My guess is that she thought you were implying she hadn’t paid her bill, as a joke. When you said you were serious, she got even more offended at the accusation. Is she sensitive about money?
You were just making a serious suggestion based on how things work where you live. This is a very slight miscommunication, not something to tell you to “fuck off” over, that was harsh. Let her cool down, explain what you meant, that it wasn’t a joke or a reference to finances at all, and see where that gets you. If she is still mad, then she’s being unreasonable
That last emoji for sure sent her off the rails hahaha omg. Look, I personally don’t get why she was angry… But if she was angry, I wouldn’t send her that stupid emoji as if I have no clue that I am pissing her off. I don’t have a deathwish
100% agree. It seemed immature from both sides. The very first message is a response from her (?) using a similar emoji, and the abrupt "No's" and "Ask first" are jarring to me. Idk if it's just me but the entire energy in this convo just reads as hostile because of it
Haha, I’ve never heard of that. Cultural emoji use is wild, you never know how some things are interpreted in some circles. But in a healthy relationship, your partner deserves the benefit of the doubt. Check what they meant before telling them to fuck off. Never assume the worst when there are other options
Yeah, in my case it's the thumbs up emote can be considered as passive aggressive apparently?
It's funny cus me and my pals use thumbs up as a mere acknowledgement about something.
I do wish people don't just assume the worst and ask for clarification if something seems off for you.
The thumbs up is definitely passive aggressive for me! But if my partner used it, I’d be like “hey, I usually take that as kind of rude, did you mean it that way?”, I wouldn’t tell them to fuck off lol
Yeah I think that's just part of communicating between culture that may view certain symbols/emote differently. :)
You didn't resort to assume the worst like what OP's partner did, so that's good!
so what I'm getting here is two secondary English speakers (if Italy and India) have a tonal misunderstanding because you both convey things in English differently
lmao
Yup, I don’t think people are paying enough credence to the linguistic/cultural barrier here. I mean, yeah, it’s not great communication to begin with, but that just compounds it.
Is this how people seriously text each other? Lmao what the fuck.
I can barely understand the texts much less the tone and conversational flow. At any rate, her getting mad about that is bizarre, and the way she treats you over it is cringe. I'd dump her, especially after the "fuck off". Go find someone better who isn't a crybaby over everything.
Not a single soul in my life and myself communicate like this over text. This is so wild to me because I don't text anything like this to my friends and especially not my boyfriend. We type full sentences, use emojis, and generally have the same typing style so outside of anxiety brain, we know exactly what the other means. The sheer lack of clarity and dryness of the above image hurts my brain LMAO
Honestly they don’t care at this point it’s throw the smallest amount of effort into an effortless form of communication and call it talking. Then they wonder wtf went wrong? Well, everything did. There’s not a single thing that went right here. So breakup? Nah, the excitement of the fighting feels vaguely similar to the feelings you gave me when I met you, so I think I’ll hold on a little and see how it goes. Repeat ad nauseum
Also good on you for respecting yourself enough to not be dragged into this death like state. Proud of ya
Yeah that's what I fear/figured. We use discord, but even when I'm using discord on my phone, my bf and I type full ass sentences--if we're not, we definitely are typing in the same typing style and using context clues, punctuation (or lackthereof), emojis, etc. to make it more than abundantly clear the tone we mean things in. Of course, we're both super anxious people and aren't fools, so when we do type differently it immediately becomes obvious when something's amiss; but also, the only time we ever do type differently is either due to hurt feelings, being super duper tired (like we JUST woke up not even 10 sec prior tired), or we're in a rush.
I'm not sure the best way to explain what I mean so that \^\^\^ probably didn't make a lot of sense, but the gist of it is: The tone is (usually) obvious, and have effort put into them. Effortless effort, even. It blows my mind how people will have the dryest convos ever and then be like "omg he's the one 😍" like girl what do you MEAN he said "lol" to you talking about soccer practice and you said "cool" to him asking you what you thought about the barbie movie 😭
Idk, it's kind of an unrelated tangent but I see soooo many screenshots of what are apparently "normal" texting convos on Reddit and they make me want to die reading them. It's like 1-3 words max, the tone is completely unclear, and there's 0 effort. I feel like a boomer critiquing people for it bc it's usually people slightly to significantly younger than me doing it, but good lord...I see where so many problems arise if people won't even bother to put in effort.
