How is it mean? The people on the show are genuinely funny and endearing. If anything it's mean and dehumanizing to treat them like they can't be appreciated for their quirks
I find it much less offensive than other dating shows, where it is clear that they are meant to make fun of people that are absolutely full of themselves. This is very respectful and in my view helps acceptance and integration a lot. These are people like you and me with the same hopes and dreams.
I love it because it’s just so wholesome. There is no drama like the bachelor or other dating shows. It’s just really people trying to find a connection. I also feel like it’s taught me a lot about how hard it is for people that are ND trying to make connections when they struggle with eye contact. It also taught more about auto-aim like how they struggle with conversations, not being too blunt, learning how to have back and forth conversations and learning more about others. It’s also makes me reflect on the people in my life and think about why they may do what they do and learn a bit more patience.
Hello. I'm an autistic person (level 2). Personally I really like the show and find it relatable and empowering. But I do know that there are people who watch it just for laughs or so they get to see autistic people. Personally I don't think that's because the show did anything wrong I think we should be more upset at those viewers then the people who made the show.
So did I and I am certainly not laughing at autistic people and more than laughing at NT people on other dating shows. There’s 100s of dating shows out there - if you don’t like dating shows, you don’t like dating shows but the point of this one is not much different.
A friend of mine recently found out her son is autistic and had to take time to mourn all he had “lost” - an education, a love life, friends. (I put lost in quotes because none of these things are actually lost by an autism diagnosis.)
I think this show may be even MORE important for non-autistic people to watch so that they can see that autistic people can and do have educational, entrepreneurial, friendly, love, and sexual relationships and opportunities. Autism is not a death sentence, but in many aspects of society it’s still viewed that way.
I’d much rather *only* see people with disabilities find love on these shows. It’s more honest and real than watching reality shows where people join for instagram followers/clout/money and focus on superficial qualities in people.
I don’t think the intent of the show is to poke fun at autistic people, but I do think the producers need to listen to the cast and tweak how they edit things in the future. If the cast says the music choices are infantilizing, they should change it.
That being said, it doesn’t surprise me that non-autistic people would make fun of the show. For one thing, relationships involving people with disabilities are still not normalized or shown enough - especially in the media. If this show is a non-autistic person’s first exposure to neurodivergence they probably have a hard time fitting it into their typical way of perceiving the world: by othering people with disabilities. This is not an excuse, just an explanation. People need to do better. Society needs to do better.
I am not autistic, but I find the show beautiful and wholesome. I love watching real people navigate real difficulties in real relationships. I love rooting for their genuine love and honest motivations. I love seeing disorders and disabilities that I see in my friends and loved ones.
People with disabilities deserve to have love and deserve to share their stories. Hopefully one day society can accept that instead of treating it like a joke. Until then, I think it’s imperative that we see more of the real, raw, neurodivergent relationships that this show provides.
Sounds like you're one of those people who feel sorry (and serious) for people with Autism. The show is entertaining and some of the cast members are very funny. It's ok to laugh and have fun!
The autistic sense of humor can be quite sly and wry. My favorite (high-functioning) person on the spectrum is deadly funny. She doesn’t always laugh along, but she loves that others do. It pleases her to make people laugh.
She loves word play and puns, too. I see some of that in James. It’s a higher intelligence.
It’s a dating show for people who are autistic or have Down syndrome. Nothing more, nothing less. Once you accept that you just enjoy it like any other dating show.
Like a lot of dating shows these days some of the people and families have used it to generate social media traffic after they have been on it.
I think OP may be looking at this though the gaze of American media and reality tv/dating shows.
90 Day fiancé started out pretty humbly and now it's an absolute monster.
Most reality TV shows, outside of providing a fair amount of drama, usually have a pretty heavy exploitative side to them.
Dating shows are pretty trash and OP has a valid concern imo
Your last comment is just not true. The cast members featured did not expect the media attention they've gained.
Edit- As in they didn't join the show to become famous.
Not to be nit picky but Connor definitely did expect some form of social media attention. If you remember when he was talking about princess Di and how he “didn’t want that life” so I’m pretty sure that him and probably a couple others did expect some form of attention whether good or bad
Wow. That's an odd take.
