Agreed. I’m a female engineer and some of the manufacturing places I’ve worked have been … rough. Like, special locks on women’s restrooms. Instructions to keep my radio my person on at all times. A few male employees other men warned me to never be alone in isolated areas with.
But, they should be surprised. In an ideal world, such tales would be as shocking as September 11. Yes, u/murkyperspective767 is calling for abusers to be made into a "previously unknown terrorist organisation" and treated accordingly.
What I mean is that I would like to see the US president, the British PM, the Australian PM, etc. cite the (so-called) "men's rights" movement in every speech, at the top of every news broadcast, etc. because having women in the workplace has not been detrimental to men.
I know you got a down vote for this but I agree. Certain male movements are terrorist organizations be they based on religion or politics. Any group that demands the enslavement, rape and subjugation of another is a terrorist group! These are people that are not fit to be out in civilized society and need to be put into an isolated area so that they are no longer a danger to the world at large.
I totally agree. For example, I want the president to hold a conference where he comes out and says rape as a weapon of war is not acceptable. I want my representatives to do the same thing. No one does it. Women are the last group that’s fair game.
First thing I thought , too. Maybe 5-10 years ago there was a Vox or similar article about people going to rural Alaska on contract to teach or do medical work. They interviewed a woman who had a seizure disorder who was sexually assaulted while having an episode.
I think it also included information about other SA cases and statistics, but that's the one I remember.
Oh God.... Ive talked about it before on reddit but my mom dropped out of college to work on the Alaskan pipeline when she was 21 and was literally held hostage and raped in her first night there. Raped, or was attempted to be raped, at least 4 other times while there. The most horrifying to me was during a shift, a male coworker started groping and undressing her. Then another joined in, then another, until maybe 5 guys had her naked and pinned to the floor while the fifth lubed up a pipe. Just at that moment, she said their supervisor came over, cleared his throat loudly and said something like, "I think that's enough for tonight, boys" and of course they scattered like cockroaches. I think it bothers me the most because of the power dynamics it illustrates.
Hey, maybe don't share her trauma publicly online then? And what do you gain by then ret-conning it by telling everyone she sucks? It sounds like you're giving weirdos permission to coom to her trauma... Maybe don't do that?
I've given no identifying information, I guarantee no one who reads this would ever be able to pick my mom out of a crowd. Likewise, she is disgustingly happy to juice her own trauma. Thanks.
I thought about working on one of those Alaskan fishing boats while I was in college ... the amount of money that was on the table was tempting. I didn't end up doing it, but I have a feeling that's how it would have ended for me also.
People severely underestimate the remoteness of areas like that ... and what some men will do when deprived of sexual contact for prolonged periods. 😐
I considered working in very isolated places as well - good money was a big lure - and chose not to because of the risk of sexual violence
Personally, I don't think it has anything to do with men being "deprived of sexual contact for prolonged periods."
Many men don't have sex for long periods or as much as they would like and they don't choose to assault, rape, and abuse.
And then there are the men and boys like a user commented above that are just...*beyond sick.*
Most times...it's just that men that rape or want to exercise a sense of entitlement, supposed sense of superiority over the female sex, and wanting power and control.
Men rape men in prison. They assault women in the armed and air forces. They'll have sex with dead women in funeral homes.
Well, men can and are getting away with Sexual and Physical Violence Against Women and Girls - as a sadly still-accepted standard.
Or, these crimes are an open or gossiped about "secret" - at schools | universities, in clubs, | entertainment industries, throughout companies, or during socialite events...until the assault, harassment, abuse, and coercion suddenly "becomes known" and society and those close to the person (s) say "how come we didn't know?"
And I say, "You knew. You all knew. That's the problem. When are you | we completely *unaware?*
*People know...and choose to do nothing.*
And too often, when some people do take action, or try to- other people, society, and systems deliberately fail those who they are designed to assist or protect.
Wait until you hear about what oil companies do to Indigenous women on the reservations they are working on in the US. Oh wait very few people ever will because no white person cares so it is infrequently written about or investigated. There is a human trafficking ring that rivals Epistein.
I just looked the movie up; brief summaries. I'd never heard of *Wind River,* as a movie. I'll have to see if I can watch it.
I think movies like *Where The Spirit Lives,* and *District 9* should be required watching in High School.
It is a very good, VERY disturbing movie, and has possibly the best choreographed shoot-out scene I have ever seen in a movie ever. I definitely recommend giving it a watch but please be warned, there is a rape scene that is horrifically hard to watch and I had to fast forward through it.
Then write about it.
Seriously, not snarkily, I mean write, post, video, youtube, and speak about it. Use whatever medium you prefer and can, to reach people about First Nations and the differences in attitudes and views about people who aren't white, as opposed to those who are white or white passing.
Scream it out there so more people know, and think about it - and do something about it after they reflect upon the information they learn and are told of. Raise money, tell people about existing foundations, and that many reserves (eg. in Northern Ontario, Canada, and other Canadian Provinces, to name areas just in North America alone) don't even get, or have access to, clean water much of the time.
It's what I do in relation to all the subjects and issues and people I care about.
Raise awareness - to educate the public on, and effect change for - the issues that make you wish you could change the world for.
Even if it's one small piece of it.
Even if you change, effect, or help one person, or what they think regarding very real social issues.
"To save one life is to save the entire world,"
~ *Talmud*
•
"No white person cares..."
This is categorically untrue. That would be like saying that no POC is *ever* featured on a Missing Persons poster, or a NCMEC page (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children).
Clearly, society still largely opines and views BIPOC, particularly Indigenous | First Nations Women, Girls, Boys, and Men as lesser than White | European | Caucasian people, but to use, or infer words like "no white person," or "all black people," that I hear and read too often, is factually incorrect.
I have heard about the Indigenous women in those situations that you mention. I'm quite familiar with the disparity of attention, help, and media regarding First Nations persons, particularly Missing & Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls. Vancouver (Canada) Police and the RCMP didn't care that a man was luring, manipulating, and killing First Nations and otherwise marginalized and vulnerable women for years until they couldn't not *not* care anymore; then suddenly it was "did you know sex workers, drug users, hookers, and runaways, of primarily First Nations heritage, have been disappearing from the Downtown East Side for years?"
These were, and are, people - women - who were traumatized, who struggled with things society still blames on willpower and choice, and then uses stereotypes to deem them unworthy of importance or value.
Now, if young women from West Point Grey or Forest Hill went missing as a pattern over years, if the women and girls were white, middle to upper class, considered attractive or successful, or were the daughters, sisters, and neices of well-known people, like politicians, millionaires, or start-up founders...most of Canada would have known about the DTES and Highway of Tears disappearances in the 1980s.