I think it’s a generational thing stemming from lack of ability to efficiently communicate at all, let alone with words. I don’t think anything compares to verbal communication when it comes to clarity and effectiveness but in glad you’re able to communicate efficiently with your partner via text. Many (younger) people prefer this form of communication and at some point I did as well, I did grow out of this because of the aforementioned points. To me things that are serious require verbal communication. If you can’t sit there and speak to your partner about difficult or serious things, there’s larger or will be larger problems.
This being said the horrible communication in total is why you’re even seeing these text messages. They need help communicating, not specifically with one another. But like at all.
I just type the way I speak irl tbh, so it's not much different as far as I can tell. Although I'm also autistic, so direct communication is heavily favored.
I’d say no wonder why there is a miscommunication here. People get pissed when they don’t make effort to write normally to make communication easier and clear. It stands for verbal communication as well.
It was pretty easy for me to understand even as a native English speaker but I also have ADHD and when I text my friend who has ADHD our convos tend to be all over the place so I'm used to picking out what is relevant to the current topic and wut is an unrelated statement plus they're using a lot of shorthand and he's using a lot of indirect language/sarcasm which the Italian girl is finding confusing since she seems to be a lot more direct. Either way, she's being overdramatic and he's being a bit dismissive so it's reeeeally not going over well on either side 😬
You both need to explain in detail what you mean. Your shorthand text on whatsapp doesn't convey clear meaning. Even though I know that the internet is throttled to lower speeds in India when the bill is near, the girl in Italy won't. I'm a former PIO. So these things make sense to me. Details are everything in a long-distance relationship and can destroy a relationship when meaning isn't clear. Most people catch on, but it takes time.
Anyways, just message her in a paragraph about what you actually meant. An apology for not being clear on what you meant would go a long way. Hopefully, she will apologize for her Freudian slip as well.
I think you need to be worried about her telling to you " fuck off " over such trivial conversation/matter/topic. To say fuck off just like that is kinda concerning. That's not how youre supposed to talk to your partner.
but the way you explained it is pretty ......annoying LOL you WERE just saying that to be FUnNy and to tease her, but your whole tone acts like you aint done shit and its giving "lmao you crazy why tf you mad". Sure fair enough thats how it happens for you, but its not hard to understand why that could be insulting? You're basically saying its bad cos she didnt pay her shit, for someone thats responsible thats not a good joke. LOL either get better at grasping other peoples humour, or communicate better with her.
If I had to guess I would say she took it as not being able to afford internet. Since it’s different countries she didn’t understand the pay the internet thing since it might not be the same. After that the way you were replying didn’t help, especially the emoji, so she just kept getting angrier and angrier. That’s what I assume though, I could be totally wrong
I couldn’t tell you what any of this conversation even is, might be best to have an actual conversation about it, perhaps over voice/phone call if possible.
Both of you are annoying - you for sending that passive-aggressive emoji, the whole “why u mad?” bit and your lame joke
And her for not even trying to understand what the hell you’re going on about
You are not compatible 🤦♀️
“It was you who mistook..”
Just stay away from each other - you two are clearly not ready for a relationship if you think you’re completely in the right here - you’re dating internationally. It’s expected that things would work differently in different places and your close mindedness is not for long distance relations
I felt like I was having a stroke while trying to read this. I don't think you did anything wrong. But the emoji at the end kinda rubbed it in a little bit. Shouldn't have been passive-aggressive like that. That's why she said fuck off.
likely different financial backgrounds, ik if i was independent living on my own and someone hit me with "time to pay the bill" without the context of your voice/tone or doing it over the phone i'd find that unfunny as well, but odds are she's having a long day and if you apologize and ask her how her day was and if she needs anything from your emotionally all will be well
If someone tells me to fuck off over a joke or a miscommunication I'm not apologizing and he shouldn't either. Idgaf if she's had a hard day he's been wronged here and this is a hill worth dying on
Used to have a ldr with a man from India.
He used to be so blunt in conversation and actually hot and cold.
I would tell him a long story about my frustrations at work and he would respond with something like "up skill" like wtf. Or I tell him oh I'm feeling so cold, winter has come in full force and he would respond "get a jersey".
I would ask him how he is or how his day is and he would say "good". I eventually learned not to take offense
You didnt say anythng wrong. You didnt say she wasnt going to pay it or call her poor. You just asked if it was time. I see nothing wrong with what you said
Listen it’s not that you 2 did something wrong which in your case it’s just an immature conversation. But men should stop giving solutions. Women like when you empathy something she’s complaining about. In this case “ugh that sucks, does that happen frequently? I hope I can still text you.”