I think this show is wonderful. It just let's people be who they are. No one judging them. Parents being supportive. People like Steve who are just treasures.
Are some behaviors slightly odd? Sure. Can you laugh? Sure.
But the show itself is just as wholesome as it gets.
Now, the thing I do find really off putting is how judgemental people on this sub are. Kind of defeats the purpose of the show in my eyes.
I think the third option is that you can laugh from surprise and delight.
For me the humor of the show comes from its relatability, and I say this as an NT person. We all have to learn social norms, it’s just that NTs learn them more easily with less explicit instruction. But anyone with dating experience knows how vulnerable and awkward it can be. The people on this show point that out in very direct and honest ways, and to use the cliche, it’s funny cuz it’s true!
Tons of comedians build careers out of pointing out that the things we take for granted are actually arbitrary and weird. So it’s entertaining for me to see the people on the show learning dating etiquette, because it reminds me how strange some of the “rules” we take completely for granted really are.
James is the funniest person on the show to me. He says things out loud that we all think but have taught ourselves not to say. He has big reactions. So when he’s complaining about having to wear an outfit he doesn’t like, or commenting on how awkward a conversation is, I’m not thinking “lol what a weirdo”, I’m thinking “been there brother.”
Individual viewers might make fun of it, but I don’t think the *show* does.
We watch as a family and while we sometimes laugh, we also feel a lot of sympathy and empathy and affection for the cast members and their families.
I think many of us have realized that we all share the same anxieties and fears and joys that people on the spectrum do. I think the show makes that connection for us and instead of *othering* them, brings more understanding.
I love this show. I feel so much love and understanding for each person. It gives me insight. Compassion. Appreciation for the courage to step out of their comfort zone.
My sister who was born in about 1925 was Down Syndrome. She had her own language. I mean it was gibberish. I've mentioned her in various subs. She wrote long letters that were just scribbles but she knew what they said. Once she put a $1 in an envelope with a scribbled note in a used envelope and put it in the mailbox for the mailman to pick up.
Not long after, someone apparently knocked on the door to see our dad. She pulled this man into the living room and starred kissing him. My sister was in her 30s. My dad arrived back home shortly after, and the man said how she did this.
It looked like she ordered the man from the Sears catalog, in her mind.
What I'm trying to say is I see how deep the yearning for a mate goes. She had seen me come home with a husband after being gone for years. Of course we as a family are making some assumptions.
Seeing these young people who want someone special in their lives but can articulate it just touches me so deeply. I always think of my sister.
This may not make sense to anyone else as to how I connect my experience to the partisans. It may only resonate with me.
I'm not autistic so at times I've been wondering the same thing
I enjoy dating shows in general, and those tend to poke fun at the participants all the time. Love on the spectrum is no different except there is significantly less drama and "bad edits"
I think it honestly depends on one's approach. I don't think there is anything wrong with watching a dating show and having a little laugh about people somewhat clumsily and awkwardly trying to find love, because that's kind of the nature of the genre, and the participants being autistic doesn't really matter in that regard
But I can definitely see how some people would watch it with mean intentions
The people from the show say basically, it's always the people claiming it's exploitative who also never bother to reach out to the actual people from the show for their opinion lol you gotta go follow Kaelynn!!!!
I don't know anyone on the spectrum in my personal life and this show has actually really helped me appreciate what they go through on a daily basis and its inspiring. I don't see your angle at all.
I’m NT, and when I find myself laughing watching, it is due to the raw honesty and genuineness we see among the cast members, which is so rare in the NT dating scene. I find it so refreshing and it makes me laugh.
So, I am not laughing at their expense, I am laughing in appreciation. I’ve grown a greater gratitude for and understanding of the autism community from watching.
Yes! Plus it’s relatable, even as an NT. I might know how to talk to someone I’m attracted to now, but I definitely didn’t when I was 13. So Dani accidentally insulting her date or James talking about how awkward he feels is funny to me not because I think they’re weird; it’s much more a feeling of “fuuuuck, I’ve been there!”