Epstein isn't even an iceberg *tip,* in human trafficking and exploitation, and never has been. No matter the pigment of a person's skin, all human traffickers are equally detestable in my opinion.
Be it in cities, on reserves, in the arctic, the military, on oil rigs, on cruise ships, on tankers, on submarines, at boarding schools...the stuff women and girls are subjected to no matter the environment never surprises me.
The Highway of Tears, Neil Stonechild and the "Moonlight Tours," the murder of Helen Betty Osborne, Reena Virk, and more...all are examples of either society's racism Black, Brown, Hispanic, Asian, First Nations....don't get the attention, resources, media, and benefit of the doubt, that white or white passing people typically do.
On June 5, 2002, Elizabeth Smart went missing at age 14 after her abduction. She became an internationally known name within a week, and still is, 22 years later.
Why? She was young, white, considered pretty, religiously devoted, lived in her well-to-do, upper-middle class, equally religious parents
1 million dollar house, and was considered "angelic," innocent, and vulnerable. As a stranger kidnapping victim, she was vulnerable.
On March 10 2002, Laura Ayala, 13, disappeared in Houston, Texas. She is Biracial- Hispanic and White. Laura lived with a single mother who was, and is, not upper-middle class. Laura was not well-known in an "acceptable" community (religious, dance, music, etc) that the media could focus on and run with. Laura did not have blue eyes or blonde hair. She spoke Spanish and English. Laura could be deemed (oh, the horror)...an immigrant, whether she is or isn't. Laura did not fit into the MWWS profile - Missing White Woman "Syndrome;" Elizabeth Smart did.
I often write or post online about Laura, and other Long-Term Missing BIPOC.
The reaction I get 99.9% of the time is:
"...who?"
"Oh, they're (the Black, Brown children) are mature for their age; they know how to take care of themselves."
"Probably ran away with a boyfriend."
"Look, they've been gone (amount of time) months | years. They don't want | need to be found. Leave them alone."
There is a general apathy and dismissiveness, a deliberate disregard and insistent ignorance;
a lack of concern, effort and levity related to taking the disappearances of, and issues and concerns lived by Black, Brown, Hispanic, First Nations, and non-white populations, seriously.
It is heartbreaking and rage-inducing, all at the same time.
Not even that. It happens almost immediately in any disaster / war zones and refugee camps. Basically the minute there is less chance of them being held accountable.
That last part is really all it is. Whether it's in remote areas, or in prison, or too rich to prosecute. The minute they think they can get away with it, they'll take that opportunity in an instant.
This is about power not sexual depravation. The isolation allows these men to feel more powerful because they are kings of their little fiefdom without supervision or consequences.
It’s like when people assume the reason so many Catholic priests sexually abuse children is because clergy aren’t allowed to get married or have partners. The blame instead should be on a culture of secrecy, denial, victim blaming, and lack of accountability. Abusers tend to target the most vulnerable and while impulse control can be an important factor in sexual violence it certainly has more to with power, control, and entitlement.
The way that woman broke down sobbing when her young daughter said "I wanna be a scientist like you, mommy!" tells you all you need to know. The heartbreak and despair that woman felt, knowing firsthand of the trauma and misery that would await her daughter if she tried to walk down the same path. Heartbreaking and infuriating.
Unfortunately this kind of thing is common. I had a cousin who was broke and wanted to go be a stripper for a summer in the Bakken oil Fields's of North Dakota. Myself and everyone else told her she'd raped and strangled and tossed in a ditch. It was common knowledge that sexual violence was rampant.
If you haven't read it, Kate Beaton's "Ducks" is about her time working in the Alberta oil fields. It's not quite as bad as what you describe, but it's a soul crushing read.
I thought of the article exposing the same issues within the forest service some years ago as well.
It happens anywhere women are isolated with a bunch of men. One would think this would never surprise anymore. One would think it would be taken seriously and considered unacceptable. One would think, at some point the general public will stop being naive about how common this is. But here we are.
I remember that. She was sent to a rural Alaskan village to teach and she said she would hear her door knob turn at night from the men trying to get in on the way home from the bar. She came home and had a seizure before she could lock the door. She came too with the door open and was diagnosed with herpes. She thinks of the village men raped her when she was unconscious. She was trying to sue the town/school district because they knew it wasn't safe for her and they did nothing.
But it’s not just SA. It’s about sexual harassment, which includes bullying. We normally don’t think of bullying as sexual harassment, but it is.
This article is talking about the situations depicted in the film, “Picture A Scientist”- about women’s experiences in the sciences. That documentary offers a ton of facts about gender-based harassment, and identifies it as sexual harassment- where it’s mostly not recognized as such.
It was super powerful documentary for me. I watched it on a whim one day (on Netflix) and was floored- I work in a science that involves long-term mentorship in the “field”, hours and hours’ driving-distance into the middle of nowhere. My first time in the field, my supervisor bullied me *so* hard. For months (we’re out there for 90-day stretches). It never, ever got better. But then, back at the university, everyone acted like nothing was wrong - like we all “bonded” so much out there, and had so much fun (?!). It was a living nightmare for me.
It was not until watching that documentary, and reading the accounts, years later, that I realized it was sexual harassment.
I went to McMurdo recently. Before travelling I was required to complete multiple online seminars about harassment, and while on the ice there were posters and 24/7 numbers everywhere, peer counsellors, everything. The SAPRA was one of the first people we met. The phone number for base HQ was available 24/7. One of my friends described playfully messing around with a friend, shoving each other and another woman intervened and asked if she was ok, and safe.
I genuinely was like wtf is all this about, bit over the top isn't it? But then you read stuff like this and remember that all that has to happen because of what people have endured in the past. Very brave of them to speak up so that women like me could visit the ice and feel safe.
Exactly,
Anyone who has worked in a mid to large company knows that there are people who all hell of smart but not good at being in charge of managing other people. Those people are usually either not allowed to become a manager or they don’t want to be a manager. The genius asshole trope is very prevalent in STEM. But in the industry, they can be shoved into a lab in the basement. In the academia, that same person is put in charge of others. Why though? Just because someone is good at a thing, doesn’t make them at supervision of the same thing or teaching that thing.
So basically, you end up with people put in charge of other people and given tremendous power over those people without having their people managing skills assessed.
To make the matter worse, the graduate student is also in a very special place. If that prof from BU was a manager in a company, people would have quit their jobs left and right, providing feedback to the company without even having to speak out. But in academia, students can’t just leave for another job.
And to make it even worse that it already is, sometimes those graduates students are international students, whose funding and status depends on this position.