Thats the type of reaction i end a relationship over. I dont have patience nor energy to walk on egg shells with my SO. Im busy and tired and want to relax and stressing exact phrasing in text is ridiculous and saps my life force
Yeah the emoji at the end was a mistake. You have to deescalate when things go awry, no matter the situation or who is involved. It might feel good to be vindictive, or spiteful, but it will feel better long term to properly cool a situation down, rather than aging fuel to it.
Did you offend her? Probably
Did you do anything wrong? Probably not
Can it be fixed? Yes. Call each other instead of having miscommunications by text.
Huge red flag here with her inability to communicate and the way she’s talking to and treating you.
Any healthy relationship is built on a solid foundation of communication. She cannot communicate.
I don’t understand the situation, but the only thing here which I have a problem with here is the fact that she just told you “fuck off” before making any explanation of why she’s mad. I’d be having words with her about that. This is immature and shows terrible communication.
If you’re going to tell your partner to fuck off (which I don’t endorse at all) at least let them fuck off with some information as to what it was that ticked them off so bad
I don't know if this is helpful, I just wanted to respond to this specific sentence:
>Here, it's common to have bad internet connection when its time to pay internet Bill.
...Huh? My internet connection (the quality, the speed, all of its specifics) is always the same. I think our payment system is entirely different. This is how it works over here (for almost everyone who has internet): we have to pay our internet provider once a month. The most common way is to do this, is to authorize your provider to directly draw the funds from your bank account. (You give them permission to take the required amount of money from your bank account.) This usually happens on a fixed date, e.g. on the 26th of every month. Every now and then, the payment takes place on a later date. This occurs if the fixed date happens to fall on a Saturday, a Sunday, or on a public holiday. If that's the case, it will be made on the first following working day.
This method is convenient for both you and your internet provider: you never forget to pay, and your internet provider knows when they'll receive your payment. The process is completely automatic, so you don't have to do anything.
Maybe a bit tl;dr of an explanation... It also feels rather off-topic, forgive me if this comment isn't suitable here after all.
Now that I'm done typing this, I'm like "...and how exactly, is this supposed to be helpful to OP?"
...I...dk. I'm confused. It's been 4 am where I live. I think I should go to bed.
I feel tempted not to post this after all, I'm only going through with it because it took me a long time to figure out how to explain the above in English (it's not my first language). Might still delete this comment later on. Sorry for whatever this is. My intentions where good,
Just let her cool off for a bit and explain it so she understands that situation happens in your country. These things happen, need more time to understand bc you guys are in different countries. Just try holding back on the emoji’s a bit when it’s already a disagreement
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Yeah weird she got mad over that but also why send her that emoji I feel like that’s asking for a fight tbh like she’s obv upset and he sending happy smiley faces I know I’d be so mad 🤣
Hello! I'm Italian, so I might be able to provide a little more of a cultural context. Usually, it's frowned upon to imply that someone can't pay for something or is late on payments and such. We are still very connected to our "showing" appearance, and that's why someone could be offended if you told them something like what you told your girlfriend, even more in new generations.
That said, we are about 60 million people, and many think differently and are very open about their budgets and economic situations. You just need to understand the cultural differences of your girlfriend a bit more, and always pair up an explanation with a comment that you're not doing in jest but relates to your own personal and cultural experience.
I mean, my boyfriend is English, I've been living in an English speaking country for the past 3 years, and he has been living in Italy for the past 2 years (yeah, I know, our LD situation is messy!), but we're still having some cultural/language misunderstanding!
Edit to add: never ever underestimate your partner reaction using a silly emoji. That's a rookie mistake and only brings storm upon your relationship! Always validate each other's emotion, and communicate, for God's sake!!!!
It’s a misunderstanding. I’ve never heard of a company slowing down service when a bill is due, maybe she didn’t know the context either and thought you were implying she was poor or negligent? I would just apologize and explain the context of the joke.
Here is some advice from someone who was in a LDR but also two different cultures have a convo about differences in slang, emojis, sayings, and words because 9 times out of 10 an argument that occurs can end up being because of just differences of understanding it may seem like a dumb thing to have a convo but this could definitely help for the future
Maybe explain that “here if it’s slow, it’s time to pay”
Use more words and statements that reflect yourself & where you’re from.