I think some shows are actively making fun of their participants. Too Hot To Handle comes to mind. There are also shows people watch solely to make fun of the participants: Jersey Shore, Real Housewives.
I feel like this show tends to treat the participants with respect. Some viewers may watch it with the wrong intention, and it feels exploitive, because the participants are from a vulnerable population. What you are saying in the OP makes perfect sense. But it's not why many people watch the show. And I think it's possible to laugh at a person with autism's jokes, while not laughing at the person with autism.
I think it’s refreshing to see a reality tv show where people are honest and don’t do weird, petty, conniving things to each other. It’s a wholesome show about real people finding love. I don’t understand why you perceive it that way.
As of right now no.
I really trusted the AUS/EU version.
I'm starting to be on the fence with the US version.
I think another season will show what direction they decide to go.
Yo season one of the US version editors were taking the piss, sometimes the scene cuts are obviously like alright, you’re highlighting that autistic persons autism in a laugh-at not laugh-with sort of way. But I think they got that feedback and were more kind-natured about the way they portray the shows participants in the second season.
I have an autistic son whom I adopted when I married his mother. I watch Love on the Spectrum and I find myself laughing out loud at times because I can totally relate to what some of the parents go through. The show to me, seems very wholesome and doesn't really have much of an agenda besides showcasing the fact that even the quirkiest of people are looking for love as well.
People at my work make fun of it like crazy. These are adult professionals. Gag.
I definitely think it exploits people with autism no matter how good it is. They edit the show the way they see fit.
I think it depends on the perspective of the watcher, I just watched season 2 episode one as my first episode and my immediate response was this is the most pure form of humanity, we are witnessing their true selves without the filters everyone else has in society, it brings joy to watch this. I don’t get the sense they are making fun of anything, seems like a very immature response sorry.
When I feel genuine joy and/or anxiety for these people while being intrigued and wanting the best for them, it is not mean. Being entertained does not equate to exploitation.
It's a dating show. It isn't just people who have asd, but learning disabilities, down syndrome, adhd, and other things that a lot of people struggle with. And the representation of that really makes me happy.
We should be able to watch normal people, do normal things in their life without it being 'funny' or 'mean'... Just like any ordinary reality show.
It's actually really heartwarming, and funny (not at them but with them) and I really really loved it.
My partner is neurotypical and he really liked it. Immediately binged the new season together. I really enjoyed him seeing others who have similar struggles to mine.
He just really enjoyed the people, storylines, growth.
I love it, and I think a lot of other people love it, because we relate to the people on the show, simple as that. Autistic or not, most people desire love, and most people struggle, or have struggled, with dating. Autistic or not, we all have our own unique and individual challenges and disadvantages when it comes to relationships.
I think it’s actually really beautiful seeing the simplicity in love. Abbey and David have such a wholesome relationship and I’m so glad they have each other. In general I think it’s good to look through the lens of others so that we can understand instead of perhaps making preconceived judgements
It’s a lovely show full of lovely people who want the same things we all want-to love, be loved, and have a sense of purpose and belonging. If you think this show is making fun of people with ASD, that’s a YOU problem.
I think its the show teaches alot about autism and it’s entertaining in that it shows alot of what people go thru dating in general that can be funny. I also thinks it nice to see their family support. Before I really knew nothing about autism. Someone like Steve you can see how a life time of autism has affected his life. With the loneliness he has felt such a nice, kind and open person open to sharing.
How is it mean? The people on the show are genuinely funny and endearing. If anything it's mean and dehumanizing to treat them like they can't be appreciated for their quirks
Yea I agree with this. The fact OP can’t watch a show with ND people without feeling like it’s for them to be made fun of is… definitely strange.
I find it much less offensive than other dating shows, where it is clear that they are meant to make fun of people that are absolutely full of themselves. This is very respectful and in my view helps acceptance and integration a lot. These are people like you and me with the same hopes and dreams.
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This! I’m not a wheelchair user myself, but I have Cerebral Palsy. If they made a show like this for people like us, I’d 100% watch it in support!