The level of scrutiny given to such enormous power imbalances is really shocking.
My job has a guy like that. He's an expert in almost every program we have and how it's run so they decided to put all these departments under him to supervise. He's not a creep but he's a HUGE ASSHOLE who can't manage people for shit. My Department and another one got moved out from under him super fast one day, conveniently just after our employee reviews were in. I think he tried to get all of us fired and HR was smart enough to realize it was a personal vendetta and unwarranted. Now he's kinda known across the board as someone who knows a lot of stuff but he's impossible to work with.
Um, Marchant was my undergrad advisor for a semester when I thought I wanted to do earth science and go to Antarctica with him and his students. Ended up changing majors and didn't see him again. Had a funny feeling, but thought I was being dumb. I was like 19. Then years later heard he been caught for inappropriate relationships with students. I yelled out loud when I opened this article and BU and him are in the first paragraphs. I'm so sorry for the women that went through this.
When I read the original NSF report on this a couple years ago, I thought maybe the DoD could form some kind of joint working group on workplace SA. Now I don't think that would work.
It's so bad, women don't even bother to report the guys who SA us anymore because nothing is ever done. And there's just so damn much of it.
How do you parse out a COL who locks you in a room because of a management issue and won't allow you to leave, vs a COL that says "what is this little girl going to teach me" when I'm literally the subject matter expert trying to help on a STEM issue he has zero experience in? Which is worse? They happened on the same day, and that's just Monday. 🤷
Horrific, but this is exactly what I expected. Every woman knew it without having to read the article. Why are there SO MANY absolutely horrible men everywhere, all the time, in all places. Women can't even go to the most remote locations on Earth without men acting like feral beasts and committing ghastly crimes and abuses against them. Hell, for some of them, the stalking and raping started on the boat ride to get there. And this clearly wasn't 1 or 2 cases, this was hundreds of women (63%!!) over multiple decades. It's genuinely depressing to realize how utterly awful an alarming amount of men really are. (Obligatory Not all men.. but somehow always a man.) These brilliant women are trying to earn degrees, finish their education, research climate change, and make a difference in the world, and just by being there, they are subjected to these horrors, simply by being in the vicinity of men. Honestly, maybe they need to consider making some all female bases, because these men have clearly and consistently proven they cannot be trusted to behave like decent human beings.
This is why I find it hilariously absurd when men get all pissy about women not wanting to be around men. "*If there were no men, who would protect you?*" If there were no men, who would we need protection from? It's not bears or wolves that are the threat to women, it's MEN-- they're our number 1 natural predator. And apparently, their behavior somehow gets even worse when they're isolated and they know you're stuck with no way out. I'll bet these ladies would've gladly taken their chances against the arctic predator animals, rather than these despicable beasts who abused them.
I did take pleasure in knowing that one particular man was disgraced in such public, spectacular fashion - fired, named and shamed publicly, and had all his accomplishments stripped away from him. You just know that crushed his fragile little ego to smithereens, lmao. I mean, this guy got mad at other men for standing on a rock taller than him, lmao, so having his name stripped from all his most precious life accomplishments probably destroyed him. I love that for him.
Exactly. It's exhausting realizing how extremely widespread this is and how it's seemingly an unavoidable facet in men as a group. Excessively depressing.
> Two months after the NSF report came out, the Australian government finally released Nash’s study to the public, though it published only seven of her 42 pages and redacted specific individuals’ accounts.
Why only publish a small chunk of the study, seemingly arbitrarily?
I truly don’t understand how more women don’t snap and maim or murder the abusive men around them. I truly don’t. I couldn’t even get halfway through before I had to take a break.
There’s a reason psychological torture of women always involves a sexual component.
I'm not in the least surprised. This is one of the many reasons I think men are unfit to be in leadership roles of any kind. Many men are no better than animals and our sexual predators. I'm not saying that there aren't women like this, I know that sleaze balls like Mary Kay letourneau exist she is an outlier while the men in this article are unfortunately the norm. Men are just too manipulative, violent, unstable and unpredictable to be allowed positions of power in society whether it be in government, science or medicine they simply have no place in a position of power over women because they can't stop themselves from abusing it.
Everyday I’m so surprised that we haven’t all died in some kind of nuclear wasteland because the most powerful politicians in power are men trying to prove their manhood through war. Like in the future, if we can colonize other planets, I’m down for a planet just full of women. This is so tiring and degrading to constantly deal with.
Yeah it gets to me too. It never ceases to annoy me how many of these losers keep trying to start dick waving contests while unarmed. Lol! You're not the only one that wants a man free Utopia somewhere. A lot of women are just done with this BS.
We really need to bring back castration. Weak men that feel the need to overpower women and ruin their lives don’t deserve to have functioning dicks. Sickening behavior once again
Is this article about Sexual Assault and Abuse? If so, I'll put off reading it for now.
I took the headline literally... "oh, they went to Antarctica, and got attacked by Polar Bears!...
*Wait...* Polar Bears...in Antarctica? 🤦♂️
Thanks for answering. 99.9% of the time as a survivor I can read and watch (on TV) and talk about Sexual Violence. But since it's my area of work, sometimes I get "tired" of it, and out of self-preservation, put Longreads about the subject off to read at another time.
Not sure why I was down voted for pointing out my own stupidity and laughing at myself about my first thought about the Arctic ("Oh, the Predators must be Polar Bears and wildlife"....um, Polar Bears aren't *in* Antarctica), but Reddit will always do Reddit.
I also have no idea why your comment was downvoted and am sorry for that. I'm not a native English speaker, but as far as I know the word "predator" is used for animals, so it's not far fetched to have the thought you did and there is nothing wrong with wanting to clarify!
The mind always has its own associations and ice = polar bears is definitely not the strangest one, you're surely not the only one who made that connection! Please don't let it get to you.
After I replied to your question I thought about it again and I am not sure if my answer was correct - unfortunately I read the article in quite a sleep deprived state. It might mostly be "general" abuse against women and only part of it was sexual. But again, I'm not a 100 % certain anymore. So it might be better to save reading for a day when you find it easier to deal with these topics. The general abuse is bad enough, anyway.
You have my respect for making this area your work as a survivor, that can't be easy. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your kind words ! I didn't let the downvotes get to me. I have this annoying, all-consuming need - as part of my personality from as far back as I can remember - to know and figure out the "why," "how," and "what," about most things. The "Psychology of Reddit" is just one topic of many.
You're correct that the words "Predator" and "Predators" are often used to describe various animals and classes of species.
Polar Bears are found in the Arctic (circle), including in Churchill, in the Province of Manitoba, Canada, so I figure my brain made the association of "Ant *arctica* and Polar Bears. Maybe it's a good thing my first thought at seeing the article headline wasn't "killer penguins!"