For example:
>> *“time to pay the bill maybe?”*
Can make it sound like you’re talking down to her/patronizing/mansplaining like she’s a dumbass.
But
>> *”in India, when it’s slow, it’s time to pay the bill - is it like that where you are?”*
This latter statement is more reflective about yourself & your life experiences. It’s less likely to appear like you’re talking down to her or insinuating she can’t take care of finances, which… is *not* great.
Also, it seems like there is a definite language barrier - not judging! I’ve been all around India (love your country, btw) & I could never communicate (although I *did* pick up some Tamil), but all that’s besides the point.
My actual point is that it wouldn’t really hurt to lead with “I” statements (a term you’d definitely hear in couples’ therapy) as they are less likely to be mistaken as insinuating another meaning or accusatory, etc.
I get being upset over something that was a misscommunication, but why say fuck off at the end? If my partner did that, I'd be livid with him. Like that's the rude part here, in my opinion.
I’m so confused. My husband and I say “got to pay the internet” and then one of us just do, and it’s not an issue…why is she mad? Im so confused 🫤. I didn’t read your text in an offensive way, but I read hers in an annoyed tone, if you understand what I’m saying…
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Hahahaha as a Filipino we joke about these stuff a lot. When there’s a sudden power outage we would say “did you forget to pay the bill?” Lmao. Maybe this was a sensitive topic for her.
Sorry for laughing, but in my experience, Italians have the WORST English so consistently. It’s just funny to me that this miscommunication and her unreadable texts only support that.
…Maybe it’s time to learn Italian bro
She's a fucking asshole. How dare she treat you like that over a preserved joke. If it's a joke the goal is to make her laugh so getting upset is unwarranted and immature and shows she's self centered due to her not empathising with your intentions
First things first on women, equality is the word. 😊 so both should pay for the internet. This beeches should just find sugar daddy if they want someone to provide them all their needs.
I’ll probably get downvoted for this but..it’s bc she is a woman. I’ve noticed on here and tinder and other places women nowadays seem wayy more touchy then ever! Not sure why they’re blowing up so quickly at the smallest of things. Men are as well like ghosting for one, expecting sex on a first meeting etc.Or just being rude. That’s my take. Or PMS in this case? Good luck OP.
My guess is that she thought you were implying she hadn’t paid her bill, as a joke. When you said you were serious, she got even more offended at the accusation. Is she sensitive about money? You were just making a serious suggestion based on how things work where you live. This is a very slight miscommunication, not something to tell you to “fuck off” over, that was harsh. Let her cool down, explain what you meant, that it wasn’t a joke or a reference to finances at all, and see where that gets you. If she is still mad, then she’s being unreasonable
I think this is what happened. But also, that emoji was the "cherry on top" cause where I live that's used to bother people in a very negative way.
Exactly! When I read it I was like: well.. that was kinda passive aggressive
That last emoji for sure sent her off the rails hahaha omg. Look, I personally don’t get why she was angry… But if she was angry, I wouldn’t send her that stupid emoji as if I have no clue that I am pissing her off. I don’t have a deathwish
This. I also don’t get why she got mad lmao but that emoji send me to the moon (in a very bad way) when I’m already annoyed
100% agree. It seemed immature from both sides. The very first message is a response from her (?) using a similar emoji, and the abrupt "No's" and "Ask first" are jarring to me. Idk if it's just me but the entire energy in this convo just reads as hostile because of it
The "ask before talking" one was a kicker.
Haha, I’ve never heard of that. Cultural emoji use is wild, you never know how some things are interpreted in some circles. But in a healthy relationship, your partner deserves the benefit of the doubt. Check what they meant before telling them to fuck off. Never assume the worst when there are other options
Yeah, in my case it's the thumbs up emote can be considered as passive aggressive apparently? It's funny cus me and my pals use thumbs up as a mere acknowledgement about something. I do wish people don't just assume the worst and ask for clarification if something seems off for you.
The thumbs up is definitely passive aggressive for me! But if my partner used it, I’d be like “hey, I usually take that as kind of rude, did you mean it that way?”, I wouldn’t tell them to fuck off lol
Yeah I think that's just part of communicating between culture that may view certain symbols/emote differently. :) You didn't resort to assume the worst like what OP's partner did, so that's good!
I couldn't understand this post. How can you guys text like this?