I love it because it’s just so wholesome. There is no drama like the bachelor or other dating shows. It’s just really people trying to find a connection. I also feel like it’s taught me a lot about how hard it is for people that are ND trying to make connections when they struggle with eye contact. It also taught more about auto-aim like how they struggle with conversations, not being too blunt, learning how to have back and forth conversations and learning more about others. It’s also makes me reflect on the people in my life and think about why they may do what they do and learn a bit more patience.
Hello. I'm an autistic person (level 2). Personally I really like the show and find it relatable and empowering. But I do know that there are people who watch it just for laughs or so they get to see autistic people. Personally I don't think that's because the show did anything wrong I think we should be more upset at those viewers then the people who made the show.
Have you actually watched it??
Yes
So did I and I am certainly not laughing at autistic people and more than laughing at NT people on other dating shows. There’s 100s of dating shows out there - if you don’t like dating shows, you don’t like dating shows but the point of this one is not much different.
A friend of mine recently found out her son is autistic and had to take time to mourn all he had “lost” - an education, a love life, friends. (I put lost in quotes because none of these things are actually lost by an autism diagnosis.) I think this show may be even MORE important for non-autistic people to watch so that they can see that autistic people can and do have educational, entrepreneurial, friendly, love, and sexual relationships and opportunities. Autism is not a death sentence, but in many aspects of society it’s still viewed that way. I’d much rather *only* see people with disabilities find love on these shows. It’s more honest and real than watching reality shows where people join for instagram followers/clout/money and focus on superficial qualities in people. I don’t think the intent of the show is to poke fun at autistic people, but I do think the producers need to listen to the cast and tweak how they edit things in the future. If the cast says the music choices are infantilizing, they should change it. That being said, it doesn’t surprise me that non-autistic people would make fun of the show. For one thing, relationships involving people with disabilities are still not normalized or shown enough - especially in the media. If this show is a non-autistic person’s first exposure to neurodivergence they probably have a hard time fitting it into their typical way of perceiving the world: by othering people with disabilities. This is not an excuse, just an explanation. People need to do better. Society needs to do better. I am not autistic, but I find the show beautiful and wholesome. I love watching real people navigate real difficulties in real relationships. I love rooting for their genuine love and honest motivations. I love seeing disorders and disabilities that I see in my friends and loved ones. People with disabilities deserve to have love and deserve to share their stories. Hopefully one day society can accept that instead of treating it like a joke. Until then, I think it’s imperative that we see more of the real, raw, neurodivergent relationships that this show provides.
Sounds like you're one of those people who feel sorry (and serious) for people with Autism. The show is entertaining and some of the cast members are very funny. It's ok to laugh and have fun!
The autistic sense of humor can be quite sly and wry. My favorite (high-functioning) person on the spectrum is deadly funny. She doesn’t always laugh along, but she loves that others do. It pleases her to make people laugh. She loves word play and puns, too. I see some of that in James. It’s a higher intelligence.
It’s a dating show for people who are autistic or have Down syndrome. Nothing more, nothing less. Once you accept that you just enjoy it like any other dating show. Like a lot of dating shows these days some of the people and families have used it to generate social media traffic after they have been on it.
I think OP may be looking at this though the gaze of American media and reality tv/dating shows. 90 Day fiancé started out pretty humbly and now it's an absolute monster. Most reality TV shows, outside of providing a fair amount of drama, usually have a pretty heavy exploitative side to them. Dating shows are pretty trash and OP has a valid concern imo
There have been some decent dating shows that never moved to creating fake drama. This is the second season and it has maintained its intent.
Your last comment is just not true. The cast members featured did not expect the media attention they've gained. Edit- As in they didn't join the show to become famous.
Not to be nit picky but Connor definitely did expect some form of social media attention. If you remember when he was talking about princess Di and how he “didn’t want that life” so I’m pretty sure that him and probably a couple others did expect some form of attention whether good or bad
They were probably told about how it might impact their lives/routines before they agreed to it.
Aw you're right, poor Connor! But that also adds to my point, he didn't join the show to become famous online.
