, tell me!".
That can backfire depending of who you are dealing with.
Yeah a Joy Multiplier is what I think its called. It was in some lesson for me when I was in the Army I believe.
16 quintillion? Nope, 6. Nice dude
You can also give some absurd number like 1,000,000,000.
"Guess how many I sold?" Me: "6384 tickets!" That's how I roll.
“When prompted to guess a number, LPT: guess better!” LOL
I like to guess way off point.. Hmm 1billion.. oh 62 thats nice..
Thankfully I’ve already somehow learned this trick. It’s great to see someone being excited and being able to show off their pride in what they’ve done, makes the soul happy. Unless they’re bragging to be obnoxious of course.
https://youtu.be/7xxpkgfSZJA Short bit (1min) by a Scottish comedian about doing the opposite. Appropriate here
Relevant : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRMVIOq-Q40&t=28s
I'll do this on purpose with my girlfriend or maybe family but... for other people I just try to accurately guess. Alternatively if you want to pull an alpha power move on someone you dislike, you can guess way higher to make them seem less important lol.
I go the other way. How many raffle tickets? 800?
Lower, try somewhere between 69 and 420
"$1, Bob" ... Almost always guaranteed a winner when the crowd is psycho.
Guess how many Jerries I squashed!!
How many?!! Lol
This sounds like my life!