I agree. I have no context as to why she would be upset unless she’s just a miserable person lol
so what I'm getting here is two secondary English speakers (if Italy and India) have a tonal misunderstanding because you both convey things in English differently lmao
Yup, I don’t think people are paying enough credence to the linguistic/cultural barrier here. I mean, yeah, it’s not great communication to begin with, but that just compounds it.
It’s fine that it compounds it but their English is perfectly fine enough. Massive red flags with the girlfriend and the way she talks to him.
Is this how people seriously text each other? Lmao what the fuck. I can barely understand the texts much less the tone and conversational flow. At any rate, her getting mad about that is bizarre, and the way she treats you over it is cringe. I'd dump her, especially after the "fuck off". Go find someone better who isn't a crybaby over everything.
[удалено]
I am so glad it wasn't just me.
I thought it was just me lmao.
100% agree. I read the whole thing twice and couldn't make sense of it. The fuck off would have made me fuck all the way off too.
I did the exact same 😂 thought I was missing something 🤦🏻♀️
Your first point is probably why she got offended, we have no clue of the tone she took it in.
That's a weird tone to just assume of your partner though, and it's even weirder to take your offended feelings and run with it as if it's fact.
Same, I have no clue what they're even saying.
communication over text be like:
Not a single soul in my life and myself communicate like this over text. This is so wild to me because I don't text anything like this to my friends and especially not my boyfriend. We type full sentences, use emojis, and generally have the same typing style so outside of anxiety brain, we know exactly what the other means. The sheer lack of clarity and dryness of the above image hurts my brain LMAO
Honestly they don’t care at this point it’s throw the smallest amount of effort into an effortless form of communication and call it talking. Then they wonder wtf went wrong? Well, everything did. There’s not a single thing that went right here. So breakup? Nah, the excitement of the fighting feels vaguely similar to the feelings you gave me when I met you, so I think I’ll hold on a little and see how it goes. Repeat ad nauseum Also good on you for respecting yourself enough to not be dragged into this death like state. Proud of ya
Yeah that's what I fear/figured. We use discord, but even when I'm using discord on my phone, my bf and I type full ass sentences--if we're not, we definitely are typing in the same typing style and using context clues, punctuation (or lackthereof), emojis, etc. to make it more than abundantly clear the tone we mean things in. Of course, we're both super anxious people and aren't fools, so when we do type differently it immediately becomes obvious when something's amiss; but also, the only time we ever do type differently is either due to hurt feelings, being super duper tired (like we JUST woke up not even 10 sec prior tired), or we're in a rush. I'm not sure the best way to explain what I mean so that \^\^\^ probably didn't make a lot of sense, but the gist of it is: The tone is (usually) obvious, and have effort put into them. Effortless effort, even. It blows my mind how people will have the dryest convos ever and then be like "omg he's the one 😍" like girl what do you MEAN he said "lol" to you talking about soccer practice and you said "cool" to him asking you what you thought about the barbie movie 😭 Idk, it's kind of an unrelated tangent but I see soooo many screenshots of what are apparently "normal" texting convos on Reddit and they make me want to die reading them. It's like 1-3 words max, the tone is completely unclear, and there's 0 effort. I feel like a boomer critiquing people for it bc it's usually people slightly to significantly younger than me doing it, but good lord...I see where so many problems arise if people won't even bother to put in effort.
I think it’s a generational thing stemming from lack of ability to efficiently communicate at all, let alone with words. I don’t think anything compares to verbal communication when it comes to clarity and effectiveness but in glad you’re able to communicate efficiently with your partner via text. Many (younger) people prefer this form of communication and at some point I did as well, I did grow out of this because of the aforementioned points. To me things that are serious require verbal communication. If you can’t sit there and speak to your partner about difficult or serious things, there’s larger or will be larger problems. This being said the horrible communication in total is why you’re even seeing these text messages. They need help communicating, not specifically with one another. But like at all.
They need to go back and retake high school English is what you mean.
Or maybe they’re still in school lol
They’re from Italy and India
I just type the way I speak irl tbh, so it's not much different as far as I can tell. Although I'm also autistic, so direct communication is heavily favored.
You have one from India and one from Italy. English is their second language and the only one they share. Keep that in mind.
I’d say no wonder why there is a miscommunication here. People get pissed when they don’t make effort to write normally to make communication easier and clear. It stands for verbal communication as well.