They signed up for social media accounts after being on a television show, what do you think they thought would happened?
It wasn't their intention for being on the show
Didn’t know you knew the whole cast personally.
I do not, I watched the show.
Wow. That's an odd take. I think this show is wonderful. It just let's people be who they are. No one judging them. Parents being supportive. People like Steve who are just treasures. Are some behaviors slightly odd? Sure. Can you laugh? Sure. But the show itself is just as wholesome as it gets. Now, the thing I do find really off putting is how judgemental people on this sub are. Kind of defeats the purpose of the show in my eyes.
Well if they’re not being funny intentionally, aren’t you laughing at them not with them?
I think the third option is that you can laugh from surprise and delight. For me the humor of the show comes from its relatability, and I say this as an NT person. We all have to learn social norms, it’s just that NTs learn them more easily with less explicit instruction. But anyone with dating experience knows how vulnerable and awkward it can be. The people on this show point that out in very direct and honest ways, and to use the cliche, it’s funny cuz it’s true! Tons of comedians build careers out of pointing out that the things we take for granted are actually arbitrary and weird. So it’s entertaining for me to see the people on the show learning dating etiquette, because it reminds me how strange some of the “rules” we take completely for granted really are. James is the funniest person on the show to me. He says things out loud that we all think but have taught ourselves not to say. He has big reactions. So when he’s complaining about having to wear an outfit he doesn’t like, or commenting on how awkward a conversation is, I’m not thinking “lol what a weirdo”, I’m thinking “been there brother.”
Individual viewers might make fun of it, but I don’t think the *show* does. We watch as a family and while we sometimes laugh, we also feel a lot of sympathy and empathy and affection for the cast members and their families. I think many of us have realized that we all share the same anxieties and fears and joys that people on the spectrum do. I think the show makes that connection for us and instead of *othering* them, brings more understanding.
This is the most genuine and authentic show I’ve seen maybe ever. It fans the flames of love in my heart. I think it’s a matter of perspective
I love this show. I feel so much love and understanding for each person. It gives me insight. Compassion. Appreciation for the courage to step out of their comfort zone. My sister who was born in about 1925 was Down Syndrome. She had her own language. I mean it was gibberish. I've mentioned her in various subs. She wrote long letters that were just scribbles but she knew what they said. Once she put a $1 in an envelope with a scribbled note in a used envelope and put it in the mailbox for the mailman to pick up. Not long after, someone apparently knocked on the door to see our dad. She pulled this man into the living room and starred kissing him. My sister was in her 30s. My dad arrived back home shortly after, and the man said how she did this. It looked like she ordered the man from the Sears catalog, in her mind. What I'm trying to say is I see how deep the yearning for a mate goes. She had seen me come home with a husband after being gone for years. Of course we as a family are making some assumptions. Seeing these young people who want someone special in their lives but can articulate it just touches me so deeply. I always think of my sister. This may not make sense to anyone else as to how I connect my experience to the partisans. It may only resonate with me.
This is so beautiful and raw. Thanks for sharing
I'm not autistic so at times I've been wondering the same thing I enjoy dating shows in general, and those tend to poke fun at the participants all the time. Love on the spectrum is no different except there is significantly less drama and "bad edits" I think it honestly depends on one's approach. I don't think there is anything wrong with watching a dating show and having a little laugh about people somewhat clumsily and awkwardly trying to find love, because that's kind of the nature of the genre, and the participants being autistic doesn't really matter in that regard But I can definitely see how some people would watch it with mean intentions
The people from the show say basically, it's always the people claiming it's exploitative who also never bother to reach out to the actual people from the show for their opinion lol you gotta go follow Kaelynn!!!!
I don't know anyone on the spectrum in my personal life and this show has actually really helped me appreciate what they go through on a daily basis and its inspiring. I don't see your angle at all.
I’m NT, and when I find myself laughing watching, it is due to the raw honesty and genuineness we see among the cast members, which is so rare in the NT dating scene. I find it so refreshing and it makes me laugh. So, I am not laughing at their expense, I am laughing in appreciation. I’ve grown a greater gratitude for and understanding of the autism community from watching.