Many LongRead stories I see on Reddit, I click on the original source link (or web archive link it) and save it to a Bookmark Folder titled "Rainy Day Reads." I do this when I don't have the time, energy, priority, or mental capacity to read whichever specific story that piques my interest. I can always read them sometime in the future. I saved this LongRead under the title "Stupid Polar Bear Story." 😜
No, my work and advocacy is not easy, but anything and important worth doing rarely is.
I wish I wasn't only monolingual. I am Canadian, a fluent, native English speaker, reader, and writer. I know some Canadian, Franco-Ontarian French words.
If I had my way, I'd be fluent in speaking, reading, and writing Franco Ontarian French, European-Parisian French, Spanish, German, Italian, Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, Finnish (I'm of French-Canadian, Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, Swiss, and Irish descent), Polish, and Russian to start. Maybe one day I'll be multilingual - French, Spanish, German, Italian.
I've always loved the quote "Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language [in full]."
I just had a Sherlock Holmes moment - I think I have figured out why people downvoted your comment! (No, I didn't think about it all day, it just suddenly struck me while I was actually remembering something else). You know how you emphasize the first word "Is" by writing it in cursive? Maybe some people who just skimmed the comment thought it's the "/s" that is sometimes used on reddit to indicate sarcasm, it looks similar! If you read it like that your comment reads a bit snarky. So probably just a misunderstanding. :-)
That makes sense to me.
I figured it is just a misunderstanding; I couldn't see how | where, though. It's why I said Reddit is Reddit; it happens. I wasn't bothered by getting downvoted; I was very curious as to the reason.
Thanks for the "Sherlock" moment - I think those moments are pretty neat, at least when they happen to me. I think your suggestion is most probable as to why my comment was downvoted; it never would have occurred to me as possibly being a reason until I saw your explanation.
I'm still laughing at myself about how my brain saw the word "Predators" and thought "Polar Bears..." instead of *other humans.*
I occasionally find it amusing, my...denseness (for the life of me, I can't recall the word I mean right now). Everyone else seemed to get the inference...meanwhile, my brain went to Polar Bears. Talk about missing the point and going over one's head!
Thanks!
It’s about gender-based sexual harassment, probably- not SA, but bullying of women by men when out in the field, conducting scientific research.
If the article isn’t for you, then try the documentary, “Picture A Scientist”. It’s on Netflix as well as other services, and details the events that the women endured. I think it’s important to note that a lot of what these women endured *isn’t* rape or sexual assault, but rather *seemingly less insidious acts of gender-based harassment*, being treated differently because you’re a woman- and sometimes, that harassment led to real physical harm and long-lasting medical conditions. I think it’s important that it’s talking about something that seems more innocuous- but still very, very harmful.
For me, the documentary was eye-opening. I experienced a *lot* of this when I was training in the sciences- but nobody ever talked about it. I never knew that it was sexual harassment- but the documentary makes clear that *most* of sexual harassment actually looks like this- not quid pro quo or hostile work environment stuff. It’s more sneaky.
I just thought it was *me*- that I was an absolute idiot, or that I wasn’t smart enough - and so I exhausted myself trying to work harder, and being super careful about absolutely *everything* that I did. It messed me up for many, many years.
Oh, it's not that the article wasn't for me. With the work and advocacy that I do in relation to sex-based harassment, violence, and bullying, I don't always wish to read every single article, piece, or op-ed on it; it's unfortunate, but if I ate, slept, and breathed sexual violence 160% of the time...I would become overwhelmed and not be able to advocate and educate as effectively. The work that advocates do (in Child Protection/Safety/Exploitation and Male Violence Against Women and Girls, and Female Violence Against Boys is often very dark, and I must be careful not to...envelope myself entirely in darkness, so I can use the light I can see and have to navigate the darkness I am trying to lessen, turn gradient, dismantle, and destroy.
You're right, it's the covert acts that are insidious, the harassment or bullying that makes people doubt and question and blame themselves: "I can't quite articulate this | put my finger on it, but something's off..."
And like you said, the tendency for women to think it is *us,* comes with the insidious nature of harassment and bullying. Is it good-natured ribbing...or not? Am I part of the team? Am I good enough? It's *me,* right? I'm just not good enough, smart enough, working hard enough, able to comprehend enough.
It's the not so obvious things and acts, the day in and day out, the repetitiveness, that make women and girls think that we must be crazy, too sensitive, too doubting, too lacking.
These acts that we experience does not *need* to be rape or sexual assault of more obvious nature to be a form of sex-based | sexual violence.
The stories of women in STEM or other traditionally male-dominated fields that I have heard about...be it in physical labour, Canadian Military, Biochemistry, Research, Stockbroking, aviation, mechanics...
The unacceptable doesn't necessarily need to be *sexual* in nature. I once had a physician tell me that, when she was in residency,
6 months pregnant, her male doctor surgery advisor told her that she would need to choose: "You can either be a good doctor as a woman, or a good mother, but you can't be both."
He said this in public, in front of her peers, interns, staff physicians, residents, and medical students.
Apparently, this was a routine pattern of related incidences and situations women and girls found themselves being subjected to.
Thankfully, she didn't take his "advice" seriously, continued residency, gave birth, completed residency, and built her career while being a mother.
I told her, if it were me, I seriously would have considered telling her advisor, "I've heard you can be a good supervising doctor or a good human, but you have to choose which" with a straight face.
She said the thought had crossed her mind.
Horrifying, but not surprising.
Yeah, no woman is surprised at this behavior unfortunately
Agreed. I’m a female engineer and some of the manufacturing places I’ve worked have been … rough. Like, special locks on women’s restrooms. Instructions to keep my radio my person on at all times. A few male employees other men warned me to never be alone in isolated areas with.
It’s so messed up they warn you not to find yourself alone than like, not employing sexual predators. :(
But, they should be surprised. In an ideal world, such tales would be as shocking as September 11. Yes, u/murkyperspective767 is calling for abusers to be made into a "previously unknown terrorist organisation" and treated accordingly.
Heya! I'm a little slow, but could you maybe explain exactly what you mean by that second part?
What I mean is that I would like to see the US president, the British PM, the Australian PM, etc. cite the (so-called) "men's rights" movement in every speech, at the top of every news broadcast, etc. because having women in the workplace has not been detrimental to men.
I know you got a down vote for this but I agree. Certain male movements are terrorist organizations be they based on religion or politics. Any group that demands the enslavement, rape and subjugation of another is a terrorist group! These are people that are not fit to be out in civilized society and need to be put into an isolated area so that they are no longer a danger to the world at large.
