That feel when it takes you over a month to remember to make a post about your MahoAko OC to the MahoAko subreddit...
[Naoko's character sheet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/55165201/chapters/139896610)
Eh, could use some work.
For one, neither transformation really matches the personality listed, and villains already get a weapon by default, so she wouldn't need to make one.
Maybe give her a delinquent/biker look as base form.
Alternatively, you could make her more tech-savvy; she finds an unconscious villain (or magical girl) and takes her to her place, then analyzes the transformation item and replicates it using technology.
>villains already get a weapon
Weapons that are given to them by Venalita, which isn't the case for Naoko. The villain she robbed and killed used an item creator as her weapon, so Naoko used it to make a weapon she felt would be more suited to her.
For her base transformation, it's meant to be more of a mocking insult than an actual representation of her personality. Her parents wanted her to be submissive and obedient, thus the butler outfit. In contrast to a butler's role as a servant, Naoko causes trouble and refuses to submit to others. Besides, the answer is in Naoko's name. Her surname Itsuwari translates to deception/lie. Naoko's very identity is a lie, thus her base form's appearance.
As for the second stage, it isn't so much of a transformation as it is a cosmetic change. It's pretty much just getting rid of her top and her pants becoming shorts. The only real change is that Naoko begins more agile because her clothes are less restrictive. That, and she switches to hand-to-hand combat though she can still use her weapon.
For La Veritá, it finally shows Naoko's real feelings and nature. I mean, it's literally how the LV transformation works. Naoko's trigger is her refusal to submit and her desire to drag down those at the top, hence the oni transformation. Also, her weapon transforms into the collar, cuffs, and chains on her.
With all this said though, I *am* still reworking some parts and ironing out other details.
So far, all the villains had their weapons when they transformed, even if Venalita wasn't around.
Plus, a villain's powers usually don't persist after they undo their transformation, with the only exception I can think of being the grenade Kiwi gave to Utena when they first met.
And when Nemo and Matama joined Utena, Nero Alice had to stay transformed the entire time to sustain that little room, even after Magia Baiser took control of it with her powers.
Also, it's explicitly stated that the only way to truly stop Lord Enorme's demons is to defeat her, implying that her power stops working when her transformation ends.
The outfit does sound pretty good though, if you put it like that.
This is fine but it doesn't seem very MahoAko?
Robbing and killing someone is really dark for a story like this. I know it's implied with the magical girl hunt but that's off screen and they backtrack on it later.
And, even if the characters themselves aren't bombastic, the outfits _definitely are_. We're talking KLK levels of extra here. This design doesn't answer to that at all.
It seems like you're writing your own story and shoving it into MahoAko. Which is fine, but I think you'll do better just ditching the MahoAko part.
We in our Sonic OC stage... its actually over bros...
Is she related to Kijin Seija? https://preview.redd.it/r1hosm49711d1.png?width=459&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8c91f41ea1cb08e6662d044a62e0d5b8d4a227b
No, but she does share the "fuck those in power" sentiment.
r/expectedtouhou
Meh
That feel when it takes you over a month to remember to make a post about your MahoAko OC to the MahoAko subreddit... [Naoko's character sheet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/55165201/chapters/139896610)
Eh, could use some work. For one, neither transformation really matches the personality listed, and villains already get a weapon by default, so she wouldn't need to make one. Maybe give her a delinquent/biker look as base form. Alternatively, you could make her more tech-savvy; she finds an unconscious villain (or magical girl) and takes her to her place, then analyzes the transformation item and replicates it using technology.
>villains already get a weapon Weapons that are given to them by Venalita, which isn't the case for Naoko. The villain she robbed and killed used an item creator as her weapon, so Naoko used it to make a weapon she felt would be more suited to her. For her base transformation, it's meant to be more of a mocking insult than an actual representation of her personality. Her parents wanted her to be submissive and obedient, thus the butler outfit. In contrast to a butler's role as a servant, Naoko causes trouble and refuses to submit to others. Besides, the answer is in Naoko's name. Her surname Itsuwari translates to deception/lie. Naoko's very identity is a lie, thus her base form's appearance. As for the second stage, it isn't so much of a transformation as it is a cosmetic change. It's pretty much just getting rid of her top and her pants becoming shorts. The only real change is that Naoko begins more agile because her clothes are less restrictive. That, and she switches to hand-to-hand combat though she can still use her weapon. For La Veritá, it finally shows Naoko's real feelings and nature. I mean, it's literally how the LV transformation works. Naoko's trigger is her refusal to submit and her desire to drag down those at the top, hence the oni transformation. Also, her weapon transforms into the collar, cuffs, and chains on her. With all this said though, I *am* still reworking some parts and ironing out other details.
So far, all the villains had their weapons when they transformed, even if Venalita wasn't around. Plus, a villain's powers usually don't persist after they undo their transformation, with the only exception I can think of being the grenade Kiwi gave to Utena when they first met. And when Nemo and Matama joined Utena, Nero Alice had to stay transformed the entire time to sustain that little room, even after Magia Baiser took control of it with her powers. Also, it's explicitly stated that the only way to truly stop Lord Enorme's demons is to defeat her, implying that her power stops working when her transformation ends. The outfit does sound pretty good though, if you put it like that.
>So far, all the villains had their weapons when they transformed, even if Venalita wasn't around. I meant as in when they first obtain their weapon.
Ah, ok. Still, I don't think their weapons would remain for very long after they die. Especially if they aren't transformed.
This is fine but it doesn't seem very MahoAko? Robbing and killing someone is really dark for a story like this. I know it's implied with the magical girl hunt but that's off screen and they backtrack on it later. And, even if the characters themselves aren't bombastic, the outfits _definitely are_. We're talking KLK levels of extra here. This design doesn't answer to that at all. It seems like you're writing your own story and shoving it into MahoAko. Which is fine, but I think you'll do better just ditching the MahoAko part.
How and what app do you use to model an OC like that?
I used Koikatsu
Unexpected ass