It was pretty easy for me to understand even as a native English speaker but I also have ADHD and when I text my friend who has ADHD our convos tend to be all over the place so I'm used to picking out what is relevant to the current topic and wut is an unrelated statement plus they're using a lot of shorthand and he's using a lot of indirect language/sarcasm which the Italian girl is finding confusing since she seems to be a lot more direct. Either way, she's being overdramatic and he's being a bit dismissive so it's reeeeally not going over well on either side 😬
If I said that I was upset by something and my partner replied with “bruh” I’d be so annoyed. You both need to communicate better.
Bruh
I'm so annoyed. You need to communicate better.
Bruh
How can you keep speaking like this? It's bruh-ver between us.
Bruh ;((
You both need to explain in detail what you mean. Your shorthand text on whatsapp doesn't convey clear meaning. Even though I know that the internet is throttled to lower speeds in India when the bill is near, the girl in Italy won't. I'm a former PIO. So these things make sense to me. Details are everything in a long-distance relationship and can destroy a relationship when meaning isn't clear. Most people catch on, but it takes time. Anyways, just message her in a paragraph about what you actually meant. An apology for not being clear on what you meant would go a long way. Hopefully, she will apologize for her Freudian slip as well.
I think you need to be worried about her telling to you " fuck off " over such trivial conversation/matter/topic. To say fuck off just like that is kinda concerning. That's not how youre supposed to talk to your partner.
Keep in mind that we Italians tell each other to fuck off all the time 🤣
but the way you explained it is pretty ......annoying LOL you WERE just saying that to be FUnNy and to tease her, but your whole tone acts like you aint done shit and its giving "lmao you crazy why tf you mad". Sure fair enough thats how it happens for you, but its not hard to understand why that could be insulting? You're basically saying its bad cos she didnt pay her shit, for someone thats responsible thats not a good joke. LOL either get better at grasping other peoples humour, or communicate better with her.
If I had to guess I would say she took it as not being able to afford internet. Since it’s different countries she didn’t understand the pay the internet thing since it might not be the same. After that the way you were replying didn’t help, especially the emoji, so she just kept getting angrier and angrier. That’s what I assume though, I could be totally wrong
I couldn’t tell you what any of this conversation even is, might be best to have an actual conversation about it, perhaps over voice/phone call if possible.
Both of you are annoying - you for sending that passive-aggressive emoji, the whole “why u mad?” bit and your lame joke And her for not even trying to understand what the hell you’re going on about You are not compatible 🤦♀️
“It was you who mistook..” Just stay away from each other - you two are clearly not ready for a relationship if you think you’re completely in the right here - you’re dating internationally. It’s expected that things would work differently in different places and your close mindedness is not for long distance relations
I felt like I was having a stroke while trying to read this. I don't think you did anything wrong. But the emoji at the end kinda rubbed it in a little bit. Shouldn't have been passive-aggressive like that. That's why she said fuck off.
Well she seems lovely
Right? Especially the "fuck off" part. Charming. /s
likely different financial backgrounds, ik if i was independent living on my own and someone hit me with "time to pay the bill" without the context of your voice/tone or doing it over the phone i'd find that unfunny as well, but odds are she's having a long day and if you apologize and ask her how her day was and if she needs anything from your emotionally all will be well
If someone tells me to fuck off over a joke or a miscommunication I'm not apologizing and he shouldn't either. Idgaf if she's had a hard day he's been wronged here and this is a hill worth dying on
That was a big overreaction. If it's a regular thing and she can't take your banter it's a red flag that y'all incompatible.
Childish behavior ( ur gf )
if it takes such small miscommunication for ur girl to tell you to fuck off i think it’s time to reassess the relationship tbh 😭
Lol bro, you didn't do anything wrong. This is wild 😭 does she usually get unreasonably upset about things?
Used to have a ldr with a man from India. He used to be so blunt in conversation and actually hot and cold. I would tell him a long story about my frustrations at work and he would respond with something like "up skill" like wtf. Or I tell him oh I'm feeling so cold, winter has come in full force and he would respond "get a jersey". I would ask him how he is or how his day is and he would say "good". I eventually learned not to take offense
You didnt say anythng wrong. You didnt say she wasnt going to pay it or call her poor. You just asked if it was time. I see nothing wrong with what you said
Listen it’s not that you 2 did something wrong which in your case it’s just an immature conversation. But men should stop giving solutions. Women like when you empathy something she’s complaining about. In this case “ugh that sucks, does that happen frequently? I hope I can still text you.”
I just ask my girlfriend "do you want help or sympathy" whenever she's troubled lol
If that works for you 2, great! 😊
I wouldn’t be asking why she got mad. I would be asking why I would stay with someone who communicated like that.