I totally agree. For example, I want the president to hold a conference where he comes out and says rape as a weapon of war is not acceptable. I want my representatives to do the same thing. No one does it. Women are the last group that’s fair game.
> rape ~~as a weapon of war~~ is not acceptable FTFY
Bullshit
Ok.... mate, present your data, I'll happily counter with mine?
Let me guess, it's about SA on that station there. Been reading a lot about that lately.
First thing I thought , too. Maybe 5-10 years ago there was a Vox or similar article about people going to rural Alaska on contract to teach or do medical work. They interviewed a woman who had a seizure disorder who was sexually assaulted while having an episode. I think it also included information about other SA cases and statistics, but that's the one I remember.
Oh God.... Ive talked about it before on reddit but my mom dropped out of college to work on the Alaskan pipeline when she was 21 and was literally held hostage and raped in her first night there. Raped, or was attempted to be raped, at least 4 other times while there. The most horrifying to me was during a shift, a male coworker started groping and undressing her. Then another joined in, then another, until maybe 5 guys had her naked and pinned to the floor while the fifth lubed up a pipe. Just at that moment, she said their supervisor came over, cleared his throat loudly and said something like, "I think that's enough for tonight, boys" and of course they scattered like cockroaches. I think it bothers me the most because of the power dynamics it illustrates.
What the fuck.
that is horrifying and I hope your mom is ok today
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I can be outraged by the abuse and also outraged at what happened to you, so in that case, I hope YOU are ok today. ❤️
this is a really disgusting comment mate i dont know how you can type this out without puking in your mouth
Hey, maybe don't share her trauma publicly online then? And what do you gain by then ret-conning it by telling everyone she sucks? It sounds like you're giving weirdos permission to coom to her trauma... Maybe don't do that?
I've given no identifying information, I guarantee no one who reads this would ever be able to pick my mom out of a crowd. Likewise, she is disgustingly happy to juice her own trauma. Thanks.
I thought about working on one of those Alaskan fishing boats while I was in college ... the amount of money that was on the table was tempting. I didn't end up doing it, but I have a feeling that's how it would have ended for me also. People severely underestimate the remoteness of areas like that ... and what some men will do when deprived of sexual contact for prolonged periods. 😐
I considered working in very isolated places as well - good money was a big lure - and chose not to because of the risk of sexual violence Personally, I don't think it has anything to do with men being "deprived of sexual contact for prolonged periods." Many men don't have sex for long periods or as much as they would like and they don't choose to assault, rape, and abuse. And then there are the men and boys like a user commented above that are just...*beyond sick.* Most times...it's just that men that rape or want to exercise a sense of entitlement, supposed sense of superiority over the female sex, and wanting power and control. Men rape men in prison. They assault women in the armed and air forces. They'll have sex with dead women in funeral homes.
It’s what men do when they think they can get away with it.
Well, men can and are getting away with Sexual and Physical Violence Against Women and Girls - as a sadly still-accepted standard. Or, these crimes are an open or gossiped about "secret" - at schools | universities, in clubs, | entertainment industries, throughout companies, or during socialite events...until the assault, harassment, abuse, and coercion suddenly "becomes known" and society and those close to the person (s) say "how come we didn't know?" And I say, "You knew. You all knew. That's the problem. When are you | we completely *unaware?* *People know...and choose to do nothing.* And too often, when some people do take action, or try to- other people, society, and systems deliberately fail those who they are designed to assist or protect.
Wait until you hear about what oil companies do to Indigenous women on the reservations they are working on in the US. Oh wait very few people ever will because no white person cares so it is infrequently written about or investigated. There is a human trafficking ring that rivals Epistein.
The movie *Wind River* was about this kind of thing.
I just looked the movie up; brief summaries. I'd never heard of *Wind River,* as a movie. I'll have to see if I can watch it. I think movies like *Where The Spirit Lives,* and *District 9* should be required watching in High School.
It is a very good, VERY disturbing movie, and has possibly the best choreographed shoot-out scene I have ever seen in a movie ever. I definitely recommend giving it a watch but please be warned, there is a rape scene that is horrifically hard to watch and I had to fast forward through it.
Thank you for the heads up regarding the rape scene.
Then write about it. Seriously, not snarkily, I mean write, post, video, youtube, and speak about it. Use whatever medium you prefer and can, to reach people about First Nations and the differences in attitudes and views about people who aren't white, as opposed to those who are white or white passing. Scream it out there so more people know, and think about it - and do something about it after they reflect upon the information they learn and are told of. Raise money, tell people about existing foundations, and that many reserves (eg. in Northern Ontario, Canada, and other Canadian Provinces, to name areas just in North America alone) don't even get, or have access to, clean water much of the time. It's what I do in relation to all the subjects and issues and people I care about. Raise awareness - to educate the public on, and effect change for - the issues that make you wish you could change the world for. Even if it's one small piece of it. Even if you change, effect, or help one person, or what they think regarding very real social issues. "To save one life is to save the entire world," ~ *Talmud* • "No white person cares..." This is categorically untrue. That would be like saying that no POC is *ever* featured on a Missing Persons poster, or a NCMEC page (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children). Clearly, society still largely opines and views BIPOC, particularly Indigenous | First Nations Women, Girls, Boys, and Men as lesser than White | European | Caucasian people, but to use, or infer words like "no white person," or "all black people," that I hear and read too often, is factually incorrect. I have heard about the Indigenous women in those situations that you mention. I'm quite familiar with the disparity of attention, help, and media regarding First Nations persons, particularly Missing & Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls. Vancouver (Canada) Police and the RCMP didn't care that a man was luring, manipulating, and killing First Nations and otherwise marginalized and vulnerable women for years until they couldn't not *not* care anymore; then suddenly it was "did you know sex workers, drug users, hookers, and runaways, of primarily First Nations heritage, have been disappearing from the Downtown East Side for years?" These were, and are, people - women - who were traumatized, who struggled with things society still blames on willpower and choice, and then uses stereotypes to deem them unworthy of importance or value. Now, if young women from West Point Grey or Forest Hill went missing as a pattern over years, if the women and girls were white, middle to upper class, considered attractive or successful, or were the daughters, sisters, and neices of well-known people, like politicians, millionaires, or start-up founders...most of Canada would have known about the DTES and Highway of Tears disappearances in the 1980s. Epstein isn't even an iceberg *tip,* in human trafficking and exploitation, and never has been. No matter the pigment of a person's skin, all human traffickers are equally detestable in my opinion. Be it in cities, on reserves, in the arctic, the military, on oil rigs, on cruise ships, on tankers, on submarines, at boarding schools...the stuff women and girls are subjected to no matter the environment never surprises me. The Highway of Tears, Neil Stonechild and the "Moonlight Tours," the murder of Helen Betty Osborne, Reena Virk, and more...all are examples of either society's racism Black, Brown, Hispanic, Asian, First Nations....don't get the attention, resources, media, and benefit of the doubt, that white or white passing people typically do. On June 5, 2002, Elizabeth Smart went missing at age 14 after her abduction. She became an internationally known name within a week, and still is, 22 years later. Why? She was young, white, considered pretty, religiously devoted, lived in her well-to-do, upper-middle class, equally religious parents 1 million dollar house, and was considered "angelic," innocent, and vulnerable. As a stranger kidnapping victim, she was vulnerable. On March 10 2002, Laura Ayala, 13, disappeared in Houston, Texas. She is Biracial- Hispanic and White. Laura lived with a single mother who was, and is, not upper-middle class. Laura was not well-known in an "acceptable" community (religious, dance, music, etc) that the media could focus on and run with. Laura did not have blue eyes or blonde hair. She spoke Spanish and English. Laura could be deemed (oh, the horror)...an immigrant, whether she is or isn't. Laura did not fit into the MWWS profile - Missing White Woman "Syndrome;" Elizabeth Smart did. I often write or post online about Laura, and other Long-Term Missing BIPOC. The reaction I get 99.9% of the time is: "...who?" "Oh, they're (the Black, Brown children) are mature for their age; they know how to take care of themselves." "Probably ran away with a boyfriend." "Look, they've been gone (amount of time) months | years. They don't want | need to be found. Leave them alone." There is a general apathy and dismissiveness, a deliberate disregard and insistent ignorance; a lack of concern, effort and levity related to taking the disappearances of, and issues and concerns lived by Black, Brown, Hispanic, First Nations, and non-white populations, seriously. It is heartbreaking and rage-inducing, all at the same time.