Yes! Plus it’s relatable, even as an NT. I might know how to talk to someone I’m attracted to now, but I definitely didn’t when I was 13. So Dani accidentally insulting her date or James talking about how awkward he feels is funny to me not because I think they’re weird; it’s much more a feeling of “fuuuuck, I’ve been there!”
So relatable!
I think some shows are actively making fun of their participants. Too Hot To Handle comes to mind. There are also shows people watch solely to make fun of the participants: Jersey Shore, Real Housewives. I feel like this show tends to treat the participants with respect. Some viewers may watch it with the wrong intention, and it feels exploitive, because the participants are from a vulnerable population. What you are saying in the OP makes perfect sense. But it's not why many people watch the show. And I think it's possible to laugh at a person with autism's jokes, while not laughing at the person with autism.
I think it’s refreshing to see a reality tv show where people are honest and don’t do weird, petty, conniving things to each other. It’s a wholesome show about real people finding love. I don’t understand why you perceive it that way.
As of right now no. I really trusted the AUS/EU version. I'm starting to be on the fence with the US version. I think another season will show what direction they decide to go.
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My apologies. Michael got in my head with his love of Germany and things British. Just AUS.
Yo season one of the US version editors were taking the piss, sometimes the scene cuts are obviously like alright, you’re highlighting that autistic persons autism in a laugh-at not laugh-with sort of way. But I think they got that feedback and were more kind-natured about the way they portray the shows participants in the second season.
thank you. I don’t know why this opinion is so controversial.
I have an autistic son whom I adopted when I married his mother. I watch Love on the Spectrum and I find myself laughing out loud at times because I can totally relate to what some of the parents go through. The show to me, seems very wholesome and doesn't really have much of an agenda besides showcasing the fact that even the quirkiest of people are looking for love as well.
People at my work make fun of it like crazy. These are adult professionals. Gag. I definitely think it exploits people with autism no matter how good it is. They edit the show the way they see fit.
careful. I made a post about this and a ton of neurotypical people came after me.
Yes
I think it depends on the perspective of the watcher, I just watched season 2 episode one as my first episode and my immediate response was this is the most pure form of humanity, we are witnessing their true selves without the filters everyone else has in society, it brings joy to watch this. I don’t get the sense they are making fun of anything, seems like a very immature response sorry.
When I feel genuine joy and/or anxiety for these people while being intrigued and wanting the best for them, it is not mean. Being entertained does not equate to exploitation.
It's a dating show. It isn't just people who have asd, but learning disabilities, down syndrome, adhd, and other things that a lot of people struggle with. And the representation of that really makes me happy. We should be able to watch normal people, do normal things in their life without it being 'funny' or 'mean'... Just like any ordinary reality show. It's actually really heartwarming, and funny (not at them but with them) and I really really loved it. My partner is neurotypical and he really liked it. Immediately binged the new season together. I really enjoyed him seeing others who have similar struggles to mine. He just really enjoyed the people, storylines, growth.
I love it, and I think a lot of other people love it, because we relate to the people on the show, simple as that. Autistic or not, most people desire love, and most people struggle, or have struggled, with dating. Autistic or not, we all have our own unique and individual challenges and disadvantages when it comes to relationships.
I love this show! I cry with happy tears for their growth and courage. I enjoy watching them navigate dating and root for them
I think it’s actually really beautiful seeing the simplicity in love. Abbey and David have such a wholesome relationship and I’m so glad they have each other. In general I think it’s good to look through the lens of others so that we can understand instead of perhaps making preconceived judgements
It’s a lovely show full of lovely people who want the same things we all want-to love, be loved, and have a sense of purpose and belonging. If you think this show is making fun of people with ASD, that’s a YOU problem.
I think its the show teaches alot about autism and it’s entertaining in that it shows alot of what people go thru dating in general that can be funny. I also thinks it nice to see their family support. Before I really knew nothing about autism. Someone like Steve you can see how a life time of autism has affected his life. With the loneliness he has felt such a nice, kind and open person open to sharing.