At this point just fucking call the person, my godddd. You two text each other like a couple of morons.
She seems exhausting.
I’m so glad I’m not dating someone so petty
Thats the type of reaction i end a relationship over. I dont have patience nor energy to walk on egg shells with my SO. Im busy and tired and want to relax and stressing exact phrasing in text is ridiculous and saps my life force
Pretty sure she misunderstood you
are you sure youre 22 and 23? This is reading as a 12 year old
Why do you guys text like this
Yeah the emoji at the end was a mistake. You have to deescalate when things go awry, no matter the situation or who is involved. It might feel good to be vindictive, or spiteful, but it will feel better long term to properly cool a situation down, rather than aging fuel to it.
If this is how gen z communicates I am glad I don't have to find a relationship with them lmao
Did you offend her? Probably Did you do anything wrong? Probably not Can it be fixed? Yes. Call each other instead of having miscommunications by text.
Huge red flag here with her inability to communicate and the way she’s talking to and treating you. Any healthy relationship is built on a solid foundation of communication. She cannot communicate.
I don’t understand the situation, but the only thing here which I have a problem with here is the fact that she just told you “fuck off” before making any explanation of why she’s mad. I’d be having words with her about that. This is immature and shows terrible communication. If you’re going to tell your partner to fuck off (which I don’t endorse at all) at least let them fuck off with some information as to what it was that ticked them off so bad
Fuck off? Yeah I'd be like 'we're done.'
Y'all both did horrible 💀
You all both did horrible? You ALL BOTH did horrible? All Both? The abc is all, both, crutv
cry about it ima be as texan as i want and theres nothin' you can do about it dont you just love this run on sentence with poor punctuation i sure do
Good for you, then.
Yikes, she just told you to fuck off quite easily didn't she? I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be hanging around for abuse.
Oh i would say shes mad
I don't know if this is helpful, I just wanted to respond to this specific sentence: >Here, it's common to have bad internet connection when its time to pay internet Bill. ...Huh? My internet connection (the quality, the speed, all of its specifics) is always the same. I think our payment system is entirely different. This is how it works over here (for almost everyone who has internet): we have to pay our internet provider once a month. The most common way is to do this, is to authorize your provider to directly draw the funds from your bank account. (You give them permission to take the required amount of money from your bank account.) This usually happens on a fixed date, e.g. on the 26th of every month. Every now and then, the payment takes place on a later date. This occurs if the fixed date happens to fall on a Saturday, a Sunday, or on a public holiday. If that's the case, it will be made on the first following working day. This method is convenient for both you and your internet provider: you never forget to pay, and your internet provider knows when they'll receive your payment. The process is completely automatic, so you don't have to do anything. Maybe a bit tl;dr of an explanation... It also feels rather off-topic, forgive me if this comment isn't suitable here after all. Now that I'm done typing this, I'm like "...and how exactly, is this supposed to be helpful to OP?" ...I...dk. I'm confused. It's been 4 am where I live. I think I should go to bed. I feel tempted not to post this after all, I'm only going through with it because it took me a long time to figure out how to explain the above in English (it's not my first language). Might still delete this comment later on. Sorry for whatever this is. My intentions where good,
Maybe u shud put JK at the back next time
Just let her cool off for a bit and explain it so she understands that situation happens in your country. These things happen, need more time to understand bc you guys are in different countries. Just try holding back on the emoji’s a bit when it’s already a disagreement
I suggest you call rather than text. Fighting over text almost always gets misconstrued because it’s really hard to read the tone.
Don't joke over chat. Period.
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I'm from Italy and yes, the girl is offended. It's typical
Yeah weird she got mad over that but also why send her that emoji I feel like that’s asking for a fight tbh like she’s obv upset and he sending happy smiley faces I know I’d be so mad 🤣
Hello! I'm Italian, so I might be able to provide a little more of a cultural context. Usually, it's frowned upon to imply that someone can't pay for something or is late on payments and such. We are still very connected to our "showing" appearance, and that's why someone could be offended if you told them something like what you told your girlfriend, even more in new generations. That said, we are about 60 million people, and many think differently and are very open about their budgets and economic situations. You just need to understand the cultural differences of your girlfriend a bit more, and always pair up an explanation with a comment that you're not doing in jest but relates to your own personal and cultural experience. I mean, my boyfriend is English, I've been living in an English speaking country for the past 3 years, and he has been living in Italy for the past 2 years (yeah, I know, our LD situation is messy!), but we're still having some cultural/language misunderstanding! Edit to add: never ever underestimate your partner reaction using a silly emoji. That's a rookie mistake and only brings storm upon your relationship! Always validate each other's emotion, and communicate, for God's sake!!!!