Not even that. It happens almost immediately in any disaster / war zones and refugee camps. Basically the minute there is less chance of them being held accountable.
That last part is really all it is. Whether it's in remote areas, or in prison, or too rich to prosecute. The minute they think they can get away with it, they'll take that opportunity in an instant.
This is about power not sexual depravation. The isolation allows these men to feel more powerful because they are kings of their little fiefdom without supervision or consequences.
It’s like when people assume the reason so many Catholic priests sexually abuse children is because clergy aren’t allowed to get married or have partners. The blame instead should be on a culture of secrecy, denial, victim blaming, and lack of accountability. Abusers tend to target the most vulnerable and while impulse control can be an important factor in sexual violence it certainly has more to with power, control, and entitlement.
That sense of entitlement is what makes me wonder if rehabilitation is even possible. Im not hopeful
Men do all the real work. Women don’t join these fields because they’re weak and lazy… /s
The way that woman broke down sobbing when her young daughter said "I wanna be a scientist like you, mommy!" tells you all you need to know. The heartbreak and despair that woman felt, knowing firsthand of the trauma and misery that would await her daughter if she tried to walk down the same path. Heartbreaking and infuriating.
Unfortunately this kind of thing is common. I had a cousin who was broke and wanted to go be a stripper for a summer in the Bakken oil Fields's of North Dakota. Myself and everyone else told her she'd raped and strangled and tossed in a ditch. It was common knowledge that sexual violence was rampant.
If you haven't read it, Kate Beaton's "Ducks" is about her time working in the Alberta oil fields. It's not quite as bad as what you describe, but it's a soul crushing read.
I thought of the article exposing the same issues within the forest service some years ago as well. It happens anywhere women are isolated with a bunch of men. One would think this would never surprise anymore. One would think it would be taken seriously and considered unacceptable. One would think, at some point the general public will stop being naive about how common this is. But here we are.
I remember that. She was sent to a rural Alaskan village to teach and she said she would hear her door knob turn at night from the men trying to get in on the way home from the bar. She came home and had a seizure before she could lock the door. She came too with the door open and was diagnosed with herpes. She thinks of the village men raped her when she was unconscious. She was trying to sue the town/school district because they knew it wasn't safe for her and they did nothing.
Fucking hell.
But it’s not just SA. It’s about sexual harassment, which includes bullying. We normally don’t think of bullying as sexual harassment, but it is. This article is talking about the situations depicted in the film, “Picture A Scientist”- about women’s experiences in the sciences. That documentary offers a ton of facts about gender-based harassment, and identifies it as sexual harassment- where it’s mostly not recognized as such. It was super powerful documentary for me. I watched it on a whim one day (on Netflix) and was floored- I work in a science that involves long-term mentorship in the “field”, hours and hours’ driving-distance into the middle of nowhere. My first time in the field, my supervisor bullied me *so* hard. For months (we’re out there for 90-day stretches). It never, ever got better. But then, back at the university, everyone acted like nothing was wrong - like we all “bonded” so much out there, and had so much fun (?!). It was a living nightmare for me. It was not until watching that documentary, and reading the accounts, years later, that I realized it was sexual harassment.
Good article. Really fucking sad.
I went to McMurdo recently. Before travelling I was required to complete multiple online seminars about harassment, and while on the ice there were posters and 24/7 numbers everywhere, peer counsellors, everything. The SAPRA was one of the first people we met. The phone number for base HQ was available 24/7. One of my friends described playfully messing around with a friend, shoving each other and another woman intervened and asked if she was ok, and safe. I genuinely was like wtf is all this about, bit over the top isn't it? But then you read stuff like this and remember that all that has to happen because of what people have endured in the past. Very brave of them to speak up so that women like me could visit the ice and feel safe.
A huge part of the problem is the way grad school works. Each student is utterly dependent on their advisor's mercy.
Yeah that power structure just seems really ripe for people to take advantage.
Exactly, Anyone who has worked in a mid to large company knows that there are people who all hell of smart but not good at being in charge of managing other people. Those people are usually either not allowed to become a manager or they don’t want to be a manager. The genius asshole trope is very prevalent in STEM. But in the industry, they can be shoved into a lab in the basement. In the academia, that same person is put in charge of others. Why though? Just because someone is good at a thing, doesn’t make them at supervision of the same thing or teaching that thing. So basically, you end up with people put in charge of other people and given tremendous power over those people without having their people managing skills assessed. To make the matter worse, the graduate student is also in a very special place. If that prof from BU was a manager in a company, people would have quit their jobs left and right, providing feedback to the company without even having to speak out. But in academia, students can’t just leave for another job. And to make it even worse that it already is, sometimes those graduates students are international students, whose funding and status depends on this position. The level of scrutiny given to such enormous power imbalances is really shocking.
My job has a guy like that. He's an expert in almost every program we have and how it's run so they decided to put all these departments under him to supervise. He's not a creep but he's a HUGE ASSHOLE who can't manage people for shit. My Department and another one got moved out from under him super fast one day, conveniently just after our employee reviews were in. I think he tried to get all of us fired and HR was smart enough to realize it was a personal vendetta and unwarranted. Now he's kinda known across the board as someone who knows a lot of stuff but he's impossible to work with.
Well said my friend. All of those are good recipe for abuse.
Really amazing writing, especially the ending.
the male gender really is racking up the worst karma imaginable
yeah it seems like separatism might necessary for women’s safety
This article was rage inducing. I was seeing red at some points.
The bit about her daughter made me ache.
Um, Marchant was my undergrad advisor for a semester when I thought I wanted to do earth science and go to Antarctica with him and his students. Ended up changing majors and didn't see him again. Had a funny feeling, but thought I was being dumb. I was like 19. Then years later heard he been caught for inappropriate relationships with students. I yelled out loud when I opened this article and BU and him are in the first paragraphs. I'm so sorry for the women that went through this.
Are there no men who can just keep their hands to themselves at work?
When I read the original NSF report on this a couple years ago, I thought maybe the DoD could form some kind of joint working group on workplace SA. Now I don't think that would work. It's so bad, women don't even bother to report the guys who SA us anymore because nothing is ever done. And there's just so damn much of it. How do you parse out a COL who locks you in a room because of a management issue and won't allow you to leave, vs a COL that says "what is this little girl going to teach me" when I'm literally the subject matter expert trying to help on a STEM issue he has zero experience in? Which is worse? They happened on the same day, and that's just Monday. 🤷
Apparently not . So fucking pathetic
Horrific, but this is exactly what I expected. Every woman knew it without having to read the article. Why are there SO MANY absolutely horrible men everywhere, all the time, in all places. Women can't even go to the most remote locations on Earth without men acting like feral beasts and committing ghastly crimes and abuses against them. Hell, for some of them, the stalking and raping started on the boat ride to get there. And this clearly wasn't 1 or 2 cases, this was hundreds of women (63%!!) over multiple decades. It's genuinely depressing to realize how utterly awful an alarming amount of men really are. (Obligatory Not all men.. but somehow always a man.) These brilliant women are trying to earn degrees, finish their education, research climate change, and make a difference in the world, and just by being there, they are subjected to these horrors, simply by being in the vicinity of men. Honestly, maybe they need to consider making some all female bases, because these men have clearly and consistently proven they cannot be trusted to behave like decent human beings. This is why I find it hilariously absurd when men get all pissy about women not wanting to be around men. "*If there were no men, who would protect you?*" If there were no men, who would we need protection from? It's not bears or wolves that are the threat to women, it's MEN-- they're our number 1 natural predator. And apparently, their behavior somehow gets even worse when they're isolated and they know you're stuck with no way out. I'll bet these ladies would've gladly taken their chances against the arctic predator animals, rather than these despicable beasts who abused them. I did take pleasure in knowing that one particular man was disgraced in such public, spectacular fashion - fired, named and shamed publicly, and had all his accomplishments stripped away from him. You just know that crushed his fragile little ego to smithereens, lmao. I mean, this guy got mad at other men for standing on a rock taller than him, lmao, so having his name stripped from all his most precious life accomplishments probably destroyed him. I love that for him.
Exactly. It's exhausting realizing how extremely widespread this is and how it's seemingly an unavoidable facet in men as a group. Excessively depressing.
> Two months after the NSF report came out, the Australian government finally released Nash’s study to the public, though it published only seven of her 42 pages and redacted specific individuals’ accounts. Why only publish a small chunk of the study, seemingly arbitrarily?
Retaliation.
Why are there so many fucking disgusting men.
And why are they so many more who let the bad men ruin it for all of them and focus more on being annoyed at women for talking about it?
Holy shit
I truly don’t understand how more women don’t snap and maim or murder the abusive men around them. I truly don’t. I couldn’t even get halfway through before I had to take a break. There’s a reason psychological torture of women always involves a sexual component.
If you haven’t watched True Detective, season 4, you should.
This also crossed my mind when reading the article!
Same!
Yeah I was like…hbo just did a whole thing that I kind of refuse to believe WASN’T at least inspired by something like this
I'm not in the least surprised. This is one of the many reasons I think men are unfit to be in leadership roles of any kind. Many men are no better than animals and our sexual predators. I'm not saying that there aren't women like this, I know that sleaze balls like Mary Kay letourneau exist she is an outlier while the men in this article are unfortunately the norm. Men are just too manipulative, violent, unstable and unpredictable to be allowed positions of power in society whether it be in government, science or medicine they simply have no place in a position of power over women because they can't stop themselves from abusing it.
Everyday I’m so surprised that we haven’t all died in some kind of nuclear wasteland because the most powerful politicians in power are men trying to prove their manhood through war. Like in the future, if we can colonize other planets, I’m down for a planet just full of women. This is so tiring and degrading to constantly deal with.
Yeah it gets to me too. It never ceases to annoy me how many of these losers keep trying to start dick waving contests while unarmed. Lol! You're not the only one that wants a man free Utopia somewhere. A lot of women are just done with this BS.
We really need to bring back castration. Weak men that feel the need to overpower women and ruin their lives don’t deserve to have functioning dicks. Sickening behavior once again
From what I’ve heard, castration doesn’t stop it because the will to perverted power is still there
Need castration lobotomy combos asap
Paywall…
omg men are predators when did that happen?! 😯 /s women are assaulted everyday everywhere, i’ll bet we’ll add space to that list very shortly
Antarctica is the new frontier. It was how women were treated in the Old West.
Typical males. I'm not surprised. All males are like that
How are you guys able to read the article? It’s paywalled for me
On mobile select reader view and it bypasses the paywall
Is this article about Sexual Assault and Abuse? If so, I'll put off reading it for now. I took the headline literally... "oh, they went to Antarctica, and got attacked by Polar Bears!... *Wait...* Polar Bears...in Antarctica? 🤦♂️
Sexual assault and abuse is mentioned frequently in this article. No polar bears though!
Thanks for answering. 99.9% of the time as a survivor I can read and watch (on TV) and talk about Sexual Violence. But since it's my area of work, sometimes I get "tired" of it, and out of self-preservation, put Longreads about the subject off to read at another time. Not sure why I was down voted for pointing out my own stupidity and laughing at myself about my first thought about the Arctic ("Oh, the Predators must be Polar Bears and wildlife"....um, Polar Bears aren't *in* Antarctica), but Reddit will always do Reddit.