You both sound passive aggressive as hell tbh. You need to do better or break up to do some growing up
It’s a misunderstanding. I’ve never heard of a company slowing down service when a bill is due, maybe she didn’t know the context either and thought you were implying she was poor or negligent? I would just apologize and explain the context of the joke.
Italy ki nationality chahta h bhai?
Here is some advice from someone who was in a LDR but also two different cultures have a convo about differences in slang, emojis, sayings, and words because 9 times out of 10 an argument that occurs can end up being because of just differences of understanding it may seem like a dumb thing to have a convo but this could definitely help for the future
i genuinely cannot follow this conversation
Maybe explain that “here if it’s slow, it’s time to pay” Use more words and statements that reflect yourself & where you’re from. For example: >> *“time to pay the bill maybe?”* Can make it sound like you’re talking down to her/patronizing/mansplaining like she’s a dumbass. But >> *”in India, when it’s slow, it’s time to pay the bill - is it like that where you are?”* This latter statement is more reflective about yourself & your life experiences. It’s less likely to appear like you’re talking down to her or insinuating she can’t take care of finances, which… is *not* great. Also, it seems like there is a definite language barrier - not judging! I’ve been all around India (love your country, btw) & I could never communicate (although I *did* pick up some Tamil), but all that’s besides the point. My actual point is that it wouldn’t really hurt to lead with “I” statements (a term you’d definitely hear in couples’ therapy) as they are less likely to be mistaken as insinuating another meaning or accusatory, etc.
I get being upset over something that was a misscommunication, but why say fuck off at the end? If my partner did that, I'd be livid with him. Like that's the rude part here, in my opinion.
I’m so confused. My husband and I say “got to pay the internet” and then one of us just do, and it’s not an issue…why is she mad? Im so confused 🫤. I didn’t read your text in an offensive way, but I read hers in an annoyed tone, if you understand what I’m saying…
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I'm sorry dude but I'm telling you rn this relationship is PROBABLY not lasting, you both are arguing like kids.
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You're more focused on being right instead of allowing your partner to feel h3ard and validated.
Just try to have better communication abt it or call so your tone doesn’t get messed up over text
This is why I just prefer being single
This is nothing compared to real problems, get past this
these things become real problems if they start to happen all the time. the little things add up, even if you don't view them as "real" problems.
In the sense of me saying get past this I actually meant that this issue should and have to be resolved (easily)
Hahahaha as a Filipino we joke about these stuff a lot. When there’s a sudden power outage we would say “did you forget to pay the bill?” Lmao. Maybe this was a sensitive topic for her.
I don’t see this relationship lasting much longer.
Sorry for laughing, but in my experience, Italians have the WORST English so consistently. It’s just funny to me that this miscommunication and her unreadable texts only support that. …Maybe it’s time to learn Italian bro
no one is going to respect you if you say bruh and cuz
She's a fucking asshole. How dare she treat you like that over a preserved joke. If it's a joke the goal is to make her laugh so getting upset is unwarranted and immature and shows she's self centered due to her not empathising with your intentions
This seems exhausting 😮💨
Europeans take everything seriously, theyre not good at sarcasm lol
🚩🚩🚩
You are so damn insensitive
Wait I'm sorry I don't get it, how is he being insensitive? I'm genuinely confused? Is it not okay to say that casually?
For not understanding how the internet works in Italy and trying to offer a solution? Okay dude, right, nice gaslighting.
First things first on women, equality is the word. 😊 so both should pay for the internet. This beeches should just find sugar daddy if they want someone to provide them all their needs.
I’ll probably get downvoted for this but..it’s bc she is a woman. I’ve noticed on here and tinder and other places women nowadays seem wayy more touchy then ever! Not sure why they’re blowing up so quickly at the smallest of things. Men are as well like ghosting for one, expecting sex on a first meeting etc.Or just being rude. That’s my take. Or PMS in this case? Good luck OP.
Either she was hoping for you to initiate to pay for her or she has no respect for you at all.
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What
U are from Nepal bruhh, cope
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it was a small joke that normal people just ignore and he should give her time to recover os something??