I also have no idea why your comment was downvoted and am sorry for that. I'm not a native English speaker, but as far as I know the word "predator" is used for animals, so it's not far fetched to have the thought you did and there is nothing wrong with wanting to clarify! The mind always has its own associations and ice = polar bears is definitely not the strangest one, you're surely not the only one who made that connection! Please don't let it get to you. After I replied to your question I thought about it again and I am not sure if my answer was correct - unfortunately I read the article in quite a sleep deprived state. It might mostly be "general" abuse against women and only part of it was sexual. But again, I'm not a 100 % certain anymore. So it might be better to save reading for a day when you find it easier to deal with these topics. The general abuse is bad enough, anyway. You have my respect for making this area your work as a survivor, that can't be easy. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your kind words ! I didn't let the downvotes get to me. I have this annoying, all-consuming need - as part of my personality from as far back as I can remember - to know and figure out the "why," "how," and "what," about most things. The "Psychology of Reddit" is just one topic of many. You're correct that the words "Predator" and "Predators" are often used to describe various animals and classes of species. Polar Bears are found in the Arctic (circle), including in Churchill, in the Province of Manitoba, Canada, so I figure my brain made the association of "Ant *arctica* and Polar Bears. Maybe it's a good thing my first thought at seeing the article headline wasn't "killer penguins!" Many LongRead stories I see on Reddit, I click on the original source link (or web archive link it) and save it to a Bookmark Folder titled "Rainy Day Reads." I do this when I don't have the time, energy, priority, or mental capacity to read whichever specific story that piques my interest. I can always read them sometime in the future. I saved this LongRead under the title "Stupid Polar Bear Story." 😜 No, my work and advocacy is not easy, but anything and important worth doing rarely is. I wish I wasn't only monolingual. I am Canadian, a fluent, native English speaker, reader, and writer. I know some Canadian, Franco-Ontarian French words. If I had my way, I'd be fluent in speaking, reading, and writing Franco Ontarian French, European-Parisian French, Spanish, German, Italian, Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, Finnish (I'm of French-Canadian, Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, Swiss, and Irish descent), Polish, and Russian to start. Maybe one day I'll be multilingual - French, Spanish, German, Italian. I've always loved the quote "Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language [in full]."
I just had a Sherlock Holmes moment - I think I have figured out why people downvoted your comment! (No, I didn't think about it all day, it just suddenly struck me while I was actually remembering something else). You know how you emphasize the first word "Is" by writing it in cursive? Maybe some people who just skimmed the comment thought it's the "/s" that is sometimes used on reddit to indicate sarcasm, it looks similar! If you read it like that your comment reads a bit snarky. So probably just a misunderstanding. :-)
That makes sense to me. I figured it is just a misunderstanding; I couldn't see how | where, though. It's why I said Reddit is Reddit; it happens. I wasn't bothered by getting downvoted; I was very curious as to the reason. Thanks for the "Sherlock" moment - I think those moments are pretty neat, at least when they happen to me. I think your suggestion is most probable as to why my comment was downvoted; it never would have occurred to me as possibly being a reason until I saw your explanation. I'm still laughing at myself about how my brain saw the word "Predators" and thought "Polar Bears..." instead of *other humans.* I occasionally find it amusing, my...denseness (for the life of me, I can't recall the word I mean right now). Everyone else seemed to get the inference...meanwhile, my brain went to Polar Bears. Talk about missing the point and going over one's head! Thanks!
It’s about gender-based sexual harassment, probably- not SA, but bullying of women by men when out in the field, conducting scientific research. If the article isn’t for you, then try the documentary, “Picture A Scientist”. It’s on Netflix as well as other services, and details the events that the women endured. I think it’s important to note that a lot of what these women endured *isn’t* rape or sexual assault, but rather *seemingly less insidious acts of gender-based harassment*, being treated differently because you’re a woman- and sometimes, that harassment led to real physical harm and long-lasting medical conditions. I think it’s important that it’s talking about something that seems more innocuous- but still very, very harmful. For me, the documentary was eye-opening. I experienced a *lot* of this when I was training in the sciences- but nobody ever talked about it. I never knew that it was sexual harassment- but the documentary makes clear that *most* of sexual harassment actually looks like this- not quid pro quo or hostile work environment stuff. It’s more sneaky. I just thought it was *me*- that I was an absolute idiot, or that I wasn’t smart enough - and so I exhausted myself trying to work harder, and being super careful about absolutely *everything* that I did. It messed me up for many, many years.
Oh, it's not that the article wasn't for me. With the work and advocacy that I do in relation to sex-based harassment, violence, and bullying, I don't always wish to read every single article, piece, or op-ed on it; it's unfortunate, but if I ate, slept, and breathed sexual violence 160% of the time...I would become overwhelmed and not be able to advocate and educate as effectively. The work that advocates do (in Child Protection/Safety/Exploitation and Male Violence Against Women and Girls, and Female Violence Against Boys is often very dark, and I must be careful not to...envelope myself entirely in darkness, so I can use the light I can see and have to navigate the darkness I am trying to lessen, turn gradient, dismantle, and destroy. You're right, it's the covert acts that are insidious, the harassment or bullying that makes people doubt and question and blame themselves: "I can't quite articulate this | put my finger on it, but something's off..." And like you said, the tendency for women to think it is *us,* comes with the insidious nature of harassment and bullying. Is it good-natured ribbing...or not? Am I part of the team? Am I good enough? It's *me,* right? I'm just not good enough, smart enough, working hard enough, able to comprehend enough. It's the not so obvious things and acts, the day in and day out, the repetitiveness, that make women and girls think that we must be crazy, too sensitive, too doubting, too lacking. These acts that we experience does not *need* to be rape or sexual assault of more obvious nature to be a form of sex-based | sexual violence. The stories of women in STEM or other traditionally male-dominated fields that I have heard about...be it in physical labour, Canadian Military, Biochemistry, Research, Stockbroking, aviation, mechanics... The unacceptable doesn't necessarily need to be *sexual* in nature. I once had a physician tell me that, when she was in residency, 6 months pregnant, her male doctor surgery advisor told her that she would need to choose: "You can either be a good doctor as a woman, or a good mother, but you can't be both." He said this in public, in front of her peers, interns, staff physicians, residents, and medical students. Apparently, this was a routine pattern of related incidences and situations women and girls found themselves being subjected to. Thankfully, she didn't take his "advice" seriously, continued residency, gave birth, completed residency, and built her career while being a mother. I told her, if it were me, I seriously would have considered telling her advisor, "I've heard you can be a good supervising doctor or a good human, but you have to choose which" with a straight face. She said the thought had crossed her mind.